Author's note: Hello, lovelies! Hope you're all excited for this update because I worked hard on this. :3 I'm so excited for Christmas! What do you think you guys will get this Christmas? I know what I'm getting and it's a big ass makeup brush set from Morphe. A girl's gotta look Instagram-ready whenever she's out and about. I mean, I've always worn makeup for a long time now, but it would be nice to really hunker down on the techniques and using professional brushes, y'know? Oh look at me babbling away about something completely off topic, lol! Anyhoo, hope you all enjoy this chapter. Next update will be on Friday, December 28th. Might be a bit of a shorter chapter, because of the holiday business, but I will try my best!
Rated M+ for graphic sexual content. Viewer discretion is advised.
"An old man turned ninety-eight.
He won the lottery and died the next day.
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay.
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late.
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?"
- Alanis Morissette
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"Oh, Kenshin, they're playing my favorite song.."
I have one hand on the small of Kaoru's back and the other on the side of her waist. The speakers starts blaring a really old song that I remember Hiko used to play around the house when I was kid. "I Knew I Loved You", by Savage Garden. Being that I was born in 2000, I never got to experience the magic of the 90s like my much older peers got to enjoy. But I did played Hiko's older CDs when I was a kid, because then he would sing badly and off key and I would giggle at his silliness. Before the alcoholism took him, before he lost his job, before I had to grow up before it was necessary.. Music was what kept me going through the hard times.
Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
As Kaoru and I dance slowly in the middle of the gymnasium along with dozens of other couples, my eyes flicker over to the big table where the rich students sat. They all didn't want to dance to this song, opting to take the opportunity to discuss about other things instead. Things like money, where they went on a previous summer trip, the latest gadgets they got for their birthdays. Things that seemed millions of miles away from the world that I am used to. Soujiro is sitting next to Sayo, smiling politely as she talks a storm about all the nice things her rich daddy brought her over the weekend. I swallow the strange lump in my throat and closed my eyes, leaning my face against Kaoru's head.
".. Kenshin?"
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
"I'm sorry," I lean my face away again, flushing, "I didn't mean to.."
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
Kaoru smiles and I can see a tint of pink rising on her cheeks, "It's okay. I just.."
I frown, waiting.
Her eyes flutter to the ground, "I just.. I just wanted to say.. thank you."
I gasp quietly, startled.
There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
"Kaoru.." I didn't bother to finish my sentence, and instead bring her closer into my embrace, the smell of her shampoo and her mother's perfume filling up my senses. She smells so dainty and delicate, just like her features and her body and her womanly ways. She really is such a sweetheart, and I'm so happy that she got to be my date. Kaoru stiffened at first over this embrace, probably not used to this strange tender side of me. But she then relaxed into the embrace and we continue to slowly move our feet again, not really dancing but rotating in a circle as we held on to each other tightly.
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
I like you, Kaoru.
I don't need Soujiro anymore.
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
I don't know what prompted me to open one of my eyes, but I did and from way ahead of us, I can see Soujiro now looking at me with an expression on his face that he pulled earlier tonight. The same face he made when Yahiko touched my shoulder when we were all at Sano's place. But this time, it's even deeper and more hurt. A shot of pain cracks into my chest and I bite my lower lip to prevent any pained noise from escaping. I really don't like how Soujiro looks. I almost feel sorry for him. I really do believe that he is in love with me, just like I am with him.
But..
Ooooooooh oooh ooooh
Ohhhhh ohh ohh
A thousand angels dance around you
Ooooooooh oooh ooooh
Ohhhhh ohh ohh
I am complete now that I found you
I close my eye again. I can't bare to look at him anymore. I shouldn't even care anymore. He doesn't want to be with me. Feelings be damned, right? If he can ignore his own feelings for me, then I ought to do the same. Because in the end? He's right. He has an entire fucking company looking up at him to take his father's place once he retires from the throne, and they need a suitable replacement. And who else, none other than his own son? The son who he took up at his apprentice since a very young age? It only makes logical sense. So, who am I to get in the way of that? So what if Soujiro wanted to be a veterinarian? Maybe he is right. Maybe making a lot of money is more important. With money, I can solve so much of my personal problems, as well as help my loved ones.
Money might be the root of all evil, but it's also the answer in defeating it at the same time.
.. I'm not making sense, am I?
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
"Kenshin, do you still think about Tomoe?"
I look at Kaoru again, startled, "W-what?"
Her eyes bore into mines somberly, "It's just.. I can tell just by looking at you. Your body language says it all. You're still in love with her. She's on her mind tonight.. isn't she?"
My eyes waver, "Kaoru.."
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
She laughs a little under her breath, looking at my stomach dejectedly despite her smile, "I understand, Kenshin, she's―"
"―Kaoru, shut up!"
I take her chin with my hand to lift her face to mines, kissing her lips. Her lips that are so soft and buttery smooth. Her breath smells of mint and cinnamon, and her face feels like that of silk. I love how soft women are. Who needs men like Soujiro? I should be enjoying this, instead! Kaoru makes a muffled sound as I brush my lips against hers, and I could have sworn I can feel her heated blushing face against mines. She's not the only one feeling hot, though. We stay like that, lips locked together, for what felt like a long time. Through her lips, I can reminiscence the youth of the years gone by.
The years when things made sense.
The years when I had my step father.
The years when I was free.
When I was happy.
I knew I loved you before I met you
I knew I loved you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I knew I loved you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I knew I loved you..
I break the kiss softly, my eyes looking into her wet eyes. And instantly, my eyes flash towards the rich kids table. Soujiro's no longer there. Even Sayo is looking right at us with a strange expression on her face. What's her fucking problem? Where did Soujiro go? I look all around me, my eyes trying to find a lean brunet in a sea of many faces and slow flashing lights. But I can't see him anywhere. I look down at Kaoru and she is too busy looking down at herself with blushing cheeks, touching her lips with the tips of her fingers. Completely and utterly in disbelief at what I've done. I'll admit it, even I didn't know what came over me, either.
She finally looks up with hesitation, "K-Kenshin..?"
"I like you." I blurted out, my face flushing even harder, and she gasps with a squeak, her face reddening.
She gapes at me, and I at her in return.
".. Oh my God," Tears starts streaming down her face, "I.. I like you too, Kenshin!"
I fight back my own tears.
...
What am I doing?
Is this.. is this right?
Do I really..?
"Kenshin, are you.. are you asking me to be your.." She takes a hold of her other arm shyly.
"Y-yes!" I grasp her upper arms gently, "Yes, Kaoru, yes! Will you be my girlfriend?"
She sobs and embraces me, "Yes, Kenshin!"
My heart is beating a million miles per hour. That's a good thing to feel that, right? I mean.. it's not.. it's not with Soujiro. It's with Kaoru. This is who I'm supposed to be with. This is who I'm supposed to be. A ladies man. A guy with a girlfriend. Of course. This is the way it's supposed to be. This is the natural way. The correct way. The thing we should expect. What Soujiro and I shared was abhorrent and disgusting. Unnatural. Immoral. This is what I should be doing instead. This is what matters, right now, right here..
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"Kenshin.. don't cry. I'm yours now."
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"Where did Soujiro go?"
It was Yahiko who asked that just now. We were all standing just outside of the school building, taking a smoking break. Although Kaoru doesn't really smoke cigarettes, she lets herself have a few puffs from Megumi. Why do female friends have to share everything? It's cold as shit outside, but thankfully, Aoshi has a metal flask with vodka in his coat pocket to share with all of us. The perk of being older than all of us, I guess.
"Maybe he's in the bathroom taking a large dump." Sanosuke exhales, the smoke appearing like white smog into the darkness of the night.
"You really just say whatever comes to your mind, do you?" Megumi rolls her eyes.
"Well, when you marry me, I'll cut it out." Sanosuke winks at her, to which the latter gawks in shock.
"As if!" Megumi shrieks, and Kaoru giggles next to her.
"I think you two would make a perfect couple." Misao sighs dreamily, "Isn't that right, Aoshi?"
He just humphs and inhales his cigarette as a response. He's a man of a few words like that.
"I hope you like kids, because I want like ten of them." Sanosuke crackers his fingers absent mindedly.
"And who exactly is going to pick up after them?" Megumi sneers.
"You."
"Me?!"
I smile to myself. This is just like the olden days when it was just us and no Soujiro. It's better like this. More natural, too. Two men together.. it's just not right. It'll never be natural. The smile fades from my face, looking at the ground and at all of our shoes. That's right. I have my friends and now I have a new girlfriend who is really just the sweetest and prettiest little thing. Why should I want Soujiro anymore at this point? Fuck him.
"It's too bad Tsubame can't make it to this trip with us." Yahiko pouts.
Still.. I do wonder where he actually did went.
Did he ran off after he saw me kissing Kaoru?
No way. Why would that bother him? We did agreed to be sexually monogamous together, but since he said he doesn't want me as his.. well, as his partner.. Then he and I are both allowed to have our own separate relationships. Right? But where does that leave us, sexually? I hope he doesn't try to fuck me while I'm in this relationship with Kaoru. I don't want to cheat on her. I would never hurt her like that. I want to be a good boyfriend to her. She has waited for God knows how many years for me to reciprocate her feelings back to her. She stood by me while I was dating Tomoe.. she stood by me when Hiko began to drink. She stood by me when I shared financial woes with her. She stood by me when I got into misfits at the tender age of fourteen, just to forget the pains back at home. She stood by me through everything..
So. Because of all of those things, it's only logical that I return the favor.
I'm not going to think about Soujiro anymore.
I'm going to focus on all of my attention on Kaoru, and Kaoru only.
"Hey, honey?" I take a step forward while taking off my brand new leather jacket, "You look cold. Here."
Everyone balks at me as I place my jacket over the shoulders of Kaoru, and even she looked at me like I just killed someone right in front of her. It's much colder now for me, but I don't care. She looked cold. So I gave her my jacket. Because that's what a good boyfriend does. Right? I did the right thing. I look back at everyone and the first one to react was Megumi, "What the ever loving fuck did you just called Kaoru?"
"My honey." I smile demurely.
".. Holy shit. You.." Sanosuke pointed his finger at me, and then pointed at Kaoru, "And you..?!"
Kaoru blushes, not saying anything.
"Oh my God. Oh my God!" Misao gushes, "You mean you guys?! You guys are dating now?!"
I shrug, "Call it whatever you guys want, but yeah. She's my girlfriend now."
The entire group, save for Aoshi, starts clamoring and shooting all kinds of questions left and right. Like how did we came up with this decision. Who asked who first. Did we always had feelings for each other. How will our parents react, especially Kaoru's. When will we have our first ever date together as a couple, and where would we go. Will we get married after high school ends. Will we have kids. What will we name our future children. I'll admit, even my mind doesn't stretch that far into the future yet. Marriage with children is something I'm shy about, thanks to my terrible experiences concerning my own parents. Is it really true that one can stay with only one person for the rest of their lives? It sounds almost too good to be true.
But for now, a relationship with a sweet girl is something I can handle.
At least.. I think I can handle it.
My phone vibrates, and my stomach drops. Is it..?
While the group surrounds poor Kaoru with all sorts of questions, I check my phone. It's a text message from Aoshi.
Forgive me if this is a douchebag thing to ask, but are you really sure you want to be Kaoru's boyfriend?
What's it to ya? Yea of course I want to be her boyfriend. I like her.
I just find it strange that you suddenly want to be in a relationship. You're not exactly the monogamous type. Need I remind you of your own promiscuous past?
What, so I'm not allowed to be in a relationship now because of my past?
I wouldn't call it allowed. Just that I had a feeling you were seeing someone on the side for a while now.
Well I wasn't!
Don't lie to me. You would ghost us on weekends and we never know where you are. I don't buy you being busy with studying to suddenly ditch your friends. You're obviously sleeping with someone. And I'm not going to stand by and watch you hurt Kaoru while you sleep with that other person.
My eyes flicker up to Aoshi's from across, glaring deeply at one another.
I won't hurt Kaoru.
Then don't. Because you're my friend, but you won't be exempt from an ass kicking if you do hurt her. Misao cares for Kaoru deeply, so it's only natural.
You're a good man, Aoshi. Now mind your business.
The exit door from behind us open, and my heart starts thumping in my chest. It's Soujiro. He has a tint of red in his eyes from where I can see him, but he keeps an upbeat persona as he greets us all casually. Why were you crying, you idiot? You don't want to be with me. What was I supposed to do? He takes out his own cigarette to join us smoking, and we soon start discussing about the bonfire. It's quickly getting late into the night, and we should get going. It's going to be a long ride there. I wonder where Soujiro's date went. Did he ditched her? I would've done the same. She's such a stuck up, insufferable bitch.
"It's getting late. We need to get inside my van in order to make it to the motel before midnight." Aoshi exhales before ditching his cigarette.
"Man, I'm gonna be so beat when we make it there." Yahiko stretches and yawns, as if to make a point.
"Yeah.." Misao says in a low, tired voice.
"Let's get going, then?" Soujiro steps on his cigarette butt on the ground with his shoe, and we all agree to it soundly.
I make it a point to avoid his eyes as we all start entering the school building, one by one.
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Aoshi has this big van that his father gave him ever since Aoshi got his first license a few years ago. His father got himself a new car, but Aoshi didn't wanted him to get rid of the van. It's a really cool van, plenty of space for a lot of people to either sit somewhere in the front, or just lie down in the back where there's just nothing but the floor. Aoshi and Sanosuke already picked up all the wood for the bonfire the night before the dance, so that's good. Sanosuke sits in shot gun while Megumi and Kaoru sits behind them, sleeping away. Yahiko lies asleep on the ground, using his bundled up hoodie as a pillow. All of our duffel bags lie neatly all the way in the back, where I use them to support my back as I play a video game app on my phone. Kaoru is sitting right next to me, sleeping on my shoulder.
And Soujiro lies asleep just a few inches away from me. Every once in a while, my eyes would shift from my phone screen to the sleepy brunet. I really fucking hate admitting this after everything that's happened, but.. God, he looks so cute and defenseless when he's fast asleep. His little slender nose with his full rose lips, the way he eyelashes fan out against his cheekbones.. I blush, looking back down on my phone to continue beating the monsters in the game.
I wonder if Soujiro is going to make this trip awkward, now that he's seen me kiss Kaoru. I really hope not. If he has anything to say to me about us, he'll have to wait till we are alone again. As in, after the long weekend if over. He doesn't deserve any explanations from me. He most certainly does not deserve an apology from me, either. He's made up his mind about where we stand, and that's it. So, I'm allowed to date someone else just like he can, right?
Right.
"Winner!" my phone exclaims quietly in the background.
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I'm a winner, alright. When we all arrived at the motel, it is just over midnight. The air has dropped to a near freezing point, so we all try our best to hurry up with getting our belongings from the van and check in. We were lucky that the receptionist was so backed up in her work that she had no choice but to accept our late check in. The motel really isn't all that bad. Very basic and average, but comfy. Aoshi booked his own bedroom to share with Misao (ugh), and he booked a bigger room for Sanosuke, me, Yahiko, and Soujiro. The bigger rooms only has double beds.. which means that Sanosuke has to snooze next to Yahiko, and I'm forced to sleep next to Soujiro. The other bigger room is for the ladies, Megumi and Kaoru.
"Why can't we sleep next to the girls?" Sanosuke scowls at the beds in our room.
"Oh I'm sorry, I did not know you and Megumi had an established relationship." Aoshi's eyebrow cocks up at the tall brute.
Sanosuke flinches and laughs awkwardly, "R-right. We don't. Eh.."
Yahiko flutters his eyelashes playfully at Sanosuke, "Don't try anything. I'm waiting until marriage."
"Shut the fuck up." Sanosuke shoves Yahiko by his shoulder, making him chuckle.
"Keep it down," Aoshi turns around to take his leave, "I really don't feel like sleeping outside tonight. Good night."
"Night." We all say in union sleepily.
"Welp," Sanosuke cracks his knuckles, "Since there's nothing else to do or say.."
"Right. Let's just go to sleep." I turn around to the bathroom to use the toilet, "I'll be out in a minute."
"I call the left side!" Yahiko whispers as he rushes to the bed.
"Hey!" Sanosuke hisses after him.
I don't hear Soujiro say anything.
Like I said.. who cares about him anymore.
I just have to get through tonight with having to sleep next to him. That's all. It doesn't have to mean anything. He knows better than to make a move on me when we're so fucking close in proximity to Sano and Yahiko.
...
I come out of the bathroom and find that all the lights are out, save for a small night light that's turned on between the two double sized beds. Yahiko and Sanosuke are out like a light. Soujiro is also soundly asleep. At least, I think he is. I quietly tip toe to get on the other side of the bed, slipping through the covers gingerly so as to not arouse the brunet awake. I lie my head carefully on the cool pillow, feeling the heaviness of fatigue shutting my eyes close. I'm so exhausted. I hate long trips. I hope the bonfire tomorrow night will be lit. I smirk to myself silently. Ah ha ha ha. I'm such a great pun master..
...
"Kenshin."
...
".. Kenshin?"
...
"Kenshin.."
...
My eyes flutter open, feeling something.. new. Wrapped around my waist and with my legs intertwined, I suddenly realize that Soujiro has come to snuggle up beside me. Did he do that in his sleep, or was he awake when he did that? Did I dreamed that he was calling out my name? Or was it all real? I can't tell anymore. It's so late and I'm so tired. But he can't sleep like this. I very carefully unwrap his arms away from my waist and try to shove his body away from me. But as it was said before at that house party, the guy's a lot heavier than he looks. So he just lies there by my side, his head resting on the crook between my neck and shoulder. Maybe I should shake him awake?
I start nudging his shoulder carefully, and whisper, "Soujiro.. Soujiro."
He groans sleepily, rubbing his cheek against the nook of my neck. I shiver. He smells so good. He feels so soft, for a boy.
"Soujiro!" I whisper a little harder.
He groans again, feeling his arm lifting up to rub his eye, "Whu..?"
"You're on top of me. Move." I whisper, taking care to keep the volume as low as possible. I don't want the other guys to hear us.
"Mn.." He moves away from me, stretching his entire body and rubbing his eye, "Whu time it is..?"
"To sleep. Goodnight." I turn around so that my back faces him, just to create as much distance as possible. Which is hard, being that this is only a double bed. I guess the bigger beds would've placed a dent on Aoshi's credit card, so this will have to do. God fucking dammit. I already wish this weekend vacation is over. I wonder if Soujiro is going to keep bugging me during winter break, when the school closes for Christmas and New Years. I hope his dad can take him for faraway travels so that I can focus on Hiko and my close friends instead. I can't take this stress anymore. It's killing me.
It's quiet for a few moments. Sleep fades into my mind. Then I feel Soujiro's weight move beside me, and he once again wraps his arm around the side of my waist, snuggling his cheek against the back of my head. I know I shouldn't, but.. I'm melting on the inside through this contact. I thought he would be nasty to me, after seeing me smooch Kaoru on the dance floor. But so far.. he's been nothing but affectionate and sweet. It makes me.. miss him all the more. My heart is thumping my chest, and my face feels hot with me blushing. I love Soujiro so much, but will he ever let me love him back?
I hear him sigh softly into my hair, and I too sigh contently.
...
No.
We can't do this. No way.
My eyes snap open and I carefully maneuver myself around so that I can face him and start to shake his shoulder again, "Sou."
His eyes flutter open, and though it's pretty dark in here, I can still see the beautiful blue in them, "Hm?"
"We can't snuggle like this."
"I know."
"So please move."
"I will.. under one condition," He suddenly moves in to kiss my lips, and I flinch back, "Meet me outside of the motel in two minutes."
I gape at him, ".. Why?"
"Please."
His voice sounds so sad and weak. My heart pounds painfully. I nod, "Okay."
He gets out of the bed slowly, carefully, silently, to avoid waking up the other boys. He leaves the room, and I lie on my back on the bed, just staring at the ceiling. What could he possibly want from me now? Is it even a good idea for me to go see him now? What if one of the guys heard us just now? Well, it's not like we said anything just now that would hint at us being together.. Well, apart from me saying something about snuggling together. Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck! No, there's just.. there's just no way that they heard that. And if they do say something, I'll blame it on them being so tired and wasted that they might've heard things in their dreams. Yeah. That could work.
I think it's been two minutes. Time to see what's up.
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Soujiro and I are now outside of the motel, just right next to the small business office. Our rooms and our friends are just a few flights up of the stairs, so we both feel comfortably distant from what we used to know. But now, staring at one another, we've entered a different realm; the things we do not recognize, the symbols that haunted us, now coming to fruition with a pair of blue eyes and trembling lips.
".. Soujiro?" I try gently, and he hesitates.
"I.. I'm sorry, Kenshin."
I sigh, my shoulders deflating, "It's fine. We both said things we didn't mean. Things we did that just wasn't us. I understand everything now, Soujiro. I'm so sorry."
He and I stare at each other some more, our breaths white against the night air. It's so cold, but his eyes feel so warm just staring at my face out right. He is the sun to my moon. He and I take our time, shuffling our feet, staring at the ground, not knowing what to say.. until..
"Are you dating Kaoru now?"
I flinch, ".. I guess so."
He's quiet, and I watch his eyes opening wide as he looks at my shoes, pupils wavering. Then he blinks a few times to get it together and responds quietly, "Oh. I see. Well.. you guys look nice, together. I'm.. happy for you.."
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Do you want to.. um.." Soujiro shifts on his feet, swaddling side to side, giving me this cute little smirk, "Mess around?"
I scoff, chuckling, "Dude."
"Come on.. we'll be quiet. We'll find a place just a bit further from here."
"No. No. We can't. I.." I gulp, "That would be like, cheating on Kaoru.. right? And aren't you dating Sayo?"
"No. She's just for the dance. Didn't think you would take it as far as getting yourself into an actual relationship just to spite me." His smile looks so bitter as he says that. My heart is in so much pain, just by looking at him.
"I didn't," I shake my head, "I didn't get into a relationship just to spite you! I.. I like her. I like her a lot."
"More than you love me?"
Don't make me cry.
"Keep your fucking voice down, please!" I whisper, biting down a sob, "They'll hear us."
"From all the way up there?" He tilts his head, chuckling sadly, "Oh Kenshin. And you were the one who always used to say that we could be together in spite of everything. Now you understand what I'm going through. It scares you, doesn't it?"
I stare at him in shock, and then I shake my head, almost as if to erase the shit I'm hearing out of my head, "No! It's not like that at all!"
"Then prove it. Prove how much you love me. Right now. Come with me."
"Come with you where?"
"Just come."
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I know I shouldn't. I know I ought to do the right thing. And the right thing, is to go back upstairs and go back to sleep. To stay faithful to Kaoru. To be loyal to her, on my very first day as her boyfriend. I know better than to hurt her like this. I know that even Hiko would tell me not to go with Soujiro, especially as he plays with my heart strings like this. But looking into those eyes, those eyes that makes me freeze and melt at once.. I knew I couldn't say no. He takes my wrist and gently pulls me in to follow him, and we walked away from the motel, to go into the forest that's close by. I know better than this. I know that I should say no and to yank my arm away so as to go back. To run away and to keep lying to the whole wide world for both of our sakes.
But I couldn't.
I couldn't stay away.
"Hah.." I pant, clutching on the tree behind me with my two hands as Soujiro rubs his hard along with my hard on together, his fingers gripping with just the right intensity for the both of us. We have to be at least a few minutes into the forest, the only thing lighting our paths is the flashlights on our mobile phones. We keep them on and on full brightness on the ground, just so we can see each other. Soujiro quickens the pace, making me grit my teeth in pleasure, "Fuck..!"
"I missed you.. so much.." He shuts his eyes, moaning and then spitting onto both of our cocks for more lubrication.
Not even the best liquor in the world could make me feel as warm as this.
"Soujiro.. wait.. I can't.. hold it in.. any longer.." I whimper, and Soujiro slows down with his pumping, "T-thank you."
He giggles, "No problem. I want.. to enjoy this.. longer with you.. Kenshin.."
We continue at it for a few more minutes, until I feel myself mounting to the finishing line. When Soujiro senses this in me, he stops, letting our cocks go. I am out of breath from all the intensity of this moment, and now I see him turning around and fidgeting with his pants in order to open and pull it down to his knee caps. His perfect round ass tempts me more than any attractive female siren could ever do. I hastily grab his hips to pull him towards me, grabbing the base of my cock to aim into his hole, "S-Soujiro.."
He arches his back and cries out as I puncture into him, "Fuck!"
"Shh!" I hiss, plunging in deeper, the contracting heat putting me under a spell, "Keep it down.. fuck.."
He takes a moment to pause and recollect himself, ".. I'm sorry."
I bite my lower lip. What am I doing?! Already on my first fucking day of being someone's boyfriend, and I'm over here having sex with my best friend. My stomach drops at that thought. My best friend? Soujiro Seta, of the Seta Enterprise.. is my best friend? No. No, that's not true. That's Sanosuke. The guy who's been with me since I could remember what it was like to be alive. The guy who's seen me through thick and thin, and is still on my side after everything. Sanosuke Sagara, the guy who's cut from the same cloth as me. Who knows my struggles in life, and understands them. It's not Soujiro. It can't be him. He can't be my best friend. He just..
He looks over my shoulder, "Kenshin?"
"Hn?" I blink at him.
"Why'd you stop?"
I grimace at myself, "I.. I don't know. This isn't right, Soujiro. I can't do this with you anymore."
"Why not?" He sighs as he moves his hips back, fucking himself with my cock, "Hm?"
I grunt in pleasure, gripping the sides of his hips, digging my nails into his flesh, "Please..!"
"Please?" He smirks, continuing to hump against my hard on, and then he tosses his head back slowly with a moan, "Aw, yeah.."
"Soujiro, God damn―" I grab his upper arms to have him stand up straighter, my cock still inside of him, and I start to gnaw on the side of his neck hungrily. He groans in pain as I sink my teeth on the side of his neck, my tongue swirling over the wound at the same time. Ever since at that winter formal dance, I craved to be with him more than anything in the world. To touch him again, and feel my finger tips burn as it trails over his skin. It's only Soujiro who can arouse such passions inside of me. And I should hate him for that. I should abhor the sight of him just by making me feel these emotions..
But I can't hate him! Not anymore!
"Soujiro.. I love you. I know you said I shouldn't, but.. I love you." I wrap my arms around his chest, snuggling against his hair meanwhile.
"I know. I love you too."
It feels like a huge load of weight has lifted from my shoulders. Does this mean what I think it means? Are we going to be together now? But.. What about Kaoru? I don't know how we'll break the news to her, as well as to all of the others. I wonder how Hiko would react. I wonder how the entire school would act. It doesn't matter now, does it? Because I can at least be my most authentic self, and that's the most important thing. It's how I've always lived, with that principle clutched to my heart. I wouldn't accept living any less than that. I refuse to live under false pretenses just to make other people feel better. Fuck that noise.
I lean away from his hair, "Are we together now?"
"Will you leave Kaoru if I said yes?"
My heart thumps in my chest. I don't like knowing that I will hurt one of the most important people in my life.
But..
"Kenshin?" Soujiro turns towards my face a little.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'll.. I'll do it. I'll break up with her."
"When?"
"When the day breaks, I'll.. I'll talk to her."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
"Swear?"
I smirk, "I swear it."
He then moves my dick out of his hole, careful to not rip any skin with any rapid movements, "I propose a contest."
"Oh?" I shiver from a cold gust of wind passing my exposed lower body now, "Which is..?"
"Let's masturbate together. Who ever cums first loses."
"What's the prize?"
"You'll see." He winks with his tongue out.
In the next few moments, we were just standing side by side and kissing each other while fapping ourselves. We take it slow, trying to beat the other one to this game, but it is proven difficult the longer time drags on and the more our kissing turns each other on. Soujiro tries to suck on my tongue as a way to tease my orgasm to come sooner, and I'd slip a free hand under his hoodie to fiddle with his sensitive nipple. After several passing, we couldn't hold on anymore and both cum pretty much at the same time, leaning back on the large tree behind us so that we wouldn't fall over.
"Guess we both lose." I pant, wiping the sweat off of my brow.
"That felt so good." Soujiro whispers with a self satisfied (or cold?) shiver.
"Let's go back inside before we catch our deaths out here," I pull up my pants and watch as Soujiro does the same with his, "And let's try to be quiet."
"Right with ya." He nods as he follows my lead out of the forest with our mobile flashlights.
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"Can I cuddle with you, Kenshin?"
"Heh. Okay."
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The sun hits my eyes, rousing me to wake up. I grumble and groan, rubbing the sleepiness from my face with the back of my fist. Fuck. What time is it? I reach for my phone on the night stand next to the bed, switching it on. It's almost noon. Holy shit, did I slept a lot. I turn my head to the other side and still find Soujiro snoozing away. Huh. Guess I'm not the only one who overslept. I look at the next bed over to find it empty. Wonder where they all went? I frown, carefully sitting up and shaking Soujiro awake, "Hey. Good morning."
He groans and grabs my wrist to stop me from shaking him, "Noooo.."
I chuckle under my breath, "Wake up, dummy. It's noon."
"Who caressss.." He drones, rubbings his face into his pillow as a sign of protest.
I let him sleep, watching him with a tired smile on my face. I check my messages and find one text message from Aoshi: We all woke up and went to get breakfast. We will pick up something for you and Sleeping Beauty.
I find another text message and it's from Kaoru: Good morning love! xoxo I thought you looked so cute sleeping there soundly, so don't you worry. :D I will make sure you and Souji will be fed when we return. Text me when you're awake. :3
I deflate. Oh Kaoru. I just cheated on you. I can't believe my relationship with her is already coming to an abrupt end. It's not so much that it's because I actually like her in a deep romantic sense.. but it's because I know this will break her heart and she really doesn't deserve that. But at the same time, she deserves to be with someone who could actually love her the way she deserves to be loved.
"Are they picking up food for us?" Soujiro stretches.
"Yeah. Let's go downstairs to take the public showers."
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In the shower facility, there are open spaces and many shower heads aligning in a row. Kinda like your typical high school locker room if yours has a shower. We were given rubber sandals because germs kill, y'all. Soujiro was kind enough to share between us his bottles of his luxurious shampoo and conditioner. I rinse off said shampoo from my hair, watching as Soujiro washes his own hair nearly a foot away from me. His body is truly magnificent. I can't wait to have a taste of him when we return home to Kyoto. I'm going to fuck him raw and dry. I bite my lower lip as I feel myself stiffening. Phew. Man. He's hot. Okay. Calm down, Kenshin. Not here. Not while your friends are so fucking close..
"Hey there, lover boy," Soujiro winks flirtatiously at me, waving his hips at me, "Woooh."
I roll my eyes, "Shut up, will ya?"
He laughs and we continue to bathe ourselves. More men would come in to also take showers along side with us, and so Soujiro and I had to pretend that we don't know each other. I wonder if this is how life will be like if we actually were to be together. Do we have to hide it from strangers? Japan has come a long way with how they view homosexuality, but I can't say we're that liberal about it either. It's still a social taboo, really.
After we were done and got dressed, we head back upstairs to chill in the bedroom. Soujiro has the television on to watch the local news with a cup of coffee, while I also drink a cup of coffee out on the tiny balcony. See, this motel is not so bad! Looking out, I can see endless stretches of trees and faraway mountains that surely we would never reach by foot. But the view of it from here is nothing short of magnificent. I take a sip of my coffee, savoring the heat. It's nice and nippy out, but not too cold that the bonfire would be a disaster. I hope the bonfire is a success, in more ways than one. I hope Soujiro behaves himself, and I hope I can control myself too. I hope nobody notices the chemistry between us. I'm hoping for so many things right now.
I come back inside to catch Soujiro still watching TV idly, "Did they called?"
"Nah. Did they texted you?"
"No." I frown, "Maybe they went shopping."
"Without my fat wallet? Lame."
I walk on over to sit next to him on the edge of the bed, looking at the TV screen, "Excited about the bonfire?"
"You bet!"
"I wonder if I should text them to get marshmallows." I pull out my phone and start texting Aoshi.
"I haven't done that in ages!" Soujiro falls on his back, "This is gonna be so much fun!"
I chuckle, looking over my shoulder at him, "Yeah."
This is nice. I'm glad we've reconciled and worked things out together.
"Hey Kenshin.. How are you going to break up with Kaoru?" He bends his arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling above him, "Just wondering."
I sigh, also lying down on my back next to him to stare at the ceiling too, "I don't know. I feel like it'd be too awkward to do it while we're all here."
He grunts, "So.. No breaking up this weekend, huh."
I shrug, "Yeah. Sorry."
"It's okay. As long as you do it soon afterward, I'm not stressing."
"You are such a jealous lover, you know that?" I smirk.
"Yeah, well," He reaches down to stroke the front of my jeans, making me flinch with a startled cry, "This? Is mine, and mine alone. She can't have it."
"Cut it out!" I slap his perverted hand off of me, "What if they walk in and see us?"
"We'd hear the door and act like nothing is happening." He giggles.
"You're impossible." I roll my eyes.
"I wuv you." He bristles at me playfully. I kinda had to smile a bit.
"Hey, Soujiro?"
"Yeah?"
".. Wanna make out?"
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Our friends came back later on and we all decided to go on a small hike. Nothing too crazy. We just wanted to check out the woods for a bit. We all made sure to dress up nice and snug and packed some water and a light lunch in there too. We had fun, talking and laughing and observing the nature. We went deep enough that we found a small creek. We decide to stop and rest here for a bit, and Sanosuke challenges Yahiko to a rock skipping contest. Because we're adults like that. Kaoru is taking Polaroid photos of every little flower she'd find, and I'd walk along side with her to point out anything she might like to capture. Megumi is doing some stretching or weird yoga poses meanwhile and tries to teach Misao how to balance herself. Aoshi just smokes and watches all of us.
Soujiro sits on a rock near the creek, just a bit away from all of us, watching the water run. I make sure not to stare at him for too long.
"I win, motherfucker!" Yahiko whoops into the air with his fists, jumping like a little spaz.
"No fair, your rocks weighed lighter than mines!" Sanosuke gripes, "I want a rematch!"
"Will you two grow up already?" Megumi groans, Misao agreeing with her soundly.
"We should get going soon." Aoshi steps on his cigarette, because forest fires is bad news bears.
"We haven't eaten the lunch yet!" Yahiko dramatically points with his open palms towards our packed belongings.
"Fair enough, let's eat and then move." Aoshi steps away from the tree he was leaning on. We ate and chit chatted about random shit. Soujiro is kinda quiet through out all of it, but he would smile and respond if anyone asked him a question. I wonder what's on his mind. Is he sad that he has to see me be Kaoru's boyfriend for the rest of the weekend? I guess I could see why that would suck so much. But man, I can't wait till we all get to go home and I can actually be his.. I gulp a part of my sandwich uneasily. His partner. His boyfriend. Oh God. It sounds so weird when I say it! But.. It's actually kinda nice at the same time. Boyfriend. I start to chuckle under my breath, catching Kaoru's attention next to me.
"What's so funny?" She giggles.
I shake my head, smiling her way, "Nothing."
I can't help but feel Soujiro's eyes burning through the back of my head. Patience, Soujiro.
We'll be together soon.
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[Bonfire]
Don't ask me how we got the fires burning from the chopped wood. All I know is that Aoshi brought a small tank of lighting fluid, a lighter, and made Sanosuke spit on the wood with hot sauce. The whole thing became alive with fire instantly when they both did that. We had to go back to the forest after we ate supper to have the event, and everything went great. As the fire roars higher into the sky, Megumi starts to gather the supplies of sticking the marshmallows into twigs before handing them to all of us. We were lucky to have made the bonfire in the middle of several rocks that circled it, so we all had a comfortable place to sit and roast the marshmallows over the flames. Yahiko passes us his bong meanwhile. I, of course, sat between Kaoru and Soujiro, making sure I don't look at him too much. It's kind of hard to, though; the flames makes his face so much prettier than before.
Come on, Kenshin. Just get through tonight, tomorrow, and Monday, and we'll be back to Kyoto.
"Dude, take your fucking marshmallow out, you're going to char it!" Sanosuke bellows out angrily and Yahiko takes his own twig away from the flames.
And he's right. The marshmallow has been burnt to a crisp. Still, Yahiko shrugs and smiles sheepishly, "Gives it that extra crunch, ya know?"
"Tch!" Sanosuke snorts.
"Oh, don't be such a sourpuss," Megumi takes a bite of her cooked treat, "We have plenty of where that came from. So what if he burned his first one?"
Yahiko tries to take a bite of his creation, wincing, "Okay, I was kidding. This is bad."
We all laugh at him, making him deflate like a little kid.
"Did you sleep well last night, Kenshin?" Kaoru asks me off guard, and I whimper painfully as I accidentally take too large of a bite into the red hot treat of mine, "Ah! Are you okay, honey?!"
"Next time, blow on it." Aoshi smirks in my direction, crossing his arms in front his chest coolly as Misao feeds him the marshmallow like she's his slave or something. Bastard.
I hold my burned lips, "Yeah.. I think so."
"Let me see your mouth.." Kaoru leans closely to cup my face in her hands, inspecting it.
I blush, knowing all too well who's right behind us and watching me. Please don't throw me in the fire, Soujiro! She started it!
"I don't see anything.." Her eyes soften, "Maybe I should kiss it."
I freeze internally. Should I let her? Soujiro would chew my ass out over this if I let her. But at the same time, if I reject her, how will that look to everybody else? Ugh, this sucks! I mean, I don't mind kissing Kaoru. She feels and smells nice to cuddle and kiss. It's the fact that now that my heart secretly belongs to Soujiro.. It's like I'm cheating on him right back in return of what we both did last night. I feel so cheap. But I gulp, closing my eyes, letting her lean in and kiss my burned lips. God fucking dammit.
"Awwww, oh my gosh!" Misao gushes across from us.
"Woohoo, Kenshin! Get it!" Sano whoops. Kill me.
I lean back to break the kiss, smiling painfully, "Thanks, babe."
Oh my God.
"You're such an asshole."
That was what Soujiro whispered to me later on that night when everyone has gone to bed. We both had waited until we were sure that the two guys sleeping across from us wouldn't be able to hear our private conversation. We had enjoyed the bonfire for a few hours after that embarrassing incident, but I could tell Soujiro's entire mood was ruined for having to witness me kissing Kaoru again. I mean, what choice did I have? It's either I kiss her and have everyone be none the wiser of what I'm really up to, or I reject her kiss and create drama where none is needed. I smartly chose the former for a reason. I didn't wanted to come out yet with Soujiro. I still need time to prepare.
"I know." I whisper back, rubbing my face into my pillow, as if ashamed.
Silence.
"But.. You did good." I can hear Soujiro smirking in the dark, "I would've done the same."
"I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
"Let's just.. get through this weekend as best we can, okay?"
"Okay." Soujiro reaches out to touch my hand, "I love you."
My heart thumps and I smile weakly, "I love you too."
"Sweet dreams."
"Okay, stop being mushy." I bite down my chuckle, and Soujiro does the same.
"Okay."
"Kiss me before I sleep." I simper, and he carefully moves over so that we kiss each other on the lips chastely, legs intertwining. It feels so good to be able to sleep next to Soujiro on this trip. I'm glad I could have at least this to look forward to each night during our trip.
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The trip went well. On Sunday, we drove out to the shopping mall that Aoshi talked about back in Kyoto, and brought some stuff. Soujiro paid for it all, of course, and I can't help but feel guilty. He's done so much for me, it's insane. He gave my stepfather a job, clothes and food for my friends, helping me with school, and not to mention.. Loving me even though I don't deserve it. The more he gives, the more I fall for him. And the more I take, the more I want to return the favor. On Monday afternoon, we all drove back home and Aoshi dropped us all off at our respective houses. He let off Soujiro first before the rest of us, sorta as a token of appreciation for picking up the extra tabs on Sunday. We shared our good byes with a secret smile to each other, and that was it.
I miss him so much already.
hey soujiro
yeah? (;
you busy today?
huh? oh no, not really.
is your dad home?
he left for a business meeting. said he'll sleep over somewhere else. i think he met someone. why you ask? ;)
you winking means you know exactly what i'm thinking.
i wanna see it in writing.
I bite my lower lip, hardening. I'm sitting on my bed at home after Aoshi dropped me off. And although school is out for everyone, the adults still have to work in their jobs. Which means Hiko isn't home and neither is Soujiro's father. Which gives us ample opportunities to fuck around together. That long weekend away from his hole proved difficult. I'd hate to that again after this. I have to see Soujiro as soon as possible.
i want to fuck you. let me come over.
give me an hour so that i can shower and set up our little play room. see you at my front door.
Alright, swell. I have to take a shower as well. I really did not felt like getting naked in front of Sano and the other guys in the public shower stalls. Although I know that there's no evidence of me having had sexual relations with Soujiro during the trip (just that first night together), it still feels like I'm baring too much already. I guess Soujiro felt the same, because he skipped that too. We just told everyone that we just wanted to leave and shower in our own bathrooms comfortably. Luckily, nobody raised any alarms or concerns.
Megumi did pointed out a small bruise on the side of Soujiro's neck, though. He laughed and told her it was from Sayo, and although she didn't looked like she brought it.. she shrugged and moved on.
We really have to be fucking careful next time. That was a close call.
I took a shower, shaving my face and brushing my teeth meanwhile during it. I wash my hair and actually took the time to comb it through. Which, without some the moisturizing aid of a conditioner, was a bit of a challenge. I grit my teeth painfully as I comb through every snarls and tangles. Afterwards, I sprayed some deodorant that belonged to Hiko, since he brought a new can that smells unusually pleasant. I check myself in the mirror, wiping the fog off of it with my hand. I check my face for any patches of stubble that I might've forgotten, and did the touch ups from over the sink. I check my nails, deciding I want to clip them. I even went through the trouble of applying an aftershave on my face and neck, just so I can smell better. I had a difficult time finding just the right outfit, too.
Yeah. I don't understand what's going on with me, either.
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the copy of the house key is under the potted plant on your right next to the front door. ;)
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I open and close the door behind me to the mansion, setting the copy key inside my jean pocket. The mansion seems so quiet, it's spooky. I wonder where Soujiro is. Maybe he's waiting for me upstairs in his bedroom. Even though he said his father has gone to work, I still feel hyper vigilant. I walk into the living room, looking around suspiciously. Hopefully the cleaning team and any butlers or maids are gone, too. The kitchen looks empty as well. I sigh, feeling a little more relaxed. Satisfied, I climb up the rotating stairs to go up a level. I walk towards Soujiro's bedroom door, feeling myself hardening and my breath shaking. Well, here goes nothing.
Why am I so nervous still?
I open his bedroom door, "Soujiro?"
"Hi."
My eyes snap open, startled at what I'm seeing: Soujiro, sitting on his canopy bed, completely stark naked and surrounded by a wide variety of different BDSM toys. Looks like he's prepared for an entire day of fun. I gulp dryly, closing the door behind me, "Holy mother of fuck."
"Language!" Soujiro taunts me playfully, brows furrowed and a smirk. Gah, he's adorable!
He instructs me to take off all my clothes, and I smile deviously, doing what he says. I then walk on over to sit down in front of him on his bed, looking at all the toys surrounding us. There's so much to choose, I don't know how to begin with this. I let my eyes dance around, taking my sweet time. Soujiro quietly waits for me, smiling. I hum to myself as I look around again: Glass butt plugs. Anal beads. Leather whip. A flogger. Handcuffs. Nipple clamps (hello old friend!). Dildos of different sizes and colors. A "thug double fucker", which looks like a dildo on a ring for my own cock to slide in and that way, I can do double penetration on him. Whew! Tit suckers. Duct tapes. Ropes. And..
What's this?
I lean on my side to retrieve an item and I inspect it carefully. It's like a thin silver rod, around 6 inches long. I blink, feeling lost.
"Oh that," Soujiro leans forward, "That's a sounding rod."
"Sounding rod?"
"Mmm-hmm." His smile spreads and his eyelids lower, "Sounding is a type of sex act where you place this thing inside your urethra."
I balk, "What the fuck? That's crazy!"
"Wanna try it?"
I blush deeper, "Dude, no! I like my dick!"
He doubles over laughing, "Oh my God! I meant, on me!"
My eyes grow wider, "Y.. You want me to.. insert this inside your..?!"
He sits back, spreading his legs, "Take lots of lube from that bottle next to you. It'll be fun. I promise."
(To be continued)