Author's note: Hey everyone, sorry for the late-ish update. My hospitalization was because I was super suicidal due to me stupidly stopping my medication without a doctor's approval. I am never going to do something so unsafe like that again. Afterwards, with therapy and work and all of that, this story had to take a step back so that I can readjust to regular living afterward. I feel like soon everyone will give up on me and this story and.. I wouldn't be surprised. But to anyone who is still holding on despite everything, I just want to say from the bottom of my broken mind, thank you. This update is especially for you.

PS: I fixed the stuff from the previous chapter, though maybe some of the grammar is off and I'll have to tweak it this Friday after I post this new update. So be on the look out for that!

"Tell me pretty lies,
Look me in the face
Tell me that you love me,
Even if it's fake,
'Cause I don't fucking care
at all."

- Blackbear

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What is Soujiro thinking?!

Why is he doing this?

Why is he hurting me like this?

Why is he doing this to me?

To my face?

To us?

When Sanosuke texted me that message, I knew I had to do something. This is not going to fly by me. I had agreed that this sexual relationship will be kept as a secret between the two of us. However, I did not know that it meant I had to share Soujiro with other people. I mean, for fuck's sakes, I was JOKING about having a foursome with those girls back in Hiroshima; there is no way in hell I would let them touch Soujiro while I stand by watching. What with all the disgusting diseases out there people having crawling in their jeans, there's just no way I am going to be okay with Soujiro doing shit with other people. Whether it's done behind my back or to my face, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to have this.

So, I wrote a small urgent handwritten letter to Soujiro, and left it inside his locker. Because he's so stupid enough to give me his locker combination, it was an easy break in for me. In it, I wrote that it's an emergency that cannot be spoken over the phone, by text, or through social media. It has to be done face to face. I asked him in the letter to meet me behind the bleachers at the school's sport and gym field. It's after school and because it's so deep into the autumn season, the skies have already taken a soft orange glow to signify the upcoming evening. I check the time on my phone. 3:47 PM. School ended at 3:00 PM, and I've been pacing back and forth, wondering where the fuck could he be. He hasn't texted me at all today either.. and I snuck that note in his locker before our last class together, so maybe he's just stumped over what to say. I mean, how would one really reply to such an urgent letter with a text message? You just can't.

"Kenshin."

My heart jumps and my stomach falls down all at once, hearing that voice behind me. I turn around, seeing the peach glow of the skies illuminating his entire figure with a astral vibe. His normal brown hair now looks like a strange shade of mahogany, but his pale skin looks as bright and unmistakable as always. He looks so confused, seeing me like this. I could feel myself smiling, but the butterflies in my stomach seem to stroke their fluttering wings against my eye and my lips, causing them to have a nervous flicker. Soujiro looks so good today, it's maddening. How? How can someone look so impeccable without much effort? To be so graceful and handsome and charismatic and funny and so.. so..!

"I got your letter," He takes a few steps forward, the bleachers above him washing over his figure with blocks of light and dark, "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

I stare at him, my face feeling colder and paler. I feel like I shouldn't fuck this up and not be so careless. I should just tell him that I did not know about the ground rules of our set up. That I never would have agreed to have something open with him if it meant he could mess around with other people at the same time. Because even though what we have is technically casual.. it still doesn't mean that I wanted it to be open enough so as to invite other people into it. I thought that only I could have sex with him, and vice versa. That's all. That's all I needed to clarify with him. So why do I feel so fucking scared now? I shouldn't have to be meek just to clear the air with sometimes as simple as a question, right? We're adults now. We can talk about this. If we can fuck each other, I think we should just as easily communicate with each other. Right?

".. Kenshin?" He tilts his head on the side a little, blinking softly, "Is something wrong? Your message sounded so weird, that I got worried. Are you okay? Do you need to talk to me somewhere else instead?"

My eyes starts to lose focus, so I shut them. With a deep breath, I open them again, feeling a slight burn in them as I gape at his angelic figure, "Yes. Yes there is something important I wanted to talk to you about."

He straightens up his head and his brows furrow deeper, taking another step forward, "What is it, Kenshin?"

I love the way he says my name. How warm he feels even when his skin looks as cool and white as marble glass. His smile. His lips. His laughter. His joy. I open my mouth to answer, and then I close it. I couldn't focus on what I am meant to say next when Soujiro is standing so close to me like this. When I saw him in homeroom for the very first time, I thought that he was going to get all the girls with his good looks and boyish charms. But never would his looks capture the usual fleeting heart of mine. Unless.. I wanted to be open and reciprocate. And that last part surprises me the most. I have never really liked anyone strongly enough to want to be in a relationship with them. The closest one to have ever reached that potential, was Tomoe. And that was only because she wasn't like other people around me when I lost my real parents. I sought comfort in her, and thought that that's what is really needed in a relationship.

But I didn't saw just comfort through Soujiro. Through him.. I felt passion. I feel alive just by brushing my lips against his. I feel like I could always be on fire and feel its warmth just by being on his side. I have never felt such wonderful feelings like this before and it makes me as nervous as it does excite me. I don't want this feeling to ever go away. I don't want Soujiro to ever go away, either. I don't want anyone to have him especially. He's mine. He's all mine. I'll make sure he stays mine. No matter what, I'll fight just to have his lips and his mind all to my own amusement. To my own enjoyment. My own. Mine.

"Kenshin.."

"I love you."

His eyes widen and a big brush of wind scatters us by, our hair swimming in the air. That's it. That's what I wanted to say. That was what was grabbing me by the throat at night, aching and itching its way to the tip of my tongue whenever I see that boy around me. I love him. I love him! As if those words were the key to my locket, I smile, my soul flying with the wind behind me. What a wonderful thing to say! I love you, Soujiro Seta! I loved you when you were annoying me, I loved you when you helped me with my homework, I loved you when we first had sex, I loved you at your worst, and I'll always love you as you become your best! I love you so, so much! A prick of tears sting my eyes, and Soujiro looks ahead at me like a deer caught in headlights.

As the vigorous wind begins to die down, I smile and say the words once more, just so he can hear me again, "I love you, Soujiro."

Here it comes. I love you too, Kenshin.

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"We can't."

First arrow through the heart.

A startled, quiet gasp escapes my lips, "..What?"

"I said, we can't. We can't be together, Kenshin. Haven't I already explained this to you?" Soujiro wraps his arms around himself, looking at his shoes dejectedly, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.."

A second arrow.

I start to tremble from where I stand, my stomach dropping even lower than before, "But! But.. But, Soujiro! Soujiro, look at me! I am confessing to you! I told you I love you! I.. I want to be with you! I want to be with you and no one else! I really think I am in love with you! Why else would I want to spend so much time with you?"

He laughs sadly, "Because of the sex?"

I wince at the pain growing inside of me, and I step forward to grab his forearms, "N-No, Soujiro! Soujiro, the sex has nothing to do with this! Even if you stopped having sex with me, I'll still love you all the more for it! I love you.. I love you for who you are.. Soujiro.."

My grasp starts to weaken as I see him laugh even more to himself, as if its the most hilarious show of theatrics that he had ever wasted his time and money on. Soon my hands let go of his forearms and I stare at him, his figure blurring through the hot tears in my eyes. Are my.. Are my feelings not enough for him? Am I not good enough for him, after all? But he told me he loved me! So why.. why can't we just be together? His giggling dies down and he looks up at me, his face a twisted version of pity. I wanted to just let myself fall down, so I did. I drop to my knees, looking at his shoes this time, shattered. A third arrow makes its way to my heart, with a poisoned tip this time.

And yet, with what's left of my strength, a faint smile spreads my lips, "Why?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

My smile doesn't stray and I ask him one more time, "Why?"

"Because my father would send me away. Because you will make your step father drunk and unemployed again. Because your friends will abandon us, and all we'll have is each other. Does that sound reasonable or healthy to you?"

I snap and look ahead at him, "And fucking each other senseless is healthier?!"

He looks taken back at my tone, but he relaxes and nods, "It's all we can really have right now. I'm not an ordinary person, Kenshin. My father moved us here to try and get away from the media. All I've ever known were camera lenses.."

He dry heaves, and I frown, "Camera..?"

He shakes his head, "It's nothing! I just.. I just can't do this, Kenshin. If people knew about what we have done to each other, it'll destroy my father's utopia. Shatter all of our dreams of becoming normal after my mother's death. I won't be able to be like my father and continue our family's legacy.. how could I ever face that man after I just got done being fucked by you?"

The poison runs through my veins and I bite my lower lip, shaking my head, "You're a coward."

He flinches, laughing in strange tones, "Geez, you got me there."

I let my head fall and look at his shoes again. Those nice, fresh pair of shoes that must've cost a fortune. We don't say anything for a while, until finally, I mutter loud enough for him to hear, "Get out."

"We are already out."

My head snaps back up at him and I snarl, "I said get the fuck out of here, you hear me?! Don't you ever come near me again!"

He doesn't even flinch from my outburst, which irks me. He instead drops to his kneecaps just like I am, and he shakes his head at me, "No. No, I'm not going to leave you alone. But we still can't be together, Himura. I don't want to ruin your life."

"You are already ruining my life.." My eye twitches as my face twists into a rage, "Are you stupid?"

"Yes I am," He smiles sadly at me, "Because I know this hurts and I know I can't balance two different lifestyles forever. I hope I can enjoy it with you for as long as I can, though.. isn't that enough for you?"

I stare numbly at him, a single tear rolling down my face. I couldn't help but feel desperate for his love now despite my rage against his plans for me. My hands come up to his forearms again, and he grunts, looking at my hands with concern, "It's not enough, Soujiro. I need you. I love you so much. I want to make you happy. I don't care anymore what people have to think about me. You are so much more important than their opinions. Is it.."

My grasp on his forearms tighten in a loving grip, Soujiro looking into my eyes, "Kenshin.."

"Is it the same with you?" His figure blurs and focuses in interval, my heart unable to keep up with the arrow's poison anymore.

His eyes waver with tears also, and he shuts them, streams falling over his cheeks, and he says the following through gritted teeth, "I can't. I can't, Kenshin. I do nothing but ruin people's live―"

I pull him into a feverish kiss, one of my hands reaching the back of his head to hold him still while our lips are sealed shut together. The poison leaves my body and I feel warm again. Safe, loved, happy, hopeful. His lips are my novocain, though his words sometimes carries morphine. Still, I don't and won't ever shy away from kissing this little devil. This devil of mine, with the face of an angel. Soujiro starts to writhe and pushes my chest away from him, and we stare into each others' eyes. Drinking each other in with just that stare alone. How I would love to swim into the ocean that resides in those two eyes forever.

"I'm.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." He starts to break down sobbing, and the pain in my heart returns. I watch him helplessly as he crumbles before me, worried that soon his tears will turn his flesh into dust, to be flown away with the wind all around us and disappear into the sun.

I grit my teeth, my anger returning. I slowly let go of him, and I watch him as he sniffs and wipes his eyes with his sleeve, and I suddenly say, "Go on home then. Go home to your new beau. I'll be just fine living without you."

Liar. You goddamn liar.

He looks up shakily, his eyes wide with disbelief, ".. Kenshin?"

I struggle to get up and look down at him where I stand, the winds coming back but gentler this time, "You are right. This isn't going to work. Not when you're such a coward that you can't face your own self with honesty. I'm done with you. Goodbye, Soujiro."

You no good liar.

I turn around and am just about to walk away, when I feel hands grabbing my shoulder to jerk me back around to see his tear stricken face, "Kenshin, please! Please.. Please be reasonable! I'm not here to hurt you!"

"Too late." I smile bitterly, trying to turn around to walk away, but am instead forced to look back at him.

"I don't want us to end like this! I'm just.. I'm just so afraid of the damage I'll cause if I were to be with you for real. Why can't you understand my fears? Why can't you.. can't you just.. understand my feelings, Kenshin?"

I shake my head with a pitiful chuckle, "How can I understand your feelings when you don't even understand your own?"

He shivers and looks down defeatedly, trying to think of something to say, ".. I just.. I just thought.. that you didn't wanted me like that."

I close my eyes, the darkness of the poison engulfing my entire being, "Why don't you go back to your daddy and tell him to give you more money to behave like the Godless slut that you are? You said something about cameras.. did you do porn back then, or―"

Slap!

The side of my face sears with the burning sting of Soujiro's hand slapping across it. I look at the the grass, stunned beyond belief. Did Soujiro just smack me in the face? All because I mentioned a camera? Was it porn that triggered him? I slowly straighten up and look down at the now seething blue eyed boy, his face almost purple with emotional scathe. I blink, dumbfounded and at a loss for words. He takes a few steps back, his eyes fill to the brim with venom, "You piece of fucking shit. Don't you ever.. ever mention my father like that again. At least my father is still alive, unlike yours."

I feel sick to my stomach. I don't dare drag this on anymore. I don't want to end up beating up the one person I have had sexual intimacy with countless times before. I turn around and start to quickly walk away, not hearing him say or do nothing until I am well far away from him. The sun is setting and I take the next metro bus ride home.

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What was that?

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It was around four in the afternoon when I came home. Hiko is still at work, probably learning the ropes at the Seta Enterprise. I can't believe it. Hiko, fucking working for the father who birthed the boy that I'm having a secret sexual relationship with. A boy that I'm coming to terms with that I have fallen in love over. A boy that I can never have, because he never can have me. Closing the door behind me to my bedroom, I look down at my messy floor, crest fallen. The skies from my window now looks like a silver storm, the clouds painted on across the atmosphere like bruises found on a victimized body. For some reason, the thought of it makes my stomach twist. I let my book bag slump to the floor lazily, walking over to my bed to just let my body fall into it. My eyes feels so sore from crying in the bus ride home.

I can still feel the phantom sting of that slap from Soujiro on the side of my face that is now cushioned by my cool pillow. I sigh, closing my eyes. I don't want to think about Soujiro anymore. I should think about something else. Anything else, but him. But every time I try, his face always comes back from around the corner. I'll try to think about my friends, but there his face will be in the midst of the crowd. I'll think about Hiko, but when he turns around, Soujiro takes his place, smiling deviously at me. Taunting my inability to move on from him. Even when I think about Tomoe.. Just as I imagine her coming into my room, I blink and that's all it takes for her to disappear and for Soujiro to stand there in front of me instead. Looking down at me, with a muted smile, and eyes filled with love.

I turn to lean my back against the mattress now, looking up at the ceiling above me. I have seen this same ceiling for so many years now, but right now, in this moment.. it doesn't look familiar to me at all. In fact.. Nothing ever felt familiar when Soujiro came into my life. I guess that's why I'm taking all of this so hard. I have never experienced anything or anyone like Soujiro before. I don't trust it and I shouldn't trust it anymore. All it does is hurt me and breaks my heart, doesn't it? Should I even continue to have sex with him? I doubt he'll want me anymore after the cruel things I've said to him today. He looked like he was ready to kill me right there and then. Just because I mentioned his father and a camera. Does the camera represent something horrible to him? What is the connection there?

After a while.. My eyes starts to close and I would go through intervals of sleeping, and then waking up to stare at that same ceiling. Every time I would open my eyes from the short bursts of sleep, the ceilings would change. First it was orange from the sunset. Then it became a very dark grayish lavender, to signify dusk. Now after my last short nap, it's completely black. I blink, unable to recall any of the seemingly dramatic dreams that I've had in those little naps. Were they about Soujiro? The more I try to remember, the more the details began to water and dissipate, until I can no longer recall them as dreams at all. I hear the front door opening and closing, the ring of keys as Hiko closes the lock. I don't move and just lie there, listening to him. I hear his foot steps and the groans of the floor as they carry him wherever he went, the sound of the fridge opening to gather a glass of something non-alcoholic. At least, I hope it is.

I must've went into another sleep cycle, because after a while, my ceiling turned bright from the fan light bulb. I groan, rubbing my eyes. I feel worse than before.

"Shinta? Are you okay?" Hiko steps forward into my room wearily as I gingerly sit up in my bed.

"I'm fine. I slept a lot, though. I think that was a bad idea." I shrug.

Silence.

"I, um," Hiko grunts and I turn to look at him confusingly, "I got ya a little something. I hope you like it, son."

My heart thumps at that last part. I'm his son. And he is my father. Blood or not, we are what we are to each other, and that's beautiful.

"What is it, dad?" I lean my elbows onto my inner thighs, watching him as he takes something behind his back and shows me a brown paper bag covering something, ".. Dear God, I hope that's not beer!"

"You're about this close to getting grounded." Hiko chuckles, and I crack a smile in spite of it.

I sit up straighter and he takes that as an opportunity to properly hand me the present, and I carefully unwrap it to find it's a computer design software. To make art and shit. But on a computer. I stare at the box, amazed. Hiko clears his throat awkwardly and I look at him, smiling ear to ear, "Is this for me?"

"Of course. I still have to get you that.. that, whachamacallit," He snaps his finger, trying to remember, "A drawing pad so that you can draw on your laptop."

I blink, "But.. I don't have a laptop."

"I'm giving you my old one. If you still want it, that is."

I gasp happily, looking down at the software box in my hands, and then I climb out of my bed to give him a big hug, "Thanks, dad!"

He hugs me back, briefly, and then he claps my back with his hand to signify closure. I step back and had to ask, "I'm guessing work is giving you a lot of money already, huh?"

"And I told you that it's a secret! But yes.. I think a lot of good things are going to change around here thanks to my new job," He takes a gander around my room, "Lots of things. Better things."

I sigh contently, "That's good."

"Shinta," Hiko turns back around to face me, "Are you sure you're alright? Your eyes look strange. Have you been crying?"

I grunt. Should I tell him? About me and Soujiro? No. No! I shouldn't. It'll break his heart. How can he stand to look at me after I tell him that I'm having sex with another guy? Instead of a girl? There's no way I'm going to hurt him like this. Hiko.. No.. my father.. deserves nothing but the best from me. Especially with all that he's doing to better his own life. I'm going to just grin and bear it, and lie to him. Lying to people like this feels so beneath me, but I really don't have any other choice.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired from working so hard at school," I place my new gift on my night stand, "Studying really sucks."

Hiko nods, "Yes. Your teachers emailed me about your unusual behavior. You are pulling in better grades out of nowhere and they were wondering what was up. But.. I'm really proud of you, son. I knew you could get yourself to a good school after you graduate, and with this job, I can help you pay for it."

"No!" I shake my head, "I'll do it. It's my responsibility. I want you to take care of yourself after I move out of here. You deserve your own money, and I deserve mine. It's only fair."

"But I want to help."

"I don't need it," I chuckle, albeit sadly, "I'm starting to realize that help always put you in debt to someone else.."

Aw, fuck. There I go.

"Hmm? Is that why you're upset, Kenshin?"

Shit.

"Well?" Hiko crosses his arms.

I hesitate, feeling my cheeks heating up, "I.. Yeah. I guess I am upset about something."

"What is it?"

"It's about a g.. a girl."

"Huh. A girl. You never had any problems with girls before." He chuckles, out of masculine pride or what, I'm not sure. I gulp.

"Yeah. She's been helping me study."

"Well, whoever she is, give her my blessings!"

"Yeah, ha ha.."

"So then.. I suppose you've fallen for this girl, huh son?"

I wince, "Yeah."

"Huh. Typical." He laughs under his breath and sits on the edge of my bed, "Sit down next to me and tell me all about it."

"I'd rather not bore you." I roll my eyes briefly.

"Nonsense."

I sigh, begrudgingly sitting down next to him, "Fine."

"So what's going on?"

"It's exactly what you think. I studied with a girl and my idiotic self got involved with her."

Hiko pauses, "Oh. Um. Did you two—"

"Don't."

He couldn't help but laugh, "Alright, alright. You're right. It's not my business, as long as you're safe about it."

I groan into my hands out of sheer embarrassment, making him laugh even harder. What's with parents getting so much joy out of humiliating you?

"Dad!"

"I'm kidding, son, don't get so gun shy. Now, tell me about this girl. What's her name? She from around here?"

"I don't want to give much details about her. But.. I don't know. For some reason.. even though we've been together, she doesn't want to be my girlfriend."

It really feels weird talking about Soujiro and having to use feminine pronouns.

"Well, why not? Did she tell you?"

I wince inwardly, ".. Well.. yeah."

"And?"

I wince harder, ".. She's kinda rich, dad."

"Oh. How rich are we talking here?"

"Like.. really, really rich. Like living in a large mansion rich."

He whistles, "And she slept with you? Amazing."

"Yeah." I smile a little. Alright, I admit it, I am a little proud of that. Who wouldn't be? How often do you get to bed a billionaire?

"So she didn't want to date you because she's rich and you're not."

I sneer, "No! Well.. yeah. I mean.. she said that it's because we'd ruin each other's lives if we dated each other."

"How?"

"Her dad is protective of her. He has money. Do the math."

"Gotcha," Hiko sighs, "Well son, sooner or later, you will have to go through the trials of love when you're at this age. It's normal to love somebody that you can never have."

"Yeah.." I deflate.

We were quiet for a moment, and then Hiko pipes up, "Well! I don't know about you or this girl, but Kenshin.. for as long as I have known you and raised you, you have always had a girl to tag you along wherever you went. You're a handsome guy and you do have a lot of options. And you're smart, too. And you wear a leather jacket. Any girl would swoon for you."

I chuckle, "Thanks dad. I get it."

"I hope so. I know this hurts now, but as the saying goes, the sun always rises after dark. Or something like that."

"It's always darkest before the dawn?"

"That one, yes."

I sigh, "Maybe you're right. There's lots of girls out there.."

Not as addicting as Soujiro. But..

"You've got options, kid."

I do have options. Yeah. Fuck Soujiro. I think I know what to do from here on out.

"Thanks, dad. I think I know what to do now."

He ruffles my red bed head up with his hand, "I know you do, son. I didn't raise any fool in this house."

I slap his hand away, "Cut it out!"

"Alright, alright, I'll get out of your hair now," He grunts as he gets up from my bed.

I ignore that stupid pun, but I still smile at him warmly, "Thanks, dad."

He only smiles in return, knowing exactly what I meant. He walks out of my room and I look at the time on my phone. It's only 8:00 PM. I idly watch the time for a while, just thinking about what my father said. Of course I'm handsome and easy on the eyes. More than a dozen of different girls have confirmed this, so I know it can't be a lie. So then, why am I so pissed over Soujiro? When, just like Hiko said, I can pretty much have any other person I want? That's right. I have so much options, it's not even a question. I should be able to find a date for the stupid school dance. I'll show up with the date for a little while, and then we can go find a motel room to do some real celebrations. I smirk, cackling. I'm such an ass, I know.

So, who could I contact? I no longer have the phone numbers of those girls from Hiroshima. That would've been quite the threesome, since they seemed so willing and ready. Oh well. Who else could I call or text? I can't do Megumi, since it's as clear as day that Sanosuke has a major crush on her. He tries to hide it, but I know deep down his real intentions with her. I can't take Yahiko's or Aoshi's dates either, since I know they've probably all agreed to just go together anyway. Hmm. I do still have Tomoe's number, but.. Aw, who am I kidding? She lives too far away and there's no way she'd come here just for a stupid dance. I don't want her to look down at me so lowly that I had to reach out to her after all these years of silence just to ask her out for a dance. I think she deserves better than that. Knowing her, I think she'd have a serious steady boyfriend by now, too. A guy who actually has the balls to take care of her and make her happy.

Unlike me.

I sigh, stumped. Who can I contact?

And just like that, a ring tone comes on and I see a new text message.

It's Kaoru.

hi kenshin! :D

hey

xx are you doing anything now? i want to see you. to talk to you about something.

um, not really. i can meet you out somewhere.

:p yay! okay i will come to your street.

it's dark out. i'll come to your street instead.

are you sure?

yeah. girls aren't safe at this time of night.

aww okay. i'll wait for you from my front porch.

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I arrive in Kaoru's neighborhood after walking for several blocks. She really doesn't live too far from me, thankfully. I wonder if her parents know that we're meeting each other? It must be quite important if she needed to talk to me about this face to face. Looking up ahead, I see the faint lights of a front porch turned on, and a female figure standing outside. It's Kaoru. She's wearing her hair in a low pony tail and is donned in a white turtleneck sweater, and simple jeans and house slippers. Even though it's not a special kind of attire.. she still looks like the most prettiest and sweetest girl in school. I walk up the short steps and smile at her, "Hey."

She smiles sheepishly in return, looking down to the side shyly, "Hi."

"What's up?" I walk over to her patio swing bench that I have sat on for so many years of knowing Kaoru, and she stands there, watching me.

"I, um." She answers with a meek whisper, "I just.. I'm wondering.. if you've already.. um."

I cock my eyebrow at her slowly.

"I'm wondering if.. ifyou'vealreadyaskedsomeonetothedance," She squeaks, her face turning red and she turns around to hide her face, "I mean..!"

"Huh? Well, no, I haven't. Why do you ask?"

She stands there quietly, not answering. But all of a sudden, it hit me like a sack of bricks. Holy shit. Is this really happening?

".. Kaoru," I start in carefully, with a gentle tone of voice as I stand up to walk over to her, "Are you going to ask me to the dance?"

She still doesn't turn around, so I carefully place my hand on her shoulder to help her turn around and face me again. There's tears in her eyes, which took me by surprise. I didn't know asking someone to the dance could be so intense for a girl. I genuinely feel so sorry for her. She looks so small.

".. Yes." She finally answers with a whisper.

I smile slowly, looking down at her with both my hands now embracing around her to pull her into a hug, "Okay. Yeah. I'll take you to the dance."

She hugs me back and I can feel the wetness of her tears near my neck, and I'm finally realizing what is happening. I think Kaoru is finally realizing the weight of her feelings towards me and wants to be with me. I'm so happy that she's finally coming around. I'm so happy that she wants to be with me. I never would have guessed that someone like Kaoru could take me so seriously. But I guess.. I guess I was wrong. And for that, I'm relieved.

"Thank you." She whispers, and I hug her tighter.

It's cold outside, after all.

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"No. Fucking. Way."

We're at the junkyard now. I hit the baseball with an old abandoned baseball bat and it banged against a large garbage bag from its never ending pile. As the ball rolls on the ground and towards my feet, I hack and spit right next to it before replying to Yahiko, "Yep."

"I thought you would've done the asking, since.." Sanosuke stops himself mid-sentence and just shrugs, "Honestly, this is a better ending, so whatever."

"Yeah, this is just great! Now we all got dates to the dance." Yahiko grins ear to ear, knowing him that he's thrilled that Tsubame said yes to his face.

"Question is, are we really going to stay at that dance all night like a bunch of dorks?" Sanosuke leans away from an iron fence in order to casually stroll over to the ball.

"No way." I frown, gripping my baseball bat to ready myself.

"So what should we do afterward?" Sanosuke bends on his knees to retreat the ball before standing up again, bouncing said ball with his hand and smiling over his shoulder.

"Let's have an orgy." Yahiko cuts in like the little shit that he is.

"Shut your fucking mouth." Sanosuke threatens between gritted teeth, raising his hand over Yahiko's head as the smaller one winces.

"Why not a bonfire?" I said out of nowhere, catching the other two's attention immediately.

"Dude, that's a great idea!" Yahiko exclaims.

"But how are we gonna get all the wood?" Sanosuke's eyebrow cocks. I stared at him, completely deadpan. He suddenly gets it, "Oh, right! My uncle who chops wood for a living!"

"We can get wood from him?" Yahiko asks.

"Yeah. He sometimes cut a log wrong or too short, so he chucks them away for other things. He said I can take as many as I want if I have a reason to use some." Sanosuke shrugs.

"Then it's settled," My body leans down in a position to prepare for my next hit, "Throw."

Sanosuke does so, and I hit it so hard it flew into the night sky.

All I really had to do was pretend it was Soujiro's face.

(To be continued.)