Author's note: Hi guys, hope you had a wonderful weekend! :) I'm sorry for being a bit late with this update, and I'm also sorry that it's another short update. However, I do promise that things will pick up the pace in the next update, so hang on to your jammies! I haven't done this in a while, but I am now going to respond to each of your lovely reviews like I used to do during my first fanfiction.
Jefcat: I agree. Soujiro is a lot tougher than most people seem to get. I mean, for God's sake, he lost his parents at a young age, was practically enslaved by his crazy family, nearly got killed by the same crazy family, killed them before they got to him, and became Shishio's BFF. Nobody is going to be totally submissive or feminine after all of that! And truthfully, gender roles be damned! Soujiro is awesome and that's all that matters! And yeah, am a bit sorry about the previous technical issues, but will try my best to not let those happen again. :c
Cannibal Corncob: I was legit rolling over my bed laughing when I got your review. I think we should just appreciate the roles that Kenshin and Soujiro plays whenever we come across anything about them yaoi-ish. Kenshin always seem to play the more submissive role when it comes to other pairings like him with Sanosuke, or him with Shishio (eugh), or him with Aoshi. But when I imagine him with Soujiro, I don't know how or why, but like.. I just see him become a top and Soujiro as a bottom. And that's totally okay. Like, let's just.. breathe and appreciate that. Jesus would want you to.
Bone Deep: Yeah, I'll admit, I was hasty with the last update, but had wanted to push the boundaries a bit with the characters. And I'm glad I did. I'm not a male, nor am I a gay male, so I really don't know, but I do know that men in general seem to take on that kind of pain better than women can. Not that I'm advocating just shoving it in to any dude who is reading this! Are there even any dudes that are reading my fics? Because I'm about to die from embarrassment, especially if they're bi or gay. I bet they're thinking, "I'm gonna teach this girl how it's done! Stupid girl!" lmao! If you have gay friends, please don't direct them here!
PS! I will post the prologue for a new KenSou fanfic this friday on July 12th! The next update for THIS fanfic will then be pushed forward to July 19th!
Enjoy this update! Blah blah blah, sexual content, you know the drill.
"I've got two faces
Blurry's the one I'm not
I've got two faces
Blurry's the one I'm not."
- Twenty One Pilots
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The air isn't what I remember it to be. It's nothing but ash.
I open my eyes, finding myself stranded in the middle of an Earth full of gravel and darkness. Where am I? I look around me, convinced that I'll find another life form, but I am standing here by myself. The sky above me is pitch black, but for some reason, I can see my hands, my feet, and the ground just fine. I blink, grunting. Is this another dream? I wonder what I am going to see this time. The last dream I had was with Soujiro and a ring of corpses floating all around him. What will I witness in this dream, and what could it possibly mean?
"Soujiro?" I call out as I walk forward, "Hey, Soujiro? Are you out here? Where are you? Answer me!"
I continue on forward despite not hearing him or anyone else answering me back. Where is everyone? This isn't real. I know it isn't, but it still feels ugly. Sometimes when I have dreams like this, I have to ask myself if what I'm really experiencing is death by momentum. I don't think we ever really know if the life we experience is real, or if it's someone else's dream. Philosophical dilemma, I know. I don't know what prompted me to do this, but I look up at the skies as it took on a different hue now, black fading into a deep navy blue. Just like the sea. Stars blink into existence and sparkle quietly, and I blink once and let out a startled gasp at what I'm looking at.
...
What is that thing?
A giant eye takes up nearly the majority of the skies now, buried in the bright cosmos and joining with the rest of the stars. It's iris is a steep dark red and is looking at nothing in particular, unblinking and completely still. My stomach churns. I don't like how that looks. It's dangerous.
"Hey.." I speak to myself, frowning at the skies, "What is that..?"
I blink and thankfully, the eye is no more. Replaced it were now these sea creatures slowly swimming in the skies; sharks, octopuses, fish of all kinds, turtles, dolphins, and more. Am I underwater? I look down at my feet, convinced that I will be floating in a watery and languid motion. But I'm still on gravel. That's so strange. I look up ahead and see the person that I've been looking for. Soujiro stands there and looks back at me, smiling as if none of this is happening. He looks so sweet and I'm so happy to see him! My heart thumps upon seeing his face and I smile, running up towards him. I slow down to a jog and then walk leisurely the nearer I come to him, until I stop right in front of him. He looks so happy to see me.
"Soujiro?"
He doesn't answer, but he does smile with his eyes.
Ugh, I don't care. I just embrace him and inhale the smell of his hair, surprised to find not of his usual shampoo smell, but of something else. It smells sweaty, like.. I gulp. It smells like how he always smells like after we've had sex. At that thought alone, my groin feels a pulse, groaning under my throat. Oh man. Will this be a hot sex dream? I think I'm down for it. In the next blink, Soujiro and I are stark naked and doing a classic sixty-nine, sucking each other off. The sea creatures continue to swim on above us and are happily ignoring us. I can feel Soujiro's tongue playing with my balls as I tickle the slit of his cock with my tongue. God, this feels so fucking good!
What was I so afraid of?
Just like that, we find ourselves standing in front of each other again. Completely clothed, as if what just happened before didn't happened. I frown, not liking what I'm seeing. Soujiro has his head down, facing the ground completely. I look up and all the sea creatures are gone. Where are they? Did we scared them off? Are they off to a different plane of existence? I look back at Soujiro, his head still bowing down. What is going on? My face feels clammy, and my hands are shaking. My heart is thumping, and I can't breathe suddenly. It feels so scary to be here all of a sudden. What's going on? Am I dead? Are we dead? Is this purgatory? Is this our hell?
What is..
"Soujiro.."
He looks up, his eyes completely blacked out except tiny red dots replacing the irises, and his smile wide and delirious:
"Ṁ̵̛͈̜̊̾͂̊͊͛͋̒̍́̒͂̓͊͌̆̇̇̐͘̕͝ỷ̷͉̱̲̬͙̞̝̩̰̦̠̬̹̏̆̌̈̌̓̎̀̉̄̇͛̓̿̐̕͘ ̴̨̺̩͉̰͈̫̲͇̌̚ą̶̢̛͕̞͇̟̠̯͓̪͔̞͍̬̺̦̗͉̭͍͎̗̻̺͓̹̜̃̐̈̂̀̎̓͋̿̓̅́́̏͋̿̂̕ͅṫ̸̡̢̨̛͉͈͚̯͇̫̩̳͚͉͎̪͇̇̀̃̈́̌̊̀͂̂͂͆̉̕͜e̶̙͂͌̽̀̓̉̚r̵̢̛̻͙̼͓͓̩̜̟͙͕̮̯̺͍̝̮̤̥̪̳͍̀̂̎̾͒̍̏̿͆͑̀̽̈́̀͗̀̌͑̈̽͑̆͝͠ͅ ̸̨̦̗̳̤̲͍͇͍̩̖̦͔̪̜͖̜̪͎͇͍̇́̐̌̊̈́̋̔́̆͂̓͐̑̀͌̎́̋̓̈́͐͋́͠͝͝ą̵̢̖̙͓̪̥̯̺̝͙̘̪̣̱̫̼͇̪̳͐̋̊̿̋̃͊̈́̃͆̚͜e̶̩̩͐̀̈́̓̀̓̊́̏̑͐̈́̎̋̿͒͒͐͋͘̕ͅd̴̢͔͖́́̓̽͘͘͠ ̴̛̪̪͎̝̺̥̼̪̦̇̀͋̐̐̿̐̔̈̾̒̉́͒̅̔́̅̒̽͆̑̚͠e̷̖͖̯͙̥͉͔͍̲̖͓̪̯̲̊̄̔̈̂͋̎̍̑́̋̆̈̎̚͠͝.̵̨̧̙͓̼͕̼͔̻̫̠͚͓̖͎̖͇̹͇͖̂͌͛̌̎̓̇͆̆̾͊̾̔͐̀́̎̈̑͐̈́̆̈́͌̅͒̕͜͠ͅ!"
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Soujiro..
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No..!
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Tell me that isn't true!
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I didn't tell Soujiro about that nightmare I had last night.
What's the point? I don't want to upset him.
When the morning came, Soujiro and I arrived back home safely in Kyoto. It was early in the afternoon when we came back to his mansion. His father isn't home, and neither are any of the cleaning crew. Of course. It's a holiday day.. and even the most privileged or under privileged folks are given their time off. We answered back everyone's texts that we are okay and that we are back in one piece, much to the relief of everyone. Kaoru asked me if I will accompany her the upcoming weekend for a date, and though it kills the both of us, Soujiro tells me to go ahead and accept it. He says we'll change it to a group outing thing at the last moment, anyway. So I text her yes, my heart dropping as soon as I hit 'Send'. Maybe I can break up with her before the weekend comes up so that I don't go to the movies.. and have Soujiro come with me to explain everything to her. It's going to be an ugly scene for sure, but..
Well.. what other choice do I have?
I just want to be with the one I love.
"Mmm, yeah.." Soujiro sighs, riding my face and having his back turned towards me so I can gain easier access to eat him out. Meanwhile, he's pumping my cock to coax it into life, spitting on it every so often for extra lubrication. Every time he does that or goes faster, my body freezes and flinches, desperate in getting all up inside of him. But I want to be patient today. I want to make sure everything is nice and slippery since I want to fuck the ever loving shit out of him. Waking up next to him in the hotel room hours ago.. the way the rosy glow from the day break made him look so perfect and beautiful.. Well, let's just say, I had to fight with myself for all of the morning to not have sex with him in front of people.
With my free hand, I smacked his ass, which made him yelp out loud. Which made me smirk like the son of a bitch I am.
"Kenshin!" He growls and I laugh.
"What?!" I chuckle harder, probing my tongue deep inside of him while he writhes and whines in pleasure.
"Hah!" Soujiro leans forward, shoulders shaking from what I'm doing, "Kenshin..!"
Moments later, Soujiro sits on my cock as I hump upwards to fuck him. I sometimes wonder how our sex life will turn out when we transfer to a university together. We will insist on sharing a dorm room or apartment together, and not let anyone else live with us. With his generous wealth, that shouldn't be an issue. I just don't want the professors or the student body to know of our private business. Maybe it'll all turn out okay and I'm just worrying over nothing. For now, I'm just enjoying my last year in high school by having the most amazing sex with the hottest boy in Kyoto. I sit up and kiss the side of his neck, continuing in plummeting my cock up his hole harder and running my hand over his nipples. He groans and so do I.
"Kenshin.. hmm!" He moans and spreads his legs further, driving me into a state of wild passion.
I fuck him harder and faster, biting the flesh on his neck before groaning in his ear, "God, you feel so good..!"
Moments later, I watch in amusement as Soujiro cums hard as fuck and seeing his jizz shoot up to many meters into the air, soiling his fancy carpet. Bad boy! If it was some male prostitute I was visiting, I'd force him to eat the cum off from the floor.. But I'm not going to do that with my dearly beloved boyfriend, so I just fuck him softly until I eventually cum inside his hole. I shiver and lean all the way flat on my back onto the mattress, Soujiro leaning his temples against mines as we try to catch our breaths. God. No matter how many times we fucked since the very first time.. it always feels brand new to us. Maybe this is the sign that I've finally met the love of my life. The one. All of that bullshit. I thought it was fake before I met Soujiro.. but with him in my life, I'm starting to believe in that gay shit.
Speaking of gay shit..
"I think I'm gay."
"H-huh?" Soujiro balks at me after we were done showering and we're now hanging out in the living room, watching TV.
I scoff, "You heard me! I think I'm gay! And I.. I guess.. I don't know. Is this.. something we should tell the gang? Along with what I've been doing with Kaoru and you at the same time? I mean, come on, Soujiro! I've never.. I've never felt this way for anyone before.. no other woman could ever compare to you.."
Soujiro gapes at me, ".. Kenshin.. I.. I don't know what to say.. about this.. about all of this.."
I lie my head down now on his lap, and he plays with my hair. We don't say anything for a while. I am feeling weird about saying all of that just now. But.. Maybe there is a shred of truth in there. I think I overemphasize my sense of masculinity and sexual prowess with women to get away from something. Before I thought, it was because I didn't wanted to end up like Hiko, or like my biological father; old, impotent, and powerless of everything and everyone else. I didn't wanted to be weak or vulnerable.. so I got into drinking, and got into smoking, and I got into criminal activities, and doing all kinds of tough boy shit. I got into fights with other kids, I got into trouble with the cops, and I wore a leather jacket so that other people would think twice before trying to mess with me. I fucked a lot of women and would think of other things while I was with them..
Things like boys around my age, receiving my cock instead of these women. I thought.. that was normal. I thought I was just crazy. But none of that couldn't possibly be normal, right? I thought I was just weird.
Until I met Soujiro.
And just like that, something grew inside of me. Something beautiful and frightening, all at once.
"K-Kenshin.." Soujiro clears his throat, "I mean.. You don't.. have to come out as gay if you're not ready to. It's very hard to come out as gay, even these days. Even in this country. It's not like.. we even have all the rights, yet.. You don't have to do that to yourself.. I mean.. you can always come out as bisexual.. That's definitely better, I think! Trust me, you don't.. You don't want to be like me, Kenshin! Being gay.. it's.. it's bad.. m-my father said so.."
"Dude," I cut in, glaring at him openly, "Fuck your father. What does he know? He's just like every other old person on this Earth. A fucking bigot who can't keep up with us or with the times. Leave him behind. Learn to stop vying for his attention or for his acceptance, because he's not going to give it to you. Got it?"
Soujiro looks down on his lap, not replying. Great. I went at him too hard again. I sigh, sitting up right again so that I can take him into my arms, kissing his cheek and playing with his hair gently.
"I'm sorry. I'm being an asshole again, aren't I?" I smirk to myself, ignoring that small pain in my chest for knowing I've hurt him again.
"A little.." He whispers, but kisses my lips with his anyway, "It's okay, though. You're right. Why can't I just understand that? He's never going to like me. My dad, I mean. I don't know why I continuously twist and break myself so that I can impress him, or so that he can love me properly. He's always been so cold to me, and.. I just hate it! I hate that he's so nice with a lot of people, but with me, he's so distant. I thought I just had to try harder and harder. But no matter how high my grades were, or how many times I've gotten on special listings in schools for my grade point average, or doing extra curricular activities or charity events or whatever else.. it's never enough. It'll never be enough. I just.. I just have to stop trying, I guess.."
"Well," I shrug with one shoulder, now rubbing his back soothingly with my hand, "You don't have to get his attention or his love anymore, but there's nothing wrong with continuing in bettering yourself as a human being. Your high grades will be the ticket to getting the fuck out of your dad's place. Your degree will be the passport in getting any cool job you want, from anywhere around the world. All of your hard work will be praised by people who will love you and care about you more than your father ever will. Not everyone has the best of parents.. hell, some people don't even have parents. But that says nothing about them, just like it doesn't say anything about you as a person. If your father doesn't accept you, Soujiro, for you truly are.. that says more about him than it does about you. Got it?"
"Oh, Kenshin.." He looks at me now with a smile and tear stricken eyes, "You really are good to me, you know that?"
"You're damn right I am." I smile a little wickedly before leaning in to kiss him full on now, tongues meeting each other.
Time for another fun round.
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The rest of the week was mundane. Everyone felt refreshed from the long break and are all gushing about the Christmas shit they did, or the presents they got from their loved ones. Even the teachers were lenient about the lessons or the homework they've been giving out. It feels relaxing, and kind of boring. But in a way, I like the pacing at the same time. It'll do us all good for the dramatic weekend of having to come out with Soujiro about our secret relationship to our friends, as well as breaking Kaoru's heart. Gah, I hate that it has to come down to that! I never, ever thought in my entire life, that I would be the dickhead to hurt Kaoru like this. I used to be concerned whenever she'd have a little crush on a guy back then, and would always tell her that he's not good enough to date her. And she always listened to my advice. Now look at what I did to her in return. She's gonna end up hating all men after this, I swear to God.
I just want her to hate me instead. That would be for the best for everyone involved, honestly.
In the group chat, Soujiro opens up with an invitation for the movie theaters this Saturday. Everyone agreed, and everyone became hyper about it like usual. Everyone except Soujiro and I, of course. Friday evening, with Soujiro's dad missing in action yet again, I come on over to his place for a sleep over. Only this time, it wasn't just us; we also invited Sanosuke and Yahiko. We figured, should the friendship experience irreversible damage and end up breaking up, we'd like to spend as much time with these two knuckleheads as possible. It hurts. Watching Sanosuke and Yahiko bickering over something stupid together, it hurts to know that they might not stay in my life after the weekend is over. I've known these guys for what felt like my entire life.. and all for that to disappear when my relationship with Soujiro solidifies. I wonder what else I am going to lose when our relationship becomes public? I wonder what other catastrophes will occur when we come out together? What will Soujiro's father do with this information? How will my own father react to this? Will he go back to drinking? Will the teachers at our school no longer support Soujiro and may even start marking his grades lower out of spite?
I bite my lower lip, looking down at my arms crossing over my chest as I sit on the living room sofa while my friends are playing a video game together. We will lose so much with this confession, will we? Watching Soujiro laughing with Sanosuke and Yahiko, acting without a care in the world.. As if what's really happening underneath all of this is just a joke.. I couldn't help but grit my teeth. I don't get it. What's he so fucking happy about? I'm about to lose everything and everyone thanks to him! Does he even care? Is he just all smiles to hide the pain he feels inside? I mean.. How exactly are we going to break the news to his fucking father, of all people? The head CEO of an extremely well respected, wealthy empire that Japan has ever seen.. to have everyone know that his one and only son is a homosexual, sleeping with other boys.. No, not even just other boys.. A boy like me, a boy with nothing to his name.. How will the world treat us, then?
"To the left, dipshit!" Sanosuke yells out.
"No, to your right, asshole!" Yahiko retorts back.
"Guys, calm down!" Soujiro giggles, to which they both respond with a death glare back at him, "Yikes, never mind, then!"
"You guys are morons." I scoff.
"Hey, aren't you gonna join us anytime soon? We need a fourth for the combat." Sanosuke says, not bothering to turn around to face me.
"You can play defense if you're feeling lazy." Yahiko shrugs casually, in the middle of pressing so many buttons so quickly with his thumbs on the game controller.
Tch. Literal fucking man children. They kind of remind me of Hiko, in a weird sense. So full of themselves and not caring about anything or anyone else, except their own damn selves. Buncha dirty, low lives. Buncha lazy ass fuckheads who only care about the next drinking binge, or the next high, or the next time they get to bust a nut. I hate them. Not really hate them, but.. Right now, I just fucking hate them. Looking at them makes me sick to my stomach. Though I am slowly getting temperamental every time I look at Soujiro and his usual dumb ass puppy dog antics, I'm starting to really wanna kick my other friends' asses. Fuck them! Fuck them all to hell!
But.. I gotta calm down for tonight. For Soujiro's sake. He made this night happen for a good reason. A reason that will soon come to light tomorrow night. We have to have a good time if we're gonna ruin everyone's lives tomorrow evening. It's the least we could do.
"I'll pass." I begin to stand up and away from the couch to head down to the kitchen, "Anyone want anything?"
"Whoa, there." Sanosuke pauses the game to get a look at me, "You serious? Since when did you acted like you own this place? If anything, Soujiro should be the one to get us the bites and the beer."
I glower, "Cut the shit and just tell me what you want!"
Silence.
Yahiko chuckles uneasily, "H-hey, you guys, come on now. Let's calm down. I know Kenshin comes around here a lot, so it's like, normal, or whatever, with Soujiro. Right, Souji?"
Soujiro looks at all of us with shocked eyes, but before it went on for too long, he bounces back with an equally nervous giggle, "Uh, yeah! Yeah, it's okay if Kenshin wants to get us something from my fridge! I don't care! I have way too much food, anyway!"
Sanosuke and I glare at each other for a few moments. The air is thick with intense awkwardness. Any wrong move, and we'll be having a bloodbath up in here. Finally, Sano just scoffs and gets up to walk out of the living room, "Gonna go out for a smoke. Don't bother me."
"Hey.. what.." Yahiko is at a loss for words, his hand trying to reach out towards Sanosuke's direction and everything.
Soujiro and I look at each other, not knowing what to say.
Great. So much for a good sleepover.
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"You really have to calm down!" Soujiro chastises me in the kitchen only moments later, "We said we would have fun tonight so that they won't get too broken up over the news tomorrow. You said it. You promised!"
I wince, "I know.."
Silence.
"So then, what's wrong?" Soujiro takes my hands in his, trying to get me to look at him as I lean back against the counter where the sink rests, "What's going on with you? Are you mad about something? Is it something they did? Something I said? Are you mad at me?"
"No.." I shake my head, "No. It's none of those things."
"Then what's wrong?" Soujiro tries to lean in to give me a kiss, but I turn my face away to evade it.
"Soujiro. No. Not here. Not while.. they're over there." I mutter to myself, feeling myself blushing.
More silence. He sighs.
"Fine." He lets go of my hands and steps away from me to head on over to the fridge, "Do you want to eat or drink anything?"
"If I did before, I've lost my appetite now. So no." I look on the floor glumly. Just how mad is Sanosuke at me right now?
"I think," Soujiro smiles from over his shoulder where I can see him, "You should go over to Sanosuke right now and have yourselves a talk."
I growl, "Yeah, right!"
"Why not? Salvage this, Kenshin. Who knows.. maybe a good, deep talk.. is just what's needed to maybe save our friendships with the guys tomorrow.."
I lean away from the sink, "Gee, you sure fucking care about that all of a sudden, huh?!"
"Hmm?" Soujiro turns around completely to face me, "What do you mean by that?"
"I saw how happy and giggly you are with them tonight, knowing exactly the shit storm both of us will face with them tomorrow! Don't you care? Aren't you even a little bit scared of their reactions or losing them completely? I thought you liked my friends!"
"I love our friends.." He walks back over to me with his hands up, but unsure if he feels allowed to touch me or hold me right now, "But.. I love you so much as well, Kenshin. I don't.. I don't want us to live in secrecy anymore. Are you saying that you want us to keep being a secret like this? Do you really think waiting until we all graduate is going to cushion the blow for them?"
I grunt. He's right. There's no way out of this. Either I tell them now or later on, keep us both as a secret and paying the price for it every fucking day, or I break up with the love of my life. No matter what I choose, I fucking lose. I don't know what to do and I'm at a loss for what's the best route to take from here. But I do know one thing thing right now; Soujiro is right, in that I should at least go have a talk with Sanosuke right now. I shouldn't let him stand out there all by himself and being pissed off because I was being a typical piss baby. He's my.. Well.. He was my very best friend until Soujiro came along. It's only fair that I give respect to the one person who's been there for me for my entire life. It's not like his life was a bed of roses, either.
"I'll.. I'll go talk to Sano," I walk towards the door to exit out from the kitchen, "You just distract Yahiko so that he doesn't get a clue."
"And if he asks?"
"Just tell them that two bros gotta talk shit out and that it's no big deal."
Soujiro chuckles once, "Okay. Thank you. You're amazing."
I ignore my smile and blushing before heading out.
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I walk outside of the front porch, zipping up my leather jacket. The leather jacket that Soujiro lovingly bought for me. Heh. Anyway. Up ahead, I see Sanosuke leaning against a tree and smoking a cigarette leisurely. I sigh, burying my hands into my jacket pockets. Sanosuke Sagara. I've known you for so many years and we've been practically like brothers to each other. We were always together and we made each other into the young men that we are today. You taught me how to smoke and how to break glass bottles at the junkyard with a baseball bat. You taught me how to roll a joint and how to talk to women when I felt weird around them at fourteen years old. You taught me how to just try and ignore Hiko's drinking binges, just like I would help you bandage you up whenever your family members beat the shit out of you. We were gonna take over the world together, you and I.
What happened?
Oh, right.
Soujiro came along, and I fell in love. And I'm about to hurt you and all of our other friends. I forgot.
I walk on over to him, the sound of wet grass crunching under my combat boots. He doesn't turn around, but I could've sworn I heard him smirk and chuckle a little, knowing that someone has come looking for him. Maybe that's the thing with Sano. He knows that the world is unjust, and unkind. That he shouldn't be surprised if he isn't an important person or even worthy of any kind of respect. But whenever his friends come out looking for him, it always fucking surprises him each and every time. Oh, Sano. I hope one day you would stop putting yourself down like that. You are so much more important than you realize. At least.. to me, you are very much important. I'd die for you, you dumb shit. I smile bitterly as I am now next to him, wanting so much to just tear up, but I blink it away from my eyes. Don't be a sap, Kenshin. Just do what you have to do.
"Mind if I bum one?" I ask, rocking on my heels and tip toes.
He doesn't reply, but lifts up his box of cigarettes at me so that I can properly take one from it. As he hears me light it up with my own fluid lighter, he places his box away and sighs, a string of smoke forming a ribbon into the black sky.
"I'm here to say that I'm sorry for being a dick to you," I exhale, looking up at that same sky as he is too, "And for.. well.. Just me being me, I guess."
Sanosuke clears his throat, snarls, and spits on the ground next to him before replying, "Whatever."
My eye twitches, "C-come on, dude. You're not still mad at me, are you?"
"What's there to be mad about? It's obvious that you and Soujiro are now designated best buddies while I'm cut out from it."
My eyes widen, "Dude.. Nobody is ever going to replace you. Especially not some rich kid living in this big house!"
Sanosuke smiles sadly at his shoes now, "Yeah.. I hope not. It was really starting to hurt my feelings, Kenshin. You and him are always hanging out, sleeping over and doing a lot of shit together. I know he's helping you with your grades and, I'm really fucking happy about that. I want you to graduate, dude. I want you to be out there and doing awesome shit. You're easily the smartest out of all of us. I'm serious. You have so much potential that even Kaoru couldn't measure up, and she actually gets better grades than us ever since grade school."
I sigh, "Dude.. Soujiro and I.. We're not super pals or whatever. It's just like you said. He's just helping me out. Because I help him out in not living such a sad, boring fucking life like how his dad wants him to live.."
Silence.
"His dad.. We've never met him, have we?" Sanosuke cocks an eyebrow at me.
I shake my head, "Nah. Don't think we ever will. That man's always traveling and shit. He's hardly ever home. Makes me feel bad for Soujiro."
"Yeah. That's rough."
"And.. I know you don't like it when I get all suspicious, but.." I glare at nothing in particular, "Do you ever think that maybe.. Just maybe.. He used to hurt Soujiro?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean.. Maybe he did something bad to Soujiro. Something seriously fucked up. I know you guys don't see it because I'm the only one who gets to see Soujiro more often, but like.. The things he does and says, dude.. It makes me worried. But at the same time, Soujiro doesn't let me find out anything about him or his life, or his past or his dad. It's fucking weird and I hate it."
"Hmm," Sanosuke leans away from the tree to face me fully, "What do you suppose we should do?"
"We?" I frown at his surprised gait.
"Uh, yeah? We! We shouldn't just let Soujiro's dad do whatever he wants towards our friend like that. Because if it really does turns out that Soujiro's dad is doing something awful to him, we should be in the know!"
I gulp. Oh, Sano. Even if what we're about to tell you tomorrow is going to fuck up your world and everything that you used to know? Are you still going to want to protect Soujiro when I tell him that he's my boyfriend and that I fuck him behind everybody's backs?
"Sano.." My eyes start to blur from the impending tears behind them, "I.. I have to tell you something.."
Sanosuke crosses his arms in front of his chest and cocks his neck to the side, waiting.
I grip my hands into fists and can feel myself getting light headed from the intense anxiety right now, "I.. I mean.. It's about.. Soujiro, and I.."
Silence. I look at him and he frowns, still not getting it. God fucking dammit!
I grit my teeth and shut my eyes, deciding, to hell with it, and scream out loud, "Soujiro and I are fucking each other! We're a couple now!"
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"Kenshin. Holy shit."
(To be continued)