NOTE: Episodes 1-9 will remain the same as canon.

Chris: (Recapping last episode.) "Last time on Total Drama Action... The world's toughest Chef used spoons to bring out DJ's killer instinct."

Chef: (To DJ.) "This is not about right or wrong, son! It's about you and me, winning that cool mil."

Chris: "It was no thanks to DJ that Duncan and Heather had the bejeebies scared out of them. Victory seemed within reach, as DJ won the scream-off. Lindsay surprised everyone by taking charge, earning the respect of her teammates."

Lindsay: "Beth is going to be our serial killer and that is that!"

Chris: (Voiceover.) "Just as the Killer Grips were about to cut someone loose, DJ's conscience, A.K.A. Mama DJ, got the best of him. DJ called himself out as a cheater, hopped into the Lame-o-sine, and rode off into the sunset. How will the contestants survive without DJ's gourmet cooking? Was it coriander or tarragon he used in that casserole? Discover all that and more in another thrilling and filling episode of Total. Drama. Action!"

(Theme song plays.)

(The episode begins In the Craft Services Tent, where the castmates are served cockroach mush)

Harold: "Ugh! (Coughs in disgust.) I really miss DJ's cooking. It was as awesome as this is completely gross-itating."

Beth: "I wish my boyfriend was here. He's such a great cook!"

Heather: "Boyfriend? I don't remember any talk of a boyfriend."

Beth: "Oh, yeah. I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend. What? Didn't I mention my boyfriend before?"

Leshawna: "You sure do like that word, "boyfriend". When did you two meet?"

Beth: "We met between TV seasons."

Lindsay: "Wasn't that only like, two days?"

Beth: Mm-hmm. We met at the orthodontist. He was getting his braces off at the same time as me. At first, I wasn't into him. But after the braces came off, look out! (She pulls out a picture of him) Such a cutie. (Lindsay, Justin, and Owen start snickering)

CONFESSIONAL:

Izzy: "Okay. I bought a lot of junk off late-night infomercials, but I ain't buyin' that!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Heather: "So, you have a boyfriend, huh? What's he like?"

Beth: "I can tell you everything about him. He's six feet tall, has light brown hair, blue eyes, size ten shoes. Thirty-two pants with a thirty-four-inch inseam."

Justin: "Wait a second. (he takes the picture) Those stats are all written on the back of his picture. I know a comp card when I see one because I'm a… professional male model."

Beth: "Yeah, well… (she takes the picture back) maybe he's a model too. Ever thought of that?"

Duncan: (dumps his mush into Harold's bowl) "No. No one ever thought of that."

Leshawna: "You've been chasing after a boyfriend all this time, with a honey back home?"

Beth: "Sure, my boyfriend's a model, but he's still just a guy. Justin is a supermodel! I can't help myself! Now that my braces are off, it's a whole new dating world."

Harold: (He notices a cup full of bendy straws) "Bendy straws! These are just like the ones they had at the hospital where I had my kidneys switched."

Owen: "Huh?"

Harold: "I was born with a rare kidney condition. My left kidney was where the right one should be."

Leshawna: "You had a surgical kidney swap?"

Harold: "That's right. I'm a rare case."

Heather: "Hm. You're a rare case, all right."

Harold: "Whatever. I'm loading up." (He grabs the bendy straws as Owen scarfs down his mush.)

Heather: "I think Owen's taste buds packed up and moved to France years ago."

Lindsay: "I wish I had this disgusting slop around last time I was trying to stick to my diet."(Chef arrives)

Harold: [clears throat] "This haute cuisine is obviously too complex for our unsophisticated taste buds, right?" (Everyone nods)

Owen: (Chewing & raises his hand.) "I give it five stars!"

Chef: "I hate suck-ups." (He leaves as Chris arrives)

Chris: "Not to worry, folks. You won't be hanging on to your lunch for much longer." (Chuckles.)

Duncan: "And exactly what torture have you concocted for us today?"

Chris: "Oh, nothing. Just that your day will be total disaster. Get it? It's a disaster movie theme! You know? Like in disaster flicks? People running for their lives from volcanoes, earthquakes, asteroids, tidal waves. The more disastrous, the better."

CONFESSIONAL:

Lindsay: "My hair is already a total disaster! It's been three weeks since I've had a trim! Split ends city! How much worse could it get?"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(We now cut to Chris & the 2 teams in a Disaster Movie set.)

Chris: "Your first challenge is… the earthquake of inevitable pain! Each team has to run the course, challenging your dexterity, maneuverability, and other mad monkey skills. (Chef is at the top, with a bag of various items as he tosses a cinder block in his hand) First team to the top wins! Best out of two earns today's reward."

Beth: "Ooh! My boyfriend had a summer job cleaning up after earthquakes and landslides!"

Izzy: "Haha. Nope, still not buying it. But I did cave and buy the electronic salad spinner."(Imitates spinner, then laughs.) Woo!"

Chris: "Enough with the chitty chat. Take your marks…"

(The castmates take their starting positions as Leshawna runs in place.)

Heather: "This'll be a cinch."

Beth: "I can't wait to swing on the monkey bars."

Chris: "And... action!" (He blows an airhorn and the castmates run off)

Izzy: "How easy is this?!"

Chris: "Are you ready to rock?!" (Laughs as he throws a lever, causing the platform to move up and down, and Beth falls on Izzy.)

Izzy: "If you break it, you buy it! (Laughs as Duncan falls on her.)

Duncan: "Oh!"

Chef: "Perfect time to get rid of some old junk. Heh heh…" (He throws an old football, knocking Harold and Leshawna off the monkey bars)

Harold: "Ow, my right kidney!" (Chef throws various other stuff, including a rubber ducky, which he throws at Justin.)

Justin: "Ah! My precious cheekbones..." (The earthquake dies down)

Beth: "Ugh. Finally, a break."

Chris: "Aftershock! (Laughs as he throws the lever to shake the platform faster.)

Owen: (Screams.) "Oh.." (Vomits) My delicious lunch lost forever!"

Chris: "Oh, yeah. That reminds me. It's lava time!" (The platform stops shaking and he presses a button to cause red stuff the drip down, then Chef tastes some)

Chef: "Tomato soup?! That was supposed to be for supper." (The castmates avoid the "lava" soup.)

Chris: "Hoo-wee! Is it getting hot in here? How 'bout a cool, refreshing hailstorm?! (He mans a cannon loaded with golf balls) Golf ball-sized hail is bad. But hail-sized golf balls are even worse! (Laughs as he shoots the cannon and hits Izzy.) I got one!"

Chef: "Don't get cocky, kid." (Chris continues shooting other castmates)

Justin: "No! Not the face!" (he gets shot)

CONFESSIONAL:

Justin: (He's covered in welts and has a black eye.) "I give up. There's no way I'll get that skincare line endorsement now. Oh, not so silky smooth..."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Chris: After-aftershock! (Presses a button that causes the platform to crack apart)

Lindsay: (Screams as she falls off.) "Whoa!" (Justin helps her up, but Owen lands on his backs.)

Justin: (Grunts) "I can't breathe."

Owen: "I'm still carrying a little holiday weight."

Beth: "My boyfriend was part of a rescue team that saved people stuck in avalanches. He used to say–"

Justin: "Beth? We need actual advice from real-life living people!" (An annoyed Beth helps Owen up.)

Owen: (Strained.) "Hurry, they're getting a lead! (The Gaffers make it near the end, and Chris keeps shooting golf balls.) Everyone, get behind me! (The other Grips get behind him as he gets hit by the golf balls.) Ow! Ow! Shouldn't someone be yelling 'Fore'?!" (Continues yelling while getting hit.)

Chris: "Fore! Haha." (The cannon clicks, as it's out of ammo)

Owen: "Hey, it stopped!" (Catches up)

Chris: "Chef! Do something!" (Chef backs up to the end of the platform, crashing the cart and climbing back up to throw more stuff)

Owen: "Ah! Hang on, team! We're almost there!" (The castmates dodge more stuff, including a chainsaw.) Please, after you."

Izzy: "Oh, come on. You're the one who sacrificed himself for us. I insist."

Owen: "Ladies first."

Chef: (He reaches in the bag and pulls out a thick book) Ah. My unpublished manifesto. (Izzy helps Owen climb the wall) I've lived a lot of years! (He throws the book, which hits Owen right in the jaw, as he lands on the log with broken teeth.)

Owen: "Ouchie. [lipsy] That'll hurt come morning."

Izzy: "Oh no! Owen! (Runs to him, & gasps.) Are you okay?!"

Chef: "My editor was right. My life really is dangerous. Heh heh."

CONFESSIONAL:

Beth: "Did Owen actually break his jaw?! [gasps] That's so tragic! Owen lives to eat!"

Izzy: Owen is my buddy! He's the only one who truly gets me. If something happens to Owen, I'll be stuck with my imaginary friends. And let's face it. I should've ditched them years ago. (Hollow knock) Yeah, Phil. I'm talking to you!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(Owen screams in pain)

Leshawna: "Um, Chris? Why doesn't the crew go over and help him?

Chris: "Yeah, yeah. As soon as we're done getting every shot. The good news is, it looks like Owen won the challenge for the Killer Grips." (The Grips cheer, while Owen cheers weakly & faints.)

Leshawna: "Oh no, he didn't!"

Harold: "Yeah, we got our whole team across the finish line!"

Chris: "Serious injury trumps all.

Heather "You just love making up the rules, don't you?"

Chris: "I love my job."

(We then cut to an ambulance arriving at the scene, as they put Owen on the stretcher, as a female doctor exams him.)

Izzy: "Doctor, how's Owen?"

Doctor: (Looks at Owen.) "Not that good, it appears that his jaw injury Is way too severe for him. And he'll be unable to speak to a few weeks. So I'm afraid we have to remove him from the competition."

(Everyone else gasps in shock.)

CONFESSIONALS:

Lindsay: "Oh no! Owen's gone from the game! What are we gonna do without him now?"

Duncan: (Sighs sadly.) "Man.. This sucks.. I wish Owen can stick with us for much longer but.. Wow.."

Izzy: "Without Owen.. I'm.. I'm.." (Tears up.) "I'm sorry.." (Sniffles.)

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Izzy: (Looks at Owen.) "Don't worry, Big O. I'll win it for you."

(Izzy kisses him on the cheek as Owen smiles.)

Duncan: "Get well soon, buddy."

Lindsay: "We love you, Owen!"

Justin: "Hope you'll be alright soon."

(Owen smiles at the rest, Then the ambulance puts him inside as it leaves. Then a stunned Chris looks at the camera.)

Chris: "Well.. Without Owen.. What will happen next? Stay tuned for find out after the break. I guess.."

(Commercial break.)

(We now cut back to the cat & Chris. With a submarine & 2 rafts as well.)

Chris: (he's on the phone while standing in front of the castmates) "Yeah. Ah-huh. No, I understand. Alright. Alright, bye." (Hangs up the phone)

Justin: "How'd it go?"

Chris: "So... um... the producers might be dealing with a lawsuit from Owen's folks in the near future. Just a heads up."

Beth: "Oh no! It's that bad?"

Chris: "Well, that doesn't mean we can't move on with the competition." (the Grips glare at him)

CONFESSIONAL:

Chris: "That's what medical evacs are for! Correctamundo?!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Chris: "All right. Now it's time for the second disaster-themed challenge. (He gestures to a submarine) Who's excited? (The castmates are silent) Because of Owen's hollow victory, the Grips have the advantage of getting this handy dandy piece of paper for the second disaster challenge." (Throws a paper airplane to the Grips, which hits Lindsay, and she opens it, revealing Roman numerals.)

Lindsay: "What good is this? It just has some letters on it."

Beth: "Ooh! I think it's a lock combination!"

Chris: "Okay, time to get inside."

Leshawna: "You crazy? I'm not getting in that tin can."

Chris: "Not even for a million bucks?"

Leshawna: "Better be carpeted in there."

(Later, the teams have entered their respective side on the sub.)

Leshawna: I don't like this. Not one little bit. (An alarm blazes.)

Justin: "What's going on?"

Beth: (She's close to Justin) "Who cares? I could stay like this all day." (Justin backs away)

Chris: [over P.A.] "For this challenge, you've gotta get out before it's too late."

Heather: "Too late? Too late for what?"

Chris: [over P.A.] "Oh, you'll find out." [laughs]

(In the production room, Chef and Chris are hanging out.)

Chef: "Pick up two."

Chris: You mind cranking that lever?" (Chef throws the switch, as the submarine starts flooding with water.)

Justin: "What is that?"

Beth: "I really wish my boyfriend was here. He's a registered lifeguard."

Izzy: "Uh-huh. Yeah. It would be great if he were here, you're right. You know what would be better?"

Beth: "What?"

Izzy: "If he existed in the first place! Now let's get out of this death trap!"

(Back with the Gaffers...)

Heather: "This water is freezing! And it's too dark to see anything!"

Duncan: "No problem, I've got great night vision. A lot of the stuff I get up to happens when the sun goes down. This should help. (he takes some flashlights out of a box) Get to work, everybody!"

(The Grips try to escape when Izzy is propelled onto a box of flashlights.)

Izzy: "Oof! Wow. Heh, what a head rush."

Lindsay: "Yay for Izzy's hard head!"

Justin: (Sees a hatch on the ceiling) "Hey, look. I think it's a way out!"

Beth: (sees a hatch on the floor) "Or maybe that's the exit!"

(The Gaffers look at the hatch on the floor.)

Leshawna: "This one's closest, so let's try it first."

Heather: "Anyone know how to pick a lock?"

Harold: "Actually, I learned how to open a combo lock at Picky Steve's Lock-picking Camp."(pulls out a stethoscope)

Leshawna: "Heh, you do have mad skills."

Harold: Yeah, well– (Duncan kicks him down) Whoa, ah!

Duncan: (Clears throat.) "The water is rising, so get to it, Haroldini."

(We now cut to The Grips failing to open the floor hatch.)

Beth: "Oh no! It's a combination lock!"

Izzy: "Sound familiar?" (Lindsay just stares blankly until Izzy pulls out the paper with the combination)

Lindsay: "How are we ever going to open it?"

Beth: "Guys, we better get to it quick before the water gets too high!"

Justin: (he takes the paper) "I'll do it."

Lindsay: "No, I wanna do it." (They start fighting over it)

Justin: "Just give it to me. Lindsay. Lindsay. Lindsay."

Lindsay: "Look, I just– But I wanna do it! Come on!" (They drop the paper and Izzy picks it up, but the numbers are soaked)

Izzy: "Urgh..."

Justin: "So come on, what are the numbers? Read 'em out."

Izzy: "Ugh! I'm surrounded by loons!"

Justin: "Where?"

Lindsay: "Oh, I love ducks!" (Izzy screams)

(We now cut back on the Gaffers' side, Harold tries to pick the lock, but can't due to the rising water.)

Harold: (Gasps.) "I can't do it. I need more time! If only I had gills."

CONFESSIONAL:

Harold: "How cool would that be if I had gills? I really should've been born with gills. Life can be so unfair."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Leshawna: Maybe we could boost each other up. (Leshawna gets on Duncan's shoulders, then Heather gets on top of Leshawna and reaches for the hatch)

Heather: "I can't… r-reach!"

Duncan, Heather and Leshawna: "Whoa! (They fall, and Leshawna pops up with an afro again)

Leshawna: "Did I mention I don't like water? 'Cause I don't! Not a fan of this *bleep*!"

Heather: "Funny. You look like a floater."

Leshawna: "That another big girl joke? Huh?" (Grunts as she and Heather enter a slapfight.)

Duncan: "You two fight like girls. We'll just float up to the top with the water and open the hatch."

Harold: "Funny. You don't look like a thinker." (Duncan dunks him under the water) Ah!

(In the Grips' side, the water has reached their waists)

Izzy: "So… um… hm. Anybody got any ideas?"

Beth: "My boyfriend used to do underwater photo shoots and taught me how to hold my breath for a really long time."

Justin: "My agent totally wants me to learn that."

Beth: (Gasps.) "Brady could teach you! (Laughs.) Then I'd have you both to myself."

Izzy: (She notices the top hatch) "Guys, there's something here. It might be a way out. Pull, c'mon!" [she and Justin open the hatch, only to reveal a shark, and they close it]

Justin: "No good. Any other ideas?"

(On the Gaffers' side, the top hatch is open to reveal fire, and Heather closes it.)

Heather: "Nope. No good. Any other ideas? (she realizes she huddled next to Duncan) Ugh."

(In the production room...)

Chris: "Fire, huh? Don't you think that's a bit much?" (Chef shrugs his shoulders)

CONFESSIONAL:

Chef: Seriously! I'm just not in the mood! Busting my hump for a bunch of snot-nosed– Don't I deserve a little me-time?!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(We now cut back to Chris & Chef in the control room.)

Chris: "Really, it might be time to end the challenge. The water's getting pretty high. And uh, those kids are terrible swimmers."

Chef: "Focus! I want my chips back. I'm starving."

Chris: "This is getting seriou- turn, turn off the water! [Chef pulls on the lever, but it breaks.] AHH! We've gotta get the cast out of there! Simple formula! No more contestants equals no more episodes equals no paycheck, and the end of my luxurious lifestyle!"

Chef: "Texas Hold 'Em?"

Chris: "You're not hearing me!"

Chef: "What? Gin Rummy?"

(We now cut back to The Gaffers.)

Leshawna: [panting] "This, this could be it. The end. Like, the "end" end. (She sheds some tears) A-And I wanna live!"

Harold: "I know you're scared. But you don't have to cry. I'll save you."

Leshawna: "Who said anything about crying? Leshawna never cries!"

Duncan: "You sure blubbered enough when a reward was on the line!"

FLASHBACK:

Chris: For your reward… (she lifts the platter revealing pictures of the Gaffers' relatives)

DJ: That's my momma!

Leshawna: Ooh, and that's my best cousin!

Chris: Yep. One of you gets a whole spa night away from this cruddy studio lot with your very best friend. So, who's the lucky stiff? (The Gaffers start arguing until Leshawna BURSTS out crying)

Leshawna: I'm sorry, it's just… it's been so stressful. I thought I was gonna lose you. [sniffles] Fighting for your lives. It's just all been too much. [whimpers]

Heather: Wow. You actually do have a heart.

Duncan: And Leshawna did solve the challenge. I nominate her to win the award. All in favor?

Heather, DJ, and Harold: Aye!

Leshawna: No, no. I-I can't believe this! [gasps] You guys are so beautiful! What a generous… [cries again]

END OF FLASHBACK:

(We now cut back to the present, with the rest of the Gaffers glaring at Leshawna.)

Duncan: "You're a total sham!"

Heather: "You mean, Leshawna fake cried to get the reward with Leshaniqua?"

Harold: "Hey, wait a second. Let's not forget who's always there listening to everyone's problems."

Heather: "You're gonna pay for this, Big Loud and Proud bitch!"

Harold: "Wait! I just remembered something! (he takes out the bendy straws he took) Quick! Help me make a snorkel!" (He goes deep as Leshawna adds straws to make a snorkel)

Chris: "Brilliant! Harold's gonna save the day! Whoever opens the hatch first, it'll drain the water out of both the rooms! And I'll still have a paycheck!"

(We now cut to a montage on the Grips' side, the water gets higher and higher as the Grips float to survive. On the Gaffers' side, Harold snorkels as he turns the knob. In the production tent, Chris is getting nervous.)

Heather: "Come on, Harold! C'mon, there's not much time left!" [gurgles]

(Harold reaches the final number, then he opens the hatch and the Gaffers swim out of there.)

Chris: "Woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! Mm! Mm!" (Laughs as the water empties from the Grips' side.)

Lindsay: "Phew. This'll make escaping from underwater way easier."

(We now cut to the night, the castmates sit around the fire pit in bath robes.)

Chris: "Well, that was a pretty exciting day, huh? Looks like a reward win for the Grips. Of course, if Harold's snorkeling plan came through, the Gaffers probably could have tied with them. But… [chuckles] I wouldn't hold my… breath. (Chuckles.) And now let's see what the Grips have won. Ohh... An all-expenses paid trip to beautiful British Columbia! That's right. You'll be staying at the luxurious inn on the volcano! A charming lodge teetering on the edge of a little known active volcano on Vancouver Island. To get you there, you'll be enjoying an exhilarating eight-day hike up the craggy, treacherous–"

Duncan: "No, thank you!"

CONFESSIONAL:

Duncan: "I couldn't believe we were actually gonna drown. Did the producers lose their minds?! But, it would've been a pretty cool way to go, on national TV and all."

Harold: "I had it all under control. I work best under pressure. [laughs] Pressure? Get it? Water pressure? (Chuckles & snorts.) I'm hilarious. Even when my life is in danger."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Leshawna: We'll just take some chips and pop, if that's okay.

Chris: Suit yourselves. More money for my end-of-the-year bonus.

CONFESSIONAL:

Heather: "That's what they call a prize? Right. All we need after today is a disastrous themed vacay."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(The Gaffers enjoy their prize while the Grips just sit there)

Chris: "Well, that brings us to the end of another awesome episode. What disaster lies in store for our teams next time? I'm your host, Chris McLean, asking you to tune in, turn on, and find out right here on Total... Drama... Action!"

(End credits.)

What do you think?
HUGE credit to HeavyHitterConnor for being my new co-writer for this rewrite! If you don't know who he is, he's a user on DeviantArt well known for RP's, Masked Toon Singer, and more.
BTW, very sorry Owen fans..
Stay tuned for episode 11!