Before you read the new chapter, I would like to give you a short

WARNING

to add. In this chapter it goes about abuse. The act itself is not described by me in detail. But nevertheless, I can imagine, if one is suddenly confronted with this topic here and has had similar experiences oneself, that one might be affected emotionally. This is not my intention, hence the warning.

Sandra

Chapter 81

Helpless

Jake

It was already a quarter to eight when I had Leah possessively in my arm in front of school.

"Word seems to have gotten around that you've been single for over four weeks!" I teased her.

I had just rescued Leah from the rather embarrassing attempts of a classmate to ask her out on a date.

Leah liked being single. She flirted now and then with one or another guy, but she just enjoyed her freedom at the moment. Besides, she probably wouldn't go out with him, either, even if she were open to a new relationship again. The turmoil with Ben and the fear of being pregnant were still in her bones. But since Monday - yesterday - when Carlisle had removed the very last of her concerns, due to his endless research that had taken up the entire weekend, she was again the sister I knew. And the one who turned a lot of guys' heads. So, I had to take care of my sister again!

"I think Leah can take care of herself very well!" laughed Dad gleefully, who had been watching the spectacle with amusement, as had everyone else.

Bran and Lisa also made comments to that effect.

"Exactly!" Leah pushed me away laughing. "You ... Edward," she then said sweet as sugar, standing in front of him with big googly eyes.

What was coming now?

Dad raised his eyebrows tensely.

"NO!" replied Dad, even before Leah could say anything.

Her face became grumpy.

I chuckled.

But what was that all about?

"Why not? It would benefit both of us, " Leah argued in a huff.

Edward lowered his voice so that no human could hear it anymore.

But the rest of us!

"Leah! You're my daughter! I can't pretend we're a couple!" Dad countered indignantly.

The inhuman attendants laughed, which our friends did not really understand. They only looked puzzled.

In principle, that would be a good solution for the two of them, since Edward in particular was approached quite often. But hey, that was our dad!

While the two of them talked it out with Alice and Rose, I looked at my watch.

It would ring in a few minutes and Becky wasn't here yet. This was untypical and made me nervous. She was usually one of the first of us. She was brought every morning by her mother, who made the little detour past here on her way to work.

As I pulled out my cell phone to call Becky, I shook my head in disbelief.

Leah had apparently prevailed. She had one arm around Edward's waist, and he had one around her shoulders ... Becky didn't answer.

Again, I looked at my watch.

"Are you so tyrannical that Becky can't be late even once?" teased Bran as it rang just then, and he pushed me toward the entrance.

Everyone else also picked themselves up to enter the school.

"Oh nonsense ... I ..." I began when I recognized someone past Bran.

Michael Hanks was just entering the school grounds. He had run the last few meters and was still moving quite briskly, which is only why I had looked in his direction at all.

Involuntarily, I stopped.

Something didn't sit right with me about him today, but I couldn't put my finger on why.

He had left me alone since the afternoon we went shopping in Portland, and that had been a month ago. Both me and Becky. No fisticuffs, no stupid comments or warnings. Neither from him, nor from his henchmen. Nothing. He looked at me smugly - he always liked to do that, though. But this time it somehow appeared as if he had won.

I watched as he walked past me and disappeared into the building.

Did he have scratches on his face?

I dialed Becky's number again ...

"Come along!" dad murmured to me, already pulling me along by one arm.

I heard a low growl in his voice.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I nearly stumbled down the steps.

Quickly - almost too quickly by human standards - Edward ran to his BMW.

"I'm afraid Michael is the reason Becky isn't here," he said, continuing to growl, and I got a damn bad feeling.

We drove only a short distance, just a few hundred meters, when he already stopped again. At an old, dilapidated factory site that stood empty.

We got out and Edward seemed to concentrate.

"She's around here somewhere, but I don't hear her," he simply replied.

Panic seized me.

No! I only thought. That was not allowed to be!

I slid with my back along the car until I reached on the ground.

"Jake!" Dad yelled at me, squatting in front of me. "Becky's alive!" he tried to clarify, but I didn't really understand him.

Why else would he not hear her?

"She's unconscious. We have to look for her!" he said emphatically.

I nodded and stood up. I spun around myself, looking in all directions.

Where should I start? The area was huge!

'Jake,' I heard whispered softly inside me.

Had I misheard?

I raised my head and Edward looked at me in amazement.

'Jake ...'

There it was again. Just a murmur. Hardly perceivable.

But I thought I could make out a direction and ran off.

Through a large passageway, a vacant hall, a narrow long corridor, a door and I found myself in a kind of courtyard.

'Jake,' it muttered again in my head.

I went around a wall and there lay Becky!

I felt a damn violent and sweltering pain in my chest.

She was lying on her side, huddled together, her clothes more torn than still whole.

"Becky!" I said, endeavoring to sound calmy, gently pulling down her arm that she had placed over her head.

I winced together.

Her lower lip was split open, a bruise formed on her temple, scratches ran down her neck and extended to her cleavage.

"Jake?" she murmured weakly.

"Yes, Becky. I'm with you," I whispered and put a hand on the back of her neck.

I was scared and looked around for Edward, seeking help. He had run after me and brought a blanket from the car.

He must have known that there was hardly anything left of her clothes.

He nodded bitterly and knelt on her other side.

"Becky. Can you hear me?" he asked as he gently grabbed her wrist.

Becky nodded, barely noticeable.

"She needs to go to the hospital," Dad whispered to me, pointing to the rest of Becky's body.

I followed the indicated direction with my eyes.

Her wrists were turning blue, red marks, abrasions, bite marks and scratches were spread all over her body and between her thighs she was bleeding.

I felt sick and it burned inside me.

How could one do such a thing to a girl?

"We'll take her to Carlisle," he continued to speak, tucking the blanket around Becky.

I gently lifted her off the ground.

My fire receded.

Only she was important now!

Quickly we ran to the car.

Edward opened the door for me, took Becky from me a bit so I could get in, and carefully placed her back in my arms.

I looked at her the entire time, whispering soothingly, every now and then she would briefly open her clear blue eyes and had begun to cry.

I didn't dare to hold her tighter against me, comforting her. I didn't want to hurt her any more in any case.

During the drive, Edward had talked inhumanly quietly on the phone to Carlisle.

He was waiting for us with a stretcher at a side entrance and a woman stood next to him.

She had to be around fifty and somehow had a calming aura.

Right in front of them, Dad stopped the car.

Carlisle opened the door, jumped to us in the back and put a hand to Becky's cheek. She immediately opened her eyes again and looked frightened against him.

"Becky. You're in the hospital. Nothing more can happen to you," he spoke in a soothing tone of voice.

Becky nodded slightly.

He helped me get her out of the car and put her on the stretcher, and the woman I didn't know stepped up to Becky's side.

"Hello, Becky. I'm Cindy Bennett. I'm a doctor and I'd like to examine you if you'll let me," she murmured trustingly.

Becky nodded again.

While Carlisle very carefully pushed the stretcher into the building, Edward reparked the car.

I stayed by Becky's side and held her hand as we rolled through miles of hallways and countless doors, intermediately driving to what felt like the hundredth floor in an elevator.

"You wait outside!" Dr. Bennett then prompted me, looking at me kind of accusingly.

Dad was already back with us by now and pulled me back by the shoulders as I was about to walk through that other door.

I paused and became angry.

I could not leave Becky alone now, however!

Dad's hands tightened around my arms.

"Jake. Please stay very calm," he whispered.

"Most girls don't want any men around after a rape. Not even her boyfriend. That's all she is thinking about," Carlisle explained quietly.

I just nodded and looked after Becky.

"Jake!" I then heard Becky call anxiously just before the door closed.

I freed myself from Dad and stormed through the door. Somewhat more roughly than perhaps intended, I had pushed the doctor out of the way.

Becky held out her hands to me and I ran right up to her.

"All right, then. If Becky insists, of course you may stay," Dr. Bennett now said considerably kindlier.

I briefly apologized for probably being a little too inattentive coming through the door, but she was now smiling indulgently. She pushed a stool towards me, and I sat down next to Becky's head, so that I wouldn't be in the way as she continued.

The doctor proceeded - in my inexperienced opinion - very gingerly. She talked all the time in a very calm tone, partly about some trifles, probably to show Becky that she was not alone.

Gingerly, she stripped her of the blanket and the remnants of her clothing, whereby she simultaneously spread a thin, clean sheet over her.

Uninterruptedly Becky looked at me, holding onto my hand, and I gently stroked over her face.

One by one, Dr. Bennett attended to the injuries that stretched over the entire body, whereby she ever pushed aside the sheet only where she had just been working. During the gynecological exam, Becky squeezed her eyes together and scattered tears ran down her cheeks again.

As she did so, I leaned close to Becky's ear and tried to distract her - and also me - with fond memories.

The day at the lake, at the amusement park, when I gave her the necklace - where was it anyway? - a picnic on the beach, a fashion show with Alice's fashion creations, the evening of games with my family, the bonfire with our group of friends. Everything I could think of until that part was finally over.

Every now and then Becky winced a little together when one of the worse wounds was cleaned and treated. One on her hand even needed stitches.

When demanded by the doctor, Becky said it must have happened when she hit Mike but hit something else. Two fingers on the same hand were also sprained from the same blow and were bandaged.

The scratches on her neck I dabbed myself very carefully with absorbent cotton and some liquid.

Blood was drawn. Her fingernails were examined for trace.

Again and again in between Dr. Bennett asked something about the course of events before she again only wanted to know unimportant things.

Becky barely said anything, mostly just yes and no, and just held onto my hand more and more.

Some time passed before Dr. Bennett put a hand on Becky's shoulder and said she was done.

We all three took a deep breath.

"Becky. What about birth control? Are you on the pill, maybe?" she asked deliberately.

I swallowed.

I hadn't thought of that at all.

"No," Becky muttered.

The doctor nodded and took out a medicine from a cupboard. She explained that it was the 'morning after pill'.

The lady didn't have to say more, because Becky already reached out her hand for it.

Then Dr. Bennett sat down at Becky's side and spoke to her about the possibility of filing charges and what would then happen below.

Many girls were ashamed and believed it was their own fault for having been raped and therefore refrained from reporting it. Especially since this meant describing the crime itself in detail, sometimes several times. In front of the police officers, who would then be here very soon. In front of various lawyers who wanted to defend the perpetrator and who would probably twist her every word that came out of her mouth to prove their client's innocence. Right down to a room full of jurors and other strangers who wanted to watch a possible trial. But Becky was seemingly determined to let it all wash over her.

"In that case, I will notify the police and then, unfortunately, we would have to take some photos of you, which will later serve as evidence. I'd also have to call in a colleague as a witness for that then," Dr. Bennett said apologetically, and Becky nodded after narrowing her eyes anxiously for a long moment. "Is Dr. Stone your attending physician?" she asked.

If so, he would be the additional witness.

Becky nodded decisively.

Becky trusted Carlisle, he had had her in his medical fingers after the first volleyball game.

She notified him via the in-house telephone, and he came immediately.

The pictures were quickly taken. To my relief, no photos were taken of her genitals, which would certainly have been unpleasant for Becky, but of the many other injuries. Among others, her three tattoos were covered with scratches and bites.

According to Dr. Bennett's explanation, this served to demonstrate the seriousness of the crime.

Then the police already appeared.

A man and a woman.

I was sent out even though Becky insisted that I stay with her.

But the policewoman explained that it would now be a matter of recording the complaint and only the officers, including the attending physicians, would be allowed to be present so as not to falsify the indications.

I gave Becky a careful kiss on the forehead and said that for one thing I wouldn't be far away and for another I would call her mother.

It was already late morning, and her parents still had no idea what had happened to their daughter.

I stood restlessly in the hallway, tussling my hair and considering where to get the number. There would be no one at home.

I didn't know exactly how I got there, but I found myself in Carlisle's office.

"You're still here!" I stated matter-of-factly as I walked past Edward.

Becky's school bag was on a chair, and I mechanically searched for her cell phone.

"How are you?" asked Dad quietly, with a hand on my shoulder.

I paused, clenched my eyes and jaw together, and held onto the chair.

ME? My girlfriend, the love of my existence, was raped. But how was I, I had not considered until now. Only she had been important. I was afraid for Becky, that maybe some of it would remain and not heal again. I was worried about what this experience would do to her psychologically. I was mad at myself for not trusting my first instinct when I drove into the school parking lot and Becky wasn't there yet. I was angry at Mike who could do such a horrible thing to another person. I couldn't even put into words how angry I was at Mike. I will kill him!

An underlying heat took over me and tears pressed into my eyes.

Tears of anger.

My muscles tensed and my heart raced. I fought inwardly against the transformation.

My fingers slowly cramped into fists, not caring that they were clutching the wood of a chair. It splintered. I grabbed the remains of the chair and violently threw it against the wall while screaming out all of my anger.

It droned in my ears. The whole hospital must have heard me, but I didn't give a shit!

Ruffling my hair and still screaming, I fell to my knees.

Immediately Dad held me tight, and I let myself fall against him.

I was so angry, but also so helpless at the same time. I felt like a discouraged little child. What could I already do? How was I supposed to help Becky?

Dad spoke soothingly to me, but I barely heard him.

Things like - I should let it all out, that Becky would surely recover from this in no time, that she was a strong woman, gradually entered my consciousness.

"... You're not going to leave her alone, Jake. Only you can help her forget it," he continued speaking.

It took me until I realized that I was really wailing and came back to myself a little bit again.

We sat on the floor, and I had hidden my face on his shoulder. But now I detached myself from him and looked at him.

"Feeling better now?" asked Dad, with his cool hands on my neck that somehow felt good.

It calmed me.

I nodded and wiped away my cursed tears with my sleeve.

"Are you listening to what Becky is saying right now?" I asked.

"No. Not all the time," Dad explained.

"Then listen!" I bitingly summoned him.

Becky had wanted me there, and if she had no problem with me hearing everything, I also wanted to know now. But I wanted to spare her from having to tell it again.

He nodded and concentrated as I now picked up Becky's cell phone from the floor. Quickly, I scrolled through the phone directory and dialed.

"Becky, my darling," her mother reported good-humoredly.

It wasn't that unusual for Becky to call between classes. Because she had forgotten something or asked something or just wanted to let you know that she was going somewhere right after school or something.

"Mrs. Young. Hello. This is Jake ... " I answered.

"Oh ... Jake. Hello. Did something happen?" she asked a little more skeptically.

I drove my free hand through my hair erratically.

What the hell was I supposed to say? Maybe I should have considered that beforehand.

"Mrs. Young ... I am ... with Becky ... in the hospital," I stammered.

"Jake? What happened?" she now requested, obviously fearful.

"Becky ... was ..." I wanted to answer, but my voice broke away and new tears ran down my cheeks.

Dad took the phone from my hand, and I flopped down on Carlisle's couch while he laid out the essential facts for her, emphasizing several times that Becky would be fine under the circumstances and in no way was her life in danger.

Mrs. Young was apparently difficult to calm down, and Edward even offered to pick her up so she wouldn't get behind the wheel so agitated. She agreed, but couldn't seem to leave right away. Her boss was not there at the moment, and she was alone in the office. But she would immediately try to reach him by phone. Dad gave her his cell phone number. As soon as she was ready, he would pick her up.

By now I was sitting on the floor sorting apart fragments, splinters, scraps of fabric, and Becky's school supplies that had flown together with the chair and her bag against the wall.

Dad sat down with a trash can and filed along.

We were silent.

I didn't feel like talking. I just wanted to get back to Becky and be by her side. Again and again I felt something running across my cheek and automatically wiped it away. When was the last time I cried? ... It must have been a long time ago. I couldn't remember.

"Don't be ashamed of your tears," Edward said softly into the silence.

I lifted my head, looked at him for a moment as I considered those words, and leaned against the side of Carlisle's desk.

Maybe I didn't feel like talking, but maybe I felt like listening.

"A lot of men think it's a sign of weakness," Dad continued in a whisper.

I nodded.

Weak. That's how I felt just now.

He sat down beside me.

"But that's not it. They are a sign of your feelings. For that you have a heart. That you're not a callous stone," he continued calmly.

"Like you?" I asked. That was unfair. I knew it and already apologized.

"I envy a lot of things about people. Not having the temperature of a block of ice. To be able to grow from experiences. But also to be able to cry. Thereby, the body reacts solely to sensations. Pain and fear, but also pleasure. What does that have to do with weakness?"

"You forgot about anger. That's what we do best, however. Wailing with rage!" I meant.

"Bella and Leah, yes ... But not you. At least I haven't seen that on you yet," Edward said, and I bristled.

What was that earlier, if not anger and rage?

"Fear and despair."

My first impulse was that I wanted to contradict him, but when I thought about it, he was probably right.

I was afraid. Even now. Afraid of what this would do to Becky. Was desperate because I didn't know what I could do. Maybe I would find a way out of my own helplessness a bit if I knew how it had happened. If I could tell Becky that it wasn't her fault or inattention.

So, I asked Dad - trembling inside - what had happened this morning.

Becky had driven off with her mom and younger brother, as she does every morning, but they still had to get gas. Since they were early, Becky decided without further ado to walk the rest of the way from the gas station. She put on headphones and turned on music on her cell phone. She walked past the factory area and was very suddenly grabbed from behind. Mike. He dragged her across the grounds, completely covering her mouth. Then, in the midst of the vacant lot, her cries for help were drowned out. Mike seemed to have trouble restraining Becky. She fought back with everything she could. Biting, scratching, hitting, kicking. Until Mike lost patience and brutally hit her in the face ...

More I did not want to hear, and Edward immediately stopped.

I definitely didn't want to be able to picture it. It was so hideous.

I squinted my eyes together and covered my face with my hands.

The lump in my throat swelled to a frightening size when I saw Mike's huge paw on my star's delicate face.

"Jake," Dad whispered quietly, sliding a hand to the back of my neck.

I did not react. I could not, but the coolness was soothing.

And then Carlisle came back already.

I jumped right up; he came up to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"The police are done, and Cindy is helping Becky get washed and dressed ... She's been through a lot, Jake, and she really put up a good fight. But now Becky needs to settle down. Help her do that. That's the most important thing right now," he explained to me.

I nodded.

"Nothing has changed about your love for Becky!" noted Dad, in a slightly questioning tone.

Uh ...? Is he crazy?

"Then show her that! Be there for her. Give her back the trust she lost ... That's basically all you can do for now," Dad said, handing me a small velvet jewelry bag.

I paused and dropped the contents into my hand.

Becky's necklace. The pendant looked freshly polished, and the diamonds sparkled at me. It rolled over my fingers a bit and came back to rest on the back. Letters were now found on the back of the heart.

B. E. Y.

4e

J. W. B.

Our initials. Becky Eliza Young and Jacob William Black. And the necklace was new. How ...?

"I was out a bit earlier, so I didn't have to listen to Becky's thoughts," Edward explained.

"Sorry!" I mumbled and hugged my father gratefully.

I didn't want to know exactly how Becky had been defiled and he hadn't wanted to do it to himself either, especially since he would also see it. How it could come to this, I wanted to know. I was sorry that I had then also challenged him to it.

As soon as Dr. Bennett got, I went to see Becky.

Just one room further. A single room - clearly for private patients. No cold and sterile white, but a comfortably furnished and decorated room with pictures on the wall. Even a real armchair stood in one corner. On the side table were flowers, a fruit basket, and some drinks like juice and lemonade. In the other rooms there was always only water outside meals. A private bathroom, a small refrigerator, a TV on the wall, comfortable chairs for visitors, telephone.

But my gaze only glided fleetingly across the room and promptly fell on Becky as soon as I turned around the confines of the door area and saw her.

Becky had curled up on the bed and was sobbing bitterly. Her statement to the police must have taken a lot out of her.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and very carefully put my hand on her back.

I had expected the usual hospital garb. Purposeful underwear and a rather airy nightgown. However, she had on her own pajamas ... Thanks, Dad!

"Becky," I whispered.

Her sobs paused; she turned her head in my direction.

I made an effort to smile unselfconsciously and encouragingly, and she threw herself into my arms.

She pulled me so tightly against her that I was really afraid it would cause her pain. I did not dare to hug her properly, which of course did not escape her notice.

"You ... don't want me anymore!" stated Becky through her tears. "You're disgusted! Like I'm disgusted with myself," she added, turning away from me and going into the fetal position again, whining.

"Becky. No ..." I said as soon as I understood her words and tried to carefully turn her back in my direction.

Incredulous, she looked at me.

I pulled out the small jewelry bag, took Becky's hand and dropped the new/old necklace into it.

"I love you, Becky, and I'm not going to leave you alone anymore. I'm just afraid of hurting you," I explained my probably rather unusual restraint. It was true. There was hardly any part of her body that was not injured in some way. She had been through enough and I just wanted to spare her any further suffering.

Somewhat mistrustful, she looked up at me.

I turned the pendant in her hand so she would discover the new engraving, gently put a hand to her cheek and breathed a kiss on her forehead.

"I don't know if I could be without you. I doubt it, but I certainly don't want to find out!" I followed up, taking the necklace from her and carefully placing it around her neck.

She straightened up a bit and I pulled her into my arms.

"Hold me tight, please, Jake ... As tight as you can!" she then summoned me.

I did. As hard as I could, without hurting her under normal circumstances, I held Becky in my arms. But only for a short time, because I noticed how she braced herself against the pain.

Becky leaned against me, and my arms were only loosely around her whereby I continuously stroked her back and gently rocked her back and forth. Only minutes passed before Becky calmed down and fell asleep.

It was no wonder. The whole day so far must have taken its toll on her.

Shortly thereafter, Carlisle entered the room. He had apparently just been waiting for this.

Gently we laid her back on the bed and I tucked her in.

He attached some sensors to Becky that would monitor her circulation.

Shocked, I looked at him.

Was Becky in mortal danger?

"Don't worry, Jake. This is just for control purposes. After such a traumatic experience, panic attacks can come out of nowhere. Also, these are noticed by the devices and reported to the nurses. Since I assume that you will not leave Becky alone, this is actually unnecessary. But if I refrain, the nurses will ask annoying questions," he reassured me, opening a cabinet on the side and adjusting some equipment. "I'd like to give her a mild sedative so she can really rest and not be unnecessarily awakened by anything," he said, looking at me.

"You're the doctor!" I shrugged my shoulders.

While Carlisle prepared a syringe, I pulled up a chair from the other side.

As I did so, my gaze fell on a bag.

Becky's bag?

And a stuffed animal looked at me with big black eyes. I put it in Becky's arms, sat down next to her myself and held her hand. I considered how all this would go on now and how Becky would cope with it.

My head got heavier and heavier and at some point, I also fell asleep ...

Thanks for reading!