A Marriage that Started a Legend

by IJustShowedUp

Follows canon but with my own arranged marriage spin on it. What happens when Hunith makes a mistake and is forced on the run with her infant son? What happens when Camelot knights find her twenty years later? What happens when Arthur learns he's betrothed to a peasant boy? Will Merlin be able to stand among royalty? Will these two different boys survive each other? Review!

105. Chapter 105

Arthur wondered if he had felt as stressed out as he was now, on the day of his wedding. He couldn't say he remembered or not. It had to have been the most confusing day of his life. But confusing didn't exactly mean stressed, though Arthur was sure he must have been. But his wedding was a day of the past, and not a memory that he liked to focus on. In fact, he rather liked spending his day by imagining the wedding had never happened in the first place. Arthur would have been living his normal day-to-day life, and the name 'Merlin' would have never entered his vocabulary.

His father no longer brought Merlin up whenever the two of them conversed. Or at least, he didn't do that as often as he had when they had first been married to each other. Arthur could finally start to relax, and not panic, thinking his father was going to give him another assignment that needed to be done so that people didn't catch on that it was just an unfortunate arrangement. Something like taking Merlin out, trying to do things that a couple might have done. Nobody would think their marriage was anything but, if they were seen playing their roles in public.

There was a reason his father had been so proud of him when Arthur had stepped in, and protected that consort of his from those knights that had grabbed him when they brought his father the head of the one that had been killing their kingdom. Because the king had seen it as Arthur stepping in to play his role as a doting husband, without Uther having to enforce the action. Even if that hadn't been on Arthur's mind as he did it. But over the last month, three since they've been married by Arthur's estimation, Merlin was now starting to become old news.

Or, that was at least how Arthur preferred to see their life. His father had thrown himself into making all the final preparations for this treaty to go through. And it was all finally starting to line up, as Bayard and Uther finally seemed to come to an agreement through the letters they've been writing, on how it should go. And now, the only thing missing was Bayard's signature to the contract that had already been drafted up by the kingdom's archive keeper: Geoffrey. Well…they were missing Bayard's signature, and the presence of their kingdom's consort. His Consort. Who has seemed to vanish the one time Arthur actually needed him.

The very first stop Arthur had made after his father sent him to drag Merlin's arse to the entrance hall so they could get the formalities of meeting Bayard out of the way, had been what Arthur had thought would be the most logical step. Gaius. After all for whatever godforsaken reason, Merlin was still choosing to live there rather then the much nicer suite that rested at the side of Arthur's own. But…as Arthur would come to find out, Merlin wasn't there at all. Which he could honestly say, had flown him for a complete loop. The prince had been half expecting for the consort to be sitting in a closet or something, waiting until he came calling for him. Merlin would need to be dusted off a bit, but there would ultimately be no problems with getting him to where they needed to be.

Somehow, it hadn't occurred to Arthur that the other boy might not be waiting around for him. That Merlin may have formed a little life of his own, where he did not sit around waiting for Arthur to collect him for the next 'royal showing' they needed to put on. So, when Arthur bursted into Gaius' chambers and startled the man working at one of his many desks, one could've imagined his confusion when Gaius told him that the consort had already left earlier that morning. Arthur had almost not believed it at first, and he had been on the verge of climbing the steps to Merlin's room-convinced that the boy was just trying to waste his time again-when Gaius had kicked him out.

Arthur couldn't have said for sure what exactly had set the other man off. One second, Arthur had been about to storm up the stairs and drag Merlin down to the entrance hall. And then the next, Gaius had been herding him out of the room, somehow managing to get Arthur to the door before the prince knew exactly what was happening. Gaius had briefly rambled on to Arthur, that Merlin had gone for a walk earlier during that very same day. And Gaius didn't know when he'd return. Arthur had tried to protest, but then the door was being closed in his face. Loudly, and firmly, and a non-verbal 'don't come back here' if Arthur'd ever see one.

Arthur had wanted to stop for a second, and find out what was wrong with Gaius. But, Arthur reasoned to himself, Gaius was probably just overworked. He had done a lot during the sickness, so maybe it would've been prudent if Arthur discussed this with his father. Maybe Gaius would feel better after a short trip away, for him to recuperate. A month it may have been, but Gaius was an old man. And he could very well still be suffering the effects that working twenty four hours a day would cause the elderly. But this was something Arthur would have to consider on another day.

Since Arthur didn't know exactly how long it would take for Bayard to arrive, and didn't know if he would take a few moments to rest in the chambers that had been set aside for him, or would rather meet with his father first…there really wasn't any time for Arthur to do anything extra. Merlin, for what was probably the first time since they've met, was going to be Arthur's first priority. As his father had said, Bayard would be expecting to meet Arthur's new consort whenever he arrived. It would be rude to deny Bayard that, moreso since they were trying to give him a good impression of then having a united home.

Arthur wouldn't be able to stop until he had his eyes on Merlin. Wouldn't be able to stop until he could get close enough that his hands could touch. Wouldn't be able to stop until Merlin was in the entrance hall, waiting for Bayard to arrive with the rest of them. But the problem was…Gaius was his only lead to where the boy could be. But if he truly wasn't here, and the physician wasn't trying to hide him for whatever odd reason…Arthur didn't know where to look. But he did know standing around here was going to get him not one step closer to finding him.

The next stop Arthur decided to make, was the only other place the prince would have thought the other boy would have gone. Morgana's. As much as Arthur loathed the idea that Morgana had befriended Merlin only because she knew it would irritate him, that was literally the only other place that he could think of for where Merlin could be. When he arrived, the lady had been sitting down in front of her vanity, and brushing a comb through her long hair. As if she didn't have a single thing better in the world to do then sit herself in that chair and play around with different hair styles she could wear.

Gwen had been there as well, standing off by the bed as she straightened out one of the many dresses that Morgana owned. Arthur didn't even notice that Gwen didn't look up when he arrived, something that she'd usually do if only for politeness sake. If Arthur hadn't been scanning the room for Merlin-he wouldn't be in there either, as he would find out-then maybe he may have noticed how stiff Gwen has gotten when he had entered. Arthur may not have thought much of Gwen in the last month, but if he had, then maybe he would have remembered the last time he had been inside of this room.

When he had stormed in this room, armed and with a small unit of knights behind him. With every intention of arresting Gwen, and dragging her into a nightmare she would always have to live with. Freedom as Gwen would learn, meant absolutely nothing if she was still suffering the effects of her time in prison. Her mouth was practically sealed shut, and her eyes didn't drift away from the deep purple wrap Morgana would be wearing later that night. Gwen played with the edges of Morgana's dress, knowing that she would probably burst into tears if she had to see Arthur.

Arthur was only a physical reminder of what she had been through. A face in her nightmares that creeped its way out of the shadows, looking at her with a dark expression across his face. His hard voice echoing in the back of her mind 'arrest her,' as if all the years of duty and servitude she had dedicated straight to the crown had meant absolutely nothing. Gwen would be the first one that said she didn't like how she reacted to the prince's presence, but she felt as if she'd been stripped down to her bones. And Arthur…the prince made her sad. Though nowhere near as bad as she was sure he made Merlin.

And then Arthur had demanded that Morgana tell him where Merlin was. If Gwen had been holding an item in her hands, then she had no doubt that she would have dropped it. The item shattering in places while Gwen looked horrified that Arthur wanted to cause more damage to Merlin's psyche, drawing attention to herself. But luckily, she was not. And it took Gwen everything she had to resist not racing from the room without looking back to see if Arthur had noticed the strange reaction from the 'serving girl'. The least that Gwen could do was warn Merlin that the prince was coming for him…

Morgan's had seen though. Unlike Arthur, who would forever be content with ignoring the presence of the one's beneath him, Morgana saw her. And reacted as she should, rising to her feet to interfere before any move could be made. Morgana had snarled at Arthur, going from calm to incensed within seconds, spitting out that Arthur would know exactly where Merlin was at this moment. If he had bothered to check in on the other boy even once in the last month. Maybe Arthur would be aware of anything, if he would have taken a single second to visit him.

Arthur had flushed, growling angrily underneath his breath, since Morgana couldn't do things the easier way, and just tell him sh hadn't seen him either. If the prince didn't know any better, he would have thought there was some kind of conspiracy going on. Among the people who for whatever reason, wanted to keep Merlin out of his grasp. First Gaius, and then the lady herself…these were people that were supposed to be on his side. People he'd known his entire life…and the two should've been offering to help him track the boy down. But once again that day, Arthur had found the door being slammed shut in his face, leaving him not being any closer to finding Merlin then Arthur'd been when he got there.

Arthur had slammed the side of his fist against that door in frustration, only stopping because he didn't want Bayard to think he was not a good prince, when he showed up with bruises marring his hands. Arthur had heard Morgana's door make an audible clicking sound as she slid the lock into place, preventing him the option of bursting in on her once again. The man had grown agitated, and screamed through the door that he didn't have time for this. But did the lady ever make things easier for him? No. Morgana had made it her life mission to do anything she could to get under Arthur's skin since they were children. And that habit had only grown more out of control since Merlin had shown up in their lives. Another reason for Arthur to dislike Merlin as he did, the way he practically turned everybody against him.

Morgana had only screamed through the door, saying whatever he wants from Merlin is his own problem. If he didn't know enough about his own husband to be able to guess where he was, then he didn't need any help finding him. And Arthur had glowered, having to bite back a string of curses that would have caused his own father to smack him, if he caught onto Arthur talking that way in the presence of a lady. One would think, after a month, that the cursing habit his brat of a husband had rubbed off on him, would have done mellowed out. But no, it was still there. Lingering it's way under his skin. Like a fungus that wouldn't leave no matter how Arthur medicated it.

Now, while Arthur would hardly count Morgana as a lady, he knew his father would say otherwise. So, he knew staying here and trying to fight with Morgana was not an option even a prince like him would have been able to afford. With all the gold he had within his possession, not even he could afford more time then he had. So, Arthur stormed away down the hall, and took the stairs two at a time to get down the set faster then he would have. His mind ran wild with the thousands of different locations inside of the castle that he would need to check over.

There were about a dozen large and far more public places that he would need to rule out first. But there was also dozens and dozens of more nooks and little crannies that Merlin could have been stored away in. About five hundred random rooms-bedrooms as well as storage spaces and closets and empty rooms that haven't been used in a good decade-that Arthur had to check if the large spaces proved futile. But…it was far too much space for one man to check in the short span of time he had available to him. There were also millions and millions of different intersecting halls, or the section of the castle that had been deserted long before Arthur had been born, if Merlin had decided to go exploring.

Good god, Arthur hoped that Merlin didn't decide to spend his day exploring. The prince didn't want to be forced to extend his search grid pass the castle. The grounds themselves were absolutely huge, and he'd need a small army just to comb through every inch of the land. And if Merlin had decided to go back down to the lower town, then Arthur may as well have been looking for a needle in a haystack. There would have been absolutely no chance for Arthur to comb across the hundreds of stalls that overtook the marketplace. The hundreds of homes that littered their way across the housing district, and as Arthur had learned when Merlin had stupidly followed the zucchini farmer back to his house, homes weren't off limits to Merlin. All of that was not including the alleyways separating each place, the citadel and the battlements, and even the forests that surrounded Camelot wouldn't exactly be strange enough to stop someone like Merlin.

Arthur's first stop in his search to find Merlin ended up being the armory. Though, when Arthur looked at all the swords and maces and crossbows and shields that liked along the walls, the barrels filled up to the brim with extra pieces of armor waiting to be cleaned by the servants, he should have realized that would be a stupid place for Merlin to be. He was thinking of this as if it were him. It wasn't a strange idea for the prince to be found in the armory, he often changed up his weapons to make sure his skills didn't fail him. Rather he needed to use a crossbow or mace, even if his weapon of choice was a sword, Arthur needed to be proficient in everything.

But the armory was clearly a bad call for him to find somebody like Merlin. Morgana hadn't been wrong-if Arthur wanted to find Merlin, then he needed to think or know at least, a bit more about Merlin. Obviously, it would be a strategic advantage for Arthur to get in Merlin's mindset. And a boy that couldn't even hold a mace properly, and swung a sword as if he was trying to fell a tree, would not stop long enough to explore the armory. But that brought up the question…where would a hopeless boy with no life, no ambition as far as Arthur could see, or any interesting hobbies that didn't include embarrassing Arthur, be hiding at?

…Arthur ended up in the library, but only because he happened to be passing it by at the time and wanted to rule it out. Merlin might have a bit of a brain sitting in his head somewhere-which Arthur only grudgingly admitted since his kingdom wasn't overflowing with dead bodies at the moment-but Arthur didn't believe him smart enough to be able to read any of the large volume of books that were housed in the library. The books in there were for more advanced-more noble-readers, with records spanning across decades and decades of Camelot history. Thick books stacked on top of the last, on bookcases so filled that the middle would sag underneath the weight. It would definitely not be the place a consort with a peasant education would be found. Merlin being lucky enough to come across the pieces needed to find out what had been causing the sickness, didn't mean the same boy was capable of reading even his own name. Let along the large words these books were filled with, the kinds of words that only an educated man with this extensive vocabulary would be able to comprehend.

The brief trip through the library was, of course, all for naught. There was only a single soul inside of the whole room, though Arthur hardly thought Geoffrey, the keeper of the archives, counted. The man could be found in there always, fanatical about keeping all of the archives in order. Others didn't usually waste their time inside of the library, preferring to have one of the servants fetch them any reading material they may need. Geoffrey was always happy to help them find whatever they were looking for. He preferred it, when the alternative was having non-readers tearing through his organization apart. Even if the way that Geoffrey had organized it, was one that only he was able to understood. How political maps would belong next to Dining Etiquette for the Young Noble, was to remain a mystery forever.

Though…Arthur thought as he pulled his eyes away from the book on the shelf, the book might be one of the things Merlin 'should' read. He was pretty sure it had enough pictures in it, that even Merlin should be able to muddle through it. He ended up talking to the other man, conversing with Geoffrey just to be sure-after he rushed through the aisle's and found not one trace of his consort-but even the old man claimed he had not seen him. And unlike Morgana and Gaius, the prince actually believed him. What would Merlin want in a library to begin with, anyway?

Arthur left the library pretty soon after, and ended up spending the next several minutes almost running all ragged as he ducked down hall after hall. He would stop just long enough to peek his head into each and every room that he passed by. Arthur was bound and determined not to leave a single stone unturned. He did not want to find out later, that Merlin had been in one of the rooms he had decided to skip over. But no matter how long it took him, Arthur would find where his consort had decided to disappear too. Even if he had to tear down his this entire castle apart just to do it.

And the entire time, as Arthur threw door after door opened so hard that it would bang against the walls, he only had one thought in mind. 'I'm disappointed in you.' The line his father would say when Arthur ended up returning empty handed…maybe it would be much better though, if Arthur didn't return at all. Not at first at least. It would be much easier to explain away the prince's a sense to Bayard, perhaps Uther could just claim Arthur had a sudden emergency that needed his personal touch on. It wouldn't be so easy trying to come up with an excuse when Arthur walked into the room late, as if he couldn't have bothered to be on time for Bayard's imminent arrival.

The stress was starting to get to Arthur, and he was jumping down several steps everyone he reached a staircase. He needed to go faster, needed to find the consort faster than he felt his human limitations was able to keep up with. Arthur was already at the ends of his rope-the kind where he was ready to just start pulling his own hair out of his head, and scream until somebody competent was able to tell him where his consort was, since no servant or knight he'd ran past was able to tell him rather or not they had seen him-when he reached the hallway that held the kitchens.

And the first thing Arthur saw-down the length of the hall, and too far out of reach for his comfort-was the very boy in question. It was probably a bad thing that Arthur recognized the boy instantly, from the back of him. Maybe it was the dark hair falling over the curve of overly large ears that stuck out. Maybe it was all of the shabby clothing that didn't fit him nearly as much as Arthur's did. Maybe it was just his…everything and Arthur choose not to think of that at all. But the relief of finding Merlin was outraged by the stress that had filled him.

And when Arthur heard Merlin saying something that was related to chicken…he felt something like trying to choke the boy. And Arthur spit out his response to Merlin, his words getting away from him before they could register in his mind. He watched when Merlin stiffened up, and Arthur was too pissed off to even be pleased that he had startled the boy. Arthur was far too stressed out, and if somebody came out the kitchens with a chicken…Arthur was probably liable to shove it down Merlin's gullet. How could the boy even 'think' about eating, when there was too much going on around here.

"You seriously have nothing better to do then trying to stuff your mouth at a time like this…" Arthur said in a snappish tone, watching as Merlin spun around and looked at him in stark surprise. The boy's eyes were round all the way around, he looked like a deer would in that moment. Captivated as a hunter came across them, and staring at the torchlight being held high up above the hunter's head as they scoped out just how dangerous this situation was. A deer…Merlin…wasn't very dangerous at all. "What the absolute hell do you think this is? You can't just stop to have lunch at any time you want too!"

Merlin worked his jaw up and down, trying to wade through the devastating emotions he felt when he saw Arthur again for the first time after all of these long weeks. And the first thing Arthur did was start yelling at him about food…? Food that Merlin hadn't been planning on eating in the first place, Merlin felt his own stomach shrinking at the mere idea of eating something. And he was pretty sure his condition was just exacerbated by Arthur's sudden reappearance in his sight…and the mere idea of food suddenly made his stomach recoil sharply. Repulsed…sickened…with both himself and the scent of food that had started to waft out of the kitchen's.

Arthur ignored him though, and glanced back down the hallway where he had just came from, "It doesn't matter, I suppose. We're running late enough as it is, so you'll just have to wait till dinner tonight." He said, in a distracted tone, half expecting to see Bayard or even worse, his own father, would start making their way down the hall. But that was just stupid, nobody was their. And Arthur was just impatient, but he had every right to be. He didn't know exactly how long it had taken for him to track Merlin down, but he almost positive that Bayard must have reached the gates of the castle by now. Which meant he was only a stone throw away from getting to the castle itself. "Come on."

Merlin watched in utter bafflement when the prince turned around without another word, and started to march off. He clearly expected for Merlin to follow him without question, and do what he was told like the pretty little consort he was supposed to be. But Merlin sealed his lips shut, and he tucked his hands into the sleeves of his jacket, and he didn't budge an inch. His lips were shut because Merlin didn't want to talk to Arthur, he had already told the prince what he wanted too that day, when Merlin had told him off for being an abusive arse. He didn't want to say anything more to him. He had his hands in his jacket because he knew if he didn't, not only would Arthur see all the dried up blood, but Merlin knew that they would most likely be shaking. Arthur's presence and very harshly commanding attitude enough to make Merlin want to curl back into his bed where he'd be safe. The prince of his would never be a safe place to be…

Arthur hadn't made it down the hall before the prince suddenly seemed to realize that there was a distinct lack of feet trailing behind him. Arthur stopped in his steps, and took a deep breath to try and calm himself down before he did something outrageous. But when he turned around, and saw that Merlin hadn't moved away from the spot where he left him, Arthur felt his eye starting to twitch violently. No, he had to remind himself physically. He was not going to snatch Merlin up and start shaking him. That would only put Merlin in a mood, and start sprouting off his 'I've been being abused woe is me' crap. Arthur couldn't bring Merlin in front of Bayard if the boy wasn't being going to be cooperative…

"That is…" Arthur really did have every intentions on convincing Merlin to come with him willingly. Maybe if he simply promised Merlin something, in return for his cooperation…but Arthur had already tried to use that tactic many times before. And each time ended with Merlin throwing it in his face like the ungrateful brat that he was. Had even gone so far as to accuse him of abuse… "Listen to me…" Arthur forced himself to speak more gently, but the strain of his voice was easily heard. "We've got somewhere very important to be right now. And you need to be there to perform your consort duties. Am I clear…?"

Merlin still didn't move from where he was standing, he could feel his heart slowly down from its place in his chest. He felt…numb. Empty. He wasn't surprised in the least, that the only reason Arthur was here was because he needed him. And not in the way that the sorcerer wanted to be needed. Merlin could almost feel as if the outside world was melting away, leaving him standing in an empty void of darkness. He felt…he felt like he did when he was in his room. Safe, but only because his mind had checked out. He couldn't feel any pain if he was checked out, could pretend to not know what was going on in the physical world.

Merlin didn't want to go anyplace with Arthur, and he knew that better then he knew the back of his hand. Arthur…not safe…not safe…never safe…Merlin could end up dead if he went anywhere with Arthur. Even if Merlin's physical body lived on to tell the tale, Merlin knew that another piece of soul would chip away. He was down to almost nothing by this point, his soul so ripped to shreds that he was amazed there was any pieces left. No, it was better for Merlin to remain right here, in his dark cocoon that whispered how eternal darkness would forever be better then whatever the prince was about to put him through. He could stay in here forever…at peace with himself in a way he had never been in the waking world.

Nobody was expecting anything from Merlin when he was in his dark cocoon. There was no prince getting in his face, wanting Merlin to put on a show but then criticizing him every step of the way. There wasn't a king, ordering Merlin to keep quiet about his ordeal, but insisting he put on the best show for the people. Inside his darkness…there was no show that needed to be put on. Merlin could be exactly who he was and could be happy with himself. He could walk through an endless forest in his mind, or he could swim right through the fastest of rivers, or…he could stay inside his darkness. It didn't matter what his choice would be, because it was simply that. Merlin's choice…

Merlin could vaguely hear Arthur saying something to him, but he couldn't really understand what he could be saying. The vast space of darkness-in response to Arthur's voice-shrunk until it felt more cozy and secure to Merlin. Not suffocating…it reminded him of the small space that was his mother's hut. Or even his room at Gaius…somewhere small made it much easier for Merlin to keep track of where everything was. Where the threats were…as much as he would thrive walking through an endless forest where the only thing Merlin could see was freedom in each and every direction…the smaller space was good too. At least for now.

"Merlin…good god, get your arse moving or so help me god!" Arthur's roar, suddenly so close to his ear, made Merlin flinch back in surprise. And just like that, Merlin was back in the world. Back in the hall. And he was back with Arthur now directly in front of him. The consort backed away several steps, jolting his head up to look at the prince with wild eyes. Disoriented…wild…eyes…the kind that feared he was about to be attacked and didn't know which way to turn. "Do not embarrass me by making me pick you up, throw you over my shoulder and carry you all the way down to the entrance hall myself!"

And Merlin knew that he meant business. One look at the vein that was violently throbbing in his forehead could have told him that. The Before Merlin: would've told Arthur off for yelling at him like that. Would have screamed until he was blue in the face after he was yelled at as if he was a disobedient dog, who needed to follow Arthur's command above all else. That was the Before Merlin: who wouldn't have dared hesitate to start clawing his nails into Arthur's arms, or try to throw another punch at his disgusting face the very second that he tried to touch him. Even if he knew it wouldn't land against the trained warrior…

But the After Merlin…he didn't think he had anymore fight built up. Not when it came to Arthur Pendragon. The After Merlin was meeker, and quieter, and much smaller…more fearful, then he'd been in the entirety of his life. Even his magic seemed to shrink inside of him, forming a tight little ball buried deep below his chest where it wouldn't be seen. And the new Merlin had long accepted that he was no match against the prince. Merlin was so weak from the lack of food he'd consumed…he was sure Arthur would easily be able to make do on his threat and throw him over the top of his shoulder.

If Arthur touched him…Merlin hunched his shoulders into his chest, ducking his head down. His chest felt tight in a familiar way, and his breath hitched audible only to himself…just the idea of being touched with Arthur's greedy greedy hands made Merlin feel the beginning's of what could only be a panic attack. No …Merlin couldn't have a panic attack in front of him…Arthur already thought Merlin was a freak. This would only confirm how much of a freak Merlin truly was. A normal person didn't have panic attacks. Somebody who was normal wouldn't flinch when Arthur decided to make his presence known. A normal person would not need privacy to gather himself together…

"Move your fucking arse!" Arthur yelled again, going much louder than he had been moments before. The consort jolted with surprise-even more surprised by the sheer volume not being enough to draw people from the kitchens to find out what was going on-and he flinched when Arthur threw his hand out. But not to smack him, as he thought would happen. The man simply threw his arm out and pointed down the hall to where he wanted Merlin to go. Like the trained dog he was supposed to be. "Or do I seriously have to put you over my shoulder! I don't care what kind of fight you wanna put up, you're going! And you are going to do things right this time! No more causing any kind of disruption or dragging attention to yourself or…"

Merlin hated himself even more when he reacted at Arthur's rising temper, a shadow over his eyes as his body moved on its own. Walking past the prince and down the hall with Arthur followed closely at his heel. Merlin ducked his head further down, allowing for his bangs to shadow his eyes, having not a single hint of dignity left as he followed orders. But…Merlin had to do this. He hunched his shoulders further down, and knew this was the only way to protect himself. It was Merlin's only goal…play the part, act like the doll that Merlin wanted him to be, empty and lifeless and well enough at playing pretend. Just to keep what little bit of sanity he had left from wallowing away, leaving the husk he was behind as his mind completely left.

If Arthur thought there was something weird about the consort's suddenly obedient attitude, he didn't say anything. Or he really didn't notice…Merlin could feel the heat of Arthur against his back, and it made each step more unbearable then the last. Arthur was not touching him, but he was still close…too close for his comfort. Too close for him to relax properly. And far too close for Merlin to even breath without having the stench of Arthur's rage trying to cloy up inside of his nostrils. Leaving Merlin spiraling inside of his own mind, but still, he walked. Putting one foot in front of the other…rhythmically, without putting any thought into the action. Other then the dress coating his mind at what would happen once they got to the entrance hall.

"I swear, we're going to be late! Mercia is never going to want to do any dealings with Camelot ever again, I hope you know that this is entirely you're fault! Since you're the one that made me run across the entirety of this castle looking for you! And I found you trying to get fucking chicken, unbelievable!" Arthur would continue muttering things of this nature harshly right under his breath, loud enough for Merlin to hear each and every word of it. Never noticing how each word made Merlin's shoulders get higher and higher, until they were nearly up past his head. "I swear, you don't even know what I'm going to do to you if Bayard after meeting you, decides he doesn't want to risk doing any business with Camelot after this!"

Merlin froze in mid-step as he heard Arthur's words, his stomach clenching up sharply. Merlin didn't know why, but this was the moment that it hit him…but this was what Gaius had been talking about. When Merlin had barely been functioning, and Gaius had decided the smell was enough and given him his first sponge bath. He had said some events were coming up that may need Merlin's attention, but Merlin had been too out of it care. And he hadn't made the connection to those words from days earlier, to what was starting to happen right now. Why else would the prince want him around, unless to provide entertainment for one of the Great King's.

This…King Bayard. The one that Clarissa had told him was coming. The one Mary said said was going to be making a deal with Uther…a contract. Merlin's chest squeezed in on itself, more painful then the last time, that it felt as if his heart was being crushed under the weight. His stomach lurched sharply, and he almost feared that instead of having a panic attack, he was going to throw up all over his shoes. Emptying out all the little that he had inside of his stomach…he would probably pass out from being too weak. Merlin would not have to deal with any of this until he woke up and would not be forced to endure being inside the same room as two Uther's. Two king's. Two…each one was vying for their own agenda. And Merlin was meant to be right in between this mess, acting as if he actually belonged there and knew what the hell was going on.

Arthur was still going on a tirade, never noticing the way Merlin leaned as far away from Arthur as he was able to without falling over, when the prince stormed pass him towards the staircase, "Cannot believe any of this! Bayard is probably wondering where we are at this very moment! Father won't be able to stall the king for very long!" His fists were clenched tightly at his sides, and Merlin eyed them nervously. The blond was in a mood, and when we was in a mood…Merlin was usually his target of choice. Somebody to hold down, like a bird with a broken wing, unable to flap through the pain…even towards freedom.

Arthur stomped his way down the stairs, there was a pounding in his head. Stupid fucking Merlin, he was thinking as he jumped down a few more steps. The consort was ruining everything, and the deal hadn't even been set into motion yet. Bayard would not be impressed if Arthur had to literally drag Merlin into the meeting room. So help him god, if Merlin made him go that far…Arthur grabbed onto the rail of the staircase and jumped down the last three steps. He would do anything to get there faster, even if it would mean jumping over railings and down staircases like he was a teenager again. And sure, being twenty was not that far away from a teenager, but Arthur liked to think he was above such childish habits nowadays.

And speaking of people who had childish habits, the prince glanced up the staircase towards his consort to see if he was still pouting. And to make sure that he was still following, and Arthur wouldn't have to go ahead and attach a leash of his collar to keep Merlin from wondering away again. Merlin was still following him, though at a much more sedate pace than Arthur would have preferred. And Arthur frowned, a touch of impatience creeping into his eyes again as he silently observed his consort's small movements down the stairs. Was it just him or was there something…off…about Merlin…?

Arthur couldn't quite put his finger on it though…and it was something else that started to annoy him. This tinkling in the back of his brain that was trying to tell him something…oh well, Arthur decided as he simply shrugged it off. He had enough on his plate already, and couldn't be distracted because Merlin was going off pouting. Though he had better put the lip away if they were going to meet Bayard…Merlin reached the bottom of the stairs and continued walking. And the consort barely acknowledged passing Arthur right on by…Arthur frowned more deeply, paying a bit more attention then he had been before.

Realizing that Merlin was getting too far ahead of the prince, Arthur hurried ahead so that he was walking a half step behind the consort. Arthur glanced back at him, before glancing away again just as fast. And his eyes returned to Merlin's side just as fast…there was no reaction from Merlin. Arthur may as well not even be here, for all of the attention Merlin was showing to him. Arthur glanced away again, and sucked onto the inside of his cheek, biting down on it gently. He let go the piece and flesh, and his eyes inevitably turned to Merlin again.

"…Have you been listening to a word I said!" Arthur suddenly burst out, when the silence had dragged on for far too long. Now that Arthur's voice hadn't been filling up the air, bursting with so many complains he could have filled an entire book, he noticed that the consort hadn't said a single word. And thinking back on it now, Merlin hadn't said anything since he found him. Arthur would have thought something had been wrong if he hadn't already overheard Merlin trying to order himself some chicken. But since Arthur had got his hooks onto him…nothing. "I mean, you would've thought that somebody like you would have plenty to say about all of this!"

Arthur expected for Merlin to snap back something rude and unremarkable, that would only increase the prince's need to strangle his husband. But other then the subtle shifting of his shoulders, Merlin didn't say a word. And Arthur clenched his jaw frustrated. Was …was Merlin really trying to play the silent game with him? Giving him the silent treatment? Talk about him having childish tendencies. And to think, Merlin could claim he was the abusive one. And yet, when Arthur finally needed Merlin to earn the luxuries being the prince's consort gave him, the boy wanted to play as if he was the victim.

Arthur glanced away irritable, and the silence would continue to drag on as they walked down several of the next hallways. If Arthur wasn't walking right now, he would be tapping his foot to replace the irritating comments and chatter-yelling-that would usually be accompanying Merlin's presence. Arthur would have been crossing and uncrossing his arms, anything to do something that would distract him. But every time Arthur tried to think about how he would handle their visit with Bayard, and how much of an act Arthur was gonna have to do in front of the other king while the consort was at his side…his gaze would return back to the Merlin in front of him.

It wasn't long, after giving a few more eye darting in Merlin's direction, did Arthur start to notice the one thing that he probably should have noticed first. But he had been so relieved-and then pissed-that he had found Merlin inside of the castle, that he hadn't been thinking of much else. It made the prince's lip curl up in disgust. If Arthur took Merlin in front of Bayard the way he was looking now, then the king himself would probably think Arthur really was abusing him. All the consort would have to do was go make those stupid eyes of his wet, and play the 'I'm abused' card, and Bayard wouldn't be able to leave Camelot as fast as he wanted.

Arthur probably didn't look all that much better if one wanted to compare. He was pretty sure he had sweat stains under his armpits, because of his anxiousness due to Bayard's arrival, and the running he had been doing around the castle. But he was at least wearing a decent jacket that would cover it up, and hopefully keep the smell contained until he was able to bathe himself tonight. There were a few wrinkles here and there, Arthur could pick out on his coat. But he ran a hand over them, soothing them out the best that he could. Hopefully Bayard would be too focused on the deal, and a few wrinkles wouldn't be enough to scare him off. His hair might have a few fly aways, but the prince once again smoothed a hand across his bangs to try and flatten it. But even then, Arthur knew that he looked sights better then Merlin did.

…Fuck.

"Stop." Arthur stopped in his step, and watched as the consort did the same. He stepped up to Merlin's side, and slowly dropped his gaze down to the boots Merlin was wearing, and slowly ranked his eyes back up to his face again. Merlin was watching him with an unreadable expression, but Arthur hardly paid it any attention. There had to be something that Arthur was able to do for him. Something to make Merlin look a bit more presentable, and look as if could believably be hanging off of Arthur's arm. They didn't have any time to stop by Madame Teresa's and pick something up that would be more suitable for the occasion.

Merlin's boots were shabby, but unless Arthur had an extra pair hidden inside of his own coat, there wasn't really anything he could do about that. If Bayard tried to ask about it, Arthur could always claim Merlin was busy tending to the garden…Camelot didn't have an official garden, but he could always say Merlin kept a small space to himself? It was a perfectly acceptable hobby for a consort of Merlin's statue, and wouldn't be looked down on like Merlin's weird fascination for the physician arts he had delved into last month. The prince could only hope that this had been a phase of Merlin's that had ended with the sickness, and it was not something Merlin had been serious about.

His pants were equally as shabby but once again, the prince didn't exactly have an extra pair just laying on hand for him to give Merlin to use. But once again, he could always use the gardening excuse if it came up in conversation with Bayard. His jacket…maybe it was best if that came off. It was as shabby as the rest of him, but Arthur was honestly afraid to find out what the shirt Merlin was wearing underneath it would look like. It was the blue one that Merlin seemed to favor the most, but from what Arthur could see…it wasn't much better then the rest of it. Maybe the jacket was an even better option, hiding away any imperfections that could be marring Merlin's appearance.

Arthur eyed the top of Merlin's hair, and thought that it could use a good brushing. Perhaps his fingers will make do, but Arthur doubted he could have flattened it out enough without some product to go along with it. And…Arthur's eyes dropped straight down, on the one article of clothing that he had been doing a good job to avoid looking at. The blue neckerchief that was tied loosely around his throat…it reminded him of the red cloth Arthur currently had hidden away inside the drawer by his bed. Now that the consort had seemed to stop bringing up how Arthur had lost it, the prince was not about to restart that fight by bringing it back out into the open. No, it could stay right where it was until Merlin forgot the thing had ever existed.

But…perhaps the neckerchief Merlin wore wouldn't be needed in this situation. Even if the boy still had a strange attachment to those cloths, there would be absolutely no reason why he had to wear one today of all days. Merlin was going to be meeting with the King of Mercia, not all trudging throughout the lower town or whatever it is that he did all day long. Maybe Merlin would even realize that he liked walking across the city without wearing such a stupid thing. And he would just get rid of all the ones he had. Then Arthur wouldn't be forced to remember the red one that he had spontaneously decided to keep.

Arthur looked up from the blue neckerchief so that he could look Merlin in the eye, "Take that off." The prince commanded simply, never thinking to ask the consort if he would be willing to take something off to make himself look more presentable. Why would it occur to Arthur that Merlin wouldn't want to try and make things easier for Arthur? A month away…it had probably dimmed Arthur to some of the boy's more…out there…tendencies. And Arthur watched as Merlin blinked, still not saying a word, before bringing up his hand to rest of the very edges of his neckerchief.

At first, Merlin didn't know what Arthur would have been talking about. Take it off…take what off? Merlin had done a mental count of everything he had been wearing, but he still didn't understand. What…Merlin had been about to freak out, and trying to figure out rather or not this was a new humiliation tactic. Where Arthur commanded him to do something outrageous, like taking off his pants, and having his strutting right in front of this new king in just his underthings. But…Merlin was sure that would be another thing that was going to embarrass Arthur about him. There wasn't anybody that wanted to see his skinny little chicken legs…but then Merlin had seen the way Arthur's eyes flickered down to his neckerchief. And Merlin brought his hand up to touch the edges of it.

And for the first time since Arthur had found him, the consort could feel his heartbeat starting to slow, until it was rhythmic. Beating calm and steady until it was the only sound he could hear thumping away inside of his eardrums. Merlin hadn't been sure of anything these last few weeks: his lot in life, how he would be able to survive, if he even wanted to bother himself with trying…but he was sure about this. That Arthur Bloody Pendragon could go to hell if he thought the consort was just going to hand over one of his most precious items to him.

"…Did you hear what I just told you?" Arthur suddenly barked, a steely eyed expression overtaking his face when Merlin didn't jump at his command. The prince glanced back down at Merlin's neckerchief, and then he clenched his jaw tightly, he imagining what would be Merlin's reaction if he reached over there and took it off for himself. Would he fight, and force the prince to hold his down as he struggled to untangle it from around his throat without strangling with him. Or was the consort in a more subdued mood for once, would he just stand there as he was now? And allow Arthur to carefully work the knots out of it, until it loosened up enough for Arthur to drop it to the floor. "You will need to take that off before we get in there!"

For the longest time, Merlin didn't say anything. And it hit Arthur that…Merlin didn't say anything. The man clenched his jaw tighter, he didn't even care if all the consort did was start fussing at him like he would be usually doing. Just fucking say something, so that he would actually know what was going on inside of that brain of his. Was Merlin really trying to play this game with him, did he want to see how long the prince was willing to go before he bursts? Arthur's mind started to race, thinking of exactly what he could do to finally get something out of Merlin. A yelp…a meow filled to the brim with discomfort when Arthur finally shoved him into the wall…a reaction. Any reaction would be good at this point…

"No."

Merlin said this simply, as if he had been answering a question about the weather. It was the only word that Merlin could get to come out of his lips, but this was also the only word that mattered. No. It meant much more to Merlin then simply 'no, I will not take off my neckerchief for you.' It could mean 'no, I will not take any bullying from you today.' Or 'No, you can go and scree yourself if you thought I would be so stupid as to let you take another thing to strip me of.' The other man probably wouldn't recognize the word for what it was, but Merlin did. And that was all that mattered.

"…Excuse me?" Arthur asked, his eyes narrowing at his consort sharply, because that had not been the reaction he wanted to drag out of Merlin. The other boy had yelled at him before, more times that Arthur could count. But Merlin also always had a follow up reason for why he was in a mood, even if Arthur had never really understood those reasons. Merlin had never gone just 'no' and been done with it. What a surreal world Arthur had found himself living in, the kind where somebody told him-prince of Camelot-no. "I know that you didn't just say that. Do you think King Bayard is going to be impressed with you if you go in there looking like a court jester? It needs to be taken off!"

He dragged his eyes back down to the neckerchief, and with Merlin's denial of giving into him, came this sudden urge to rip the damn thing off of him. Force out every sound he could as he got rid of the damn things once and for all. But…Arthur seemed to realize something the longer he stared down at the cloth on his consort. Arthur was pretty sure that he had never seen Merlin when he wasn't wearing one. Arthur was able to logically, know that Merlin had collarbones he kept hidden behind those rags of his. But Arthur had never seen them before. Merlin wasn't…hiding them? From him…was he? That wouldn't do. Merlin was not allowed to hide things from him.

With that decision made, Arthur stepped forward. He had every intention of taking the stupid thing off and throwing it away. Nobility didn't go around hiding the skin they had as if there was something they had to be ashamed of. At least not more skin then propriety would dictate. If Merlin was going to be included in more of these meet-and-greet's, then it was time for Arthur to teach him properly on exactly how one will go about dressing the part. Merlin had ran around in those rags for long enough. And the only reason that Arthur wasn't making him undergo a complete make over from Madame Teresa-and burning all those rags he had the nerve to call clothes-was because neither of them had the time for a lengthy detour. And Arthur was sure it would take Madame Teresa far more then a few minutes to make Merlin look as if he had been born noble.

"NO!" Merlin shrieked, falling back against the stone wall that stood behind him, before Arthur could touch him with his disgusting fingers. He had been loud, far louder then he'd spoken in weeks. Merlin could have felt the strain of his vocal muscles as his shout was echoing down the hall, if he wasn't staring panicky at Arthur. There was a fire brimming in his chest, but it was a lukewarm fire at best. Barely this flicker of light amongst kindling that wasn't even there. And Arthur had his hand frozen in mid-air, wearing this startled expression on his face, ears still ringing from Merlin's shouting.

Merlin was probably looking erratic right now but this wasn't the worse way he'd looked. But…Merlin's hand tightened harder on his neckerchief, feeling the worn fabric clenching between his fingertips. It was almost like a shield for him, his neckerchief protecting Merlin from whatever the world was going to throw at him in the next few minutes. It was quite likely, this very piss poor excuse for a shield, but it was also the one thing he had that hadn't been taken from him yet. If Arthur tried to extend force to take it from him, then…Merlin didn't know what he would do. He knew he wouldn't be able to make it through this meeting Arthur would force him into. Not without Merlin keeping such a big part of his own comfort close at hand.

"…Merlin…" Arthur spoke in a carefully contained sort of voice, the kind of voice that warmed Merlin of the danger brewing in front of him. Merlin shrunk further into the wall, and squeezed his eyes shut, and fingers clenched so tight in his neckerchief that his knuckles were turning white. It was the only thing that stopped him from shaking. How had Merlin been reduced to a person like this? Fearful of even a single harsh word, a final straw word that would finally be the breaking point for him. "Surely you can understand how going into a meeting with a king, demands precision. A king demands perfection in all things. And your wardrobe of choice is…entirely undesirable. The least you can do is take off the one thing that you actually can…"

Arthur tried to coerce Merlin into taking it off himself. It would be way too easy for Arthur to take it off, one hard snap of his wrist and he could probably rip the thing in half, it was that worn out. But Arthur couldn't deny that he would get a trill from watching Merlin be the one to submit for once. The more Arthur thought on it, the more interested he became in the idea. The image in his head was quite nice. A world that had his consort demurely undoing the neckerchief away from his throat, revealing collarbones that had previously went unseen, and neatly placing it in Arthur'a hand.

But Merlin only squeezed his eyes shut with Arthur's prompting, and shook his head frantically from side to side. Telling him 'no' once again without saying the actual word. Arthur worked his jaw around in a circle, he was torn, as always, when it came to Merlin. When the boy was quiet, it was abnormal. Irritating. And he did not like to be irritated. But the second Merlin was going to start up his usual behavior, Arthur wanted to do whatever it would take to shut him up. It was odd, and conflicting, and a prince should not ever show he was conflicted about anything. One of those princely rules that was unwritten, but needed to be followed…

There was the sound of echoing footsteps coming in front down the hall. And that was the only thing that caused Arthur to drag his eyes away from his consort to look. The two knights walking into the hallway had not seemed to notice the two of them, but the prince still lowered his hand from where it had been steadily creeping towards Merlin. And he glowered at the two of them, irritable because his coercion had just been interrupted. The two knights should have turned and gone the other way immediately, if only to afford the prince and his consort their privacy. Arthur wouldn't be willing to 'train Merlin' into obedience when there was others watching. This was something that would only be between the two of them. Not onlookers.

"Do you think the consort is going to screw up what King Uther is trying to do this time? Like he screwed up-" the first knight started, but the man cut himself off when he saw Arthur standing not that far away. It caused both men to pale when Arthur narrowed eyes on them harshly, dangerously. Daring the other man to try and finish that sentence. The first knight ended up swallowing hard, barely able to get it pass a lump in his throat, while the second one kept quiet. It was one thing for them to gossip among themselves, but it was quite another to do the same directly in front of the prince himself.

The second knight was the first one to make a move, and quickly bowed lowly in the presence of the man and the consort they were just mocking. The first of the knights was quick to follow suit, bowing far lower than the second one had, in honor of him mistake. As he should, Arthur thought agitatedly. Arthur knew the rumors and the talks were running rampant all among the city, but rarely did he have anybody be so dumb, they would say it in the range of his hearing. The man would be the first one to say Merlin was an idiot and didn't deserve to be married into a royal line, such as his. But fuck it, if somebody said the same thing right in front of him. Arthur couldn't control what all of the masses would think, but he could keep it contained so he wouldn't have to hear about it. Gone were the days where Arthur waved his hand and allowed for a person-like Morris-to speak of Merlin. That was what had gotten him into that whole mess where he had believed the manservant's version of events with all that had happened with Gwen. He didn't want to hear a single word about Merlin anymore, if only because it was easier to pretend the boy did not exist.

Arthur waited impatiently, until he could see only the back of his men as they scurried around the corner, no longer within hearing range of the rage that Arthur wanted to release onto Merlin. Arthur knew he hadn't been like this before, when he was talking to his own father about Bayard's arrival. But the stress, and the 'knowing' that Merlin would find some way to screw it all up, caused goosebumps to break out across the prince's forearms. But when Arthur turned back and saw that his consort was already watching him, that strangely blank expression back on his that he had never particularly liked, and Arthur let a breath of hot air born out of frustration from his nose.

The only good thing those knights had done, would be reminding Arthur that they were already pressed for time. And rather or not Arthur tried to coerce the boy into giving up his neckerchief, or wrestled it away from him himself, it would take far more time than the prince felt comfortable enough with wasting. So, the prince brought a hand up, running his fingers across his bang and over the top of his head, never noticing the way that Merlin's eyes latched onto something he had. Something that was shining on Arthur's hand as a glint of light streaming in through the windows was catching on it.

"You know what, fine. Just keep the damn thing on if you want." Arthur growled, frustrated, and Merlin was pressing himself more firmly against the wall, able to breath properly only when the prince turned sharply on his heel and started storming away, fists clenched down at his side. "Maybe if we're lucky," Arthur would continue to complain, not bothering to check that the consort was dutifully following behind him. "Bayard is going to be so focused on my father and myself, that he won't pay two seconds of time too you. As long as you can continue to keep silent for once, Bayard shall hardly notice you exist. Let along notice that you are wearing the godawful thing you insist on!"

Merlin solemnly followed behind him down the thick tunnels of halls, they were getting closer to the entry way. And while Merlin's stomach continued to twist in knots, even as he made sure there was a good space between himself and the prince, the consort couldn't stop his eyes from dropping to Arthur's hand. Even if they were clenched, this only brought out the shining piece of metal. The sight made Merlin clench his jaw and look away, but his eyes kept returning. The ring-so identical and yet so different in meaning, for one simply meant a marriage and the other stood as the sign of imprisonment-burned on Merlin's hand like a liquid fire.

Merlin felt the urge to ask, brimming on the edge of his tongue…how was it that Arthur was the one that made him sullen and quiet. And yet, he was the one that made Merlin want to be the first to engage…why was Arthur wearing a ring he had deemed he'd never wear? Not unless, well…Merlin supposed having this meeting with this king would be an important enough event that Arthur might feel the need to pull it out of whatever dusty drawer he had been keeping it inside of. Merlin glanced down at his feet, watching as the stones melded into one after the next, the anxious pit in his gut starting to spark a brief hint of fire. It would not grow into an inferno, Merlin was far too gone for a thing like that to grow inside of him. But the hint of a spark, the little bit of flame needing to be stroked…proved that Merlin wasn't all gone quite yet.

"I thought you said you didn't like wearing your ring."

The words were out there before Merlin could have stopped himself, and hovered between the two of them ominously. Merlin watched blankly as Arthur paused in his step for only a moment, spine going stiff at the sudden remark. Arthur's hand bearing his wedding ring shifted, telling Merlin all that he needed to know about it. The prince obviously felt strange to be wearing the ring at all. Unlike Merlin, who'd been stupidly wearing the ring since the day the blond had given it to him, Arthur hadn't worn his at all. The ring was probably an odd weight on his hand, a reminder that Merlin was His. But never would Arthur belong to Merlin…

"…Of course I am." Arthur said, as he picked up the pace in his step, acting as if he had never paused at all. The prince behaved as if it was no big deal, and acted as if Merlin should have been expecting for him to wear it right from the beginning. His words would have had a romantic tinge to them if they had been heard by anybody else. A calming effect, as if Arthur was declaring his love by wearing a piece of jewelry that kept them bound together tighter then anything else had. But Merlin knew better, and knew the ring was not a sign of shared love and the joint decision to share the rest of their lives together. It was a sign of ownership, and Arthur slipping his back on would only feel as if the 'master' between them would now be stepping up. "Bayard is expecting a couple. The King will hardly believe it if I cannot take the time to wear one. Do not worry. It will be removed again as soon as he is gone."

Merlin wanted to sneer, but the fire in his gut hadn't so much as sparked, the smoldering embers dying as fast as they had appeared. He had no energy to even make his displeasure clear, and Merlin could see the subtle relaxing in Arthur's shoulders when he stayed quiet. Merlin hated that, and ducked his head so that his bangs could cast an ominous shadow across his eyes. What did Arthur have to relax about? He made it sound as if wearing his ring for one night was some kind of hardship. Something that Arthur had felt as if he needed to 'warn Merlin' not to get use to the idea of Arthur wearing his ring again. As if Merlin was still the stupid little boy, with the stupid little crush, and would look for extra meanings in Arthur's actions. He knew better now. Merlin knew there would be nothing extra in what Arthur did.

And yet…Merlin's ring was the one that had seen him through everything. The little ring of metal had been worn by him throughout it all. Through the day Merlin had tried passing off a neckerchief as a favor and the metal had seen Merlin mourning the fabric. It saw the assault Valiant had tried to force on him, and saw the way Arthur reacted to the news. It had seen Merlin as he stood in front of the council-newness to the court evident on him, but vibrant in his right to demand the justice that should be given against a murderer. And it had seen him through the first wave of sneers and disgust given to him, before it ultimately moved onto more physical attacks. It had seen him through when the first wave of sickness had started overtaking the castle, and had saw him through Gwen's gentle hand gifting him a flower. Saw him through Arthur's harsh reaction against it, and saw him through when Arthur started talking about sending him away that very first time. As if Merlin should be grateful, but it only made Merlin feel like garbage.

The ring had been with him when Merlin had tried to help the only way he knew how, had seen him when he stepped out of line to heal Gwen's father. He had it with him even as he broke down, realizing that he'd been wrong, so wrong, to try and help as he had. The thing had bore with him the weight of guilt as he saw Gwen being carted away, and him giving in and trying to plead with Arthur to do something. He had worn it continuously even after he had learned the blond had no longer been wearing his own. It had been carried on his finger even as Merlin stood in front of the men a second time, the council…and swore to a deal that would grant his own life in favor of Gwen dying alone. Had seen Merlin discovering the beast in the watery chambers, and the betrayal of his deal being ignored. A deal with a peasant consort would never uphold as a deal with another king would…and more important …the ring had seen him through Arthur's abuse as it grew worse and worse during all those days. And yet, it still stood on Merlin's finger.

How ironic, Merlin thought ideally to himself, as if this was all just another day in the life to him. His ring had seen more with him then his own husband had been willing to be near him. Arthur's ring would be seeing him through tonight, but what was one night when he could compare it against a lifetime? Three months of memories, each one worse then the last, had already attached themselves to Merlin's ring. And yet, there's nobody that had seen Merlin ripping it off, eager with trying to get rid of it. Not like Arthur, who sped up in his steps as if he was trying to get away from Merlin, but now allowing Merlin to leave either. Trying to get this day over with so that he could toss it back where it's even this whole time…

"I suppose I'm just surprised with seeing it again, you were clearly upset with me when I noticed that you'd taken to not wearing it." Merlin spoke up, though his voice came out whether flat and dull. The amount of life-or lack of life-reflected with equal measure in his eyes. The once bright blue eyes, now shadowed with contempt and weariness, landed on the square of the prince's back. Where he once again saw the blond as he stiffened up with the sound of his voice. "I mean, I doubt that your girlfriend appreciates you walking on around here with another man's ring on your hand. Or do you not talk to her about these things?"

Girlfriend, Merlin thought sullenly, probably wasn't the right word to use. But he thought it implied itself quite nicely in their rather…unique…situation. Having to use the word 'girlfriend' implied something more…fun. And flirty. And innocent. People who were only hanging out together so they weren't alone, but had no intentions on doing things proper and starting up a courtship and getting married together. Pledging to spend their lives with the other…until the end. Merlin knew Clarissa had talked up a good game, with her smug and gloating face, but as long as Merlin lived, there really was nothing that she could do. She could only ever be 'the girlfriend', a mocking term when he considered the 'boyfriend' of their equation already had a 'life partner.'

Arthur stumbled over his own feet, the term Merlin had just used echoing inside of his mind, and he had to grab onto the railing at the top of the last staircase they had to go down before he fell. Merlin truly had a way about him the continuously stunned Arthur, and the prince whipped his head around to look at him in disbelief. "What are you talking about, Merlin? Have you hit your head and not bothered to tell me? Since I can assure you right here and right now, that I've not ever had a girlfriend." Arthur could feel the sweat as it built up on his hands, even if he had nothing to be nervous about.

'Girlfriend' wasn't something that nobility did. Every marriage needed to be calculated and decided from those that had the most worth they could bring into it. Alliances forced by their parents, and what sort of bloodline they would like to bring into the family tree to continue onto the next generation. Sure, men had their fun at times with others, especially when they were young. But never with somebody that would be a contender as their wife. Arthur's marriage had been the exact opposite of everything he had been taught to expect, but with the Clause in the Contact-the one clause that could grant Merlin his kingdom on top of a silver platter-hanging over his head like a beacon of despair, Arthur had learned better then to risk things over a sort dalliance with any Lady.

"You…you do not have to lie to me about any of it. Me of all people…I know what we have is not exactly the most conventional marriage. But after what you have put me through…I think I at least deserve the truth in what you've been doing." Merlin said softly, lowering his head so that his eyes were trained on the floor at his feet, shoulders sagging as if the weight of entire worlds were sitting on him. He could taste the coat of bitterness-heavy and hot-sitting on his tongue when Arthur's remark rung inside his mind. Hit his head? It was always something like that, wasn't it? The prince thinking their was something wrong with him, unable to hold his own tongue even when he knew this was going to turn out just like all the others. Another fight to end all fights. Another battle against somebody he knew was stronger then him. A personal war against a man that had whole armies behind him, and Merlin could barely even hold his own against one of those soldiers. "Or…do you think I am so unimportant that I really do not need to know about your affairs?"

Merlin could see Arthur boggling his eyes at him, and the consort swallowed the bitterness down his throat as if it were poison. He had spoken more than he had wanted too, more then he had even thought he would be able too. It was a large step up from a young boy who only moments ago, could scream 'No' as Arthur tried to near him so he could strip him. Merlin's nails dig into the sleeve of his jacket, clawing restlessly at the rough fabric with his blunt nails. The blood from earlier was still staining his under nails, and he was not surprised that Arthur hadn't noticed. Just like he had to question rather or not Merlin had hit his head …if he had bothered to see Merlin at any point during the last month, then maybe he would know why the consort behaved as he did. It was no secret that any person living in constant fear, being judged by every eye that landed on them…could cause somebody to live irrationally. Though, Merlin supposed Arthur was already thinking Merlin was irrational, long before the abuse had gotten to be too much for even him.

But Arthur hadn't spoken up anything yet, and Merlin could only take that as him admitting their really was an affair going on between him and Clarissa. Maybe not a full blown one yet, but something that had been starting to develop as Merlin laid comatose in his bed for days at a time. Merlin wasn't even sad anymore or was he angry. He was only resigned to the fact that it had happened at all. And Arthur hadn't bothered with mentioning it, just so he wouldn't be blindsided by all of it. So little respect…it was something Merlin knew Arthur had for him. Just as Merlin knew there wasn't any reason for him to stand here any longer while the prince tried to come up with his excuses or denials.

Merlin probably looked as calm as a peaceful river, so gentle and still. Nothing showing on his face because Merlin was just so numb about everything. Empty, as his husband's affair came to light. And strolled right on past the prince, not bothering to spare him a look as he started down the stairs, bangs flopping on his forehead with each step down that he took. The only thing that betrayed Merlin, was the continuous ways his hand scrunched up and unscrunched the sleeve of his jacket. Merlin had places to be…a meeting with a king, apparently…and Arthur could boggle over his consort knowing what would soon be happening with him and his girlfriend behind close doors, on his own time. But Merlin wanted to get this over with, so that he could return to his bed and pretending the outside world never existed.

Merlin had just made it to the bottom of the stair and was walking down the hall-each step leaving behind another piece of whatever innocence he was clinging onto-when he had the rabid sound of footsteps that came at him from behind. Merlin's spine stiffened up, and his breath froze like ice glaciers in the middle of his throat, already anticipating Arthur grabbing onto him from behind. Shaking him and screaming about how he should never open his mouth and say things again-Merlin already knew that. It was why he didn't talk as much as he used too, or said exactly what he wanted too. But he just couldn't help himself, Before Merlin barely a blimp of life under the surface of his depression. It wouldn't be much longer now, before it was smothered out completely by Arthur's incense.

But the blow from behind never happened and Merlin was almost left disoriented when it didn't. The prince never touched him, though Merlin's skin was almost vibrating, screaming at him from a pain that never hit him. Arthur was there though, rounding around to the front of him, forcing Merlin to jolt to a stop before he ran into him. And what could only be described as a very 'manly' shriek came from Arthur, even as he was waving his hands back and forth in front of him as he shook his head frantically…Merlin eyed the hands as if they were vipers, each finger a venomous snake he knew was about to bite him.

"Merlin, just tell me what this is about! What is going on in your mind this time! There is no affair, and there is no girlfriend!" Arthur was screaming at him, and all the frustration was coming off of him, washing along Merlin like a tidal wave would throw him off his feet to smash against the rocky shore. Merlin could only just barely hear Arthur at all, his own body was starting to shut back down as his mind retreated back into that dark place he found so comforting. The ring of Arthur and his words ringing hollow in the back of his mind, even as the prince glanced around to make sure that nobody else would stumble across them. "There's no time for this. Get whatever you're thinking out of your mind because I can assure you, that it's not true. And I don't know rather or not Bayard is a patient man but even the most patient man is not going to appreciate waiting because you decided to start up this quarrel right before the biggest meeting in Camelot history."

There he goes again, Merlin thought dimly, his own voice echoing around him inside the dark chamber of his mind. Thinking that everything was about him. As if Merlin wanted to have this fight right now, wanted to have it at all…it was Arthur who had decided to be the instigator, by wearing his ring in front of Merlin as if it wasn't a brand of ownership. As if Arthur wasn't probably planning to run to Her, as soon as Merlin's part in this meeting was over and done with. It was Arthur who decided his first instinct was to yell, and to scream…did Arthur scream at Clarissa as often as he did to Merlin? Probably not…even if Arthur and her weren't having a physical affair quite yet. Merlin had no doubt that an emotional one had already been put in full effect. And that was probably worse…

If it was physical, Merlin could at least fool himself in thinking it was only to have a baby, so that the next in line for the throne could be born. Though he thought Arthur was insane for trying to have a baby so soon after their marriage, when he was still so young…that choice though, didn't have any part of Merlin in it. He had already fooled himself once when he thought for a hot second there, that Arthur could share the same feelings he once did. Merlin knew better then to fool himself again. If the connection between Clarissa and his husband was more emotional though…then Merlin knew it was only a matter of time before he really did end up in that villa in the middle of nowhere. Without even Gaius, or Morgana, or Gwen there to sit beside him when he felt too weak to even lift his head.

"…So, you're telling me that you and Clarissa haven't been getting closer this past month?" Merlin said in a dull voice, his limp and lifeless hair falling into eyes that could have pass for one of the darkest corner of hell, mind never leaving the safety of its warm nest in the further corner away from all of this. Like the living doll he was meant to be, going through the motion of life but not feeling anything that would indicate being alive. "I suppose you also won't tell me rather or not Clarissa has already fallen pregnant with the next one in line to take your kingdom?"

The Merlin hiding away inside the dark recesses of his mind, would never have to worry about Clarissa or her plans. He would never have to worry rather or not whispers of a pregnancy reaching him meant his life was about to be uprooted all over again. He wouldn't need to worry about Arthur not thinking that was one thing Merlin actually needed to know. But the images of Clarissa, gloating and smug and sure that she was going to be the one sitting on top Camelot's throne in a year's time worried themselves on the very fringes of his mind. Of a Merlin who just an hour before, had gazed upon the viper's belly, and struggled to see if there was a swell of a hatchling forming in her gut.

The shock value seemed to have worked in his favor, and as Arthur stuttered out a panicked, "What?!" the consort walked around him and calmly continued on his way towards the entrance hall. And the blond was left on his own, stuttering out words of confusion and disbelief. The hot flash of panic worked its way along Arthur's belly, even if he knew it was impossible. The prince, as far as he was concerned, knew that there was no babe growing in Lady Clarissa's belly, as she was not expecting a child. And even if she did have a child he did not know about, Arthur could be sure the child would most definitely not belong to him.

But Arthur cursed under his breath when he noticed that his consort was getting away from him, and…he could not allow Merlin to go into that chamber, as he carried with him all those nonsense thoughts about him and Clarissa. Merlin was already in a bad mood, and if he had learned anything from when Merlin had walked in on him and Clarissa that last time, the boy clearly knew how to make an already uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable. Arthur was quick to hurry after him, "Merlin!" The prince called, he was reaching out to touch onto Merlin's shoulder, though his hand fell just short of actually touching him…

Maybe if Arthur had already touched him, then Merlin would have finally had the freak out he'd been slowly building up towards this entire time. The dam that he knew would finally break loose at the slightest touch from Arthur…maybe if Arthur had touched him, then they could have hashed out a few things right there and then. Maybe Arthur would have seen the effects he'd been having on Merlin for himself, would finally see the struggle his consort had been wading along on his own. Maybe if he had…then Arthur would have made a few changes in his own behavior earlier. And then maybe…maybe Arthur wouldn't have made one of the biggest mistakes in his entire life later the very same day. Maybe the memory of this day wouldn't be ingrained in both of their minds, carried on with them like an unhealed scar.

But as the fates have decided, Merlin unknowingly took a single step out of range, which caused Arthur to drop his hand back down to his side. The consort would never know just how close he had came to his freak out happening much earlier then it would. And the prince never knowing he had just given himself a few more hours of delusion, living in a world where it was Merlin that was always causing the trouble. Their fates had been sealed, a few hours…that would be all of the time these boys had left in the lives they knew.

"Merlin! Fuc-will you just…stop!" Arthur shouted, and stepped in front of Merlin once again to prevent him from leaving. His arms spread wide this time, as if he thought Merlin would try to make a run for it, and was going to stop him before he got the chance. And the consort stopped walking, blinking strangely at Arthur in front of him. Arthur gritted his teeth when the boy didn't immediately give him the answers to the dozen or so questions that were popping off wildly inside of his mind. "We…I…" he finally started, since it became apparent that Merlin was now giving him what Arthur would call 'the silent treatment'. That accursed silent Merlin who was never quiet when Arthur wanted him to be, but would stay mute whenever he needed any actual answers. "We cannot continue having a fight about Clarissa. The first thing you should know is she is most definitely not my girlfriend. She's never been and she never will be. I'm not exactly on the market to be looking for somebody else, am I?"

Arthur wagged his finger in Merlin's direction, trying to bring attention to his ring, no matter how stupid it made him feel. Somebody else would've laughed and agreed they were being stupid. But Merlin didn't look as easily swayed as Arthur had hoped he would be. It may have worked…if Arthur hadn't already spoken-in a corridor with tension between them, a body hidden by Gaius just inside, and an innocent purple flower he had resting between them-of Clarissa possibly being the one Arthur would make his queen. Should Merlin actually be sent off to live in a villa, forgotten until his death. It may have worked…if Merlin hadn't walked in on Arthur doing nothing to stop it as Clarissa tried to wiggle her fingers underneath his belt. If Arthur had not bothered to do more to deny what Merlin had just saw with his own two eyes…

"…She thinks that she is." Merlin finally spoke, eyes looking grim as they rested on Arthur's ring. As if the ring was a death sentence hanging directly over his head. The Consort had no interest in playing a happy little family in front of King Bayard. And even less did he wish to hear what Arthur's excuses would be. The darkness in his mind was starting to ebb away, which forced Merlin to pay more attention to what would be happening in front of him. When all Merlin wanted to do was sink back into the darkness… "Or at least, she thinks she will be soon enough. And who can blame her for what she thinks. I know you care very little for whatever this marriage is, Arthur. But I think even you should know telling me lies about your relationship to Clarissa is done in rather poor taste."

To anybody else, Merlin could've sounded just like the jealous little boy Clarissa had tried to make him out to be when she had been bragging about how she was going to take Arthur away from him. But Merlin was anything but jealous about this situation. And there was so much that he wanted to know-it could have been called Merlin having a morbid curiosity. But at the same time…Merlin knew he wanted to know nothing at all. Not the details of how it had started, how Arthur had no conscious…he could wear a ring as if it was a simply piece of jewelry. It wasn't significant, to the prince. Not if he continued with this dalliance he was forming with Clarissa.

Arthur brought a hand up to his nose, and pinched harsh on the bridge of it, squeezing his eyes shut. Leave it for Merlin to give him a killer headache just before they had to arrive and meet Bayard. But he could hardly brush all of this aside. "Okay, maybe we just need to back up for a half second here. And you actually explain to me what is going on." Arthur said slowly, dropping his hand from his face. It was best to get this out of the way now, or it was liable to blow up at an even worse moment. Like directly in front of the two kings they were trying to get to. "My first question…did Lady Clarissa actually tell you she is expecting a child? Or is that a conclusion that you have came up with on your own."

This whole pregnant thing was the most important thing for Arthur to get settled. If Lady Clarissa truly did have a child in her womb, then Arthur would need to get ahead of this immediately. Just so there could be no questions that Arthur was most definitely 'not' the father. He had a clause in the contract to be worried about and if Clarissa tried to claim him as paternity, then…what would be the biggest way to prove cheating other then Arthur having a child out of wedlock. God forbid…Arthur may need to converse with his father and get some things forced into motion. Lay false claims, paperwork of some such, that would claim the week of conception was also the same week Arthur had went on a hunting trip for a week…any excuse that would put Arthur out of the kingdom at that time. And he had Merlin to think about now…he couldn't have Merlin start this whole Clarissa stink up again. The prince was still amazed Merlin hadn't complained about it to his father. Arthur didn't think he would be so lucky about it a second time.

Merlin seemed to hesitate for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated the risks of bothering to answer him or not. The dry flesh of Merlin's lips cracked under the harsh press of his front teeth, but Merlin could only relish in the light stinging. As if it was his nails when they dug into his flesh all over again… "No." Merlin finally said, and ducked his head back down. "That wasn't the words she used. But she told me that the two of you are getting closer…have been, getting closer together in the last month. What else was I supposed to think?"

Arthur could feel the stiffness in his shoulders sagging in relief, thank god. That was one issue that was out of the way. No pregnancy, meant nobody was accusing the proof of an affair in Arthur's face as if the spawn was his progeny. This meant that Merlin was just doing the thing that he always did, blowing things out of proportion. But then again…Arthur rolled his memories around inside his head. Arthur had thought Merlin was talking straight out of his arse when he had been accusing Valiant, and then his whole assault had come to light. Arthur had thought Merlin had only seen a scene between Gwen and Morris and was overreacting, but it apparently turned out to be the truth…fuck. Arthur couldn't just call it a day and say they'd done enough talking, could he? No. Good god, he was gonna have to 'dig' some more, wasn't he? And that was when the rest of Merlin's sentence caught his ear…

"What…you…for god's sake!" Arthur slapped a hand on his forehead, forgetting that the move was best suited to a peasant, and not a noble man like him who should have been able to control his reactions better. But then again, when had Arthur ever hidden his reactions from Merlin? The prince ran that hand down his face, feeling his skin as it dragged down with his hand before it was bouncing back into place as his hand dropped. "You're not supposed to think I have touched her! Just because she says…" Arthur shook his head and brought his hands up, trying to talk about this as rationally as he could. "So we are going to have to take 'another' step back here to get to the bottom of this. From my understanding, Lady Clarissa and you have apparently talked. And she's been saying…Merlin, I think she was just trying to rile you up by her claims. Ladies of the court do that sometimes. Its just that they get bored, so they spout stories just to see what happens."

Arthur said this in a tone that said Merlin shouldn't care about it too much. Should just laugh it off, and then go to ignoring it. Before Merlin would have been up in arms, a fiery rage so tall that it could swallow buildings whole as he tried to figure out why Arthur wasn't more upset at it all. Why the prince wasn't pissed that somebody was starting stuff like this-spreading talks and rumors about affairs-for their own amusement. But After Merlin mutely nodded his head. Not because he agreed with Arthur or thought the prince was telling him the truth. But Merlin simply didn't want to get into another fight, and he was done with this. Arthur could continue to spout his lies to kingdom come, and Merlin would accept them as it was. There wasn't much he could do about it, anyway.

Arthur seemed to realize this, and scowled annoyingly before smoothing out his features, "Merlin," the prince said in a gentler voice, but Merlin wasn't buying any of it. The consort knew Arthur was only being nice to him because he wanted something from him: one being his cooperation with this meeting, when all Merlin wanted to do was tell him to shove it up his arse and leave him the hell out of it. The darkness that cloud his mind lingered on the fringes of his mind, and yet…Merlin struggled to sink back into it, Arthur's voice forcing him grounded in the real world. "Whatever she's told you…I have not seen Lady Clarissa in the last month. Not since…"

Arthur had gotten all the scare out of that situation after Merlin had left him when finding Clarissa standing inside his chambers and being inappropriate with him. He had been out of line, or at least…he'd been out of line when allowing them to get caught. He should have been much smarter about it, locked the door at least. Merlin would have never been the wiser if he'd been forced to knock for once, giving Arthur the chance he needed to tuck in his shirt. And with his father's warning to stay away from the lady still lingering in his mind, it had been quite the easy decision to stay away from the Lady. Or at least to make sure they were never alone together. He might've seen her around the court once or twice in the month of time since The Incident, but Arthur had always taken the time to make sure he was caught in conversation till she left. Arthur couldn't afford anymore mistakes similar to the one Merlin had walked in on.

Merlin stared at him, and then tried to walk away again, to get to the doors that would lead them to the entrance hall. But Arthur panicked and stepped in front of him, he could see Merlin's displeasure written all over his face. If Arthur could see it, then surely his father would notice it as well and start to ask questions. Somehow, Uther had yet to learn about the 'incident' that had occurred with all of them that day. And Arthur planned on keeping it to his dying breath, which couldn't be done if Clarissa was talking about odd things so openly, "Do you want me to talk to her? Make it clear that nothing more will happen. I'm a married man and all…"

That wasn't exactly something that Arthur wanted to do, but it would kill two birds with one stone if he did. Merlin would get that stupidly blank look off of his face, and for all Arthur knew, may actually say something useful when Merlin had one of those rare moments where he'd been actually right about something. Arthur doubted it, but if Merlin thought Arthur was being pro-active about all of this, it may at least smooth his features out long enough to get through this first meeting. And the second bird…Arthur would be able to stop Clarissa from spreading the word. Unlike Merlin, Arthur knew Clarissa would be a far more reasonable creature. She had grown in the life that he had, and knew the dangers of someone's reputation becoming damaged. She could be reasoned with, even smart enough to understand that there was a time and place for such things. But when it came to married men …there was no time or place for rumors of affairs to start spouting. Especially not when Arthur's situation was far more complicated, with the stipulations of the contract hanging over his head.

Merlin finally spoke, but not with the gratitude the blond had been hoping for. The consort finally raised his head-Arthur had been tempted to grab onto the smaller boy's chin and force his head up so that he could see his face much better, but Merlin had done it before he gotten the chance-and met eyes with Arthur. But just as fast as the blue met his, they were sliding away to look somewhere near Arthur's shoulder. "Our marriage is not something that you can wear to calm me. I'm already calm. I'm not upset, and I'm not angry. I want to go, and get this done with. And I want you to stop acting as if our arrangement was anything but that. An arrangement. Can you do that, or not?"

Merlin had grown far tired of hearing that phrase Arthur kept spewing-I'm a married man. One would think Arthur thought those words were some kind of wrap, as if that sentence was a bandage that could fix things between them, when in reality, would just be pushing the issues that lingered between them beneath the surface. All of the emptiness inside of Merlin, couldn't be fix because Arthur decided a simple phrase could assay Merlin into the perfect doll he wanted him to be. Merlin could play his part without the patronizing of Arthur lingering over him. And he could do it with an empty heart, and having a dull and lackluster smile. But he would not do any of it with Arthur pretending he was Merlin's perfect husband. As Merlin had learned…there was no such thing as being a perfect husband. But Merlin would at least want Arthur to be an honest one. Even if that honesty was one of the cruelest of men.

Merlin didn't wait for Arthur to respond, before walking around the prince. The distance between them had been small, inches away from the brush of pale skin against a darker tone. But the distance had never been larger then it was now. And Arthur didn't make one move to try and stop him from moving ahead, too busy goggling at the sight that Merlin had made. Merlin had sounded almost …wise, and pointed. And consort like, for a second there as he laid out plainly what he wanted from Arthur. And it wasn't an unreasonable request, unlike those requests Merlin had made of him before running off to see Gwen being released from the cells.

At least until Merlin, halfway down the hall, muttered just loud enough for Arthur to hear, "Keep Clarissa around if you want too. I won't say another word about her. You'll deserve each other. A man who will only ever care about his own reputation. And a woman who only wants what he can give her." His voice was as flat as could be, and it sounded as dull and as empty as the rest of him felt. But did Arthur notice…of course he didn't…and he wouldn't know until it became too late for him to fix things. "That sounds like a match made in heaven to me…"

A real match, Merlin thought as his eyes went half lidded and he returned his gaze back down onto the ground at his feet. A Lady of the Court, and a Prince from a noble kingdom…it truly sounded like a match made in heaven. A match written across the stars, in a way. One in where a peasant like him didn't belong, just the invader waiting until the stars themselves reclaimed his soul. Brought to a place beyond, where Merlin wouldn't have to watch as Arthur kept his mistress in the wings…a woman who had only eyes for the throne. Rather then the man she would have to attach herself too, to get it…

"Ha!" Arthur suddenly exclaimed, and was stomping his way down the hall like an oversized elephant towards his consort. "I knew that you were really mad. Trying to give me permission to do anything with her…" Arthur harshly shook his head, scoffing low under her breath. "Is that a trick or something you peasants use? Trying to make me do something so that you can swoop in and…" the prince cut himself off before he could give away the details that Merlin didn't know about the contract. "But anyway, you do not need to worry about a thing. I shall not be seeing the Lady Clarissa anymore, and my throne, as you said, will belong to you until we can find a way to actually get out of this…arrangement."

Merlin's steps started to slow, matching in rhythm with his own heartbeat as they neared the end of the hall and towards the grand doors, Arthur trotting along behind as if he was a gracious host. For agreeing to talk to Clarissa and for agreeing to make sure she wouldn't start things with Merlin again, and for agreeing that the throne that Merlin never wanted would forever belong to him. Plenty of things that Before Merlin would have been starstruck about, things Before Merlin would have taken as a sign that Arthur wasn't as cruel as he made himself out to be.

But he couldn't get that phrase out of his head-is that what peasants do?-as if peasants would forever be an unknown species to him. As if there was something far more than money and social standing that put peasants in a different category when compared to nobles. Before Merlin would have risen up to the fire brewing itself deep in his belly, tried to rein hell down on Arthur's head for being the insensitive man that he was. How can a prince hope to rule a kingdom, if he didn't see the people who stood below him as real people? The After Merlin though only tucked his head further down, and almost resting his chin against his own chest. There was no point with trying to fight Arthur. He would never see peasants, him, as anything more than what role they had been forced in by society's rules.

"…Are you even trying to look?" Merlin asked quietly, and he stopped just shy of reaching the doors. He had heard this same song and dance from Arthur so many times. It was Arthur, who'd started saying there may come a time where Merlin would be left behind in that stupid villa of theirs. Arthur who had once said there might come time for a proper queen to take Merlin's place once they had gotten him out of the way. And it was Clarissa who had came in and confirmed everything as a possible future in more than just Arthur's mind. And yet, Merlin had seen no evidence of this being true. "Or are you just saying all of this because you think it will placate me into doing my consort duties?"

If Arthur hadn't truly been looking for a way out of their marriage, then surely Merlin would have seen some sign of it. He had been in and out of Arthur's room plenty of times unprompted over the last few months, and there wasn't anything. No papers spread across Arthur's desk as he worked things out with the wording of the contract or even different possible villa options that he would be sending Merlin off to. He probably wasn't looking, Arthur most likely knew as well as he did, the truth of what their situation was. Arthur's talks had been nothing but that, a daydream of a different future where they would not be stuck together forever.

Arthur let out a cough, scratching across the back of his neck with blunt nails, because god, did Arthur hate the blunt attitude Merlin had seemed to develop. His fingers twitched to do something to him, something…bad…but he held them back. This wasn't the time for anything like that. Arthur didn't want to get back into his old habit of …doing weird things to Merlin again. "There's no need to have me do it, as the councilmen has already combed their way through all of the paperwork for themselves." The prince said, forcing any and all…weird things…out of his mind. It wasn't an appropriate train of thought, and he was already thinking about how King Bayard would react to his consort. He didn't need to fill his head with even more…unnecessary thoughts. Arthur waved one of his hands in a dismissive manner and said quickly, "You would think you would at least be pleased. But I suppose that nothing pleases you, does it? Not even knowing you are stuck with me."

Merlin hunched his shoulders up to his ears, and trying in vain to ignore Arthur right behind him. Even as he was reaching out to grab the handle of the door, but the boy did not let open it. Arthur didn't have any idea how easy he had it when compared to Merlin, did he? The prince was the one being looked at with sympathy, and people cooing over him, trying to help him feel better after the huge 'mistake' of marrying Merlin. Arthur wasn't the one who was being crucified by every stranger and their own mother every time he left the house. Wasn't being told to 'go back where he came from' and 'leave the kingdom along, you viper'. And yet…Arthur thought he should be grateful? Should be pleased that he's been tripped into the dirt and had that same dirt kicked in his face so hard that he had literally choked and coughed on it.

"Grateful…" Merlin repeated, the bitterness in his throat nearly choking him just as the dirt once had. But Merlin swallowed the words back before he could say them at all, words that would have been spitting a righteous fury that would scare even Prince Arthur Pendragon. But the consort knew that Arthur wouldn't care, so After Merlin forced the words to hover in the back of his throat, and swallowed them down like the tides would the sand on a beach. Replanting then with something softer, and more matter of fact rather then righteous, "I should show my gratefulness for being married to an abusive man? That is what you are telling me?"

It wasn't that long ago, that the prince had been crowing because of how right he was. About Merlin being mad as he slid in that snide comment about Clarissa. But truly to Merlin…he knew it truly couldn't have been further from the truth. Somewhere along this past month, Merlin had begun accepting what his role in life was. He wasn't mad about it anymore, there was no reason for him to try and throw his own anger into the ring. Nobody was going to respond to it, and nobody was going to change anything around here on account of him. Merlin would admit that he often got sad, but would sadness and depression be the same thing? Sadness seemed too little of a word for what he often felt. And even depression made him feel a bit like he was swimming, only swimming in an ocean he knew would never bring him back to shore. Merlin could only feel…resigned, nowadays. Sometimes, Merlin would even think that he deserved it. A punishment given right to him on the earthly plane for being different…

"You need to stop calling me abusive!" Arthur yelled at Merlin, his temper flaring as soon as the words left the consort's lips. A violent temper that made the insides of Merlin quiver, but the prince was too blinded by his own outraged emotions to care about his consort's. It'd been an entire month since Merlin had first accused Arthur of abuse, and their conversation that day had played itself on repeat in his mind several times since then. And the prince had tried to figure out through his memories of their previous encounters, what Merlin could have seen that made him think 'abuse'. Sure, there had been many moments where Arthur had given him a harsh word, had pushed him into things to get his attention proper. But none of those things were something Arthur could have clarified as 'abuse'. "If you keep saying that, people are going to start thinking that I slap you around. You and I both know I have never slapped you, so get that while 'I'm being abused, woe is me crap' out of your mind."

Merlin's insides still quivered, and he squeezed his eyes shut while keeping his back firmly to Arthur, shoulders hunched so tightly he could have been expecting a blow to hit him from behind. His hand squeezed tightly along the door handle now…how blind Arthur was, the consort thought, taking in a slow breath to try and force himself steady. How stupid he was…Merlin had been abused by many in the kingdom since he'd arrived. But even when he got his brief breaks away from Arthur, he would still consider the prince as his biggest tormentor. Hell, it had been an entire month since their last encounter, and the very first thing Arthur had done was yell at him about a thing of chicken.

Was it a commonplace thing around here, to yell about at others over something as small as a plate of chicken? Would Arthur had reacted the same if it had been Lady Clarissa demanding a personal platter of chicken should be brought straight up to her rooms? Somehow, Merlin didn't think it would have happened the same way it did with Merlin being the person standing there. Would the prince have reacted the same if Merlin really had been ordering that chicken to eat for himself, and if the blond knew Merlin hadn't had a meal in days. The few bites he had here and there to keep him going hardly counted. It would not surprise Merlin if Arthur thought withholding a precious commodity like food, was an acceptable action to undertake. But Merlin knew what the harsh gnarling of emptiness was like, when it felt as if his very stomach was trying to eat itself because it needed food. And the consort would not wish such a fate be cast over even his worse enemy.

It was only after Merlin had steadied himself, did his grip around the door handle loosen. And Merlin turned so he could look over his shoulder at Prince Arthur, "There has been a thousand different ways to abuse somebody," he said, lifeless blue meeting the agitated ones that bore a different shade. Where there was once enough lightning to power an entire modern day city, sparks flying every which direction as they both struggled with containing themselves…was now noticeably nothing. The fire and the heat and the anger, seemed to have sizzled out with Merlin's refusal to give into the baser instincts he'd been ruled by this entire time. "And if you cannot realize that by this point, then…there is truly no helping you, Arthur Pendragon."

Merlin left the hall, pulling the door open just enough for his slim body to fit through. The heavy door swung shut in Arthur's face, leaving the hall eerily silent and Arthur wondering what the hell just happened.