Author's note: Hey everyone. I am finally back home with my parents and siblings, and away from the abusive person in my life. It's going to be okay. I won't lie, it's hard on some days and then it's dandy on all the other days. I know I deserve better than this. Thank you all so much for your kindness and patience. You deserve so many new stories from me after I complete this one. :D

Just a reminder, because I know you guys love to comment about how the characters in my stories behave.. but Kenshin and Soujiro in this fanfic are going to be hella P-R-O-B-L-E-M-A-T-I-C and you'll soon find out why in the end. Kenshin's not just some evasive cool bad ass, but he too has a lot of serious problems of his own. Just a little warning. ;)

Enjoy! A new update will come around next Friday, so keep your eye out for it!

"Hush
Let's kick it in to touch
And wash away the sludge
That's withering our minds."

- Pretty Vicious

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Where am I?

All around me is dark, with no beginning, and no end. No walls, no floors, no ceilings, no light, no humanity. I'm all alone in this vortex. It feels cool all around me and the hairs behind my neck stood up. I take some wary steps forward, my shoes orchestrating loud echoes, as if I'm inside a chamber of some sort. What is this place? I rub my hands up and down on my forearms, the temperature dipping the further I walk ahead. Pretty soon my bottom lip starts to quiver and my teeth are chattering on the inside, looking frantically all around to see if I can find an escape.

Am I.. Am I dead?

As if that thought was heard and recognized, I hear something being turned on and I look over my shoulder with a startled gasp. Way ahead, I see a small gray light illuminating from the ground up, and a ring of bodies floating in a circle. With their heads down, and limbs limp, they don't seem to be alive at all. Are those corpses? I tighten my eyes to get a better look, walking towards them hesitatingly. The bodies float in a counter clockwise circle around the light slowly, not rousing awake even as I step near them to watch them. I don't know if I should be curious or disturbed. Who are these people? Are these people that I know? Their skin looks ashen and gray with decay, with no indication of their genders or any other unique characteristics. They're like empty dolls, devoid of any meaning or purpose.

I shake my thoughts and turn around to walk away, looking all around me and calling out if somebody can hear me. Soon I lose my voice, and every time I would open my mouth to scream, all I hear is a low booming noise playing back. Like a bass guitar playing a really long, senseless note. I soon give up. There is just no point continuing. I think I'm all alone here. Hearing something else, I look towards the floating group of corpses. I see that there is now someone standing in the middle of them. Shuffling closer, my skin almost numb from the freezing temperature, I see that it's a young man. A young man nearly as tall as I am, about the same age as I am, and looking up at the area above him and around. I can hear him giggling at the corpses that float around him, clearly entertained by it. This reminds me of my gross art, honestly.

Coming closer, I can see now who I am looking at. It's Soujiro. With his gray shirt bouncing off from the color of his eyes, it almost looks like his eyes aren't blue anymore, but a strange muted gas tone instead. Like I'm looking at a blind animal or something. He turns to me, that smile still on his face, though it falters when he recognizes me. I blink, waiting. He doesn't say anything, not for a very long time, and I don't say anything either. The corpses continue to float around him like normal. Suddenly, a thought pop into my head, and I wonder, what if I made the first move? Would he respond well to me? I decided to give it a shot. Reaching up with my left hand, I thrust my arm forward gently, as if wanting to shake his hand. He looks at my hand, tilting his head, just as he would usually do. Then he tilts it the other way, smirking. What's he thinking, I wonder?

"Take my hand." I say, though the words were constructed in bass sounds again.

But, I think he actually understood me. Because he then takes it with his hand, the only warm thing in this cold vortex.

I look at our hands, in union. Slender fingers enclosed around rough calloused ones from being so good with my hands. Then my eyes flicker up, and I gasp startlingly. All the corpses are gone and now it's just him and I. His long eyelashes look strange on him, being male and all, but his rosebud lips seem.. I blink softly, walking closer to him. I don't know what came over me, but I start to kiss him. I stroke the side of his soft face, while my other hand pushes the small of his back forward so that we can be closer. Together. The same, hot, wet, slithering tongue that I've experienced from that night at the mansion, feels just as amazing inside my mouth as it did when it was somewhere else on my body. I moan with a surprised gasp over that distant memory, remembering the orgasm he's given me. We kiss deeper, a soft moan now coming from him, his arms wrapped around my neck now. The vortex suddenly picks up the temperature and it starts to feel sweetly warm now, the sense of my skin coming back from its numbing pain.

I wonder how you'd feel if I fucked you right now.

I break the kiss with a breathless pant, our faces a mere centimeter away from each others lips.

I whisper, "Soujiro..?"

His smile couldn't be put into words to match its pure happiness. He must've suffered for eons before I bestowed that kiss on his lips. And he says something, but only his lips move with no sounds. My brows furrow, shaking my head. He tries again, taking the sides of my face with his hands lovingly.

"I can't," I continue to shake my head, "I can't hear you, Soujiro."

He tries, one more time, his smile fading the more he fails to do so. Oh, Soujiro. I feel pain inside my heart, watching him crumble in my arms. He looks around the darkness, oblivious and confused. I grab onto him so that he doesn't collapse, and he tries, again and again and again. And over and over again, not a single sound is heard. He looks so helpless, like a bird with a broken wing. And yet, I don't force him to say anything anymore. I just embrace him tightly, the smell of his hair sweet as flowers. He stops and hugs me back, the warmth overwhelming now.

Soujiro..

I hear him suddenly, whispering in my ear, "Wake up."

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I wake up, slowly, cautiously. It's Saturday. I don't know what time it is, but I think it has to be around noon. I'm not one to stick to a predictable timetable, after all. Sitting up with an uneasy grunt, I rub my eye and shuffle my hand through my messy mane. What am I going to do today? I guess I could study, but the rebellious side of me doesn't want to. The other side of me is also sick with nervousness; Of having to read his handwriting and notes all over my books, papers, and folders. Soujiro's helping me study and pass the senior year, and for what? So that he could suck my dick? I flinch at that thought, completely unprepared to even hear it in my own voice. I can't believe last night happened. I can't believe he did that to me. I can't believe all the things he said afterwards―

"―H'oh, man!" Soujiro giggled as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "You came a lot, didn't you?"

With a flurry of hurried actions, I quickly pulled my pants up and scramble to get up from where I sat, red and flustered, "W-why did you.. did you..?!"

"Aw, come on, Kenshin!" He laughs harder now, "It's all in good fun, right? You enjoyed it, and so did I. For all the shit I've been given you, surely this would be a nice compensation, right?"

"What the fuck does that―" I shake my head at the ridiculousness of what I'm hearing, "No! This isn't right! You can't just.. You can't just force yourself on someone like this! It's just.. I won't.."

I couldn't finish. Soujiro watches me, his arms crossed in front of him and biting his lower lip, waiting for me to continue. But I can't. Not with those piercing twin pools of ocean looking right at me. The words couldn't form and travel their way to the tip of my tongue as freely as they usually did. I was always one to speak my mind whenever I wanted to, no questions asked and without shame. But tonight, after what Soujiro did to me.. I can't even look straight ahead without feeling my face going up into flames. My stomach hurts from the anxiety quivers vibrating throughout. But looking at those desolate blue eyes, there really is something I needed to ask him. The words he spoke right after he pleasured me, the words I never thought I would hear from another man like myself.

"Soujiro.. Do you really.." I hesitate, my eyes flickering to the ground, "Do you really love me?"

Why am I so afraid of hearing the answer?

He doesn't say anything at first. My fists start to quiver, his silence killing me. Why won't he answer the question? I guess he really is that stupid! I glanced up defiantly, "Well?!"

Instead of flinching like I thought he would, he just giggles and takes his time letting it die down before answering, "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"You don't," I use my hands for emphasis, "know me!"

"I do, in fact, know you," Soujiro's eyes quickly roll up and smiles with a hint of sarcasm, "It has been almost a week, but you opened up to me better than you have on the first day of meeting me. Your friends have already accepted as part of their clubhouse. And, well, there's really not much you can do about that without looking like a psycho to them. Right? Kaoru told me during class about your little freak out with her and Sano. How embarrassing."

My heart pangs at his cruelty. Who is this fucking monster? Who does he think he is? Does he really think of himself as omnipotence because of his heritage? I'm absolutely livid at this point. As the rage rises to my eyes, I can only muster the sheer will to just try and walk from him, but he easily blocks me with his hands on my shoulders. I forcefully grab his wrists to get them off of me, as if his touched burned my skin. Despite my strength and unpleasant demeanor right now, though.. Soujiro only stares at me blankly, shaking me to the core with an emotion I have never felt before. It can't be filed under fear, anger, or sadness, but it's something that really makes me want to hurl if I don't get out of here quickly. I shove him off of me and that's when he grabs my face to pull me into a kiss.

I make a sharp cry in surprise, grabbing his forearms without thinking or knowing how to get him off of me. For someone who looks so svelte like, there is a curious force in his hands and arms that commands immediate obedience to just give in to the kiss. All I can see is his closed eyes up close, my face no doubt as red as the evening sun. He breaks the kiss and leans away to look into my eyes, his expression still hard to read. Finally, he whispers, "I just love you, Kenshin. Okay?"

It pains me to look at his beauty.

With another peck on my lips, he doesn't let me have the chance to respond properly as he walks on away from me, not even bothering to look at the damage he's done. I watch him as he walks down and through the backyard of the mansion, trying to find my breath again. But why? Why does he love me? And what does he mean that he does, in fact, know me? The way he said those words might've seemed sarcastic on the surface, but I think there's something hidden underneath it too. Something else that he just isn't telling me. What else could that boy be hiding. At the sight of him closing the glass panel door behind him, I blink away my thoughts and decided to just go home. That's enough drama for one night. I think I'm gonna be sick.

After vomiting in my bathroom toilet, I let my body fall on my mattress to sleep the nightmare off. And now, here we are, in the next morning while I ruminate the aftermaths inside my head. Soujiro Seta couldn't have been picked up by anyone as one of those people. You know what I mean.. like a homosexual. Coming from a corporation that is strict in its traditional practices and values, there is just no way that their son―who would soon be their head leader someday―could also be into having sexual contact with other men. Especially contact with men who have nothing to serve to society at large themselves. I blush, not knowing if I should be putting myself down like that. But it's just too difficult to believe that the cream of the crop of society, could ever be interested in a guy like me.

There's also no way that I have been his first conquest. That boy has skills with his lips and tongue that is unraveled by even the most seasoned girls I have been with before. My blush runs deeper, remembering the details of last night's activities; the way he lustily looks up at me as he swallows me entirely, the light grazing of his teeth against my hot flesh, the saliva and my cum mixed in his mouth as he happily drinks it all. An intense pulse hits my lower regions and I grab the cloth of my boxer shorts with a sharp gasp, suddenly needing to take a shower. Desperately. As the warm water hits my head, I start to masturbate furiously, trying to replicate the feelings of Soujiro's mouth with just my hand. The amount of pressure he used, the speed, all of it. Within minutes, I convulse and shiver, and that's when all the other emotions hit me all at once.

Shame. Guilt. Disgust.

I hit the shower floor without a care, sobbing in my hands.

What have you done to me?

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"Kenshin, are you alright?"

I blink once, coming up from a cloud of daydreams to look at Hiko from across the table. We're having breakfast. Apparently I did wake up early enough to spend time with him. His eyebrow cocks upward, waiting for my response. I frown, closing my eyes to dig into my food without giving him the satisfaction.

"I thought I heard you falling in the shower. You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"I'm fine." I reply curtly, stabbing my utensil into the fish.

"You don't look fine."

"When have I ever looked fine to you?" I shove said piece of fish inside of my mouth.

"Good point. But," Hiko's chuckle is surprisingly sweet despite the awkward situation, "I can just tell by your face that something is bothering you."

"Nothing is bothering me. Now stop it." My eyes flash open to end my sentence with a look alone: I mean it.

Hiko deflates, giving up. Good. More quiet time so that I can finish eating my goddamn breakfast in peace. Afterwards, as I get up from the table to put the dirty dishes away, Hiko decides to try one more time with a gentle demeanor, "Son, I'm sorry if I'm annoying you right now. I'm just worried about you, that's all. I know that you are going through a lot and I understand that a lot of those issues stem with me and my.. Addiction. Just know that I've gotten rid of all the alcohol from this place and called all the local bars and brewers to ban me from from buying their stuff. People around here, I think.. I think they want to see people like me to get better. I hope that it means something to you, Kenshin."

I turn towards him, at a loss for words. I don't have it in me to give him lip anymore. Carefully setting the plate in the sink, I nod with a quiet voice, "Of course."

We were quiet for a moment. I hope I'm not blushing in front of him.

Hiko pipes up, "So! What is my son doing today? Will he be seeing his friends, do a little shopping, perhaps?"

I smirk, "Like I have the money."

"Oh, I have just the thing!" Hiko struggles with getting his wallet from his pocket jean before flipping it open to get some notes out, "Here."

"No way, dad, keep it," I place my hands up as I shake my head, "You need it way more than I do."

"No, no, trust me, I.. I have some yen here so that you can at least go and eat something with your pals." Hiko insists and shows me the money in his hand, "I got a call from a job and they said they'd like to schedule a second interview with me. With just their manager. It's looking really good for me, son. I want you to know that it's going to be okay again."

I gape at him. Then I stare at that money. It feels wrong to accept money from a near penniless drunk. I wince inwardly at that word. No.. I don't see him as a drunk anymore. A victim, perhaps, but not a drunk. I sigh, taking a couple of steps forward to accept the money, "You sure about this, dad?"

"A hundred and twenty percent sure! Now, get the heck outta here and go see your friends! Tell Sano I tell his father hello."

Speaking of hello..

"Where have you been?!"

I wince at Misao damn near screaming when I reached Sano's front lawn, and I don't have the strength to counteract like I usually do. Too much has happened for me to behave normally right now. And I also don't want them to know a single hint that something fucked up has happened to me last night, either. It could wreck the entire group dynamic as I know it. No way am I letting my little sexual escapade with Soujiro get in the way of my lifelong friendships. Uh uh. Nope. No way. I open my eyes to a pissed off and blushing Misao, and I smile with a little shake of my head. Which, of course, seemed to have angered her even more. She's like a little teapot ready to blow up in a steam. I chuckle and that disarmed her, leaving her in a state of confused blinking.

"Hey!" She bounces back with more vigor, her fists up and shivering, "We were all worried sick about you last night! You just up and disappeared without even telling us, and.. and I thought.. WE thought, that you.. died or something!"

I shrug theatrically, "Well, I'm not."

"Ooh!" She seethes, turning around to stomp up the small set of stairs of Sano's front porch, where he sits leisurely and smoking a cigarette.

"Yeah, sheesh, Shinta, at least text me before you leave, okay? I woulda whooped someone's ass if they tried to hurt you." With his cigarette dangling in his mouth, Sanosuke thrusts one fist into his other open palm as a demonstration, "Just let us know the name and his address and I'll end his life."

Even if that guy's name is Soujiro Seta and his address is where you all had the most fun last night?

But of course, I don't join in and just grunt to let him know that I'm dropping this conversation. I come on over to sit down next to Sanosuke, where he hands me his cigarette to join him on his smoking break. I accept and take a puff, the embers glowing like a demon's eye against the light gray skies. I wonder what shall we do today? I only have enough money for takeouts tonight, but maybe the gang would like to do something extra special today. And ironically, just as that thought enters and leaves my head, Sanosuke's phone vibrates in his leather jacket to which he retrieves to read the text message.

"Hey, it's Soujiro," His eyebrows jump up with a surprise, "He says: I'm bored as fuck. Let's go to the zoo today. I'm paying."

I scoff, flicking the cigarette in my hand to get rid of the extra ash, "Why, so he can join his original family at the monkey pen?"

Sanosuke sniggers at my quip, "Probably. But man, was that house party of his crazy last night, or whaaaaat?"

My stomach does a flip, remembering. But I don't let it show, and just shrug with one shoulder casually.

"So like, why'd you leave you so early last night?" Sanosuke starts typing on his phone meanwhile.

I roll my eyes, sighing, "It's nothing. I got sick suddenly and had to throw up."

"Yeesh." Sanosuke grimaces and I hear the sent tone playing on his mobile phone. He probably agreed to the zoo date with that little swine. God, just shoot me now. Before I knew it, we were all at the bus stop about a ten minute walk away from Sano's house, waiting for the metro to arrive. Cars zoomed past us as me, Sanosuke, Misao, Kaoru, Megumi, and Yahiko all huddled and joked around. I tried my best to keep my normal face on, though its difficult. I can't keep the fresh memories of last night out of my head. I look at my friends and I ache inside my heart at knowing how they'd react to finding out that I actually enjoyed having another man going down on me. The girls don't like the semi-homophobic jokes that Yahiko and Sano say, but they don't actively fight against it either. I remember how grossed out they felt when they found out about the girlfriend of Makoto Shishio is a bisexual woman. So imagine how the fuck I should feel right now.

Now imagine that feeling amplified when someone comes strolling up to us with that perfect smile and a friendly wave of their hand. Soujiro is dressed in a delightfully casual attire that still screams quality; a white polo shirt under a navy blue cardigan, brand new Levi jeans tailored to fit his every crook and cranny, and suede boat shoes that could amount to my grocery bills times ten. He nods and acknowledges everyone in the group, and then his eyes flicker over to me. With that subtle smug smile playing on his lips. The same lips that were wrapped around my cock not even twenty four hours ago. It's like his face is saying, "I have your secret in the palm of my hand. What oh what shall I ever do with it?" I swallow the bitter lump in my throat and evade his eyes as my friends clamor around him to compliment his appearance. Even Sanosuke said he looked like Soujiro has that je ne sais quoi thing about him today. Like I said before, just shoot me now!

"I'm glad you said yes to my text message, Sano," Soujiro beams, "I'm really excited to go see the zoo with you guys. I think it's gonna be so much fun!"

"I'm just surprised they're still open so late in the year," Kaoru muses to herself, cupping her chin, "I don't think the animals that are for outdoors won't be there for us to see, would there?"

"They have things for indoors. Like giant snakes and bugs and spiders!" Yahiko laughs in a mocking evil tone, which earned a punch on the arm by Megumi, "Hey!"

"Stop fucking scaring us!" Megumi bleats, which made Yahiko throw a raspberry at her with his tongue. Sano had to chuckle while I scratch the side of my own face with annoyance. I refuse to look towards Soujiro to even know what his reaction to my friends' shenanigans are. Who the fuck cares, right?

"Oh hey, there's the bus!" Misao hops up and down excitedly just as the sound of the mechanical hiss and sigh of the metro bus comes rolling to the curb. The door slides open and we all head up, paying our fares. Thank goodness for cheap public transit. We head all the way in the back, as we tend to always do with bus rides since we were little kids, because then we are given the promise of privacy to just.. well, be ourselves. Without the rest of the world judging us or our poorly fitted clothes, or our messy hair. The dumb games we used to come up with when we were little still plays in my head from time to time. And it always made me smile.

Like right now..

"You look happy."

I jump, startled. Looking up, I see Soujiro peering over his seat at me with a devious little smile. I gape at him, unsure of what to say at first. But as the rebound instinct kicks in, I scoff and turn my face away to look at the window beside me, crossing my arms. Defiant and defensive as I always have been. Nothing is said between us for a while. The world brushing past the window couldn't look more beautiful; busy streets paving its way to a more natural scenery as we ride through the countryside, where the zoo no doubts has its large organization planted somewhere. I think it's so cool to have something like that near where I live, and certainly for animals to enjoy the fresh air too. But like Kaoru mentioned before, it's too cold for the animals to be outside, so the choices will be limited. I don't mind that. I just like spending time with my friends like this.

And I don't include Soujiro under that category for me.

I won't.

"Are you gonna ignore me now?" I hear that taunting voice above me, so sweet on the surface, and yet so acidic once you dig deep down. I don't respond, keeping my arms crossed to signal him to fuck off. He watches me while I keep my eyes hard on the windows. A soft sigh is heard. I squint, feeling a bit thrown off, but I keep my composure never the less. I hear him whisper, "Your friends are watching you, you know. Watching us. If you act like this, how do you think they will react?"

My eyes look at him now and I glower, "They don't have to know shit."

He nods, "I know. I agree with you. That's why I need you to act normal."

"This is my normal," I smirk, averting my gaze away to look that we are just a few minutes away until our destination, "And they're okay with that."

"Suit yourself." I hear him turn around to finally leave me the fuck alone. Thankfully since my friends were all messing around with one another, they had no idea of that strange conversation that we were having. What do they know? They don't know what it's like to have this sort of secret closed shut inside of their chests. As the bus pulls up, we all collectively climb down off of it and head inside immediately, the entire building cold with the AC blasting. Thank god for my shit hoodie. I zip up and so did my other friends, Kaoru complaining loudly at this inconvenience. Maybe I can use this as an excuse to wrap my arms around her. On a second thought, never mind; I see Yahiko wrapping an arm around her shoulders and chuckling with an inside joke, leaving her in a fit of giggles also. I deflate inwardly, and follow the group after the tickets has been paid by our sugar daddy.

I laughed out loud for a second, which caught everybody's attention, and Sano starts laughing with me too, "What gives?"

I shake my head, "It's nothing. Forget it."

"Kenshin's finally lost it." Yahiko grins like a little shit, but flinches in fear at my intense head on death glare.

"I like this side of you more!" Misao grabs my arm, "I just wish Aoshi was here to spend time with us."

"Where is he―" I'm cut off by Soujiro.

"Hey, check that out!" Soujiro nearly bumped by me as he rushes over to a glass display of these giant snakes, which no doubt caught the males' attention the most. The ladies in our group just held onto each other as they carefully walk together at all the displays of nocturnal creatures. And I am left alone, looking at Sano and Yahiko trying to get the snake's attention by tapping on the glass and making faces at it. Soujiro stands in between them, giggling at their bullshit, and I hate to admit this.. but I already lost it with a raging fire inside of me over having to witness that. I think I'll go use the restroom and wash my face. I need to cool down before I ruin this trip for everyone. So while the gang are busily distracted with the animals, I take my leave privately to find a bathroom nearby. It didn't take me long to find it, with all the helpful signs posted everywhere.

The bathroom door slams shut behind me before I walk on over to the sinks to turn on the faucet. Splashing the cold water on my face, I gravely exhale, hoping I can keep it together for the next couple of hours. Maybe I can leave the gang before dinner time with some bullshit excuse, like feeling sick again. Then again, knowing Soujiro's character at this point, I think he'll take it upon himself to buy me medicine or something else to fix it. I could bring up Hiko, but again, Soujiro might follow me home to "support" me, especially since that would look extra nice to the rest of the group. Fuck. How can I wiggle myself out of this trap? Especially without anyone else's suspicions over what has happened between Soujiro and I?

Especially with what happened the other night..

"Huh, nghh.." I groan into my hand, feeling the bile rising up and down inside my stomach. Okay, Kenshin, just calm the hell down. It's going to be okay. You got this. So what if Soujiro did that disgusting thing to you? Who would your friends believe in the end? You, the guy who's been in their lives for over a decade now.. or Soujiro, who they only met last week? You, who has lots of redeeming qualities and have helped them out of some very shitty situations before.. or Soujiro, who's got more money than God and can buy them anything they want? Anything their hearts desired? Anything at all? My hand slowly lowers itself from my mouth and I frown to myself at those thoughts. Of course. Of course they wouldn't want to lose Soujiro. Not when the money like this is so damn good and hard to resist. And even if they would rather die than lose me too, it's not like they'll choose me over him, or even make a choice at all. There will definitely be a lot of chaos in the group because of that quagmire.

Fuck.

Fuck!

What do I do?

The bathroom door opens and closes, and a set of footsteps echoing throughout the entire room is heard. I grip the sides of the porcelain sink and looking down at myself meanwhile, not bothering to check who it is. But then, I hear that person talking, and my brain instantly recognizes (and recoil) as to whom it belongs to, "You alright there, Kenshin?"

I shut my eyes painfully, gulping, "Yes."

"Are you sick? Should I get you something.." I can feel Soujiro's hand almost touching my forehead, but I instantly react just in time to deflect it with my arm.

"Don't touch me." I whisper vehemently, shooting arrows at him with my eyes, "Don't you ever, touch me again!"

"Please calm down." Soujiro takes a careful step towards me despite my outburst, "I just want to help you."

"You wanna fucking help me? How about you literally just do what I ask you to, and don't," I shove him violently to the wall behind him as he nearly sobbed from the surprising force, "TOUCH ME!"

He pants, his expression on his face a wild mixture of shock and anger, as well as disappointment. Disappointed with how today is already going downhill, disappointed that I won't get over what happened last night, and more importantly.. disappointed in my behaviors. Well, good. I wasn't looking to get on his good graces in the first place, anyway. Take your gold star and shove it. Maybe this hair-raising eruption from me should serve him as a good warning of what else I am capable of in the future if he doesn't respect my boundaries. Because heaven knows he's crossed one too many lines with me as of late, and I will no longer stand for it. I take my leave, him watching me intently, angry wet blue eyes tinting his eyelashes with his tears.

I don't have to take this shit.

"I have to go." I hugged a surprised Kaoru, "I'm sorry."

"Kenshin?" She blinks at me, touching my face with her gentle hands, "Is something wrong?"

"What happened?" Misao joins in and takes my shoulder in her hand to rub it.

"It's nothing, it's.. It's Hiko. He just texted me and I think he needs my help. He's drunk again."

"Oh, Kenshin.." Kaoru's eyes seem to waver with tears.

"Well, maybe you can hail a taxi, cause the bus won't be back for another hour." Misao checks the time on her wrist watch, "Otherwise, maybe Aoshi can pick you up with his motorcycle."

"No.. I think the taxi is better." I smile at their kind dispositions, "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Kenshin," Kaoru hugs me again, "Text me when you get home, okay? Especially if you need help, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"The same goes for me, too!" Misao nods with a beam.

You see what I mean?

I refuse to let my friendships go. Not for anything.

Especially for him.

I talk to the front desk receptionist to ask for a cab ride home. She calls on her telephone for the taxi number, me looking over my shoulder meanwhile. Nobody is coming after me. I guess the girls told the guys to just let me be since it's about Hiko. The receptionist then smiles and asks me to take a seat to wait for the ride. I looked through my phone meanwhile, since I haven't even gotten any chance today to do so. From last night's party, I've received dozens of texts and missed calls from Sano and Yahiko, and a Facebook message from Kaoru asking me where did I go. I guess Megumi and Misao were too busy sucking face to even bother. It's alright, though. What's surprising, though, is that from last night to even this morning.. I haven't received one thing from Soujiro himself. It was like as long as he got a taste of my junk, that he wouldn't have cared if I ended up in some ditch somewhere. I know I shouldn't care, but..

It kinda stings. And I don't know why.

"Dad!" I rush into the kitchen where it seemed that Hiko hasn't left the room since this morning.

He looks up from reading the newspapers with a surprise, "Shinta?"

"Dad.." I give myself a few seconds to find my breath again, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come bashing in here. I just need you to do me a favor."

"Sure?"

"Don't open the door to anyone. Especially if it's my friends."

He gawks at me for a few seconds, ".. Um, sure? Why are you hiding from them, Kenshin?"

"It's nothing."

"Hey, that's bullshit," Hiko gets up from his chair, pushing it back while the stems screech against the floor, "I know something weird must've happened because I know you would do anything to stay out late with your friends. Especially on a Saturday."

I lost it.

"Dad, listen!" I shriek and feeling the heat on my face, "I just need you to trust me on this, alright! That's it!"

We glare at one another, time standing still. He carefully sits back down with a slump, not bothering to understand what the hell his son is talking about. I don't care. At this point, I just want to be alone. I enter my bedroom and lock the door behind me, and that's when I feel my phone vibrating wildly in my jean pocket. I fish it out, several different messages rushing towards the center of the screen like bats flying out of hell. One is a text message from Sanosuke.

hey kenshin u okay?! :( kaoru just told me about hiko, do u need me to come over?

And another text from Yahiko.

DUDE WHAT HAPPENED

And another from Megumi.

Honey, you alright? hmu if you want me to get you some food for dinner tonight, alright? xx

My stomach drops. I found another text, and it's from Soujiro.

...

Holy shit.

You have got to be the worst person I've ever met. Who do you think you are, pushing people like that? I think you're sick! You're exactly as the stereotype people want to portray you as: A violent, low class, no good THUG. And to think I wasted my time helping you with your homework. Are you stupid or do you enjoy looking dumb in front of your teachers? Whatever. I don't give a shit about you anymore. I already got what I wanted from you and don't you dare even THINK about showing this message to your friends. Remember who has the money, remember who has the connections? Me. Not you. Me. And when the push comes to shove, even your friends will pick me over you. Trash.

I breathe out, stunned. Wow. Such ugly little words from such a beautiful face. Once I got over my shock over this nasty message, I shake my head at his foolishness and shut my phone off for today. It's only three in the afternoon, so I think I'll practice on my guitar until dinner time. I suddenly feel inspired to conspire a song out of this chaos. Putting my phone on the charger, I pick up my acoustic guitar simply from the corner of my bed. I got on said bed and started tuning up the old thing, strumming some light notes as I do so to see if it's working correctly. Once I seem satisfied, I started playing melodies that meant nothing to me but it could have still made someone else happy if they could hear it. I'm glad I got out of the zoo before it got too heated. I don't think the guys would appreciate me raining on their parade with my usual whistle blowing antics. Even if I do have my heart in the right place. They just wanted to have a good time, and I left them to go have it. Just, not with that little prick there trying to rile me up every five seconds.

"Nothing but a violent, low class, no good thug.." I mutter, "A thug is what you are."

I'm not bothered by his text message. I just wonder how much truth there is in that entire wall of words that were expressed so passionately. It's enough to make one wonder, isn't it? But it definitely makes me happy to know exactly where I stand with him. He used me. He used me for my friends, he used me to protect him from other violent thugs like Shishio, and he used me to get himself off. Like I'm some kind of cheap whore, or something. I grimace, groaning in mild disgust. That boy has to be insane if he thinks he can get away with this. He's got the entire set going for him because of his wealth and good appearances. But I have an eye for unwavering truth to penetrate all of that and expose the evil for the entire world to see. That's really the only way I'm ever going to defeat him. I have to research and sniff around for more clues. So that's what I'll do.

I blink my thoughts away and check my phone for the time. It's already four-thirty in the afternoon, almost time for dinner. Holy shit. Where did the time go? It doesn't matter. I'm in the mood for takeouts. I wonder what Hiko will be having. Is he still home? I lay my guitar on my side and rush out of my bedroom to head down to the kitchen, like I'm suspecting that he'll still be sitting there unmoved for the entire day. But he's not there. I looked around me frantically, calling out his name a few times, and that's where I find his sticky note on the fridge. Oh god, what now!? I snatch the damn thing off from the refrigerator to read it up close:

A bit of an emergency interview at a new company, don't wait up for me. Order pizza if you must, I already gave you the money, didn't I? Love you.

I crumble up the note in my hands in a fit of anger. Goddammit, Hiko. Tossing it on the floor, I decided that I am too pissed off and way too famished to give this another second thought anymore. Pizza takes time to make around here anyway, so might as well call them early. After using my phone to call the joint, I hang up and decided to text the guys back that everything is fine and that Hiko is sleeping off his drunken stupidity. They all texted back that they are relieved to hear and if I'm still okay with hanging out with them later tonight. I told the group chat that no, I can't. That Hiko might need me for later on when he wakes up. They understood and dropped the subject, going on and on about the zoo meanwhile. I would add random "lol" and "cool" to appear at least semi interested of their day trip. Soujiro is offline in the group chat, so I guess he didn't saw my messages. Good. I did not bothered with replying to his long text message, either. What for, anyway? He'll just use my reply as a weapon against me later on. No need to give in to the fire.

Within a half an hour, the pizza has arrived. It is time for the beast to feast.

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Wake up.

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Please.

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Before I knew it, the weekend was over.

I hid from my friends on Sunday despite their best efforts in finding me. They would call me, text me, send me endless Facebook messages, and even rang my doorbell. But I told Hiko not to open the door, no matter what happens. And even if he accidentally did so, he just told them that I'm really sick from the takeout. I just needed to be alone. Alone in my thoughts, where I thrived best in. Sunday was spent in perfect solitude; playing video games, practicing on my guitar and writing the notes down on a piece of paper, finishing my Art homework, and any other homework that were beckoning me to complete them, and.. researching to high heaven over the blue eyed cheeky devil. Against the nausea I feel in the pit of my stomach, I went searching through his Facebook. His posts, his friends list, his photo timeline, everything. And the worst part, is that everything checks out as harmless. I bet that any negative comments from a "hater" has been moderated and deleted before it hits, which is the neat part of installing Fuckbook anyway. The truth just isn't trendy these days, don't you know?

There has to be maybe a comment that hasn't been deleted yet. Something that suggests criminality. There's hundreds of comments on his profile.. this could take a while. That's fine by me. I spent the majority of that Sunday combing through every single comments of his statuses, pictures, anything. I did find a couple of clues, even if it seems subtle from the surface. The first clue was a comment under his earlier photos, like when he was fifteen or sixteen years old and before he moved here. The comment was for a picture of him hanging out with a guy and a girl his age in an ice cream shop:

Wow. So that's where you were? Can you please call me for once?

It's from another girl. Maybe an ex-girlfriend? That's good. I clicked on her profile and it seemed normal enough, really just your typical rich girl who's got everything on a silver platter. Just like Soujiro. I'm guessing they both went to the same rich private school together and went on some dates. I looked through her albums, trying to compare the dates of Soujiro's ice cream shop photo and her comment under that. I found them! Photos of them going out on dates. Very innocent looking dates, mind you. Jesus Christ, did they really fucked while wearing such demure clothing? It's like they're from decades ago when the thought of kissing your partner before marriage would be abhorrent. I rolled my eyes but kept looking through the comments meanwhile. Nothing stuck out. That's fine. I think I'll send her a Facebook message.

Luckily for me, she's that much of an attention whore that she left her profile public enough so that just about anybody could message her.

Hi there. You don't know me, but I understand you had a relationship with Soujiro Seta, is that right? I want to maybe have a conversation with you about him if that's okay. He's been acting very strangely since he transferred to my school, and was wondering if you knew why. Thank you and I hope I'm not being a bother.

Thank you, proper etiquette.

She appears offline, but that's okay. Always time for a response. Combing through more comments, the second one that stood out was from his own father. It was under Soujiro's childhood photo where he sits in a big round table and has cake and frosting all over his face. Typical adorable childhood picture. I think it was for his fourth birthday. His father wrote the following: There goes my baby boy. You used to be a bit of a porker, but you leaned out nicely during puberty. Thank goodness for that, huh?

I frown deeply at that comment. Well that was just fucking weird.. I shake my head, trying to get a hold of myself. Okay, bit of a strange comment, but that's fine. I looked throughout his father's profile, where it looked totally official and completely serious. Lots of photos of highly private and glamorous events that only the richest could afford to attend to. Statues containing information about his company and events. And of course, lots of robotic comments from his colleagues. Good job, man, you're so important and stuff, hurr durr. Nothing really stood out, except for the fact that he really doesn't have any photos of his late wife or even his own son. No pictures of family homes, or vacations, or anything. It just felt.. cold and devoid of anything meaningful. Crap, even Hiko would have posted more mushy pictures of us together than Soujiro's dad has done. Maybe he's just that type of guy. A really serious and non-cuddly type of dad. I wonder if my blood father was the same, on some level.

I've looked around some more, but started to feel tired, so I'll do this during the rest of this week. That night, Hiko and I had dinner together, and it went really well. We had some talks, and some laughter, and he wondered if maybe we should watch a movie together. I usually would've rejected such an idea in the first place, but.. I don't know what it is, but after everything that's happened, I find myself having a renewed sense of patience towards him. I agreed to it, and we watched something action oriented. He kept making me laugh with his interjected comments about how much the actors sucked in it. That was fun. I took a nice evening shower before heading to bed. I really hope that ex-girlfriend would get back to me soon. I'm suddenly reminded of my prior relationship several months ago: Yukishiro Tomoe.

It was almost an unlikely romance. Tomoe and I met when we were just twelve years old. We were friends, she and I, even though she came from a family just a little richer than my step-father. We were friends because we just seemed to understand one another without too many words. It was really eerie. I wonder if she was not of this world, if she had come from another dimension entirely. She's really intelligent, though you wouldn't know it just by looking at her. She didn't talked much, but she did read. A lot. I had taken a love of reading because of her. She was there for me when Hiko started drinking a lot, and she never judged me for my anger towards him. Her father died because of alcoholism, so she knew what it was like. When we turned sixteen, something came over me, and I kissed her under the summer moonlight. We dated for a year until she had to move away, and we couldn't do the long distance, so we broke up. It was amicable, but very bittersweet. Because she was a girl of such few words, and a long distance relationship required so much contact.. Well, you get the idea.

I miss her sometimes.

...

The week after what happened at the zoo was filled with tension between Soujiro and I. He must've exchanged some emails with the teachers, because now, he sits all the way in the front in all of our shared classes. As far away from me as possible. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. He made it a point to leave class first, and I made it a point to wait a minute before I would leave also, in order to keep the distance between us. Around mutual friends, we acted normal, but there was still a wall up to keep the other far away. We must be great actors, because our friends didn't really noticed much of a difference. There's not much to compare it to.. I've never been close or super nice towards Soujiro since day one, so the contrast wasn't as severe. He no longer talks or messages me about study hall, so I don't go to study hall. Instead, I use that period to have a smoking break out somewhere away from the school building, sketching for Art class every once in a while.

All of my homework were returned on time, and I am caught up with all of my classes. I tried to pay attention as much as my mind will allow to listen to the dribble of our teachers. Some classes are harder than others because of this. Soujiro's wrong about me. I'm not dumb.. I just don't have the patience for the unnecessary. And my teachers and their inane bullshit really are unnecessary. I really like classes like Philosophy because then we can think more, and talk less. And if there was more talking than usual, they weren't filled with empty fluff. Sometimes my eyes would stare absentmindedly at the back of Soujiro's eyes, just wondering what his next move is going to be. If he even makes another move, at that. He sounded pretty serious about ditching me in the text, and he doesn't even look at me in the eyes anymore, either. Oh well. Good fucking riddance. I'm glad I got rid of your crazy ass.

Days came and went. I hung out with Sanosuke and Yahiko, and Misao and Aoshi sometimes whenever they would hook up at her place. Anytime they suggest we go see Soujiro, that's when I pull out my list of excuses to leave early: I still feel sick, I think Hiko's drunk again, I have to study because I still feel behind on my work. They brought it all without question. Maybe they're having a lot of fun with Soujiro while I'm not around. Ignoring that prick inside my chest, I continue reading my homework on my desk back home, wanting to prove everyone wrong about me. I'm not a thug. I'm not some low class criminal. I can put something important into the world if I choose to. Soujiro's wrong about me. It just has to be untrue.

On Wednesday, three days after I sent that Facebook message to that girl.. I finally have a response.

Yeah hi, who are you? Well, I haven't really spoken to Soujiro in quite a long time, so I do wonder what in the world happened to him. I heard he got pulled out of our school from his dad because something kinda big happened... but like, nothing was really explained, so we were all just puzzled af lmao. I think he got really weird during the last bit of last year before he transferred to your school, but what do I know. Is he still crazy? Spill the deets, I so want the juicy details LOL!

Yeah, he is still fucking crazy. Have you heard anything at all about the rumors?

Not much, like I said, it was just really mysterious. But he did started like, bugging out and was acting out even during class. Would talk back at the teachers and it was wiiiiild. He was never like that before. So his dad pulled him out, and I guess transfered him to ur school?

Yeah. He's getting better with the teachers, I think. Does all the work and shuts up.

That's good, i wish i could help more but i just would have to talk to our old mutual friends to get more details you kno? but let's add each other, ok?

Sure. I g2g.

Okay, this is good. So I'm really not crazy and there really is something up with that guy. He was crazy in his last school? Fan-fucking-tastic. This is great news. It means I was right all along. As long as I'm patient and keep doing my own research on the side, me and this chick will pull the hood off of the liar in no time. I slept like a baby that night, and Thursday came and went as swiftly as one would expect. Soujiro and I still avoid each other, and we still act like nothing's wrong during lunch periods at school. We just don't make it a point to talk to each other anymore. And that's fine by me. More than just fine. This is heaven.

But heaven is a lie.

Friday afternoon fades in with a perfectly blue sky, perfect for the gym teacher to haul all of us outside for once. It was surprisingly very warm for autumn, but we didn't complained. I actually enjoy running around outside, since it relieves some of the stress inside. Today is the day for high jumping, and we all formed a neat line so that we each get a turn. I was all the way in the back, not wanting to be one of the first ones, of course. The only thing that's bothering me is that I haven't seen Soujiro in the changing room or even out here. Where is he? I guess he's late. Must be a first for a high achiever such as himself. It's cool, I don't care. Why should I?

The teacher blows his whistle, "Ichito, go! Himura, will you please look for Seta? He hasn't shown up but I think he might still be changing. Tell him to hurry up or I'll mark him as absent!"

I sigh, turning around to walk back inside the gymnasium to reach the locker room door. And just as I expected, it's locked. Ugh. Where the hell am I supposed to look? I sneer and turned back around, when I hear something turning. I look over my shoulder in time to see the door opening to reveal a gym-ready Soujiro, complete in a crisp white cotton shirt and black shorts. We looked at one another in surprise, but I guess I really have no choice but to tell him why I bothered to come looking for him. Don't want his insane ass go around thinking I've returned to him to apologize or some shit.

"Teacher was looking for you. You better hurry up or you'll get a zero for the day." I explained with hardened eyes, turning back around to walk away, when I felt his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"Wait. Kenshin. I.." I look back again to see his eyes trailing down with guilt, "I'm sorry. For that horrible text message. I take it back, every single word of it."

I simply roll my shoulder away from his touch, "It's fine, let's just go."

"Wait a second. There's something I have to show you."

I scoff, "Nice try, but after what you did at your party, I don't think I could ever trust you alone with me ever again."

"It won't be like that. Trust me. It's about my previous school. You must be curious about that.. aren't you?"

What?

There's just no way..

It can't be..

It's impossible..

Does he know about me and his ex-girlfriend?

I whip back around in shock, "How did you..?!"

"I'm sorry? I mean," He frowns, "I thought you wanted to learn more about me. But we need to go some place private. Do you know a place?"

Oh. Thank fuck. I thought he somehow.. knew.

"The PE shed outside the corner is fine," I grumble as I walk on, hearing Soujiro following me behind. My heart better calm the fuck down, or else. We head out of the double doors out from the gymnasium where, up ahead, is our group still doing the high jump. We turn to the right to go inside the PE shed where they keep all of the extra gym equipment. I go in first, and that's when I hear a loud bang of the door shutting behind me. I flip around, "What the fu―!"

Soujiro grabs my face to start kissing me feverishly, despite my best efforts in trying to get away from him. But with that sweet, delicate feeling of his wet tongue wrestling with my own, I couldn't fight back anymore. I hate to admit this so much. I'd rather kill myself than to admit it. But fucking damn, I miss his mouth. I missed it during all of this time when we tried so hard to stray from each other. It was like the longer we were absent from one another, the greater the pleasure it would feel when we came back together. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. I hate myself for slowly returning the kiss, remembering the dream I had of him and those floating corpses. How delicious his mouth felt there and here right now. Everything about Soujiro is damn near perfect.

He breaks the long passionate kiss finally, whispering against my lips, "I missed you. So much."

I grunt, not knowing what to say.

He smiles never the less, "It's okay, Kenshin. I know you want the information. I know. And I will give it to you, if you could agree to one thing."

I pause, not liking where this is going. I don't do deals. But I know I must have the information that is so important to my investigation. I frown into his eyes, "What is it?"

He smirks, a clouding lust overcoming his gaze before he slowly leans in for a deep kiss. It took me by surprise and I moaned shakily while he french kisses me. I should know better, but I took him into my arms anyway, guiding the kiss this time. My fist curled into the back of his head to dominate him. And he lets me, letting me lead this dance of sin. Intensely focused in the kiss, I hadn't realized that we were both slumped on the floor until Soujiro breaks the kiss and starts messing with my gym shorts. I start to pant, feeling the tightening heat in my pants, desperate for more of what he did to me at the party. I can't believe he has this power and hold over me. How does this guy do it?

Should I even care?

With my hard cock in his hand, he bores his gaze deep inside my eyes, the sunlight peeking through the shutters reaching out towards him like long white fingers. He looks ethereal. I could hardly breathe, seeing his rare beauty so up close. He still hasn't told me what the deal was, but he wastes no time in leaning down to suck on the head of my sex. I bite my fist, quieting myself. The groan still erupts under my throat anyway. He sits back and starts pumping, the saliva serving as an adequate lubricant for a much better experience. My breath picks up the pace, and my face feels flushed. In between the pumps, he starts making these sounds of a sexual nature, almost as if showing me what it'd be like to fuck him for real. His eyelashes flicker across his cheeks, sculpted to a feline perfection. His mouth opens, sighing sensually, whispering, "Right there, yes, oh god.." to me. The light from the outside makes his pale skin glow to a marble finish.

It's all too much.

I flinch, ready to cum, and he quickly goes down on me again to swallow my hot seed. I cry out in pleasure, feeling his tongue swirling and guiding my cum down his throat. How long has it been since we started? It felt like forever, but it couldn't have lasted more than a few minutes, not when he was making those hot sounds and faces like he was receiving my cock inside of him. With the last drop coming out of me, a shiver washes over me, and I am exhausted. He sits back up, cradling the sides of my face with his hands that feels too soft to belong to a man. My eyes open with a sleepy flicker, and I see him smiling.

"I'll give you all the information. All I want is for us to have sex with each other." He giggles at my stupefied expression, "I mean it. No commitment. No relationship. Just you fucking me, and me sucking you off anytime you want. Nobody has to know. Nobody. It's just a world where only we exist to each other. It'll be fun.. How about it?"

He kisses me before I could even answer, perhaps because he sees the flash of uncertainty in my eyes. So, he kisses me, in a way to remind me of just how good he could make me feel. We sit that way for a minute, and then he leans back, just a hair away from kissing me again.

I guess I am a fucking idiot.

"Sure. I.. I'd like that."

He smiles wider, a sinister thought flashing in his eyes.

"Perfect. Let's meet up at my mansion after school."

He kisses me again.

"You're finally mine.. Kenshin Himura."