Chapter 5

Zoya wasn't sure whether they had made it out of Shu Han before they were forced to stop. Tamar couldn't keep her feet anymore as the severe withdrawal kicked in, and Nikolai was still unconscious. So Zoya used her senses to find water nearby and steered them all toward it.

At the small creek, she sat Tamar down against a tree, then turned to Nikolai as Tolya laid him on the grass. They hadn't had a chance to check him over yet, and Zoya was anxious about his condition.

"How is he?" Tamar asked hoarsely.

Zoya crouched next to him and summoned up water to rinse the blood off. A lot of it didn't appear to be his, though she found he was injured. There were several bruises and a nasty bite mark in his shoulder that her dragon had delivered. Tolya tried to perform some healing on it, but it didn't appear to do much.

"He's very weak," Tolya said aloud. His mouth turned down. "His pulse and heart rate are erratic. Shouldn't the antidote have neutralized all of the parem's effects?"

Zoya used her Durast abilities to scan Nikolai's body. "There are other substances in his bloodstream," she replied, her heart burning with ire. "Other drugs."

She knew Durasts could remove foreign elements from someone by absorbing it into themselves, but she had never tried that before. And she wasn't sure it was wise to attempt it now. As far as she could tell, at least, the drugs were only wreaking havoc on his system, not posing a lethal threat. She'd have to let them run their course. Her own injuries were twinging beneath her dragon scale armor, but she would tend them later.

She finished rinsing all the blood and grime from Nikolai's skin, then quickly dried him with some warmed wind so he wouldn't catch cold. The myriad of merzost scars across his body made her heart constrict. He had been through so much already, suffered so much from the demon inside him, and now this. Korol Rezni. No longer king, and scarred even more. At least Makhi and her minions had suffered for their crimes.

Nikolai was half exposed with the tattered breeches, but Zoya was able to mend the torn threads back together. They didn't have anything else to cover the rest of him with, though, so she resorted to growing up the grass around them and weaving the fronds into a makeshift blanket.

Tolya went over to Tamar. She was shaking and sweating profusely, and they all knew it was only going to get worse. Zoya wanted to believe she would survive like Nina did, but there was no guarantee. So many others hadn't.

Since they were stuck here for an indeterminate amount of time, Zoya fashioned shallow bowls from rocks and filled them with water for easy access. Tolya helped Tamar lie down on her side and used a wet handkerchief to wipe her face. He then moved his hands over her, no doubt trying to help alleviate the withdrawal symptoms, but it didn't work.

Zoya drew kindling to one spot and lit it on fire. She then sat on the ground next to Nikolai, wincing as her wound pinched.

Tolya quickly came over. "Where are you injured?"

"I'll be fine," she told him.

"That fight was brutal." He gave her a pained look. "I can't help either of them; let me help you."

Zoya's shoulders sagged and she consented to him using his power on her. Moving her hand over her side, she peeled back some of the dragon scales to expose the slash marks. Tolya raised his hands and melded flesh and sinew back together. She fused the armor back into place, then one by one exposed patches of her other injuries. Tolya healed each one as best he could, and when he was done, he went back to his sister.

Zoya lifted Nikolai's head into her lap. She should have brought more Grisha with them. She'd been so concerned with speed and stealth that she hadn't given thought to contingency plans. She gazed down at Nikolai's pale face and carded her fingers through his hair. The inky marks now curved up under his hairline, tinging the blond roots black. A network of lines branched out from under his ear and across the left side of his face, forking above and below his eye. Zoya knew Genya wouldn't be able to tailor them away.

They sat in silence, with only Tamar's moans permeating the forest. Zoya felt utterly helpless and she hated it.

"Tolya," Tamar rasped, her hand flailing.

He reached out to grab it. "I'm here."

"It hurts."

"I know. I'm sorry I can't do anything." He wet the kerchief again and wiped it over her brow and cheeks.

"If I don't make it," she started. "Nadia—"

"Are you admitting you were wrong?" Tolya cut her off. "Let Zoya bear witness, Tamar Kir-Bataar admits she was wrong."

Tamar glowered at him. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch, brother."

"So you still maintain you'll survive this."

"You bet your ass I do," she ground out.

"Then there's nothing else to say."

Zoya's throat tightened.

The twins fell silent, save for Tamar's continued sounds of misery. Zoya wasn't sure how much time was passing. It was agonizingly slow and could have been minutes or hours.

Then Nikolai's eyes cracked open.

She shifted to cup his face and turned it up toward hers. "Nikolai?"

He blinked sluggishly several times before rasping, "Zoya." His voice was weak and gravelly. "Is this real?"

Hot moisture pricked at the corners of her eyes. "Yes, it's real. I'm here. You're okay. You're going to be okay."

She didn't know if that was true, but she clung to it with the same desperate hope Tolya was with Tamar.

Nikolai's own eyes turned watery. "You found me."

Zoya leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead, then rested her brow against his. "I will always find you."

Tolya came over then and began moving his hands over Nikolai, though by the pinched look on his face, he apparently still couldn't do much to help him. So he abandoned the healing and picked up a bowl of water. Zoya supported Nikolai's head as they helped him take a few sips. He coughed and then tried to look around, though he could barely move. Zoya cradled him closer.

"Just rest," she said. "We're safe right now." She stroked his forehead and he was lulled back to sleep.

The day limped along, and Zoya and Tolya continued tending Nikolai and Tamar, who were both in bad shape. Tamar began tossing and turning, unable to rest.

"I could recite some sonnets," Tolya offered.

She groaned. "I'm suffering enough."

At least she was holding onto her spirit, which was a good sign. But then her thrashing gradually stopped, and she fell still and quiet. Her breathing was still labored and audible, letting them know she yet lived, but the decline worried them both.

"Do you think she'll become a Corpsewitch like Nina?" Tolya quietly asked.

"I don't know," Zoya replied. "But if she does, we have some idea of what that entails. She won't be alone."

Nikolai woke again, and Zoya helped him get a little more water down.

"We unfortunately don't have anything to eat," she told him.

"'M not hungry," he murmured. He looked down in confusion at the strange blanket covering him.

"We lost all our supplies and have had to make do," Zoya explained.

His gaze shifted back to her, and he seemed to finally register her dragon scale armor. Zoya felt his pulse jump. "The demon- it broke free…"

"Don't think about it," she interrupted, only to falter and then ask carefully, "Do you remember?"

His throat bobbed. "No. I don't remember much after they started giving me drugs." He turned his head to the side, spotting Tamar, and immediately stiffened. "Did I—" he choked out.

"No," Zoya quickly told him. "She took parem. She's going through withdrawal."

Nikolai's eyes widened and his breaths started coming in ragged gasps. Tolya hurried over and used his heartrending to calm him down before he could hurt himself or hyperventilate.

"Did Makhi dose her? What about you two?"

"Easy," Tolya coaxed, still using his power. "Don't get yourself worked up; you're in no shape for it. I was badly injured and Tamar took the drug so she'd be able to heal me."

Zoya snapped her gaze to him; she hadn't known about that part. But given how powerful the demon had been, Tamar might have taken parem anyway to subdue it without having to seriously hurt Nikolai. Or before he could seriously hurt or kill one of them.

"What about the antidote?" Nikolai asked, still distraught.

Zoya and Tolya shared hesitant looks, which Nikolai didn't miss now that he was becoming more lucid.

"What?" he asked fearfully. "What happened? What did the demon do?"

Zoya carded her fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him again. "Makhi dosed you with parem, and the demon was much stronger because of it. I had to turn into a dragon to fight it, and that's where you got the wounds from. But in the chaos, I lost the antidote I carried, and Tolya's was broken. Tamar's was the only one left."

Nikolai blanched. "No," he breathed and looked toward her again.

"It was her choice to give it to you," Tolya told him firmly. "You might not have changed back if we hadn't. Tamar is tough; if anyone can survive this, she can."

Nikolai squeezed his eyes shut, and there was nothing else Zoya or Tolya could say in that moment to help. Tolya went back to watch over his sister, and Zoya continued to hold Nikolai in her arms. After a while, he murmured,

"Are you hurt?"

"Tolya already tended my injuries," she replied. "He tried with yours but couldn't do much. As soon as we're able to travel, we'll get you back to Os Alta to skilled Healers."

Nikolai abruptly shuddered.

"Are you cold?" Zoya asked.

"No," he whispered, voice strained. He then frowned and looked up at her. "There was a lookalike at the palace when I was grabbed. What happened? What did he try to do?"

Zoya pursed her lips. She knew Nikolai wasn't fit to hear all those details right now, but she also didn't want to stress him by shrugging it off.

"He did try to kill me but failed," she settled on. "And the tailor job was beginning to wear off, so we knew it wasn't you."

Nikolai swallowed hard. "No one else was hurt?"

"No."

He waited another beat, then asked in a low voice, "And Makhi?"

Zoya grimaced but told him the truth. "The demon killed everyone in the lab."

He closed his eyes with a cringe at that. "She wanted the demon to come out. They tried- lots of methods," he finished quickly. "Before using parem. I tried to tell them not to do it."

"Makhi was cocky and she got herself killed," Zoya said firmly. "You are not at fault."

He let out a shaky breath. "I want to sit up."

Zoya wasn't sure that was a good idea yet, but she knew arguing would be pointless, so she carefully supported his weight and helped leverage him upright. The grass blanket pooled in his lap, and he went utterly still as his gaze dropped to his exposed chest and the smattering of black scars.

"I'm sorry, Nikolai," Zoya said softly.

She could see the tremble in his shoulders as he stared at them.

"How bad?" he croaked.

Her heart clenched yet again, and she wordlessly lifted an arm and angled it so the obsidian dragon scales caught his reflection. His expression was blank as he lifted a shaky hand to touch his cheek and eyebrow. Then he dropped his arm and looked away.

"I wonder what new title the people will have for me now," he muttered.

Zoya reached over to cup the side of his face and turn it back around, pressing a kiss to his mouth. One that was fervent and urgent, fueled by every ounce of fear and relief she had felt since discovering he was missing to finding him alive but tragically scathed. He leaned into her embrace, resting against her for a moment before he started to grow heavier, and she remembered he was still severely weakened by his ordeal.

"Do you want to sit next to Tamar?" she asked.

He nodded, so she helped him up onto shaky legs and braced him as he shuffled over to the tree where he could sit propped up against the trunk. Zoya then retrieved the blanket for him, tucking it in gingerly over one shoulder.

Nikolai reached out to take Tamar's lax hand. "How is she?"

"She's through the worst of it," Tolya said grimly. "Now we just have to wait for her to come out the other side."

Zoya stretched her legs and puttered around their campsite, then headed off to forage in the immediate vicinity. At least with her Durast abilities, she was able to make the berries she found on a bush ripen to the point of being edible. She picked as many as she could carry, only to stop when she heard noises not too far away. She ducked down in the foliage and spotted a troop of Shu soldiers spread out in a search formation. Someone called out they found tracks.

Mentally cursing, Zoya backtracked hurriedly. No doubt someone had spotted the dragon and demon fight in the sky and had reported it. She wondered if the soldiers had come across the khergud lab yet. Not that it mattered. The four of them were vulnerable, and Zoya wasn't taking any chances by trying to negotiate.

She jogged back into the campsite. "We have to move," she said urgently. "Shu soldiers are coming."

Tolya looked alarmed and quickly picked up an unconscious Tamar. Zoya went to Nikolai and heaved him up to lean against her. He could barely walk and didn't even have shoes, but they couldn't stay here. They left everything behind except the grass blanket draped around Nikolai's shoulders, as there wasn't time to dismantle the campsite. Of course, if the soldiers found it, they'd know to increase their search. But that couldn't be helped.

They went as quickly as they could, which wasn't fast at all. They would never be able to outpace the soldiers, so Zoya whipped her gaze around in search of a place to hide. She pulled up short at a large tree with roots half hanging over a squat scarp.

"Tolya," she hissed.

He pivoted and came back this way, and they all wedged their way in under the overhang into an alcove. Tolya pressed himself to the back, hunching over with Tamar pulled against his chest. Nikolai collapsed next to them. Zoya moved her hands, manipulating the roots into a thick weave that completely covered the opening. She peered through the tiny gaps, and then moved her hands to summon wind and smooth out the dirt to hide their tracks. Then they sat back and waited.

The Shu soldiers did come into the area, and Zoya tensed. She glanced back at Tamar, worried she might start making noises again, but she was completely out. The soldiers eventually moved on, but Zoya decided to stay put for a little while, just in case. It was cramped and uncomfortable, but she didn't want to set off again, especially when neither Nikolai nor Tamar were in any shape to be moved. As long as they weren't found, they had time.

At long last, Tamar finally woke, to everyone's relief. She had survived the parem withdrawal. But she was utterly wrecked from it and even weaker than Nikolai, so they continued to stay put.

Tamar lolled glazed eyes over at Nikolai and gave him a wan smile. "Welcome back," she rasped.

He gave her a pained smile in return. "You too."

Zoya and Tolya shared a silent look of their own. Nikolai and Tamar were alive, and that was an immense relief, but they were both far from okay. And Zoya knew the recovery that lay ahead of them was likely to be as much of a struggle as the fight to survive was.