Author's note:Hey guys! Hope you all had a lovely weekend! So here's another short chappie, it has some yummy sex scenes to quench your thirst for a longer update this upcoming Friday/Saturday. :) I'm sorry that it came sorta late, but no worries, eh? I really love the reviews and it gives me the energy to keep going with the story. Keep em coming!

Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

PS: I'm admitted to a hospital so I can't edit this chapter. It will have errors and I'm sorry.

"Were we too young?
Our heads too strong?
To bear the weight of these lover's eyes?'
Cause I feel numb, beneath your tongue,
Beneath the curse of these lover's eyes."

- Mumford Sons

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Nothing felt real that night.

Soujiro and all of my friends were busy giggling, talking, dancing, and drinking beer after beer to notice that their dear friend Kenshin is just standing there with the weight on his back. Not that they don't care.. Megumi and Kaoru would come by, time after time, to quietly ask me if everything was alright. And I would look at them and I would smile and I would lie to them, and tell them that I was okay. Because there's nothing else to add, now is there? Soujiro made up his mind about me. About all of this. About us. He thinks we should keep this under wraps and to not let it go further than it has to go. Because we have a reputation to uphold. Because he's the good boy from a rich family, and I am a bad boy from a broken home. Despite the contrast, we couldn't be more similar: We have something within ourselves that hurts us to our very cores, and we take care of it by taking care of each other.

By giving each other attention. By fucking each other. By enabling each others' vices.

Am I even good for him?

Is he good for me?

I watch him throughout that entire party as he flirted with the girls, pretending that he is anything but a flaming homosexual. I know who you truly are, you faker. I know what lies you hide behind your smile. You think you can cloak this and sweep things under the rug forever? Is this how you deal with your pain? By taking advantage of those lower than you in social reign, to feel better about the fuckery that is your mother's passing? Your father's absences? The lack of warmth from him and from all the friends you had to pretend to care about in your formative years? What else are you hiding?

My eyes squint, growling, as he turns his head to look at me, his expression confused by my aggressive scowl.

Yes. I'm looking right at you. I'm looking right through you.

He blinks, turning around to avoid me for the rest of the evening.

I too, also avoided him for the rest of the night.

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The next time we saw each other again was homeroom. We kept it strictly business, careful to not appear too moody or cold to one another lest we wanted the suspicion from our friends on us. We didn't want anyone to ask. We just wanted to move on from this. I didn't go to study hall and since Soujiro didn't texted me to ask me where I was, I think he didn't went either. We only spoke to each other when absolutely necessary. It's the same fucking dance we did last time when we were pissed at each other. I hate it but I can't help but keep him at arms' length. I guess he can't help it, too. Because of all the studying tips and tricks I've learned from him, I feel confident in doing my school work and my homework without his help, slowly growing my independence. I wonder if he senses this and feels some sort of pride. Or maybe he hates it because then that would mean that I don't need him like that anymore.

As the weekend inches closer, though, Soujiro's texts would come more often and grow in length, asking me if everything was okay and if I needed more help with my studying. I told him that I'll be okay this weekend with the studying, and then he'll start.. sending me strange things. Very flirty things. Like asking me if I am thinking of anything perverted during class. Or if I think anyone is hot. If I would make a hint that maybe I do find someone attractive, he'd get defensive and ask who. I'd then laugh to myself and text him back to tell him to calm down, that it's only him I find attractive. That would get him quiet until a few hours later, asking me if I'm horny and if I'm down to have sex later. Sometimes I'd tease him and tell him that I'm not in the mood. He'd beg me to reconsider, and I'd laugh and tell him, maybe. That word always riles him up, somehow.

"Maybe." Soujiro mocks me, pulling the hem of my pants down to lick my head generously, "As if you'd reject this."

I hiss in pleasure, biting my tongue and smirking, "You're such a grouchy slut, you know that?"

He sneers at me, "Don't be an ass. I'm sucking your dick for you, y'know."

"Yes.." I close my eyes, my smile fading, "After ignoring me at your party.."

"What?" I open my eyes in time to see his face damn near close to mines, "You're upset about that? You're the one who looked like you wanted to fucking murder me at the party."

"Because," I grunt, careful with my next choice of words, "Because.. I thought that maybe.. that we could―"

"―What? Date? Be each others' little boyfriends? Show each other off to our friends and family and they'd all clap and cheer as if nothing is happening?" He gets closer, his blue eyes almost glowing from the rage, "Bullshit! This is the real world, Kenshin Himura. We can't have everything that we want, and we have to make do with what we can have in the meantime. If my father knows about this, he'll have my head on the wall. And if your stepfather knows about this, he'd drink even more than he does now. And your friends? Your open minded friends who seem chill with everything?"

I look at him, helpless.

"They'll abandon you. Just like my own friends have abandoned me." He smiles but his eyes are not matching with it, making him appear all shades of insane, "You can't trust anyone in this world, Kenshin. They'll turn on you. You have no one to rely except yourself. You shouldn't even rely on me, especially not in the long term. Because sooner or later, Kenshin.."

He kisses me, catching me by surprise.

"Hm!" I moan, kissing him back, desperate to have a taste of him. Of his darkness. Of his own helplessness.

He breaks the kiss, a mere hair away from my lips, and he whispers, "I'll abandon you, too."

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Abandon me?

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The world is becoming colder and colder. Though the trees are still glowing with orange and bright red leaves, many of them are scattering to the ground in greater numbers than before. It's November now and Hiko and I received a box of donations from the local church. This year seems very generous and if I were one to believe in such a God, I'd praise his name over this. We received lots of sweaters and good coats that an upper class family did not wanted, but couldn't return it to the stores. Bless their hearts. Maybe not all rich people are useless and selfish dicks.

"Looking good, Shinta!" Hiko chuckles hoarsely as I walk into the living room, donned in a navy sweater and my own Levi jeans.

"Duuuude, feel how thick this shit feels!" I show my sleeve towards him so that he can reach over to touch it. But I look at him and just see a deadpan expression.

"Stop cursing."

"Sorry!" I cringe and then giggle as he sighs and shakes his head, "Lighten up! I have a feeling this Christmas won't suck so hard this year."

"Oh, I believe you," Hiko gets up from the couch with a grunt from his sore muscles, "Especially since I'll be telling you exactly why your predictions will be correct."

"Huh?" I blink.

He takes a moment, just grinning at me, "Son.. your old man's got himself a job!"

I stared at him. The news didn't even hit me. Did he just said what I think he said?

".. I.. I..!" My eyes widen and so did my smile, and I suddenly tackle him back down to the couch with a hug, "Dad, what the fuck?! Are you serious right now?!"

He is also laughing, ruffling my hair with his hand, "Yes! And I told you already to stop cursing, but yes, I am now officially a part of the employed population."

I beam at him, my embrace softening so that I can look at his face now, "Dad.. where are you working now? Is it a new police department?"

His smile flickers but he quickly hides with by smiling wider, "It's something better than that, son."

I gape at him, ".. Better?"

"Hmmm." He nods, "I'm going to be working in a security branch for a very major company."

"Oh," My brows furrow, "So like.. are you going to be a mall cop or something?"

He bellows out into a loud guffaw, "No! Son.. I'm going to be working with computers and such. I've taken classes in university but never applied it until now. This company is really going to take care of us as a family. Lots of benefits, lots of coverage for the medical bills.. and you don't even want to know about my new salary."

"Tell me!" I urge him with a smile.

He shakes his head, "Tut tut! My lips are sealed. If I told you, you'd never leave this house and be a man."

"Aw, come on!" I embrace him again and he chuckles again at my strange affectionate behavior, "At least tell me which company hired you!"

His laughter dies down before he can reply, "I was hired by the Seta Enterprise. Can you believe it?"

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"Son?"

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"Come on, you son of a bitch, pick up!" I gripe into my phone's receiver, pacing back and forth in my room only seconds after my stepdad told me where he'll be working at. The Seta Enterprise?! What the fucking fuck!? Is this some kind of sick joke? I'm going to give Soujiro a piece of my mind. That or my foot up his ass. He can pick one once I stomp over to his giant mansion and threaten him with a knife. I slump on my bed and feel angrier as each ring enters my ear drum, "If you don't pick up the phone, I swear to God..!"

"Hello?"

"What the fuck did you do with my dad?!" I damn near screamed into the receiver.

"Ugh, stop yelling so much, will ya?" Soujiro chides me, "I made my dad hire your stepdad. My dad needed someone working in security, and based on Hiko's background check, he seemed perfect for the job."

I can feel my face turning into a shade of purple and red, "Background check? Did you also do a background check on ME without my fucking permission?!"

He is quiet for a moment before answering politely, "Of course. How else would I have known where to find you?"

And now my face feels cold, "You.. You didn't.."

"Didn't do what? You want to know the truth? I found you on Facebook around a month before I transferred to your school. I thought you were interesting and I loved the things you wrote on there." I can almost hear his smirk on the other line, knowing he's ripping me apart with his head games, "When I researched your school, I came to actually like the extra curriculum and how the faculty presented themselves, so normal and modest compared to the elite assholes I had to deal with. And I thought you looked really cute in your profile picture.. so.. Of course I had to beg my daddy to move here."

I'm thankful that I'm already sitting down, because otherwise, I would've fell right over, ".. You're a fucking creep, you know that?"

"The fucking creep that you're fucking, now? The fucking creep that gives you the best orgasms you've ever experienced in your life? That fucking creep? I guess I'll take that title with pride, then. I always get what I want in the end. That's what separates people like me from people like you."

That struck a chord in me, and I am left breathless and speechless.

"Kenshin. Don't fuck this up. I am giving you everything you've always wanted. Now all I need is for you to play to my rules like a good little boy. If you can do that and let me have my fun with you.. then I can give you anything you want. Anything you desire. It's all yours for the taking."

"Why me?" I can barely hear my own voice.

"Why?" He laughs softly, without a hint of sarcasm this time, "I don't know. I guess, reading your inner thoughts and monologues on your social media, as well as how you just are in real life.. the way you look.. how you talk.. everything about you drives me crazy. And you know something? I fucking hate it. I hate it because I can't make a life with you even if I wanted to. Not when the entire world knows who your father is. Not when they know who you are, too. I should hate you for doing this to me, and a little part of me does hate you, Kenshin. But the other part of me.. God, I really just love you and you feel so good inside of me. How could I resist you?"

This is the absolute worst fucking time for my dick to get hard, but it did.

"I.." My face is burning with a deep blush, "I.. Soujiro.. can I meet you somewhere?"

I can hear him chuckle on the other line, "Sure."

A half an hour later, Soujiro and I are in his bedroom, me lying on top of him to suck on his hard on while he's beneath me and sucking on my cock. Despite the awkwardness of ramming my dick down his throat, he seems to be coping well never the less. Since it's Saturday, my stepdad wasn't too concerned that I told him that I'll be sleeping over at Sano's house and that I'll be home on Sunday evening. I promised him that he and I can watch an old movie together that evening when I return, and I'm really looking forward to that. Especially now that I know that he's employed and working again.. Hanging out with him doesn't feel so strange or bittersweet anymore. I worry that he is still drinking, and wonder if he would drink while on the job. I guess these are the questions I want to confront him later on when I'm done getting my fix with Soujiro.

"You're always eating me out, it's insane," Soujiro pants and moans as I use my hands and spread his ass cheeks to gain better access in tonguing his hole, "God it feels so good..!"

I eat him out for some time before an idea pops into my head. I roll over and away from Soujiro to get out his black box of perversion, opening its lid and going through its contents. Soujiro sits up and hums confusingly, asking me silently what it is that I'm planning to do. Without answering him verbally, I let the thing that rests in my hand do the talking: In my grasp is a smooth silicone dildo, and Soujiro looks at me with an uneasy chuckle, "What are you planning to do with that thing?"

My eyebrow cocks up and I smirk, "Take a guess."

"Hmm!" Soujiro flinches as I probe his hole with the toy moments later, after a vigorous amount of lube is applied in and around his hole for easier access.

"It's going all the way in.." I lick my bottom lip absent mindedly, my eyes hazing over as the lust takes over me, "I wonder how much you can take in there.."

"S-shut up," Soujiro shivers while I pump the toy in and out of him, "You sound like a pervert."

"Look who's talking," I pant, feeling myself hardening at the sight of the toy going in, inch by pleasurable inch, "Crazy stalker."

Right as the toy goes all the way in, Soujiro jumps just as it hits just the right spot, "Fuck!"

I swallow my saliva, not realizing I was practically drooling over how hot Soujiro looks right now, "Found it."

With his pink pert nipples, slender body and pale skin, Soujiro is the depicted artwork of androgynous beauty. I couldn't help myself but angle myself over him to take one of his nipples to suck on it hungrily, Soujiro mewling and gasping in pleasure meanwhile. He tastes so good. How does a person taste so delicious? I'd swallow him whole if I could. I think I said that once before, but.. I gnaw on his flesh from the middle of his chest, his stomach, and even on his rib cage, making Soujiro twist and moan louder. Meanwhile, I am pumping the toy harder and faster, going in deeper and deeper as much as I dare myself to.

"Kenshin.." I can hear him almost crying, "You're going too deep.. I.."

I lean back to look at his flushed expression, "Oh? Is that right?"

I push the toy in harder, Soujiro's face looking both lustful and paralyzed, his eyes begging me to stop and yet, to go in deeper at the same time, "It's too much. It feels too good.."

If I could just stay inside of him forever..

I'd never want to leave.

"Ha!" Soujiro cries out, "Hm!"

"Tell me about the background checks." I hit his sensitive spot once as a bargaining chip.

He writhes, "The background..?"

I hit it again, making him groan, "The background checks. Especially about me. What else do you know about me?"

"I.. I know where you live..!"

I hit it again, "Oh really? Since when?"

"Kenshin.." He moans helplessly, his eyes now begging me to stop. I simply lick his sensitive nipple, which makes him reply, "Hnng, before I moved out here!"

"So right by the first day you arrive at my school, you knew where I lived. I knew that run in at the convenience store seemed suspicious."

He relaxes his body as I pump gentler this time, his eyes wavering, "I'm sorry."

"Me too." I smile weakly, "But then again.. is it fucked up that I find it flattering at the same time?"

He frowns, confused. I chuckle.

"I think, if I had the same resources as you do.. I'd hunt you down myself." My eyes open and he looks taken back by my new level of lust in them, "Soujiro Seta."

He grunts, not trusting what he's seeing now. I carefully take the toy out of him and position myself in between his thighs, smirking at him as he whimpers behind closed fists, "Himura..?"

I pierce his hole with the tip of my cock and he gasps quietly, his back arching the more I slide in deeper and deeper. Once I'm all the way in, I grasp his chin to make him look at me, and I stare at him for a few moments. His eyes look nervous. And then I whisper darkly, "If you think you have the upper hand in this game.. I feel sorry for you. You think I can't destroy you just because I don't have as much money as you?"

I thrust harshly against him, making him cry out in pleasurable pain, "Ugh!"

I smirk, "You're wrong."

I refuse to let you control me.

I watch him as he is shivering from his orgasm as I hit his soft spot with my cock minutes later..

Or worse.. I refuse to let you abandon me.

Life goes on as usual. Between school and hanging out with my friends, doing light chores around the house so that my dad can focus on his job peacefully, and having amazing sex with Soujiro.. I definitely have a busy schedule. But it's great. I actually love this fundamental shift in my life. Before Soujiro, I would drown out my pain with doing frogs with friends or doing something reckless. That or get into legal trouble with the police. It was a full ache type of emptiness.

But now with Soujiro in my life, pushing me with school and letting me enjoy my sexuality with someone so unexpected.. I can feel the dull aches fading away. I can actually feel happiness when I wake up in the morning.

So maybe we can't date each other. Maybe this is as good as it's going to get. And maybe that's not a bad thing.. maybe that's how the world is supposed to work. He got me some nice stuff, he's making my friends really happy, and on top of that? My dad has a fucking job after years of drinking and unemployment. And all I have to do is keep our affair a hush-hush. That should be easy for me to do, right?

Our friends seem to notice us getting closer, and they seem really satisfied with it. I'm getting better grades in my classes, which both shock and relieve my teachers. My dad is trying to wean off of drinking, and thanks to the insurance coverage, he can do outpatient treatments and therapy for alcoholism. Life is fucking awesome.

And it's not like all we do is fuck. Whenever Soujiro tries to get inside my pants, I just steer him into doing something else with me instead. Like going down to the local bowling arenas. Or an arcade to play Dance Dance Revolution together. Or even just chill somewhere and just talk, like any normal pals do.

It's a Thursday afternoon after school, and me and Soujiro are hanging out at a courtyard that belongs to a big university. We pretended that we were students of this place, and if anyone stops and asks us who we were, we had our made up names and choice of majors ready in our arsenal. The look on the campus police or a senior student was just priceless, and we would chuckle together after they left us alone.

"Did you see that guy's face? He looks so fucking retarded." Soujiro hides his face and continues to laugh harder, and I follow along.

"Vat mayjer are yew studyin? Is he German or something?" I laugh, "That accent!"

"I had fun in Germany but learning the language was such a dud," Soujiro sighs, taking a drag of his cigarette before passing it to me as if we were toking up, "I'm glad I got out of there."

"I think it's pretty cool that you studied there for a year, though," I exhale the smoke, "Did you fucked anyone there?"

"A lady never kiss and tells." He winks at me and I roll my eyes.

"Figures."

"But you know," Soujiro smiles at the sight of the huge university buildings, "Looking at all of this makes me so excited about the future. And now that you're becoming a straight-A student like me.. you can go to pretty much any school you like. Can you believe it?"

I sit beside him, watching him, ".. I want to go to the same school as you, Soujiro."

"Hm?" He blinks at me, but then giggles, "Don't be ridiculous! When the senior year is over and you got everything you want from me, you can chase after your own dreams. And with Hiko working and taking care of himself better.. now you can focus on yourself and no one else."

I look at him intently, "I still want to go to the same place as you do."

He sighs, "Himura.. the school I am planning to go, is way above your budget. Even if your grades would impress them and you'll get the scholarship grants, you'll still have to face insurmountable amount of student bills for the rest of your life. If you ever have kids, those poor kids would have to pay for it.. hell, your fucking grand kids would have to pay for it too, long after you're dead."

"You don't have yo be so fucking patronizing." I stand up from the bench and glare at him, "Maybe I just like being around you. But on second thought, maybe you're right, I shouldn't follow around such a piece of shit who looks down on everyone."

He looks at me boredly, "Kinda like the same thing you're doing?"

I instantly kick his shoe that he had dangling before because he had one leg crossed over his other kneecap, and now with both his feet on the ground, he huffs angrily and shoots up from his seat to start smacking me with his hands. I try to grab at his wrists and we struggle for a while, catching the attention of some onlookers.

"Cut it out!" Soujiro screeches and I couldn't help but start laughing at how ridiculous his face looks, and he screams louder, "What the fuck!?"

I laugh even harder, pinning his wrists together behind his back with one hand while the other one grabs his hair from the back of his head. Before he realizes what is happening, I shove my tongue down his throat, kissing him intensely even though he tries his best to fight it. Finally he is able to push me off of him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "What the hell was that?!"

"Calm down." I chuckle casually, crossing my arms in front of my chest, "You're only going to attract more attention in your direction."

As if my mere words pulled open the shower curtain all around him, he looks around with widened eyes at the passing students walking past him, some looking at him and whispering to each other while the others give off an awkward chuckle at his expense. Soujiro's cheeks turns pink and crosses his own arms, his hands grabbing his forearms in a vulnerable state. Seeing that gave my heart a pinch, and I walk towards him to give him a little nudge with my shoe against his ankle, "Come on. Let's go home."

He doesn't answer, but he follows me anyway.

"You're such an ass, you know that?" Soujiro mumbles, but I just wrap an arm around his shoulders anyway, and he lays his head in the crane of my neck, "Jerk."

"Love you too." I smile contently to myself.

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"Winter formal? What are we, twelve?" Megumi smacks her bubble gum.

"Oh, come on, this is so exciting! I can't believe the teachers are even letting us have this at our age!" Kaoru gushes as she reads the flyer on the school announcement bulletin board in the hallway, "We can go shopping and get our hair done and our nails painted..!"

"Look at her go." Misao grins and Megumi giggles in her hand.

"Aw, what the heck?!" Sanosuke leans towards the flyer with a twitching eyebrow, "Don't tell me you girls are going to this stupid dance!"

"Well now, since you're so against it, I think I'll go." Megumi checks out her nails, "Maybe I'll ask that kid out in my chemist class."

Sanosuke turns to her aggressively, "You fucking wouldn't. That weird guy with the glasses? He looks like he takes it up the ass."

Soujiro coughs and I look towards the floor with an uncomfortable grunt.

"What?" Sanosuke turns to us, "It's true! He looks so effeminate!"

"He has a softer type of beauty, unlike some men." Megumi scoffs, making Sanosuke glower under his breath.

"If I go to this dance, will you fellas provide the weed?" Yahiko crosses his arms behind his head casually, and Megumi starts to sneer.

"If that's all you ever do with your life, that's fine by me. Maybe I want to have a sober type of fun every once in a while." For some reason, I can sense a hint of pain in Megumi's voice, but I don't know if I should ask. Megumi always likes to play the tough chick that doesn't need anything or anyone, but I know of her struggles all too well. I think that, deep down, she wants to lean on someone for once, but she couldn't let down her walls even if doing so would make her happier in the end. Kinda like Soujiro, when I think about it.

"Do you think the teachers won't mind if I invite Aoshi to be my date?" Misao coos with stars in her eyes and we all groan in union, "What?"

"We know you guys are going to have like a hundred babies together in the future, but will you please shut up about him?" Megumi smacks her own forehead exasperatedly.

"Who would you guys ask out to the dance?" Yahiko asks all of us and we all take a moment to think about it.

"I guess it's whoever who really likes me would be the one to ask me out, but I'm okay with going by myself." Kaoru answers sweetly as always.

"Give me Aoshi or give me death." Misao sighs.

"I think I'll go with Megumi here since I refuse to let her share spit with that faggot." Sanosuke crosses his arms defensively.

"Like hell I'd go with you!" Megumi spits, "You'd have to give me a grand invitation or you can kiss my ass!"

"I think I'll ask Tsubame out from my literature class." Yahiko scratches his cheek shyly, "She's been texting me a lot lately, anyway.."

"Awwww, that is so cute, Yahiko!" Misao gushes.

"Better be careful with her older sister Tae. I hear she's pretty overprotective of little Tsubame." Sanosuke smile smugly at this piece of information.

"What about you guys?" Kaoru looks right at me and Soujiro, catching us both by surprise.

"I.. I, um," I look at all of their expectant faces, "I guess I'll know when I see that person."

"Same here." Soujiro laughs.

I think we both wanted to say each other's names, but we couldn't. What would our friends say?

"Well, whatever is meant to be, will happen." Sanosuke nods and we all agree. We stand around chatting about other inane bullshit before the bell rings for our lunch period, and we all laugh together as we travel towards the cafeteria. Seeing Soujiro so carefree and happy and so handsome in his black sweater, I wish to the Gods that I could be the one to ask him out. I love everything about him. I think, if he and I can't find any dates, that we'll go together "as friends" and then sneak out of the dance late at night to be together somewhere. It wouldn't hurt to ask him. It's not like I'll ask him to dance with me or to hold my hand or take that stupid school picture together for the yearbook. It'll just be us dudes having fun and maybe drink together from under the tables. Nothing wrong with doing that with Soujiro, right? Right. So that's what I'll do: I'll ask out Soujiro as a friend and he'll have no other choice but to say yes.

It's not like he'll find a girl to go out to the dance with. Or even to be in a relationship with him. He's gay. And he only loves me.

...

Right?

Right.

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Vrr vrr..

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Vrr vrr..

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Vr vrr..

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kenshin, did ya hear?! soujiro just asked out amakusa sayo to the dance! - sanosuke

(read 11:13 PM)