Oh.
Kazuma just stared at the gift in disbelief. He'd been convinced that the pervsader would be giving him something more along the lines of a kiss or a lap dance, but this was entirely unexpected.
"I had commissioned this from the armorer a while back. After your first suit of plate proved to be so… unwieldy, I figured something strong but lightweight would be a better fit. It's not quite mithril but it should do the job."
Lightweight was an exaggeration, surely. The shirt of chainmail he held before him was already starting to cause his arms to ache. Maybe it'd be better once he slipped it on?
He tossed his cape on the crusader's bed and slipped it on. The armor's weight was far less burdensome than he'd thought now that he'd slipped it on. He twisted and turned with it before giving the crusader a satisfied thumbs up.
"You did well, Lalatina! A perfect fit."
She buried her face in her hands. "Even now you seek to shame me? Is your hunger so unrelenting?"
He paid her comments no mind and donned his adventurer's cape once more, eager to strut his stuff around town.
Adventurers and townspeople alike both stared at Kazuma as he made his way to the guild. Now wearing kit that looked like it cost more than a few hundred Eris and no longer weighed down by the burden of virginity, he practically oozed the confidence of a veteran.
He tossed open the guild doors with a smug grin and walked over to the service desk. "Got any updates for me?"
Luna dug around the mess of paperwork on her counter before looking up at him. "Nothing about when they'll get here but…"
She motioned for him to lean in. "It's looking like it'll be a billion eris, split between all of your party members."
A billion Eris…
The mere thought left him smiling stupidly. A whole billion, even half of that split four ways would cover his needs for the foreseeable future.
A tap on the shoulder took him out of his daydream. "Kazuma Satou?"
The adventurer ignored it, too lost in the thought of what he'd buy with the veritable mountain of coin that'd be coming in.
A more firm tap. "Excuse me."
Annoyed, Kazuma turned to greet the nuisance. The familiar sight of one of the town guards greeted him. To his shock, the soldier gave him a salute before speaking.
"Pardon the interruption, Sir Kazuma, but we need your help."
The party sat huddled in one of the town's watchtowers, eyeing their prey. A nest of crocodile eggs had been spotted by a sentinel, along with the fearsome parents of these delicate creatures. Left unchecked, they could pose a serious threat to ranchers and farmers living outside the town walls. Debuff from the Demon King's death or not, these scaled predators could chomp through beginners like nobody's business. With scales as thick as roof tiles the town guard didn't have much ranged recourse as well. With so much easier work up for grabs it made sense why no one was willing to take the government's quest.
While both he and Aqua had been in firm opposition to taking on the job, the town guardsman had made it clear that the governor was aware of his incoming reward and eager to find an excuse to tax it. Doing this as "community service" would help him keep his tax exempt status for at least a little while. That also meant that payment would be provided in the form of a thank you note.
With at least a dozen of the fearsome adult crocs snoozing around their brood, their offensive options were fairly limited. An explosion from Megumin would clean everything up in mere seconds, but the close proximity to the town wall made such a move dangerous.
The Crusader was the first to speak. "Kazuma, I've got an idea! I could use decoy and lure them away while you and Aqua destroy the eggs."
It sounded feasible enough. Darkness was sturdy enough to hold her own against mid-level critters, but he doubted she'd just run laps around the nest while they did their work. If anything she'd find an excuse to get chomped on. Plus, Aqua was more likely to pocket some of the eggs to grow her own pet collection. There was also no telling if decoy would be enough to keep them from turning around once we started turning their offspring into omelets.
"That'll be our backup plan." He said while sticking out a thumb to measure the distance from the nest to the wall.
There's no way in hell I'm getting anywhere close to that death trap.
No, he had a far better idea up his sleeve. Megumin could control her explosions, yes, but with so many points reinvested into increasing its power, even the most restrained blast she could produce would still put the baseline explosion spell to shame. Add to that her natural magical affinity and the blast was made even more potent.
But Kazuma? He had basically no magical affinity. Even with elite quality manatite his spells struggled to meet that of a standard mage. He'd just taken the entry level explosion skill. With his lackluster ability he could potentially blast the nest without scratching the town.
The team had been looking at him expectantly.
"I'm blowing it up."
Megumin's face contorted between excitement, love, and anger at this new development. She wasn't very keen on being outsourced, but for him maybe she'd make an exemption.
"Yeah, I suppose a spell caster as weak as yourself could probably do so safely from this distance. Knock 'em dead Kazuma!" The goddess nodded approvingly, eager to avoid her past tormentors.
"V-Very well, we can follow my plan should this fail…" Darkness sulked.
Their mage thrust her staff into his arms. "One who wishes to wield the most sacred magic should use tools befitting it! Go forth, Kazuma, embrace the warmth of explosion magic!"
He gave the wizard a soft pat on the head before pointing the staff towards the mass of overgrown reptiles.
"Darkness blacker-"
Megumin grabbed his sleeve and shook him in disapproval. "I'm flattered you'd use my chant, but as a student of explosions you must craft your own. Go on, Kazuma, funnel your soul into it!"
Shit. What now?
He wracked his brain trying to put together something cool enough to impress the mage but not so cringe inducing that Aqua and Darkness would forever torment him. God, he was starting to sweat already.
"A-Alright, uh…"
Bright Crimson eyes looked on eagerly. He wouldn't be getting out of this. Hell, if he chickened out now there'd be no end of teasing for that as well. There was no other option but to double down and do as the Crimson Demons do.
He posed like one of the shonen characters he'd read about and shouted, "My name is Kazuma Satou! Slayer of the Demon King and apprentice of explosion magic! Mere monsters they may be, but they shall not be spared my righteous fury. Hear me from the pits of hell, Demon King, for today I smite another with the same force that sealed your fate! EXPLOSION!"
For all his bravado, it all culminated in a pint-sized blast. From the modest smoke cloud, it looked like it'd been right on target. He moved towards the edge to try and get a better look only to collapse like a dead fish. No commotion or shock filled the tower as his vision faded to black, it seems like everyone but him had already predicted this outcome.
Kazuma came to in the barracks infirmary. He felt unbelievably exhausted, borderline on par with how he'd felt after dueling the Demon King. He flipped over to his side and tried to get a better look at his surroundings. Candle lit cobblestone surrounded him and the noise of soldiers bantering could be heard in the distance.
"Not so easy, huh?"
His head moved towards the voice. A familiar mage was sitting next to his cot, idly flipping through a book. Another quick scan revealed that it was just the two of them in the cramped room.
"Your verdict?" He asked in between yawns.
"For a Crimson Demon? 10 points."
Ouch. "And for a mere adventurer like myself?"
She put her book aside and knelt down next to him. "For you? A hundred points."
With that, she planted a gentle kiss on his lips. Kazuma, now flustered, could only look away as his face heated up.
The mage held his hand and placed it against her chest. "Come now Kazuma, I'm feeling exceedingly generous today. Take some of my MP while you have the opportunity."
That reminded him of something painfully obvious. He'd been planning on using drain touch on one of them after unleashing his spell, but he never stopped to consider if he'd even be physically able to move. Something new to keep in mind.
He began to activate the skill but found himself hesitating. "You know, if I take even the tiniest bit then you won't be able to go on with your daily routine. I, ah, I know how much you love it. Why don't you just let me rest here for tonight?"
"Do you take me for a fool? I'm aware of the sacrifice involved. Now take what's yours." She pressed the hand more firmly against her flesh.
This woman…
Kazuma may have been a lifelong NEET with few friends and even fewer women in his life, but even he knew that this warm, fuzzy feeling was love.
He helped himself to the bare minimum amount of MP needed to get himself up and swung an arm around the arch-wizard to support himself.
"Come now, apprentice. Let's meet up with the others."