Being with you, Steve is amazing. I've never felt more full of life. Hell, I'm actually excited when I wake up in the morning. It's a first, I'll admit it. You make the world a better place, somewhere worth living.

It's been forty-seven days of our official love story, and we're inseparable. You come into the shop every day, sometimes with your laptop, sometimes without. Those are the best days when you're not weighed down with coursework, so you can spend the afternoons talking with me.

We're waiting to have sex which is fine. We're in no rush, Steve. I get it. You're still posting videos to your OnlyFans, but hey, we all have our vices. Or I'm I not what you want? Do you want me to be your 'daddy'? You've not mentioned it in the many times I've made you cum, so that can't be it.

We'll get to it eventually. You're opening up to me slowly, petal by petal. There are no more secrets like Tommy, but much more to learn. You've been alone most of your life, absent parents since you were eight, friends who wanted you for status, girlfriends who wanted to date the name and not the boy. For all that money, you were lonely, just like me.

It's not so lonely anymore, being together.

I have never loved someone like this before, Steve. Every morning is like a revelation when you're there. It's one of those perfect mornings after you've woken me up with your mouth that you want to take things further. "This might be a little forward, but… can I meet your uncle?"

"Yeah?" Wayne has been asking too when he'd get to meet my new boyfriend. I was worried you weren't ready to take that step, but clearly, I was wrong. "I think he'd like that."

You brighten at the prospect. "Tonight?"

You really want this, don't you? You want to meet my family.

"Let me call Wayne. Make sure he's not busy." Unlikely, but he will want a warning. You're reluctant, but you do let me get up to find my phone. It's not a surprise Wayne is already awake. He's always been an early riser. "Hey, Wayne. I was thinking of bringing Steve over tonight. You mind?"

"Do I mind finally meeting this boy you've been smiling about for over a month?"

"I'm taking that as a yes."

"Of course. Bring him over. I'll make my famous Mac n cheese."

"You're the best, Wayne."

"What time were you planning on coming?"

"Uh…" I glance at you and tap my wrist. You show me your watch and tap the three. "How's three sound?"

"Good enough for me."

"Great. Later, Wayne." I hang up and pull you into a firm kiss. You laugh against my lips, pull back enough to raise your eyebrow. "He can't wait to meet you. And he's making his famous Mac n cheese, so you should feel honoured. He doesn't make it for just anyone."

You're up in an instant. "I need to make something too! What kind of dessert does he like?"

"Uh…"

"Eddie!" It's hard to concentrate when you stand there in your underwear, hands on hips. Our morning together is still fresh in my mind, and honestly, Steve, can you blame me? You could have been carved by Michelangelo himself. You blush, drop the defensive stance and laugh. "Okay, stop it. I've already blown you once today."

"Put some clothes on, then."

You scoff but do as you're told. Good boy. With all your freckled skin hidden away, it's easier to concentrate.

It turns out you know how to cook. You pull out an old, frayed cookbook and set it on the side to leaf through gently. "So?"

"You got any cheesecake recipes? He loves lemon meringue."

I'm your trusty servant for the day. I whisk the eggs and taste the batter - it's delicious. We've never baked together before or made anything really, and it's a nice change. It turns out I'm just as good at following your orders too. It smells delicious, and it's a shame when you put it away in the fridge for later.

With the food out of the way, you move on to the next problem, clothes. You're a worrier, Steve. That much is obvious. You could turn up in a potato sack and still look beautiful, but I don't tell you that. Instead, I'm treated to an impromptu fashion show as you try on shirt after shirt, stripping them off with a huff to find something else.

I love how much this means to you.

Finally, you settle on the grey sweater you wore the first day we met. It still looks good on you, even more so now I know what you're hiding underneath it. I was right too; it is soft. You come closer, and I slip my hands underneath to feel your warm skin. "Good?"

"Perfect."

You pull on my wrists and step back with a wry smile. "Insatiable. I'm not meeting your uncle with a hickey or something. You'll have to wait."

Lucky for you, I'm a patient man.

You insist on driving your Beemer over to mine, and with each passing minute, you get more nervous. By the time we're pulling up, your hands are trembling. You try to hide it, but I reach over to take one to squeeze. "Steve, he's gonna love you, okay?"

"You don't know that."

"I do." I kiss your hand, and you smile. "All Wayne wants is for me to be happy. I'm so happy with you. He knows that."

"Okay." You inhale deeply and nod. "Let's go before I chicken out."

Wayne doesn't seem to be around when we go inside. I even knock on the door and call out to make ourselves known but got no response. You get paler by the second, and it's time for a distraction, so I take you outside to the garden.

"Wow," you breathe as you step down onto the grass. You touch one of the flowers, rub your fingers over the soft petals. "You weren't kidding. It's beautiful."

"Careful. Save your compliments for Wayne."

You were born for the outside, Steve, not the city. Here in this small paradise, you come alive in a way you can't in your flat. It's like being back at Robin's cottage. The pressure falls away, and it's just you. Soft, vulnerable. Different, hot.

You pause at the Peonies. The colours vary from the typical pink and white to orange and yellow. "Can I?"

"Sure."

You pluck one of the yellow ones and come back to me. It's the same shade as your yellow sweater, and it's a shame you didn't wear that one instead. You tuck it into my hair and smile. "Perfect."

I pick one too for you, and your cheeks flush almost the same colour as the flower. "Wayne might kill me for destroying his flowers, but it's worth it."

"You could've said no."

I can't say no to you. I think you know that because you smirk a little.

Wayne clears his throat behind us, making us both jump. He holds up a six-pack of beer, fresh from the shop and why he wasn't home. We were early, after all.

He doesn't mention the flowers, thankfully. Despite being nervous, you're charming. Within minutes you have Wayne wrapped around your finger as you gush about the garden and ask all the right questions. I don't even think you realise it. You look to me for reassurance, I give you a thumbs up, and you grin.

When you reveal the cheesecake, Wayne almost cries. Both the Mac n cheese and dessert go down perfectly. This is the life we're supposed to have, Steve. You and I visiting Wayne every weekend with baked goods and love. Because you love me, and I love you.

It's also a Sunday which means Wayne wants to watch the game. Apparently, you never stop being a jock because you're still excited to watch them even years after finishing high school. But I can't complain. The two of you bond easily over the game.

You get along with Wayne in a way Billy never did. It isn't a fair comparison. The two of you are so different. Billy didn't even grow up here. He only showed up one day with an attitude problem I was unfortunately attracted to. He never did get over it, even after everything I did for him. When he found out… well, it was self-defence in the end. He came after me. What was I supposed to do, let him kill me?

Which is why I'm more careful with you, Steve. Because if you found out what I did to Tommy and yelled at me, called me a freak and a sicko, I'd never get over it. You don't know, though. You'll never know. Tommy is dead and buried in a forest away from the city. Even if he is found, which is unlikely, there's no way you'll suspect me, right?

Dark thoughts don't belong in my bedroom tonight. Not with you in my bed waiting, so I put them aside for now. We're quiet for Wayne. You don't want to ruin the good impression you made after all.

In the darkness, you relax, but the gentle stroke of your fingers through my hair promises questions. You're not settling down to sleep but gearing up to talk. I wait, and after about ten minutes of quiet, you finally ask, "What happened to your parents?"

I sigh, card a hand through your hair to distract myself from the depressing question. It was inevitable after tonight, after Wayne. But we both have shitty families, so it's not like you won't understand. "Mom's an addict - or was - I'm not sure. She left when I was a kid. Dad's in jail, he went from one shitty scheme to another until he got caught up in some bad shit, and he got sent down for it. Wayne got custody when I was eight, and I've been with him ever since. You?"

Now it's your turn to sigh, then a pause as you try to find the words. "Dad's too busy conquering the world, and Mom runs around after him. I'm just the replacement when he's gone. As long as I perform like a good dog, they don't give a shit what I do. Spent most of my childhood at Tommy's until I was old enough to take care of myself."

And that's how you got so caught up in him. He was the only thing you knew, the only constant you had. I wish I could say I was sorry he's gone, but I'm not. We would never have this if he were still alive.

You laugh and kiss my chest, trace the demon tattoo there. "We're both pretty fucked up, huh?"

"Nah, just you."

You slap me playfully. "I suppose you got one loving guardian."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Besides, it was years ago. I'm not alone anymore. I have Robin and Nance and… you." You say it so softly I barely catch the last word. You're still afraid I'm not in this completely.

"I've only brought one other person home to meet Wayne, and… he broke my heart, Steve. It's taken a long time to learn to trust again. But I do trust you. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Okay." Your smile is soft, expression so open it's mesmerising. "I love you, too."

I didn't even realise my confession. Your words are like pure bliss, better than anything I've ever taken, which isn't a lot, but the sentiment remains. You love me. Everything I've done, everything I've risked, it was all worth it to hear those words.

You fall asleep first with a smile on your face pressed into my chest. It's a wonderful sight and feeling, one I hope I never lose. It's easy to find sleep with you safe in my arms.

The incessant ring of the doorbell wakes us both up. You look up at me with an adorable sleep frown. "It's almost four in the morning. Who is that?"

"No idea." But it's my house, and Wayne will still be asleep, so I've got to answer.

Of all the things I expected, it wasn't to find Billy Hargrove on the doorstep. We stare at each other for a long time before I finally manage to get a word out, "How…"

"Didn't expect to see me again, huh?"

No, because he's supposed to be dead. I buried his body. He can't be stood there on the doorstep. I'm coming to the conclusion it's a hallucination when you appear at my side. You can see him too, so I'm not going crazy.

We haven't talked about our exes. My list is depressingly short, and yours is depressingly long. But you can tell. Your eyes narrow at Billy, and you step closer to me. You can sense my discomfort, and it's not hard because I'm freaking the fuck out. Billy was dead. But Billy is not dead, and you're going to leave me.

"Why are you here?" You ask sharply when it becomes clear I'm not able to speak. "It's four in the morning. Couldn't it wait?"

Billy looks at you, and understanding flickers across his expression. He laughs. It's cruel. "Listen, if I were you, I'd get the hell away from this guy whilst I still have the chance. Trust me."

"I think that's for me to decide." You grab my arm, snap me from my daze. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we'd like to go back to bed. Whatever you want, it can wait until later." You shut the door in Billy's face before you turn to me, worried. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah- I mean, yes, I'm fine."

"You wanna talk about that?"

"No." Because how am I supposed to explain that a guy I killed and buried came back to life? The bell rings again. I look at you as you look at the door. "It's fine, Steve. Let me deal with this, and I'll meet you upstairs?"

You hesitate but then nod, kiss me chastely and go up the stairs.

Billy is still waiting when I open the door. "Pretty boyfriend. How long before you try to kill him too?"

"Listen, you were the one who-"

"You killed people!" I glance at the stairs, but you're not there. Billy notices and laughs. "Pretty boy doesn't know yet? Don't worry. As soon as he's alone and away from you, I'll tell him everything."

"He won't believe you."

"Maybe not straight away. But I won't let you do this again, hurt anyone else." He steps back when I reach out, and the hard facade fades for a second, showing his true fear. "Don't fucking touch me, you psychopath."

"I was protecting you, Billy. You went after me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry. Leave Steve out of this. This is between you and me." If he tells you, Steve, even if you don't believe him, it'll be in your head eating away at you. I can't let that happen even if I have to kill Billy again. "Let's just go somewhere and talk."

"Yeah, right, so you can finish the job. Enjoy it whilst it lasts, Eddie, because he will never look at you again once he knows who you really are." He turns and leaves.

I shut the door and stare at it for a long time. How can I protect you from this new threat? This smart, dangerous threat that knows me too? I can't trick or coerce Billy into a corner. I can't explain this to you. It's a trap, and I'm already caught. How could I let this happen?

I was too soft, too upset when he died to make sure he really was dead, and now I'm paying the price. Love makes you blind, Steve—even fake love.

You're upset when I finally get back upstairs. Sat upright with your arms folded, you look at me expectantly as I get back into bed. "Well?"

"He's gone for now."

"What the hell was that about?"

"Doesn't matter, Steve. Let's go back to sleep. Please?"

You soften and nod, settle in beside me. After a few minutes of silence, you ask, "Did you love him?"

"I thought I did. But not like you, I promise."

"Okay." You don't speak after that, nor do I, even though we don't sleep.

Something changes after Billy. You start to pull away. You're 'too tired' to come to the shop every day, and my dick doesn't interest you anymore. Did he tell you? No, he couldn't have. When we are together, you can't keep your hands to yourself. You still smile and say you love me.

So what is it, Steve?

You're quiet in the in-betweens, and there are no new messages on your phone. I don't know what you're doing, and it scares me. How can I protect you if I don't know where you are and who you're with?

And then you start messaging someone else. I see you on your phone, but whenever I try to check, there's nothing. You haven't deactivated the app, I'm still receiving your emails and other messages, but this person you talk to, the reason you hide your phone when I'm near, there's no trace of the conversation.

Tommy was right after all, and we haven't even slept together. You're pulling away, bored of me. I need to find out who this person is and get rid of them before it's too late. To do that, I need your phone.