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Chapter 17

The First Look 2

Edward

We went back downstairs and Bella was still frozen in her stubborn stance, only now she had sat up straighter and put her foot demonstratively on the floor. But there was absolutely no weight on her injured foot.

I smiled to myself.

She would not allow herself to be treated without further ado. Especially not by me. But I wouldn't give her a choice.

"It doesn't hurt anymore. You can go!" she prompted me petulantly.

But it spoke only her stubbornness. She was still a martyr, willing to endure pain without complaint. And her request for me to leave was nothing more than self-protection, as not to have to admit to her ankle weakness. Unless she spoke those words with conviction, I certainly would not do her that favor.

I sat down across from her on the couch table and grabbed her ankle, which she naturally tried to pull away. I barely touched her, but still, she could not escape my grip. I gently pressed on the exact spot in the joint that she had twisted.

"Ouch ...!" Bella cried out.

"So much for it not hurting anymore ... Hold still or I'll take you to the hospital. Whether you like it or not!" I replied defiantly.

She snorted contemptuously, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and sharply looked to the side, but let me help her. At some point, her gaze slid back to me and it seemed to soften as I gently massaged in the appropriate ointment while looking at her.

Of course, I was careful not to cause her any pain.

I found that I had to correct my first assumption as I looked at her more closely.

That was no longer the face of an innocent angel. The day after tomorrow, Bella would turn thirty-seven, and her face couldn't deny that. Youth could be discerned in her features. No innocence. Small laugh lines at the corners of her eyes supported this impression, as did the distinguished pallor of her skin. She was graceful. It was the flawless face of a goddess. Dark blue still looked stunning on her and her dress showcased her body skillfully but not revealingly. I sank into the liquid chocolate of her eyes, into the perfection of her facial expressions, while eavesdropping on the most beautiful song in the world: the interplay of her restless breath and her racing heart.

It had taken me some time to remember what it was I was actually doing here and to turn my attention back to her injured foot. The last remnants of the ointment had already dried on my fingers. Afterwards I put on an ankle brace, with which Bella could also perform a little again.

"That looks really professional," Becky complimented my work, sitting next to Bella on the sofa.

Right in front of Jake, who was very careful that I didn't offend or harm his mother.

"Not surprising!" replied Bella, still being stubborn. "He's a doctor."

"What? But you're ...? What about the blood?" asked Becky curiously.

I smiled.

"That is definitely a problem. I studied medicine, but I have never treated anyone except Bella - and then only such injuries. But my father practices as a doctor here at the hospital."

"Wow ..." she replied and was amazed by it. However, she considered driving to the Portland hospital the next time it was necessary.

"Your concern is really quite unfounded. Carlisle barely perceives a human's blood. Even when people arrive in the emergency room in pieces, the smell of blood doesn't tempt him," I reassured her.

She was honestly impressed, and you could really be of Carlisle.

A question was now belatedly seeping into Becky's consciousness. "How ...?" she began, but did not know how to ask.

„I can hear your thoughts." I was somewhat surprised that Becky was not aware of this little fact, as I had gathered from her thoughts that she was aware of pretty much everything else essential.

That completely threw her. She went through all our previous encounters and tried to remember what I had heard, although she realized much too late that I was hearing it all now, at the latest. She was visibly embarrassed and blushed at what I had heard in her head about Jake.

But she really didn't have to be embarrassed for that.

"You don't have to be ashamed of anything ... He's thinking the same things," I explained to her with an understanding smile, pointing my head in Jake's direction.

'Really?' she now asked in her thoughts.

"Really!" I confirmed emphatically.

Her eyes immediately slid to Jake, who by now had understood what Becky had just been worried about. They took each other's hands and Jake slid onto the sofa behind Becky to put his arms around her. They lovingly looked at each other.

And I looked at Bella.

It could hardly be avoided with these enthusiastic thoughts of the two that I sought her gaze again. She looked very satisfied with the returned love for her son.

Then she averted her eyes from the happy couple - to me, of course, I was sitting directly in front of her - and immediately Bella's gaze turned defiant again.

Not angry, pained or sad. Only defiant.

But I just smiled at her charmingly.

She could have known that this patty posturing didn't work with me. It never had before, but I thought it was adorable every time she tried, even then.

After I washed my hands and Becky regained her composure, she now asked me all kinds of questions about vampires. The Q&A session went on for a long time, and Jake and Leah had become equally curious by then. All three viewed my hands extensively, frightened at first by the cold, looking for a non-existent structure of the skin and squeezing and pawing at them.

I smiled patiently and let it go.

At some point, I reached out my hand to Bella.

She had endeavored not to let her own curiosity show, but I had still seen through her. Bella hadn't touched me in nineteen years and had very likely long forgotten how I felt to her.

She gave me a condescending look, but the curiosity was stronger. Carefully she palpated the back of my hand.

I thought I felt an electric shock when she touched my skin with her tiny fingers.

She turned my hand, stroking my skin with her dainty fingers, and I began to stroke her hand with mine. Our fingers gently played with each other as our gazes found each other and never let go.

I could have sat there for ages, but not a minute later the front doorbell rang.

Bella seemed surprised at who had arrived uninvited at this hour. It was already ten o'clock in the evening and long dark outside. Courtesy visits were rather unusual at this hour.

Leah went to the front door and peered cautiously through the peephole.

I recognized a man through her eyes.

"Um ... Mom," Leah began hesitantly, and Bella turned to her. "Andrew is here!?" she added indecisively.

I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement. Who was Andrew?

Immediately I let go of Bella's hand.

Was she not alone after all? Had my longing made me overlook, in the children's minds, the fact that she had a husband? My small hope collapsed.

"What?" asked Bella, however, upset.

She did not seem pleased about the visit.

"Bella?" we heard Andrew call impatiently from outside, which I took note of disapprovingly.

"Did you forget to tell him you didn't want to see him again?" Jake asked, teasing his mother, which brightened my thoughts again.

"Damn it," Bella immediately cursed. "I knew I forgot something!"

We left them alone and went to the terrace, but of course I eavesdropped on this Andrew's thoughts.

I had no reason to stay with Bella if her children cleared the field. Bella looked twenty years older than me, but I appeared the same age as her children. I could hardly make anyone understand I was interested in her and I wasn't visiting my school friends without it having societal consequences for Bella. But I was still jealous, even if for no obvious reason.

This Andrew was a man like any other. Mid to late thirties. Not ugly, but also not a feast for the eyes and of average intelligence. Actually, already boring. And nice. Way too nice. He could well be called naive. Why was a confident woman like Bella dating someone like that?

Bella tried to be brave, not to offend him too much, but Andrew just seemed to get on her nerves more and more.

I inevitably chuckled and Jake, Becky, and Leah looked at me curiously. So, I told them what was happening in the living room right now.

We laughed together until he finally left.

"I have to go home," Becky then explained a little sadly. She would have liked to stay with Jake longer, unmistakably forever, though he was no different.

"How would Madame like to be taken home?" inquired Jake, taking her lovingly in his arms and going over the various options for himself. On foot, car, motorcycle. He quickly dismissed the thought that she could ride on his wolf back as silly.

But that's exactly what Becky suggested. Jake's eyes lit up with joy that she had accepted his nature so well.

Leah then declared that she was going to stop by her boyfriend's house until Jake was back and then they could run their usual laps. She hoped to catch Ben half-naked again.

Jake looked at me suspiciously, considering whether he could leave his mother alone with me.

He wasn't sure and, God knows he didn't trust me.

Leah had also thought about it briefly, but came to a different conclusion.

She was sure that I had not lied to them this morning. That I could never hurt Bella.

She placed a reassuring hand on her brother's arm and looked him squarely in the eyes, thinking how nothing would happen.

Jake nodded.

I was a little confused. I was the mind reader, not them.

We went back into the house and the kids said goodbye to Bella after Jake looked me in the eyes and warned me again in thoughts.

Facing Bella, I sat down next to her on the sofa and looked at her.

"You have amazing kids!" I said softly. That's what they really were.

"Yes ... They are. Both of them," she declared with conviction, looking after them with obvious pride.

"Thank you, Bella," I stated honestly and humbly after a moment of leaving Bella in her sentimental thoughts and then tenderly taking her hand in mine.

"For what?"

"For opening the door to me."

"What are you doing here?" she now asked cautiously after taking one deep breath.

"You'll have to figure that out on your own," I whispered. I wouldn't tell Bella what she meant to me. Not yet. I had made this decision during the evening. At our parting in the clearing, I had betrayed our love and Bella had not doubted my words. Accordingly, she had lived the past nineteen years believing that I did not want her and was seeking distraction. Telling her that I had always loved her, however, was in direct opposition to my actions. She had no reason to believe me now and rely on my word. She distrusted me and probably also my family. This trust had to be earned back. Even if I might not deserve it, considering what she had had to suffer because of me. But there were two arguments that justified my leaving after the fact that even Bella could not deny: Jake and Leah. If I had stayed, a friendship between her and Jacob Black very likely would not have developed as intensely and she would not have been able to give life to both of them.

"You should go to bed, it's late for humans," I said willfully mothering her, which didn't suit her. I didn't want to have too deep a conversation with her today. She should first get used to the thought that I wanted to see her more often. There was still enough time for her to yell at me.

"I'm not a little kid anymore. I know what is good for me," she answered defiantly but yawned extensively.

"How was that?" I teased her and she smacked me in the shoulder. "Try standing up on your foot, but don't overdo it. It's sprained, so don't over-exert yourself!" I prompted her, already standing in front of her, holding out a hand for her to pull herself up from the sofa.

She swayed and did not trust my perfect support bandage.

Well, yes. I blamed myself for their wavering. I was standing too close to the sofa and therefore too close to her. She had no chance to stand firmly on her own feet. I was beside myself for a few seconds, unable to move, while I enjoyed the moment with my eyes closed to every fiber of my senses.

I had involuntarily put a hand on her side as she pulled herself up from the sofa.

Our bodies were separated by only centimeters and I felt her warmth all over. Her lovely smell hit me full force and was immediately intoxicating.

Her blood sang for me. Still! I sought the thought of wanting to taste her. The desire that used to be my constant companion. It was no longer there! Instead, I had many other ideas about what I wanted to do with Bella.

"How are you going to get up the stairs like that?" I teased her once I got myself back under control and lifted her up in my arms. Very close to my body to continue to enjoy as much of her as I could.

"Would you please put me down! Now!" she prompted me indignantly.

"No," I said quietly and took my time as we went. I had left the door to her bedroom open earlier and now set her down carefully on her bed. "Do you need anything else from downstairs?" I inquired.

"My cell phone. In my purse," she mumbled more than she said it.

She hated being dependent on outside help. Nothing had changed in that.

I quickly ran downstairs. I had seen the bag earlier and found the phone immediately. I took a look at her phone's contacts and memorized Jake's and Leah's numbers. They could definitely come in handy, even if I only asked them if I was inconvenienced.

After all, Bella had her own life. She had a job, friends, and parental or societal responsibilities. Of course, I also looked up Bella's phone number. And then I took the ointment from the living room table back upstairs.

Back in her room, I handed her cell phone to her.

"Thank you," she whispered, then I put the tube back in the cabinet in the bathroom. Among everything else.

"Do you need any more help, or can you manage on your own?" I asked calmly, already knowing the answer. However, I was curious what the tone of her voice would be. I suspected ... stubborn.

"No, thanks. I'll be fine," she surprised me with a grateful tone.

I walked slowly towards her, lowered myself to my knees in front of her and took Bella's hands in mine.

"Will you allow me to come back?" I asked, endeavoring not to make it sound pleading, looking up at those beautiful eyes.

I would not do anything without her consent. Okay, so I lied to myself about that. After all, I had already treated her against her will, resisted her request to leave, and carried her up here. In all fundamental things, I would not do anything without her consent, I corrected myself.

"But you won't tell me what you want!" she stated, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Aside from the fact that you're still one of the most interesting people I know, no," I smiled at her.

"If you want to be bored so badly, please," she ridiculed my request.

"Thank you, Bella ... Here is something for you," I said and pulled a folded sheet of paper out of my back pants pocket. I had written this in Carlisle's study this afternoon and it was a list of my family's cell phone numbers. Except Samantha's, of course.

She took the sheet from me and I let my hands fall on her legs as a matter of course. Carefully she unfolded the sheet and then was taken aback.

"Esmé ... Carlisle ... Alice ..." she read, lost in thought.

"In case you want to bore the others as well. They would love to hear from you. Except for Carlisle, no one yet knows you're here though, and he won't visit unless you invite him to," I explained calmly.

"No one knows?" she asked incredulously.

"Do you seriously think I could stop Alice from coming here if she knew you were here?" I teased her and she smiled at me. She was so enchanting when she smiled honestly.

I rose from the floor and let my fingertips drive in a natural motion along the skin of her forearm to her hand, which I ever so lightly held. My other hand gently went to the side of her neck to lift her gaze to me.

She shivered.

Not from cold, I was sure.

"I won't tell anyone about you unless you specifically allow it. Whether you let us participate in your life is entirely your decision. But know this, Bella, the ENTIRE family has missed you," I spoke soulfully and gave her confused, adorable face a kiss on her forehead.

I looked into her eyes for a moment, waiting until her heartbeat returned to normal, before I left the room at a human pace and smiled at her again from the doorway.

Carefully I closed the door and leaned myself against it with my back for yet another moment. I took one deep breath with my eyes closed.

What I would give to hear her thoughts now!

Thanks for reading!