Chris: (Recapping last episode.) "Last time on Total Drama Action… we learned that war movies are brutal! At first, our contestants were flying high. But tensions soon ran deep when Grips couldn't capture the footlocker to win the challenge, despite the inspiring leadership of Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness. And while the Gaffers technically won the battle and the reward, you have to wonder if they lost the war because their biggest conflict is still with each other."

(We cut to Chris in a sports car.)

Chris: "You keep coming back for the explosive drama, I keep coming back for the perks. Car chase this week! And with only ten contestants left, the engines are on and the stereo is set to thump to the catchy opening theme song. It's time for some more Total... Drama... Action! (He drives off but crashes into a tree) Aw, *bleep*!"

(Theme song plays.)

(The episode begins in the Craft Services Tent, Heather is glaring at Duncan and Harold)

Duncan: (he's carving on the table) "What?"

Heather: "Vandal. (to Harold) Nerd." (Harold blows a raspberry at her.)

Leshawna: "We have to all stop acting like dumb babies or every one of us is going home."

CONFESSIONAL:

Harold: "Ever since Leshawna sold us all up the river for a day at the spa, I've finally come to see that she's only looking out for herself. Of course, if I looked like that, I'd probably just look at myself all day, too. (realizes what he said) Uh, but she's a bad, selfish person! Bad! So bad..."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Heather: "Come on, you guys. What Leshawna did is for the best. Nobody needs a day at the spa like she does. In fact, you could write a tell-all book about her hairdo called 'Weave Got Problems'."

Leshawna: "Nobody's gonna argue with her?"

Harold: "Sounds like an entertaining read."

Leshawna: "I'm going back to the trailer." (She walks off)

Duncan: "Try not to let the door hit your butt on the way out!"

Heather: "Door? It's a tent, idiot boy."

Duncan: "Uh, it's a figure of speech?"

Harold: "What you should've said was, 'Don't let the flap flutter y–'

Heather & Duncan: Shut up, Harold!"

Leshawna: "Those boys are gonna pay. Leshawna's revenge–" (A bag is suddenly put over her head.) Hey! (She gets taken away.)

Beth: "I feel so lucky to still be here."

Izzy: I know! I still miss Big O, but I'm still so psyched to be here!"

Justin: "I can barely contain my excitement, either. (beat) Wait, I think I feel a pimple coming in. I'll be right back." (He leaves, but as soon as he gets to the trailer, a bag is put over his head and he gets taken away.) "What the?!"

(Later, the tent roof is cut open and Chris drops in via a rope.)

Beth: "What an entrance!"

Chris: "Consider it a hint as to this week's movie genre!"

Duncan: "Is it lame-o, rock-climbing, wannabe host movies?"

Chris: "No. This week, we're paying tribute to the action-packed bank heist gangster caper film!"

Lindsay: "Uh, Chris? I think we're missing someone."

Heather: So are we. But we don't care."

Chris: "Justin and Leshawna are gone, people. Because, rescuing them is the first part of your challenge."

(The girls gasp while Duncan yawns.)

Duncan: "Oh. Pardon me."

Chris: "They've both been locked up in state-of-the-art safes, along with all the tools each team will need to commit a movie perfect bank robbery. Your job is to crack the safes, rescue your teammates, grab the equipment, and try to be the first ones to rob the First National Bank of Chris. Let's kick it, gangstas." (He tugs the rope and is pulled up) (We now cut to Justin & Leshawna stuck in 2 different bank sets.)

Justin: "Hello? Is anyone out there? (He takes the bag off his head and looks around his vault) Okay, I don't know what kind of modeling set this is, but I bet Izzy had something to do with it. I mean, there's not a single mirror in here."

Leshawna: "Dank as this bank tank is, it still beats hanging with my so-called teammates. Seriously, they've been giving me major 'tude for actually playing the game. Like they would've done anything different."

(Later, both teams are at the vaults as Harold is turning the lock.)

Heather: "Let me do it!"

Harold: "Were you the captain of Picky Steve's Lock Picking Camp? Huh? No." (Heather smacks his hand off the lock, then he does the same, and they enter a slapfight.)

CONFESSIONAL:

Duncan: "The H-Bombs, Harold and Heather, were so busy trying to figure out who's the world's biggest dweeb that they totally forgot I'm an experienced criminal! Frankly, it was a little insulting."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(Harold and Heather fight as Beth tries turning the lock.)

Lindsay: "Do you think it's like cracking an egg?"

Beth: "My boyfriend has a bad habit of cracking his knuckles. Some people say it's gross. I think it's kinda adorable. 'Cause it's him. If this safe were a giant knuckle, I'd know what to do."

(Harold gets back to turning the lock as Heather taps her foot.)

Harold: "I need concentration and quiet! The numbers aren't talking to me."

Heather: "Maybe they don't speak like an idiot!" (Pushes him down.)

Izzy: "Okay, come on, guys. We gotta redeem ourselves from the disaster challenge and figure out the combo lock."

Lindsay: "Oh. My junior high locker combination! (She turns the lock) It didn't change the whole three years I was in 8th Grade, so it must be standard!" (She tries the door, but it won't open) Oh, well, that's just bad school spirit!" (Izzy facepalms)

Heather: "The obvious way to do this is to think of combinations Chris would've come up with. What is his favorite thing in the whole world?"

Duncan: "Chris."

Heather: Exactly! His birthday. (She turns the lock, but the safe won't open, Harold imitates the buzzer which annoyed Heather.) Okay then. His measurements." (she turns the lock, but the safe won't open. Harold does the buzzing sound again.) The barcode number on his favorite hair gel?" (She tries turning the lock again, but it won't open, Harold imitates the buzzer again as it annoyed Heather even more.) "Stop doing that *bleep*!"

Izzy: (Working on the lock.) Okay... (she listens for the numbers)

CONFESSIONAL:

Izzy: "I'm so totally into the safe-cracking thing. One time I was invited to a sleepover at my friend's house, and she had this big diary safe with a combo lock. While everyone else was asleep, I did a little snooping and opened the safe and read myself to sleep. Ha ha ha! It was awesome. I never went back there again. Not sure why though. The point is, the key is to listen for the right cracks."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(Heather attempts to pick the lock with a bobby pin.)

Harold: "A bobby pin?!"

Heather: "It worked on my sister's diaries!"

Harold: "You're pathetic."

Heather: "You're pathetic-er!"

Duncan: "You're both *bleep*ing losers!"

(We now cut to The Grips sitting in front of the safe.)

Izzy: "UGH! It's hopeless! We are never getting him out of here!"

Justin: "Come on! You can't just give up on me! My mojo is taking a critical hit as it is!"

Lindsay: Mojo?"

Justin: "Aw, man... (beat) Wait, Beth, Lindsay, come here. (Beth and Lindsay put their ears to the vent) Izzy can't solve this because it's me inside the safe. But if you girls can think of something that will remind her of Owen..."

Lindsay: "We'll unleash the power of Izzy!"

Justin: "Exactly, but we don't have anything like that, food or otherwise."

Beth: "Don't worry. Back when I was single, I bought a bottle of... (She pulls out a bottle of cologne) Desperado, the fragrance of last resort. It attracts men with the same cutting-edge technology supermarkets use to attract customers!"

Justin: "Meaning?" Beth: It smells just like roast chicken.

CONFESSIONAL:

Beth: "So I'm sitting in my orthodontist's office, and Hunky McCuterson takes the seat opposite me. I grin at him, but he just thinks I'm making ouchie faces on account of the braces. (pulls out Desperado) Until I pull this baby out and spritz her on. Once something works that well, you don't let it out of your sight."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Izzy: "Are you talking about your so-called boyfriend again? Look, I already told you I'm not falling for that."

Beth: "Don't believe me? Take a whiff!" (Beth sprays the cologne)

Izzy: (sniffs) "Hmm... mm... chickeny... kinda reminds me of... OWEN! Okay! I can do this! I can do this! FOR OWEN! (Runs toward the safe) YAAAAAAAHHHHH!" (She rams her head into the safe, knocking the door down as Justin avoids getting crushed.)

Justin: "About time. (Gets worried.) Please tell me there's no pimple on me."

Lindsay: "You're good."

Justin: "Cool."

Izzy: "WHOO-HOO! What a rush! Hey, how about another spritz of... (She suddenly starts seeing her teammates as copies of Owen) Whoa... hey, Big O, since when are there three of you? I wanna kiss 'em..."

Lindsay: "Why is she looking at us like that?"

Justin: (he grabs a duffel bag) "I got our bank-robbing kit."

Beth: "Let's go rob a bank before Izzy tries to make out with us! Wow. There's something I never thought I'd say. Lindsay: "We are such good safecrackers." (the Grips run off)

(We now cut back to The Gaffers.)

Duncan: "Great, now they're in the lead. Can you tell me why we're even trying to get Leshawna out? I don't need a bunch of stupid prop equipment to rob a bank."

Heather: "Then what exactly are we waiting for?"

Harold: "We can't just leave Leshawna."

(Duncan and Heather run out, then Harold shrugs his shoulders and follows them.) (At the guys' trailer, Duncan cut up holes in two pairs of black socks to use as ski masks)

Harold: "Those are my lucky socks! (Duncan puts the "mask" over his head) Were. (Duncan then cuts up magazines to make a message) You cut up my karate magazines for a stick-up note? (Duncan just glues a picture of Harold's face over his face, then grabs a stick of deodorant and a spray can) Not my foot spray and deodorant! I need those!"

Heather: "It's true. There are limits. (Duncan tapes them together to make a gun) You're an evil genius."

(Back in the Gaffers' vault...)

Leshawna: "Huh. I'm sure they'll be here any minute. I think I'm gonna take advantage of all this peace and quiet. Mmm... (lies down for a nap, but snaps her eyes open) where are they?"

(Soon, the Gaffers, sans Leshawna, dressed up in gang attire, make it to the counter.)

Duncan: "Yoo-hoo? Anyone home? This is a robbery!"

Chris: (Pops out.) "Welcome, Gaffers! You've beaten the Grips to the scene, so you'll get first crack at the teller."

Duncan: "How is that possible? They were way ahead of us!"

(We then cut to Izzy, who is rolling back & forth around the grass, laughing.)

Izzy: "Owen! Stop! That really tickles!" (Cackles.)

(Then the rest of the Grips walk to Izzy, then several copies of Owen show up in her dream again.)

Justin: "We need to give her something to calm down!" (Gets out a bottle of water.) "Maybe a bottle of water should do it.." (Pours a bottle of water in Izzy's mouth.)

Izzy: "Wow.. Thanks for the water Owen."

CONFESSIONAL:

Justin: "Why does she think I'm Owen?!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Lindsay: (Gets out an airhorn.) "Maybe this air horn should do it.."

Justin: "Lindsay don't-" (Lindsay blew the airhorn at Izzy, but nothing happened.)

Izzy: "Sorry Owen! Didn't feel it!"

Beth: If the smell of chicken cologne worked for her, then maybe…" (Pours it on Izzy's mouth, as she rises up, back to normal.)

Izzy: "WHOA! What a dream I had!"

Justin: "Let's go!" (Realizes something's missing.) "Wait, what happened to the bank robbing tools?"

(Then they show that Izzy sat on them, which most of them are broken, and they all glare at her.)

Izzy: "What? What happened? I didn't know what was going on!"

(We now cut back to the bank set, where Duncan is seen talking to a familiar-looking teller with blonde hair)

Duncan: "Afternoon, ma'am. That's a great set of legs you got there. But right now, I'd like to focus on those lovely hands of yours. I need them to start filling this pillowcase with cash."

?: "Anything else I can do for you today… (The teller turns around, only to reveal that it's Courtney wearing a blonde wig, which she removes) Duncan?" (Duncan shrieks and faints.)

Chris: "Looks like Duncan's gone from cool as a cucumber to in a pickle. He can run... well, in this case, pass out, but he can't hide, because Total Drama Action will be right back!"

(Commercial break)

(At the teller's counter, both teams have arrived, with Justin trying to make Izzy snap out of it by slapping her many times.)

Chris: "Teams... it is my... 'honor' to report that Courtney is back for the duration of the game. And we're all 'exceedingly happy" about it.'"

Heather: "WHAT?! She got booted out fair and square."

Courtney: "Sorry, Heather. But myself and the law firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Strauss would beg to differ. We filed a wrongful dismissal lawsuit against the producers. And won."

Harold: "Good news, eh, Duncan?" (Duncan just pushes him away in annoyance.)

Chris: "So, Courtney, since you were our bank teller in the challenge- great job, by the way. You get to decide which team deserves to win first prize. Your bag of loot."

Courtney: "The choice is obvious. It's Duncan. I mean… the Gaffers. Since they were the only team that managed to get to my wicket. Congratulations." (Gives the loot to Duncan.)

Duncan: "Thank you?"

Heather: "I've seen manlier men trying on women's shoes."

Chris: "So, this means the Killer Grips win second prize!"

Justin: "What's second prize?"

Chris: "Courtney! For the rest of the game! Or… until she's eliminated!"

CONFESSIONAL:

Courtney: "Those Total Drama dirtbags have some nerve making me second place! They will definitely be hearing from my lawyer.. (Phone dialing.) Again."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Chris: "So, Grips, Gaffers, your getaway cars are waiting. Better get a move on before the cops arrive. (the teams just stand there) That means GO!" (the teams run out of the set)

Harold: "Getaway cars are always cool! That's the rule of heist movies!"

Justin: [pants] "Aston Martins maybe?"

Lindsay: "Or those groovy Mini Coopers!"

Beth: "I'm hoping for a Porsche!"

(On the hill set, both teams arrives to see piles of car parts)

Justin: "What's all this junk?" (Chris drives by in his sports car)

Chris: "These are your getaway cars, just waiting to be assembled!"

Heather: "That is so not hot."

Chris: "If the vehicles were ready to go, it wouldn't be much of a challenge now, would it?" (the castmates groan as Chris drives away before crashing) Aw, *bleep*!"

(Back in the vault...)

Leshawna: "Did they leave me here on purpose all because of one teeny tiny mistake? Okay, fine. Maybe it was a big mistake because here I am being left to rot until I'm nothing but a lifeless pile of bodacious beauty. What do these people want from me?! (beat) Okay, so lying to win a reward is evil, my bad! There, I admit it! I did a lousy thing! Now how 'bout a little forgiveness? Guys? What the hell do you say?!"

(Later, the Gaffers have finished their "car")

Harold: "They're not even getaway cars! They're go-karts!"

Duncan: "Stop whining and gimme the lugnuts."

Heather: "You're not bad at this."

Duncan: "It's just like stripping a car, except in reverse. (He stares at Courtney but crushes his wrist between the wheel and the chassis] AYYE!"

Courtney: "Ignore the sideshow and start putting together the chassis!"

Justin: "Is there something I can do where I won't get grease on my epidermis?"

Courtney: "You're kidding, right?"

Justin: "Hand modeling is one of the things that put me on the map."

Courtney: "Obviously, that would be the map of Uselessville! How did I get stuck over here? Where are the others, anyway?!"

(Meanwhile, a delusional Izzy runs on the wheels while chasing Beth and Lindsay, as they are both screaming.)

Izzy: "Quit teasing me already, Owen! Let's make some sweet hot love!" (She imagines Lindsay and Beth as clones of Owen, with their original heads.)

Lindsay: "Why does she think we're Owen?!"

Beth: "I don't know!"

(Back on the hill, Duncan had finished the go-kart and revs it up.)

Duncan: "Hop in! (The Gaffers get in and they drive by Courtney.) Hey, Courtney! Maybe you'll get to see more than just the back of me when the teams merge!" (Justin looks into the rear view mirror.)

Courtney: "At this point, I'd take it."

Heather: "Let's go, Casanova!" (the Gaffers drive off)

Courtney: "We need to be starting this challenge yesterday! Where are our wheels? Where is our team?!"

Beth: "Here we are! (she and Lindsay carry Izzy in by the arms) We managed to calm her down. But that's the good news."

Courtney: "W-What's the bad?"

Lindsay: (she holds up the busted wheels) "These are kinda toast."

Izzy: "Owen? [Beth smacks her] Aww…"

Courtney: "No wheels does not mean it's over for us! We are going to have to improvise!'

(The Gaffers drive down the hill, and they head straight for a costume rack. They scream as they crash into it, as Duncan comes out with a baby bonnet, Heather with a clown collar and red nose, and Harold in a bra, which the former two laugh at)

CONFESSIONAL:

Harold: "All right, that was humiliating. But the extra support was nice.."

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

(Meanwhile, the Grips are carrying their kart and running on foot.)

Courtney: "Faster, you deadbeats! The teams aren't called the Gaffers and the Slackers! Now move! Mush, mush!"

Beth: "Mush? We're not sled dogs!"

Izzy: "Let's pretend we are! Ruff! Ruff! ARF, ARF, ARROOO!"

Courtney: "Because you really were sled dogs, this one would've eaten you!"

(At the finish line...)

Chris: "It looks like the Gaffers are about to make a clean getaway and win the challenge!" (The Gaffers' kart backfires)

Heather: "What's happening?"

Duncan: "I think we're out of gas!"

Chris: "I may have spoken too soon, ladies and gentleman. Talk about a real holdup."

Harold: "They're gaining on us!" (Duncan tries starting the kart, but the Grips run past them)

Izzy: " Vroom! Vroom!"

Courtney: "I knew I could win this. Even with a team of complete duds!" (The Gaffers start pushing their kart)

Harold: "This is hard!"

Heather: "Try standing downwind of you without deodorant."

Courtney: "Faster! Faster! (the Grips kart falls apart) Ahh! I will not be second place!" (The Gaffers push their kart across the finish line as Chef waves the checkered flag)

Chris: "Wanna bet? (Courtney growls) First off, I'd like to congratulate both teams for choosing to go green. But in the end, the Gaffers are the winners! (the Gaffers cheer) That means I'll be seeing the Grips at tonight's Gilded Chris ceremony. And Gaffers, even though you committed the anything but perfect crime, you get to enjoy victory. And your bag of loot."

(In a trailer, the Gaffers pour out their money)

Duncan: "We're rich! Oh-ho! Look at all this–"

Heather: "Non-negotiable Chris cash. Accepted only in the Total Drama Action Craft Services Tent towards the purchase of water from the tap?!"

Harold: "Sometimes I really hate that smile of his."

(At the Gilded Chris ceremony...)

Chris: "The time has come!"

(The Gilded Chris theme plays as it cuts back to the vault. With Leshawna still stuck in there.)

Leshawna: (she hears the music) "Now tell me that is not the Gilded Chris theme! This isn't funny anymore, y'all! This is downright cruel!"

(We now cut back at the ceremony.)

Chris: "Like always, Killer Grips, one member of your team will not be receiving a coveted Gilded Chris, made of the finest Belgian chocolate. But NOT like always, and this is important to remember! This week, according to our lawyers, none of you are allowed to vote off Courtney! You got that, dudes? This show can't afford any more lawsuits! My massage budget has been sliced in half." (the Grips cast their votes, then Chef brings in the results)

Chris: "Gilded Chris Awards go to… Beth. Lindsay. Justin. (looks at the votes) Why do I have three votes to boot out Courtney when I specifically said you couldn't?"

Beth: "Guess we couldn't help ourselves."

Lindsay: "No matter what, my finger would only press the Courtney button."

Chris: "Well, that leaves us with two votes that count."

Courtney: "Izzy, you've been eliminated."

Justin: (Sighs in relief.) "Good riddance."

CONFESSIONAL:

Justin: "I'm not saying I voted for Izzy just because she went crazy. It was also because she said I'm not cute. Thing is, after the war movie challenge, Beth and Lindsay told me they were going to send me home. So you see? I didn't lose my mojo. I just needed to shake things up. Heh. With my new patented, all-time lady-killing mega flip. (he flips his hair) I'm back, baby!"

END OF CONFESSIONAL:

Izzy: "Wait, don't I get a speech or something?"

Courtney: "No! You lost the game for us!"

Chris: "Anything in your contract to stop her from speaking?"

Courtney: Um... no. But..."

Chris: "Then... a little light for my friend here!"

(The spotlight is put on Izzy, who is inexplicably in a long light green dress)

Izzy: [chuckles] Wow! I'd like to thank the academy!

Chris: "The Academy of the Gilded Chris. Trademark patented and all mine."

Izzy: "This has been the role of a lifetime! Thanks to Justin, who inspired me every day with his physical perfection and all-round level headedness. To Lindsay, who is also beautiful, with a heart as big as herself. To Beth, who motivated me by having her fat in all the right places. To Chris, who also looks hu– (The Gilded Chris theme plays again as security takes her away.) What? No! No, you can't play me off yet! To my mom, who helped hide me from the RCMP! To Owen, I hope to see you again pretty soon! I love you!" (She gets put into the Lame-o-sine and it drives off.)

Chris: "Well, we finally got rid of Little Miss Weird and Weirder. Again. For the last time. Hopefully. And that wraps up another totally dramatic episode with absolutely no loose ends to tie up. Isn't that right, Chef?"

Chef: "Hm.."

(Back in the bank vault...)

Leshawna: "Guys? Yoo-hoo? What do you say?"

(Back at the amphitheater...)

Chef: Nope.

Chris: Nah. Didn't think so. (They both walk off.)

(End credits.)

You guys already knew that was coming, right? Yes indeed Izzy's run ends here. Sorry Izzy fans.. Stay tuned for episode 14!

Votes:
Courtney (Not counted.) - Beth, Izzy, Lindsay.
Izzy - Courtney, Justin.