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Chapter 182

Darkness 2

Edward

She continued to hold Nanuk in her arms, unwilling to let him go and, of course, crying incessantly.

I wish I had the ability to express my feelings with it. Emotion or joy, but also sadness. Like now.

Leah also continued to talk to him, though I couldn't tell if Leah was aware of it, but Nanuk could no longer hear her. He was no longer among the living.

And I was scared by what Leah was muttering to herself.

"... The life is meaningless ..."

"Leah!" I spoke softly as I reached my daughter and held her face tenderly in my hands. The way she looked at me, I would probably never be able to forget again, although I knew she didn't mean me.

From her eyes flashed pure anger when our eyes met.

Faster than I could comprehend, Leah had jumped to her feet and was lashing out at me.

So she could actually strike me, and my daughter was neither weak nor squeamish. My diamond-hard skin burst under her blows and broke almost all the bones in her hands. She bled from the hard surface that tore her skin.

It had come as such a surprise that I was lying on the ground with my face contorted in pain.

But she didn't get to more than two strokes, as Jasper was already standing behind her, holding her wrists.

Leah staggered awkwardly. She raised her hands - which Jasper allowed under his grip – and looked at the blood running down them. Leah tilted her head as if she didn't believe what she was seeing.

Jasper let go of her, holding her by the waist just a little so she wouldn't sway further.

As if in a trance, Leah looked around.

I could see through her thoughts that she drifted away from reality. In addition, her heart was beating at full speed - as if it wanted to explode.

A shrill cry that pierced me to marrow and bone resounded through the night.

Then everything happened very quickly.

Leah collapsed - without a heartbeat or lung function.

Jasper caught her, gently placed her on the ground, and I was at her side not a blink later.

Cardiac pressure massage. A vicious déjà vu, except that I was the one to blame last time.

"Leah!", I shouted at her. No, I would not lose my daughter today!, I swore to myself. "If you dare not continue to live, you may experience something!", I threatened her, completely nonsensically. Leah was unconscious. More accurately, she was dead. I was panicked and desperate. And this condition was not getting better. Rather the opposite!

"Jake!" exclaimed Carlisle in dismay as my son slumped beside him with a face disfigured by torment.

Twins!, I thought rumblingly. They always had to come up with the same ideas.

Also without vitals - Carlisle was already working on resuscitation attempts on Jake.

Jasper forced us both to inwardly calm down so we wouldn't unhealthily overdo it with the resuscitation measures.

An excruciating forty-two seconds passed, during which I was already imagining in a horrible way how I was going to explain this to Bella without her leaving me, too. Both twins dead. Bella would get a shock from which she might not recover.

Until Jake breathed again and slowly came to. He remained lying down, smiling weakly at Carlisle as he endeavored to breathe evenly on his own.

But Leah was more persistent.

I interrupted the pressure on the sternum to blow air into her lungs. I was looking for the point for the massage again, when I thought I felt something under my fingers.

Very faintly.

The blood was pulsating. She was also breathing again, but so shallowly that I had to lean my ear over her mouth to tell for sure.

"Little one?", I put my hands to her cheeks.

Her eyes opened lazily, but she stared into space.

I searched her thoughts, but found only a black wall of impenetrable fog.

We waited a few more minutes until my children's vital signs had reached a more unobjectionable continuity. I held Leah sitting upright in my arms and gently stroked her back. Jake leaned against Carlisle.

All three of us vampires enjoyed the incredible sound of the beating hearts.

It had never seemed so beautiful to us. If I had been alone, I might have lost at least one of my children, but you couldn't think about something like that. They were alive. Both of them. For that I just thanked the Lord in heaven sincerely and eloquently, even if one of them at the moment apparently wished the opposite.

My gaze slid over Nanuk's corpse.

I had to take him home. There, the eldest son, the big brother, the grandson, the fiancé, the soon-to-be son-in-law was expected. It would be a great shock to the Latham family. Kate had no idea what had happened to Nanuk today. That he had promised himself to Leah and wanted to break up with Kate. No, he didn't really want to, because he had still loved her despite that afternoon. But he had to, because his feelings for Leah were hard to put into words.

I switched places with Jasper.

It was my job to bring Nanuk home. Of the Latham family, only Akai knew Jasper or Carlisle.

I took Nanuk's bag in which he had his clothes. In my first impulse I wanted to dress him, but Leah followed every single gesture I made with a look that brought out the doctor in me.

Her pupil reaction was much too hectic.

Then I just put the bag around me and picked up the lifeless body from the ground.

Leah continued watching me.

Her heart pulsed rapidly, her eyes widened in panic, and she fell into unconsciousness. However, her vital functions quickly calmed down and remained constant.

So I ran with Nanuk through the forest until I reached the garden behind the house.

Eight people I could see through the large living room window and all of them were already worried. Nanuk was not usually unreliable, and he had known when dinner was to be served.

Akai saw me through some trees. He was looking out for his big brother.

So I stopped. My eyes were red, which is why I should not go so close to the house that Kate's parents recognized this.

Akai stared in my direction - incredulous, frightened, afraid.

"No!" he muttered to himself, unable to believe what he was seeing. There had to be a logical explanation. His brother couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

He grabbed a blanket and came out storming to me.

Thus now also the others had noticed that something had happened. They looked where Akai was on the way.

"Oh my God!" made Amarok, the brothers' grandfather, and walked briskly after his grandson.

"Nanuk!"

"No!"

"Please don't!"

Exclamations of horror and bewilderment.

Kate dropped onto a stool and tensely clutched her engagement ring. She had seen so many incredible things here since Christmas, she couldn't believe her eyes.

Her parents were undecided. They saw the lifeless-looking body of their planned son-in-law, but did not understand what this meant.

They did not know why Nanuk came out of the forest at all - or rather - was carried. Unclothed.

The rest of the adults, however, knew the general danger to which the wolves were exposed by their very existence.

Nanuk's mother immediately began to cry and was hugged tightly by her husband.

Shanti put her hands over her mouth in shock as the first tears ran down her cheeks.

"Nanuk!", Akai addressed his brother as if this one was just teasing him and threw the blanket roughly over him.

It was an attempt to save this situation in a pleasant way. But it was hopeless.

"I'm very sorry. We were too late," I murmured, concerned. I truly was. Nanuk had been a pleasant and interesting young man. Friendly, trusting, helpful. So I too was grieving.

Gently, I handed Nanuk to his younger brother and adjusted the blanket over him a bit, while Amarok asked distraughtly what had happened.

He did not trust the color of my eyes.

"Nanuk spent the day with Leah at our place. He left alone earlier because he wanted to be here in time for dinner and talk to all of you beforehand," I began to say.

Amarok looked involuntarily at Kate, wondering if the bond was stronger than his grandson's will after all.

I nodded in agreement and Amarok nodded back, gesturing that he understood me.

"Since my kids run a round every night, we were going to do this before our dinner. But Leah had a little fainting spell and felt she needed to get to Nanuk right away. So we left in a hurry for here ... On the way we met two of my kind. They had encountered Nanuk alone before and ... Nanuk was bitten in the back of the neck. I tried to suck the poison out of him, which is why I have red eyes at the moment, but we were too late, unfortunately ... There was nothing we could do."

Akai's eyes widened.

It was a logical explanation, but not at all the one he had wanted to hear. He almost dropped Nanuk when the realization hit him. A realization that brought tears to his eyes.

"How is ... Leah doing?" asked Akai after understanding my words.

I doubted that he had understood the content of the fact that his brother was actually no longer alive.

"Not good. She almost followed Nanuk ... so did Jake," I said in a shaky voice.

"Jake?" asked Amarok.

"They are siblings, wolves, twins and Alpha wolves. When one of them suffers, the other suffers with him," I explained, hiding my eyes with one hand. They burned agonizingly when I thought of almost losing them.

"Thank you for bringing my grandson home," Amarok said in a broken voice, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I handed him Nanuk's bag.

"If there is anything we can do, let us know," I extended my hand to the tall Native American.

He nodded.

I turned to Nanuk once again. I silently said goodbye to him, running my fingers through his hair as he usually did, and gave him a light kiss on the forehead.

We will miss you, I thought. First and foremost, of course, Leah, although I did not yet know how I should help Leah get over this loss.

I looked after Akai, Amarok, and Nanuk as they went into the house.

Shock and sadness were on everyone's face. Akai gently laid his brother on a sofa and Kate immediately sat with him. Wept bitterly, held his hand, and spoke to him.

No one would tell her that Nanuk had irrevocably given his heart to Leah in the meantime. At least they wanted to spare her this grief.

But quickly I again ran into the forest.

I was still afraid for my children, and this was obviously not unfounded.

Jasper and Carlisle had put some clothes on them by now, at least their sweatpants and sweaters, but they were both unresponsive.

Jasper worked with his gift, but it all bounced off the twins.

Carlisle wanted to go to the Latham family.

Nanuk's demise had to be officially determined by a physician. I had not thought of that at all. In addition, sedatives or circulatory strengthening would possibly be needed after this unexpected death.

So I took Jake and Jasper carried Leah through the woods.

For Jake, I would have a remedy ready.

Bella stood already at the door and waited for us.

We had been gone for over an hour.

So much time had not been planned for our little outing, which is why she had started to worry.

She opened the door for us and looked in dismay at our children, who were more unconscious than responsive, and also in shock at my red eyes.

I could see that my angel was already putting it all together in her head.

Ced was sitting on the carpet with his Kraken, flipping through a picture book. When I entered, he raised his gaze to me, his eyes widened fearfully, and he crawled behind the sofa.

"Becky!", I called out as I laid Jake down on our sofa.

She just came down the stairs, but stopped in shock in the doorway.

"Oh God, Jake!" she exclaimed.

"Let him feel that you are there!", I instructed her and immediately made room for her.

Becky knelt beside him, addressed him, kissed his lips, and stroked over him incessantly.

"And what do we do with Leah?" asked Jasper helplessly, who had placed Leah on the other side of the sofa.

"I don't know," I admitted resignedly and sat down with my princess. "Leah, my darling?", I addressed her and gently stroked over her cheek.

She did not react.

Her heart was beating, her lungs were working. The body temperature was slightly elevated, which could well be due to her injuries, which had already healed in the meantime. Her eyes were open every now and then, but they did not seem to perceive the world. Her thoughts were unchanged dark.

"Edward! What happened?" Bella asked me now.

She appeared calm on the outside, but inside she was quivering.

I rose and pulled her into my arms.

"Nanuk is dead," I muttered.

I noticed how Bella's knees gave way a tiny bit, her shoulders twitched, her free hand clawed into my side and her head fell against my shoulder.

When I imagined Bella was no longer with me, it tore my heart apart, causing me to pull Bella even closer.

A little sound brought me back mentally to our living room.

My baby was afraid and hid behind the sofa. He was afraid of me, of my eyes.

I blew a kiss on Bella's forehead and sat cross-legged on the floor. At a supposedly safe distance from Ced.

I didn't want to push him to come to me and possibly scare him even more. Therefore, I just looked at him.

Ced, however, only looked at me in fright and continued to crawl around the sofa. Only cautiously he peeked around the back corner.

Bella squatted down to me, put an arm around my shoulders.

"You don't have to be afraid. This is Daddy," she said gently.

Ced, however, backed away.

Jasper couldn't help a slight mental smirk at that.

About the fact that the little half-vampire was intimidated by red eyes, which were actually typical for our kind.

But he sent courage to my baby, so that he peeked around the corner again very carefully.

I stretched out my arms a little as if welcoming him to me.

"Ced, my little angel. I'm not gonna hurt you," I promised.

Quite hesitantly he crawled out from behind the sofa. Looked cute skeptical and paused several times until he sat so close in front of me that he almost reached my hands. Anxious to be able to flee again very quickly. He leaned forward a little suspiciously to touch me.

He asked why I had such red eyes. His real daddy wouldn't have had them otherwise.

Real daddy!

That I had to have a discussion with Ced like I had with Jake so recently, I had not been prepared for that.

"I'm your daddy!", I assured him, but merely explained about my thoughts that those eyes happened to us from time to time and that he shouldn't be afraid of them.

I didn't want to tell him so clearly or show him how I had actually gotten the red color. But I did show him that almost everyone in our family looked like that at one time or another. Emmett, who had experienced a few missteps in his vampiric existence. Rosalie and Esmé, how they had looked after their transformation. Carlisle, who had bitten them both for that purpose. I also showed him a vision Alice had once had so long ago. Bella with red eyes.

Immediately, Ced's gaze went to his mommy and his hand shrank away from me. But only for a brief moment.

He just didn't expect such a picture, since his mommy was generally different from the others.

Then he climbed into my lap, slapped his little hands on my face and took a good look at those red eyes. This reminded me of my first encounter with Emma, which made me smile.

"Daddy!", Ced stated loudly in response, giving me a peck on the cheek and snuggling up to me.

And I hugged my baby to me.

But my concern for the twins had not receded a millimeter so far.

I rose from the floor and looked anxiously at my children.

Ced asked through his gift what was going on with his siblings. He didn't like seeing them so apathetic.

"They are grieving. For Nanuk. He won't come back," I tried to explain.

Ced didn't believe that.

Nanuk had promised to come back and make such delicious cakes again.

How do you explain to a child what death meant?

"I'm afraid he can't do that anymore, Ced. He's not alive anymore. He's in heaven now, watching over all of us," I said.

Ced asked, confused, why Nanuk had done that. It would certainly be much more fun here.

"He couldn't choose that, unfortunately, or he would have stayed with us! He'll never again come back here. That's why Jake and Leah are so sad."

Slowly, Ced seemed to understand what that really meant. A little tear rolled down his cheek as he questioned the 'never again' again and I nodded in agreement.

I handed him to Bella, who had regained her composure from the initial fright, and went to my children.

Jake looked better. Becky's presence was having an effect. He seemed to slowly come more and more to his senses the longer he was reassured that his star was there.

I helped him sit up straight.

He registered my cool hands reassuringly and was able to attribute them to me as well, even though he didn't look at me as he did so. His gaze rested constantly on Becky, but his thoughts became clearer and clearer.

His star was there, all was well.

I moved on to Leah, at whose side Jasper immediately made room for me.

Her condition had not changed. She was absent-minded and I did not know what I could do.

Carlisle came around again.

He had administered a mild sedative to Kate and Nanuk's mother, but otherwise they were very collected – for the unexpected death. Akai worried him a little. He cried for his brother, but otherwise he was on an even keel. That did not fit the otherwise rather lively cheerful boy, who adored his big brother.

Carlisle examined the twins.

Physically, they were both unharmed. All the injuries left by the trip into the forest had healed. Bella, Becky, and I merely washed away the streaks of blood. Vitals were steady, though not at their usual wolfish strength. Jake even ate some of the now-cold dinner, whereby he didn't let go of his star for a split second.

But Leah remained absent and in her dark thoughts. She just lay there, barely stirring. Sometimes with her eyes closed, as if she were sleeping. Then again she seemed to stare vaguely into nothingness.

Bella and I sat steadily by her side, talking to her, holding her hand, but nothing changed.

So I put my little girl to bed sometime after Jasper and Carlisle left without accomplishing anything.

Jake couldn't make it up the stairs without help, but I let him fall into bed without brushing his teeth or changing. He shivered nervously as long as Becky was still attending to human needs, but as soon as she was lying with him, he fell asleep.

Bella still gave Ced his bottle of blood, diapered him, put his cute pajamas on him, herself my pajama top, while I sat on the edge of the bed by Leah. But they both came by Leah's room again afterwards.

I was not yet sure how and where I would spend the current night. I didn't really want to leave my little one alone, but what could I do?

Ced crawled ahead, climbed onto my lap, and slid onto the bed on my other side. He looked gloomily at his sister, who still registered nothing of the outside world. He looked indecisively and then extended his hand to mine.

'Does this help,' he asked, showing me exactly what he meant. When Marcus had been with us, Ced had shown him, via his gift, what he hadn't seen here for several days. A boisterous and happy couple. Marcus had let those memories find peace, so he could relax a little. Maybe it would help Leah break out of her lethargy.

"Try it," I said therefore, and Ced put his hand on Leah's neck.

He remembered. Of Nanuk. As he had done with Marcus when he had fallen asleep downstairs on our sofa.

Leah's heart immediately beat faster, but not in a worrying hurry.

"Nanuk," she whimpered, turning on her side, hugging her bedspread and crying.

It was a change and any change in her mood I considered positive at the moment. I also had the impression that the present tears were good for her. She needed to grieve to be able to process the death. She was even seemingly careful not to interrupt her touch with Ced, lest the memories end.

Bella had been with Jake briefly, but he was sleeping peacefully. Now she sat down on my legs, looked worriedly at our daughter, and stroked motherly over her hair.

"Will she even be able to cope with Nanuk's death?" she asked me in a whisper.

"I don't know," I replied, but I prayed that she could.

Some time passed before Leah fell asleep.

Bella and Ced had also fallen asleep, and I took them both to our bedroom.

Then for a moment I stood upstairs in the hallway. I listened intently for all five heartbeats, but ran my hands through my hair in frustration as I leaned against a wall.

I felt helpless. I loved all these people unconditionally and would do anything for them. But when you didn't know what you could do, that was a scary condition that I had never known before. My single past seemed very pleasant, especially looking back. No worries, no obligations, no responsibilities. Yet this was exactly where I was, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I usually felt very comfortable in the role of the family man Bella had made me into. Whether it was nice and happy moments, having to reprimand someone, household chores, a little stern word to Ced, Bella's clumsiness that gave me a heart attack every time. No matter. They were all my family, and I would take care of my family.

So I took a deep breath, quickly went to the kitchen, and then entered Jake's room.

He had become restless and had woken up in the meantime.

He lay there with his eyes open, thinking about how bad his sister must be, while he looked into the sleeping face of his Becky. He would perish if she were no longer there.

I was very quiet, but of course my son noticed me. I opened a little bottle of water and handed it to him.

'Thanks, Dad!' he thought, and asked for Leah.

"At the moment she is sleeping, and you should do that again very quickly," I indicated.

He nodded, handed me back the bottle and pulled Becky closer to him. He felt her from head to toe, which calmed him immensely.

By the time I closed the door behind me, he was almost asleep again.

The events in the forest had by no means passed him by without leaving a trace. Although he was physically absolutely healthy, which he knew very well himself, he felt emotionally exhausted.

I smiled slightly.

Like father, like son.

I entered Leah's room.

Although she was asleep, she was restless. As if she was living through nightmares.

That's probably exactly how it was.

I sat down with her and stroked steadily over my daughter's back.

It hurt me to see her like that.

In the very early hours of the morning, her condition changed, and she made me afraid with it.

She got veritable seizures.

She rolled back and forth, she sobbed unrestrainedly, partially screamed for Nanuk and her temperature slowly but steadily kept rising. In the process, she flapped her hands around indeterminately, hitting the edge of the bed, her nightstand, the headboard of the bed, or me, or herself. Meanwhile, she increasingly tended to scratch, which could hurt herself.

I lay down with her, holding her tightly against me, which, however, calmed her only a little.

Until she fell asleep from exhaustion.

Between these attacks she was completely calm, but apparently only to gather strength for a new outburst.

Her condition tugged very hard at my own mood.

Slowly it was time to wake up my family under normal circumstances.

It was Tuesday, January 21, 2025, and midterms began today.

But Leah didn't even seem to know what a school was at the moment. I had red eyes and could therefore only go to school with contact lenses. However, I had no intention of leaving Leah's side. How Jake would fare, I did not know yet.

It was just before six-thirty when - in a quiet moment from Leah - I filled three cups of coffee and a baby bottle in the kitchen.

I went to Jake. He was asleep.

I wasn't sure yet what I was going to do with Jake today, but Becky had to get up no matter what. Her parents wouldn't tolerate it if we didn't send her to school for the exams.

Becky was quick to perk up and gave me an elated kiss on the cheek.

She hadn't forgotten that Nanuk was no longer with us, but she also knew that there was nothing she could do about it and that midterms were coming up starting today. Nor had she forgotten what Jake looked like last night. She wanted to cheer him up with her good mood, which was not entirely genuine.

"How are you feeling?", I asked Jake, who had barely stirred so far.

He was not sure of that yet. His thoughts were sluggish and slow, unlike usual. He would not be able to pass the exams like this.

When Becky finished her cup and started for the bathroom, Jake wanted to follow her.

Like every morning when his star was here. They shared the bathroom - especially the shower - in a spirit of camaraderie. For purely economic reasons, of course.

"You're staying in bed for now!", however, I said.

"But the exams?!", Jake wanted to explain to me.

He wanted to go to school. He just wanted to get these exams over with. To take his mind off Leah. Not think about Nanuk's fate. And above all, stay with his star.

"Your well-being is much more important to me than you taking any exams that you would not pass anyway in case of doubt. It won't do you any good if you just force yourself to go to school," I said.

Jake snorted disdainfully.

Just as his mother was always happy to do when something didn't suit her.

"Don't argue with me, Jake! You stay here and rest," I determined emphatically.

Jake conceded defeat and let himself fall with his back back on the bed again.

If he had his way, he would get up, as he was still thinking snottily when I left his room.

This behavior let me smile subtly.

Jake respected my paternal authority against his own convictions on the subject. He thought it was excessive that he should stay in bed. He wasn't hurt or sick, after all. And Becky would not be with him.

I entered our bedroom.

Ced was already babbling happily to himself in his crib.

Bella, on the other hand, was still asleep, but I shook my head in amusement at the sight of her. She was lying across the bed, somehow tangled in the covers. One of the pillows was on the floor, the other was stuck between her naked beautiful legs.

"Daddy!", I was greeted in a good mood by my son.

Well, maybe his enthusiasm was more for the bottle of blood I brought.

He already reached out a hand for it.

"Good morning, my little angel," I wished my baby first, though, and pressed a kiss to his temple as I lifted him out of his crib.

He snuggled up to me as if to somehow apologize for his thirst, which made him forget that someone also brought him his bottle.

So for all I cared, my baby could stay just the way she was! On the other hand, I was curious to see how Ced would develop.

I let Ced crawl across the bed. He awkwardly wiped the strands of hair from his mommy's face, causing her to wake up and contort her face.

"Good morning, my heart," I whispered velvety, already leaning over her and pleasing her with a soulful kiss.

She sighed comfortably. Only then did she look at me. Her eyes sparkled eagerly when she saw my red eyes.

The last time I had such eyes, we had barely gotten out of bed. But today things were different, and we both felt no particular desire for it.

I heard my daughter slowly getting restless, Bella blinked a few times and was apparently also mentally back with Leah.

"How is Leah?", she asked namely immediately, without paying further attention to my eye color.

"I'd say worse rather than better," I said, helping her sit up straight.

"What does that mean exactly?" asked Bella unhappily as she grabbed her cup from the nightstand and handed me the baby bottle.

Ced lay on a thick pillow as he adored me.

However, he adored anyone who gave him his bottle. Nevertheless, he was a bright spot this morning.

"She proceeded at some point to not just stare lethargically or cry in between short stretches of sleep, but to lash out and scream. I'm surprised that didn't wake you guys up."

"I slept like a log, even though I dreamed about Nanuk," Bella muttered.

I leaned against her legs, whereby she cradled my nape. I just enjoyed the moment before Leah would wake up again.

"Jake is staying home today, by the way," I noted after far too few minutes of soothing silence.

Bella said nothing in response, which is why I raised my head to her.

She appeared thoughtful.

I was already afraid that she would be angry because of my arbitrary decision.

She nodded understandingly, but ...

"What about the exams?" she simply asked.

"Jake wouldn't be able to follow normal school lessons, let alone take an exam. I'll call Cathlyn later and tell her about an unexpected death that took a toll on the kids - but also on you."

"Why me too?"

"Because I also need a reason not to go to school."

"And why?" she asked.

I just looked at her - with raised eyebrows.

"Oh yeah," she then noticed my uncharacteristic eye color on her own and smirked as she sipped her coffee.

But then I heard something from the room across the hall.

"Leah's waking up," I said quickly, handing Bella the baby bottle and hurrying to my daughter.

Already in the door to her room my inner peace was gone again.

Leah was cramped from head to toe, she was gasping out and squirming back and forth as if she was constricted and trying to free herself from it.

"Leah, Little one!", I addressed her, but she did not respond. As she had done all night.

She flailed around and I tried to hold her only so far that she could not hurt herself. A laborious undertaking, since she also struck against my hands. She called steadily for Nanuk and this time it was more like a desperate screech than a call. Her temperature had risen again.

So I lay down with her again, holding her tightly against me. Leah rebelled for several minutes before she collapsed, exhausted. I gently laid her down and covered her up. I stroked her cheek and breathed a kiss on her temple.

My poor Little one!

I turned away from her ponderously.

Becky had to have something to eat before she left the house, but Bella stood in the doorway filled with horror.

"Has it been like this all night?" she asked in dismay.

I nodded as I put my hands on her waist and let my head fall on her shoulder.

"Around three o'clock she started with these attacks. They get a bit more violent each time ... I don't know what I can do," I said helplessly.

For a moment we were silent.

"It can't be that wrong for you to just hold her. Look at her. Leah looks calm and peaceful. No trace of her being so out of it just a minute ago," my angel built me back up, so I was looking at her.

Into the warm chocolate colored almond eyes.

"I love you, Edward. I am very glad and grateful that you are with me again, but not only because of me. Nor because of our little angel you gave me. The twins have found a father in you. A Dad they love as much as you love them. Looking back, though, I would have been pretty much screwed if you hadn't been there. Just think about the night Jake had his panic attack or when Leah just ran away. I also couldn't give Leah the support you give her now. One clumsy hit in the heat of the moment and she knocks me out. But you are there for her, more than I could be at the moment because of my humanity. Thank you, Edward, on behalf of our children together!"

With eyes burning with emotion, I pulled Bella tightly into my arms.

"Thank you, my heart," I said simply, feeling hope, confidence, and love fill my innermost being. I gave myself to this moment. Just my angel in my arms. A moment of peace. Like earlier when I held out the bottle to Ced and leaned against Bella's legs. But this time it was more intense, and the inner peace would certainly last longer. Maybe even forever. I felt it.

Until something pulled on my leg.

A baby.

Smiling, I picked him up.

"Where did you come from all of a sudden?", I asked in played amazement.

He gestured to the bedroom, and I rolled my eyes in amusement.

Four weeks was apparently still a bit young for understanding rhetorical questions.

"What do you think about spending some time with your baby?"

"I have to make breakfast for Becky. She shouldn't go to her exams with an empty stomach," I said, however.

"I've said it before, Edward. You are not our maid. I'm perfectly capable of making breakfast," Bella said, pressing a loving kiss to my lips.

I looked after her dreamily as she strode across the hall in just my pajama top.

Graceful and elegant, as befitted a goddess. Although Bella's gait today was many times less lively than usual in view of the unpleasant circumstances, she could still remind me – or rather certain parts of my body – that I was a man.

"So ... are the men going to take showers now?", I asked the little man on my arm.

He nodded enthusiastically.

He liked showering. He found it amusing when the water splashed down on him. He preferred it many times over the bathtub. I did not understand this logic behind it. Wasn't the bathtub much more like the swimming pool, from which you could hardly get him out once he was in it?

With a careful look, I glanced again at Leah as I quietly pulled the room door closed behind me.

If Leah continued to stick to her rhythm, she would sleep peacefully for about twenty to thirty minutes.

I quickly got under the shower and my son gave me a pretty nasty look as he sat at my feet – carrying various utensils.

A green squeaky duck, a little boat, and a watering can.

However, he just did not get any water off, as the jet roared specifically into my nape.

I stepped aside, but slowed down the water jet a bit with my hand.

That pleased Ced already much better.

I washed myself while my son babbled to himself and busied himself with his toys.

I generally did not get tired of listening and watching him. But also the baby had once again needed a full body wash.

So we sat on the floor of the shower and washed each other and alternately with a soft sponge over our backs. Afterwards we lay still unclothed on our big bed. We cuddled and tickled each other out.

Well. Vampires were not ticklish by nature, but for my children or my wife, it could well slip my mind.

While Bella was with us in the meantime getting washed and dressed, Ced and I played hide and seek under the covers.

Must not have been a very good hiding place.

Bella found us, gave us each a kiss, and left us alone again.

Life could be so beautiful and carefree.

But despite the assumed thoughtlessness, I paid attention to my twins.

When Leah's breathing first started to bump, I got us dressed and we went downstairs decently clothed.

Becky winced once briefly over her cereal when she saw my eyes, but immediately made fun of her own reaction in her mind.

After all, she would have already seen me like this today and should not be frightened by it anymore.

Bella nibbled on some toast and looked lovingly toward me.

I was very grateful to her for this short time out that I had been able to spend with my baby.

A time out for thoughtlessness. A time out to finally draw new strength and confidence.

Therefore, I gave Bella a very soulful and grateful kiss after placing Ced on her lap. I was just detaching myself from her sweet lips with complete satisfaction when I heard a rumble from upstairs. Immediately followed by cursing. Hastily I ran upstairs.

"And you wanted to go to school?!", I teased my son a little bit.

He was lying on the floor, breathing frantically. Trying to take off his sweater, which had been bothering him since yesterday, and get out of bed at the same time, he had tumbled out of bed.

His vital signs were slightly elevated, as would be absolutely normal for a human after such a little scare. However, Jake was not human. The wolfish cardiovascular system usually did not comment on such clumsiness at all.

Jake smiled in defeat.

He now knew that he had been wrong in his self-assessment.

I helped him up. He was wobbly on his feet when Becky arrived with us. She had heard the rumbling.

"Just stumbled across Mom's inheritance share," Jake immediately explained to her in an appeasing manner.

It was a little more than that, but he didn't want to worry Becky.

Jake strove for composure, which is why he released himself from my supportive hold and casually leaned against his desk, pulling his star into his arms.

Leah was getting more and more restless, but she would gather strength for a few more minutes if she continued to stick to her pattern of that night.

To that extent, I left Jake and Becky alone and went back downstairs.

Bella was still sitting at the dining room table with Ced, feeding our baby.

Scrambled eggs on toast were very popular with him, as was yogurt with fruit. His breakfast behavior increasingly took on the preferences of the rest of our children, if you left out the bottle of blood.

Bella, of course, was already looking at me anxiously. Even she had heard the noises from the upper floor.

"Jake tumbled out of bed when he was trying to do two things at once again," I said emphatically cheerfully with a view of Ced.

Bella nodded - also looking down at Ced.

We had already discussed yesterday that we wanted to keep the condition of the twins mostly away from Ced - as far as this was possible.

I sat down with them, buttered slices of toast, cut up some fruit, put some scrambled eggs with bacon in a bowl, and took a cup of coffee to go with it.

Meanwhile, Ced finished his breakfast, Bella lowered him to the floor, and he crawled around the living room after he loudly ranting demanded his Kraken from me.

It was still on the table, where my son couldn't reach it. I should know that, shouldn't I?

Ced scrambled across the floor and purposefully sought a temporary independent occupation. He took a look at his building blocks.

Astonished, I looked at my baby.

He sat with his back to us and didn't seem to give us a second glance. As if he were angry with us.

"Our son knows that I don't have time for him right after breakfast, because I first put everything away and clean up. Until then, he plays alone," my angel explained to me. "I just can't take too long to do it," she smirked afterwards.

"Jake's circulation worries me a little," I whispered to Bella, since we would therefore not be noticed.

I reported how humanly his body had reacted to this little mishap.

"Should we call Carlisle?" asked Bella anxiously.

"He's going to come by to check on them anyway," I indicated what I had taken from Carlisle's thoughts yesterday. "However, I don't think Carlisle can do anything. Our children are connected in some supernatural way that I simply have no explanation for. Jake is suffering with Leah, although he is doing much better. At least that's how it appears ...", I started to say, but I was interrupted by thoughts. "Becky's coming down," I said, and we headed for the stairs.

She had to go to school.

We admonished her to concentrate only on the exams and try not to think about the twins or Nanuk. There was time for that later, as the graduating class had school until noon due to the exams.

It would be difficult for her, which I did not doubt.

So Becky promised to make an effort and drove off in Jake's Mercedes.

And I hurriedly went upstairs.

Jake sat in the chair in front of his desk and shivered.

Trying to act a bit of 'ideal world' to Becky had strained him.

"What's wrong with me, Dad?" he looked at me anxiously as I entered the room and he held onto his desk so he wouldn't topple off the chair.

"I don't know, Jake," I countered.

I took him to the bathroom.

That was the only reason he had wanted to get up so few minutes ago when he stumbled out of bed.

Once there, we both winced.

Leah had woken up and Jake pushed me off him to go to his sister.

In a flash, I ran across the hall and rushed into my daughter's room. She was rolling back and forth as if she had to extinguish flames on her body.

"Leah?!", I exclaimed and immediately sat with her.

Leah was burning up inside. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead.

But only two minutes passed, during which I held her in my arms, before she became calm again. She slipped into a stupor with her eyes wide open, as if her outburst wasn't actually over, but as if she'd just run out of steam. Only after another four minutes did her eyelids close again.

I wasn't sure if she was unconscious, asleep from fatigue, or just lying there with her eyes closed.

Jake, on the other hand, sat on the floor in the bathroom while he brushed his teeth.

He felt too weak and shaky to stand, even though he wasn't actually feeling bad otherwise. He was not dizzy - at the moment - or nauseous, and he was not in pain.

I sat on the edge of the bathtub while we talked.

Well. I was talking, Jake was thinking.

He again asked about Leah, and I asked him if he had felt different in the last few minutes.

He had not.

I supported him on the way back to his room.

Bella and Ced were already there. Bella had shaken up the bed, aired out the room, and brought the tray of Jake's breakfast, which Ced had just done a quality check on. Bella approached us anxiously.

Jake kissed his mother on the forehead.

"I'm fine, Mom," Jake smiled reassuringly at his mother, but I could tell by the look on my angel's face that she didn't believe a word he said.

I sat Jake down on the bed and he pulled his little brother away from his breakfast that was on the nightstand.

"That's my breakfast!" grumbled Jake playfully.

Ced grinned, completely innocent. Unfortunately, he had some yogurt hanging from his mouth as proof.

"Do you want to starve me?" asked Jake, tickling Ced out a little.

At least as far as his strength was enough, which was not very long. But he overplayed it against Ced as best he could. Jake then ate in Bella's and Ced's company and I withdrew briefly.

I had to make a phone call.

Thank you for reading!