"Can I see Mama today?"

Once more—somehow, he didn't know how and neither did anyone else—Marinette had survived. If Sabine was right and she had woken up, she wouldn't anymore. The doctors had rushed in the room within seconds after those alarms went off. Part of him was so grateful for their success in sustaining her life, but another part of him felt that what they did was cruel, especially given that she'd had four more heart attacks that same day.

And this had been two months ago. The doctors ruled her to be in a coma, needless to say. Something about her brain initially not getting enough oxygen for too long. The alarms would still go off on occasion, and when asked why this kept happening, the doctors couldn't provide any answer. They didn't know why her heart kept stopping or where the blood in her lungs kept coming from. They didn't know why she had regressed so suddenly when she was slowly recovering before. They told Sabine that Marinette's eyes opening was just a muscular reflex and that she had never been awake.

Everyone still visited her and everyone still talked to her, but a heavy sense of fear lingered over them. Marinette had since been moved back into the ICU, so visitations didn't last more than ten minutes at a time and there were more restrictions on what they could do and which gifts they could bring. She was, of course, back on life support. This time she was also given additional drugs meant to help remove the fluid in her lungs. If they were working, then they were only reducing those fluids, not completely removing them.

"Please, Adrien?"

And without a mother, he was left almost completely alone to take care of Erek, who had pained him every day by asking to see her. It never got easier to say no but at least the boy didn't cry about it anymore. He'd also stopped asking to go home, something he did frequently the first several days after leaving Alya. Adrien was eventually forced to explain that the snake destroyed his home, and that this was his home now. It had taken Erek a while to accept this but, finally, he was comfortable enough at Adrien's apartment to call it "his house."

Plagg was still extremely unhappy about Erek's presence here and called Adrien out numerous times for not searching for another family—but how could he search for another family knowing Marinette was ten minutes down the road struggling to either live or die? He promised her everyone would be okay, and to him that included her son.

"Let me see Mama today."

"She's still very sick," Adrien replied. "She wouldn't want you to see her yet."

"She won't have to know. I promise I won't tell."

"Well…she's sleeping right now—"

"She's always sleeping though."

"That's just because she's tired. You know how we all get tired when we're sick. She needs lots of rest to feel better."

Erek pouted.

"Mama always sees me when I'm sick…" the boy muttered.

Well, yeah, she worked from home and took care of him…

"Why do you get to see her but not me?"

And that was precisely why, between Sabine, Tom, Alya, and Nino, Adrien had been the one to see her the least.

"I just want to see if she woke up yet, that way she can see you."

He seriously considered just bringing him to see his mother once. One time only to show Erek that she couldn't play with him or talk to him or read him a story…or anything of that nature. He wanted the boy to know that nobody was waiting for him at the hospital. Just a room with a corpselike woman hooked up to every machine imaginable. A heartbreaking, but very real, sight. Nothing any child should ever see.

Erek sighed and walked over to the coffee table in front of the TV to finish coloring a picture of a puppy. He definitely inherited Marinette's knack for creativity, with the dog basically being five or six unnatural colors that were somehow still organized on the page, but it was sloppy and coloring inside the lines didn't seem to interest him.

Adrien briefly wondered if Erek would want to be some sort of designer or artist like his mother when he was older.

He felt Plagg violently tap him with his little kwami paw and went inside his room, leaving Erek to his own devices.

He was met with a pair of green eyes the moment the door closed, Plagg having zipped out of his jacket.

"What's wrong?" he groaned…knowing Plagg would only risk an appearance in front of another person in the event of an akuma attack.

Unfortunately, Hawk Moth hadn't relented on those. He was still making new monsters to terrorize the city and Adrien hadn't given up Chat Noir. The thought of abandoning Paris and jeopardizing whatever safety they had kept bringing him back to Ladybug's disappearance and it had affected both the citizens' everyday life and his own ability to fight. It wasn't as much of a struggle anymore but still…

"Check the Ladyblog…" Plagg said flatly.

"No akumas or an akuma sighting?"

"Just do what I tell you for once."

He sighed and picked up his phone—something he kept either on his person or exclusively in his room so Erek wouldn't see it if Marinette…passed on. That would be a difficult conversation to have and it would be far worse to find out through a text message or phone call than having someone sit down and talk about it.

He got on the internet and the Ladyblog was already pulled up. Still more dedicated to Chat Noir, Alya had reformatted the Ladyblog yet again. New features. One of them, akuma sighting alerts with options for videos, pictures, and GPS locations. Others, miscellaneous crimes in other tabs with the same options. It wasn't a big change but it was a huge improvement to the site. Plagg must've seen the update.

"Look at the last tab," Plagg said. "Notes for Chat Noir."

He saw it once Plagg pointed out where it was. It was a locked tab, available only to verified site members. He had already signed up so he could easily log in and keep track of the notifications and streams from Alya, but he rarely needed them. Now he was thankful that he bothered himself with it.

This tab had both messages for Chat Noir and questions, both separated into different subgroups with the ability to start threads. A secondary feature was viewing videos specifically from this section, but only from Alya or approved videos uploaded by site members.

"Ignore the crime reports—"

"I can't just ignore crime reports, Plagg!"

"Would you just do it?! Look at some of the videos!"

He growled in disapproval but clicked on the video tab. As expected, most were from Alya, but a few managed to catch his eye based on their thumbnails.

"Is…is that…"

"Yup…"

One of them was a very shaky video, like the person was running while they took it. He could see the snake even through the unclear camera, and there was Ladybug's silhouette. She had propelled herself at him with her yo-yo, and in a moment of lightning, her red suit was flashed to the world. She slammed her entire body into him as he was about to prepare his cataclysm and as they fell off the roof he was on, they disappeared behind the buildings. The camera then turned to the shocked face of Alya. Her words were hard to make out in the noise of the rain, but she was saying something about Ladybug. There were multiple comments below this video from people he didn't know. Some of them reported seeing the same thing, and that surely it must be her and she had come back to fight again. Others had a much different perception of this character, saying that just because there was one person in a red suit, it didn't mean this was automatically Ladybug, and instead could've been another akuma victim—because why would Ladybug ever interrupt his cataclysm during a battle against an akuma? Especially one he'd faced before that proved to be extremely dangerous? Some others were attacking Alya, demanding more evidence of her claims. Some wholeheartedly supported her.

It was like being on social media…

Another video wasn't Alya's and didn't show the person's face, but it did show him roaming aimlessly in the storm, his form barely made out in the dark. Obviously the comments connected to this video were directed at him this time, and he had to admit some were kind of hurtful…

Ladylover: lol r u kidding me?!

LadyBlogFan123: The savior of Paris everyone.

Runawaayyyyy: Why is he just walking around?

PopperTop: uhhhh he does realize the whole city is being demolished right

Neenja: what is he looking for

Cotton Eye Joe: #Neenja his brain lol

Theawesomebanana: #Cotton Eye Joe what brain?

SumbodyOnceToldMe: #Neenja He did this last time too!

A Doggo: #SumbodyOnceToldMe no last time he looked for a kid

SumbodyOnceToldMe: #A Doggo Oh…

LongLive Flowerz: i think kitty cats losing it

Cybertractor: Chat be like "Nah we good."

Babycakes: Nice day for a stroll.

HawkSucksMoth: no please, take your time we can wait

FlippityFlop: #HawkSucksMoth We DID wait.

Adrien frowned and stopped reading the comment section. Some of them stung but they weren't…entirely wrong… And he didn't know how to tell everyone the whole story. Of course he kept up with the Ladyblog, he was pretty sure everyone knew it, but he didn't have time for a proper interview with Alya to correct this. Between modeling, patrolling, fighting akumas, taking care of Erek, and trying to see Marinette when he could, he didn't have much free time.

He decided to watch one more video that he thought he was prepared for…and one that really made him angry.

It started with a tiny figure some distance away, with the only background noise being heavy, panicked breathing. Barely any motion, just a slightly shaky hand. The video zoomed in on Chat Noir, Marinette lying unconscious on the ground with blood around her head. Blood that kept trickling down her cheeks with each chest compression he gave her. He assumed he had looked calm and collected but seeing himself on the Ladyblog, it was clear he was panicking. The video showed him calling for help but the person just stood there, perhaps too terrified to move but regardless, did not come to his aid when he was busy with a screaming child and resuscitating a dying woman that most people would immediately assume was the boy's mother.

Finally, the video showed Alya entering the screen, running to him as fast as she could before dropping to her knees at the sight.

He couldn't resist reading these comments, primarily aimed at the person who posted the video. Most of them were vicious attacks, others questioning why this person refused to help. Chat Noir's previous blunder seemed to be forgotten about. The person who posted this was deemed cowardly and useless to society by other Ladyblog members. Only one comment implied that the user was relieved to see Chat Noir being able to save a girl's life that day. If only they knew the truth…

He ignored other videos after that and dropped his head. He was about to toss his phone onto the bed but felt it vibrate. A text message from someone. It was probably about Marinette… The only reason anyone texted him anymore was to update him on Marinette… And… He didn't want to hear that kind of news right now… He wanted to cling to hope a little while longer…

"You only watched three videos…" Plagg said.

"Yeah, of me failing again. Thanks, Plagg…really needed to see that."

"No, I meant you didn't watch enough videos," the kwami clarified. "And the ones you watched were some of the worst. There are good ones on there too. People still support Chat Noir. You're still a hero to them. You didn't fail."

"Think what you want. All I did was build a reputation as a hero back when Ladybug was still by my side. That's the thing people are remembering. They're not thinking about all the people that got hurt."

"Maybe not but…they are thinking about Chat Noir. Even without Ladybug you've remained a symbol of hope."

"A symbol of destruction."

Plagg took a frustrated breath and stared at his phone.

"I have good news and bad news," Plagg said. "What do you want to hear first?"

"Just give me the bad news…get it over with…" he muttered despondently.

"Marinette's lungs have a ton of micro tears on them. They're trying to heal but the pressure from the blood flow is keeping the wounds open. There's a much larger tear on one of her lungs. She's in surgery now to close them all up. But the doctors aren't sure about the surgery. Basically, whatever is doing this to her body shredded her lungs and it's causing too much strain on her heart."

"And the result is recurring heart failure, which makes the surgery risky," he finished. "And the good news?"

"We'll find out in a few days if the surgery is a success, and if it is, Marinette's chances of recovery will be sky high. She might even wake up soon."

He looked over at his kwami and set his jaw.

Plagg frowned.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy about this?"

"No, Plagg, of course I'm not!" he growled. "Let's assume Marinette makes it through the surgery and it's successful. Let's assume she wakes up. She won't be able to breathe normally ever again and she'll suffer later and end up right back in the hospital!"

"And what, you'll be happier if she died instead?"

He hung his head. "No…but…death is a mercy for her… When she seemed in the clear a few months ago and then went back into cardiac arrest, I really do think she was trying to let go. But we weren't ready for that. We forced her to come back. I was the first to do that to her."

"Kid, you don't know what she wants," Plagg said. "It's true her body is really weak but just because it's having a hard time keeping up, that doesn't translate to a death wish."

"I don't know…"

"Look, hospitals have something called a DNR—Do Not Revive. If she wakes up and signs a DNR, the doctors won't try to save her next time something happens and that's how you know for sure that…she's ready to go," Plagg explained.

It made sense and he knew about DNRs already—he was technically prohibited from reviving anyone wearing the DNR bracelet or necklace—but he didn't know if he had the mental fortitude to just let somebody die. Thankfully, he had never come across such a situation, but if he ever did, he was Chat freaking Noir. He doubted he would ever be able to follow those instructions.

"How did you even know about all this with Marinette?"

"Oh. Alya sent a text. It showed up on your phone but you didn't check it."

He heard a knock on his door followed by, "Come look at my picture!"

Plagg immediately hid in Adrien's jacket and he stepped outside his room, this time with his phone in hand for updates on Marinette's surgery. If the tears in her lungs were small but abundant, he could imagine it taking a while. He felt the same sense of sadness and guilt beginning to crush his spirits again. What was worse, though, was that he couldn't show any sign of negativity in front of Erek. Especially not about Marinette, because as far as Erek knew, she would be okay and they would get a new home and everything would go back to the way it was.

Did Marinette feel this way too? Did she think that if she acted okay, he would believe nothing bad was going on? Did she really think she would be able to power through her illness by pretending to be happy no matter what?

Erek shoved a piece of paper in Adrien's face and he took it from the boy, looking it over and acting so impressed.

"I think every time you color something, it somehow gets better. You must be a natural artist!"

The compliment didn't go overlooked and Erek beamed at his skills, deciding to drag Adrien over to his coloring book. The back pages were blank and Erek had used them to draw his own little creations.

Most of them were Chat Noir—it wasn't even close to the first time he'd seen these kinds of pictures from the boy. As he flipped through the book, some were also of Marinette and a person he assumed to be the father, holding hands as a family. It was…saddening. He hoped Erek already knew this would never happen. Still others were random pictures of trees, animals, and…oddly, some had whole fields of flowers or bouquets in a vase. He'd never seen any little boy draw something like that before.

"Wow! I don't think I've ever seen pictures this good before! Are you sure you drew these?" Adrien asked suspiciously, raising a brow and looking directly at Erek.

"I drew all of those and…" He jerked Adrien's arms down and pointed to the pages he had colored in. "…I didn't draw these ones but I made them super colorful."

"Indeed you did…"

The dogs, cats, kids, cars, and everything else were all rainbow-colored. Was this just a kid thing or…? The longer he looked at it, the more his eyes hurt. Like being attacked with bright colors in bright lighting. The sun itself would be so proud of this little boy.

"I usually color dogs red and I color cats blue," he said.

"Oh, yeah? Why did you change them now?"

Hopefully it didn't have anything to do with Adrien. He wanted the boy to feel comfortable here, to not feel like anything had to change and he could be himself.

"Mama loves colors," he answered. "She always feels better when I draw stuff for her."

"Oh…"

"And when I go see her, I can show her my pictures and she can come home."

"Y-Yeah...yeah, that'll be a good day."

"I made her a scarf once," the boy continued. "She helped me."

He imagined that Erek was allowed to pick out the fabric for the scarf but probably wasn't allowed to do anything beyond that.

How would he be able to tell Erek that his mother may never see his pictures? And that she may never wear his scarf again?

A/N

Still teetering on the edge of life and death and scraped by yet again...but HOW? O-O And how much longer can she hold out?

*For some reason this site refuses to support the tab button or multiple spaces to make it look like a tab...so the comments, which had tabs like a normal thread (on Mic Word, anyway), are just going straight down and I apologize. It also won't support the "at" special character to tag users in normal threads. I had to use a hashtag. So sorry about that. :(