.

Chapter 169

One Date After Another

Leah

Nanuk was at our house - Mom had told me that with a text message.

Somehow that made me nervous. I don't know why exactly, but the thought of Nanuk didn't let me go for the rest of the morning.

I ran into Dad in the hallway after class. Dad now had advanced math class and I had physics. The classrooms were across from each other.

"What's wrong with you, little one? You seem so restless," he asked anxiously, leaning casually against the wall.

"Nanuk is at our house ... Or was earlier," I said.

Dad bristled.

"We seem to have been invited over on Saturday."

"It's a very nice gesture," he shrugged. "Or are you offended because he delivered the invitation when he knew full well you wouldn't be there?"

"Nonsense! I don't want to see him at all. Not even tomorrow. But I don't have a choice!", I said. It all went so against the grain for me!

Dad suddenly pulled me into his arms without my expecting it.

"Your favorite admirer is just coming," he whispered to me.

I snorted in annoyance, rolled my eyes, and returned the hug.

This one went totally against the grain for me, too! Chad. He was a real pain in the ass and even though I had rejected him many times, he kept trying. He just wouldn't let up.

Dad gently stroked over my back and somehow it did quite a bit of good. It calmed me down.

"He's gone," Dad broke away from me. "I know it's not easy for you with Nanuk. But completely resisting it, just not wanting to accept what's happened to you, isn't going to help you. You're no longer indifferent to each other anymore and you can't ignore each other. You experienced that for yourselves yesterday. Even if there is no love between you and Nanuk like there is between Becky and Jake or you and Marcus, you still have something in common. Therefore, you should at least allow yourselves to become friends."

I leaned back against Dad's shoulder, into his arms, and he willingly welcomed me there as well. I wanted to return to this security.

I was afraid of Nanuk. Afraid that it would develop into more than just friendship. Because I didn't want to lose Marcus. I loved him so much.

"We can't choose who we lose our heart to. If it were possible, I would never have fallen in love with a human being voluntarily. The danger was simply too great. But sometimes you have to take the risk of acting on your feelings. Because look where it got me. I hold my daughter in my arms ... Your plan can succeed, Leah, but only as long as you are honest with yourself and the people you love. You don't want to be together, so work on it together. As good friends, supporting each other along the way."

I took a deep breath and gave my dad another hug as the bell rang for class.

I snorted contemptuously at that.

Dad had it really good. Only one more hour and then he could drive home.

"I've been to school so many times, it's enough for several lifetimes. But you haven't yet!" Dad teased me.

I stuck my tongue out at him, which he acknowledged with an amused chuckle.

"Like your mother!", I heard while he was still shaking his head and laughed.

The rest of the school day was rather boring, so afterwards I sat with Lisa on the small sofa, armed with math books.

Math wasn't a favorite subject for either of us, but together we were strong. Oh well. I'd probably have to ask Dad a question or two about it again.

Done, I dropped my head on the book after realizing that I was considering whether Nanuk was also having trouble with math and just couldn't get him out of my head.

"Take comfort. The politics study group at Becky's isn't getting anywhere right now either!" said Lisa after her cell phone beeped.

She showed me a picture she had gotten from Becky.

Brandon and Jake sat on the floor with popcorn and threw it at each other in the meantime. According to the caption, they had not been able to agree on an answer and were now fighting it out like real men.

Okay, if they weren't really learning anymore, then we didn't need to!

Since I was leaving soon anyway, we just chatted about whatever while I packed up my stuff.

Tomorrow, like every Wednesday, there would be no practice, so we three girls arranged to go for a little stroll around town in the afternoon. A new store had opened. Becky had to go to the stationery store, Lisa needed condoms, and my favorite shampoo was almost empty.

Mom always brought me the wrong one. Namely, what I once thought was great about five years ago!

We called Claire, Jason's girlfriend, to see if she wanted to join. She did. She was always very touched when we thought of her.

But then I was already driving to Portland.

To Marcus.

We had an appointment at a bistro on the outskirts of town.

Marcus, his two best friends Nate and Leo, and one of their girlfriends, named Annie, were already sitting at a table together. I already knew all of them. It was always nice with them. Nate, the one without a girlfriend, was single and very unhappy about this state.

I greeted everyone in turn and saved the most important one for last.

I gently stroked the scar on his eyebrow as he tapped my freckle. As our lips devotedly demonstrated that they were made for each other, a feeling of affirmation spread.

It was exactly this man with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

And this life began with a really enjoyable evening.

The first thing I did was to order something to eat.

Dinner at Lisa's had been delicious, but no wolf portions were served there.

We chatted hilariously and picked out an acceptable favorite for the single guy. With Annie I got along excellently, so we quickly sorted out all the chicks who defined themselves by their clothes, were overly made up, chuckled all the time only affected and so on. Only three remained.

One blonde, one brunette, one redhead. Perfect choice, as they all three seemed to have an appealing figure. Such was the unanimous opinion of the gentlemen at our table. And whom of them did he address? Of course, the one who didn't care for men.

Nate simply remained a hard-luck loser.

Last time he had chosen someone who had been leafing through a wedding magazine. Once it was one who was waiting for her boyfriend, who then forcefully introduced himself .

I shared a dessert with Marcus. A chocolate cake with caramel filling.

I would have liked to repeat that. For two, on the upper floor of my room, with pleasant music, on a starry night. And without Dad on the premises! However, I believed Dad that he was not watching or listening to us more than he could prevent.

At some point Marcus suddenly pulled me up from the chair and danced with me, although that was not really something meant to happen here.

But it was the song that Lisa had ordered for us back in 'Twilight'. Whenever we heard it, we also danced to it.

We even encouraged the other guests to dance.

Closely embraced, his warm arms were around me, I cradled his back, the smell of a walk on the beach at sunset. Everything was perfect.

But slowly we had to go home. It was already approaching half past ten and we still had a bit of a drive ahead of us. We said goodbye to Leo, Annie, and Nate and went to the cars.

That was really a disadvantage of our life situation. We were here with two cars and would accordingly drive home separately.

But I still got a pretty stunning kiss for the long journey.

"Be careful you don't get followed by any shady guys!" he smiled at me still challenging.

"Maybe I'm just waiting to run into one of those and I'll just take them to my place!"

"Promise?"

I shrugged my shoulders and got in the car.

And I was followed by a shady guy. All the time! But I would definitely take him with me.

I was in the middle of my daydream of what else I was about to do with this guy when I was startled out of it.

My cell phone rang. Or rather, my car's hands-free system, which connected to my phone by itself. The touchscreen showed a number I didn't recognize. I pressed the answer button on the steering wheel.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Leah. It's Nanuk," the pleasant voice replied. "I hope I'm not disturbing you with anything."

"No. I'm just in the car on my way home. You're not interrupting," I replied. I don't know why, but somehow it calmed me to hear his voice.

"That's good. I also just wanted to hear how you were doing now that Marcus knows. Your mother couldn't necessarily answer me, because you dear schoolchildren were probably all still very tired this morning," he smiled unmistakably.

"You do realize that's pretty unfair, right?", I snapped.

"So? Indulge me in the fun!"

"Ass!", I muttered to myself.

"Did you say something?"

"YES. ASS!"

He laughed. Loudly.

"I've been in school long enough and I'm very glad that's behind me. You're getting there besides! I suppose you will want to study something, don't you?"

"Yep ... I will."

"And will you also tell me what that will be?"

"Neurobiology," I answered curtly.

A moment of silence.

"Really impressive!"

"I don't understand why that's everyone's answer!"

"Because it just is, Leah. Neuroscience is an interdisciplinary field of research. It combines the fields of medicine, computer science, psychology, physics, and biology, all of which focus on the nervous system."

"Yes. So?"

"You're sort of going to be doing five majors instead of just one. And apparently you're fully aware of that."

"Well, sure." What was his problem with that?

"And that's just what's impressive!"

"As long as there's no math coming into it, it's manageable."

"Math?"

"Yeah, I'm at war with that," I grumbled a little.

"I can understand that. It was never my subject either."

"Well, you see," I felt completely vindicated.

"So, how are you doing?" asked Nanuk after a moment in which I basked a little haughtily in my affirmation.

His voice had changed. Nanuk sounded sensitive. I felt the urgency in his words. That the question was very important to him.

"I'm really fine, Nanuk. Marcus didn't freak out or anything after you left either. Everything is as it should be," I answered honestly.

"That's good."

"And you? Are you well, too?", I asked. Somehow this question burned inside me.

"Yes, everything is fine."

"That's good," I said, rather relieved. I did feel a little silly for saying the same thing as he did, but I couldn't think of any other answer. "I'm almost home," I announced as I turned into our street, whereby I had Marcus consistently in my rearview mirror.

"Then I guess we'd better call it a day. Are we still on for tomorrow?", he still asked.

"Yes. Eight o'clock at the lake."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then, Leah. Have a good night," he said very meekly.

I literally saw his eyes before me. Black as the night, with twinkling stars in them.

"Thanks, good night to you too Nanuk!", I replied likewise and hung up with a small sigh as I parked my little Mercedes in the driveway.

Jake was already there, too. I parked behind him and Marcus behind me.

Here it became more and more crowded.

Shaking my head, I got out and walked to the front door. Strong hands firmly placed themselves on my hips and pulled me back a little.

"Hey, little wildcat! All alone in the dark?" a dark voice murmured dangerously.

"My boyfriend told me to beware of dangerous guys!", I said.

"And do you always listen to your boyfriend?"

"Sometimes more, sometimes less," I answered indeterminately. My boyfriend didn't seem to like that very much, but the guy behind me did.

He began to kiss my nape and the side of my neck.

Wonderfully intoxicating. And he actually caught the ticklish spot under my ear, so that I squealed. I had but smoothly forgotten.

I took flight forward, directly towards the front door through which I tried to save myself. He still caught me, but I managed to prevent him from reaching the spot again.

"Have a wonderful good evening!", Dad wished us very formally as we stumbled through the door.

He stood in the living room with Mom.

Apparently they had been dancing, the way they were holding on to each other.

"Hi ...," I still squeaked, but cleared my throat to sort out my vocal cords.

"Hello," Marcus sorted himself out altogether.

"Mealtime!" my little bro called out from the kitchen, with a box of pizza in his hand.

Mmm ... Sometimes Jake had really good ideas!

I went directly to meet him.

"Becky?" I asked in wonder as she came up behind him with Ced. It was Tuesday night. Not a weekend.

"Whatever happened to your overnight rule?" asked Marcus, irritated as well.

"It's suspended!" noted Dad.

"At least until Eliza and Henry call here and ask if they have another daughter!" added Mom.

Jake arrived by me and held out the pizza box for me to grab.

Unsolicited?!

"Has the removal of this rule harmed your brain or why do you share voluntarily?", I asked and helped myself directly before he changed his mind. Marcus also got a piece, and I even got a kiss on the cheek?! I seriously started to worry!

"I have you to thank for that! ... You and Nanuk!" Jake explained and I choked and coughed.

"Why would that be?" asked Marcus attentively.

"Through Leah and Nanuk, I came to understand that our ban, while perhaps well-intentioned, has since become equally pointless for both parties. We wanted to avoid that neither Jake nor Becky surrender to the other. That they lose themselves as independent persons and not develop a dependency. For Jake, these intentions have become obsolete with the imprinting. Nothing is above Becky for him and not being with her causes him pain. And that Becky doesn't lose her own personality, Jake will take care of that - if not her all by herself. Through your little incident on New Year's Eve with Mike, you showed me that Becky is once again the strong girl who doesn't let anyone intimidate her. Becky was completely caught off guard and scared at first, but it was her first encounter with him and in a place where she didn't expect it. In this respect, one can understand her first reaction. Moreover, she regained her composure quite quickly. And she draws this strength from Jake's presence. So what's the point of maintaining this rule?" explained Dad.

"Who is Nanuk?" asked Becky.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

Marcus looked down at the floor and seemed biased.

I took his hand.

He belonged to me, not Nanuk!

But I - chewing - looked at Jake - also chewing - questioningly.

I don't know, but somehow I thought he would have at least told it to Becky.

Jake swallowed quickly.

"We got here just a few minutes before you did. I didn't assume you'd want to tell the others about him, but I hadn't had a chance for Becky yet," he explained himself.

I nodded and then looked further to Becky.

"I imprinted," I said straight out. "On another wolf named Nanuk. We ran into him, his brother and a friend of theirs on Saturday ..."

So we told Becky what a bad joke fate had come up with just to spite me.

Because that's what it seemed like to me.

Also, what we had thought up to trick this so-called providence.

Marcus didn't say a word about it, but continued to hold my hand tightly with his.

Regardless of how screwed I felt with my imprinting, I felt very sorry for Marcus. I had absolutely no idea how he must feel about it. Of course, it was already clear to me that he wasn't exactly thrilled about it.

Becky listened to everything calmly, exchanging sympathetic glances with Marcus, questioning ones with Jake, uncomprehending ones with Dad, who unraveled her intermittently entangled thoughts. She understood that Nanuk and I just wanted to disregard it and that's why she hadn't been told anything yet. But she also understood now, hugging Jake tightly, why she was allowed to spend the nights here again now after all, provided they didn't overdo it. That it actually pierced his marrow and bone when she wasn't with him.

"Don't you then have that burning sensation when Nanuk isn't around?" she asked, though.

"Yesterday, yes. I have consistently ignored the rising heat since Saturday and have been fighting it. Yesterday evening, I lost the battle as my thoughts drifted further and further in his direction. I had been worried about him. Mostly about Kate. Wondered if maybe he had said something about our bond after all and how she might have reacted ... Kate, by the way, is afraid of him as a wolf, even though they must be one and a half feet shorter than we are!"

"It makes her unsympathetic to me. She has no idea how cool it is to be carried through the forest on your back," Becky said lightly and gave Marcus a high-five.

I took advantage of this small obvious satisfaction of the two and pulled Marcus in front of me. Gently I kissed his lips and returned his smile.

"And today?", Jake interrupted my comfort. "You haven't seen him since yesterday."

I continued to smile in love at my boyfriend.

"Today I had a wonderful evening with the man I love!", I stated and received another kiss for the answer.

"No burning?", Jake dug deeper.

I rolled my eyes.

"No!" I said a little defiantly, but I caught Dad's look, whereby I remembered our conversation this morning. Honesty!

I bit my lower lip.

"When I was with Lisa, I thought about Nanuk, and I felt the warmth inside me. Although I was just thinking if maybe he was also at war with math. After that, I didn't have a chance to think about him ... But on the way here, he called me. He wanted to know how I was doing. In the course of talking, I realized that I wanted to know that from him, too," I now admitted.

Marcus was still standing in front of me, and I saw how his eyes twitched and he lowered his gaze.

I put my hands to his cheeks so he would look at me again.

"Now there's no heat that has anything to do with Nanuk," I whispered - unnecessarily - and winked at my boyfriend. The heat that was now burning inside me had more to do with Marcus' hands on my thighs.

Dad cleared his throat in the background, and Marcus and I stifled our chuckles.

"Nanuk was there this morning when you were all at school. His family invited us over on Saturday," Mom said.

"Whom in particular?" inquired Jake, and I saw him squint at Marcus as he did so.

"All of us who are sitting here now. Including Ced, Becky, and Marcus. Kate will be there too," Mom stated emphatically that our whole family was invited.

"I not only think that the invitation is a decidedly nice idea," Dad began to say, as Ced yawned heartily in his arms. He looked to me and Marcus. "It's also a good opportunity for you two to get to know Nanuk and Kate as a couple. And they you. Your plan relies on each other's infallible knowledge of how happy the other is, even when you're not with him. In this respect, you can get a picture of each other on Saturday ... You have seen Kate in a state that apparently does not correspond to her nature, as far as I could get from the general thoughts of his family. And you, Marcus, were also a little out of sorts yesterday, which is of course due to the unusual situation. Meeting together in a relaxed atmosphere, I think, can be very beneficial to your plan."

"Relaxed atmosphere?" questioned Becky.

"When five active wolves and two former wolves from different tribes squat on top of each other in a small space?", I asked as well.

"Plus a vampire, his baby, and his wife, who he's going to 'kill'?", Jake dug deeper.

"And the uninvolved people who probably don't know what to say about it either?" interjected Marcus questioningly.

All in all, I couldn't really imagine it being relaxed. Rather oppressive.

"We're invited to come to this secluded Native American compound on Saturday," Mom said, seeming to consider how Nanuk might have said it.

"You mean where they all dress and act like real Native Americans from centuries past?", I dug deeper.

She nodded.

"Nanuk told me about it. The Pequawket Native Americans who still live in the area meet there to preserve the old traditions through the generations. They used to go there almost every weekend when they were kids, and there's supposedly always something going on."

"Yes, exactly. He said the first weekend after school vacation is always extra busy because everyone is back from vacation."

"How many are they there then?"

"Nanuk said they were not a hundred people in all who lived here. But all of them would also never be there at the same time. There would be no appointments or anything there. People would come when they felt like it. Only one family was always there because they own the property and they live on the edge of it," I explained.

With this statement, we were sent to bed.

It was already approaching midnight again.

Dad announced that he would like to send us to bed tomorrow at nine, but he could forget that! After my unerring hearing none of us went immediately to bed to sleep. We all came up with something even more exciting ...

The next morning, I was standing in the front doorway to say goodbye to Marcus when, with a glance, I noticed something I had wanted to address yesterday.

"Dad!", I called him to me.

"Yes, little one?" he quickly stood with us as well.

"Did you actually consider something for that, too?", I asked, making a dissolute hand gesture.

Everyone else joined to look at the problem.

There was chaos in our driveway! Six cars and a motorcycle were parked there. A dark blue Audi, two black Mercedes, Mom's Honda, a blue BMW, Esmé's silver Lexus, and a dark Jaguar. Dad had no solution, since Mom expressly forbade an underground parking garage.

So we set out for school little by little.

"Hello, Leah," Ben greeted me in the second lesson suddenly very friendly.

"Hi ...", I said.

Suspiciously.

Usually, my ex and I just nodded politely to each other. We weren't together for almost four months now. Weird. Seemed like half an eternity. However, a lot had happened since then. And then he really got ready to talk to me in a flirtatious way? For the whole hour? Are you crazy?

"Ben. It's so over between us! Leave me alone!" I just boiled over when the school bell rang, and I quickly packed up my things and stormed out in a huff.

Dad stood across from the door, smirking.

No idea why he was there, but I practically threw myself into his arms. I felt the tears of screaming rage in my eyes, which made me even angrier.

"A vicious circle!" he continued to smirk.

Whispering, he explained that he couldn't ignore my anger boiling up and was drawing near to my rescue. Perhaps it would have been more Ben's rescue from wild animal attacks. He was not quite sure about that.

I looked at Dad rather crossly, but I was laughing again.

Otherwise, school went around pretty slowly, with me getting increasingly nervous.

Did my restlessness have anything to do with Nanuk? Absolutely not! Nanuk was just a young man like any other. Nice, friendly ... and also extremely good-looking.

I forced myself to think of Akai instead of Nanuk.

I liked him. He was so carefree and always seemed to be in a good mood. And no less handsome than his older brother. Oh, my God, Leah! Pull yourself together!

The little stroll through the city with my best girlfriends luckily brought me to other thoughts.

It was only a little after six when we finished dinner, yet I packed my things.

I didn't want to sit down at my desk now and then possibly be late for the lake. Since only geography was on my Dad-made study plan for today, which I didn't have any significant problems with, I might as well study with my book by the lake. Mom hadn't turned in the key to the cabin yet. So I might as well sit there with snacks, my textbook, and something to drink. Besides, I would also have peace and quiet there to study.

So I packed everything into a backpack, including my clothes, and ran off.

Even a little before I reached the cabin, I phased back and got fully dressed. Including my bracelet and ring from Marcus.

Better safe than sorry. Not that he was already waiting for me, I was much too early.

Nanuk was not there yet, which made me sigh involuntarily. I distributed the things I had brought with me and began to work through the various topics.

As I said, I had never really had any difficulties with geography, but for the midterm exam everything needed to be roughly reviewed again.

I was immersed in a topic when there was a soft knock on the door, and it was immediately opened. I literally jumped up from the chair without having thought about it.

Nanuk. He was there! He was really there! And we held each other tightly. As if we would never want to let go of each other again. It felt like a weight had been lifted from me. As if something inside me was now comforted. My heart raced as I felt his warmth, breathed in his scent. All that was missing were the black eyes of a clear night, but I would see them soon.

Minutes passed before we moved again, disengaging from each other a bit. His hands slid to my neck, and he just looked at me for a long moment. As I did him.

"It's good to see you!" he said, velvety smooth.

"It's better, kind of more important than I expected," I admitted. "But you're pretty early," I smiled immediately.

I had gotten a text from Marcus just before he arrived. It was just seven o'clock and Marcus had been on the way to the diner for his shift. But we had actually only arranged to meet at eight.

"To be honest, I couldn't wait to see you," he said a touch sheepishly, but immediately became a tiny bit challenging. "Besides, you've been here much earlier," he noted.

"I've been studying!", I pointed to my book evidencingly.

He glanced at the open page and in the process helped himself to my notes.

"Geography. Do you need help with that?"

"A quick look, without looking at the cover of the book. Compliments!", I expressed.

"The geological differences between geographic continents. Come on, Leah! I almost recognized that blindfolded!" he said condescendingly.

Huuhh ... I had offended the geology student. I was sorry for that! So not at all, namely!

Therefore I chuckled rather ungallantly. However, I then actually asked him something about the opened page.

I had not been able to pay attention today. Because of Ben!, I thought grimly and growled inside myself.

Thus he explained to me the details where I had not been able to follow the teacher. He radiated an inner peace, which was transferred to me. I listened to his words while one of our hands played with each other. He explained more than I had missed from the lesson, but I did not interrupt him.

It was kind of nice.

"I brought you something, by the way. From my mom," I said afterwards, reaching into my backpack. "These are the phone numbers of Billy Black, my grandpa, and Seth Clearwater. Seth has been a wolf for a good twenty years. Billy's generation was skipped, but since my dad was a wolf and Billy is on the Council of Elders, he always knew about everything. I guess he got all excited when he heard there were other wolves here, but Mom didn't know if she could just give out your number," I said over the card I handed him.

"My grandpa isn't quite over the fact that we're not unique, either. I'm sure they'll have a hell of a lot to say to each other! He's got a whole bunch of questions," Nanuk laughed heartily, while his eyes sparkled beautifully.

"Why don't you call him directly," I suggested. "I mean your grandpa and give him the number."

He did. He took his cell phone out of his pants pocket and dialed.

"Hello, Shanti. Here is your favorite grandson," he announced.

"Oh ... Akai! I'm glad you called!", I heard her and Nanuk grimaced offended.

I was sure that she just wanted to annoy Nanuk.

"Yes, thank you too!" he nagged playfully. "Do you want to please your husband?" he asked immediately.

Shanti answered in the affirmative and Nanuk gave her Billy's phone number.

"You call her by her first name? Not Grandma or something?" I asked when he hung up.

"She says she knows how old she is. We don't have to remind her."

I smiled. I just saw the display of his cell phone go dark, but not yet turn off. One picture was therefore still clearly visible. A picture of Kate and Nanuk. I reached out and looked at the snapshot.

A happy couple. Undoubtedly in love with each other. It made me sad somehow and yet it also pleased me.

"That was a few weeks ago. We were out with friends in Boston."

"You look good together," was all I said, putting the phone back on the table.

"You with Marcus as well. As far as I can tell after Monday night," he muttered.

"I think Monday was not a benchmark. Neither for Kate nor for Marcus."

He nodded.

"Yesterday in the bistro he was as usual. As if Monday had not been," I reflected more to myself, but Nanuk raised his gaze attentively.

"You guys went out together yesterday?" he asked.

"Yes. He's actually from Portland. He goes to school there and has all his friends there. That's where we were yesterday with friends of his. It was a nice evening."

"Tell me about it," he said, sitting down more in my direction with interest.

So I told and punctuated with pictures from my phone. I also asked him about his day yesterday.

After all, he was still on vacation. So to speak.

He had also gone out with Kate and taken pictures. I liked it when he happily told something, even if it was about Kate.

But afterwards we both became quiet.

I didn't know what to say. It was just strange. Was I betraying one when I was with the other? Did I have the right to feel very comfortable with both of them? Did I then have to feel guilty about the other? Should it bother me if Nanuk had gone out with Kate? Or should I be happy about it?

"Shall we go for a walk?" he asked cautiously.

I nodded, so together we walked into the fresh cold but clear air and strolled along the shore.

Well, the cold was of quite little interest to either of us, but it did good.

"My grandpa doesn't think our plan can work," he muttered after a few yards. "He wishes it for us, if that's what we want, but he doesn't believe in it."

"When I look at Jake and Becky, I can't imagine it either," I admitted. "But when I'm with Marcus, that's all I want."

"I feel the same way. My grandparents are so unspeakably happy together. They always have been. They bicker and get annoyed now and then, as I guess every couple does, but I've never seen them really argue. They always agree with each other and often know in advance what the other is going to say. They've been together for over sixty years and can still be as silly and in love as teenagers ... And it all started with a single glance, after Grandpa had phased for the first time. Before that, they couldn't stand each other ..."

He said nothing more, although I had the feeling that he wanted to say more. Therefore I spoke.

"I had a little talk with my dad yesterday. Do you know what he said?", I asked rhetorically. How could he possibly know? "He said our plan can succeed, but only if we're completely honest ... Honest with Marcus and Kate. Honest with ourselves. But also honest with each other."

Nanuk was silent for three yards.

"Your dad is a wise man!" he then said.

Another four yards. Then he stopped, which I did with him in the same way and also turned a little in his direction.

"Then I'll be honest," he started, taking a deep breath. "For the past few months, I was sure I'd found in Kate the woman I could be as happy with as my grandparents have been for so long. And then you crossed my path. I love Kate, still do. Just the same as I ever did. But you ... are ... so ... I don't know. I can't find the words to describe it. I don't want to be connected to you. But with you ..."

"... everything just feels even better. Familiar, like we've known each other for ages. And like everything is just fine when we're together," I finished his thought.

"Yes!" he confirmed.

I turned away, breathed in the clear air, and looked across the black surface of the lake.

"Being with you, near you, feels way too good. Better than it should. I feel like with you I could get a hold of anything, get through anything. As long as you were there, everything would be easy ... But at the same time I love Marcus and want to be with him forever. Yesterday I didn't waste a thought on you. I was happy and felt free. Then you called and I felt guilty. At the same time, I can't even tell which one of you I feel guilty about."

"I want Kate, not you. And yet I'm drawn to you. I want to know how you are or what you are doing. My thoughts take on a life of their own when I'm not distracted. It seems to me like everything is revolving around you," Nanuk said, taking one of my hands and using it to turn me toward him.

We stood directly in front of each other. Only a few inches separated us, and his eyes held me captive.

"Holding your hand makes my skin tingle. You smell so incredibly good, like a clear spring morning in the forest. Your eyes make me confused. Especially when they look at me like they do now!" whispered Nanuk, as if he were caught in a delirium.

Like myself.

His hands pushed against my cheeks in a demanding way.

"I would do almost anything to feel your sweet lips on mine again. To experience a kiss like that again. To let you intoxicate me with all my senses!"

A thumb ran incredibly gently over my mouth that I hardly felt it.

My lips blazed up. I drowned in his words. In the feelings he described. Because they were mine.

"And yet we don't really want to! We don't want to hurt Marcus and Kate," I muttered.

Our heads fell with our foreheads against each other.

This little gesture cost us both a lot of effort. An effort to ensure that our lips would not meet after all.

I pushed my arms around his body and his slid around my shoulders. Tightly we embraced each other.

This chaos of emotions was really exhausting. Doing the right thing was exhausting. What was actually still the right thing?

"We shouldn't see each other anymore!", I stated after a moment.

Startled, he backed away from me.

"I mean, purely by the head. We know what we want or don't want. That's where little meetings like this are definitely not good. No one knows what you and I are doing or not doing here. Marcus and Kate will think their part, even though they may not ask or say anything about it. This moment, just now ... this temptation ...", I tried to say, chewing on my lower lip to quench the demanding flames.

I pulled myself together and turned away from him.

So that I did not continue to see those wonderful lips in front of me. And his equally desiring look.

"We should just not see each other anymore! ... But I don't think I can live without you!", so I stated once again, grumpy and stamping my foot.

"It's comforting to know that you're just as confused as I am," he smiled softly behind me, probably a little relieved as he had coped my mood.

Took a moment.

"Yes, I am!" I admitted bluntly, sighing in a managed manner.

"You're right. We shouldn't, but we can't help it anymore. If I imagine I would never see you again ..." he reflected, but didn't continue speaking, as if something prevented him from continuing.

A frightening pang of emptiness ran through my body and made me tremble as I pictured to myself not seeing Nanuk again.

A hand rested on my shoulder, and I instantly turned back to him.

Nanuk was there. Everything was good.

We smiled tentatively.

"Dad also said, by the way, that if we get together with Kate and Marcus on Saturday, it might help us."

"So we can see what we don't want to destroy for the other?" he dug deeper.

I nodded and he grinned.

"Akai came up with the idea!"

Yes, we had a real problem generally speaking, but at least we knew what we wanted.

We strolled on, holding hands and chatting. Or we threw stones into the water. Actually, they were supposed to skip over the surface of the water, but we couldn't manage that. We looked for flat stones on the shore, but apparently we were just too stupid for that.

"Look," Nanuk held out a rock to me.

Well, there was no way that would work with this one, it was too big and bulbous, but the shape intrigued me. Us, I should say. It was a heart. A bit misshapen, granted, but you could still make it out. A deep crack ran right through the middle.

We each held one side of the heart, which was a good eight to ten centimeters in diameter. We broke it and each kept one half for ourself.

It was after ten o'clock by now, which is why we should leave soon. Hand in hand we strolled back to the hut. He insisted on taking me home.

If you could call it that on four paws each.

"Don't argue, Leah! I'm not letting ... my ladyfriend? ... walk home alone in the night and fog, even if she is faster, bigger and stronger than me!", he determined imperiously.

"Your ladyfriend?" I asked, chuckling. I found the designation somehow funny. So really funny.

"Can you think of anything more appropriate?" he chuckled as well.

"Nope ...", I had to admit though.

In the hut I undressed and packed my things. He was waiting outside, around the corner.

Polite, I thought to myself. I had to lock the door, too, which I would certainly not manage as a wolf.

Our joint run through the forest was again as beautiful as the way to him on Monday. We made little races, goofed around, chased each other.

Hearing his constant thoughts was pleasant. He wasn't thinking about Kate or our curious situation. He was simply enjoying this moment. The outdoors, the forest, me. It could all be so simple ...

Thank you for reading!