Chris: (Recapping last episode.) "Last week on Total Drama Action, our competitors took it on the chin as they faced an all-you-can-eat buffet of deadly natural disasters. But it was Owen's own feet that tripped him up. Ouch! Owen's broken jaw means he got kicked out of the contest and met the business end of the hospital. Yep, it's a rough life for Owen. But, the "Your Own Worst Enemy" award clearly goes to Leshawna."

Duncan: "You're a total sham!"

Chris: "Better call the fire department, because liar, liar, Leshawna's pants were seriously on fire. Luckily we had a submarine tank simulator full of water to douse the blaze in a waterlogged event that had all our competitors gasping for air. In the end, it was Gaffers quick thinking that saved the Grips in a last ditch effort not to drown. Sound tough? Get used to it, Because this week, it's all out war! It's a desperate battle for survival on Total... Drama... Action!"

(Theme song plays.)

(The episode begins with Leshawna, Duncan, Harold, Beth, and Heather making it to the bathroom, where only one toilet is available)

Beth: "Only one toilet is working today?"

Heather: "This crazy bargain basement show doesn't even have a plunger?"

Leshawna: "And I'd have to be crazy myself to give up this primo spot. Crazy with niceness! Duncan, honey, you take it."

Duncan: (scoffs) "Nice try, but you lied to us. (he steps close to Leshawna) And I never mess with liars. Like you"

Leshawna: "Ugh. Or with mouthwash. I got one word for you, stank breath. Wintermint. Harold, baby. Would you like my spot?"

Harold: "Hell yeah."

Duncan: "Figures. Taking a bribe."

Harold: "I don't do bribes."

Duncan: "Then what's with letting Leshawna suck up to you? As far as I'm concerned, she's off the team."

Heather: "And as far as I'm concerned, I'm still the team captain. Only I get to say whether Leshawna is still on the team. And she is."

Harold: "Except that the team needs her. (to Leshawna) Thanks for giving me your spot, Leshawna, my valued, if somewhat untrustworthy, teammate." (He enters the stall door then Beth walks out.)

Leshawna: "Where are you going?"

Beth: "I'm going to check on Izzy."

(Meanwhile, back in the Grips' trailer...)

Lindsay: (she sees Beth come back) "I thought you had to go to the bathroom."

Beth: "I can hold it. How's Izzy doing?"

(Lindsay then points at Izzy, where she is laying on her bed, all sad. As Beth & Lindsay both walk to her.)

Beth: "Izzy? Is everything ok?"

Izzy: "No.. It's just that without Big O. I don't even know what to do without him!"

Beth: (Comforts Izzy.) "Izzy, It's going to be ok. We need to concentrate on the next challenge today, alright?"

Izzy: (Looks at them for a long time, then smiles a bit.) "Ok."

(Then Lindsay & Beth both smile as they all leave the trailer altgoether.)

(We now cut to Chris with the castmates lined up. While Chris is wearing an army hat.)

Chris: "Today, we're all about war movies, so... look lively, you..."

Chef: "Buckets of horse *bleep*!"

Chris: "So, get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you…"

Chef: "Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!"

Chris: "Move it, privates! Fall in!"

The contestants: "Sir, yes, sir!"

CONFESSIONAL:

Duncan: "I've always wanted to be a Marine. They're rough, tough, they wear rad boots, and they say "Hoo-ah!" No clue what that means, but it just sounds so cool. Hoo-ah!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Harold: "I'm so pumped! My squad in Battlefront has won ten online multiplayer gaming titles. The secret to our success? Teamwork."

Duncan: "This is the real world, virtual loser. You want to win? Sit back and let me get my Marine on. I'm the main course, the rest of you are gravy. As in, on the side."

Harold: "You won't be saying that when I bust out my deadly numb-yo. No longer must we live in fear of ninja attacks. Not when I'm carrying this bad boy. (he whips out two yoyos tied together) I will defeat all enemies. (He spins the yoyos) And smite them with dishonor. Hi-yah! (Duncan grabs a stick and jams it between the yoyos, one of them hitting Harold's groin, as he groans in pain.) My nether regions!"

Duncan: "Harold just took a numb-yo in the numb-yos! (Laughs, while Heather and Leshawna laugh as well.) What a loser!"

Harold: (High-pitched.) "Not funny, Duncan. Ah-haha!"

(We now cut to the contestants, with blindfolds on. & Chris on the a war plane...)

Chris: "Okay, people! Remove your blindfolds! (The castmates take off their blindfold as Wendy is wearing her military outfit from TDI.) When it comes to making a war movie, jumping out of an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is." (He opens the plane door) So naturally, it's our first challenge!"

(The contestants gasp.)

Lindsay: "If we live, I was thinking I should totally be our team's admiral!"

Beth: "Admirals are in charge of sailors! Generals are in charge of soldiers, generally!"

Lindsay: "But 'admiral' sounds cuter! So now I'd like to be called 'Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness', okay?" (Justin sits between Lindsay and Beth)

Justin: "Beth, Lindsay! I want to propose something, but don't get excited, it's not marriage! Ha! [beat] Uh, anywho, it's a long way from the airplane to the ground below!"

Beth: "Three kilometers, to be exact!"

Justin: "Wouldn't know, math is for ugly people. Here's the deal! I need you two to jump before me in case I need a soft place to land, okay?!" (He blinks his eyes as Lindsay and Beth glare at him) Now, you girls know that I don't blink these eyelashes at just anybody! (he blinks his eyes again, but there's no reaction) Nothing?! When were your last eye exams?!"

Chris: "Drop zone approaching! Form a line, it's time to partay! Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute! Luckily, we're gonna skip all that and get to the good part! Jumping!"

Harold: "Are you sure that's a good idea?!"

Chris: "What's the worst that could happen?!"

Heather: "Um, we die!"

Chris: "I know! Hilarious! Haha! Time to jump!"

Izzy: "There's only one way off this big ol' silver bird, and it's through that door! Parachute me!"

Chris: "Oh, actually, I just spoke to our research department! There were no parachutes in World War I!"

Heather: "So, what do we do for a challenge?"

Chris: "Simple!" (He pushes the crate of parachutes off, much to the castmates shock)

Izzy: "Whoo! Tell my pet rock I love her!" [she jumps out the door]

Chris: "Who's next?!"

Duncan: "How about Miss Crocodile Tears over here?!"

Harold: "Who me?!" (Gets pushed out of the plane by Duncan, as he screams.)

Lindsay: (Looks at Beth worriedly.) "This could be it.. Wanna do it together?"

Beth: "Sure!" (They both run & jump out of the plane together.)

(Then we cut to the view of the plane, where Justin, Heather, Duncan & Leshawna are all jumping out one at a time, & screaming. Then they all realized they all landed on a bed mattress.)

Lindsay: (Gasps) "We're alive!" (Squeals in relief as Chef turns off the fans.)

Chris: "Let's roll, soldiers! Because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds! And everything else withing a fifty foot radius!"

(We now cut On the war set, Chef uncovers a pile of bombs for each team as Izzy grabs some.)

Lindsay: "Are those… paint bombs?"

Chris: "We've divided the camp into two halves. Most creative and controlled splatter wins."

Duncan: "Talk about a challenge custom-made for me! I'm all over this!"

Harold: "Might I suggest you consult your friendly neighborhood chem expert? Because what is an explosion other than the chemical reaction of trinitrotoluene decomposing at C7H5N3O6, 3N2 plus 5H2O plus 7CO?"

Heather: "Try speaking in English!"

Leshawna: "I think we might have to stick with Duncan, honey."

Harold: "Why?"

Heather: "Vandal boy beats big chem nerd. It's a simple equation."

(Meanwhile, with the Grips, Lindsay steps out in an admiral's jacket and hat.)

Lindsay: "Okay, minions! Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness is about to tell you how this is going to work. (To Beth.) How is this going to work?"

Beth: "What we need to do is lay the explosives in a wide, interlocking pattern to ensure maximum paint coverage!"

Lindsay: "What an excellent plan I came up with! Okay, snap to it, please!"

Justin: (He's resting in a hammock) "Sorry, my butt needs its beauty rest, uh-huh. (Lindsay and Beth throw him off) Ooh!"

Lindsay: "Admiral Lindsay decrees that you will get up and work on this challenge!"

Justin: "Is it getting... (he takes off his shirt) hot out here? Now if you'll notice, I don't sport a six-pack. I got twelve. That's a dozen smokin' man-dominals."

Beth: "Get to work, lazybones." (She walks off)

Justin: "This, this can't be right… Have I really lost my lady controlling mojo? Say it ain't so!"

Lindsay: "It's so, Justin."

Chris: "Time's up! Uh-oh, looks like you didn't even get started."

?: (Hispanic accent.) "Not so fast, señor Chris." (Izzy is revealed to have riddled the Grips' half of the camp with explosives)

Chris: "Whoa. Now that's what I call thorough."

Beth: "Wow, Izzy… that's impressive."

Izzy: "Oh, I didn't do this, Beth. It was my friend, Explosivo. [Hispanic accent] Explosivo es loco for boom-boom!" [chuckles]

(We now cut to both teams altogether, getting ready.)

Chris: "Gaffers, are we ready?"

Duncan: "Time for a little punk rock!" (He pushes down the plunger, and the bombs explode as the resulting paint splatters form a skull)

Chris: "And who says vandalism doesn't pay?"

Harold: "Much as it pains me to say so, you did good, Duncan."

Duncan: "Yeah, no kidding. This is my world you're living in, dork boy." (Pokes Harold in the chest, as he growls.)

(On the Grips' side...)

Chris: "Are we ready to blow it up?!"

Izzy: [Hispanic accent] "Sí, sí. Explosivo es ready. Unos, dos, boom-boom!" (Pushes the plunger down; the Grips and Chris flinch and cover their ears, but nothing seems to have happened.)

Chris: "Well, folks, looks like we're having some technical diff–" (a GIGANTIC explosion occurs as the safety glass is shattered, the Grips and Chris are splattered with paint, and all that's left is a big crater)

Izzy: [chuckles] [Hispanic accent] "Explosivo es one crazy hombre, ah?" (Laughs)

Chris: "Explosive? Yes. Creative and controlled? Not so much! The Gaffers are victorious! (The Gaffers cheer) It is my honor to present your prize. (Chef rolls in a fancy red chest) The big trunk of mind-blowing secrets! You'll be defending it with your very lives when we return to more… Total... Drama... Action!"

(Commercial break)

(We now cut back to the set, where Chris & The Grips are all clean from the paint.)

Chris: "Contestants, get ready to begin your next war challenge. It's a giant game of Capture the Flag! Except in this case, the flag is the Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets! There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk, and that's to win the challenge. As your reward, we'll give you immunity from tonight's vote. And… a peek inside, but be ready. The secrets inside will blow your brain to bits!"

Harold: "I need my brain."

Chris: Not to worry. A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the grey matter back together. (He leads the Gaffers to a tarp as Duncan and Harold carry the trunk) Gaffers, this is your base camp. Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities. But they went to see a movie instead, so… we're going to give you this! (Chef removes the tarp to reveal an old tool shed) I think it's a tool shed." (The tool shed crashes down.) Was a tool shed. Good luck! (he leaves)

Leshawna: "How are we gonna defend this big ol' trunk of secrets with no fort?"

Harold: "We'll put our heads together and come up with a group plan."

Duncan: "You do whatever you want. I'm gonna go set some booby traps." (He walks off)

CONFESSIONAL:

Harold: (Snickers.) "He said "booby.'"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Harold: [he hands the girls shovels] "In first World War movies, they always have underground hiding places. Foxholes."

Leshawna: "If I'm digging, we're gonna have to call it a foxy-hole." (She and Heather start digging)

Harold: "Duncan, the rest of us agreed on an actual plan. If you wouldn't mind, we could use a little help."

Duncan: "If you wouldn't mind, I could use a little of you shutting your useless pie hole! I'm busy!" (he runs off)

CONFESSIONAL:

Harold: "I have had it with that idiot Duncan. I've been giving my all since day one. Then Mister Too-Cool-To-Care suddenly wakes up and everyone falls all over him? He might be standing tall after that first challenge, but the taller the mohawk, the harder it falls."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(Meanwhile, with the Grips)

Beth: "Admiral, what's going on?"

Lindsay: "Well, Duncan sorta, like, disappeared. And the rest of them are digging a hole for some weird reason."

Beth: "I recommend we attack immediately."

Lindsay: "Team, Prince Chauncey and Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness say it's time we attack!"

Izzy: "First, Admiral Lindsay. A suggestion from, um, Explosivo. He says we make a Trojan taco."

Lindsay: "Ooh, I love Mexican food!"

Izzy: "Okay, first, we make a giant taco shell. Five kilometers wide. Then, we load it with beef, beans, cheese…"

Lindsay: "And jalapenos? I like it spicy."

Izzy: (Hispanic accent.) "Sí. Muy muy Caliente! But the salsa, my friends. The salsa we make… from TNT! (Gasps & goes back to normal voice.) We bring the Trojan taco to their camp, they take a tasty bite, and then… boom-boom!" (The Grips are silent)

Lindsay: "People, Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness decrees that although Mexican food is very tasty, we will not be making the Trojan taco."

Beth: [hushed, to Lindsay] "Attack! Remember?"

Lindsay: "We are going to attack so… let's go down there and fight!"

Izzy: "Aww…"

Justin: "Aw, man."

Lindsay: "Now, listen, peeps. I know you're frightened of going into battle, but I'm here to say, 'Be strong! Be fierce! Be ferocious!' Go and fight for that trunk like it's Boxing Day and you're fighting for the cutest pair of yoga pants! Show... No... Mercy!"

Justin, Izzy, and Beth: "Yeah!" (The Grips charge into battle)

Lindsay: "I'll be here when you're done!"

(At the Gaffers' camp, the Grips arrive only to find no one.)

Beth: "Where are they? I just saw them." (The Grips look around as the Gaffers are hiding in their foxhole, then they suddenly walk into a net trap.)

Duncan: "YAAAHHH!" (He swings in and cuts the rope, propelling the Grips back to base as they scream)

(The Grips land near Lindsay as she wakes up, and Beth groans)

Izzy: "Ay ay ay ay ay…"

Justin: (He finds a scratch on his face) "There's... there's a- there's a scratch. My face can't continue to take all this abuse! I'm losing it! You, you gotta let me go on leave, Admiral Lindsay!"

Lindsay: (to Beth) "Are you buying this?"

Beth: "Nope."

Lindsay: "Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness says to drop the crazy act, okay?" (She and Beth walk away)

Justin: "Izzy, you're sort of female, right? Can you help? I mean, I had Beth and Lindsay wrapped around my finger, and now I'm getting zero play. Heh. What's the deal?"

Izzy: "Honestly? I never really got it. I don't think you're so cute."

Justin: "Like I care what you think." (he gets up and leaves)

CONFESSIONAL:

Justin: Me? Not cute? Heh heh, I'll tell you who's not cute. Blind, crazy people named Izzy!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(We now cut back to Chris.)

Chris: "And... time's up!" (The Gaffers come out of their foxhole)

Heather: "I gotta say, I'm impressed."

Leshawna: "Guess our foxy-hole was a good idea after all."

Duncan: "Yeah, Harold, you did good! You did real good!"

Harold: "The team did good."

Chris: "The Gaffers have defended the chest, putting them in the winner's circle. And now, it's time to reveal to the winners… the mind-blowing secrets within this trunk! Here's what you were fighting for, team." (the trunk opens, but the Gaffers are shocked)

Duncan: "All this sadness!"

Harold: "All these tears, all this hatred, for what?"

Duncan: 'An empty trunk!"

Harold: "The madness of war!"

Harold and Duncan: "Whyyyy?!"

Chris: "I'll tell you why. Because this was actually a reward challenge!"

The contestants: "What?!"

Chris: "We were originally going to send one of the Grips home tonight, but since Owen is out of commission, we settled for a reward instead. But don't worry, we'll have a return to form in the next challenge. (he salutes) Catch you next time on Total... Drama... Action! At ease."

(End credits.)

Stay tuned for the 2nd Aftermath!