Chapter 6
Tolya healed the cuts on Nikolai's feet before they got moving again, and Zoya pulled back the roots of their hiding spot. Then they crawled out of the alcove, Tolya and Zoya helping the other two. Nikolai was still in rough shape, but Tamar was a little worse. She leaned heavily against Tolya, and he had to keep one arm hooked firmly around her waist to hold her up. He'd carry her, except he knew if he offered she'd stubbornly decline.
It was slow-going through the woodland, but at least they didn't run into the Shu soldiers. They eventually passed a recognizable landmark that confirmed they were finally back on Ravkan soil. Not that it made them safe just yet, but it was encouraging. No one spoke. Tamar and Nikolai were too focused on keeping their feet, and neither Tolya nor Zoya knew what to say in the moment. There would be time to deal with the ramifications of everything, both physical and psychological, once they were safely back in Os Alta.
When they cleared the woodland and came upon the road, they were found by a troop of First Army soldiers.
"Moi tsaritsa," the captain said in surprise, taking a knee that the rest of his regimen copied.
"We need water, rations, and medical supplies," Zoya ordered.
"Yes, Your Highness."
Tolya and Zoya helped Tamar and Nikolai over to a clear spot on the ground where they could sit. Tolya immediately checked Nikolai's bare feet, which were all cut up again. As he healed them, Zoya also called for a change of clothes for her and Nikolai.
Everything was brought to them, and Tolya didn't miss the look of revulsion on the soldiers' faces when they saw Nikolai's scars. Nikolai himself seemed as though he wasn't paying attention, but Tolya knew him too well; he was aware of everything going on around him.
Tolya tried to heal his other wounds but could only get the bruises to fade; the deeper shoulder wound was going to need a more skilled Healer. So he and Zoya set to manually cleaning and bandaging it. Then Zoya slipped a plain shirt and trousers on over her dragon scale armor, and then the suit absorbed back into her skin.
She crouched in front of Nikolai again. "Do you need help getting dressed?" she asked quietly.
He flicked his gaze toward the soldiers huddled a distance away and casting him furtive looks.
"Come on," Tolya said, pulling him to his feet and then standing in front of him so as to block everyone's view.
Nikolai tried to dress quickly, though his hands were unsteady. Zoya wordlessly reached over to button the shirt for him, and then they helped him sit on the ground again. Though properly dressed now, the scars on his hands and face still stood out prominently. Zoya coaxed him into eating some of the rations, though he only nibbled on them.
Sounds of retching had Tolya twisting around and reaching for Tamar. He held her shoulders as she leaned away from them and threw up the little food she had tried to eat. When she was done, he pulled her back to lean against his chest. Her pallor was ashen, and even her lips seemed tinged with gray. Tolya looked worriedly at Zoya, wondering if the withdrawal wasn't as over as they'd thought.
Tamar reached up to weakly pat Tolya's arm. "'M still here," she said hoarsely.
He held her tighter. "Yes, you are."
They waited a little while before having her take a sip of water, but she made a face and spat it out.
"What is that?" she coughed.
Tolya frowned. "It's just water."
"Doesn't taste like it."
He didn't know what to say to that. "You're dehydrated and need fluids," he pressed.
She moaned and shook her head. "I can't keep it down."
Tolya relented and let her be.
The captain came over. "Moi tsaritsa, we cleared space in the back of a supply wagon for you."
"Thank you," Zoya said.
None of the soldiers seemed willing to get close enough to help them, so it fell to Tolya and Zoya to get Tamar and Nikolai into the wagon bed. It was cramped, but Tolya and Zoya sat with them. They were both also exhausted after everything.
The troop finally set off toward the capital. At this pace, it was going to take them a few days, and the accommodations weren't exactly great for two convalescing patients, but it was better than the four of them being stranded on their own.
As the hours passed, Tamar still couldn't keep anything down, and Tolya's worry was increasing. When they made camp for the night, he watched fretfully as she tried to eat again, but it wasn't even three minutes later that she was throwing it up in the bushes. He held her as her body violently expelled both food and water, and he continued holding her when it stopped and she was left shaking on the ground.
"I can't, Tolya," she croaked breathlessly. "I just can't."
He closed his eyes against a wave of dread and grief. This wasn't normal. Nina Zenik hadn't experienced this after her withdrawal. Tolya wanted to ask Tamar about her Grisha power, if it was changed the way Nina's had been. But she wasn't in any shape to experiment, and he figured they were both afraid of the answer.
When her stomach finally settled, Tolya helped her into the tent where Nikolai was already bedded down, though not yet asleep. He just watched them through bleary eyes as Tolya eased Tamar onto the pallet across from him. Zoya was off speaking with the captain.
Tamar slipped into a restless sleep quickly, and Tolya rocked back on the floor, crossing his legs and dropping his forehead against his palms. He hated seeing his sister like this and not being able to do anything to help her.
He raised his head and turned to Nikolai. "How are you holding up?"
"Fine," he said, voice wafer thin. He hesitated, looking as though he wanted to say something.
"Do you need anything?" Tolya asked.
Nikolai swallowed hard. "Could you…try healing the scars?"
Tolya's chest tightened. He knew it was unlikely, but he shifted closer and tried anyway. His heart sank when nothing happened. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Nikolai closed his eyes.
Tolya just sat there, watching over them until Zoya returned. Then they also bedded down for a sleepless night.
The following morning, Tolya watched nervously as Zoya offered Tamar breakfast. But she wrinkled her nose and turned her head away.
"No, I can't."
Tolya wrung his hands around his sheathed blade. He didn't know what to do. If Tamar couldn't get anything down, she was going to die. He'd tried using his power to see what was wrong, but he couldn't find anything that actually needed mending. Maybe the Healers at the Grand Palace would be able to help, since they were more skilled than he was.
They continued on their way, and Tolya spent the time praying to the Saints that Tamar would make it to Os Alta.
The journey was uneventful, until suddenly Nikolai cried out in pain, and talons erupted from his fingers and the merzost scars pulsed into his eyes, turning them black.
"Nikolai, what are you doing?" Zoya exclaimed.
The wagon came to a stop and the driver scrambled out of the seat. The other soldiers shifted nervously as well. Nikolai screamed again, lurching onto his hands and knees as the demon's wings punched through his back and snapped taut, clipping both Zoya and Tolya and knocking them out of the wagon. Then the demon was launching into the air and circling around. The soldiers jerked their rifles up and started shooting.
"Hold your fire!" Zoya yelled.
Tolya scrambled to his feet, hand going for his sword even as his mind screamed at him to stop, that this was Nikolai. But it wasn't. It was clear this was the feral demon in control right now as he swooped down at them, talons and fangs bared.
Zoya summoned up a gust of wind to knock him out of the sky, and he went crashing to the ground several yards away. Snarling, the demon spun around in the dirt and took aim at the soldiers, who responded with more weapons fire.
"Don't shoot!" Zoya bellowed again.
Tolya shot his hands out to use his heartrending to slow the demon down.
"Nikolai, gain control," Zoya urged.
But he either couldn't or didn't hear them, as the demon continued to fight its way toward prey.
Then Tamar was pushing herself up in the back of the wagon and moving her hands at him. The demon jerked and made a garbled noise, and wisps like shadows began rolling off it. The smoke swirled across the road and into Tamar as she somehow held the demon in place. Tolya gaped at them.
The demon gradually receded and Nikolai collapsed on the ground, human again. Tamar broke off her power with a gasp, and she was now flush with color and her eyes bright. Zoya ran to Nikolai, and Tolya snapped himself out of his stupor and hurried over as well. Nikolai was shuddering and gasping for breath, and Tolya reached out with his heartrending to calm his heart and lungs. Nikolai's eyes were wide with horror as he looked up at them. Tolya and Zoya shared a brief look. Neither had to say it; the demon breaking free like that was bad.
Zoya ran her hand over Nikolai's head. "You're okay now."
Tamar walked over, and Tolya blinked in amazement at how swiftly her condition had changed. She seemed completely recovered from the withdrawal and lingering sickness.
"Is he okay?" she asked worriedly.
Nikolai gave a jerky nod. "What was that?"
"It wasn't heartrending," Zoya said. "Or what Nina does."
Tamar looked just as clueless. "I don't know. I just…acted on instinct. But it felt…invigorating."
"You do look better," Tolya added. "Maybe you just needed to use your power to regain your strength."
Zoya looked a little perturbed by what happened but she didn't say anything more about it.
"Whatever it was," Nikolai said breathlessly, "it pushed the demon back down. So thank you."
Tolya was also grateful for that.
He bent down to help Nikolai up and back to the wagon. His borrowed shirt was now ripped in the back from the wings, and he stumbled heavily, significantly weaker than he had been this morning.
The soldiers hadn't lowered their rifles and continued to shift warily.
"Your Highness, that…thing—" the captain began.
"We have it under control," Zoya cut him off and shot a glare at the rest of the soldiers. "You will speak of this to no one."
Nikolai kept his head down as Tolya and Tamar helped him into the back of the wagon. Tolya knew he hated being a spectacle like this. They had spent so many months when the demon was new hiding him from that, and just when he had finally claimed victory over the demon within, all his hard work seemed to have been undone by the parem.
Tolya wished Makhi was still alive so he could enact vengeance upon her.
They made it back to Os Alta without any further incident. Tamar was looking a little tired again, but they were all exhausted. Genya and Nadia came hurrying out to meet them, both of them pulling up short at the sight of Nikolai.
"It's a long story," was all Zoya said to them. "Nikolai and Tamar need to be seen by Healers."
Nadia turned to Tamar worriedly, but Tamar just gave her a reassuring smile and kiss.
"I'm okay," she insisted.
They went to Nikolai's rooms where Zoya began to fill Genya and Nadia in on what all had happened.
"Parem?" Nadia repeated in horror.
"I'm fine now," Tamar replied. "A little changed, but alive."
They paused in their discussion as the Healers arrived. Nikolai fidgeted and looked distressed as he was examined, though he didn't say anything. They were able to fully heal the wound in his shoulder, but nothing could be done about the new scars. Genya even tried to tailor them, to no avail. The Healers also proclaimed Tamar was in overall good health, which reassured them all. After the Healers left, Zoya finished the tale with Nikolai's demon making a reappearance on the road. Everyone's eyes slid toward him at that, though he kept his gaze turned away and had remained conspicuously quiet throughout the entire recounting.
"You beat the demon before," Tamar told him. "You can do it again."
He still didn't say anything.
"What happens when Shu Han finds out Makhi is dead?" Nadia asked.
"Let them try to defend her actions," Zoya said with fire in her eyes. "Is the assassin still secure?"
Nadia nodded. "Adrik is standing guard now."
"This isn't really the time," Genya put in regretfully, "but the Fjerdans have been obstinate since you left. They've been accusing Ravka of not taking them seriously in negotiations if the queen won't deign to be present."
Zoya visibly bristled.
"I'm sorry," Genya added.
"It's not your fault," she quickly told her. "And thank you for not murdering any of them while I was away."
There was a knock at the door, and Nadia went to answer it.
"General Makarovich requests an audience with the queen, at once," the servant outside relayed.
"I bet he does," Zoya muttered.
"You should go," Nikolai finally spoke up.
Zoya looked hesitant at leaving him.
"I'll stay," Genya said.
Tolya didn't miss the grimace on Nikolai's face, though he didn't protest the need for a babysitter. With the demon now a real threat again, they shouldn't take chances.
"I'll stay too," he said.
So Zoya left. Tamar reached out to lightly tap Tolya's arm as she also left with her wife, leaving just the three.
"I'm tired," Nikolai said after an awkward moment. "I'm going to bed."
Tolya and Genya nodded and stayed out in the sitting room, both of them quiet and solemn under the gravity of everything that had happened recently.