Author's note: Hey guys, hope you enjoy this update and have a great, safe weekend! I haven't done any editing to this chapter but I will tweak it tomorrow so fix any misspellings and grammar errors. Just to keep you aware.
"Peripheral on the package
Don't care to settle in
Time to feed the monster
I don't need another friend."
- A Perfect Circle
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"I just knew this would fit you!"
I turn around to face the full length mirror set in my father's room, the sleek dark navy suit complimenting the scarlet tones in my hair. I gape at the reflection, my mind trying to fit the pieces of what I'm seeing together to let it sink in. I don't look like myself.. and I mean that in a good way. I look.. so elegant. Suave. The suit Hiko gave me fit me perfectly down to the tiniest stitch. He dons a black necktie over my shoulders before I could react, and I grunt. He nods in the mirror's reflection from behind me, and I gingerly start to tie it around my neck. My eyes, despite this special occasion.. looks so somber and depressing. I haven't slept much ever since I fought with..
I heave a bit, and Hiko is roused in surprise, "Son?"
I sigh, chuckling uneasily, "I'm okay."
"You nervous?"
"A little."
"Ah, don't be, son!" Hiko laughs heartily, "Nothing to be nervous about! It's just a dance."
"With Kaoruchan."
"Aye. She's a very nice girl. I remember her when she was this big." He sets his hand just on my hip line, "How's her parents?"
I bite my lower lip, "They're.. they're okay."
"Oh yeah?"
We stand there quietly. When Hiko was an alcoholic, the word got around far enough to reach Kaoru's parents. When that happened, Kaoru and I had to keep our friendship on the down low. There is much to be ashamed about when you have a parent that drinks all day and all night, after all. I think I felt tension as a young boy whenever I would accidentally bump into Kaoru and her parents outside in public. She'd be all smiles, but her parents never once smiled at me. Because I am the step son of a raging alcoholic, and who would want their young daughter around that? In a way, I am happy that they were so protective of Kaoru. She doesn't deserve to be a part of my fucked up mess of a life. She deserves the entire world. And soon.. when the dance commence, I'm going to show her a really nice time.
She deserves that and way more.
I just hope I have what it takes to provide that.
We stood there for too long, and it's getting awkward. Hiko clears his throat, "Yes, well. I do hope they are doing alright. Anyway."
I gulp dryly, my cheeks reddening, "Yeah.."
"Are you driving yourself to the dance, or will someone pick you up?"
"I think Sano is going to pick all of us up with his father's pickup truck."
Hiko laughs, "Don't be sitting out in the back, you hear? I don't want you flying out and breaking any bones. I've yet to finalize my medical insurance through this new job."
Ugh. He is really going to be a big part of our lives, will he? That son of a bitch. I still can't believe he had his own father hire my dad to work for them. I clench my teeth, "Yeah. I won't."
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kenshin, come over.
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i'm busy
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where are you?
...
i'm just busy. studying.
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can i help?
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hello?
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It's hard to ignore him. But I'm trying. In the day leading up to the dance, Hiko has been trying to teach me how to dance. Which is as every bit as awkward as you can imagine. I keep stepping on his feet, and he would wince and grumble and I could feel the rage welling up inside of me. Mad at myself, not him, for being so clumsy. I don't want to fuck this up for Kaoru. I want to be a good dance. I want to show her a good time. Meanwhile, Sanosuke has been teaching me how to chew tabacco to look cool for the dance. I'm already a smoker, and have been for years, but chewing it just.. it just feels so disgusting to me. Still, I try. Because I want to look bad ass for Kaoru. Yahiko then talks to me about what we should bring in terms of stash; he said he'll get the weed, and I'll get the beer. Although Aoshi said he won't be at the dance with Misao for too long, he is looking for a decent motel to have an after party in. He said he refuses to invite us over for some reason, so fuck it.
Megumi has been posting pictures on her Facebook account about all the shopping she's doing with the girls and Soujiro. Whenever I see his face in between theirs, smiling and laughing and throwing stupid peace signs with their hands, I can't help but feel a strange sort of bitterness in me. Not out of envy like before, but.. just knowing the fight we had, and how happy he seems in these photos.. I don't know. If I look hard enough, I can see a hidden sort of exhaustion and sadness in his blue eyes. But maybe I'm just projecting. Who knows.
I just want this dance to go smoothly.
For her sake.
"I told you to fucking shoot him!" Yahiko blurts out dramatically at the television screen in front of him and Sanosuke. We're at Sano's place, playing on his gaming console. Just your typical average bunch of idiots playing a co-op shooting game. Sano and Yahiko sit side by side on the floor in front of the bed while I'm lying on said bed on my stomach, playing along with them.
"Well you didn't say shit, dumb ass!" Sanosuke snarls at the black haired boy sitting next to him.
"We need to go back to the base and reload our guns," I yawn boredly, "I'm out of ammo."
"Hang on, let me just shoot that fucker first." Sanosuke presses some buttons and the ringing of gun shots is heard from the screen.
"Give me a healing bottle." Yahiko takes a sip of his beer, ironically.
"Done."
"Let's go before we get killed." I remind them and they both nodded in agreement.
We continue playing this game quietly, with some cussing interjecting from time to time, until I hear my phone buzzing in my back jean pocket. I swipe it out and turn on the screen to see a text message. My stomach drops. It's from Soujiro: Do you wanna come to study hall with me on Monday? I know you're busy, but I want to make sure you keep your grades up. Talk soon.
"Who's that?" Sanosuke questions without turning around.
"Nobody. Spam." I place my phone back in my jean pocket, determine to ignore it for the rest of my time here.
Fuck Soujiro.
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It's Monday morning. Only four more days until the dance. The dance will be scheduled for Friday evening, which is a nice start to a long weekend due to a small banking holiday closing everything on Monday. Wonder what I'll do to have fun and relax for three days straight. It's homeroom and all of the gang is here, happily chattering about what fun we'll have on Friday. The bonfire is going to be lit, or so Yahiko says. We told Aoshi about the bonfire and he takes that into his consideration for picking out the perfect motel. We might have to travel a bit far from the city to get to the edge of the more foresty area, but nothing Sano won't bitch about thanks to his big pick up truck. I think we should sleep over in the motel for a few days, but we'll see how that goes. I really don't feel like being too close in proximity to the blue eyed devil, who keeps secretly glancing at my way from time to time.
What the hell do you want from me? You won. You got what you want, and now you have a date. We could have been together, but you don't want that. Now we both have someone else for the dance and you should just leave me alone.
"We got all of our dresses already. I hope you dummies got your suits!" Megumi checks her new set of acrylic nails. I really don't understand why women want to have freakishly long, sharp nails. How would they finger themselves? I smirk, trying to hide the laughter bubbling under my throat.
"I.. will have to get back to you about that," Sano quietly yet quickly said, adding some fake coughs into his fist. Megumi balks at him.
"What the fuck?! You have to be kidding me! We are so ready and you don't even have a suit?!" Megumi damn near screech, which earned a big shh sound from all of us. We really don't need to get suspended before the dance, anyway.
"I have a cheap suit, but I'll be covering that with my hoodie anyway, so," Yahiko shrugs.
"I hope your date likes that." Megumi scoffs, rolling her eyes.
"She's cool." Yahiko grins childishly at her.
"Who needs condoms because my mom got a big ass box for some reason." Misao butts in, which leaves us speechless.
"Why does she have a big b.. never mind. Yes, bring those because we ain't rich enough for birth control." Megumi shrugs.
"Awwwww yeah, orgy time!" Yahiko and Sanosuke high fives each other.
We're totally adults, I swear.
"Gross." Megumi nods, and Misao follows.
"Hey everyone."
We all turn and look up to see Soujiro walking in with a sleepy smile on his face, and Kaoru pipes up, "Soujiro, good morning! You don't.. look so good. Are you okay?"
He laughs, "I'm fine! Really. I've just been up studying."
"Damn, you really don't know when to quit, huh?" Sanosuke bumps his shoulder against his.
"It's not like we have any tests right now, right?" Yahiko's eyebrow shoots up.
Yes! See?! Soujiro's lies can't be up being straight forever!
Soujiro hesitates, but quickly comes back with, "I know! But.. it never hurts to stay ahead of the game. And after winter is over, the finals is just around the corner, right? So, I'm just preventing from doing any damage control later on. Big deal."
"Hm. That's actually pretty smart." Megumi taps her finger against her chin.
"Soujiro, we really need to be a study group. You and Kenshin are hogging up all the smarts!" Misao pouts.
I shrug, "Take him. I don't care. I've been doing great on my own so far thanks to him. You guys ought to learn a thing or two from him."
I look at Soujiro just in time to see him mildly stunned at what I just said. Hell, even I don't know if what I said was a compliment, or a horrible way of abandoning him to my friends to have instead. I don't know if he's ready to give up on being my study buddy just yet.
"Hey, me and Yahiko wanna join too!" Sanosuke pouts too, making him even more dumber than usual. Out of all of us, I think he'd benefit from the studying the most.
"Hell yeah." Yahiko nods.
Soujiro's eyes are swinging wildly around at all of our faces and starts to stammer, "I! I.. um.. I.."
I frown. But before he could finish his sentence, the morning bell rings and the students rush around with finding their usual seats to welcome the teacher for the day.
What the hell was that about?
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The bell rings, and next period is lunch. I'm walking down the hallway, having made my way out of the previous class room as quickly as the teacher allowed us to. Just so I can avoid Soujiro. Even though he sat behind me, I could feel his eyes burning the back of my head. He texted me earlier today asking if I'd like to get lunch outside with him to review some notes, but I ignored it. Before I reach the cafeteria, I look up to see him leaning behind some lockers, his hands in his hoodie pockets. He doesn't seem to dress as well as he usually does. It's a strange sight to behold. I frown with my eyes but I just nod at him, acknowledging his existence without stopping to talk. But you know him. He never lets up easily.
"Everything alright?" He asks quietly, and I stop walking to face him.
"Yeah." I nod, "Are you okay?"
He seems to perk up a little from that caring question of mine, "Yeah. I just wondered if.. if you still needed help with studying."
I shrug with a sheepish smile, "Nah. You did such a great job with that, that I'm doing well in classes all by myself now. I ought to thank you properly, but we can discuss that later."
His smile wavers a bit, and his eyes drop to the floor, ".. How about.. tonight? At my place?"
"Is your father home?"
He grunts, ".. Yes. But, you won't see him. He locks himself in his office all night to oversee stuff for his company. It's hectic work and.. we never interrupt each other."
I shake my head, "Tut tut. No way. I'm not going to risk getting caught."
He looks up with a startled grunt, his eyes widening, "What? But.. we don't.. I mean. We don't have to do anything se.."
We both shut up as a couple of students walk by us, giggling and chatting amongst themselves. No need to get strangers involved within our private affairs, after all. As soon we knew they were too far away from us, I finish Soujiro's sentence for him, "Sex, I know. And to be honest, Soujiro.. you seem much happier with your new date than you are with me. So there's no loss to grieve here, right? I'm a no good son of a bitch, I talked shit about your dad, so what's the problem?"
His eyes waver and he looks weird, like a stunned mental patient, "I don't have a problem with you. You said some mean things, but, I forgive you. Kenshin, I forgive you. I don't want us to stop our affair. And she's just a date to the dance."
I smirk, "Right. Okay."
"I swear!" His voice hits a new high pitch and I flinch, and he realizes what he just did and mumbles, "I'm sorry. I just.. I just miss you."
I don't respond.
His smile wavers again, ".. Kenshin?"
"It's over, Soujiro. I don't want to sleep with you anymore." I turn to walk away, only to have his hand grab my shoulder to jerk me back to facing him again.
"I don't care! I didn't even wanted that with you now. I just.." His breathing hitches, "I just wanted.. to spend time with you again. Like we used to. Without having to take off our clothes. I want.. I want to do that with you again.. even if I do have a date.."
I yank my arm away from his touch, "Are you fucking crazy? You really need to get a grip. I am not gonna go down with you just so you can get your sick fix. Find another male lover and leave me alone."
"So what, we can't be friends anymore?!" He gets in my face and I take a step back.
I place my hands up defensively, "Calm down. You're being too loud."
He grabs my forearms, "Then what?! Why can't you be reasonable!?"
I grab his own forearms and shove him violently at the lockers behind him, "Get off of me!"
I watch as he starts to shake and his face reddening, eyes wet and pink with tears, "I hate you. I hate.."
He starts to break down crying, and I couldn't take it anymore. I bite my lower lip and just walk out that area, just to head to lunch, just to forget what's happening. It's too much. It's all just too much. I can't do this anymore. I can't take Soujiro anymore. I'm glad he has a date to the dance that's not me. I'm glad I have a date that's not him, either. What the fuck was I thinking? Me and him, together? When we're hopelessly terrible to one another like this? We would never have a healthy relationship. It's not in the cards in this lifetime.
I'm doing the right thing.
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Right?
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i miss you so much, kenshin. i'm so sorry.
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"Kenshin, I'm so happy you brought me out here today."
It's Thursday now, after school. I decided to take Kaoru out for some ice cream. I told her, why not. I know it's cold out, but they add hot fudge on it anyway, so it's like a lukewarm treat for us to enjoy. We ordered one banana split with hot fudge and cherries and whipped cream to share together, because the shit is so damn big anyway. We're at the local mall and I needed to get away from all that is stressing me out. She doesn't have to know that, though.
"I already got my dress, but I wanted to surprise you." Kaoru tucks some hair behind her ear shyly.
"I can't wait." I simply respond with a smile before taking a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.
"Did you get your suit, too?"
"Yeah. It's from my dad."
"Hiko's?"
"... Yeah," I frown. I remember. I have two dads, technically.
"Ah!" She blushes and covers her mouth, "I'm sorry! Did I say something offensive?"
I gape at her. Catching on, I chuckle, "No. You're fine."
She lowers her hand from her mouth and sighs with a smile, "Okay. I just didn't want to upset you accidentally."
"You never upset or offend me, Kaoru," I lean over to touch her hand, "I promise."
She blushes deeper, "Oh, Kenshin."
We continue eating our ice cream. My phone keeps buzzing, but I keep ignoring it. I know who it is and I'm not going to give him relief from this. Not after all he's done to me. Not after everything he's said to my face. And speaking my face, I can still feel the sting of him slapping me for talking shit about his father. No thanks. I'm not into that toxic drama anymore. It's time to move on. Kaoru and I shop around a little here and there, not really buying anything, but enjoying ourselves never the less. Life can be fun without having to spend a cent, I find. We talk about a lot stuff and it feels easy between us. I guess it's because of the history behind us. I'm trying not to make it forced or awkward.
"Oh, Kenshin!"
I turn towards Kaoru and watch as she hurries to a store window. She presses her hands against the glass and I come up from behind her, and from here I see that she's oogling over a puppy. It looks like a small fried chicken breast, or a teddy bear. I smirk. It's really cute, actually. Kaoru turns to me and beams, "Isn't it adorable?"
I nod. Her smile relaxes and turns back towards the glass to look at that puppy some more, who is busy sleeping the day away.
Kaoru.. if I had the money..
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Friday, after school. I hitch a ride with Sanosuke to drive to his place so that we can chill for a bit before the dance. Unfortunately, that means I have to face my worst nightmare. I sit in the shot gun while Soujiro sits right behind me, and Yahiko sits behind Sano. Those two were yacking about stupid shit during the entire ride, but Soujiro refuses to join. When Sanosuke asked him what's up, Soujiro just feign sleepiness.
"Well hey, don't go to sleep now, we're gonna have a fucking blast this weekend!"
"I hope we packed everything for the motel." Yahiko stretches and yawns, "Would be awkward if we forgot something."
"Tch. Who cares, the motel Aoshi paid for has a convenient store nearby. And if pressed, the shopping center is just thirty minutes away by car." Sanosuke taps his steering wheel with his finger absent mindedly while waiting for a traffic light to change.
"I think we'll be fine." I mumble, and Yahiko takes out his phone to start playing some app video game on it. The traffic light sure is taking its sweet time.
"Come on, dammit, change." Sanosuke grumbles under his breath.
"I hope we're not gonna hit the traffic." Yahiko muses.
"I doubt it." I reassure everyone. But they don't seem to feel hopeful about this situation.
"We're gonna be late.." Soujiro finally says something in a low voice, and Sanosuke swiftly honks his horn, as if the traffic lights could hear him.
"Aoshi knows how to get inside Sano's place without a key, anyway, so he'll understand." Yahiko fiddles with his phone and I can hear him succeeding at whatever game he's playing.
I deflate, "Yeah.."
Sanosuke honks angrily meanwhile.
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"You're late." Aoshi says simply as he opens the front door of Sanosuke's home.
"Durrr, we're late!" Sanosuke walks in and flailing his arms dramatically. Yahiko laughs behind and we all walk inside the house one by one. Soujiro was behind me and accidentally bumped me from behind, and although my face is burning, I hide this well. Aoshi closes the door while Sanosuke heads towards the kitchen to get us some snacks.
"We have only two hours to get ready." Aoshi reminds him, to which the taller brunet promptly ignored.
"It's fine. We'll make it. It's not like we need a limo." Sanosuke throws a beer can towards Yahiko and he catches it.
"With the crazy traffic on Friday night? I hope you know what you're talking about!" Yahiko chuckles.
"Puh-lease. We'll be fine."
"Hey Soujiro, catch!" Sanosuke flicks another can over to Soujiro, but he misses it and we all watch as the bottle rolls away down into the kitchen area again.
"Ah!" Soujiro tenses up, "I'm sorry!"
I frown, watching him. He's usually good at catching whatever shit we throw at him. He used to play little league as a young boy from what he told us.
"Huh." Sanosuke walks over to the lone can on the floor to pick it up, "It's all good. You can still drink it, can you?"
Soujiro chuckles uneasily, "But of course!"
"Don't get too drunk, now." Aoshi sits on the couch to fiddle with his phone, to text Misao I'm assuming.
"We won't. We'll save that for the bone fire tonight." Yahiko nods.
"Alright, less talking, more munch-munch." Sanosuke claps his hands before passing us a bowl of potato chips. Aoshi declines, but we all took some. I wonder what we'll all have for dinner. I guess we'll find out when we hit the road after the dance.
"Say, Aoshi, how far is the motel from here?"
"It's almost two hours away. But since we have Monday off, it's not that bad." Aoshi responds in even dry tones as usual.
"Nice and far from the parentals." Yahiko stretches his arms towards the ceiling.
"Yeah.." I look towards the floor, suddenly thinking about Hiko. Will he be okay while I'm gone all weekend long?
Suddenly, Soujiro pipes up next to me, "What's wrong, Kenshin? Worried about something?"
I flinch, taking a half step away from him, "Um. Uh."
"Your date?" Sanosuke sniggers.
"My.. dad." I shrug, trying to play it off. The room is quiet for a while.
"I'm glad he got his new job, though. I don't think he'll be drinking while you're gone, Kenshin. This won't be like all our other trips." Yahiko comes next to me to place a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.
My eyes flicker over to Soujiro in time to see him looking at Yahiko's hand on me. He doesn't look one bit happy about that. I smirk to myself.
"Yeah. You guys are right. We'll have a lot of fun this weekend." I take some more chips, and the conversations commence about the dance, the trip, and whether we'll score with the ladies.
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A few hours later, we all arrive to the school gymniasum, where the dance is being held. It's as every bit as cheesy as one would expect of a parent-teacher funded party; lots of balloons, lights dimming and flashing everywhere, old school music blaring from the big speakers, snacks, a punch bowl with no alcohol in it, and awkward dancing. Ugh. I hope we don't stay here for long. I take Kaoru's hand and we both walk on over to the snack area, "Do you want anything to drink, Kaoru?"
"Sure!"
I got us both some punch and we watch as Sanosuke tries his hardest to dance with Megumi, but the former kept stepping on her toes. Megumi keeps screeching at him to watch where he's stepping, trying to school him on how to do the waltz properly. Kaoru giggles as I watch her from the corner of my eye. She looks so beautiful tonight. Wearing a peach, body hugging dress that reflects glitter gold under the lights, her hair swept in a classy updo, and modestly applied makeup.. Kaoru is as every bit as lovely as her name. I sigh inwardly, feeling warm just standing next to her.
"Yoooo, any booze in here?" Yahiko and his date, Tsubame, comes up to us to check out the snacking area.
"No." Kaoru shakes her head, "We have to wait for the bone fire for that. And I am not going to drink with you guys. Sorry."
"More for us, then!" Yahiko wraps his arm around Tsubame, "Am I right, babe?"
"Yahiko, not here.." Tsubame covers her mouth and chin with her hand shyly, trying to hide her blushing.
"She's shy." Yahiko half shrugs, as if we couldn't see it from where we're standing.
"You don't say." I roll my eyes.
Before Yahiko can come up with a rebuttal, two people have joined us. I look and see that it's Soujiro, wearing the most spectacular three piece suit I've ever seen in my life. It fits him like a fucking glove. And his shoes shine to the point that it'd burn the retinas of all shoe obsessed women, I bet. Hanging on his arm, is Sayo Amakusa. Sayo is head of the student council, and she has some of the best grades in the entire school. Every year, in our yearbooks, she always gets voted the most likely to succeed and be rich with wealth. She comes from a more upper middle class, and hangs out solely with other well off students here. So, it's no surprise that they both agreed to go together. She and he have direct experiences in living wealthy; country clubs, under ground pools, extensive traveling, and designer clothes.
"Oh, my God," Kaoru gasps, "You two look so good tonight!"
"I love your dress, Sayochan," Tsubame also gasps to herself.
Indeed, Sayo is dressed to the nines in her sleek blood red dress, high heels, and hair styled by a professional. She smiles with her eyes only, "Thank you."
I tighten my eyes. For some reason, Sayo doesn't seem so open with Kaoru and Tsubame. I wonder if it's because Sayo knows how poor we really are compared to her and Soujiro.
"You guys enjoying yourselves?" Soujiro tilts his head with a smile, looking right at me for a hot second before he looks at everyone as they offer their answers, "Good. I'm glad we can come out here tonight."
"Soujiro, dear, maybe we should go talk to my friends. They have something to discuss with you that'll bore these kids to tears," Sayo laughs behind her hand, trying to be joking, but I can't help but detect a hidden note of sarcasm in there. I wonder if they're going to talk about rich kids shit.
"In a minute, darling." Soujiro says without looking at her. Because he's looking right at me. I look back, grunting.
"Oh, what are you guys going to talk about?" Kaoru asks.
Sayo opens her eyes and smirks behind her hand, "Very boring stuff. Like money."
My stomach drops. I knew it.
".. Oh. Oh, I see," Kaoru suddenly looks a bit flushed, "Let's um, let's dance, Kenshin. I like this song!"
She takes me by the arm and we both walk away from the table. That was so fucking awkward. But what can I say? That's how the rich kids are like in this school. Though they are a far cry from the riches that Soujiro is blessed with, they have just enough money to flash it in our faces whenever they damn well please. Which pisses me the fuck off. The arrogance is enough to make me want to claw their eyes out. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let Soujiro and his tramp ruin this night for Kaoru. It's obvious she was looking forward to this for a while, and.. I'm going to show her a good time.
You'll see.
Especially you, Soujiro.
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To be continued.