A Marriage that Started a Legend

by IJustShowedUp

Follows canon but with my own arranged marriage spin on it. What happens when Hunith makes a mistake and is forced on the run with her infant son? What happens when Camelot knights find her twenty years later? What happens when Arthur learns he's betrothed to a peasant boy? Will Merlin be able to stand among royalty? Will these two different boys survive each other? Review!

112. Chapter 112

Nimueh didn't have anybody she could admit this too-she'd became a solidarity creature by necessity. It was hard to get ally's in her one man crusade against Uther, after living all of these years running around the forests as if she was a cave woman. Her noble mother would have been horrified to see the life her daughter had been reduced to, living like a rat on the outskirts until enough time had passed before she found it was time to make her first act against the king-but there'd been an alternative reason for why Nimueh had reached out her hand for Merlin to shake it. Nimueh was a cleaver young woman, and she never did anything without having any kind of goal in mind, or reason for why she was doing it. She was not so stupid as to waste this time with a simple greeting to the consort though this greeting did end up killing two birds with one stone, as the saying goes.

On one hand, Merlin would be more endeared by her if the priestess was able to form some kind of connection to him. He would be more willing to believe her, when she would set into motion her second phase of the master plan she came here to do. It would be difficult-since Nimueh knew very well how to play with people's emotions, able to see through any person to know what they really cared about-for the consort in front of her to make friends with the counterpart she had crafted of herself, just for this little charade. And then turn her away the second she came to him later on, for his help against Bayard. Nimueh had watched many scenes with the boy since he had destroyed her monster, and while most of it had been a weak willed boy stuck in a cycle of depression, the kind Nimueh would have never allowed herself to fall as prey too-she was the predator, never the prey-she had been able to deduce that he was loyal to a fault. She had seen the traces of this with all his interactions with the king's ward of that strange serving girl that worked under her. Yes, Nimueh was not above manipulating that trait to get Merlin to act as she wanted him too, when she came for him later on.

But on the other hand, was Nimueh's second reason. And as Merlin's hand-clammy and sweaty-clasped into her own, the woman's grinned widened as she felt those sparks of magic tingling their way up her arm. The warmth of his glow made quick work of finding their way up the sleeve of her dress to her neckline, and Nimueh was forced to hide her shudder or risk Merlin asking questions. Questions she could not try to answer as long as she was still going by the name of 'Cara', the name having been the serving girl she had killed to take the place of. But hiding it from Merlin, did not stop Nimueh's keen body from reacting to the sensation. She could feel tall these phantom touches of Merlin's magic working down the length of her body. Even if this was only in her mind, she felt

euphoric. Electricity danced along her body, causing her to have a physical reaction. The hair on her arms and the nape of her neck was standing on end. Her nipples were so hard, she could feel them rubbing against her wool dress in a way that positively…ached…but the pain only heighten whatever pleasure the was feeling. If the dress had been any thinner, she could have drawn Merlin's eyes down, to catch hold of her interest. She was absolutely positive that they would be hard enough-like little diamonds almost-they could've been seen through the fabric of her normal dresses. And her hole clenched around an empty space that Merlin should've filled up already with his magic. So Nimueh could be full of him on both the outside, and the inside.

How, Nimueh had to ask herself once again, as she gave the hand in hers a short squeeze, trying to wring out every bit of pleasure that magic gave her even if it would leave Merlin to be high and dry, did Merlin not see the evidence of her lust in her eyes? He had to have known by now the effect he had on her, surely he could not be this obtuse as to not see and then try to 'take advantage' of the poor serving girl he was thinking her to be. But as Merlin seemed unaware of all the magic that spilled out of him like a beacon, it could be quite possible that he was unaware of the effect he had on people like her, people who lived by the rules of the old religion. But Nimueh was sure even Merlin would get the message should she do something desperate to catch his attention. She had always been a more direct person-before she was forced to live the way she was-and surely Merlin would know exactly what she wanted if she reached underneath her dress. And pushed her undergarments down her thighs, down along to her knees, and let them flop onto the floor around her feet. Her undergarments was so damp with her juices, the weight alone would have made the squishy sound they made quite audible even a man nearly deaf would have heard the sound of her pleasure hitting the floor.

But Nimueh would not need to go that far, as she was quite a prideful woman. She could get Merlin to follow her, could get him to touch her, without such dirty tricks. Manipulating a man was easy, and that she had no quarrel with doing to the consort. But dropping her undergarments sounded as if it was something a cheap whore would have done. If there's anything that Nimueh could be called, cheap wouldn't have been a word associated with her. But now was not the time for any of that to begin with, Nimueh could only expect for King Uther to unwittingly distract Bayard, leaving him out of his rooms for long enough to do her work. She would have Merlin, of that she was sure, and her core throbbed at the mere notion. But today would not be that day. But Nimueh frowned still, when Merlin withdrew his hand from her, thus severing their magical connection through touch.

And…there was something else as well, that had Nimueh's lips go thin and stalk white. It wasn't that Merlin and her no longer touching had stopped her from feeling the gold rays of his magic. Even when she had just been standing here in front of him, or before she had found him, Nimueh had been feeling all over his magic. Like a groper who saw what it was they wanted, and had no qualms about grabbing at it. But all the magic, it kept…disappearing on her. Nimue would feel all of it in short bursts, like the magic was so powerful that the body it was in couldn't keep a proper leash on it. But then it would fade, disappearing as fast as it had came. If Nimueh was not standing in front of him when the magic leaked out of him, she would have wondered rather or not he really was the sorcerer she had been watching for all these weeks. The boy in front of her, when his magic vanished from her sight, could have passed as somebody…ordinary. Somebody that was so frightening ordinary, that Nimueh would have gone ahead and snapped their neck on principle. Because of how extremely 'boring' and a waste of human space they were.

Nimueh wanted to peel back the human skin the boy wore so she could get a peek underneath, to try and find out just why this was. It was just like the wisps she had seen along the walls that had led her to him, growing brighter when she neared his physical presence. She had figured the boy was fighting the connection he had to the land that was trying to form without his permission, subconsciously. But that didn't explain why Merlin himself was struggling to connect to his magic. Why it was being shoved down so deeply inside him, she could barely feel it at all. Just because Merlin wanted to have nothing to do with this retched place, shouldn't have caused his magic to behave as it did. A person's body-those who had an affinity for it-were equipped to handle the strain that came with holding their natural magic. It came as if this was second nature to them, and grew better once they had learned how to control it for themselves. This whole…act of disappearing, was unheard to Nimueh. Though she did have a few different theories running in her mind for how it could have happened. And what she would have to do to cause all of that magic to be unleashed, so it could be free to roam all the land. So it could be free to slide its way up her dress and touch her covered bits.

Nimueh's mouth watered as she grew more wanting, but the consort was looking at her face and nowhere else. And the priestess cleared her throat, curling her arms around those two pillows she had pressed under her bosom, "But if I may be so bold as to mention…with all seriousness, I really feel as if I have to tell you how…impressed I am by you. I believe I have heard more stories than I could count about you, since I have entered the city. And each one of them seems to have been more unbelievable then the last. If any of them are true by even a fraction, then…I believe I know what must've been impressive enough to woo the prince into a marriage. I have found myself curious to know what the story behind the love marriage is. Not many nobles will marry because they found love with someone. It must have been quite the honor, being able to give Arthur your hand in marriage and not having the match be spurned by Uther because of your…heritage. This is almost an inspiration for the rest of us, if you do not mind me saying this, your grace."

And Nimueh ducked her head down, pressing her face into the top curve of her pillow, as if she thought she had said to much during her rambling. She wanted to push, and to prod, and see if she could get Merlin's anger-at how unfair it was to be in his situation-to stir. Magic was responded by those who had the strongest emotions, it was how many people discovered their affinity in the first place, now that it wasn't a common practice to try things in the streets. When there was a person who was scared-fearing for their live scared-or when they were angry-so angry, their entire vision could be tinged in red-it could force out the magic. Like a punch to the gut, causing things to explode. It was why it was so important for people like her-powerful people-to learn how to control their magic. To train until they could only do their magic with words and talismans and magic stones to use as a conductor, to help focus the magic. The more powerful or so a person was, the worse the explosion could be if they've had no previous training. And she wanted to needle at this untrained boy in front of her, the boy who didn't need to use spells like the rest of them, from what she had seen when it was time for her favorite thing to do: spying on the consort with her water bowl. And what could push the boy towards the brink faster then bringing up his relationship with Prince Arthur, once again. Giving him false hope that she would be treating him like a normal citizen, and then snatching it away just as fast by reminding him…he wasn't a normal citizen. Or reminding him that he didn't have a normal story like others did.

Reminding him of the contract Nimueh had witnessed being signed all those years ago…might push the magic out of him for Nimueh's own greedy purposes. She didn't like it when it was suppressed. What was the point in Merlin at all, if there was no magic to make him special? If Merlin was not able to preform her for, like a dancing money jumping at the snap of her fingers, then she might as well go ahead and have him put out of his misery by killing him for real. That was an idea she could entertain if she couldn't figure out how to keep all the magic pouring out of him on a more constant basis. But it was far too early for her to be making those kinds of harsh judgement calls. Not before she could understand this rare phenomenon a bit more. Not until she could settle on one of the many theories running through her mind. Nimueh would never know the truth if she destroyed the only thing known to man that could cure the poisoning she had conducted in her cave. The poisoning she would coerce Merlin to drink…there was luckily, not any long term damage once the cure ended up successfully administered. Which would leave his magic untainted once her warning was made clear. Not even those living directly in the heart of the city, would be safe to her wrath.

But the magic didn't break free as she wished it too..and the priestess was forced to listen to Merlin ramble on, while not having the added benefit of basking in his golden light.

"Oh, yes, well Arthur and I…we've already been a bit private about our lives outside of the court. Keeping what little we can keep to ourselves for as long as we can. You know…to keep the romance alive, and all of that…" Merlin stuttered in a helpless way, pulling at the pillow in his hands so tightly, it was a surprise the thing didn't splinter and pull apart at the seams. He tried to keep up with the conversation, tried his hardest to make himself look a bit less like a freak then he was feeling. Merlin looked desperately over Cara's head to find Gaius standing behind her, and the old man was giving him a look, encouraging him to say something else that did not make him feel like a fool. It made Merlin feel like a child who needed to have his hand held, or be encouraged to try and make a new friend the first day he was allowed to play with the other kids once he was old enough to know magic needed to be kept secret. Merlin's jaw clenched, and he spit out the first thing he thought of, something that would move away from the 'love story' Cara seemed interested in talking about. "But between you and me…Arthur needs a bit more help then you think. He needs somebody like me to help him keep the place up and running…"

As soon as the final word escaped his lips, Merlin hunched his shoulders in as if he feared the repercussions of what he had just said. As if he thought somebody-possibly Arthur, if he wasn't looking for him already-would come down to rein their own hell on his head for daring to insinuate he was of any real importance in Camelot. But…nobody came for him. And Arthur was already going to be mad about that rumor…would he really be mad about something as small as this. It seemed likely, though. And something that had been said in a brief moment of desperation…Merlin didn't want Cara to be 'impressed' by him, because she thought he was living some epic love story for the ages. Something people would go on to write sonnets, and ballads, and stories about…that was the kind of thing that would never happen to somebody like him. He didn't want Cara to be 'inspired' by him, as if he had only made his mark on the world because nobody could expect a peasant to marry so high up. As if the only thing he could be proud of, was to be married to somebody who had been born into a position of power. It was cheap, when the consort knew there was so many other things he could have been known for.

But those were the thoughts of an idealistic dreamer, those were the thoughts lingering in the back of his mind that was almost mom-existent. From the Before Merlin. And he would never be that boy again. Even if everything fixed themselves by morning. Even if this rumor disappeared before the blond prince could hear them, or if Arthur allowed himself to show him that it was false instead of just making accusations…the people could start being nicer to him, and the knights could show a bit of respect for the man that saved them all from a deadly plague…and Merlin would still not revert back to the boy he had been. He'd been through to much heartache, he had lived through a bit more trauma than the average farm boy ever would have…and Merlin knew he could never allow himself to return to what once was. It would only give him a chance to be hurt again. Merlin didn't know what stories the Mercia girl could have been hearing about him, but if it was any version that Merlin had heard, then she was obviously only being polite to him. Polite to the consort because she thought she had to be, stroking his ego as if he was one of them…Merlin doubted he had found a new friend here. But anyway…what else could he say to her? It's not like he could tell her the truth, or tell her his version, or bitch about how being in the castle was making him nervous since his loving husband was liable to find him at any minute…it would have been selfish of him. To unload all of this onto the other girl, unsuspecting as she was of the turmoil she may have just walked into. Hell, her referring to his 'peasant background' as his 'heritage' was probably the nicest thing she could've done when compared to what others had spit at him.

And to emphasize how absolutely 'nice' Cara was being to him-despite her lack of judgment when it came to topics of discussion-she smiled at him. Merlin shifted, even though it was far from the first time Cara had smiled at him since she had first fell over in front of him, it still made him way more uncomfortable. Leaving him looking for the trick or catch he was starting to wonder would ever come, "Oh, I think I truly believe that." Cara said calmly, in response to Merlin's poor joke on running things around the kingdom…if he ran things around here, maybe he wouldn't be feeling completely awful about himself all the time. Maybe he wouldn't find himself still hovering between 'freaked' and 'trying to hold himself together' over a bunch of rumors that shouldn't have meant anything. "From what I have seen, every great ruler, even a ruler to be, needs to hand somebody standing behind them. A queen, or a consort…but between you and me…"

Merlin had been wondering if Cara knew anything about the Pendragon family. Because if she did, she would surely have been aware that the Pendragon's didn't need anybody to be standing with them. Uther had never remarried after his wife had died when Arthur was born, and Arthur had made sure to let Merlin know how unneeded he was. Sure, Merlin had been lucky a few times, and had saved Arthur's life almost a handful of times since they've met, but…what did any of that count for anything? If Arthur knew just how much running or panicking or research or figuring things out he had done to save his life and save his precious kingdom and…none of it mattered. If Arthur knew how much 'work' Merlin had been putting into things he knew he wouldn't be appreciated for, it would still lead to him on the pyre. Questions would have been asked on how Merlin did the things he did if he tried to get a bit of recognition and good faith towards himself, and questions was only one step away from discovery. But…the serving girl was looking back and forth, paying his uncle no attention as she made sure nobody had entered the hallway during their talk. Merlin followed her lead, glancing around to make sure that nobody had followed him. He could feel all the hair on the back of his neck standing on end, and Merlin could have sworn Arthur had eyes focused on him. But that was nothing other then his own paranoia, Arthur hadn't even found him yet. And if he was lucky, Arthur was so busy that he had yet to hear the rumors swirling around Merlin.

Cara apparently deemed the hall to be a safe space for her to speak freely, because the woman was turning back to him and arching one of her eyebrows in generous amusement, "I know it's not the most popular opinion. But I think that kings and their families would do much better if they had another standing up beside them. Not somebody, a consort even, if I can say, standing behind them and doing all of the stuff that stays in the background. Why, I bet there is plenty of things you may have had a hand in that nobody hears about. Arthur might need more help in the upcoming days…should Mercia and Camelot's treaty stand tall as the king's hope they will."

Merlin felt his breath when it caught in his throat, and Merlin swerved his eyes back around to meet with Nimueh's own, a much more vivid blue then he thought his own could've ever been. She…speaking like that was practically taboo. It might have seemed simple, a comment made casually, but Merlin had lived here for long enough to know that something like that would have gotten her fussed at, if a noble had walked in on those words. Hell, perhaps something even worse was in store-like a flogging-if the specific noble was in a certain type of mood. Or maybe that was just the way Merlin's own experience, since everybody was on the look out-or willing to make things up on the spot-just for the chance of being the one to mess with him. But anyway…it kind of reminded Merlin of how he used to talk. When he had been idealistic, and still new to Camelot. Like when Morgana had grilled him during one of their first real conversations about the throne, when he had been sitting with her and Gwen just before the first match of the tourney. Merlin had spoke them, about he being willing to try doing whatever he could to help Arthur take care of the burden that was the throne. Of course, that was then and this was now. And Merlin had come to learn he wasn't going to be asked to help with anything, because the prince he called his husband didn't want his help. But…this did make Merlin wonder rather or not he had been too quick when he decided Cara would not be a new friend. She could very well need somebody to protect her if she spoke out like that often. Though perhaps her status as a guest inside the kingdom would be enough to protect her from the worse of it…?

Cara looked down the hall, and suddenly seemed to realize something, if the expression on her face was anything to go by, "Oh, I am so sorry to hurry this on, Consort Merlin. But I do believe my king will be looking for me if I am not where I am suppose to do. Though perhaps," Cara's eyebrow lifted a little higher up her forehead, and she seemed to almost dare Merlin with a confidence that Merlin himself wondered if he had ever had. "We could do this another time? I would love to get to know you more, while I am still in the city. I mean, as long as you don't mind being seen with a foreign peasant girl while our kings are busy with the treaty. But of course, I would completely understand if they need you to be there to do your part?"

Nimueh was quite wicked indeed-easily fighting away any of the annoyance she felt over Merlin's magic never returning-because of how she was able to word things. It was far too easy to make Merlin feel guilty if he tried turning down her request. On one hand, he could prove himself to be just as any noble, too embarrassed to spend time out in public with a girl he thought offered him no social standing. And on the other hand, if he did agree…then Nimueh knew that she had managed to ensnare him in her grasp, without having to use her compulsion spells-the same type of spell she had used to lure the serving girl away from the caravan she had been traveling with to take her place-to get him to do whatever it was that she wanted. She certainly wouldn't mind him falling to his knees, and pushing his head between her thighs so he could lap away at her womanly juices. It would be a good experiment, to see if the same spark of magic that traveled up her arm before it had vanished, would cause a physical reaction from her through the tongue. But no matter, since again…Nimueh could not encourage the boy to follow along with her from this castle, where only she would be the only one to feel the rush of untapped magic coating her skin. Not while she still had this dastardly plan to see through.

But Merlin…If there had been any doubt that Nimueh would decide to lure the boy onto her side of this way-albeit a very slow and careful plan to ensure the boy was forever loyal to her, would need to be made-it was erased away. Since that golden sorcerer hadn't wasted her time with telling her the life story she already knew the high points of. True, his lying had been awful-what fools wanted to keep their 'epic love' a secret between only themselves?-but he had some sense of self preservation. Not spilling even the barest minimum that he could afford on the stranger who had been nice to him. A queen of the chess board, was the most powerful piece on the game because she knew how to keep her army around her. Knew how to keep them loyal to her protection…Nimueh knew the power a few pretty lies could make when ensuring a man's loyalty. She was casting a few pretty lies herself at this moment by just being here, talking to Merlin and easily convincing him that she was harmless. The mate to a great and powerful priestess just as himself, needed to know the things that were okay to mention. And which things needed to be kept as close to the vest as possible. And after she'd won him over onto her side, she would be there to nurture the spirit within. To feed into his ego…until she had drained every bit of golden energy he had flooding throughout his body. Once it was gone, Nimueh would have no use for him and could dispose of him as such.

Nimueh wanted until Merlin raised his eyes back once again to look at her-he did that a lot, she had noticed. Looking at his feet as if he was too scared to look back up and see the world past his shaggy mop of hair. But Nimueh would train that out of him. Nobody would take him seriously if he was looking like a scared little puppy. But for now, that trait the prince had forced him to develop with his negligence could only be used to her advantage-and when he finally did look at her, she gave him a pointed look. Her eyes alone, should have been enough for Merlin to realize why she had not left already. Not without leaving one last impression on the boy before she went, ensuring that he would trust her without a doubt the next time she came for him. His trust would have to be the key needed, if she expected for her plans to head the correct way.

It took Merlin way too long to realize her eyes were darting down to the pillow he was still holding. The pillow that Cara had apparently been carting to King Bayard, and this pretty red color that would have startled and infuriated Arthur-if the prince had been around to see it-spread along the top of his cheekbones, bringing out the blue in his eyes. And Merlin's mouth dropped open a bit with absolute horror, as he came to a horrible conclusion. It was no wonder the girl hadn't left yet! Merlin was essentially holding her hostage, by not immediately handing over her belongings. Yes, the King had been nice, but Merlin was unsure if that was only because he thought he couldn't offend the prince's newest consort. And sure, Cara had already claimed that Bayard would not have her flogged, but…Merlin had seen a lot of things nobility was capable of. King Uther had went back on the deal they had made, and tried to have him killed, for god sake!

Nice or not, Merlin didn't really know Bayard. And he did not want to be the man that trialed the patience of the guest in their castle. Merlin already knew Uther, and probably Arthur this time around, would choose guests over him. They had with Valiant, and while Arthur had turned around his stance on that at the last second, these were a very different kind of circumstance. He couldn't rely on Arthur to stand up for him when his father had nearly arrested him instead of just listening to the tale of them destroying the beast. Merlin had no reason to believe Arthur would interfere in something he knew had nothing to do with him. And with Arthur already so mad at him, he doubted the prince would try to stop it if the king decided to punish Cara. Merlin would never want to see somebody being punished just because they stopped for all of two seconds to be nice to him. Merlin did not think even he, would've been able to handle the crippling guilt it would have left him with.

Merlin knew very well how testy nobles could get about the belongings they had, as if it couldn't be replaced the exact second they snapped their fingers. Hell, Merlin could vividly remember that one time, right after Merlin had walked in on Arthur and Clarissa…he and Arthur had somehow ended up completely trashing Arthur's room as the prince chased him around it like a bat out of hell. Arthur had ended up catching him by the wardrobe, and dragging him away from where he was clinging onto the clothes. But at some point before that, in Merlin's mad haste to try and escape the lunatic that was chasing him-back when he still had the strength inside to be angry with Arthur, rather then the ball of fear he was now-he had flung himself across the bed. Blankets had been ripped off-as well as the curtains that hung around it-but that had been more Arthur's fault since he had tried to use those red blankets to drag Merlin back to him before Merlin had ended up flipping off the other side. But anyway, as their struggling had grown worse, Merlin had left behind impressive looking bootprints along Arthur's pillows. Arthur had shrieked at him like a madman as if they couldn't be washed and had thrown something-one of the million of boots he owned that ended up scattered across the floor at some point-at his head right before trying to jump him again.

"Oh! Right! Yeah, I'm sure…I'm sure that you will want this to be returned to you. It's…I'm sure King Bayard will be pleased with it…" Merlin stuttered, his flush growing deeper when he realized he was 'still' holding the pillow. Merlin wanted to go ahead and fling it onto the stack in his hands, as if the pillow had burned him. Anything for his new possible friend-was it possible that he had just made a friend? A friend outside the kingdom, who had no idea what the popular opinion on him was all about?-to stop thinking he probably had some kind of weird pillow hoarding problem going on. But he didn't, as he was sure throwing a pillow at her would leave Cara with a worse impression of him. God, this was exhausting. Before Merlin hadn't worried nearly as much about how people saw him, he just kept living his life the best he could. But those days of innocence were long gone, and Merlin found himself placing the pillow on top of the stack Cara had. Gently, and careful. Treating the pillow as if it was a delicate flower, the kind that had petals that would rip off at the slightest bit of wind because of how delicate it was. Merlin brought his fist up and coughed into it, awkwardly, when he pulled himself away from the girl. "Those are some…very nice pillows. So, maybe I should see about getting some added into my own room…"

And Merlin wanted to beat himself over the head, he'd been trying to recover some of the good manners his mother had taught him-peasant good, but apparently not good enough for nobility-by complimenting the pillows. But the only thing he had done was make himself sound as if he really was just another noble, and a pretentious one at that. Merlin tried to imagine for one second, those throw pillows being laid out on his own rickety bed at Gaius'. And he couldn't imagine it at all, Merlin had tried escaping his Royal suite for a reason, and it was to get away from all the crap that reminded him he was in a world vastly different from his own. Perhaps he could somehow savage this…maybe he could offer to escort her up to where their kingly guest would be sleeping during his stay-Merlin could guess well enough where that was…in the northern wing of the castle. Far enough from the wing in the south where the Royal suite was located. But still looked far more elaborate then the other halls filled with fifty rooms all unused that Merlin had stumbled upon back when he had been exploring the castle on a more regular basis.

Merlin even opened his mouth to do just that, but he forced himself to stop before he got the first word to come out his mouth. His eyes had focused on Gaius behind Cara, who'd started to gesture with his hand somewhere down the hall, indicating that they had to go. Merlin closed his mouth when he remembered the bigger issue he had been running from just before he ran into Cara. And his jaw clenched sharply to swallow down the words. It was probably for the best, he did not ask her anything. He was already some kind of cheater, a man with no morals who would disappear into any man's room to…what? Merlin could only assume any date like that would involve some kind of meal picnicked on the floor. He would be fine with a date like that, happy even, if it was with the right man. But the timing, and his life, and his own awful marriage that made catching a guy's attention impossible…it was also the fact that nobody would want him. Merlin found he was too damage for anything to take on. It was probably for the best that he distanced himself far away from Cara. Before she got dragged into this mess he'd been forced to call his life. For all Merlin knew, the next rumor he would hear passing through these halls, would be all about how he had been stalking a poor serving girl. Escorting her to her destination would have ended up with something like that being completely blown out of proportion. God! It really was exhausting, and another thing gone from what life had been for him. He now had to watch being nice to someone, or he was accused of having sinister purposes…hell, Merlin was still convinced he was the reason Cara had tripped over herself in the first place. And he hadn't even touched her! It would be far too easy for the next rumor to spread about as if it was the gospel truth, if Merlin could convince himself he had been the reason for her falling. Or maybe he really was a bit touched in the head, and thought that everything was his own fault.

Nimueh, now that she had her three pillows in hand, started to walk around Merlin with a little swish to her hips, stopping as she reached beside him, looking up at him through those long and dark eyelashes she knew drew attention to her eye color, "It really was nice meeting you, Consort Merlin. I had a great time. Though, if I might be so bold to continue," the priestess started again, lingering close enough to the other boy that their arms could have brushed if she had leaned to him. Nimueh was desperate, knowing she had stayed for far too long, and knowing she needed to start working onto the next phase of her plan, but also needing another dose of his magic to fill her before she went. Like a drug and an addict, Nimueh needed her dose to carry her to the nefarious plan she had concocted. But Merlin's magic was quiet, drawn in him as if it knew who she was. Knew what she was. And the magic knew to hide from the strength of her own. But that would not do, Nimueh wanted the magic to shine along her, for her own pleasures. The mate to a priestess-for as long as she would allow him to be-should not hide whatever she wanted from her. Nimueh licked her lips, once again moving with confidence that she would leave a lasting impression to the sorcerer, "I would like to remark that you are quite kind for a noble. I wasn't expecting for much when I first heard a peasant had ascended up the ranks of Camelot's throne. So many people, if they sat where you are now, would've taken advantage of the opportunity. And from what I have seen in this city, you…haven't. You seem just as gentle as any other boy I might have met."

Nimueh was a mistress of deception, and redirection, and she knew even her words could be even more powerful then her spells. With anybody else, they would have flattered into submission-only if it was a part of her plan because she was liable to squash them into a bug, if their usefulness had ran it's trek-but with Merlin, it was different. He wanted to be a recognized figured, but not because of who he was or who he had married. He wanted to be noticed for whatever his own accomplishments were, and to not have them thrown to the side as if they didn't matter. Even if this entire kingdom would have already been dust underneath her feet if he had not intervened with her plan. But perhaps it was for the best that this had happened after all. If Camelot had became the dusty wasteland she wanted it to be, she wouldn't have had any reason to come to the city, unless she was feeling just a touch nostalgia and visited the king on his deathbed just to gloat in his face about what she had done. And finally have been able to put her revenge to rest, and move on with her life instead of this one thing being the only thing that could keep her going. But if this had happened, there was a good chance she might have never ran across Merlin in person. It would have been a travesty, if she had never came across all this golden light, if she had never felt the sheer power of the magic as it thoughtfully brushed against her body…her loins ached for it to touch her there.

Merlin dragged his eyes away from his uncle, so that he was able to look back at Nimueh. "…I suppose we're not all that bad." He said softly, feeling disassociated from what he had been doing. Stupid, stupid, stupid Merlin…allowing himself to be suckered into a conversation with somebody that was nice to him. Merlin couldn't afford to do things like that, not when he had so many bigger issues that needed to be taken care of. So many bigger issues that needed Merlin to get out of here…he should be running somewhere. Merlin should've been trying to find someplace to hide, someplace where his husband would never be able to find him. Not with all of the wrath and anger and injustice Merlin was sure was brewing, and heading his way. Cara was nice, and in another lifetime, he supposed they could have been friends. But, like he had said before, her own innocence shouldn't be ruined because Merlin had the sudden-as brief as it had been-urge to make a new friend. Merlin was bitter, forged by the life and role he was forced into, but nobody said Cara had to live with any of the same bitterness that would spread along onto her if she tried to associate with him.

Cara nodded her head, and Merlin watched, sulking, when the other girl started to walk pass him-because leave it to his problems as the consort to ruin the one thing that may have been good for him. The serving girl only made it a few steps away before she stopped, and looked back over her shoulder at him, "You know…I told you that I have heard of a few things about you since I've entered the city. But one of the things I haven't told you…I heard that the union you have with the prince is not a happy one. I just wanted you to know that…it's his lost if he cannot appreciate the kindness you've shown me today."

Cara started to talk away, an added swish in her step that the consort-but not his uncle-completely missed. Merlin could only feel the dreading horror creep upon his soul, a renewing of his pain hitting him so sharply, that it took his literal breath away. It was one thing to know Cara must've heard some of the worser things about him, nothing could be said about him without his mistakes being thrown into his face. But to have her say that…to know she knew about it all and had still came to talk to him. It was embarrassing, their kingdom had only arrived in the city that morning, and news of him had already spread to the Mercia servants when they were mingling about with Camelot's. His marriage was but a sham, and even news of it would start to travel outside the boarders of the kingdom. Merlin's name would definitely be known, only it would forever be latched to the second title he had managed to collect during his stay in the kingdom: the Unwanted Consort. His chest was feeling tight again, it felt as if he was breathing in through a small tube. But Cara only smiled, and continued to walk away as if she had said something worthwhile to him.

It wasn't Arthur's loss if he couldn't appreciate Merlin, that was such a foolish thing to say. It was Merlin who couldn't take a step without setting off some change of events. This was Merlin's fault, for why Arthur had been so upset after he had walked the both of them out of Bayard's meeting. It was Merlin's fault for not putting a stop to the newest rumor that was circulating about him before he had even know it would pop up. It was…everything was Merlin's fault. There was no wonder that Arthur was so upset with him all of the bloody time. Because Merlin deserved for him to be upset with. He was the one screwing up Arthur's life. The reason why he'd be going red in the face, as if a blood vessel had popped in his head, once the latest rumor got to him. It was Merlin, he was…impossible to deal with. Merlin knew that now. And he knew it was Arthur's life that would have gotten smoother if Merlin had never walked into it. Nobody would ever be able to tolerate Merlin. Not the mystery man everyone must think he had been dating…a hot flush of burning embarrassment and shame graced him. Not Cara, who didn't know the kind of trouble it would bring into her life being around him. Not Arthur…who…Merlin didn't want to think of the pain that was going to be ensnarling him the next time Arthur caught onto him…but…

X

Nimueh, as soon as she walked around the corner, allowed her secretive smile drop into a hateful scowl. Yes, her plan had worked without a hitch. She was positive that the other boy would have no problems with following after her when she started phase three of her plan. She hadn't doubted her plan would work. Her plans were too ingenious and was too carefully planned out to suffer from any serious setbacks. It had suffered a setback though…Nimueh hadn't expected to be affected by Merlin's magic as she was. His power was to be expected, but…not to this extent. Walking towards King Bayard's room, where she would commence the second part of her plan, did nothing to alleviate the ache that continued to throb in her neither regions. In fact, it only seemed to be making it worse…and with each wave of pleasure forcing it's way up her hips, made Nimueh's determination to own that sorcerer even higher than it had been before.

Nimueh would have eaten the boy whole, if she knew she'd be able to forever live with a part of that magic growing and latching onto her own body to nourish it. Merlin was literally a fountain of magic that she could have siphoned out of him herself. Using gems and tools she had gained over the years to slowly drain the magic out of the boy, so slowly that he'd never know it until he was too weak to fight back against her enchantments. Until then though, Nimueh wouldn't mind the boy around…like a collection plate that somebody hangs up just to have the best and most rare plate around, but doing nothing worthwhile, other then collecting dust. But Nimueh couldn't just leave with him, Merlin wouldn't trust her by this point to just 'come' of his own violation. And she knew King Uther would follow to the ends of the earth to get him back into his possession. And not because he cared for the boy. It was only his own pride that ruled Uther, not allowing the boy to escape from him. Even worse if he ever discovered there was an added hand-hers-in his disappearance. If she would take him…it would have to wait until she had made a proper headway in her vengeance. Where Uther would have far too many other problems to deal with, that he would be forced to abandon Merlin to her for the time being.

Yes…a nasty smirk appeared on Nimueh's lips, knowing she would need the patience to not cast some kind of sleeping charm on Merlin before spiriting him away to her cave. The priestess had been young, many years ago, and believing in romance…she had allowed Balinor to dismiss the brief crush she had on him back in the day, believing him when he had announced his love for Merlin's mother. But she was older then she was now, wiser then she had been…and knew that nothing triumphed power. Balinor had been quite powerful, but his heir…was even more so. Nimueh had gave up being around the father, but she would not make the same kind of mistake with the son. As long as Merlin had his glow-at least until she could find a way to siphon magic out of this human host-he would be hers. Nimueh had decided it, and so she knew it shall be. Rather or not Merlin was willing…maybe it hadn't been a bad call to let go of Balinor all of those years ago. Not if she could have somebody more powerful then he could ever hope to have became.

Nimueh's only regret with her interaction with Merlin, would be how she was forced to walk away before she could drag anymore of his magic up towards the surface. Nimueh had lingered for as long as she could, but she could not sit there and try to understand why Merlin's magic kept disappearing from her sight. She had to be quick, if she was going to get the second part of her plan put into motion while the King of Mercia was still away from his rooms. So until the next time she got to return to Merlin's side, she would have to simply live with the memory of the magic on her skin, the sight of the glow that lingered on the walls, and the pleasant throb forever haunting her between her legs…

X

Merlin didn't know how he had gotten to become so numb with the life he had been given, how he'd gotten to the point where he allowed his anxiety to rule him, where he reacted to the panic as if his life depended on it…but it was probably because it did. One wrong move, one wrong misstep…Merlin knew he had to get out of here but his feet was rooted down to the spot where he stood. Long after Cara had already left him behind, sucking in breath as if he was wheezing. Merlin knew it wasn't healthy to have so much anxiety within such a short span of time, but…what did Merlin care any about his health? It wasn't as if he could control these things, all of it happened without his permission. Do you know what it's like to be in your own body, but have absolutely no control over what was happening? Merlin knew, and he didn't like feeling the sensation. Feeling out of control…his nails were literally aching to dig back into his wrist. To dig them deeply in the skin, allowing the blood to flow freely as he struggled with finding himself underneath the pealed skin. But he knew it would offer him no answers, knew there was nothing that he could do to calm himself down, knew his fingers were stiff along his sides and felt frozen as if they were made out of ice itself so he couldn't have dug them into his skin even if he wanted too…and his brain felt the worse, just as frozen as his fingers were.

Merlin's mind was on a loop, keeping him trapped within the nightmare he could never escape from. Arthur…Arthur…the Bloody Prince of Camelot…the name had graced his mind that last time, and it refused to leave him. Without having a distraction-like the one Cara had made for him-he was only able to think about what Arthur was going to do to him when he came for him. The rumor…the mystery man that he knew had no business being mentioned within the court because he did not exist…the yelling he would be forced to endure. It was like…Merlin should be calm, because he knew whatever it was he should expect. The yelling and the grabbing or the violent touches as the prince maneuvered him however the prince wanted him to be…Arthur had already tried to remove his clothes when he had tried to force Merlin to remove the neckerchief-the one thing he had that made him feel safe as it reminded him of home-before they saw the King. He knew there was very little Arthur was able to do to him that he had not done to him already, and in retrospect…that should have calmed Merlin. He had lived through it all, right? He may've developed a disorder where raised voices made him flinch, or touching he wasn't prepared for psyching him out, or the whole breathing through a tube thing when everything was becoming too much…but he had survived. He could survive another attack.

He should just be bloody grateful he hadn't done anything that was so bad, Arthur would lock him down in the cells…in that godforsaken dungeon that drained his energy, and the iron bars that burned him as if there was a living fire trying to burn him from the inside out. And Merlin was grateful for it…but by god, what Arthur's reaction was going to be left him shaking to the core. But there was nothing that Merlin hadn't survived, and he had no evidence that this one rumor would be the end of him…it didn't matter how many times he had wished he could end his own life, the idea of Arthur taking it from him like he took everything else…maybe it was because Merlin knew the real truth that Arthur did not. The consort might still live, he might still drag air into his lungs and live his day as normally as he was able too…doing what he had to do to get by…but he was dead inside. His survival did not mean anything, if he felt as shitty as he always did…but he didn't want to give the blond prince the pleasure of knowing he had pushed Merlin as far as he had. But Merlin was at the point where he would roll over, and lay on his own belly, showing Arthur all of his soft points…if it kept Merlin from living through another fight like the one he'd had with Arthur only moments before.

Merlin wheezed loudly again, his head pounding so hard in his temples that he wanted to claw his own brain out just to get it to stop. He barely even noticed when Gaius grabbed onto his elbow, and started carting him out of the hall faster then they had been walking before Cara had stopped them, leaving behind the bag of manure. It was unimportant, and it was going to be left abandoned on the floor until somebody came along with the good sense to get rid of it. But, Gaius' only seemed to have one concern that did not include those experiments he had been so eager to get started on before all of this had happened. For all Merlin knew though, Gaius could have been carting him somewhere that would be even worse then where they were now. The empty hallway, so out in the open, so full, so…in the castle…would probably be one of the more easier places for Arthur to find him. For Arthur to do only god knows what…Merlin had thought he escaped from the prince the last time. But…had he really escaped? If the prince was still walking around, free to torture him, and torment him, at his leisure. As if torturing Merlin was nothing more than a Sunday afternoon for Arthur. Merlin deserved it though, deserved it all for not predicting these awful rumors before they had gotten out of control and finding a way that would stop them from flooding throughout the city.

Perhaps things would go easier for them all if Merlin made the decision to sit down on the floor right here, put his head between his knees, and struggle his way through his latest attack until Arthur found him. Surely, Arthur would be even less mad at him then he usually was, if Merlin made finding him a bit easier. If he didn't try to hide away, and force their prince to waste all of the 'precious time' he had been yelling at Merlin about last time, to find him. Maybe he should just go to Arthur himself, get down on his knees and bow down his head until it was touching the floor, before confessing to all the sins that had never been true. Arthur would go easy on him, right? If he didn't try to argue that it wasn't true? He knew the prince wouldn't believe him, so wouldn't he find it easier to get his punishment out of the way. Merlin didn't try to see this situation from a different angle, he didn't see just how utterly messed up it was that he's be considering going to Arthur himself, for a lesser punishment. He only saw this as self-preservation, playing the game, the only way he was going to survive…would be doing what was expected of him to do. But Merlin didn't want to survive, and yet…there was his own body, screaming at him to do whatever it was going to take to keep the breath in his lungs. Perhaps he was just scared of what would lie on the other side, scared to death to finally learn rather or not he had been destined to fall to hell simply for the way he was born. To know he had been doomed for being born different, doomed from the start…to know nothing he could have done, and his determination to prove not all sorcerer's wanted to end the world, would have changed where he would end up. He really was…a monster…

It was a difficult life, where Merlin's brain and his body were continuing to fight in the war against each other. With living with a brain telling him there was no point with continuing to live if the only thing he had in life to look forward too…would be rather or not Arthur would show him mercy whenever he finally caught him. Or living with this eternal jumpiness that hovered in his bones, making him flinch or scramble to get away when Arthur came close, not knowing if the prince was going to put his filthy hands on him again. And then he was living with his body, who told him there had to be something more than this. That told him as long as he kept breathing…it would be all okay. He would survive once again. But what was the point in survival…if the prince was always going to be there. Waiting and hovering right around the corner until an unsuspecting Merlin walked by, before snatching him up as if Arthur thought he was the monster-with nails as jagged as claws and a mouth full of fangs-and thought the consort was the virgin sacrifice he had been given. Free and able to do everything and anything to the world, while Merlin would be forced to keep doing what his body told him to do…to do what he had to do…to survive.

Merlin didn't even feel like himself anymore. Where was the boy that had-only a month ago-taken a quill and stabbed his prince in the back of the hand? Merlin was sure the man had to still have the scar, and he could probably find it, if he was able to stomach looking at the back of Arthur's much larger hand-and being reminded of how much bigger the man was when compared to himself. Where was the boy, who when Arthur tried to take away the flower Gwen had given to him, and Merlin had thought Arthur was storming off to punish the handmaiden, had jumped onto his back and wrestled him to the ground from the surprise. Where was the boy he had been…where he had mustered up the strength to walk up to Arthur's room, knowing he wouldn't believe him, just to warn him about the muck monster. Where had the boy he had been gone….the boy who had been brave enough to try talking out about the assault Valiant had tried to give to him, just so Arthur would know the kind of man the other knight had been. So he would be ready to face him…where had the boy who once spent his afternoons hiding in the words out behind Ealdor, making the leaves fly in the sky to draw out pictures of things he had only heard about in stories. Where had Merlin gone…and was there anything left inside of him to salvage?

Merlin didn't think there was. His insides had been scraped raw, taken out of himself with nothing more than a rusty old spoon. And Merlin had to breathe, and he had to calm down, and he had to…had to figure out what would be the best for him to deal with Arthur. It was a sad day when Merlin looked at a prince-who he had once saw as no different then a man at random on the street-and saw the enemy. But Merlin had to breath, and he had to calm down, and nothing worked for him. Breathing only seemed to send a rush of fresh panic in him with each and every breath. Trying to find any reason to calm down, seemed to be an impossible mission. What was there to calm down for, what reason did he have to not allow his panic to overtake him, why…should he not just fall down to the floor and have a complete meltdown as he reached a point of no return. Screaming so violently, that he would be feeling the rawness of his throat for days. Feeling as if there was something in his mind that came loose, leaving him as a empty shell, only kept alive by being a burden on the people who felt he was their responsibility. The Consort had slowly started to revert back to the person he was before his uncle had forced him out of the safe confides of his home. He had been going through the motions of life until now, but…Merlin had only succeeded in going backwards with Gaius' attempt to help him.

He was falling back into that safe space that he knew lived somewhere in his mind, so cloudy and foggy that not even Merlin found it easy to find his way back out again. It would have been the perfect place for Merlin to retreat, the prince unable to do anymore damage to him if he couldn't find him in the first place. His body could suffer whatever the prince had in store for him, but Merlin's mind would need to find its security and safety inside…where nobody could hurt him. A thing like this, retreating into himself…Merlin might end up a vegetable. Somebody with no brain function, no mind, only kept alive by the people around him. Merlin would really be at the mercy that came from the people who pitted him. As if Merlin was somebody who deserved to be pitted, instead of being somebody that had invited all of this suffering onto himself. It was his pinnace for being born different, and the consort knew that it was Arthur's job to carry out the justice that needed to be wrought from him. No matter how many lives Merlin had saved by stopping the plague, no matter he had helped the prince survive against his venomous enemy. He deserved to be a vegetable, he deserved to be sent off to live in some villa like everybody said, he deserved…Merlin deserved everything.

When living in a world where only the bare minimum would tell him none of it was his fault…and when the vast majority of people told him he deserved to be thrown away like all of the trash he was…there came a time in every person's life where they started to believe them. Because surely, not so many people in one place could be wrong? Surely, it was he who was the one in the wrong. It was only fair-for all of the pain and suffering and frustrations Merlin had casted upon this kingdom with his mere presence-for Merlin to live like a vegetable. The only problem with this, and Merlin was sure he would find out very soon, once Merlin fell into the pits of fog he knew was his mind…he didn't think he would be able to find himself back out of it. And no matter how many times Gaius ended up giving him a sponge bath…and no matter if the water was warm against his chilled flesh like it had been the first time Gaius had done it…Merlin would be lost.

Forever in the fog…

"Come on Merlin, just stay with me. We're almost back in our chambers. You just need to keep breathing…and then we can have everything taken care of. We will figure all of this out, so you just need to stay with me." Gaius said in the soothing tone of a trained physician, trying to ease the pain of Merlin as his wheezing started to sound more like he was whistling. He would have stopped right here, and did one of the many tricks he knew to help calm somebody stuck with the fears of a panic attack. But the one thing he and Merlin could agree on, was that it wasn't safe for them stay out in the open like this. It took every urge within him to not stop so that he could take care of Merlin's medical emergency…but getting away before Arthur could find them would be the main concern. Gaius might not be able to do anything to stop the panic attacks from occurring-medicine just did not extend that far-but he could stop the prince from reflecting anymore damage than whatever it was he had been doing to his nephew. "And once we figure out what to do with trying to salvage your reputation, the first thing you will need to do is stay clear of that girl. The last thing we need is to have to deal with the rumors that would spark. The consort seen as flirting with a serving girl, especially when the rumors going on…it wasn't a good call, Merlin. But it's okay, we can handle all of it."

Merlin felt his breath hitch again, the words hitting him as if he had been struck, the bits and pieces he had been able to catch through the pounding in his head. Wasn't a good call …flirting?…salvage his reputation…? As if his reputation had not already been damaged beyond belief. As if the latest of the rumors wasn't going to turn this entire city on it's head as everybody rose up to try and stomp Merlin into the dirt in the defense of their prince's 'honor'. Not a good call…Merlin had only tried to help her. But that was Merlin's problem was it not? Merlin was always getting himself in these situations to try and help. He was always doing things he shouldn't be doing because he thought…who else was going to help that girl-or anybody else-get back up. It certainly wasn't going to be the three Camelot serving girls who had walked away with mocks of the Mercia girl brimming on their lips, as if the physician hadn't just torn them a new one. And flirting…that was something Merlin couldn't understand. Something that bothered him, and made his chest ache, and made him try to figure out what part of his interaction could've ended up misconstructed as 'flirting'. But there was one thing above all else that made Merlin blink rapidly as the tears filled up his eyes.

Gaius had sounded so tired, so weary, so…haggard, with the newest problem they were facing. And the consort was only able to think…he did that. Merlin was sure his uncle had not sounded like that when he had first shown up on the man's doorstep, with nothing but a letter from a sister he had not seen in nearly two decades…looking for family in a world he knew was entirely different from everything he had known in his entire life. But within the three months since Merlin had arrived, Gaius sounded as if he might have aged up at least a decade or more. And that was all Merlin's fault. Because it was him who was constantly dragging Gaius into every one of his problems. It was Merlin who never listened whenever his uncle told him something, or just did something he knew Gaius wouldn't approve of because he thought he knew how to do it himself. It made sense. Merlin was having one issue after another with Arthur. So why wouldn't Gaius be feeling the same despondent as he was. Merlin couldn't do a single thing right. And now his uncle, his loving uncle who'd been willing to lie to Arthur to have Merlin live with him, was now suffering the consequences of his kindness.

"I didn't mean to…I mean…I wasn't trying too…" Merlin felt it when his breath caught in his throat, still being led from hall to hall by Gaius, he would have tripped over his own feet if it was not for his uncle's tight grip on his arm. But he couldn't get the words out, no matter how hard he tried. Merlin was able to feel the way his throat was closing up, unable to take the realization of how much strain he was putting not only to himself. But onto his uncle as well. And when the ache in his throat loosened up, words spilled from him more powerfully then if it was a tidal wave. "Please, Uncle…I wasn't trying to make it look like…I wasn't even trying too…I wouldn't try to do that with…with anybody! Especially not with…not with her of all people…I…"

Merlin's fingers were starting to shake violently, and the boy visibly startled when Gaius grabbed the stiff fingers into his fist, trying to calm the boy the only way he knew how. But it didn't help Merlin, all Merlin was able to do was go through his memories of Cara with a fine toothed comb. Trying to do his damn hardest to pick out anything that could have been seen as…flirtatious? Merlin didn't even know how to flirt if it would have saved his life. Didn't know why anybody would think Merlin was so stupid, he would have gone and did that only minutes after he heard people were thinking he was off dating some random man. And even if Merlin was as stupid as that…his target to flirt with wouldn't have been Cara, out of all people. She was a very beautiful woman, Merlin would briefly recall, from an objective standpoint. But it would also be the problem…Cara was a woman. Merlin would not ever have any inclinations towards her. Would never want to date her, or something more serious like courting her, and would most definitely not want to do something like….holding onto her hand. Even if Merlin didn't have his marriage to Arthur to hold him back from finding somebody who could tolerate all of his faults…Cara would be the last person Merlin would go for.

"I know that you weren't doing anything with that girl, but it is not what it will look like should Arthur have caught you in that position." Gaius said, his voice still so soothing, rubbing Merlin's stiff fingers in his grasp as they entered down one more hallway. Because apparently picking up pillows would not be misconstructed as somebody flirting, but it had to be true if Gaius was so worried. Gaius clearly must have seen something in Merlin's interactions with Cara, that he could have easily missed. Merlin was like that, missing the obvious reasons in which people would get mad at him. Merlin could only be as positive as Gaius was…that Arthur would blow up a fuse if he had seen anything he didn't like. The prince had once attacked him because he thought Gwen's flower was a gift of romantic attentions. How would Arthur have reacted if he thought Merlin was the one doing the chasing, or doing the wooing, or…there was one thing that Merlin could know for sure. Arthur, a man so prideful of his own reputation that he would damn Merlin to be a feast for the dogs if he could get away with it…would have been furious. "You know Arthur would have had something to say to that girl. And that Cara girl…you may not have been flirting with her, but I have been around for many years. And I know what it looks like when a young girl sees somebody that she wants in that way."

Gaius hadn't exactly been thrilled when he had first seen the girl make her appearance. They had just heard about the rumor, and those three other girls had thought tried to bully his nephew…he had only wanted to get Merlin out of a situation that could potentially damage his psyche far more then it already was. But then he saw Merlin trying to talk to her, and he had stopped…and Gaius wanted the boy to start talking. Even if it wasn't the best moment to stop for a good conversation. But if Merlin was going to start talking again…Gaius would have stopped time itself to make him act as he did when he first arrived. But as the conversation had worn on, the physician had started noticing other things that only a man would notice. The way Cara had curled her tongue all around her words, the way her eyes lingered on his innocent nephew in a way that had disgusted him. The way Cara had acted as if she didn't want to leave…it made Gaius just want to grab a particularly thick blanket or poncho and drape the cloth over Merlin's head to cover and hide his body. There's no chance Gaius would allow some viper to ogle at Merlin's innocence. And try to take advantage of it.

The only reason Gaius had not dragged his nephew away as he glared poisonous daggers at the woman, because of how it would look-with Merlin's reputation having already taken a harsh hit-if the court physician was seen dragging away the consort of Camelot. But Gaius should not have allowed such a thing to stop him, and knew that he would not if a similar situation occurred. Gaius knew better than anybody, having worked himself up into a trusted position of the court, that people would use all manners of deceptions to get a leg up in this world ruled by rank and dominance. Violence was the popular one among knights, their skills taken out among the other during their training sessions and sparring. But words and subtle threats and blackmails to force another member of the court into submission beneath them was even more popular among those that did not carry a sword around the kingdom everywhere they went. But then there were others who did not possess much skills, and tried to use their own bodies to garner the attention that they wanted.

People like that were completely shameless, using sex as if it were a weapon to fool unsuspecting people-like his very own nephew-into doing things they would not have typically done. Luckily, his nephew was too innocent to follow those tricks. His nephew was too interested in his own gender, to have even been swayed by such a thing. But this, Gaius was deciding as he carted Merlin around another corner, would be something else he would need to discuss with Merlin that night. When Gaius talked to Merlin, and finally gave him the lesson on male sex that Arthur had been denying him, then Gaius would also need to explain that not everybody would get together because they actually liked each other. Some people, would see it as only a means to an end. And it didn't matter if Merlin himself was not interested in Cara, he knew there was several tricks a woman could use to get around a thing like that. Toxins that could be slipped into the drink to make Merlin more susceptible to unwanted advances. Even getting Merlin drunk could be the only opportunity a woman like Cara needed. It would only take one incident, for Cara to arrange to have somebody walk in on them to see the scene she had organized to make Merlin look like the aggressor.

There was a reason nobles would take precautions against accusations like that. Carefully choosing only the men they trusted the most-knights of strong blood, strong heritage, and an even stronger reputation-to make sure they returned to their rooms safe and sound. To make sure they were not the victims of some horrible scandal, that would leave them forced to retire to an estate in the country side to escape all the dishonor they brought to their families, and the shame of an entire court believing them guilty. And maybe the old physician was only being overly cautious, and anything that was dangerous with the girl would be the wondering eye she had. But what if he wasn't being cautious enough…the other girl might not have any male body parts that would be able to violently violate Merlin. But that would not make a girl any less dangerous if she had a plan in mind. Even the ones that looked the most innocent, would be willing to go to extreme lengths to get out of the ditch that was their life. And it was Gaius duty to protect Merlin, and make sure he didn't fall as a victim to something worse then what was already going on with this latest rumor. Since his husband wasn't willing to do his duty…Gaius would make sure Merlin was self-sufficient enough to handle matters like these on his own. Or at least be aware of them, instead of blind sided should the worse of things happen. And Merlin ended up in a situation that was not only going to traumatize him further, but ruin what little stability he might have.

"But…she wasn't…she was…she was just being nice to me…wasn't she?" Merlin stuttered, his wheezing seemed to get worse at the thought of Cara not simply being 'nice' to him. But Gaius wasn't a liar, and one of the few men Merlin had actually trusted. And Merlin knew he couldn't trust himself to make sensible decisions, his decisions were what led to him being caught in horrible decisions and told how awful or stupid he had been to even get involved. Merlin felt it when his stomach suddenly twisted into an even harsher knot that nearly took his by surprise, squeezing his organs together until he felt as if he was going to be sick. "Arthur, he…would he have really been mad about me helping her? I mean…the prince…he knows that I don't like girls. Surely he's gonna be more furious about this new rumor, then about me helping a girl off the ground…?"

Merlin felt his breath hitch again when he realized…no, he'd be mad either way. Arthur was a very angry person, and just a simple turn of a leaf could get that anger to flair up on him at the worse moments. But…Merlin had already told Arthur a few things he hadn't known before, explained to him exactly what being gay meant back when Merlin had been talking to him more, and didn't feel as if he was going to be sick to his stomach just by looking at him. Things like…being gay isn't some kind of disease or sickness that people were about to catch. Arthur had seriously thought he was going to 'catch the gay' by hanging around Merlin, and had been going into a phase where he made sure not to get too close. It seemed as if talking was okay, but touching was an absolute no-go. Nowadays, Merlin wished he knew then what he knew now, and he could have used it to his advantage. Gave some kind of sob story to Arthur about how he had once been straight, in every sense of the world, until some older boy living in his village had turned him gay. But it was too late for that, and Arthur had gotten even more liberating with his touches of Merlin now that he knew he wasn't going to 'get sick', ever since.

And then there had been that incident, after Arthur had tried to 'pass him off to Gwen' after seeing her flower on him. For as long as they were able to keep it quiet, Arthur would have allowed the affair to go on. Of course, now that Merlin could think back on it, that was probably so Merlin wouldn't have a leg to stand on if he ever found out how far things had got between the prince and Lady Clarissa. But things didn't go the way Arthur had wanted them too, and Merlin didn't take the bait he was trying to wave at him, as if Gwen was only a worm on a hook meant for Merlin the fish to eat, damming himself to the fisherman's (Arthur's) pleasure. Merlin had to painfully explain to Arthur that he had been born gay, and it wasn't something he could just switch up on. Had to explain how he had absolutely no inclination towards any woman…had Arthur perhaps shot back that really stupid sentence he knew so well: perhaps you just haven't met the right girl that could change you, yet? Merlin didn't think so, but Merlin had heard that line a few times by the older boys in Ealdor when the topic came up once or twice over the years. Either way, Merlin did know that he had explained he couldn't just 'like girls', as if it was some kind of choice. He 'liked boys' and it had been the end of that.

Those were harsh lessons that Merlin felt as if he had been stuck with forcing it into Arthur's pea sized brain. So, surely the prince himself had not forgotten about them. Surely, he knew if that Cara girl popped up again, there was no chance that Merlin could be trying to court her or anything. He had to remember the lessons Merlin had given him all of those many weeks ago. Unless Arthur was going to dismiss them…he did that with Merlin so much. Dismissing what he said to him until the proof was right in front of his face. And Merlin didn't know how he was supposed to prove he was 'gay' to the prince. Being gay was a feeling inside of him, that made him all warm and fuzzy on the inside when he thought of the boy-any boy-in front of him, was cute. Merlin was sure that it was also true for women who liked women, or for the rare people he'd met that liked both…or for somebody who had never liked anybody at all (strange as that one was with the consort). It was a feeling inside, so how did one go about on proving a feeling?

Merlin perhaps, could kiss a boy in front of Arthur, but that would hardly prove anything. It would only prove that he did not mind kissing a boy, it wouldn't prove that he also would not like to kiss Cara-which he most certainly did not. And it would only make things worse for him. Merlin was sure that the prince would probably believe-whichever guy Merlin had decided to do the job with-that the mystery guy would most likely be the same 'mystery guy' the new rumor claimed that he was dating. Merlin would probably get both of them onto the executioner's platform for whatever Arthur choose after embarrassing the prince in front of his people, just like this rumor was going too. Besides, Merlin's eyes flicked down to the floor with shame, did he really want his first real kiss to be with somebody he didn't know or care about, because of Arthur pressuring him into some weird attempt of 'proving' his attraction to men?

"You just need to take a moment to think of this as if you were Arthur yourself." Gaius instructed the consort, giving a short squeeze to comfort his nephew as they passed by the large windows in the hall they were going down, showing off the courtyard and dozen or so Mercia servants setting up a private tent where they would be staying, separated from all the servants of Camelot that stayed in the servant quarters of the kingdom. "Now, saw Arthur is going over the reports that come across his desk, or is preparing for tonight. What do you think will happen the second somebody sees it fit to inform the prince what rumors are going on. What would be the first move Arthur makes? Correct me if I am wrong, but would he not immediately come looking for you to get to the bottom of things?"

Merlin hunched into himself, nearly stumbling over his own feet as Gaius started going faster, dragging him along as if he was a rag doll-for his own safety, rather then trying to do his damn hardest to control him as Arthur would have done. And he sucked in a harsh breath, trying to force his lungs to expand as he took in what Gaius had been saying…and it did not paint a pretty picture for him. Gaius had been speaking as if Arthur would come and find him, and then have the one thing in the world they had yet to do…have a reasonable talk and conversation about what was going on. And about what their next step should be to stop it from becoming a fact to the people. Gaius clearly had far more faith with Arthur then Merlin did, but perhaps that was only because what little the physician knew came from second hand information. Or was rumors like this one that anybody with half a brain would be able to tell were completely false. Merlin didn't want to do it, but he felt himself getting sucked into the picture-the image of what Gaius had spoken for him.

He imagined himself, sitting behind that fancy and ornate style desk Arthur had situated in front of the windows in his room. He could almost imagine the quill-perhaps the one he had stuck into Arthur's hand? A tinge of red from the blood Arthur had left behind still staining the end of it?-only to be stopped when there was a knock on the door. Arthur would let out a sharp 'come in' before admitting some random man or knight-because they would knock, and Merlin had never knocked on that door since he arrived here, and Arthur was always irritable. And then this knight would take pleasure in being the one to throw Merlin under the carriage, being sure to elaborate or exaggerate on certain details to get Merlin in the most trouble. Perhaps telling false details about a date that never happened. Because of course Merlin would have been reduced to 'dating', which was only the cheap version of a proper courtship. Being married, Merlin would not ever get to have a proper courtship, something a man would do to show he had every intention on making Merlin his own. To marry him himself. 'Dating' was only for fun, something that passed the time by until they met someone they liked even better then Merlin. But despite the difference, Arthur would be no less furious.

Gaius was right about Arthur coming to find him. but it was only so Arthur could release his rage on him. To throw him into walls, and to yell in his face, and demand Merlin be the one to do something to fix all of this. Merlin would have no choice but to promise he would, because of the harsh array of bruises Arthur would have created along his spine. Merlin would promise anything, as long as it got Arthur Pendragon away from him. But Arthur wouldn't care if Merlin was dating another man for real, and knowing that 'stung.' Arthur would only care about how it made him look, would only care that Merlin hadn't been discreet enough. Would only care Merlin didn't do something like 'ask him permission' before trying to strike out and find some kind of happiness and comfort in a world that forever denied him something other people got handed to them.

"And then when he finally does see you? Even if Arthur does know you do not desire women, he sees you on the ground in front of a beautiful one. One who clearly looks as if she's enjoying your company far too much." Gaius soothing voice continued to reach Merlin through his imagination, when the two of them walked along the final hallway. They only had to go down this hall, and then up the stairs to get inside of the tower that housed them. "As far as Arthur is concerned, the scene might only spark further proof that you would not be opposed to being with another. And I have all the sympathy in the world, and would not blame you if you did. But this is about Arthur, and making him believe you are innocent. He is the only one that could stop these rumors from starting to grow out of control."

Gaius hated to be the one to say this, but he needed to do what he could to protect Merlin. And that whole scene with the Cara girl only made things harder for them…the situation had only grown more serious. More deadly. Gaius had seen rumors like this completely wreck a man and ruin every little thing they had spent their entire life on. Gaius would not be sitting back, and allowing his nephew to be subjected to this like others have been. And that Cara girl…one would think a serving girl, as a guest in a new kingdom, would've had far better sense then to try something onto the consort of the host kingdom. But…Gaius' lips thinned as he thought about that girl. And her dark hair, and painted lips…the physician knew there was something strangely…familiar…about her. It wasn't something he could put his finger on though, and the thought only made his dread deepen and concern worsen. It was not often Gaius, even at his age, could not recall things. Perhaps this was why Gaius thought Cara might have shown 'too much' of an interest in Merlin, and why he feared there might be something he was missing about this girl. And why he wanted to keep Merlin as far away from her as he could.

Before Merlin could think twice about it, he was yanking his wrist out of Gaius' hold, looking at him horror struck as his heart fell straight to his feet, "Innocent? You want me to get him to believe I'm innocent? But…I am! Of both Cara and the rumors! I haven't don't anything, but you…" Merlin knew that Gaius, logically, hadn't meant it as he said, but it seemed as if his words were ringing in Merlin's hollow head. Reminding Merlin he would have to go to Arthur, reminding him he had to plead his case…have Arthur look at him as if Merlin had already been trialed and judged and ready for execution. He …Merlin knew he couldn't face Arthur again, not so soon, he had already done it once today. Why should Merlin have to act as if he was innocent, how did one go about acting as if they were innocent, when they already were. Would he have to act twice as confused as he already was. And Gaius…the physician had made it sound as if he thought Merlin must've been the instigator. The way Gaius had talked…as if he had been the one to egg on Cara… "…Do you think I really did do something to make all these rumors form?"

Merlin's voice sounded hollow even to his own ears, looking so lost and confused that it would have to be heartbreaking for Gaius to see. But Merlin couldn't help himself…did Gaius think Merlin wasn't just as panicked about all of this. Having rumors running around back in Ealdor had only been a small bit of entertainment at someone else's expense, but nothing that hadn't been forgotten by the next day. But here…Merlin knew how different people took things. Merlin was starting to already think like them…it was why he had decided not to offer to escort Cara to the Mercia King's suite. Because the consort knew people would claim outrageous things-like he was stalking her or something. It was shameful to Merlin……knowing he was allowing others to dictate how he handled things. But even then, Merlin had thought people would say he was trying to hurt her, for some ungodly reason. It hadn't even occurred to him that people might say he was trying to follow her around to get a date…who even thought stalking someone was a good method for that? Merlin had not ever asked anybody out before, but even he knew that would be a horrible call to make.

"Merlin!" And Gaius was appearing right in front of him, the physician could have teleported as fast as he appeared right there. His voice came out sharp, far more sharper than he'd ever spoken to Merlin. The physician grabbed onto Merlin's shoulders aggressively, and Merlin's breath hitched, and for one second…Merlin could have sworn it was Arthur trying to grab him again. Trying to grab him, touch him…Merlin could feel it when his throat closed up tightly and he jolted back in his attempt to get away. But Gaius held strong, shaking him to try and get his message across. "You need to understand that this place is not Ealdor! The people around here can be dangerous. And god forbid, if anybody-even a servant-gets the crazy idea to try and get you to appease Arthur…there's literal death threats appearing over your head as we speak, and you don't even realize it! And that's not even including what Uther will do if he decides to believe these rumors. He has already tried to kill you once! What makes you think he'll not try again, and decide to use this as the excuse to do it? Most people with a scandal like this would have been sent to live in the countryside to escape the shame. But you have different circumstances. It will not be the same for you, and Uther will see to it!"

Merlin let out a choked off sound, unable to get one more word out, because just like that…Arthur's face had shifted back into Gaius'. The concern and panic leaking out of his uncle's voice was undeniable, and Merlin didn't think he had heard Arthur sound like this since, well…since he'd thought Knight Valiant had actually managed to kiss him. And even that was only half as much as what Gaius sounded like…as if it anguished him to think of Merlin in trouble. But it did not ease the guilt Merlin felt, it only made it worsen. Knowing he was putting so much strain on his uncle, knowing that there was only so much he could force his uncle to endure as he dealt with all of the crap Merlin had been bringing onto his doorstep. Because Merlin knew very well what Gaius meant when he said: different circumstances. Merlin wasn't some noble with a huge family backing him up, ready to withdraw their support from the kingdom if Uther tried to have a son of their's executed over something short of being this mass murderer.

The only family Merlin had was his mother, and Merlin was pretty sure she wouldn't even be allowed to come into the city to begin with. And even if she could, it wasn't as if the king would listen to another peasant. And then Merlin also had his uncle, but…this burden of Merlin's wasn't supposed to be carried by him. It wasn't as if Merlin had known him his entire life, which left some kind of expectations formed…the kind where they looked after one another. But while the old man did have a seat on the council, and the listening ear of the king…Merlin truly doubted the king's hatred for him was going to lesson enough for him to listen to reason. He knew that Gaius was only one man, and Merlin was only one boy, and the king…well, it wasn't as if Gaius was going to quit his position as the best physician in the land and move far away so the king would never be able to find him, just because he ended up doing something to Merlin.

With Merlin being quieted, Gaius sighed heavily, before the physician was releasing him. "Come, Merlin." He said, with a heavy tone to his voice. "Let's get you someplace safe." And the physician started to walk away, heading up the final stair case that led into his tower. Merlin didn't move from his stop on the floor, feet nailed down to exactly where he was. The consort looked up those stairs, up into the darkness that he could see covering the entire top, like it was going to be but a dark abyss that was going to swallow him whole if he tried to follow. He…Merlin couldn't go up there…Gaius walked up a few steps though, seemingly unaware of Merlin not going after him. "And perhaps once you're safe, and enough time has passed for this to be put behind you, you can get back to running the place, as you said."

It was a very flat joke, and even Gaius seemed to recognize that it was, as he pressed his lips into a thin line. But still, he barely even noticed what Gaius had said to begin with. This. Gaius' chambers. Merlin couldn't go up there because that place was not going to be safe. It would probably never be the safe heaven Merlin had always saw it as. Whenever the prince finally came looking for him, where would be the first place he was going to look? Arthur would come straight to where he thought Merlin was living. Where he was sleeping. Where he was-somewhat, or never at all-eating. Where the consort dressed, and where he read, and where he crawled into bed and pretended the world going along outside of his window never existed at all. Merlin didn't care if there'd had been someone strong enough to pick him up and drag him to his room…he would just climb out the window and try to not break his arm by jumping from it. He had to get away, he had to make a break for it, Arthur was coming…he would be here. In five minutes? In an hour? Tomorrow?…Never? None of it mattered, because Merlin needed to get out, and away from this castle. He needed to go someplace that may offer him someplace to hide if Arthur even got the notion to look for him there.

Gaius finally seemed to notice that Merlin was not following him up the stairs, and turned back to look at him with a raise eyebrow, one hand perched on the railing so that he didn't end up falling back down the stairs, "Merlin?" The man said slowly, and Merlin's eyes whipped away from the darkness above-wondering if he would ever return alive if he went up there, or if the darkness would keep him a prisoner inside of his own mind until his body finally gave out-to connect with his uncle's. Gaius' eyebrows furrowed together the second he saw the panicky expression on his nephew's face, and he took a cautious step back down the stairs, speaking slowly, as if he was talking to a startled jungle cat that would go on the defensive and start attacking if he tried speaking up any louder towards him. "Aren't you coming with me? Up toward my chambers? So we can talk about what to do next…"

Merlin still didn't budge, other then to take a step backward to escape from his uncle coming closer. Merlin had became a flight risk, ready to run as far as he could as fast as he was able too, if he thought it would do everybody a favor. Merlin had just remembered the second reason he had for refusing to go with his uncle…Merlin didn't want to be a burden. And if he went upstairs, Merlin knew that he would do. His uncle would have no choice but to spend the next several hours of his life working over, and going through, a solid plan. A plan that would get Arthur off his back, get the rumors to be put to rest, and hopefully everything else cleaned up before he was expected to go to the party tonight. Oh god…Merlin did not even want to think of the party tonight. Or how very little time he had before he needed to be dressed and ready…and be the prop that was expected from him. Wearing things he did not even have…Merlin took an even larger step back as his uncle came down another step. Merlin's eyes started to fly back and forth in a panic, trying to determine which hall would be his safest best. But each hall looks exactly like the other one did, and neither distinguishable by anything other then the fact that they were both emptied.

"I need to…" Merlin's breath came out a bit harder then it had been before, and he saw Gaius' eyes fly open with the startled realization that Merlin was about to make a run for it. But before Gaius had the chance to do anything to stop him, or say anything that would give him pause, Merlin let out a broken, "I'm sorry, I need to go!" Before he was taking off down one of the halls at random, going as fast as he was able to run, ignoring the echoing sound of Gaius screaming out his name after him.

The tears blurred his vision, making everything in front of him nothing but a mess of shapes. His lungs burned with a need for air, but Merlin didn't care, he only kept running. His shoes, the pounding of his feet against the cobblestone was echoing in his ears, blending with the sound of his uncle still screaming for him, but falling behind. Merlin only knew that he needed to go, he needed to get out. And somewhere, in the back of his mind…Merlin swore that he was never going to be a burden to his uncle again. He would fix things on his own, he would do what he had to do. He would…go straight to the one place Arthur would not be able to find him.

The marketplace.

It was stupid, Merlin thinking he could once again run away from all of his problems. It was stupid to think he could ever get away if he just kept running fast enough. But run he did, with the weight of his mother's letter burning a hole right in the middle of his pocket. It was a simple parchment, but the consort could have sworn it weighed more than a million of golden coins. And Merlin latched onto it as if it would be the life vest he needed in the middle of the ocean. Arthur would just have to wait for as long as it took the prince to track him down. Merlin was going to do something for himself this one time. Was going to do something that might make him feel good…might make him feel as if he was home again. He was going to contact his mother, if it was the last thing he did.

If only Merlin knew how much worse things were going to be in the marketplace when compared to Gaius chambers. If he knew what was going to happen…Merlin would have taken a seat on the bottom of the stairs, and waited for when Arthur came to him. If he knew what was going to happen…then he would have never stepped foot in that marketplace…