Once upon a time, the hifuu club was carried up to Heaven by a friendly god they knew.

If I had written something like at any point during my life in the Outside world it would have been a silly daydream at best and more likely a sign of a delusional break with reality. Nonetheless, that was was exactly what we were experiencing.

The tranquil beauty that we observed upon breaking through the upper limit of the scarlet cloud was the sort of thing that no picture could ever do justice to. Here, on the page of this novel, I have even less ability to convey to you the awe and calm of that place. With a picture, at least I could be sure that you saw what I saw, though without the context of the smells, the sunlight, the feel of the air or the sounds of faint music you wouldn't be able to truly appreciate it as we did.

With only my written words to guide you, I might hope that, had I the mind of a poet, I could convey to you the transcendent splendor of the scene. But even then, I could never be sure that the image you envisioned in your mind would match up with even an image of the reality that I witnessed. As the poor, sad excuse for a Watson that I am , however, I simply do not have any of the means necessary to convey to you the wonder that we witnessed that day. I can only hope that you will accept my bumbling apologies for this, and know that no matter what you may be envisioning in your heads as you read my words, what we actually saw was better.

So then, with that apology in place, what was it we saw?

The phrase 'a sea of clouds' is one often overused and rarely taken to be literal, but looking out over the seemingly infinite expanse of the heavens, that's precisely what we saw. A calm, undulating plain of sun-drenched cloud reached on beyond the limits of sight in every direction, dotted with a scattering of earthy islands that floated in it, as if somehow buoyant enough to settle on the vapor. We landed on one of these and took time to gasp in wonder at the sights before us.

The rich earth of the islet was dotted with tiny, delicate white flowers. Slim, leafy trees, abounding with beautiful, sweet-scented peaches stood above them. It didn't resemble the conception I had in my head of what the garden of Eden might have looked like, but it was close enough to the idyllic depictions of the western conception of a pure land I had read that if I were to show you a picture of it, your first impression would likely be "that looks like Heaven."

In the air above one of the islands a short distance away, a woman was dancing, wearing a gown of scintillating and translucent feathers, oblivious to our presence.

After we all spent a few moments gawking in the gentle sunlight, Sanae was the first to speak.

"Is this really the heavenly realm? It's beautiful, but it's more boring than I would have expected."

"Sanae, this looks like paradise. What in the world were you imagining?"

"I figured there'd at least be a castle for one. And a huge garden with wonderous plants..."

"We can daydream later, ladies. We should take this opportunity to explore. What's happening over there? It looks like those people are having some kind of a party." Renko said, pointing down the rolling slope of a hill to where a handful of people were gathered.

Sanae nodded and was about to set off, having taken a single step toward the hill when a familiar, and audibly drunk voice called out to us.

"Isshat Renko and Merry? An' th' green miko? How did all of you get all th' way up here?" The voice seemed to come from all around us, but as soon as it spoke, a white mist began to gather up before us, coalescing against the flow of the wind and gathering to a single point. The mist continued to condense, flowing together as more and more thin streamers collapsed into a small cloud and then, all at once, Suika's diminutive form popped out of it. Sanae's eyes went wide with amazement. I suppose it was one thing to have heard our stories about Suika's abilities, but it's another thing to see her demonstrate them in person.

"Oh! You're the little oni!" she said. "I thought you were back at the Hakurei shrine. Have you been here the whole time?"

Suika grinned fearsomely, her red face reeling back slightly as she struggled to maintain her balance. "I came here cuz I heard there was some clown with a real bad attitude causing a buncha' trouble, and I wanted to see if that was any fun, an' sort 'em out if not." She pitched forward suddenly, but recovered herself with a wobbly step. "When I got here tho... it turns out there's some real good booze in the heavens! You should come join us for a drink!" Suika held out her gourd, waving it in our general direction.

"Well I'll pass on the oni sake, but sampling some heavenly libations does sound like a rare opportunity." Renko said with a broad smile, starting towards Suika.

"Wait, Renko! We're not here to party, remember?" Sanae said, pulling on Renko's sleeve with a concerned expression.

"Oh? What're you all here for then?" Suika asked. "The only things anyone does up here are drink an' sing an' dance an' sleep."

"We've come to exterminate the evildoer responsible for the earthquakes below and to demonstrate the might of the Moriya shrine to the whole world. Wait a minute, Suika, was it you? Did you get drunk and cause an earthquake by accident or something?"

"Aww don' be like that. You sound like th' boring wizard from the Scarlet Devil Mansion now."

"So Patchouli made it all the way here too?" Renko asked.

"Yeah, that one. She had it all wrong though. She kept going on about 'temperaments' and said the weather had to all be my fault or sumthin'. I dunno. It was boring, so I socked her back down to the ground."

"Ah, that explains why she didn't want to see anyone when she got back. I imagine it will take her some time to recover from that."

"It was a false accusation! I didn' do nuthin' this time."

"I take it then that you have some idea who the culprit behind all of this really is?"

"Oh, sure. Like I wuzza 'bout to say..."

Suika was suddenly interrupted by a tremendous rumbling that drowned out her words. A shivering tremor passed through the ground, bowing our legs as the earth shook beneath our feet. I stumbled, trying to maintain my balance.

"Is this an earthquake? In the clouds?" Sanae asked in a panic as she spread her arms, trying to stay upright. The ground bucked and both Sanae and I stumbled forward, ending up clinging on to either of Renko's sleeves for support, hanging off of her arms as the tremors subsided.

Renko grinned down at us, looking first to me then to Sanae. "Oh my, beautiful girls hanging off of both arms, is this what they call having a flower in each hand?" I frowned and reached up to poke her, but she blocked. As the last of the rumbling faded away and I got my feet under me again, I was about to retort when another voice spoke, calling out to us.

"Enjoy flowers only in mid-bloom, and drink sake only when half-drunk. Let the reason of heaven triumph over earthly desires and let the strength of the earth flow unimpeded, laying bare the scarlet hearts of man. That is the wisdom of heaven on such matters." The voice had come from above us, and looking up, we now saw its source. A long-haired girl wearing a a long sky-blue dress with a glimmering, rainbow-edged apron. She was standing in mid-air, with her arms crossed in front of her in a pose of smug condescension, slowly lowering herself downward toward us. As she descended, alighting on the grass just before us, I saw that she was wearing a hat ornamented with what looked like one of the same peaches clinging to the branches of the nearby trees.

Sanae rose up to stand again and thrust her wand out in front of her. "Renko, look! Anyone who makes an introduction like that is super-suspicious. This must be the culprit behind the abnormal weather and the earthquakes, right?"

The newcomer smiled at the three of us. "You must be the miko who resolves Incidents. I've been waiting for you. Yes, I'm the one who destroyed your shrine."

Sanae blinked in surprise. "Eh?"

"It's very nice of you to have come all the way up here. I see you've even changed your usual clothes. Did you dress up just for me?"

Renko and I turned to eachother in surprise before looking to Sanae. It seems I'm not the only one to constantly be mistaken for someone else. Sanae stood silently for a moment, trembling slightly.

"I'm Sanae Kochiya!" She exploded. "Wind priestess of the Moriya shrine, not the Hakurei! I'm not a miko and I'm not a palette swap of Reimu! We don't even look anything alike! I'll show you the wrath of the gods!"

The long haired girl blinked twice in surprise. "Excuse me," she said, "but please wait your turn. I don't know what you're talking about but I'm not even talking to you. I can come back and deal with unimportant people like you later. Right now my business is with that one!" She said, flinging one arm forward, her finger outstretched.

"Who, me?"

The person on the other end of that finger was none other than my partner, Renko Usami.