.

Chapter 185

Calls for Help

Bella

I was in a strange dozy state. I wasn't really awake, but I wasn't really asleep either.

When Edward returned with Leah, I immediately ran over and Leah, as soon as she was back in her bed, she started having one of her seizures. I stood in the doorway and could only watch my baby as she flailed around.

Edward looked as desperate as I felt. In my head there was a painful thudding, and everything seemed to go haywire inside me.

I screamed for her to stop. My knees gave out and Carlisle had carried me back to the bedroom. He had given me a shot.

No idea what was in there, but I got quiet and was now dozing off.

I had a headache when I awoke from my dozy state and Jake sat on the edge of my bed.

I felt like I was in a surreal dream, which is why I didn't really move. Jake said that everything was fine, but actually nothing was fine right now. Leah was back in the house, yes, but in what condition?

When I no longer saw Jake in front of me, I sat up worriedly.

Much ... too... fast!

I held my head and squinted my eyes painfully.

I was kind of afraid to be alone, but I wasn't alone. Carlisle immediately squatted in front of me.

"Not so fast, Bella. It doesn't agree with your head," he said caringly.

The warning definitely came too late!

I just nodded.

Careful.

A few short minutes passed before Carlisle moved away. I was still sitting upright with narrowed eyes.

When I peeked why Carlisle was leaving, I saw Edward in front of me. For a moment we just looked at each other.

Torness was in the look of my angel. As if he didn't really know or was still weighing up where he should be right now. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I embraced him so quickly and so tightly that my head did not really want to play along.

I felt considerably dizzy, but Edward hugged me just as tightly that this condition was drowned in it.

I wanted him to stay with me now. I was his wife after all, and he had to be there for me when I needed him. And I needed my angel. Here. With me. Palpable.

"How are you, dearest?" he whispered into our embrace, breaking away from me just enough to look at me and to gently stroke my face with his fingertips.

"I have a headache," I stated. "What about Leah?", however, I wanted to know.

"Unchanged," he said sadly. "Jake is with her."

"Where was she? Why did she run away? What was she up to?", I asked nervously.

Edward breathed deeply as he looked at me.

"Leah ran into the woods. To a cliff we had passed on our trip ... She jumped," he answered.

His voice trembled considerably.

"She ... jumped?", I stammered in a whisper.

"Yes. I got there just in time to prevent her impact," he muttered.

Edward let go of my face, his head fell against me, and his arms wrapped around me.

It took me a moment to process those words.

"Leah tried to kill herself," I stated to myself. Objectively and dryly. It didn't fit my daughter, which is why I couldn't really connect it with her.

We were silent for quite a long moment, during which I cuddled Edward through the back of his neck.

"I don't know if she even knew what she was doing. Whether she knew she hurt you on the way out of the house. Whether she knew she wouldn't be with us after that jump ... But she won't get another chance to try again ... You listen, Bella! We will not lose our daughter!", he then said so emphatically that I could only believe him.

Maybe he had to convince himself with it.

I just nodded.

Very suddenly he got up and ran out of the room.

I heard him storm into Leah's room across the hall, but I didn't hear Leah herself.

Not yet. I knew her seizures usually started quietly.

I clawed myself with my hands into the bedspread.

I had lost my grip. The physical, because Edward no longer knelt before me. But also my spiritual, because Edward no longer knelt in front of me. Tears were pressing against my eyes. I felt so helpless. I couldn't bring myself to go to Leah. I couldn't stand the sight of her right now. And I felt alone. Of course Edward didn't want to leave our daughter alone during her outbursts. But what about me? Was I allowed to blame Edward for leaving me alone while Leah was freaking out? I wasn't sure and now I also felt guilty for my selfishness.

I lay down, slowly and carefully so that my head would not rebel.

When I finally heard Leah screaming for Nanuk, I also heard the bedroom door quietly click shut.

I assumed Carlisle was back with me, but I was wrong, I realized as I turned slightly toward the door.

"Jake kicked me out," the vampire stated tonelessly, as if undecided what that meant.

"Why?" I didn't understand. Edward was Leah's father ... sort of, and all he wanted to do was stand by his daughter as best he could. Why would Jake object to that? Edward had been taking care of her for the past two days, and it hadn't bothered him.

"He means he'll take care of Leah and stay with her. Along with Carlisle. And I'd better take care of you."

I smiled.

"Then listen to your son!", I informed the angel.

The corners of his mouth almost smiled, but he lay down with me.

I snuggled up to Edward as much as my damaged face would allow without hurting. I played with his shirt collar, and he stroked me tenderly around my injuries, kissed me on the forehead, hummed our song. His closeness alone did me good and made me see things a little more clearly again. At least until I actually fell asleep.

When I woke up again, Edward was still lying with me, and he had apparently not interrupted his caressing sessions for a moment.

"Hi ...", I mumbled still a little sleepy.

"Hello, my heart. Are you feeling better?"

I nodded and immediately regretted it.

My headache was still there.

Edward made me a cup of tea and also brought a sandwich, which I gratefully ate. Lunch had been canceled because of Leah. When Sonya had left, I had actually wanted to start cooking.

"Jake has forbidden me under penalty to enter Leah's room again," Edward complained after bringing me some more cookies.

"Like that? How?"

"He didn't specify, but I'm willing to take his word for it! He is with her and for the time being has no intention of vacating his place at her side. Until then, I'm banned from the room."

Edward lay back down with me, and we spent the rest of the afternoon with cuddling and chatting.

Sometimes we were just lying there looking at each other. We smiled more, albeit tentatively. We didn't talk about Leah. The mood was depressed, of course, because neither of us forgot her, especially when we heard her across the hall.

"Has Cathlyn actually called in again?" asked Edward at one point.

"Yes. She called this morning. Where you didn't take the exams, your previous grades will be carried over to the report card."

"You see. There you go," Edward said played bitingly.

I smirked.

He had not understood Cathlyn's problem in this regard at all. He said that he and his siblings had not been able to take some exams or even final exams. Mostly due to the weather. He had never experienced that the school administration had made such a fuss. However, he admitted that the vampires' grades were without exception impeccable. There was a difference to the grades of our twins.

I also already knew what the schedule was going to be like soon for the school-aged part of my family.

"You will continue to have music with Becky and chemistry and history with Jake and Leah together," I opened to my angel. He smiled enchantingly. "And if you wanted to go back to school full-time, you could have bio and physics with them, too."

"It's a tempting thought. I really enjoy being in class with my kids," he reflected. "However, I also find it very pleasant to be with you and Ced as early as noon."

"I think so, too. But you could stay longer at school just once or twice a week," I suggested as a compromise.

He smiled and it was unmistakable that he liked this idea.

I gently kissed his lips when there was a knock at the door. I turned on my back to see who was coming and to take a look at the alarm clock.

It was dark outside, which had somehow passed me by.

Jake entered and had Ced sitting on his arm.

My baby flinched when he saw me.

I bristled at first, but then I remembered what I looked like at the moment.

Like after a fight. But only on one side. At the same time, I noticed that my headache had largely disappeared. It was only an unpleasant throbbing when I moved my head too fast. Just like now.

Jake sat Ced down on the bed at our tangled feet and he crawled up between us very briskly.

Immediately his hand was on my neck, and he asked excitedly if he was to blame for my injuries.

I took his hand, kissed his sweet little fingers and mentally answered that I had only stumbled and fallen against a door frame. At the same time I admonished him with it that he always had to watch out when he crawled through the area or later when he ran. So that this also did not happen to him at times.

He promised to always be careful.

This promise would last at most until dinner! I already knew something like that. From the twins. Just still snivelling with bruised knees or the like sit with me and be comforted. Ten minutes later they raged just as wildly as before.

Edward was also greeted by our little angel, but Edward immediately wanted to get up.

"At dinner, you'll tell me all about what you did with Esmé today!" he demanded of his son.

"Where will you go?" asked Jake, wondering.

"Dinner?" stated Edward.

"I didn't bring Ced to you guys to have you disappear right away, did I? And guess what, Dad, Mom taught me how to cook!" our son replied imperiously, which made me smirk.

I was kind of ... I don't know ... touched maybe? The last few hours had been very good for us, and Jake wanted to give us even more time together. I thought that was so kind.

Also Edward looked at Jake feelingly.

"Thanks, Jake!" is all I said before Jake turned toward the door.

He winked at me with a smirk.

"Why do our children, of all people, have to grow up and become responsible so quickly?" complained Edward, overly offended, as he lay back on the bed.

I just shrugged my shoulders ignorantly with a little, just thoughtful tear in my eye.

The twins were almost of age and those eighteen years had passed so quickly.

"But you're going to stay a baby for a long time!" he instructed Ced with a stern face.

Our son didn't like that at all. He wanted to grow really fast, so he wouldn't be left behind every time they went to the forest or to school or anywhere else.

Father and son discussed this objectively.

It was nice to watch the two of them. How they playfully squabbled and tickled each other. In the meantime, I had to unpack the very strict mom tone when they wanted to get over me. Did not work, so I tried to hide under the covers.

"Look out!" shouted Edward, but by then it was too late.

Ced slid off my shoulder and landed with one hand in my face.

Immediately his weight was off me, and Edward very carefully pulled the edge of the blanket away from my face. Together with our baby, who peeked quite anxiously.

Yes, it hurt where Ced had struck me on the cheek, but I smiled the pain aside. It was my own fault, after all. What was I also hiding myself under the blanket, and thus hid the parts of me that were to be enjoyed with caution today!

"It's all right," I said immediately and pushed my back against the headboard of the bed so that I was sitting up straighter.

"My little martyr! You're bleeding on your cheek," Edward peeked at me badly.

He took a closer look and Ced, meanwhile, hid under the covers.

"It's not so bad. I hardly notice it," I said and searched for my baby with one hand. Not that he would have another dramatic seizure as otherwise only his daddy could!

I reached only a single finger of my son, but mentally gave him to understand that it would not be bad and something like that happened when you romp around. I should have been careful myself.

Only very timidly he looked out from under the blanket, with only one eye and watched his daddy very carefully groping over my cheek.

Edward was so gentle that I barely felt it.

"It's swelling a little," the doctor noted gravely.

"But it doesn't hurt like it did before," I stated.

He raised his brows very doubtfully, which meant he didn't believe a word I said.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

He took a handkerchief from the nightstand and carefully dabbed the blood from my cheek.

"I'm bleeding, hmm ...?", I questioned. He had made it sound as if it was flowing in streams. From the handkerchief, however, I saw that it was just a few drops. If at all! When had I actually forgotten that the smell of blood should make me dizzy? "You could also nibble it away," I said lightly.

"Don't tempt me!" he reprimanded me smirking. "Because then I wouldn't be a good role model for our son!"

He put the cloth aside and then very quickly pulled away the bedspread.

Faster than Ced could have reacted to it.

Our baby peeked cutely anxious at his daddy. Edward had not yet addressed a word or gesture to Ced, which of course had not escaped his notice.

"Come on over here," he smiled toward our son.

Still a bit tentative, but he crawled toward us. Just before he reached us and would have climbed on my legs, he changed direction and seemed to hide behind Edward's back.

Not understanding, I contorted my face, but Edward also peeked in confusion.

He turned to him and picked him up on his arm.

"What's the matter, sweetheart? Why are you ashamed?" he asked our son.

Ced answered truly coyly, hiding his head against Edward's neck, but Edward smirked.

"You smell so good, even our offspring get thirsty from it."

"And that's why he's so embarrassed that he's avoiding me?"

"Yes. Since he thinks he's not allowed to feel that. Especially with his mommy," he explained to me.

Edward was talking to Ced about the normal thirst of a vampire, which Ced half was.

Partly right, partly in thought.

We had already tried to explain to him that it would be a completely normal reaction if he became thirsty at the smell of blood. He just shouldn't bite anyone to quench his thirst, but should tell us that.

Yes, even on that occasion it had been my blood that had flowed, but perhaps it had been too soon to convey that to him.

Edward then got his son something to drink.

As long as we waited, Ced sat at the end of the bed, not daring to look at me. He stubbornly looked at the door.

Better that way than not being able to tame him, I thought to myself.

He also stretched his arms out to Edward quite demanding when he came back. Only when he had made the first sips, I also had a baby again. So the three of us sat together in the big armchair while Ced quenched his thirst. I in Edward's arms and Ced in mine.

"The last few hours as a couple and now as a threesome have been very important for us, haven't they?" considered Edward.

"I think so. At lunch today, I was pretty tense, nervous, and certainly even hysterical. Even though I can hear Leah across the hall, I was able to let go of thoughts of her a bit and calm down inside."

"I feel the same way. I understand now that one has to recover from mental strain in order to be prepared for the further arduous path. Leah was in good hands, even if they weren't my own or ours. And at the end of the day, she wasn't in Jake's care either."

"Why are you thinking about it like that, Edward? What's on your mind?", I asked curiously.

"My siblings ... Actually, I didn't want them here. No vampires in our house, which already lead to unrest because of their number. I also wanted to spare them this burden that Leah's sight brings with it. In addition, you are first and foremost MY family and it is my responsibility to be there for all of you ... But now I see it a little differently. Jake is a wolf and just very grateful that Carlisle and Esmé are there so he can catch his breath with his star. You are Leah's mother, and you were actually a little hysterical at noon today. I am a tireless vampire, but Leah's condition makes me feel exhaustion as well ... We must not only take care of Leah, but also take care of ourselves. We must not let Leah depress us too much, lest we lose sight of the meaning of life. That's why I'm thinking of calling them, so that each of us can have time to recover from Leah's disposition."

"Do it," was all I said, and he did.

They would be there after dinner.

After diapering Ced, we went downstairs for dinner.

Jake and Becky had cooked together, and it tasted delicious, though Edward doubted it.

"I told you a couple of weeks ago that cooking is not in the requirement profile of a father for me. Because Mom taught me how to cook. It doesn't taste nearly as good as hers or yours, but we definitely wouldn't starve!", Jake brought home his point about that.

"What do you need me for then?" asked Edward in a huff, to whom the only thing left to do was to clear the table.

Jake pulled out his cell phone and tapped away on it.

"A few things come to mind ," Jake said, shoving the phone at him.

I peered at the display and laughed.

This was the photographed list from the book I had brought Edward from New York. 'The Expectant Father's Handbook. Construction process, scope of delivery, commissioning, maintenance.' The picture showed the checklist of what should be done by the time the warranty expired after eighteen years.

Edward smiled sentimentally.

He had actually worked with the children to work through this list. With growing enthusiasm from each individual. But a lot of it was not yet done either. A visit to the zoo, for example. Or a fishing trip.

"We'll grant you an extended warranty, too!" offered Jake immediately.

Then came the other vampires.

Everyone was dismayed at how Leah's condition really was.

Edward had to put up with some nasty remarks.

Jasper said he should have called much earlier. Not just for Leah, but for the rest of us. Rose chided him, saying she would be just as much a part of this family, but by Edward's rejection of all help, would exclude his siblings. Alice was generally pissed off about so little information she'd gotten, even secondhand, about Carlisle and Esmé. Moreover, forbidding them to visit was quite unbecoming. Emmett was offended that Edward denied them the sensitivity they needed.

Yes, this objection really came from Emmett!

But the scolding lasted only a moment, until everyone looked for a task.

So Jasper and Emmett ran into the woods with Jake and Becky.

Jake needed to catch up on the exercise he had missed the past two days.

Rosalie and Alice bathed Leah.

I was very grateful to them for that. I simply did not have the physical prerequisites for this, and I knew how unpleasant this would have been for Edward.

They also re-covered the bed and aired the room.

With Esmé and Carlisle we sat in the living room. They already seemed - after these few hours - very haggard.

We could sympathize with them, even though we were now feeling better after this afternoon.

We told them about our time off and everyone offered in equal measure that everyone should get time off too. However long Leah's apathetic existence would last. It was important, they said, so that we didn't lose ourselves in our caring.

We also talked about the vacation that Esmé and Carlisle had wanted to start tomorrow, but without an agreement on that. They wanted to skip their vacation completely, but we disagreed.

Even without Leah, Carlisle was ready for a vacation. The management and administration of the hospital - in addition to his normal duties as a doctor - took up so much of his time that he had relatively little time for his wife. Well, they didn't have to spend the nights with useless sleeping like I did, but still it was much less time than they usually had for each other.

Becky and Jake were sitting in our bedroom in Ced's little play area when Edward and I went to see Leah once again.

It was unchanged.

An existence between apathy and hysteria.

We accompanied our daughter through another seizure.

Together. As a well-rehearsed team by now.

Edward held her in his arms just tight enough to keep her from lashing out, and I washed the sweat from her forehead, stroked her head or back, and we talked softly to her.

Without her taking any note of it. But we would continue to do it. Without us complaining about it. She was our baby, our princess.

"You should go to sleep, dearest," Edward said after he put Leah back down and hugged me.

I nodded, pressed a kiss on my daughter's forehead and wished her a good night, as useless as that was, unfortunately.

Edward spun me around in his arms and pushed me ahead in the direction of the door.

Like every night, he would not miss the opportunity to at least personally tuck us into bed.

Then, all of a sudden, Emmett stood in our way. He was standing in the middle of the door, his arms crossed in front of his chest and with his honey-cake grin, even if it was weaker than usual today.

"When was the last time you slept next to your wife?" he turned to Edward in a serious tone of voice. "You're kindly going to bed, too!", Emmett determined further, without waiting for an answer.

I had to think for a moment myself about the last time Edward had spent a night lying next to me.

It had been three nights. In return, I heard my daughter rage regularly for three nights.

"I have to stay with Leah," Edward evaded the answer.

"Forget it, Eddie. Rose and I are staying with her."

"But ..."

"No buts! You're going to bed and you're kindly going about your marital duties!"

"But ..."

"And if you don't feel like it right now, you do ... what do I know. The main thing is that you stay with Bella tonight! Tell your family a good night story. I don't care!" rumbled Emmett further. "And if you say any more 'buts,' we'll tie you to the bed!" he now raised his index finger.

Edward wordlessly conceded defeat, went to Leah once again and thanked his big brother.

As we walked through our bedroom, we were bristled. There lay three children in our bed.

"We heard something about a good night story," Jake said, and Becky and Ced nodded in confirmation.

We smiled.

We really didn't feel like having sex at the moment, but we felt like being together.

We quickly got ready for bed in the bathroom, Rose brought another bottle for Ced and then the five of us lay together in our big bed.

Edward now told his children a bedtime story for the very first time in his existence. A story about a little boy who wanted to grow up very quickly.

Jake had Becky in his arms, I snuggled up to Edward and our baby sat between us all excited. He was too excited to lie down, because he didn't want to miss a single syllable. Still, he didn't notice much until he fell asleep. Jake and Becky also fell asleep before the end. Only I listened to my angel until the end.

"You'll have to tell it again," I whispered.

"I shall," he promised, giving me a kiss and then humming to himself, so that I soon fell asleep.

I felt like I had slept properly for the first time in ages, and the many children in our bed looked truly refreshed as well.

The morning passed somewhat hectically.

Rose and Emmett had to get home to get to school on time, but Carlisle and Esmé were not there yet.

Just as planned, but since we had to get ready for the funeral and have breakfast beforehand, it had become a bit turbulent.

So we arrived also only quite scarcely at the cemetery of Cornish, after before us also still another small car accident had happened.

Nanuk's funeral had been very devotional, and the subsequent gathering with his family at their home even had a bit of a homey feel. Nevertheless, I could only stand it there for an hour.

I was worried. This was normal for Leah at the moment, but I was also worried about Jake. Of course, Edward had told me that Akai and Jake came to blows. Therefore, my thoughts also included Akai.

Edward and Amarok had talked about this brawl for a very long time. Both were of the same opinion.

It was a kind of cry for help from Akai. An outlet. The first one on whom he could vent his rage unhindered without accidentally killing him.

We drove home in silence.

Meanwhile I had a headache.

Carlisle had warned me about this. With the force with which I had been slammed against the door frame yesterday, I could be glad that nothing was broken anywhere.

Some had asked me about my face, and I had told everyone the same thing. That I had stumbled against the door frame.

I sat a little sideways in the seat and looked at my angel, who covered my hands with one of his.

How would I feel if he were taken from this world forever? A tear rolled down my cheek at this thought. I would feel like I did twenty years ago. Only worse. But today I would still want to go on living. For our common children.

Finally at home we were directly frightened.

Carlisle sat in the living room with Becky and was bandaging Becky's foot. But the scare didn't last long. She had tripped over Jake and twisted the joint a little. The bandage was just to take some pressure off the joint and could be removed as early as tomorrow. It would be more precautionary than a real medical necessity.

Then we walked briskly to Leah.

She was lying there absent-mindedly. No change. But did I seriously expect that?

Jake retired to his room with Becky, we changed, and Esmé and Carlisle said goodbye after we told them a little about the funeral. They took Ced with them and would bring him back for dinner or have Jasper and Alice bring him. The two of them would keep vigil at Leah's bedside tonight.

But until then, Edward and I would be there for our little girl. It was still early, not two o'clock in the afternoon, so I settled in for several hours.

As my gaze roamed her room between Leah's seizures, my eyes lingered on a book.

A children's book that Leah still had on her shelf for nostalgic reasons.

I took it, leafed through it and smiled.

"'Bees on the Run,'" Edward read the title questioningly. "I've always wondered what that book was about. It's not exactly in their preferred reading," he said.

I flipped to the inside cover of the book and sat back on the bed.

A photo was stuck there, along with a very scrawly dedication.

Frends vorevver! LisA

"It was the parting gift from kindergarten and the picture was from her first day there. That's when she got to know Lisa," I explained.

"It actually slipped my mind that it's actually Lisa who's her best and oldest friend, not Becky," Edward admitted.

"Just like you had to think about who Jake's best friend is with Brandon and Marcus as well. I think that Marcus and Becky being in on all of our secrets - no exceptions - and them practically all living here together, especially during the vacations, probably changed the twins' sensation a bit, too," I reflected.

"That certainly plays a significant role, and the attachment between Jake and Leah does the rest. As wolves, they very much empathize with each other's love for their mate and are in turn attracted to that person in some way."

I snuggled up to Edward for a bit and read my daughter her once favorite story.

Two young bees fled from their work in the hive, preferring to discover the world. I was not sure if Leah noticed anything, but I imagined that she almost smiled. Until another attack.

I was sitting within striking distance, so I jumped up from the bed when she became more than just restless.

Edward reacted immediately and quickly turned Leah onto her stomach so that she could only hit on her mattress, if at all.

This she also did. With all her strength.

I took a step back.

Exactly this scene was somehow ... I didn't know. I was fine so far, but I had the impression of being beside myself. And I mean, literally. That scene as Leah pounded on her bedding and Edward struggled to calm her down felt grotesquely and surreally familiar. It was as if I were looking down on myself. Myself some twenty years ago! The feelings of that time came back to me. I knew it was not real, that it had nothing to do with today, but still I felt the darkness of that time, the abyss that pulled at me and wanted to swallow me.

I ran away!

Without even turning around or saying a word, I ran down the stairs, almost tripping on the bottom steps, grabbing my jacket, my purse, my helmet.

I had to get away. I fled. From myself. From the Bella that Leah had reminded me of. The Bella I hadn't been in so long. Just away.

But I quickly put my helmet away again.

With the injuries on my face, there was no way I could even think of putting on my helmet.

So I was left with only one option for escape. The Jaguar, which was parked at the bottom of our driveway.

Edward would shorten me a head if his Lady got so much as a scratch, but to pay sufficient attention to such concerns, my flight instinct was just too fierce.

I grabbed my keys, my purse and disappeared.

For a long time I just drove haphazardly through the streets.

I had no destination in mind, but left Saco behind. I would go home again, that was not a question, I just didn't know when.

Somewhere in a parking lot next to the road I stopped.

No idea where exactly I was there.

I got out and leaned against the car.

I had a headache, but it was more annoying than painful. I took a deep breath of the cold air to clear my head.

Leah had catapulted me into my own past. I had to detach myself from that. In this process, it helped me best if I could gain some distance from things. I would have liked to send Edward a message that everything was fine with me, that I just needed to recover from this image for a moment, but I had stupidly left my cell phone in the dining room. I wasn't ready to go home yet. I felt like I needed to do something first, but I didn't know what.

I walked up and down a little, just to move around and not get cold.

In doing so, I consciously thought of my dark time without letting the pain of that time get to me.

The time after Edward had left me. Yes, only this time Leah had reminded me of. Not the one in which Jacob had also been gone from me. That's why I managed so easily now not to let myself be dragged into my abyss and to go through the memories objectively without it getting me down. Certainly I was much better off then than my daughter is today. I had also had regular screaming attacks, but I only had them at night. During the day I had 'functioned'. At least from the outside. I went to school, did my homework, took care of the household. If I had nothing like that to do, I just sat there and thought about Edward. I didn't go out, I met with absolutely no one, the same was actually true even for just talking, I didn't read anymore, I didn't listen to music. I just made sure that Charlie had no reason to complain. I had not really lived at that time. But how had I found my way out of this darkness again at that time ...

I got into the car and drove off.

This time with a precise goal.

I looked at the clock.

3:37 p.m. It would be close.

I drove as fast like I dared with Edward's Lady of all things - considering the weather conditions. Fortunately, snow could be handled in these parts, so the roads were passable.

The parking lot was quite spacious, and I curved between countless parked cars until I finally found a dark blue Audi behind which I got in the way.

I didn't see a free parking space.

I heard the school bell up to here, which is why I got out and then kept a lookout.

I stood in the cold for a few minutes until I finally saw him.

Marcus. He seemed sluggish. Not necessarily exhausted, but rather listless.

He was standing with two other young men and a girl, talking to them until they parted. But Marcus did not come to the car. He took the opposite direction.

I turned around to the car.

I could stand still like that. Only the Audi was blocked. It was the farthest parking spot right next to a building and I was right in front of the car. All the other cars in the immediate area could get past Edward's Jaguar lady without any problem.

I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat, locked up, and headed in the direction Marcus had gone. I just saw him enter a store across the street.

A bistro.

I stood restlessly on the busy street for what felt like an eternity, waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green.

Who built a school on a road like that? It angered me.

A bright bell announced my entrance, but no one seemed bothered by the sound. I looked around.

Marcus sat at the side on a bench. As if he would cower a little in the corner. A cup of coffee in front of him on the table, also a book, a pencil case, and a writing pad.

I went to him.

"Hello, Marcus," I said cautiously.

Slowly, he looked up. First a trace annoyed - probably because of the general disturbance - then finally incredulous.

"Bella!" he stated in surprise.

He stood up awkwardly and we hugged each other.

In a way, he was my prodigal son. In this respect, I was happy to see him again. Only the circumstances that had brought me here were anything but pleasant, but really frightened me.

"What are you doing here?" he then asked as we broke away from each other. "What happened to you?" he asked right after, more concerned as he undoubtedly recognized my battered face.

"May I?" however, I first dug deeper and pointed with my chin to the bench on the other side of the table.

"Sure thing," he said, somewhat frantically putting his things together.

"Isn't it a little late to be studying? The midterms are over, aren't they?" I asked. It was undoubtedly a textbook - math - but what kid studied when the exam was just behind you?

"Welcome to the 'Maverick'. What can I get you?" a waitress immediately stood by us and handed me the menu.

I ordered a cappuccino.

"Yes, it's too late to study, but with something I have to distract myself," Marcus now admitted, when the waitress had left again. "So are you going to tell me what happened to you? Why you look like you got into a fight?"

"That ... was ... Leah," I hummed and hawed a little, but looked him straight in the eyes at my daughter's name.

His eyes twitched briefly.

"WHAT?" he asked so loudly that everyone turned to look at us.

He ran his hands frantically through his hair, shook his head. For a blink of an eye I thought I could interpret confusion, but then his look became angry. He forced himself to calm down, I could see it in his face.

"What do you mean, 'That was Leah'? She's hardly likely to have beaten you up! ... Or is Nanuk unable to handle her temper?" he asked angrily, with plenty of spite in his voice, scowling at me.

'The phases of a breakup' was a report from a magazine that went through my mind. According to this article, after the end of a relationship, one went through different phases until you got over the breakup. Apparently Marcus was in the anger and rage phase and had already gone through both the denial, the overflowing emotions and the depression.

"Nanuk is dead!", I said directly.

Silence. A forever-lasting moment. I could not guess what was going on inside him. It seemed to be too much at once.

"He's ... what?" stammered Marcus in disbelief.

His anger had apparently disappeared for the time being.

"Nanuk on Monday night ...", I looked around briefly, "... encountered two predators ...", I emphasized this word, "... in the forest. Alone. Edward could do nothing more when they reached him. Since then, Leah has not been herself."

"What ... does that mean exactly?" he asked intently. Trepidatiously and worriedly.

"She's in a scary state. She hasn't had anything to eat or talked to since Monday. She's either lying there without registering anything from the environment or she's freaking out, screaming, and lashing out," I summarized Leah's condition.

Marcus sucked in the air sharply between his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut.

"And you were too close when she lashed out?"

"In a manner of speaking," I evaded an honest answer. I didn't want to imagine that Leah could have deliberately attacked me. To that extent, I didn't want it to be interpreted that way from my description either.

"I'm very sorry about that, Bella," he murmured, affected.

"It's not so bad. I hardly notice it anymore. But Leah's condition really scares me."

My cappuccino was brought.

I took the cup in both hands. It was cold outside and so were my hands. I blew a little and sipped carefully.

"While I'm glad to see you again, I don't assume you're here by chance. However, I don't understand why."

I nodded. I set the cup down again and took a deep breath before looking Marcus in the eyes.

"I beg you to save my daughter!", I implored.

Again it was silent for a moment and again I couldn't tell what was going on inside Marcus.

"Why me? Why do you think that I, of all people, could change something about Leah's condition? A condition I can't really imagine, actually. Our relationship is over because it no longer had a future. Because Leah was avoiding me more and more. Because she actually loves Nanuk, even if she didn't want to admit it," he said with an agonized undertone.

"She hid from him that you broke up with her. She wouldn't tell him. Never. She had various reasons for that," I began to explain.

"Jake already told me that, and I could only partially comprehend it with him. Please spare me from hearing it again," he interjected.

"Okay ... So, as far as we know, on Monday - when you were all supposed to go to Boston together - the emotions came crashing down on her. She had lost you and couldn't win Nanuk. She didn't go with the others, but stayed home alone. So that we - that is, Edward and I - didn't notice, she ran into the forest. There Nanuk found her. She must have been in a very bad way out there if Nanuk sensed this call for help."

"And what does that have to do with me?", Marcus interrupted me again.

A touch pissed and I couldn't really blame him, actually, thinking about it that way.

"I'm sorry to go far afield. I can imagine that it's not easy for you to hear something like this from Leah, but I don't want to keep anything from you. I'm asking for your help. But in return, you should know everything that happened without you," I explained.

He nodded, took a sip of his coffee and I did the same. It seemed like a little breather before I got to the really unpleasant stories for him.

"I won't kid you, Marcus ... Yes, she loved Nanuk. More than that, probably. Nanuk found her by the lake, all broken up and desperate, and they found each other in the process. For one afternoon, Leah and Nanuk were incredibly happy together. Together they radiated such a zest for life and enthusiasm that it was hard to believe. But even that afternoon she missed you and still had to swallow at your separation. They were partially quite curious thoughts, as Edward told me. Nanuk, who still loved Kate but wanted to break off his engagement that evening. Leah, who still mourned you, but rejoiced in Nanuk's arms. They both experienced pure joy over each other, but both were also unhappy with what they had to sacrifice for it ... What I'm ultimately getting at is that you Leah still cared a great deal even when she was by Nanuk's side ... I don't believe that those feelings have disappeared ... Maybe exactly these feelings are the key to be a guide back to life for Leah. So I ask you, Marcus, try to be that guide for my daughter! You are the only hope I have left right now!"

Marcus looked at me for a long time without moving significantly. Thoughtfully, he turned a little to the side, ran a hand through his hair again, and looked around indeterminately through the area. He took a few deep breaths.

"You're right, at least in the sense that these feelings aren't going away anytime soon. It still hurts ... I have to wait for Jules. She has one more meeting with her gymnastics class. She didn't know how long it was going to be. That's why we're appointed here, but I'll come by later."

"I'd feel better if you drove to her right away. I can wait for Jules and take her home," I suggested, but it sounded more like a desperate plea, whereby I placed the keys to the Jaguar on the table.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" he looked at the key in confusion. At the same time, he seemed to recognize the symbol. His eyes widened. "Edward is letting you drive THAT?" he asked.

"Well, not exactly. I took the car that was at the end of the full driveway. And I blocked in the Audi," I admitted, muttering.

"You do realize that Edward will make mincemeat of me if I put a scratch in it!"?

"You probably can total it if you just bring Leah back to us!", I countered truthfully though.

Marcus smiled a little and packed his things. He handed me the key to the Audi, we stood in front of each other in silence for a moment, but then he hurried.

"Drive carefully!", I called after him and watched him go. All my hopes were now on Marcus.

Thank you for reading!