Author's note: Hello everyone! Here with another Friday update! This one will be a little shorter than the last one, so I hope you guys don't mind. Actually, I think its best that I combine short updates (5k word chapters) with long ones (10k+ word chapters) so that I don't have to feel pressured in writing novels every single week, lmao. I think it's more realistic and easier to manage that way, you know?

Without further ado, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

"Whispered something in your ear,
It was a perverted thing to say,
But I said it anyway,
Made you smile and look away."

- Cigarettes After Sex

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I think the bond between Soujiro and I has finally flourished.

"Ohh yeah!" Soujiro breathed as I plunge myself into him from behind. It's Friday afternoon, just after school is over. Soujiro has informed me that his father had to fly out for some emergency meeting in the next city over. His father won't be back until Monday. He said it with that knowing smile on his face and I had to fight with every cell in my body to not suddenly grab him and fuck him in front of the whole class.

I take a nibble of his jawline while I fuck him, "You like that?"

"I love it!"

We're in his magical walk in shower. I'm sitting on that stone seat with the water cascading onto the both of us. Soujiro is sitting on my cock with his back against me, legs spread out further than any girl I've seen in porn. The mere sight alone makes my head swim. The heat of his insides and the water aren't helping, either.

When I helped Soujiro clean himself up in that dark classroom that day, I think he finally realized that maybe he could let down his walls for me. I cleaned his face with water in the school's bathroom and the way he watched me was very.. unusual. But in a good way. I hope he does trust me from now on.

It feels so good to just.. let go. To let go of all of my suspicions. To let go of all of my envy and anger towards him. To let go of the shame of enjoying sex with another boy. To let go of the investigation. To just let things be for once. And I'm enjoying every second I get in talking and spending time with Soujiro.

I even blocked that girl on my Facebook account. Just so I can forget all the shit she said about Soujiro. It's probably not even true.

"I'm cumming..!" Soujiro suddenly jerks and convulses, cumming onto the shower floors. His hole was also convulsing and all that pressure basically sucked the orgasm out of me, biting his shoulder to hide my groan of pleasure.

We sit together like that for a few minutes, catching our breaths in union. The water continues to fall on us in a state of serene silence. After we both manage to calm down, I hug Soujiro and chuckle, "How was it?"

"Just.. great," Soujiro purrs as he rubs his cheek against mines, "Perfect, actually."

"Like you." I rub my cheek against his in response.

"You're such a wuss."

"Only for you."

Nothing's gonna hurt you, Soujiro. As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine. Nothing's gonna take you from my side.

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It's Philosophy class now after the weekend. Many students are either absent or sent to the nurse's office for a special shot to ward off the winter illnesses. Since the majority of the student body have parents who either don't work or don't make enough money for medical insurance, we get our annual shots for free.

So, Soujiro and I are sitting in the back of the class while we all have to watch a documentary about Socrates. The only other ones here besides us are only three others; both of them are snoozing through the film while the other one is taking selfies. The teacher said she had to take a smoking break outside. Soujiro sits in a desk in front of mines and he is scribbling down some notes about the film. Nobody else, including myself, are doing that for the movie. I don't even think the teacher wanted us to do so, anyway. So to see him doing that is kind of funny.

It's been more than ten minutes and the teacher still hasn't returned. I wonder what she's up to. Never the less, I find myself playing with Soujiro's hair on the back of his head with my mechanical pencil out of boredom. This stupid film is boring me to death. I don't mind reading or talking about philosophy, but for some reason, they don't make a great subject for films.

"Cut it out." Soujiro whispers as he waves his hand behind his head to shoo my pencil away.

I chuckle and sigh, folding my arms to rest my chin within the space to rest. God, I can't wait till this day is over. No, who am I kidding? I can't wait for the entire fucking school year to end. Soujiro is still helping me out with the homework and with studying, so I think I'll be okay in terms of graduation. I still don't know what to do after high school ends. It's like asking me what my biggest ultimate goal that would define my entire existence.. and my answer is, I don't fucking know! I'm only eighteen, for fuck's sakes!

And.. does Soujiro really want to study business so that he'll take over the Seta Enterprise? Is that what he really wants? I can't get over the fact that he wants to be a veterinarian. Especially for the stray animals from the streets, he said. I think that career would be perfect for him. Despite his awkwardness, I'm finally realizing just how kind and sensitive he really is deep down.

He's always helping other people, but.. when is he going to help himself?

Suddenly, something catches my eye.

Soujiro has stopped writing and is now just watching the projection screen ahead, and he seems to have his arms crossed casually. One of his hand is just dangling on the side of his chair, and a small smirk tickles my lips. I lean in with one hand to take a gentle hold of it, making Soujiro turn to look over his shoulder at me with a frown. I know what he's thinking. We shouldn't be so careless with our secret relationship. But right now, I don't care about that. And anyway, nobody is even looking at us. I close my eyes and shake my head, as if telling him, don't worry. We're safe. He rolls his eyes and turns back around to look at the movie, promptly ignoring me. I start stroking my thumb on the back of his hand, and I hear him sigh, no doubting rolling his eyes again. But he lets me continue without a struggle.

I then start to rake his fingers softly with my nails, doing this for at least a couple of minutes. Soujiro doesn't respond, eyes still glued to the screen. Alright, we'll see about that. I take one finger and start to circle around the space between his thumb and index finger. He shifts in his seat but doesn't respond anymore than that. I then start to probe the opening with my finger, reminiscent to what I've done with my member in his hole. Soujiro looks over his shoulder again, whispering vehemently, "Do you mind?"

"Mind what?" I ask lustily, dipping my finger into the space, and he cringes with a small wince.

"Kenshin.. not here." He suddenly smiles weakly, catching on to this weird game I'm playing, "They'll catch us."

My eyes flicker over to the other students, completely oblivious to us. The two sleeping students are still asleep, and the other one who was taking selfies is now just fiddling with her phone. I look back towards Soujiro eyes and whisper, "Don't worry. They don't care about us."

He smiles and I start thrusting my finger out of his 'hole' in and out, in and out, repeatedly. He slowly turns back around to look at the movie while I continue to finger him. The teacher still hasn't returned from her smoking break, and I have to wonder what is up with that. Oh well. Maybe she had a little feminine emergency and has to take care of it. I continue on fingering, my other hand holding my chin as I look ahead at the class movie. My finger thrusts a little harder and deeper as each minute ticks by, and after a while, I can hear Soujiro making the softest, quietest moaning sounds on Earth. It's barely audible, and yet.. the hairs on the back of my neck stands up by these mysterious sounds coming from my lover.

In and out, in and out.. How I wish I could have sex with you right now, Soujiro.

His fingers tighten around my own as if he had reached a metaphorical orgasm, and I bite my lower lip. I'm so fucking hard. Soujiro finally looks over his shoulder with that impish little smirk that used to bother me back then, now the sexiest thing on Earth, "I came."

At that moment, the movie ends, and the silence takes over the room.

The teacher walks into the room with a strange expression on her face, but she carries on the class as usual.

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"Arrgh, Soujiro, don't.. mmm!"

It's Wednesday, ninth period class. Gym class. While the teacher and the rest of the class are at the track doing endless laps, Soujiro and I went to that supply shed where he propositioned me for a sexual relationship the first time. And now he's on his knees, sucking on my hard on. The way he deep throats me so easily and does these crazy tricks with his wet tongue around my shaft.. it's unbelievable. I heard that this is why homosexual sex can actually feel better than heterosexual sex sometimes; Soujiro knows what makes him feel good, and he's transferring that intimate knowledge onto me. It makes sense, honestly. Never has a girl done so much for me, and without complaining so much.

".. S-Soujiro, wait.. the teacher is gonna.. ahh, fuck!" I whimper pathetically as Soujiro takes my hand to the back of his head and starts to guide me into letting me face fuck him, all without a gagging sound in the air. How does this kid do it? Maybe he doesn't have any gag reflexes.

He comes out from sucking my dick, "Pwah! Hey, why aren't you cumming yet?"

"Shhh!" I chastise him with a hiss, "Are you fucking crazy? They'll hear us!"

"Who will?"

"THEM!"

He giggles, "Kenshin.. They're not even aware that we're missing in action. They're all out there, trying to beat their own scores at the track and fields. And that teacher totally does nothing but daze off into the distance. I think he's too old and should retire already."

I grunt, "Come on, are you serious? What if they look for us?"

He blinks, turning around over his shoulder to look at the double doors, "You mean that? Those doors lock from the inside, not out. I made sure that it won't let anyone in."

"Tch!" I snort, "If you want to get expelled that badly again.."

Oh shit.

He looks back at me with a smile, his eyes rapidly blinking, "Come again?"

"Uh, nothing!" I fluster, chuckling, "Why don't you continue with what you were doing?"

"Hmm, you're so selfish." He smirks before going back down to suck on me some more, my eyes closing to focus on his mouth instead of.. what I used to know about him and his past.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Right?

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It's Saturday. I'm hanging out with Sanosuke, Yahiko, Aoshi, and Soujiro at none other than Megumi's place. She's got the place for the weekend, and we decided, what better way to celebrate that than sharing Yahiko's new bong? Aoshi didn't wanted to participate, but he sat and watched while drinking a beer as we all take hits and act like total idiots. I can hold my own pretty well whenever I smoke weed, usually just sitting there and enjoy the high peacefully. Yahiko just makes a bunch of perverted stupid jokes like a little kid whenever he gets high which, I'll admit, are pretty funny. Sanosuke just talks about whatever the fuck he saw today or even what he's seeing now, almost like the kush makes the guy trip harder than it should. Megumi just talks about how horny she is when she gets blazed but that's about it.

Soujiro becomes.. a little weird on weed. He gets flirty and starts to compliment my friends, though it seems to go over their heads. Aoshi would keep his eye on Soujiro but wouldn't say anything about his strange behavior.

"Oh, Yahiko, I just.." Soujiro stretches his arms out wide and wraps them around his neck, "I just love how you style your hair every day!"

Yahiko chuckles, "Bro it's.. it's just gel.. fuck."

"Hey, what about me?!" Sanosuke blurts out with a laugh under his breath, his eyes red and wet.

Soujiro winks at him, "You are.. literally the strongest person I've ever seen in my life. Your muscles are so huge, do you know that?"

They all break down into hysterics as I sit there feeling all sorts of strange emotions: I feel awkward, out of place, and left out simultaneously. Not to mention a little fucking jealous over Soujiro pawing at my two best friends like they're pieces of meat. Or are they treating him like a piece of meat? I don't even know anymore.

"I think you should calm your little wanton friend down, Shinta." Aoshi takes a puff of his cigarette, unaffected by Soujiro's antics.

"Aoooooshiiii!" Soujiro mewls as he leans his head against Megumi's bed, "Don't be mad! You should come over here and cuddle with me. I need a man like you in my life."

Aoshi exhales the smoke from the side, "Piss off."

"Soujiro.." I warn him by taking Soujiro's shoulder, "Calm down, will ya?"

"Aw, come on, Kenshin, he's just fooling around." Sanosuke sniggers.

Megumi then walks into the room with a ton of snacks for the impending munchies that will soon overcome us, "Hey bitches."

"Said so by the biggest one of them all." Sanosuke grumbles under his breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that? You want me to kick your ass?" Megumi rolls her eyes as she sits down next to me.

"Soujiro here is maaaad horny. I bet you know how that feels like." Yahiko takes a hit of his glass bong.

Megumi blinks, "Wow, really? Someone ought'a take care of you, Soujiro. Don't you have a girlfriend yet?"

Soujiro giggles, "No, but I am being taken care of, if you know what I mean.."

My face suddenly feels cold and clammy. He wouldn't!

"Wait, what? You're banging someone?" Sanosuke's eyes widen and so did Yahiko's.

Soujiro nods humbly, "Yes. But the name will remain anonymous out of respect of the other person."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me!" Sanosuke throws his arms up exasperatedly.

"Dude, come on!" Yahiko shakes Soujiro's shoulder desperately, "You can tell us anything! We won't laugh, we promise!"

"Is it someone we know?" Megumi chimes in, aggravating me further.

"Is she from your classes?" Aoshi smirks, which felt like a sucker punch to the face.

What the fuck!

"He doesn't want to answer the question, so all of you just shut up!" I shriek, making everyone flinch and shrink back within themselves in shame.

"Hmph," Aoshi stubs his cigarette into the ash tray next to him, "I see your anger issues from childhood hasn't let up, Shinta."

I can feel my face smoldering.

I just.. I can't let anyone know about us..

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"You seemed uptight yesterday. Are you okay now?"

It's Sunday. Soujiro and I told our respective guardians that we are going to the public library to study for this week's tests. Instead, Soujiro and I went to a vast forest several miles away from Kyoto, where most people go to camp out, or to go hiking into the woods. Since it's the middle of October, there really aren't any people around that are interested in freezing to death. So it's really just the two of us for many, many miles all around us. Perfect for the activities that we are interested in doing. No, not hiking. Not fishing. Not camping or singing songs by the fire.

I peel off Soujiro's plaid shirt off of his body before casting it aside to kiss his shoulder from behind him, "Yeah."

"I guess now you understand my feelings a little bit better.." Soujiro sighs pleasurably as I kiss his other shoulder, "And why we can't date each other publicly."

I kiss the back of his neck, "I know. I know that now."

".. But you know.. If only we could.. that would make me," He leans his neck to the side so that I can kiss the skin there, "Really happy, honestly. I'd love to be in a relationship with you if I could."

My heart that used to be so against being tied down to anyone or anything.. the heart that might've cared about Tomoe and Kaoru but couldn't see much of a future with either of them except for the present moment.. now sings a song of pure bliss that Soujiro would love to be with me. To be in an actual, potentially life long relationship with me and only me would be a feat worth having. I embrace Soujiro and I can feel my cheeks hurting from the cold as well as from the big smile on my face, "You're perfect, Soujiro Seta."

Even though we had sex after that.. I can sense a shift of paradigm between us.

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Days rolled by. Weeks rolled by. Soon, it's Halloween, and Soujiro throws yet another big party at his mansion. His father, ever so busy and distant, has left the city for a conference, so Soujiro can have his fill of impulsive teenage recklessness. I think that a lot of adolescents dream of having parents who could leave them be in order to hang out with their friends every day and party every night. But I think deep down, Soujiro feels terribly lonely because of his absent father. Even though Hiko pisses me to high heavens, I would hate to not see him as much as I could. I'd rather see Hiko drunk and in the flesh on the daily, rather than him perfectly normal and healthy but traveling so often that I'd forget what he would even look like. There's things in Soujiro's life that I would never want to have and.. it's just funny, even admitting it to myself.

There really are certain things that money can't buy.

The mansion is decorated to some nice spooky shit that no doubt costs a lot of money; endless streams of lights and animated talking figures of ghosts, ghouls, and witches; sound effects and flashing lights in certain hallways to invoke a sense of doom in the party goers; a creepy music playlist on a laptop somewhere that's booming in the entire household, sprinkled with evil cackles and creepy moaning. Everyone is dressed in costumes, probably for the very last time before they'll grow up and forget about the true meaning of Halloween. It's a little sad when you think about it. You don't know when's the last time you'll feel young until you wake up one morning and have to go to work or to take care of a family. These things scare me to death, more so than any of the decorations that Soujiro's cleaning team has put up.

I'm wearing a black t-shirt with skeletal designs on it, rib cages and hip bones and so on. Along with jeans and sneaker, I look like I hardly give a shit about dressing up. My friends, however, went all out; Megumi is dressed as a sexy bloody nurse, Misao as her own rabbit (but in a sexy attire no less), Kaoru as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, Yahiko as a ninja (wow), and Sanosuke as a blade wielding meat butcher. They must've gotten their costumes from Soujiro's money, I bet, because there's no way they'd have the funds to look that good for Halloween. I think they actually all went to the mall together on the weekend before Halloween, but I bailed because I had to take care of Hiko. Soujiro insisted on picking something up for me, but I declined.

"I can't believe you didn't dress up!" Misao groans as I come out of Soujiro's guest bathroom, "I would've made you look really creepy this year!"

"If I wanted to be creepy, I'd become a religious freak. Or a cop. Otherwise, count me out." I close the bathroom door behind me, "Where's Soujiro?"

She shrugs with pouted lips, and that's when Megumi bounces in, "Heyyyy!"

"Ah, here comes the drunk!" I roll my eyes.

Megumi sticks her tongue out at me, "Nyehhhh! You're no fun. What crawled up your ass and died?"

"Nothing," I sigh, "I just wanted to know where Soujiro went."

"Are you gonna fight with him again?" Megumi giggles.

I open my eyes with a confused frown, "No. We're actually getting along pretty well these days."

If only they knew exactly what I meant.

"Now that you mentioned it," Misao presses a finger on her chin in wonderment, "You guys sure have spent a lot of time together these past few weeks.."

"I think it's great, it's so nice that we can all get along!" Megumi takes a swing of her vodka glass, "Now let's stop acting old and let's party!"

"In a minute, I need to find Soujiro." I walk in between the two girls and walk up the staircase, where many of the party goers are either sitting slumped against the wall, texting someone, or making out with someone else. I ignore them and call out Soujiro's name as much as the thumping music allows me too, which unfortunately is so loud that it drowns me out. I decided to check Soujiro's bedroom, but it's locked. I knocked several times as loud as I possibly can, but no one answers. I whip out my phone to text Soujiro, asking where in the hell is he. When I arrived to this party, it's like it is being hosted by an actual ghost because I haven't seen a hair nor a hide of his ass anywhere. All my other friends and acquaintances are here, but not him.

Where is he?

Suddenly the bedroom door rips open and someone grabs my arm to pull me in, and before I even realize what is going on, the door slams shut with a click. I see Soujiro grinning at me like a fool, dressed up like Sid Vicious. His hair is wild with hair spray or something of that nature, more bedhead than spiky. He is donned in a black studded leather jacket, skinny jeans with a studded belt, authentic punk show button pins and patches, and messed up looking boots. I gape at him in awe, blushing and totally amoured by this version of Soujiro Seta. He looks so cute and so bad ass all at once. How does he do it?

"You like?" Soujiro twirls around for me to get a good look at his outfit before he strikes a pose, "I got this get-up from a flea market."

I snap out of my daze and blink at him, "What? Dude, how?"

"Google?"

"No, I mean.. How did you go to that side of town without getting stabbed?"

"Oh, Kenshin," He shakes his head, laughing, "You're so paranoid."

I glare at him for a few seconds before deciding to let it go, "Never mind that. Where were you?"

"Hiding here, duh," Soujiro turns around to walk towards his bed to sit on the edge of it, "I wanted to see you before I head downstairs to the party. I let Sanosuke know of the copy key that's hidden somewhere on the front porch. He was the first to arrive and even met the cleaning team."

"Oh. I see." I shove my hands in my jean pockets, kicking an imaginary rock away.

"Kenshin?"

"What?"

"Come here."

With just those two words alone, my member starts to stiffen. Oh shit. Is he going to do what I think he's going to do? Feeling what I am feeling right now? There's only one way to find out. I start to walk towards him, smirking all the while. I sit down right next to him on the edge of the bed, and we both just looked at each other, chuckling under our breaths. When the laughter dies down naturally, we bore into each others' eyes for several long seconds. Instinctively, we lean in to start kissing each other, my hand cupping his chin to guide the kiss. He lays his hand on the side of my neck. Tongue meets tongue, our saliva mixed into one concoction of ecstasy. Soujiro moans softly into my mouth as I deepen the kiss, my other hand reaching his hard on to stroke from the outside of his disheveled jeans. Soon, his other hand reaches over to also stroke on my hard on, and we both slowly fall onto the bed completely together.

"Soujiro, wait.." I breathe as I try to end the kiss, though Soujiro keeps sucking on my lower lip, "Wait.. what if someone..?"

He lets go of my lip to whisper, "No one is coming in. The door is locked, the music is super loud, and the walls are totally sound proof. No one is going to interrupt us or catch us in the act. I promise."

"You swear?"

"On my mother's grave."

"Okay, that's going too far." I crinkle my nose and he laughs.

"Okay. Let's continue. Where have we left off?" He leans back in with a smirk, kissing me again, and we resume our make out. There we were, kissing and groping each other like we're just thirteen and just discovered the magic of heavy petting. After a while, the clothes began to peel and fall off, and we were both completely in the nude, Soujiro on top of me and kissing me while I have my arms wrapped around his waist to keep him close. I love how soft and warm he is. I love how smells, how his bangs fall across his beautiful blue eyes. I love how his hard on pressing against mines, making me happy rather than scared. I don't know if I'd ever entertain the thought of sleeping with other men in general. I have always been a ladies man, after all. But Soujiro is my only exception. He's even more lovelier than any girl I've been with.

Maybe that's why I love him. Maybe that's why I'm falling for him. Slowly and then rapidly all at once, like sand running out of its time in an hourglass case. That's why I think, maybe now.. Maybe tonight, maybe right now or later on, I can tell Soujiro about my real feelings. Because even though he tells me he's in love with me, he told me that I am not allowed to love him back. But a lot has changed since then! We've been having such a beautifully intimate relationship thus far, and I don't just mean the sexual intercourse; Soujiro and I actually have fun like real friends do. He tells me about things he would see or read, or things he is afraid of when it comes to his father and the future. He always encourages me whenever I struggle during our studying together, and we share inside jokes like we've been lovers for decades now. It all has to mean something, right? That we can actually have a real relationship together and.. and maybe, come out together? To our friends and family? And even if it doesn't end well, at least we'll have each other, right?

Right.

So that does it.

I've made up my mind.

I'm telling Soujiro tonight.

Now I'm on top of him, kissing the back of his neck and easing my way down, pecking on his spine to his tail bone. Once I reach lower, Soujiro starts to giggle into the folds of his arms, realizing what is happening. What I did to him in that classroom was unforgettable, and I'd like to do it again to him. Soon I am eating him out while he relaxes on the bed, his breathing going into intervals of sounding deeper or erratic the deeper I tongue him.

"Soujiro.. there's.." I blush, wondering if maybe this is the best time for me to confess while I'm chin deep into his ass hole.

"Hm? What was that?" Soujiro looks over his shoulder blade at me, waiting.

I hesitate as I sit up straighter, looking around and biting my lower lip lightly, "I, um.. I have.. I have something I want to tell you.."

Soujiro stares at me, and his eyes looks suddenly somber. He gets on his knees cautiously to sit up straight, turning towards me, "Kenshin. Stop. I know what you're about to say. And my answer is the same as before: You can't love me."

Now I'm getting another sucker punch to the face.

"But why not?" I touch his shoulder, "Why can't you let me love you?"

He smiles bitterly, "I don't want to ruin your life."

"You're not going to ruin my life unless.." I shudder, the thought of it killing me on the inside, "Unless you leave me.."

He sits there quietly, just looking at me with pity, and he finally replies, "I can only have sex with you, Kenshin. But that's it. You agreed to the plan so that you can further your investigations, haven't you?"

"I dropped that stupid investigation!" I shake my head, "I don't want to do that anymore! I'm done with it! I trust you Soujiro, and I..!"

He looks at me with wider eyes, and I look at him back.

Just do it..

"I love you, Soujiro!" I can barely get that last word out before my breath fails me, and I fall into the slope between his neck and shoulder blade, hiding my frustrated tears from him, "I just love you so much!"

".. Kenshin.. I.."

The door starts rapping and we both nearly jump out of our skins, yelping like little chihuahuas.

"W-who's there?" Soujiro calls out.

"Uhhhh.. it's Misao? Where are you guys? We're going to start drinking from the keg if you want to join us!" Her voice could hardly get through the thickness of that bedroom door.

"Who the fuck brought in a keg?" Soujiro asks himself, and I look at him, feeling cold.

Is he.. Is he not going to tell me he loves me back?

What is going on?

"Soujiro..?" I take my hand to touch the side of his face, and he immediately takes that wrist to stop it from touching him.

I feel so sick.

"Don't. Our friends are here. Let's just get dressed and go." His voice sounds octaves lower than what I'm used to, leaving me even colder.

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I don't understand.

Why?

(To be continued)