Author's note: Hello, hello again! Hope everyone had a great week. I am so happy to see my old friends Cannibal Corncob and Hell Hound! How have you guys been? You guys are right, I do need to get over my insecurities and just keep writing no matter what.

New update will be posted on Friday, December 10th. Trying to get myself back on that good weekly schedule, like the good old days, you know? :)

Enjoy!

Warning: Disturbing scene ahead. Read with caution.

"I'm coming up only to hold you under
I'm coming up only to show you wrong
And to know you is hard, we wonder
To know you, all wrong we were"

- Band Of Horses

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Soujiro, meet Arai Shakku."

I blink, looking at this tall man that surpasses Sanosuke's height, a young man who seems to have already passed high school by now. He looks rough around the edges, but his smile immediately disarms me, and he nods down at me with a friendly tone, "You must be Seta Soujiro! I've been told much about you by Sanosuke here."

"Did he?" I could feel the side of my face twitching as I turn to Sanosuke, who's grinning like a child at the both of us. What is going on here?

"Yeah! I was supposed to meet up with you guys for a toke up under that bridge in October, buuuuut," Shakku chuckles awkwardly as he scratches his own chin, "I had to stay home to study for my engineering course test. Sorry to bail on you guys on that one, but I promise to make it up if you're interested later on. I major in computer engineering and I'm going for some computer science classes, too. I might not look it, but I'm quite the nerd myself."

I look at him for a moment, and then soften up with a smile of my own, "I see. It's really nice to meet you, finally."

"Yeah, same! I got really worried when Sanosuke here texted me not too long ago about a laptop of your father's, after our good boy Kenshin basically outed your dad to him. Kenshin hasn't really texted me in a while, and I worry what's been up with him these days. I guess he's been spending an awful lot of time with his studies, which is great. He's really smart, that guy, and it used to bum me out that he used to let his grades slip by him. He really has what it takes to succeed, you know? But.. Thanks to you, man, he's gonna be reaching new heights!"

I really like this guy already. He seems like such a sweet goofball, despite his height and intimidating looks. It's good that Kenshin has all these friends who care about him so much. He really deserves that, especially when his home life is so rough. I gulp dryly, trying to not let my tears form in my eyes, and I nod, "Yeah. He's really something, that guy. I'm doing.. Everything I can.. to make sure he goes to a really good school after he graduates here."

"Did he tell you which school he's going to? I want to see if maybe I can tag along if I can keep my own grades up," Sano cracks his fingers absent mindedly, "Would be sweet to still be able to hang out with him in college."

Oh man. I almost forgot about that. I would gladly help Kenshin come along with me to a really good private school, as well as his expenses while there. I want us to be roommates and study together. But how will his other friends fit into the equation? They're not rich. Even if they all manage to get good grades by the time graduation rolls around, the scholarships they will get would barely cover the other costs. There's no way they will be together after high school. I look down on the ground, "I.. Haven't asked him. You know Kenshin. He always puts things at the last minute."

There I go again. Lying trough my teeth. Will Kenshin and I ever live an authentic life together?

"So.." Shakku frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "About your dad. He doesn't have any security cameras in his home, does he?"

Thank God Shakku changed the subject before it got too awkward. I sigh.

"He cut that shit out before we moved. He used to be.. a little overprotective of me.. because.." I evade both of the boys' eyes to ready myself for yet another coming-out-of-the-closet moment, "Because I'm gay, and I.. I would bring boys home, and.. yeah."

"Got'cha. It's all good. I think everybody is equal in my eyes, so don't be shy." Shakku chuckles, and I look back at him, shocked, "My uncle's gay, too, so I totally get it! I mean, not gonna lie, I was shocked when Sanosuke basically said that Kenshin's into dudes too, because he was such a ladies man. But you know what? Love is love and it's sometimes totally unexpected, so like, it's whatever!"

My tears can no longer hide themselves, but they carry a happy note to them. I smile at him with misty eyes, nodding, "Yeah.."

"Alright, alright, quit it with the mushy shit," Sanosuke shakes his head, "We've got a laptop to get into and see what the old man's hiding!"

Mushy shit. Guess Kenshin got that saying from Sanosuke. I giggle, "Yeah, let's get back into my car and go back to my place."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because my father isn't home, I feel comfortable bringing Sanosuke and Shakku inside his bedroom. I was worried that my father might've placed a hidden camera somewhere in the room, but Shakku placed my worries to bed when he brought out a weird contraption to scan over the walls to detect any hidden cams. He told me he learned about it in his uni; It came to public knowledge that some freaks were installing them in secrecy to spy on vulnerable female students in the bathrooms, as well as in the changing room. Yikes. I told him that is so fucked up and terrible, but he told me that now that he has this thing as well as his other nerdy friends, they were able to track down the perverts. Can I just say how much I hate cameras? Because I really fucking hate cameras. Amazing what power a piece of technology can hold over sexual abuse victims. Truly.

Anyway.

I pace around the room, looking on as Shakku started setting up a bunch of stuff around my dad's laptop, typing stuff into it so that suddenly the laptop screen shows lines and lines of machine language that completely confuses me. Crazy. I might be a bright student, but no way am I ever going to get into that sort of crap like Shakku is. I guess everyone has their own unique strengths. Maybe Kenshin was onto something when he told me I should be a vet for the animals. I used to always take good care of my pets over the years, from birds to rabbits to dogs and even a reptile. I remember enjoying it, too. I love all animals so much and hate to see them getting sick, or getting hurt. My dad used to yell at my mom whenever she'd joke that I should open up a shelter to take care of all of them, because he wanted me to take over the Seta Enterprise. And I.. I wish I would've stood up for her when I had the chance. I should've protected her whenever he'd get into rages for no reason. Especially when he had one too many drinks at night time. I wonder if maybe he did hit her in private. There's so much of my memories that are sadly blocked and hidden away thanks to my trauma. It's amazing that Kenshin and I share that pain together: The loss of our mothers.

Kenshin. I hope you're okay. I'm going to visit you tonight when this is over. I miss you so much already, it hurts. I'm happy the surgery was a success, but I bet the recovery period will be a long, painful one. But don't you worry. I'll be there for you. As Shakku turns on the laptop and types a bunch of shit on it, he was able to crack into it in just a few minutes. I blink in awe, the laptop now showing a background photo of me as a child, skipping rocks towards a river. I remember that. It was when I was twelve years old and my dad took us to America. It happened.. two years after mom passed away. I remember feeling really happy despite that it happened. I guess two years isn't long enough in hindsight to get over the death of a parent, but.. For that moment, being together with my dad and doing camping stuff with him, I felt totally normal. It was also around the time I was hitting puberty and started noticing other boys. I blush, looking down at myself.

"Mmmm'alrighty then, let's see what this baby got!" Shakku cracks his fingers, "Looks like your dad's got some personal shit on it. Let's have a lookie see at his files."

"He probably has all of my childhood pictures on here," I chuckle nervously, my blush deepening, "How embarrassing."

Shakku scoffs, "That's cute. Nothing to be ashamed of."

Sanosuke even has to butt in with a chuckle, "Yeah, man. That's not gay or anything."

I look at him with a deadpan expression, making him suddenly aware of what he just said.

"Uh, oh," He blushes too now, scratching his chin as Shakku laughs at his stupidity, "Sorry, Soujiro."

I break out into a smile now, "No biggie."

"Alright, I'm seeing folders of Soujiro's childhood photos, so we're not gonna embarrass the poor guy with those," Shakku scrolls down, "There's folders of your dad's.. business trips, I guess. Should we look at those?"

"There probably won't be anything interesting there," Sanosuke shrugs, "But sure."

"Yeah," I nod, "Let's give it a shot."

So, we did. We looked at all the folders, and I even urged Shakku to look at my childhood pictures, as well. Aside from the guys giggling at my red face when looking at those pictures.. Everything looks normal so far. Shakku decides to look at his documents, videos of conference meetings, and so on. Again, everything looks good and normal so far. It's a laptop of a normal, busy father who has nothing to hide. We decide to look through his e-mails, and again, nothing seems out of place. But still, we keep searching. My stomach is folding in knots every time a new folder or a file is clicked, afraid of seeing something that would ruin me. My father didn't fucking cared that Okita raped me so much as he cared that it'll leak out in public. Who would respect a new leader who got in a situation like that? My father never even hugged me despite me going through a year of heavy dissociating. I was never the same after that.

Did you ever cried at night over me, father? Did you even cared one bit?

"Hmm.. Man, honestly, there doesn't seem to be anything incriminating here. But I think I know what I'll do," Shakku clicks on the lower tool bar to type something in, and suddenly the screen turns black, rows and rows of green text appearing that makes no sense to me, "I'm going to search with key terms and see what pops up. Are you ready, Soujiro?"

I take in a startled breath, blinking, unsure of how to react. Am I ready? I don't know if I am. But this is important, and I have every right to know. I nod, confirming.

"Let's try 'illegal' first," Shakku types it in and clicks enter, "Okay, some matches were found, but it's just his buddies talking about something that happened to other people. Low level crimes, nothing too suspicious. Anything you want to try, Soujiro?"

I gulp dryly, my nausea radiating inside my stomach, "Try.. Rape."

Shakku and Sanosuke stares at me, grunting.

"Um.. Sure, man." Shakku types it in, "Here's a result. It's in an e-mail.. Yeesh. A real blistering one. It's.. From your dad, to some other man. How dare your son rape my son? Do you know what the media is going to say about us, now? Don't even think about calling your lawyer before you get back to me about this, you son of a bitch. Nice to know that my colleague is also raising a fruit. Don't make me tell the others about your trips out to Mexico, especially to your wife."

"Holy fuck," Sanosuke turns to me just in time to hold me as I feel too light headed to stand still, "Dude, what the fuck?"

Shakku turns to me in concern, "Hey, man, sit down before you fall over. We'll see what else we can find."

I hold onto Sanosuke, my hand covering my mouth as dry sobs and heaving takes over me. I didn't wanted to face that memory again. I didn't. It still hits me so hard after all this time. How can my father say those things? By first glance, it almost looks like a message written by a heartbroken father, but.. the words in there don't match up. He's more worried about his own self image than the damage his son has been through. How is he this heartless? I wish Kenshin was here to hold me instead. I wish Kenshin could be here to comfort me. I feel so sick!

"Soujiro.. Hey.." Sanosuke shushes me softly, rubbing my back, "We're here for you, dude. I'm.. I'm so sorry about all of this. I didn't think it was this bad.."

I don't reply back, hiccuping and sobbing to myself meanwhile.

"That guy's a sick son of a bitch," Shakku announces as he types some more stuff on the laptop, "Check this shit out: He never reported to the cops about what happened to Soujiro, and threatened the hospital staff who checked him out after the assault to not speak to the news media about this shit. And since he's got more money than God, everybody was too chickenshit to say anything."

Silence, and then Shakku hisses, "Dude, what the fuck?!"

Sanosuke grunts, "What!"

"There was a tape involved in this, too. Like. Someone recorded that guy's son raping Soujiro. I don't..!"

"Oh, no." I grab my own mouth and hastily get up from the bed to rush over to the bathroom to lean over the sink, dry heaving. The memories are hitting me all over again. Sanosuke soon comes into the bathroom, just gaping at me in shock as I finally upchuck vomit into said sink, "Soujiro.. Your dad.. Is going to get so fucked when we leak all of this."

"No!" I grip my eyes shut, my hands white and shaking over the edge of the porcelain material, "You can't.. You'll ruin us.."

"Soujiro! He ruined YOUR life!" Sanosuke explodes from where he stands, making me flinch, "And he's going to pay for this!"

"Uh, dudes?" We hear Shakku calling out for us back in the bedroom, "I found another e-mail. Something about a Golden Island in Mexico. That all the business friends of your dad likes to go to every year.. you've ever heard of that, Soujiro?"

"Golden.. Island?" My eyes look at Sanosuke, who also looks just as confused as I am, "I don't.. know what the hell that is.."

"Come on, let's go back to the room and look at it, together," Sanosuke extends his hand out towards me, and I look at it with reluctance. I've got nowhere else to run or hide, do I? Might as well accept this. I rinse the vomit down the sink as well as swish some in my mouth to clean any remainder of it out. He takes my hand in his and we walk back together, letting my hand go the second we are standing around Shakku, "So what do you have?"

"Lots of e-mail correspondences about this Golden Island. They talk it up about how it's a place to go to with their wives, but I don't know if any of the e-mails here are from the women themselves. I can tell because all the e-mail addresses have male names on them only, and their company names attached. Is it a place to go to cheat on their wives, or something?"

"Might be," I cup my chin with my hand, "My dad did mention going to the tropics at least once a year but that I'm too young to go because of the things that happen there.."

"Sexual things?" Sanosuke's eyebrow arches.

"Maybe. I mean. Yeah."

"Well, that sucks," Shakku crosses his arms, "Can I ask you some things, Soujiro? About your mom?"

"She died when I was a kid," I shrug, ignoring the pain in my chest, "She always talks to the help about how sick and tired she is of my dad's traveling, but I don't remember her saying anything about an island. At least, I don't think she did. She did said that she is aware of his cheating on her, but that she feels stuck being with him because of me and my prophecy in taking over the Enterprise."

"That really sucks," Shakku deflates upon hearing this.

"Shakku, keep going. Maybe.." Sanosuke suddenly hesitates, his eyes lowering to the floor, "I mean.. Call me crazy, but.. The rape on Soujiro, the tape that wasn't probably destroyed after all, this weird island.. dude, do you remember that fucked up tv show we saw last year before Soujiro moved in here?"

"Huh?" It's now Shakku's eyebrow's turn to rise up, "What show?"

"You know which one! That weird FBI show. They were showing shit about what happens in the United States and all those killers getting caught. You remember when they found out some island was brought out because they were sex trafficking people there? And all the rapists who went there to.. Jesus Christ, dude, don't make me fucking say it."

Shakku and I exchange shocked glances, and I can feel my bile rising up again. No. What if..?

"Just try it. Look for something that has something to do with that island. It hits a little too close to home for me for any of this to be just a sheer coincidence!" Sanosuke takes a step back, as if deathly afraid of what the laptop will show next.

My lips turn dry as Shakku reluctantly turns towards the laptop now, typing some things down to search up evidence to Sanosuke's theory. Theory that I hope to fuck is wrong. Theory that I hope is just hysteria and nothing else. Theory that won't end up ruining my life even more than it did before. Theory that could shake up the entire foundation that is The Seta Enterprise as we know it. I don't know if I'm ready to face this. Am I ready to lose everything? All the things that gave me so much in my life, and yet, all the things that made me want to die at the same time? Am I really ready for all of that? Am I strong enough to find the truth? Just like how strong Kenshin is when he is also faced with the harsh truth every day of his life? Can I be like that, too?

I don't know if I can do it..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Hey, I think I found something."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"What is it, Shakku?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"H.. Holy fuck.. Dude!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Jesus Christ, man, turn that off!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"What the fuck is he doing to that kid?!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Sano, tell him to turn it off!"

.

.

.

.

.

Kaboom!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Who was that?" Sanosuke whips around with wide eyes at the bedroom door after hearing that sound coming from all the way downstairs, "Soujiro, who is that?"

Shakku suddenly gets up from his seat and quickly gathers his stuff, damn near slamming the laptop shut, "Ooohhh mannn, I think that's his fucking dad! We gotta get outta here!"

"Keep your voices down!" I hiss, my stomach twisting from the horrors I witnessed just a few seconds ago, "I'll distract him, you two need to get out of here!"

"How?" Sanosuke looks around the room, "There's a window there, but you can't possibly expect us to survive a jump that high from up here."

"Soujiro's gonna have to get himself and his dad out of here and away so that we can both sneak out." Shakku successfully zipped up all of his belongings in his big book bag before holstering it over his broad shoulders, "Otherwise, we're screwed!"

"Soujiro.." Sanosuke looks at me with dread filled eyes, "You are going to be fine on your own, right?"

I gape at him, and that's when I hear my father's voice faintly calling out my name, so I nod my head quickly, "Y-yeah, Sano, I will. Just stay here until I text you guys, okay? Hide in the bathroom or something just in case!"

Shakku mutters "Fuck" to himself as he walks over to the bathroom, and Sanosuke just gives my shoulder a quick, reassuring squeeze before I hurry on out of there. I hope this works. Can't afford my dad to know I'm holding two guys in his bedroom.. He'll have some funny ideas of what I'm doing with two boys at the same time. I've never had threesomes or any of the sort before, and they're just my friends. But you know how homophobes are. Especially one as enraging and hateful as my father. I gulp, scurrying down the rotating stairwell, where I can see from here, my father and the help walking around. Fuck. The butler and the maids are here?! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What should I do?! They can't stay here! They definitely cannot come upstairs, either! Gotta think of something. Think, Soujiro, think!

"Father?" I smile nervously as soon as I reach downstairs to greet him, "Back so soon?"

"Soujiro," My dad smiles at me, his wrinkles and stylish silver hair granting him an old school type of charm, "I am. How is my son?"

I hate this kind of dance. Where we pretend that we're happy to see each other again. Where we perform for other people, even if it's to the help, that we really do love each other like family.. When it couldn't be further from the truth. That we just exist to each other, just to use each other, and further each others' agendas. I hate it. I hate it so fucking much. I am not going to miss this one bit if my father ever sees prison for his crimes. My father looks like a typical rich scumbag, in his lush, ivory turtleneck sweater, slacks, and Oxford shoes. The traveling must've treated him especially well this time. Asshole. Now that I know your secrets, maybe there is some truth to Kenshin's hatred to rich powerful men like yourself. I can't believe it.

"I am well," I steady my words carefully, making sure I keep a plastic smile on my face as I walk on towards him, "Father, I.. I am wondering about something. A favor, if you will."

"Hm?" He tilts his head a little to the side, his eyebrow arching up and his smirk devious, "Well, what is it?"

"Canwegoseethesummerhousenow?" I asked that a little too quickly, my heart racing and knowing that the maids are now looking at me weirdly, "I mean.. If that's okay. I have a lot of ideas for the place, and I am aching to go see it now. It won't be long before the spring flowers arrive, after all.. We have lots of planning to do to it, haven't we? I want to go see it. Let's go see it. I want to see it now!"

I said that last part a bit too forcefully. Everyone stops with what they're doing, one of them trying to boil some water to make some tea for the both of us, and we all turn to my father. He looks at me gravely, confused at my strange outburst. Oh shit. I hope he doesn't suspect anything. All is quiet for a moment. I can hear my own heartbeat. What am I going to do if he finds out about my friends hiding upstairs? Will he call the police and will I get into deep shit? Will he move us out of here and will I never see Kenshin again? Fuck. Am I dead?

If Kenshin was here.. He'd be standing right next to me, protecting me. He'd yell at my dad, and curse him out too if it has to come down to that. He'd be my hero again. He'd be my savior, my lover, my fighter. He'd give me the confidence to keep standing strong. I miss him so much already, and it hasn't been that long since I've last seen him. My sweet baby. I don't want to know the pain you're under right now. I'd gladly switch places with you if I could.

My father finally speaks, "Son.. Is there someone here? You look shocked."

I gape at him, stunned.

"No?" I blink, frowning and trying to feign confusion with a scoff, "It's you who surprised me. I got here from school and I wasn't expecting you at all. That's why I look shocked. I expected you home a few days from now."

He chuckles, "Well, that's harsh. I would expect my son to be happy to see me here early."

My smile trembles, but I keep my voice as steady as I could, "I am happy to see you, father. But you always hide surprises up your sleeves, I don't know what to do with you."

"Master," Our butler now speaks, "Pardon my interruption, but I may arrange a dinner outside the city if you wish to. Perhaps a short trip out to the countryside to see the summer home will be a good way to relax after your trip."

"He's right," I added in, looking at him and wondering if he somehow read my mind, "I'm feeling stuffy here, anyway. Let's just go, okay?"

We all look at one another. The silence is taking all the wind out of my lungs, scared he'll see through my foils anyhow. Finally, my father sighs deeply, giving up on trying to understand my weirdness, "I wanted to relax here at home with you, son."

I look at him silence, already panicking inside.

".. But.. If you really want to see the new house so badly," He looks at me, smirking, "Fine, then."

"Let's take everyone out, father. They worked so hard.. We can have a meal in the new house if that's possible. I'll pay. I don't really care!"

He laughs, "Nonsense. They can stay here and tidy up."

Fuck!

"I cleaned it all up." I said quickly, my cheeks flushing from nervousness, "I cleaned up my room, too, just now, actually. They won't have anything to do here, father, and I need their help with checking out the house."

He lifts his chin up to look at the ceiling, and my stomach drops. Did he hear something? Did he hear my friends just now? Fuck. Fuck! Please don't go upstairs. Please don't find my friends. Please don't hurt them, either. He looks back down at me, frowning with perplexity, "Well. Alright, then. Anything to make my son happy."

That's right, you son of a bitch. I crack a smile at him, no doubt it looks fucking weird with my eye twitching from the stress, "Then it's settled. Let's go. I'm tired of being here."

Sanosuke.. Shakku..

Please bare with me.

.

.

.

.

And Kenshin..

I'm sorry, but I won't be able to see you tonight.

Please be patient, baby.

(To be continued)