Author's note: Hey everyone! Hope you guys had a great week! I'm gonna start to replying to everyone individually now.

Cannibal Corncob - I can't believe it's been three years since I started writing KenJiro fics! We've been through a lot together, my friend. I wonder what other works I'll be able to pump out for all of you. Here's to a new year and a more hardworking me!

Hell Hound - You're too much, LOL! I do not need to be idolized... well, maybe a little. ;)

Chimerical - I've never been to Mexico before! I'd imagine there's a lot of danger in there, huh? Have you been there before? What's it like?

Daemon Spawn - Yeah, I figured I'd pick Mexico because that's where all the super sekrit crimes happen from underground. Perfect for a shitty ass dad like Soujiro's!

So a couple of things. One, you will see some names here that are actually from the Rurrouni Kenshin franchise and I encourage you guys to Google them because they are legit characters. They do not belong to me and all rights are reserved to the original creator of the show and manga, so just an FYI. Things are going to become more and more graphic in this fic, and I don't mean the usual sexiness between Kenshin and Soujiro (though there will be more of those in the upcoming chapters heh), so just a fair warning.

I have to work on some things in my life, so the next update will be late. I will update on the other Friday, January 24th, but it'll be a nice long one. Sorry in advanced!

Enjoy!

"No one seems to be listening
This is completely different
We lived in a different world
Because we were never invisible"

- Sigur Ros

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I've succeeded in getting everybody out of the house. Father kept talking about himself and what he's done on his trip, and I pretended to be interested in what he had to say. Despite what I saw on his laptop, despite knowing his secrets now, despite now realizing what he and his business friends do behind closed doors.. I did my best in appearing like nothing was wrong in the world. I bit my tongue and faked a smile or a laugh at his stupid jokes, knowing he hates me because I am the way I am. Knowing that he did something very bad to me back then, just to please his friends and his colleagues. Now that I know.. Now that I know what he's hiding from me, I don't see my father the same way anymore.

I always saw him as a distant entity in my life, a shapeless ghost that constructed everything about me and my life. From the way I dress, to the schools I go to, to who I should be in contact with; To the career I will have to take up when he retires, to what I have to say to everyone who wants to get to know us on a personal level.. He was the one who controlled everything about me. I couldn't tell you where my personality started and where his manipulations begins. Sometimes the lines would be so blurred, that I'd walk around feeling like my body didn't belong to me, or the words that came out of my lips could've been mine or his. I'm surprised that I wasn't diagnosed with some weird identity disorder when I spoke to psychologists after getting raped by Okita. Did they suspected something but couldn't bring themselves to tell my father? Or, did they told him but he said to keep it on the down low?

I look at my father now, who is now on the phone talking to someone from the company, completely oblivious to what I know about him now. We took a limo and are being chaperoned to head on over to the countryside now, which is not too far away from where we live in. I kill time by just gazing out the window periodically, just thinking. Thinking about what I saw. The horrors on that computer screen. What memories that could be resurfacing, now that the ugly truth is out in the open. What Sanosuke and everyone else will think of me now. What about Kenshin? I was supposed to visit him later on tonight, to be there for him, maybe kiss his hands and hear him snooze away on the hospital bed. My heart clenches in pain at that thought. I can't even text him or anything. I won't be able to call him, just to hear his voice, just to tell him I'm sorry and that I love him. Sano and the others won't be able to go to the private hospital, because they're not his family. I was the one who was able to be in the room because I saved him, and people at the hospital know of my social power thanks to the Enterprise. My other friends.. don't have that power. They don't have the same rights.

It's amazing what money can buy.

Hiko is his legal guardian, though, so he is able to see Kenshin. I hope they are okay, even if I can't be there tonight. I wonder if Hiko will notice that I won't be there tonight. What he would think of me. Does he even remember my name? I doubt that. I think he's way more focused on Kenshin to remember some spoiled little brat. I look at my father again, who is now finishing up the call. Hiko really seems so much different than my father. My father is so cold with me most of the time, but would put on a show to have everyone see how much he cares about me. Hiko, on the other hand, while not as charming or suave as my father, genuinely cares for his son. I wonder what Kenshin's mother was like. I wonder if it was her that Kenshin inherited such beautiful red hair. I blush, looking down. I miss him. I miss him so much and I wish I could see him right now.

I think that does it, then. After all of this is over.. I would love to marry Kenshin. It's finally real.

He's the one.

We arrive into the countryside. It is really lovely here. It would be lovelier, though, if Kenshin was here with me instead. But, I made the best of it. I tried to let father dominate the conversations, as he always do, and I pretend to listen to what he has to say with contrived enthusiasm. We saw the house, which is nearly done in it's building, and father showed me the bedroom of where I would sleep. I told him I'd like to lie in bed for a bit, and he understood, taking yet another business call somewhere else. As soon as I know that he is far away, I whip out my mobile phone to start texting Sano:

Sano, you there?

yeah, man! are you okay?

I'm okay. Did you guys get out of the mansion?

yeah. me and shakku are worried about you, tho. where r u?

Out in the countryside. I'm at the summer house. Listen, I know you guys can't visit Kenshin since you're not his immediate family, but... do you have Hiko's phone number? So that I can reach out to them in some way?

Yeah I have the number, both of our fathers have known each other for many years. It's 4455-8871.

Thank you omg. I'll text you guys later, okay?

please do! and listen, if i ever see shishio or any of his friends, i'll kill them for you.

DON'T. it's not worth getting into legal trouble. Please don't tell anyone this, but... I really do think Kenshin is going to get into deep shit over this. I think he will get arrested or something.

I'll be blunt, but yeah, he will. Cops here aren't fond of him for what he's done before. But we'll think of something. I think you and I will have to get Shishio's rape victims to come forward and have Kenshin be their ally or something, to reduce the sentencing. The police still aren't aware of these crimes, but Kenshin and I are quite in the know with the girls he's been with. But anyway, take care of yourself. I'll call you tonight before bed time to check up on you.

I smile. Oh, Sanosuke.

Thank you. You really are an amazing friend.

No probs lol. Take care.

"Everything okay?" I hear my father asking me now, just as the two of us put our respective phones away and as he knocks on my door.

I nod cheerfully, "Mmhmm! I'm just happy to see you again so soon, father."

"You missed me that much?"

No. Of course I don't.

"Yes. Of course I do."

He chuckles, "Good. Shall we have dinner here and have the help bring back the takeouts, or do you want to find a restaurant?"

"Let's stay here. I'm tired from school."

He nods, "Fine, then."

Everything became a blur from there. We ate as if we were a pretend family, my father and I being completely silent as well as the rest of the help. The maids made sure to down cast their eyes from the two of us, out of respect, while the butler would come around every so often to refill everyone's drinks. It's all terribly awkward, boring, and cold to the touch. I hate living like this. Especially after knowing father's secret. I have to pretend and make sure I don't look like I know what I know, though.. To protect my other friends from this. I wonder what Sanosuke and Shakku thinks of me now. Will Sano tell Kenshin about what he saw? I hope he doesn't. At least, not right now. Kenshin needs his rest. He has to recover from his injuries. And if the cops do get him, that's another thing he'll have to worry about, too. I cannot afford to make Kenshin go crazy with all of this crap.

Kenshin. I love you so much. So why do I continuously make your life worse?

After supper, we came back home to the mansion again. My father seems to have returned from his coming-back-home high and is now promptly ignoring me. I went back into my room to take a nice, long, hot shower, and have a think of what will happen next. Sano said that he is going to call me later on tonight before bedtime, so I do have to wonder what it is he wants to talk to me about. Maybe he has some more pressing questions about me and my family? It would make sense. Should I just fucking spill the beans to him, since he already found out about what was hiding on the laptop this entire time? Am I ready for going down the road to memory lane and all the demons I've locked away inside of me?

Am I allowed to trust someone else like this again?

After my shower, I find myself in bed under the canopy. Looking up at the dark ceilings and all the lights out, and I am thinking about him again. Kenshin. Did you really meant what you said at the hospital? That you want to spend the rest of your life with me? After everything that's happened, it only seems like I am just not good for you to have as a boyfriend, after all. All I do is make everything in your life worse. I wonder if you having all of your friends again.. Not having Kaoru hating you to death.. Not getting yourself beaten to a pulp just for having sex with me.. Are all fair trade offs if it means you will fail academically. There are always other roads to take aside from going to a traditional four year college, after all. You said something about going to a trade school of some sort, taking up a vocational that wouldn't take too long to get certifications for. And then I came in and wrecked all of those plans for you, because I wanted you to strive to be better.

But now I wonder if maybe your version of your best self, is quite different than my own vision. I wonder if I was being way too hard on you and expected too much from you. Maybe I was being way too idealistic when it came to your potential. Maybe I shouldn't have made you strive to getting those straight A's. Maybe you were meant to just live.. ordinarily. Here, with your father Hiko. Here, with all of your lifelong childhood friends. Here, where you can just be Kenshin Himura. Not with me around. Not with Soujiro, whose father is probably a pedophile. Not with Soujiro, who's getting you into all of this trouble. And for what?

Because you love him.

My eyes widen at that thought that just ripped across my head. Because I love him. Of course. I am in love with him. I love him because he is unlike anyone I have ever met before. I love him because he wants me to be strong. I love him because he treats me so well in public.. as well as.. I gulp, feeling the familiar pulse in my boxer briefs. Fuck. If only he was here. I would do so many bad things to him. Very sexy, bad things. I chuckle, my stomach dropping. Why am I having these thoughts after the horrors I've seen today? Am I really that fucked up? I wonder if I should go back to.. I take in a faltering breath, tears spiking my eyes. No. I can't go back to doing.. that.. It's so unhealthy, and so very dangerous. It's not worth the damage it leaves behind. I refuse to do it. I won't.

My phone vibrates quietly next to me and I pick it up, answering it with a quiet voice, "Hello?"

"Hey. Soujiro. It's me, Sano."

I feel myself smiling, the nervousness in my chest and stomach calming down now that he's on the other line, "Hi."

"Are you doing okay? Did your dad suspected anything?"

"No. Thank God, he didn't. I did my best distracting him the entire day after you guys left. How about you? Are you.. Okay? After what we just.."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just worried about you."

Okay. Okay. This is bad. And maybe, just maybe, everyone would hate me if I admitted this to myself. But at hearing Sanosuke saying that, I.. I feel my cheeks heating up. It must be my traumatic ass trying to latch onto any sort of softness in other people to feel safe in. But hearing that makes me feel so good inside. I'm so happy that Kenshin has friends like this. I wonder if I deserve to have the same friends as he does. It also makes me wonder, when the dust settles down and we all graduate.. Will Kenshin have all of his friends back? Will the friendships survive something this catastrophic? What about Kaoru? The girl who's had a crush on him for God knows how many years? Will they be able to settle things between them and become friends again? Can a real friendship be reborn out of a place of broken trust?

"So," Sanosuke interrupts the awkward silence, "About Hiko. I called him and he was surprised to hear from me. Said that he feels like it's been a while since he last heard from me, and that he hopes my father is okay. I told him that I heard that Kenshin got hurt and asked how he was doing, and Hiko reassured me that he's doing just fine, despite the circumstances. I feel like shit, Soujiro. I really do. I'm so sorry for what me and Yahiko tried to do to the two of you. Believe me, I was serious when I said today at school, that we don't hate that you guys are together.. We were just hurt that Kenshin would go and lie to us like this. It has nothing.. Shit.. I'm really trying not to act retarded here and cry, but.. It has nothing to do with you, Soujiro. I hope you can accept this apology."

I chuckle, "Sano! I've already forgiven you! You don't have to be so hard on yourself. I don't think the school knows yet of our relationship, so.. Let's just calm down and forget about it, okay? We have to worry about bigger matters now. Like Kenshin and what the cops might want from him."

"Thanks, man," I hear him smirk and chuckle, "I'm glad you feel that way. Would hate to lose your friendship over this. And yeah. There's no telling what the cops will do to him, but I think if we play our cards right, he won't be facing a lot of time behind bars. Who knows, depending if Hiko or someone else could represent him and say the right thing, Kenshin might not even have to go to prison. But we'll have to see."

"Has he ever been convicted of anything before?"

"Yeah. Once. He stole food from a grocery store and got caught. He was a minor when it happened, though, so they just made him do community service for a few months. Not sure if they purged that from his records yet. He was also arrested once for vandalism, but that was when Hiko was one of the big boys at the police station, so they kinda pardoned him. Now that Hiko is working for the Enterprise.. I don't know, dude. I just don't know how this is going to play out."

"Yeah." I deflate sadly.

"But like I said, Soujiro, all we have to do is just stay calm and try to play the game right. We can't show them our weaknesses, and we can round up the girls who have been assaulted by Shishio and his friends to use as compensation of some sort. I can't promise you anything but Kenshin is.. Well, before you, he's been with lots of women, and a couple of them did get raped by Shishio after the relationships were over."

"That can definitely be our leverage, then," I frown at my dark ceilings above me, "We've got to get their info and see if they can step forward."

"Do it, man. Let's both do it. They might trust you more because you're just a cute little rich boy rather than a thug like me."

I blush, stammering, "I.. No, I'm not!"

He laughs, "Okay, okay! Anyway, I gotta go, but rest up. We've got a big day tomorrow. And if you visit Kenshin tomorrow, please let him know how.. How fucked up Yahiko and I feel about what we did. I know he probably won't want to be our friends again. And that shit kills me on the inside. We go way back. But ultimately, it's his choice. I just hope he doesn't hate us for the rest of his life."

"I promise you," I whisper, feeling the sleepiness taking over me as I smile demurely, "I promise you that he doesn't hate you guys. I won't let him. I don't want to take him away from you guys."

He sighs happily, "Thanks, Soujiro. You're the best. Good night."

"Night."

I hang up and place my phone on the charger before turning over around to close my eyes.

I hope I don't have any nightmares tonight.

Kenshin..

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The next day, it's the middle of the school day, when I am having lunch with my new friends. I carefully bring up a conversation about Kenshin, about how he got beaten up by Makoto Shishio, and soon everyone at the table started clamoring about this news with him being at the hospital. I try my best to ignore the table far away where Sanosuke, Yahiko, Megumi, Misao, and Kaoru are sitting in, convinced that they seem to keep looking over where I'm sitting at. Are the girls still angry at me? They still have me blocked on Facebook, though the boys have lifted it so that they can send me messages. I guess they still need time. I wonder if they talk about Kenshin and where he could be. If he's doing okay, or if they should even care.

I guess only time will tell.

"So, Soujiro," A brunet male, Arai Seiku, lays a comforting hand on my shoulder, "Is there anything we can do for you?"

"Yeah," Even Amakusa Sayo, my date for the previous winter dance, sighs sadly at this conversation, "This is horrible news. We heard that Kenshin really got his face messed up because of Shishio."

"I want to beat Shishio's ass so badly right now!" Two other students speak among themselves angrily, "What a dick!"

I nod, smiling nervously, "I'm really thankful for you guys. Truly. The only thing.. I need.. are alibis. I need to talk to the girls who were assaulted by Shishio and his crew. Like.. The ones they've raped before."

The table is quiet, and then this larger male named Eibin Tamono pipes up, "I know who they are and where to reach them. There's three of them, two that were Shishio's victims, and one from another one of his disgusting friends. The fourth one.."

We are quiet again, remembering what happened. She killed herself. I don't know this woman who did that, but my heart clutches at that ugly fact. I hate rapists with every ounce of my being. They should pay for what they've done to those poor people. I never got justice for what Okita did to me, but.. I can level the playing field in this situation.

"We'll do everything we can for you, Soujiro," Sayo nods, "But.. Um.. I mean.. You don't have to answer this, if it makes you uncomfortable, but.. um.."

I look at her, waiting.

"I just.. Wonder, if.. There is something.. Deep going on, between you and Kenshin."

The entire table turn to me, and I gape at her. Are we really that obvious? Is it truly that difficult to hide homosexuality like this? I didn't know I'd be so.. obviously attracted to men only. I look down at my lap, suddenly feeling very shy. Should I.. Tell them? That I'm gay? That I'm with Kenshin? Would he wanted that? Would he wanted the entire school to know? Well, I could tell them to keep it a secret. No harm in that, right? They're my new friends, now. If I got kicked out of Kaoru's friend group because of who I am, then that just means that maybe I'm not meant to come back to them. I grip the side of my jeans. Of course. I should be used to that by now. Leaving places, leaving people behind, starting over, because of who I am. Because my orientation is not easily accepted. I should be aware of that..

So then, why does it still hurt so fucking much?

"Soujiro," Tamono speaks again, "We don't hate you if you two are dating. We don't mind gay people here. You are who you are. I'm sorry if people back then gave you shit for it, but that's not who we are, or what we're about. I think what happened to Kenshin is fucked up. If Shishio hurt him because he also suspected of him liking men, too.. Then we're standing right behind you, Soujiro. Please remember that."

I take in a sharp breath, "I! I don't know.. what to say!"

"It's okay!" Seiko places his hands up, "You don't have to say anything now if it makes you uncomfortable. We just see you two together a lot, and the way Kenshin looks at you.. I mean. We can tell he loves you a lot."

My heart runs fast at that. Of course Kenshin loves me. Look at everything he's done for me so far.

"But just know," Tamono crosses his arms in front of his chest, "That whatever did happened to you, that made you think that the entire world wants to persecute you for being gay, makes us all the more understanding of your pain. We have family, and friends and neighbors, who are also gay, whom we love very much. You are safe with us, believe me."

My lower lip trembles, looking at the table in front of me, ".. I.. I am.."

Sayo, who was sitting next to me on the other side, just leans in and hugs me, while Seiku just nods, understanding immediately of what I was going to say next. The table is now silent again, letting me have this opportunity to once again weep over my self hatred. Over my self harms. All of it. I understand now. People aren't as bad as my father made them out to be. People who might have less money than me, who aren't as powerful as we are.. Does not make them bad people, or weak or unworthy of trust. My father was wrong. Of course he's wrong! He's the one who shouldn't be trusted at all!

I finally gather the courage to nod and whimper, "I'm gay, yeah. And Kenshin's my lover."

Everyone comforts me as I cry to myself. I wonder if the other table are now looking over, and what the other girls are thinking now. I don't have the hearts to turn over my shoulder to look. I don't want to know the answer. If they're laughing at my tears, then I don't want to know. If they're looking on in disgust, then I don't want to know. If they are looking at me with concern and shock, then.. I still don't want to know. It's over between all of us. I have to keep moving forward. It's all I have left. Kenshin, and Sanosuke, and Yahiko.. maybe Shakku, too.. these are all I have left in my world anymore.

"We're here for you, Soujiro."

But maybe not. Maybe I have more allies than I realize. Maybe I'm not as hated as I thought. Maybe there is more to the world than constantly hiding myself. Maybe I am wrong about my old friends. Maybe I should just.. Brave myself to talk to the other table.

"If you guys are okay, I.. Have to go talk to some people real quick. I'll be right back." I look up smiling despite the tears trickling down my face, "It'll only be a moment."

"Sure, Soujiro." Sayo smiles at me subtly, nodding to give me the OK.

I carefully get up from my seat, my friends looking up at me with smiles. It's okay, Soujiro. You got this. Just go on to the other table, and look at those people in the eyes. Sanosuke and Yahiko are both there, and they're on my side, aren't they? Sano, especially, will back me up. I turn around slowly, my heartbeat rapidly thundering inside my chest. I look up ahead, and I see everyone over there now looking at me. I gulp, and start walking towards them. I can feel my kneecaps buckling slightly, light headed. Okay. It's okay. You're okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. Last night's phone call with Sanosuke means that I am going to be okay. You're fine.

I made it to the other table, the old gang now looking up at me.

Here goes nothing.

"Um," I mumble, my hands forming into fists, "Hi, guys."

Sanosuke is the first to break the silence with a smile and a nod, "Hey, Soujiro."

I feel way less nervous now, thanks to that.

"Soujiro!" Yahiko pipes up, "We! Um! We were gonna.. talk to you.. before.."

I look at Megumi, who only looks down in shame. Then I turn to Misao, who could only glare at me openly. Okay, I guess that's still one person who hates my guts. Finally, I turn to Kaoru, who is also looking down, in a tone much more sadder than Megumi's expression. I guess she still needs more time to cope with seeing the man who took her's away. I can't blame her. Kaoru, believe me, if I could turn back the hands of time, I would have prevented Kenshin in taking your virginity that night. I swear I did not goaded him to do that.

"We were gonna talk to you, before Shishio pretty much obliterated Kenshin," Yahiko chuckles, but it sounds all wrong in it's nervousness, "I-I'm sorry. I feel like such an asshole.."

Silence.

"So," Megumi looks up to speak to me, "How's Kenshin doing?"

Kaoru is still not looking up.

"He's fine," I nod cautiously, "He's at the hospital now, resting. I don't know when he's going to be coming back to school, if he will be at all."

The group looks at me, stunned.

"How bad is it?" Megumi's eyes once again flutters to the floor, as if ashamed to ask.

"I mean, the surgery was a success, and everything seems to be in working order," I nod, "But, we're looking at maybe six to seven weeks until he's back to normal again. I'd imagine it'll leave quite a nasty scar somewhere, though."

"Well," Misao scoffs, "Can't say I'm that thrilled to know he's hurt, but.. I can't also say I'm too sad about that either, after what he did to Kaoru."

Don't snap, Soujiro. Don't yell at her. She's allowed to have her pain be known. You got this.

I smile bitterly, "You're right, Misao. You are absolutely right in your anger. I'd be beyond pissed to know that someone cheated on me and left me like that. What selfish, horrible people we are to do that to your friend here."

Misao frowns at me, surprised that I said that, "Um..?"

"Anyway, enough of this," Sanosuke speaks up, everyone turning to look at him, "We've got bigger issues to think about. Kenshin might be seeing jail time for this, and Shishio has to go down for his other crimes. We have got to figure out a way to get his victims to talk even when it's hard to remember something so serious."

"You mean.." Yahiko's eyes widen, "Are you talking about his rape victims?"

"You bet."

I frown, "I'm going to go back to the other table and see if they know anything about those girls. But I wanted to check up on the rest of you. And to just say.. I'm sorry. For everything."

Misao and Kaoru look up at me, their expressions unreadable. Maybe they won't let this go so easily. Fine. That's just fine by me. All I care about is what I can do for Kenshin so that he doesn't suffer anymore than he has to. Yahiko and Sanosuke nods at me, so I know I still have them to count on. I turn around and walk away, my heart feeling heavy at all of this.

I really hope the next several weeks won't break me.

(To be continued)