A/N: To everyone reading this story, thank you. To bee-327 and Chelsietx, thank you so very much for taking the time to leave me lovely reviews. It's much appreciated, as always. Thank you all a million!
But where are the rest of you wonderful people? I know you're reading, well, at least I hope you are, but I would really love to know your thoughts too. It'll be much appreciated. Thank you!
Coming into the bedroom after his shower, Joseph found Clarisse on the bed, laid back against her pillows piled up against the headboard behind her with the sheets pulled up to her waist. Her eyes were closed, and one arm was resting around her stomach, while her other arm was bent up in front of her, her hand cupping her face. "Are you asleep?" He asked softly and walked over to the bed as she lowered her hand from her face and folded her arm with her other arm resting across her stomach while turning her head slightly towards him.
"Nearly," she said, opening her eyes to find him standing beside the bed in nothing but a pair of boxers. "A few more minutes and I think I would have been."
"You didn't have to wait for me, you know?" He said as he pulled the sheets covering his side of the bed back and climbed into bed beside her. "You could have gone to sleep."
"I know, but I wanted to wait for you," Clarisse said, grabbing the ends of the sheets that were gathered around her waist and lifted them as she turned to lay now on her side so she was facing him and watched as he pulled the covers up over himself as he laid back against his pillows too. "I wanted to make sure that you were okay?"
"I think I am, yes," he said, lifting his arm up momentarily above her head before wrapping it around her shoulders as she moved closer to him on the bed, to snuggle into the crook of his arm while wrapping her arm around his waist. "Are you?" He asked, his hand going to rest on her arm wrapped around him.
"I am," she nodded and closed her eyes a moment at the feel of the tips of his fingers running featherlight circles over the back of her shoulder. "I meant what I said before, you know? About meeting with Esmée."
"I know you did," he nodded and watched as Clarisse tipped her head back to look up at him. "I just don't know how I feel about it, you meeting with her. Especially after everything that has happened."
"I know that you're worried about it, but honestly, you don't have to be. I will go and meet with her, like she requested, and see what she has to say. Then we will get the paternity test and come straight back home," Clarisse said as she pushed herself up to lean on her elbow beside him.
"But why does she want to meet with you first? That's what I want to know," Joseph said as she moved her hand from his waist up onto his chest.
"I do too, and we will find out soon enough," Clarisse said and studied her husbands face a moment as he placed his hand on top of hers resting on his chest and stared blankly up at the ceiling.
"What is so important that she needs to prolong getting this test? Surely it would be a priority getting it done so that we all know for sure," he said, his mind a million miles away.
"Yes it is a priority. Well, at least it should be, but I already told you. She's being difficult and trying to cause problems between us because she can't stand the fact that I am finally happy and with you, the only man I have ever loved," Clarisse said and watched as he finally looked at her. "But listen, since I haven't been well, we haven't really talked about all of this yet. But how do you feel about the idea of potentially being a father?"
"Honestly? I haven't really thought about it, I've tried not to," he said, averting his gaze back up to the ceiling. "I can't allow myself to really, I need to find out for sure first. Then that way I can't be disappointed if it turns out that she isn't mine."
"That's understandable," she nodded and watched as he looked back at her a long, silent moment. "What's the matter?" She asked, giving him a small smile.
"You won't leave me, will you?" He asked quietly. His heart now pounding in his chest at the mere thought of her leaving him if the test reveals that the child is, in fact, his.
"Are you kidding? Why would you ever think that I would leave you?" She asked, somewhat surprised and shook her head.
"Well because if the child is mine, it will mean that I have a child with your sister," he said and watched as she shook her head once again. "And there's not many women who would hang around after this."
"Don't be silly. If the child does turn out to be yours I'm not going anywhere," she said as she gazed into his eyes. "Yes the situation isn't ideal, what with her mother being my sister, and it'll probably raise eyebrows. But it took us long enough to get together in the first place, I'm not about to just throw what we have now away and leave because of it."
"Thank you," he said softly while lifting his hand from where it had been resting lovingly over her hand on his chest and slowly brushed her hair back behind her ear.
"Whatever for?" She asked as he now cupped her face in his hand.
"For standing by me, and for agreeing to meet with Esmée when you really didn't have too, given the circumstances," Joseph said as she moved her hand up from his chest to cup his jaw.
"You don't need to thank me, my love, we are in this together," she said and reached up just a little to give him a quick kiss. Her hand still cupping his jaw. Before pulling her head back and looking into his eyes. "You should know that I'm not just going to let you go and face all this alone. I'm your wife now, remember. We stand by each other, no matter what life throws at us. No matter how tough you are either, it certainly helps having your wife by your side."
"And here's me thinking I couldn't possibly fall in love with you anymore than what I already have," he said, his thumb stroking back and forth over her cheek as she briefly looked down at his chest with a chuckle before looking back up into his eyes. "Wow. And again." He smirked.
"Come on," she said and placed her hand back down on his chest and nudging him gently as he laughed, "you should know that I will be there by your side supporting you."
"I do, I know," Joseph smiled and lifted his head to kiss the corner of her mouth before pulling back to gaze into her eyes while smoothing his thumb over her lips and moving his head closer to kiss her again. A slow, sensual kiss on the lips as they both closed their eyes.
Pulling back a moment later, Clarisse gave him a small smile and settled back down in the crook of his arm, her head resting on his chest, as his arm instinctively wrapped around her shoulders. "We should try and get some sleep now," she said, wrapping her arm around his waist.
"Yes, we should," Joseph agreed and placed his other hand on her arm, resting across his stomach. "You know what I was thinking about earlier?"
"No," she said with a slight shake of her head, "what was you thinking about earlier?"
"What day it is today," he said and watched as she slowly tipped her head back to look up at him a moment.
"Me too," she nodded and moved her head back to how it was just a moment before. "And the dance that we shared that night down by the dock."
"Yeah," Joseph said softly as he stared up at the ceiling. "That was nice."
Stepping out onto the back patio Clarisse looked up at the clear night sky and studied the blanket of beautiful stars twinkling above her a moment as she pulled the shawl that she had wrapped around herself before coming outside tight around her shoulders and folded her arms to keep it together as she began making her way slowly past the pool and down towards the dock. Where her two sons had spent the last hour.
"Hello," she said cheerfully as she approached the seating area where they were sat laughing and joking together and watched as they both turned to look at her. "What are you both laughing about?"
"Oh nothing much," Pierre smiled as he rose to his feet. "We were just about to head into bed in a few moments."
"Oh, don't let me stop you," Clarisse smiled as she stood beside her eldest son and smoothed one of her hands up and down the top part of her arm. "I've just come out to get a bit of air before I turn in for the night."
"Ahh," Philippe nodded and got to his feet. "I don't mind sitting out here with you if you'd like some company?"
"Me neither, of course," Pierre smiled.
"Oh no, don't be silly. You both get off to bed. I'll be fine," Clarisse smiled and watched as Philippe walked around the seat he had been sitting in just moments ago to stand in front of her. "Joseph will be about somewhere. He'll keep me company I'm sure." She said as she turned slightly and glanced around the garden behind her before turning and looking back at her sons.
"Yes, good ol' Joseph," Philippe laughed and glanced to his brother before looking back at their mother. "Always there, lurking in the shadows."
"Yes, he is," Clarisse nodded with a small laugh and looked down momentarily before looking back up at her sons. "He's never usually that far away."
"Is father in bed?" Pierre asked while slipping his hands in his pants pockets.
"He is, yes," Clarisse nodded. "Has been for a little while now, actually. I think the dinner took it out of him."
"Yeah, remember he didn't have a nap this afternoon either," Pierre said, and they all nodded.
"Anyway, you better get off to bed," Clarisse said as both Pierre and Philippe looked back at her. "You have an early start in the morning, what with you heading back to the palace."
"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Pierre asked. "Because we really don't mind staying out here with you if not."
"Of course I'm going to be okay, I am a grown woman, you know?" Clarisse exclaimed, and they all laughed.
"Alright well, we will see you in the morning then, mother," Pierre said as he pulled one hand from his pants pocket and reached it out onto the side of her arm as he stepped closer, to kiss her cheek goodnight.
"Yes you will," Clarisse nodded and watched as Pierre turned to start making his way up to the house before stopping and turning back to her and his brother.
"Goodnight mother," Philippe smiled as he stepped closer to her and kissed her cheek as she reached one hand up onto his shoulder. "We will see you nice and early."
"Of course, goodnight," Clarisse smiled as Philippe turned and began to make his way towards his brother. "I'll see you both in the morning."
"Goodnight," Pierre smiled and turned to walk back up to the house beside his brother.
Smiling, Clarisse watched them a moment before turning to the seating area and moving around one of the chairs to sit down in it with a sigh. The day had been long, and she was tired, but she needed to relax a little before bed. She needed to unwind. Or she feared she would never find sleep.
Leaning to one side, she rested her arm on the armrest of her chair and uncharacteristically crossed her legs before tipping her head back and looking once again up at the beautiful twinkling lights that filled the darkness above her. She found sitting out here by the dock quite relaxing. Especially at night when the sky was dark and all you could see was the breathtaking glow of the stars.
"They say that the darkest nights produce the brightest stars," Joseph said as he approached Clarisse and watched her turn in her seat to look at him.
"Yes, that is certainly true tonight," Clarisse nodded, her gaze following him as he walked around the chair opposite her and sat down. "Hello," she smiled, "I was wondering if you were going to join me tonight or not."
"Of course," he said, flashing her his gorgeous smile as he set his scotch down on the table between them. "Don't I always?" The truth was he loved to sit out with her at night. It's his favourite pastime. Spending that time alone with her, star gazing together.
"Yes, you do," she smiled and turned back properly in her seat with a contented sigh. "At least the sky is clear tonight, the first time since we arrived last week."
"Yes, it's a perfect night for star gazing tonight," he said, nodding in agreement, and looked up at the sky a long moment before averting his gaze down to look at her sitting in the chair opposite him. She looked as gorgeous as ever sat there with her head tipped back, looking up at all the twinkling lights above them. She was certainly the brightest star in his sky, and she knew it.
Smiling, he sat forward and folded his arms together on the table in front of him. Watched her a moment before looking up into the sky, just as a shooting star shot over them. "Quick, a shooting star. Make a wish?" He said, looking back down at her and smiling as she closed her eyes.
"Wish made," she smiled and opened her eyes to look at him across the table.
Smiling, he picked up his glass of scotch and lifted it to his mouth. "It must feel odd being here today. Usually, you throw an anniversary ball back at the palace."
"Yes, we do. But it had to be different this year," Clarisse nodded and turned her head to look out at the dock as Joseph took a sip of his drink.
"He's not doing so good, is he? The King." He asked softly and set his glass back down on the table as Clarisse turned her head to look back at him.
"Not really, no, he's getting tired. And between you and me, he hasn't much longer left," she said with a shake of her head. "I'm sorry, though, but I don't really want to spend our time together tonight talking about that. I want to be happy."
"Of course," he said and looked down at his glass of scotch sitting on the table in front of him before reaching his hand out to it and slowly pushing it towards her with a mischievous smirk. "There's plenty more where that came from."
"Thank you," Clarisse smiled and reached a hand out to pick up his glass as he pulled out a hip flask from the inside pocket of his jacket. "What's this? Hiding a hip flask in your pocket while on duty?" She teased. "You'll be in trouble with the boss if you're not careful."
"Actually I'm not on duty tonight, well not technically anyway," he smirked and watched her laugh a little before taking a big drink of his scotch and grimacing as it burned her throat. "I forget you're not much of a scotch drinker."
"Nope," she gasped and put her free hand up to cover her mouth as she shook her head and briefly closed her eyes. "I do drink it occasionally, but I'm more of a champagne or wine drinker. You know that." She said, her voice raspy, and they both laughed.
"I can go in and get you a glass of wine, if you'd prefer? Or even a glass of champagne, I'm sure there'll be a bottle of that in the fridge too," he said, and she shook her head. "It is your anniversary, after all."
"No no, this is fine. Thank you," she said, looking down at the glass in her hand before looking back up at him. "Just don't let me have too much of it. I know I want to be happy, but I can't be getting drunk. Not tonight."
"I won't," Joseph said, and they both laughed before she took another drink of his scotch, this time, however, a much smaller sip.
"It wasn't so bad this time," she smiled and set his glass back down in the middle of the table between them, "but you better have some, it is your drink after all."
"Ahh, like I said," he smiled and winked at her as he lifted up the hip flask from the table, "there's plenty more where that came from."
"Alright," she smiled while looking back up at the night sky and extended both of her arms out either side of her, to rest them over the armrests of her chair with another contented sigh.
"You know the only thing that I'm missing about not having the usual anniversary ball tonight is the dancing," Clarisse said thoughtfully a short time later and nodded as she looked back at her best friend taking a drink of his scotch.
"Oh, you should have said something before," Joseph smiled as he set his glass back down on the table and got to his feet. "If you want to dance, then dancing is what we shall do."
Sitting up in surprise, Clarisse lifted her arms from the armrests and placed her hands down onto the tops of her legs as she watched him extend his hand out to her while moving around the table. "But there isn't any music?" She said in amusement and turned her head to the side ever so slightly to study him a moment.
"We don't need any music when I can sing for us," he smiled down at her. Watched as she lifted one hand from her leg and slipped it slowly into his. "I have done it before, so why not tonight?"
He was right, this wasn't the first time they had danced together with him singing the song. And she was pretty sure it wouldn't be the last either. But she was surprised that this was how she was spending her wedding anniversary, dancing out by the dock with her best friend and the only man she had ever really loved, while her husband slept up in the lodge.
"Alright, why not," she smiled and bit her bottom lip in nervous anticipation as she rose to her feet and stepped closer to him, to close the distance between them while raising her arm up and wrapping it around the top of his arm as her hand rested against the back of his shoulder. Her other hand remaining in his grasp at the side of them.
Looking into her eyes, Joseph began to sing a song he knew she loved while wrapping his free arm around her waist, his hand pressing against her back under her shawl as they began to sway slowly together right there beside the lake. "Close your eyes - close the door. You don't have to worry anymore."
And by the time he had finished the song, her head was resting so delicately on his shoulder. If anyone saw them who didn't know exactly who they were, they would be mistaken in thinking that it was, in fact, those two who were celebrating their anniversary. Not just one of them.
"You have such a lovely singing voice. It's very relaxing," Clarisse said as they continued to sway slowly together.
"You tell me that every time you hear me sing," Joseph chuckled.
"Well I can't help it if it's true," she said and lifted her head from his shoulder to look up into his sexy blue eyes, "and, you sang one of my favourite songs."
"I know," Joseph nodded with a smile as they came to a slow stop, "it's my favourite too."
"I remember," Clarisse nodded and tilted her head ever so slightly as she studied his face. "I see you there in all my favourite songs now. I didn't intend to, of course, but there you are. Every time. And I think I always will now."
Letting go of her hand at the side of them, Joseph raised his hand up and gently cupped her face, causing a shiver to run down through her back as she closed her eyes at the sensation. The feel of his hand against her cheek. They both knew what the other was thinking, and they both knew it was wrong. But neither of them stopped it or pulled away.
"If ever there is a time or perhaps in another life, would you consider choosing me?" He asked softly, watching as she opened her eyes to look back up at him.
"You bet I would," she smiled and nodded gently.
The look he gave her, the desire she saw in his eyes and the sexy half smile he flashed her caused her stomach to somersault for the hundredth time that day and she suddenly, her heart beating wildly in her chest, found herself reaching up until her lips were pressed oh so deliciously against his.
A moment of heaven. A moment of fireworks. A moment of madness.
The kisses she experienced with him were always so exquisite, and they took her breath away. Stirred something deep within her. Each and every time. Sure, her husband had kissed her during the course of their marriage, mainly whenever they made love, which wasn't all that often. But the kisses they shared never felt like the ones she shared with Joseph. They were soft and tender. So magical and electric. So much so that she never wanted them to end. But they had to. She was married.
Pulling back, Clarisse raised her hand up to cover her mouth briefly with her fingers as they stared at each other a long, agonising moment. What had she just done. "I am so," but before she could finish what she was saying, his lips met hers in another kiss. She hadn't even seen him move towards her, just felt his lips upon hers.
Feeling his hand now lightly on the side of her neck, his thumb resting against her jaw, she pulled back once again and looked up into his eyes. "You know I love you, don't you?" She asked, her gaze searching his.
"Yes I do," Joseph nodded, his thumb now smoothing over her red swollen lips from the deep kisses they had just shared. "And you know that I love you?"
"I do, of course," she whispered and briefly closed her eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. "But this is as far as it's going to go."
Nodding, Joseph lifted his head, and their gaze met once again. "I know."
Oh, how she wanted him. Longed to feel his firm body upon hers, longed to experience what so many women rave about, something she has yet to experience herself. Something she had been deprived of during the whole of her marriage to Rupert, but somehow knew that Joseph could, and would, if given the chance, satisfy her in the way she so longed to be satisfied. "I am sorry, you know?"
"Don't be sorry," Joseph said softly and nodded, his thumb now stroking back and forth over her cheek. Oh, how he longed to be with her. Take her to bed and make love to her. Treat her and love her the way she so deserved. They had come so close to over the years, but they always stopped themselves before they went too far. Before they crossed the line of no return. "I understand."
"You know, I would shout that I love you from the rooftops, if I could," she said softly and watched him look down between them with a small smile on his lips.
"I know, me too," Joseph nodded and looked back up at her as he lowered his hand from her face. Resting it now against her side.
"If only I was brave enough, or perhaps if circumstances were different, then we would be together." Clarisse said softly and raised her hand up now to cup his face.
"I know," Joseph nodded and looked deep into the most captivating blue eyes he had ever seen. Eyes that made his tummy flutter and his heart melt every time he looked into them. "My heart has ached so long for you, to be with you. It always will. And though we may not be able to be together, you will always have a special place in my heart that no one else could ever have."
Nodding, Clarisse reached up and gave him one last kiss on his lips. Letting it linger a moment before pulling back and gazing up into his eyes. "I should go and get to bed," she said and took a step back.
Nodding, he watched her pull her shawl tight around her shoulders as she glanced to the lake beside them. "Goodnight."
Looking back at him, she gave him a small smile. "Goodnight."
Taking a deep breath she made her way slowly back up to the lodge and into the kitchen, where once she had closed the door behind her she folded her arms and turned to the room to find Pierre stood at the fridge. "Hello," she said in surprise and watched him turn his head to look over at her. "I thought you had gone to bed?"
"I had," he nodded and stepped back while closing the fridge door. "But I wanted a drink, and here I am." He smiled and held up a bottle of water as he stepped closer to the countertop.
"Ahh, okay," Clarisse nodded and began walking across the room towards the door leading to the hallway.
"Is Joseph still out there?" He asked while setting the bottle of water down on the counter and watched as she suddenly stopped and turned to look over at him. "I mean, you mentioned earlier that he might come and keep you company while you were out there. So, I just wondered if he did?"
"Yes, he did," she nodded and tightened her folded arms, "and yes, he's still out there."
"Alright," Pierre nodded and watched her a moment as she stood looking over at him. "Well Goodnight. That is where you are going now, isn't it? To bed?"
"Yes it is," Clarisse nodded and slowly turned to continue walking over to the door. "Goodnight."
Placing his hands on the countertop either side of the bottle of water, Pierre watched his mother disappear through the doorway before slowly turning his head to look over at the patio doors she had come through just moments earlier.
Reaching the top of the stairs a few moments later, Clarisse spotted Rupert standing outside his bedroom door in his robe, looking down the hallway at her. "Is everything okay?" She asked, walking now towards him.
"Oh yes," he nodded, watching her come to stand in front of him, "I was waiting for you."
"Oh," Clarisse replied and studied his face a moment. How did he know that she would be up now? Had he seen her outside with Joseph. If so, just how much had he seen.
"I know you have him in your heart and that you have done for some time," Rupert said, taking her by surprise, and watched as she turned her head to the side. "I have, after all, seen a few things between you over the years."
Oh god, he had seen them outside together. She panicked, her heart now pounding in her chest, and looked back at him with her brows furrowed. But what else had he seen? "Rupert, I can explain."
"There's no need," Rupert said softly with a shake of his head and stepped closer to her. "I know that you both love one another and that you have done for some years. In some ways, I am glad that he does love you. Because I could never love you the way I should have, and I know that he will be there for you too when my time comes, and in time, I'm quite sure, you will both find a way to be together. And quite rightly so, too. He's a good, honourable man. He'll take care of you. He's already proved that."
Had he just given her his blessing to be with Joseph, when he was gone?
"Rupert, I'm sorry, I-," Clarisse began, only to stop when she saw him shake his head.
"You have absolutely no reason to be sorry, Clarisse," Rupert said and studied her a moment as she looked down between them. "I wonder, though, if I might ask you to do something for me?"
"What's that?" She asked and looked back up at him.
"I wonder if you might spend tonight with me, just one last time?" He asked. "And I say one last time because you and I both know that I don't have much longer left. Not after the conversation we had with the doctor the other week."
"I know," she nodded sombrely.
She wasn't sure if it was the guilt, the need to just be close to someone, or if it was the scotch she'd consumed while outside with Joseph, but she found herself nodding at his request and taking hold of his hand to lead him into his bedroom. Where she spent the night with him.
However, unbeknownst to her, there had been someone else who had seen her outside with Joseph that night. Not just Rupert.