Rachel sighed as she stood in the darkness and mist. She was tired and she didn't really want to deal with the Dark Lord right now. She watched as he approached, trying to see if she could get anything from him. His stride was confident, his expression impassive, and his red eyes were fixed on her. A quick check told her that however she was recognizing his emotions when she was awake didn't work here.
"You are now within Hogwarts' wards, but we can still meet like this," the Dark Lord said.
Oops. Rachel hadn't considered what would happen to that particular lie when she was back at school. "Maybe it wasn't the wards then. Maybe it was just the connection continuing to evolve."
"Continuing to evolve in what way?"
Rachel was trying to think quickly to see how little information she could get away with giving him. "Well. I didn't start having visions of you until after you had a body again." A lie; she'd had a vision of him before he'd even possessed the baby that he'd been in during her fourth year.
"What was the first vision you saw?"
"You killing Professor Karkaroff," she said, figuring that would be a reasonable starting point, especially since it was specific.
"Igor was a fool and a traitor. I made an example of him. Then what?"
"Not much for a long time. I saw you kill Professor Podmore as well," she said, wanting to skip both the Azkaban breakout vision and the attack on Mr. Weasley.
"A mudblood fool. He murdered Wilkes in the first war, ending a long standing pureblood family and killing a member of the Wizengamot. It was justice. Nothing more." The Dark Lord's expression narrowed only briefly before he resumed to appear more neutrally. "You said the connection was continuing to evolve. How?"
"The visions became much more frequent last year. And then I had dreams where I woke up thinking I was hearing someone talk to me, but no one was there. I think those dreams were where you were here before, but I couldn't fully be here because the connection hadn't changed enough then." There. She'd only really give him one new piece of information, the rest he'd already known or suspected.
"Where does Dumbledore believe this evolution of the connection is heading? Mind reading? Possession?"
"Every time I ask Severus or Professor Dumbledore about the connection they say they don't know and that nothing like this has ever happened before. Severus believes that nothing more is happening than what we're seeing. Professor Dumbledore believes just about anything is possible with it, but we won't know until it actually happens. None of us predicted this." Fairly truthful, but also uninformative. Rachel felt that she was doing a nice job of exercising her covert lying skills. "How did you know you could visit me in my mind?"
The Dark Lord was silent for a long moment. "I followed the sensation of being watched back to its source and found myself here."
Rachel carefully kept her expression blank, but she was pretty sure the Dark Lord had just lied to her. Though she also wondered if she could do that, she was more than a little wary of the idea of visiting the Dark Lord's mind. There was really no reason to do it other than to see if she could. "Why did you tell people not to send their children to Hogwarts?"
"Don't play stupid," the Dark Lord snapped.
"I'm not. People are saying it's because you don't want students to be given a chance to learn something different from what their families might teach them. Shouldn't they be given the choice to decide for themselves? Wouldn't that make them better Death Eaters in the end?" she asked.
"Why would you say that it would make them better Death Eaters? I am protecting them from cultural brainwashing as it has already claimed three of my Death Eaters' children. Why would it be better?"
Three. Draco, Theo, and Avery. He must not know about Pansy running away; the Parkinsons must be keeping it from him. That meant that the Dark Lord wasn't seeing the students himself, which was a relief. "Because then they know for certain what they believe. They're not going to be children forever. Wouldn't you rather they saw all the possibilities before they joined you? I would think that people who know the truth of the world and still decide to join you would be your most powerful supporters."
"And what exactly is the truth of the world, as you see it?" The Dark Lord's gaze was now fixed on her.
Rachel shrugged. "We're all just people. Magical. Muggle. Some do bad things, but most don't. There's no reason for people to fight each other."
"It is not possible that you are that naive." The Dark Lord sounded angry now.
"I'm not naive. I just don't care. I have a hard enough time managing my own life without trying to tell other people what to do with theirs."
"That I would believe, but you are wrong." Thankfully he sounded a little less angry with that.
"Wrong about what?" she said, figuring she would give him a chance to vent his usual propaganda and then they could be done for the night.
"The reason you cannot manage your own life is because of other people and what they have done to you. Dumbledore has taught you not to seek power because he is afraid of what you will do with it. They taught you not to blame the people who hurt you. Can you not see that is wrong? When a child is struck by their parent, do you believe that it is the child's fault?"
"No, of course not." How could he possibly think that she would believe that?
"Then can you not see that is what they have taught you?"
"Severus would like very much if I blamed my relatives and wanted to do something about it," she pointed out.
"That's because Severus is aware of those who have wronged him, and he assigns blame appropriately, at least he did before he was neutered by Dumbledore. I can only assume you are aware that Dumbledore is the one who left you with your relatives?" he asked, still intensely focused on her.
"Yes, I know. That's what would happen to any orphaned child, they'd be sent to their nearest living relative. And your Death Eaters framed my godfather for murder and tortured my godmother to the point of insanity, so they weren't exactly options," she pointed out.
"Dumbledore abandoned you there purposefully. He knew what your relatives were like. He knew about their hatred of magic. He left you there and didn't come back for you until you were eleven years old. This was entirely by design."
"For what purpose?" Rachel asked, recognizing that he was trying to divide her from Professor Dumbledore, but still getting frustrated by this conversation.
"To prevent you from growing powerful the way I did. Did you know that Professor Dumbledore is the one who came for me? He was the one who gave me my Hogwarts letter."
Rachel frowned and tried to appear like she didn't know that. "He used to be the Transfiguration professor before he was Headmaster, wasn't he?"
"He was, but at the time he was Deputy Headmaster to Professor Dippet, which is why he was given the job to come to all of the muggleborns and explain to them that they were magical." The Dark Lord was full out scowling by now. "I already knew, of course. I knew that I was powerful, that I could do things, I just didn't have the right words for it. You knew too, didn't you? You knew you were different. You knew you could make things happen."
"I knew I was different and I knew strange things happened around me, but I didn't know I was magical. There is a children's book about a little girl with the power of telekinesis - moving things with your mind - and I thought I was a little bit like her." Matilda had been one of Rachel's favorite books when she was younger, but she had always made sure to keep the book hidden and coverless because she knew her relatives would have a fit at the idea.
"When did you first speak with a snake?" he pressed, moving closer.
"I'm not sure how old I was, maybe six or so. I would speak to the garden snakes while I was tending my aunt's garden," she said.
"I was five years old. My first snake was also a simple garden snake. When I tried to show one of the orphanage carers that the snake talked I was beaten for telling devilish lies."
"I'm sorry that happened to you," she said honestly.
"Can you not see what Dumbledore has done to you? How alike we are? But while I was set free in Hogwarts and given access to my powers, you have been confined. Severus watches over you on Dumbledore's leash, teaching you only what Dumbledore instructs that you should know. He is trying to mold you in an image of himself, but far less powerful so that you cannot turn on him. I knew to hide my abilities from Dumbledore. The way that he looked at me. He was watching me, right from my first day at Hogwarts. You can get off the leash you are on. With me you would be given free reign to explore your powers. Imagine what we could do, side by side."
Rachel did not roll her eyes, but it was a close thing. Instead she managed to keep an expression that she hoped was both worried and thoughtful. She did have to be careful how she played this. She couldn't either outright refuse him or suggest that she would do what he said. "I need evidence. I can't just take your word of what Professor Dumbledore is doing. And I trust Severus. I care about him." She knew that wouldn't place Severus in more danger. He couldn't be in more danger than he was already.
"As I have told you, I can be convinced to allow Severus to return. Perhaps you should begin testing the idea with him. Not directly, he would see through that. But by seeing if he is discontent in his position with Dumbledore."
She carefully arranged her features into a more worried, but now questioning appearance. Or at least, she hoped she was. It was hard to do this without a mirror. "Like, I should ask what he thinks about Professor Dumbledore?"
"Yes. Start there. I want to know his answer. This is all the time I have for you tonight. We'll speak again soon." The Dark Lord disappeared.
Rachel woke with a jolt and exhaled. That had been a bit abrupt. She wondered what had caused the Dark Lord to leave so suddenly. She'd hoped to get a better idea of what he was doing with the students he'd had remain home, but at least she was reasonably certain he wasn't visiting or instructing them personally.
She cast a warming charm on her blankets, put on her glasses, checked the time on her watch - 1:33 in the morning - and lit her wand so she could write down as much of the conversation as she could recall in her two-way book. She knew well enough not to believe a word the Dark Lord had said, but the things he had said still didn't sit easy with her. Hopefully Severus or Professor Dumbledore would have some advice as to where to go with this next.
"How was your first week back at school?" Torey asked once they were both settled.
"Busy. And...I'm assuming you saw the article in the Daily Prophet about some of the pureblood families not sending their children back to Hogwarts this year?" she asked.
"I did, they suggested that over fifty students were withdrawn from the school this year. Does that sound right to you?"
Rachel nodded. "That sounds about right. But what they didn't say in the paper was that about a third of Slytherin House is missing. Almost all the students in Slytherin who were on the side of the Dark Lord and blood purity are gone. Pansy came back, though she wasn't on their side but had to pretend to be, but she had to run away from home to come back to school."
"That sounds like it must have been scary for her. Pansy shares a dorm with you, doesn't she?" Torey asked.
"She does. And…I don't think I've ever told you this, but she's been sort of acting as a-" Rachel stopped and searched for the right word. "Whatever it is where you say you're spying for someone but you're actually sending misinformation. Her parents are Death Eaters and asked her to spy on me. So Severus and I have been helping her send letters home with information about me that is either harmless or is mostly not true."
Torey rubbed her forehead. "That seems like a difficult situation for everyone involved. How did you feel about that? Is she still writing the letters?"
"No more letters. I didn't like that it was happening, but I was mostly worried about Pansy. She insisted on going home for Christmas and the summer, and I was afraid she was going to get hurt. She wanted to rescue her mother from the Death Eaters, but her mother wouldn't let her. I'm not sure what to do about that."
"I don't think there is anything you can do about that, nor can Pansy. Pansy's mother is an adult, which means she gets to make choices about her life. If she doesn't want to leave the Death Eaters, for whatever reason, then that is her choice. Even if it's a painful choice to Pansy. Does Pansy want to become a Death Eater?"
"No, thankfully, and Severus says that her parents have excused her as being not fit for service to the Dark Lord, so they are protecting her from him," Rachel explained.
"They must care about her a great deal in order to protect her like that," Torey said.
Rachel thought about that and decided that must be true. They were risking themselves to ensure that Pansy was never in their position. It wasn't perfect, it would be better if they left the Death Eaters, but it was good that they were protecting Pansy.
"Does having the students who were supporting the Dark Lord gone help you feel safer at Hogwarts?"
"Yes and no. Yes, because the chances of an overwhelming threat or being cursed in the common room are now much lower. No, because I know there are still students who support the Dark Lord in the school, now I just don't know who they are. I suppose that was true before too. No one suspected Robert and Sheila. And I'm worried about what's happening to the students who didn't come back. Pansy said that her parents said she would receive tutoring, but it has to be more than that, doesn't it?" she asked.
"What do you suspect the Dark Lord might be doing with the children?" Torey asked, her expression and tone neutral.
"Well, brainwashing or indoctrination for one," Rachel pointed out, since that was pretty obvious.
"It seems likely that the parents would continue to encourage their children to follow their ideals, that's true. What else?"
Rachel looked down. "I don't know. I know not every Death Eater is an abusive parent, but look what happened to Theo and Draco. And these kids have no way of asking for help."
"You're right that this isolates them further. When they were at school, did you suspect any of them were being abused at home?" Torey asked.
"No, but I didn't know any of them well enough to suspect that. I avoided them, they avoided me. And that's actually something too. All of my Quidditch team is still at Hogwarts, and if the numbers held true with our House, I should be missing two to three people. I wonder if the people with the blood purity ideals didn't try out for the team because I was captain. What do you think?" Rachel asked.
"I think that's a reasonable thing to assume under the circumstances."
"I wonder if we would have a different team if Draco had been made captain. I suppose it doesn't really matter, and I'm glad I'm not suddenly scrambling for new players like the other teams are. Honestly, this Quidditch season should be pretty easy, which is good because that is the only thing in my life that is easy right now."
"What else is hard right now?" Torey asked.
Rachel sighed. "That's a long list. Can I ask you about something?"
"Of course. That's what I'm here for."
"So for our Arithmancy homework this summer we had to invent a spell, and I modified the spells that are used for quills to learn writing and the Steady charm so that it would work on my chisel for carving runes. And Professor Vector liked my project and wanted me to submit it to the Spell Crafting Guild. She says it could help other people who have hand tremors. And I do want to help people. But I feel really guilty that she's focusing on my project and not my friends' projects, especially because Theo and Millie want to join the Spell Crafting Guild and something like having a spell submitted to the Guild would probably help on their Mastery applications," Rachel explained.
"Do your friends know that your professor wants you to submit your spell?" Torey asked, tilting her head slightly.
"No, I haven't told them."
"Do you think it would upset them?"
Rachel frowned. "Millie is struggling a little. I don't want to undermine her self confidence. And I think Hermione would be a little jealous that my spell was chosen and not hers."
"Did your professor tell you why your spell was chosen and not theirs?" Torey asked.
"Because their spells were already registered with the guild, just under different names or incantations."
"Then it makes sense that your professor would want to submit your spell if it's something new. Would telling your friends that information help them understand better? Or, alternatively, what do you think their reaction will be if they find out later you submitted the spell, but didn't tell them about it?"
She hadn't thought of that. "I just don't want to feel guilty about it."
"Why do you think you feel guilty about it? Why does doing something well cause you to feel guilt?" Torey asked.
Rachel sat with that for a long moment as she tried to sort out what the problem was. "I think it's like last year, when the group chose my potion to be judged in the Potions Championship. I don't like doing things better than my friends."
"Why?" Torey asked again.
She thought about it some more, but didn't like the answer she came up with. "I like my position in the group. Hermione and Theo are the smart ones. I'm the person who specializes in potions. I don't feel guilty about my potion modifications this summer, because that's sort of what I'm supposed to be doing. It fits with my role. I didn't like the group choosing my potion over Hermione's because she's the one who is supposed to do things the best. And same with the spell, it's not my role to do things the best in the group. I like my friends and I don't want to do anything that upsets that balance."
"What do you think will happen with your friends if you act outside of your supposed role?"
Rachel shrugged. "Last year, I could tell that Hermione was a little hurt when the group picked my potion instead of hers. Even though after we talked with Professor Slughorn about it, she agreed that my potion was scored higher than hers would have been. I just don't want to hurt anyone."
"Did this cause problems later with Hermione?"
"No, not at all. I just felt guilty about it."
"Then I would guess that Hermione got over it. Just like you, Hermione has to confront that she's not going to be perfect in everything that she does. Sometimes other people will score better than her and that's okay. It's possible she'll be a little upset that your spell was chosen over hers, but I think she's also smart enough to recognize that your spell is new and hers wasn't and that's a valid reason for the professor to choose your spell," Torey suggested.
"Maybe. I just hate hurting people," she said, feeling uncomfortable at the very idea of even accidentally hurting one of her friends.
"That's understandable. You're a kind and empathetic person. But I don't think that you accomplishing something is going to hurt your friends. They might feel a little jealous, but that's okay. That is their feeling to manage."
"I guess. Maybe I'll tell them if it's accepted by the Guild. I haven't told them about my potions yet because I want to see what the Potions Guild says first." Rachel shrugged again. She supposed she did need to tell them if her spells were accepted by the Spell Crafting Guild, because they definitely wouldn't understand why she kept it a secret.
"That seems reasonable, and it gives you a little more time to understand how you feel about all of this. Maybe spend some time thinking about guilt and where it's coming from for you in different situations," Torey suggested.
That sounded like an absolutely miserable thing to do. "I'll try," she said. As soon as she could find the time to do so.
"Please come in. Before we begin, may we speak?" Professor Dumbledore asked, looking up from the work on his desk.
Rachel let herself into his office, giving Fawkes a small wave before approaching Professor Dumbledore's desk. "Yes, sir. What about?" she asked, though she suspected that she knew exactly what he wanted to talk about.
"I've been keeping track of your updates. Please sit down," he said, motioning to one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Would you like tea? Or a sweet?"
"No, thank you," she said as she sat.
"First, as much as I appreciate you checking on Voldemort, I think we should limit your contact with him more. Perhaps check in the morning and in the evening, rather than throughout the day," he began.
"Wouldn't it be helpful to know if he has some sort of schedule? And then we can tell if he's deviating from it," she pointed out.
"I can see the usefulness of such a thing, but think it is wiser for us to try and limit the expansion of your connection as much as possible. I'm concerned that by accessing the connection more frequently that we may be opening it to new possibilities. And there is also the possibility that Voldemort knows when you are checking."
Rachel definitely didn't want that to happen. "Maybe at random times then, so it's not obviously a schedule, but no more than three times a day, or when he causes my scar to twinge or prickle, because then I definitely need to check out what's going on."
"I think that seems reasonable for the time being. I'd also like to get your thoughts about your latest conversation with him," Professor Dumbledore said, his expression only mildly curious.
"I understand that he's trying to make me not trust you. I don't believe what he's telling me," she assured him, figuring that's what he wanted to hear. "I only asked for evidence as a way to stall him. Right now our strategy is mostly stalling him without giving him more information."
"That's a good strategy, but I also want you to know that his efforts will only get more manipulative from here. Right now he is being direct, but you need to be prepared for when he isn't being obvious in his manipulations. Has Severus discussed some of Voldemort's usual strategies and tactics with you?"
"Yes, he has, and we usually talk about whatever happened in the conversation afterward too." Rachel was sure that Severus would talk to her about it on Sunday when they met for dinner.
"Good. I want you to know that I will answer you honestly. It's entirely possible that Voldemort will tell you things about me and my history that would cause you to question me. I am telling you upfront that you can ask me anything about me and I will give you the truth." He looked entirely serious, his mouth set and his blue eyes focused on her.
Rachel hesitated as she thought this over. "Is there something in particular that you're worried about him telling me?" she asked, since to her it seemed like there was.
"I had a troubled youth, and for a time espoused ideals of magical superiority, ideals that I am now ashamed of," Professor Dumbledore admitted.
She blinked a few times, trying to understand that. Professor Dumbledore supporting blood purity seemed almost unfathomable given what she knew about him. But then, she didn't know him all that well, not really. She knew him as the Headmaster, not as a person. "But you changed your mind?" she asked, a little redundantly since she knew that he had.
"I did. Once I left home and began to see a little outside of myself and became a little less self centered, I learned a great deal. In France, when I was working with Nicolas, who became a dear friend to me but at the time was my mentor, I met many people, and I began to get to know some muggles as well. I learned that intelligence and power weren't everything. I learned that I could make mistakes and be forgiven for them, and even forgive myself for some of them. I learned that it was alright to have regrets." He seemed almost wistful.
Rachel remembered just this summer Draco seeming surprised that he'd just had tea with muggles and that it wasn't so bad. She supposed that anyone who had been isolated in the magical world might have some odd ideas about people they'd never met before. "I'm glad you had that opportunity," she said honestly. The idea of someone as powerful and as influential as Professor Dumbledore championing pureblood superiority was a bit frightening. There might not have even been a war with the Dark Lord, people might have simply agreed with him.
"I was very fortunate in that regard," he agreed. "Do you have concerns about the fact that I placed you with your relatives?"
"I don't think you could have predicted the outcome," she said, wishing they weren't having this conversation. "And I think under most circumstances it's reasonable to place an orphaned child with their closest relatives. And I know about the blood wards. While I wish things had been different, I understand why they weren't."
"I deeply regret not doing more. I had believed the protections were enough to keep you safe. I simply did not anticipate that…that the situation would become so dire. Do you feel as though I am limiting you? That I have prevented you from growing?"
"No, not at all. I've had the opportunity to learn more things than most Hogwarts students, thanks to Severus and to you. I think the Dark Lord is a little confused."
"Confused?" he asked, seeming surprised by the notion.
"He seems to go back and forth between saying that I'm stupid or that I'm intelligent, or that I'm weak, or that I could be powerful. He's not very consistent," she explained.
"He chooses whatever suits his needs at the time. In the case of last night, he wished to lure you with the idea that you could be powerful and that I am preventing you from becoming so. Remember that for Voldemort, power is the ultimate desire. He can't fathom that someone wouldn't want it. Any denials that you don't wish for power would be viewed as lies," Professor Dumbledore explained.
Rachel nodded. That was good to know, she didn't want to purposefully anger the Dark Lord by causing him to think she was trying to lie to him. "Am I doing alright with these conversations?"
"Yes, you are doing admirably. The main thing is to try and keep your goals in mind, a difficult task when you are maneuvering with Voldemort himself. Our first goal is to limit the information he is given and to provide misinformation in certain circumstances. Keep using me and Severus as scapegoats as neither of us will be in further danger by anything you tell him. Our second goal is to draw these more neutral conversations out as long as possible, both to delay him killing people in your name, and to continue to get information on his mindset and objectives. Thus far you are accomplishing both of those goals. Lean into the idea that Severus and I keep information from you, but only a little at a time, hints here and there. Allow him to explain things to you, even if he is blatantly lying. Appear to be somewhat suspicious of what he is telling you, but not outright rejecting it either."
It was a lot to keep in mind, but she thought she could do it. "It's a bit intense in the moment, but I'm kind of just trying to keep the conversations less on me and more on getting him to talk."
"That's a good strategy, he will want to speak about himself and his beliefs. Was there anything you wanted to discuss before we begin tonight?" Professor Dumbledore asked.
"No, I think we've covered everything." More than she'd wanted to talk about, really.
"Let's begin then." Professor Dumbledore began to secure the room, first going to the fireplace and then to the doors. Finally he conjured the lounge chairs they'd been using in the center of the room.
Rachel took the chair on the left, as she always did, and settled in.
"Do you need my guidance to find the way out of your mind this time?" he asked.
"Let me try myself, and I'll let you know if I can't do it," she said.
"A wise decision. I will meet you on the outskirts of your mind. Relax your body before we start," he reminded her.
Rachel worked on relaxing her body and then met Professor Dumbledore's eyes and then dropped into her mind. She left her doors with no hesitation this time and went out into the mists. She found him there. "This might take a little bit."
"That is fine. Take your time. We are not in a rush."
Rachel closed her eyes within her mind and pictured the ocean she'd used last time. The waves. The shore. The clear blue sky stretching up into forever. She walked into the chill waters, wondering why she couldn't imagine a warm ocean, and waded out until it was too deep for her to stand. From there she focused on breathing while the waves washed her out into the ocean. She was sure the key was to focus on the movement, slowly going away from her shore and her mind. After what seemed like a long time, she looked back and couldn't see the beach any longer.
She opened her eyes and found herself back in the strange shadowy magic world. Her soul and Professor Dumbledore's soul were there, along with dozens and dozens of magical imprints in his office. She began looking around the castle, through the walls. "Wow, there's a lot more souls here this time. I suppose that's all the students here now."
"That would make sense," came Professor Dumbledore's voice. "Now that you are here, I want you to attempt to focus on your connection to Voldemort. Everything has slight differences that you will learn to interpret. Since we do not have a number of years to simply interpret as we go, I would like you to see if you can identify what represents Voldemort. There are four objects here in my office that should resonate with your connection. I brought them out of the wards they are usually in so that you will be able to see them more quickly."
Rachel frowned. "Where are they in your office?" Why hadn't he just shown here where they were while they were in his office?
"While they should be within the space around my office they are likely not occupying the same physical space. Check on the shelves behind my desk and see what you find."
Rachel floated over to where his desk should be, though it wasn't represented here, nor were the shelves represented. "I can see where the portraits on the walls should be behind your desk."
"Human souls, portraits, and ghosts will all have a more one-to-one representation here than objects. I was hoping that given they are housing pieces of a soul that they would be the same, but that does not seem to be the case. Pick one of the representations in the area and try to reach out your senses to examine it. Do not worry if you do not succeed today or in the near future. This is a long process."
Not entirely sure how to access her connection to the Dark Lord, she tried to reach out to see what he was feeling, but nothing returned to her. That was annoying. She moved to one of the objects that wasn't a portrait. It looked like a little golden flame, but as she watched it she saw there were traces of blue and green in the flame as well. Cautiously she moved her hand up to it and found that it didn't let off heat. Satisfied that it wouldn't burn her, she ran her fingers through it, trying to get any sort of…well anything, from it that she could.
She was slowly coming to the conclusion that mind magic was a pain in the ass and was far more trouble than it was worth.
After spending what felt like both a long and short time staring at flame, trying to listen to it, and running her fingers through it, she only had one idea. "It might be made of metal."
"That's good enough for now. Come on back to your own mind and let's be done for the night," Professor Dumbledore said.
Feeling somewhat defeated, Rachel closed her eyes and called up her ocean again. On her list of things to do was to find a faster way in and out of this…wherever she was.
At some point later, which also felt like a long time and a short time, Rachel opened her eyes and was hit by a wave of fatigue. "Sorry," she said.
"There is nothing for you to apologize for. This is a difficult learning process and you are doing well. As it is past curfew, I will walk you to your common room," he said, rising from the lounge chair.
Rachel covered her yawn and got up as well. "Thank you for teaching me."
"Not at all, Rachel. Thank you for being willing to do this. I know it is not an ideal situation by any means. Please let me know if you need a break from doing this. I do not wish to have an ill effect on you or your health."
"I'm fine, but thank you." She definitely wasn't taking a break. Out of everything she was doing, this was the thing that could help with the war. She'd drop a class before she stopped doing this.
They walked in silence down to the common room. Rachel noticed that the common room didn't open automatically for him the way it did for Severus, which was interesting. "Thank you, sir. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, rest well," he said.
Rachel said the password and went into the common room. She found Theo and Millie sitting on the sofas in front of the fireplace with the rest of the seventh years and the prefects.
"Professor Snape walked you back?" Pansy asked.
"He did," she lied. They weren't telling anyone except the study group that she was taking lessons from Professor Dumbledore. "I'm heading to bed. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Theo said, though his expression was curious.
"I'm done for the night too," Millie said as she stood. "Goodnight."
They went to their dorm together.
"How'd it go?" Millie asked.
"Exhausting, but alright. I'm not making very much progress." Rachel yawned again. "I can't tell if he's telling me it will take time in order to encourage me or because it actually takes time."
"Do you think Professor Dumbledore would lie to you?" Millie asked.
Rachel bit back her immediate response of 'yes'. "I don't know," she settled on, though she rather expected that Professor Dumbledore would lie if it helped him win the war. She knew he was keeping a lot of secrets, since she knew some of those secrets herself.
"I'd say if Professor Dumbledore thinks something is difficult, it's probably difficult," Millie said, petting Midnight, who had surfaced at the sound of their voices.
"Maybe. Hopefully it will get easier over time." Rachel pulled out her toothbrush and toothpaste and her nightgown. She was officially done for the day.
Rachel was still tired when it was time for them to go to Professor McGonagall's classroom at nine the next morning. She would see if Professor Dumbledore could do her lessons on Friday evening, but she had to be up for therapy on Saturday mornings. There simply wasn't a day of the week where she could sleep in right now. Hopefully she'd get used to it the more they practiced Looking through space.
"What do you think we're going to be doing?" Millie asked as they went up the stairs.
"Given what I read in the books, more meditating," Theo said.
"We seem to do a lot of meditating," Neville pointed out.
"We do, but it's supposed to be good for you. Many muggles do it as a way of relaxing and organizing their minds," Hermione said.
Meditating could be relaxing, Rachel often used it to fall asleep, though she was staying up later and later trying to keep up with everything. She didn't actually mind staying up later - that meant less time for nightmares. It just made getting up in the morning a bit of a struggle.
They found the door to Professor McGonagall's classroom open. In the center were six large square pillows on the floor.
"Please shut the door behind you," she said, looking up from whatever it was that she was working on at her desk. "Come take a seat on the pillows."
They did as instructed, Rachel settling in between Millie and Neville.
Professor McGonagall joined them, sitting on the pillow that was facing their semi-circle. "While you can continue doing the standard animagus meditations on your own, do not do any of the practices we are doing here unless you are supervised by me. There is always a risk of accidental partial transformation, even before you have taken the potion. I anticipate that you'll be taking the Animagus Revealing Potion within the next three to four months, depending on the progress that you make here. The potion will reveal your form. After you have experienced your form, you will then be focusing on achieving the transformation without the assistance of the potion. That typically takes people another four to six months. Assuming we are on an approximately average schedule, you should be able to access your form at will before you leave Hogwarts. You are welcome to stop this process at any time before you take the potion, and I urge you to do so if you have misgivings."
Hermione raised her hand. "What happens if you take the potion but don't continue the process of achieving your form?"
"You run the risk of spontaneous form change, usually when under great duress. Sometimes it is a partial change, sometimes it is a full change, and it is possible to get stuck that way. Does anyone have questions or concerns now before we begin?" Professor McGonagall asked.
Millie raised her hand. "If you don't like your form, do you have to use it once you are finished with the process? I'm worried I'm going to turn into a slug or something."
"I very much doubt you would turn into a slug, Miss Bulstrode. Much like your Patronus form, your animagus form is a reflection of you and your soul. Most people are as comfortable in their animagus forms as they are in their own bodies. That being said, you won't feel any sort of imperative to turn into your form once you've finished the process. You can transform, or not, at will."
"Do people have any influence at all of what form they take? Is it entirely subconscious?" Theo asked.
"Unfortunately, no, you can not influence what your form will be," she said.
"What if I turn into my Patronus form and I'm not in water?" he asked quickly.
"In that case, I would conjure a tank and place you in the water. However, I've never known anyone with a form that was not able to survive on land, so I think we can likely say that your animagus form will not be the same as your Patronus form."
Neville raised his hand. "If both our Patronus form and our animagus forms are reflections of us, how can they be different?"
"Your animagus form is a much truer representation than your Patronus form. Your Patronus form can change under a number of circumstances, it's not uncommon for family members or romantic partners to have the same or similar Patronus forms," she explained.
Rachel blinked a few times. Her dad's form was a stag. Her mom's form was a doe. Severus' form was a doe. They'd all learned the Patronus charm around the same time. What the hell did that mean? She knew her dad's animagus form was a stag, and that he'd been an animagus before he'd learned the Patronus charm. So her mom loved her dad, so it made sense that her Patronus form might become a doe based on her feelings for him. And then Severus' form became a doe, because of his feelings for her mom? But by that time they weren't even speaking to each other. Maybe she didn't even want to go there.
"How does that account for people changing over time? Surely we won't be the same at sixty years old as we are now?" Hermione asked.
"You will certainly change as you grow, but some of your core attributes will remain the same. I've never known anyone's animagus form to change after they achieved it."
Rachel thought that sounded true based on her experiences with changing over the past six years. While she was a different person than she'd been when she'd first started Hogwarts, there was a lot of her that had stayed the same. She had grown, and had learned a lot, and had found people she really cared about. She thought those were the important parts.
"If there are no more questions for now, we'll begin. Our first task is to achieve what is called a mixed mediation. To begin we will be practicing the meditation where you focus on different parts of your body while you hold your magic. This is essential for the animagus process, because you will be doing the same thing as you learn to reach for your form. Eventually you will be focusing on the sensation of your body changing while you are holding your magic. Start with holding your magic, and then focus on whatever aspect of your body is easiest for you to focus on. You can help this at first by flexing or tightening your muscles," Professor McGonagall directed. "Close your eyes."
Rachel closed her eyes, reached for her magic, and exhaled. She could do this.
"We're with the Chasers today. I need to watch Penelope and see how she does and you need to start learning some Chaser moves," Rachel told Viola on the way out to the pitch.
"Why do I need to learn how to be a Chaser? I'm not a Chaser," Viola said.
"Because it teaches you maneuverability and how to safely fly through the Chasers playing without anyone getting hit. And besides, as Marcus told me, and I've heard Cedric say it too, good Seekers can do both," Rachel explained.
"I've seen you have to go through Chasers to get to the Snitch," she said, sounding enthused. "It was really cool."
"And it's something you need to practice. We don't have enough people to really simulate what it's like when the Chasers are flying in a game, but flying among them will help you be able to predict what they're going to do next so you can safely fly through them." Rachel was still tired. Professor McGonagall had kept them until eleven, then the study group had gone back and did NEWT revision for an hour and a half, then they had lunch. Now she had two hours of Quidditch practice, a short break with which to make her way up to the seventh floor, and then Defense practice.
She was beginning to realize that she was wrong in her previous assessment. Wednesday was not going to be the worst day of her week. Sunday was.
The rest of her team was just arriving and Penelope was waiting for them on the pitch while clinging to her broom.
"Alright. Scarlett and Stephen, take the Bludgers to the other half of the pitch if you would. Timothy in the goal. The rest of us are working on basic Chaser maneuvers, drills, and shooting at the goals. Penelope, have you played Chaser role before?" Rachel asked.
"I'm always Seeker in the youth league, but I'll learn the Chaser position, and I've casually played Chaser's Folly before," Penelope said, looking determined.
"Good. Viola and I are doing Chaser drills with you today. Let's start with safely passing. Up in the air," she directed. If they had to train a Chaser from scratch, so be it.
The basic drills were simple - pass to a teammate and fall back, pass to a teammate and move forward, pass to a teammate and dodge around the incoming team. Penelope and Viola weren't terrible. They could at least catch and then throw the Quaffle with reasonable accuracy and that would get better over time. And the team was in good shape overall. They could afford to do this sort of training.
Rachel fell back after passing to Viola. "Go for the goal." It was an easy save for Timothy and he tossed the Quaffle back out to Harper.
"Let's go," Draco called.
She was about to follow up on the pass when a strange darkness passed over her vision. She tightened her grip on her broom, but as quickly as it had come it was gone again. Cautiously she reached out for the Dark Lord, reminding herself not to think at him. She didn't want him to hear her thoughts, she just wanted to know what had happened. The Dark Lord was focused and she was not at all certain that hadn't been him.
After waiting a minute or two, she figured it wasn't going to come back. And she wasn't going to tell anyone about this right away. If it happened again while she was in the air, then she'd tell Severus, but she was not getting herself grounded for the entire Quidditch season on the off chance she might lose her vision for a few seconds.
Rachel rejoined the Chasers, trying to push out thoughts of all the things she needed to do, of the war, of the Dark Lord, and of everything else. She just wanted to fly.
"So, where is this special room of yours?" Kingsley asked when the group met him and Tonks in the entrance hall.
"Seventh floor, hope you don't mind the staircases," Theo said.
"Not at all, I remember them well. I took Ancient Runes and Arithmancy, so I was often going up there," Kingsley said as they began climbing.
"How long ago did you go to Hogwarts?" Ron asked.
"I finished in '67, it was in '64 when the curse on the Defense position took effect. Our professor, Erik Tomlinson, died in a freak accident at the end of '64. From then on forward, we couldn't keep a Defense professor for longer than a year. The aurors and the MLE saw a serious drop off in applications over the next ten years. Students were less likely to take a Defense NEWT when they didn't know who the teacher would be. All You-Know-Who's design, I'm sure, but it was still better than Dumbledore giving him the Defense position," Kingsley explained.
"Could you imagine You-Know-Who as a professor?" Millie asked, her eyes wide. "Imagine getting detention with him."
If anything could possibly be worse than detention with Umbridge it would have to be detention with the Dark Lord. Rachel shivered. She was glad Professor Dumbledore had seen through the Dark Lord's act and denied him the position, even if it meant the position was cursed.
"Obviously his true aim would have been to recruit within the school, he already had Death Eaters by that point, though they didn't go by that name at the time," Draco said.
"That's true, they were originally known as the Knights of Walpurgis," Kingsley said, nodding to Draco.
"Why did they change their name? Who was Walpurgis?" Millie asked as they rounded the third floor landing.
"No one seems to know why the name changed, but we believe it's based on Saint Walpurga, a witch who ran a magical monastery a little over a thousand years ago, before the founding of Hogwarts. The monastery focused on magical healing and the warding of what they termed as evil spirits, which what little records we have from the time suggest were dark creatures. It's one of the first recorded long term magical gatherings for a higher purpose, as in the time before that, most magical people were only connected through their extended families, though they would send their children to other families if they wanted to train for a particular specialty," Kingsley explained. "Likely You-Know-Who conveniently latched onto the idea of a gathering for a higher purpose and ignored the parts about healing and being against dark creatures."
"I wish our history class was better," Ginny said.
"Another situation where the difficulty in finding a qualified teacher has damaged the long term education of our nation. Many well-off purebloods receive history tutoring as children, but that is often biased based on the family's beliefs. Many students never are taught about our history after the 1800s, which is generally when the OWL lessons end. How many of you received history tutoring?" Kingsley asked.
"I did," Theo said.
"Me too," Neville said.
"I did as well, but I've been learning very different things about history here at Hogwarts than I was taught at home," Draco said.
"My mother taught me some," Luna said.
"Our mom did too," Ginny said.
"I wonder if we can talk to Professor Dumbledore about getting a different history teacher," Hermione said.
"Dumbledore is aware of the problem, he just doesn't have a solution for it. Binns has been teaching since Dumbledore was a student himself. There's simply no one with better qualifications to teach history. There hasn't been a NEWT student in history for at least fifty years, if not longer. They didn't even bother to update the OWL and NEWT exams for the subject the last time they did revisions."
"There has to be something we can do," Hermione insisted.
"I think you're fighting a losing battle there," Tonks said.
"But history is important. How can we change the world as it is now if we don't know what came before and why? We spend an entire year on the Goblin Rebellions when we should be learning about how our government came to be and how it works and major political movements," Hermione said. "Is there a book? There has to be books."
"If you're really interested, I'll get you in touch with one of my cousins. At the very least she can recommend you books on the topics you're interested in, she did a history study when she went to France for her runes apprenticeship," Kingsley said.
"Yes, please. I would like that very much," Hermione said.
"How is the school now that so many people are gone? How is your common room?" Tonks asked.
"Quieter. We know there are still people here we need to watch out for, but we're not sure who they are right now," Theo said.
"At the very least no one is hexing each other in our common room or in the halls now," Millie said.
"Don't drop your guard. There's always the possibility of spies," Kingsley directed.
"We know. I don't think any of us could drop our guard right now if we wanted to," Draco said, looking a little stressed.
"Good. While in general, hypervigilance isn't a good sign, but when you're in a situation where the possibility of attack is there, it will help you," Kingsley said.
"Do you know what's happening to the kids who are gone?" Ron asked.
"As far as we can see, like minded tutors have been hired by a number of prominent families. Otherwise, we don't know," Kingsley said.
"We don't think it's likely anything bad is happening to them beyond the usual blood purity indoctrination," Tonks added.
Rachel still wasn't sure about that, but she couldn't tell if that was just her own fears about people being stuck with their families or if there really was something terrible happening to those kids.
They came to a stop on the seventh floor outside the corridor.
"We'll teach you how to use the room so you can set it up with what you want. You're going to go down the corridor and pace three times in front of the doorway while thinking hard about what you want. There are some limitations such as size and height. It seems to have trouble with water, though we can occasionally get plants. One of us can demonstrate one of the obstacle courses we've been using with the DA so you get an idea," Hermione said.
"I'll do it," Luna said before hurrying down the hall.
"You never told me how you found this room, it's pretty incredible," Tonks said.
"Curbin told me about it when I told him I was looking for a place where we could prepare for the Triwizard Tournament tasks. It's called the Room of Requirement," Rachel explained.
"We used it to shelter our secret Defense club in fifth year and to study and hide from the Inquisitorial Squad and Professor Umbridge," Theo added.
"How many people know about this room?" Kingsley asked.
"The DA knows that it's there, but not how to work it. As far as we know, our study group is the only ones who know how it works," Ginny said.
"And Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape," Rachel said. "I don't think the other professors know."
"Alright," Luna called.
Tonks and Kingsley came down the hall and peered inside, Kingsley nodding to himself. "We can work with this. But I can make changes, correct?"
"Sure, come back down the hall and it will disappear after a moment, and then you can make a room," Luna explained.
They did so and they watched as one moment there was a door and the next it was gone.
Kingsley went back down the hallway and began to pace. When the door appeared again, he looked inside. "Let's start here. I want to begin with situations you're likely to encounter."
The group went down the hall and found that the room now looked like the Charms corridor.
"In case we get attacked in Hogwarts," Ron said, nodding.
"That's the idea. Let's start with all of you and then we'll break into smaller groups. Tonks and I are attacking, you're defending and fighting back. The goal is to drive us back with the practice spell while being hit as few times as possible yourselves," Kingsley directed.
Rachel steadied herself. This was good. She needed to practice this. She just hated the creeping feeling of dread that seemed to climb her body. Trying to push it away, Rachel focused herself. This was important.
With everyone in position, the attack began. Shields flickered in and out as they defended themselves and Rachel found a doorway and opened it. Just inside the doorway she worked on firing back, though her heart was pounding. It was just Tonks and Kingsley, she reminded herself.
She saw Kingsley aiming at her, his wand pointing directly at her, and she felt a jolt of pain through her body even though he hadn't cast anything yet. She jerked inside the classroom and closed the door entirely. For a moment there, she'd seen a Death Eater with his wand raised at her, ready to cast the Cruciatus curse.
The fight outside the door was mostly quiet and she concentrated on breathing and reminding herself that there were no Death Eaters here. She had to figure out a way to work past that panic without running away. It felt like she hadn't even thought about it, she'd just reacted.
She leaned against the wall, wondering what she was going to do. The only thing she could think to do was to keep trying, but she didn't know how to stop this from happening again. She supposed she should talk to Torey about it. Kingsley had said his Mind Healer had helped him.
A knock on the door startled her and she unthinkingly cast the Shield charm. As a startle reaction, that wasn't too bad, she decided. She opened the door and found Tonks waiting for her.
"Alright?" Tonks asked.
"Fine," Rachel said, though she certainly didn't feel fine.
"You did the right thing. If you get to the point in a battle where you can't fight, removing yourself is the correct choice for both you and your teammates. Ready to try again?" Tonks asked, looking a little concerned.
Rachel nodded. "Yes. Ready." She would keep trying until she got it. There wasn't much of a choice.
Severus looked up at the sound of his office door closing and then glanced at the clock on the mantel. Rachel was a little early for dinner. He set aside his grading and watched as she came through the wall. She looked weary, with her shoulders sagging and an unhappy expression.
"Long week?" he asked.
"Yes." She came over and sat down on the sofa across from him and set down her bag. "You too, I'm sure."
"Yes," he agreed. The letters they'd received back from parents were all withdrawal notifications. Those students were now beyond his influence. "I do have some good news."
"Good news seems to be in short supply right now. What is it?"
"The Potions Guild finished their testing. One of your potions has been accepted as a modification and does what we hoped it would. Test subjects who took it felt mildly drowsy, but could still keep themselves awake for several hours. When they did sleep, they did not recall their dreams. The potion you invented has been accepted as an alternative formulation for Dreamless Sleep with similar efficiency to the original potion and is cheaper to brew. I have the brewers certificates, which you can either leave with me for now, or you can put them in a safe place," he explained, watching Rachel closely. She should publish her findings, but that could wait until she'd begun her Mastery.
Rachel nodded a few times, but mostly seemed tired. "That's good, I suppose. It did what we wanted it to do."
"It's very good. Congratulations. Have you not been sleeping well?"
"I'm sleeping alright," she said unhelpfully.
"Alright in what fashion?" he probed.
She sighed. "I'm getting enough sleep. The Looking through space thing just wears me out and Sundays are now busy days for me. It wouldn't work to change my lesson to Friday nights because I have to get up to see Torey on Saturday. I'll adjust to the schedule, I just need some time to do it. And hopefully the Looking through space lessons won't last very long either."
"Because you're making progress or because this doesn't seem like a viable solution?" he asked, unable to tell from her expression.
"We've made some progress. I can get to…wherever it is that I go. Now we just have to figure out if I can identify what the horcruxes look like and then look for something that looks similar to that."
Severus was less sure that this method was going to bear fruit. To him that sounded like a rather impossible task. "You can choose when you don't wish to do that anymore. Same with any of the activities you are doing."
She raised her eyebrows at him. "We need to find that horcrux. The whole war hinges on this."
"Perhaps, but it is also not your responsibility. If it is too taxing on you, or it is making you ill, you should stop." He would not let Albus make her ill again over this. "You are eating in the Great Hall?"
"At every meal. You can even ask my friends," she said, sounding irritated.
"I do not need their observations, I merely want your word." It would become evident enough from Poppy's examinations if Rachel had reverted to not eating.
"Can I ask what is probably a stupid question?" she asked abruptly.
"Of course."
"What's stopping us from just taking the Dark Lord out of his body again, then dealing with the horcruxes, and then dealing with him when he gets back into a body? Wouldn't that stop the war and give us more time?"
Severus sat back in his chair as he considered that. It was a somewhat novel idea. "That may be our next step if we can't find the cup horcrux in a reasonable amount of time," he said. It was a stop-gap measure at best and would quite likely lead to a third war, but at least it would prevent them from losing Britain entirely. "There would still be the matter of actually killing his body, which would be very difficult to accomplish."
"Just as long as we're considering all of our options," she said, managing to look thoughtful.
"I'm sure Albus is considering the situation from all angles. There is something we should discuss, but if it would help you eat, we can wait until after dinner." He didn't wish to upset her before she ate.
Rachel shook her head. "Now is fine. If you really don't want to worry me, don't tell me that there's something we need to discuss until after we eat."
"Noted." He'd do that in the future. "I'd like to talk with you about the conversation that you had with the Dark Lord on Friday night."
"Professor Dumbledore already did. I'm a little…" Rachel trailed off and pressed her lips together. "It's a little upsetting that both of you think I'd be swayed this easily. There's nothing that the Dark Lord can tell me that will make me not trust you."
"Even the details of the murders that I committed? The details of me torturing someone?" he asked, though that had not been the subject he'd wanted to bring up with her.
"I certainly wouldn't like hearing that, but you have already told me that you've done those things. It's not like you were keeping it from me. One of the first things you told me after you adopted me was that you used to be a Death Eater. And I didn't really have the context to understand that at the time, but you wanted me to hear it from you. If I suddenly found out five years later that you used to be a Death Eater, I think I'd understandably be pretty upset," she said, frowning deeply. "You even told me that you were the one who told the Dark Lord the prophecy. I don't particularly like it, but I get it and I accept it. I don't know what you think the Dark Lord can tell me that would cause me not to trust you."
Severus considered that for a moment. "I'm not sure what else he would tell you either. You are aware of what my life was like. What about Albus?"
"Professor Dumbledore told me about that too."
He frowned, suddenly lost. "Albus told you about what?"
"About his past. Did he not tell you?" she asked.
"No, he did not," he said, his mind spinning on that for a moment. He knew Albus was far from perfect, but he wasn't certain what it was he would have told Rachel.
Rachel shrugged. "I'm not really comfortable sharing that if Professor Dumbledore hasn't shared it with you, but I think the point is that while I trust you more than I trust Professor Dumbledore, I think the idea is that we both trust him with the path of the war. Don't we?"
"In general, yes. Though I would prefer that if Albus is asking for you to do something for the war that he comes through me." He had still yet to hear a plan he was comfortable with for the final confrontation with the Dark Lord, but that was a ways off yet. "It is not that Albus or I believe that you will be swayed. The Dark Lord is a master manipulator and we want you to understand the way he is attempting to manipulate you so that you can respond appropriately to him. That's what I wanted to talk about today."
"Alright. I think that's reasonable," she agreed.
"The first thing I want you to notice, and you will see this all the time in the Wizengamot when you take your seat because this is a classic political maneuver, is that the Dark Lord started with facts that you could both agree on. He checked to make sure you knew something, in this case that Albus placed you with your relatives, and that you both agreed on that fact. And then he started to make extrapolations from that fact, saying that because Albus placed you with your relatives, he was trying to limit your power, that he was controlling you. You'll see him doing this fairly often. He wants that common starting ground, and pushes his own agenda in small steps from that ground. If you can nod along to one thing, that makes it easier to agree with the next step, and so forth. It's a very short walk from purebloods are naturally better at magic than muggleborns, to we must prevent muggleborns from gaining positions of power, to muggleborns should be excluded, to muggleborns should be killed so they can't breed and produce inferior offspring. Most people that are coming to newly join the Dark Lord start with purebloods are better than muggleborns. They don't start out at we should kill muggleborns."
Rachel nodded. "If he thinks he can gain ground to sway me away from Professor Dumbledore even a little, it gives him more room to do so in the future."
"Precisely. The next thing I want you to notice is that he tried to create parallels between you and him. He wants you to believe that you are similar. Expect that he'll play on that again in the future. This time he wanted to draw both on your childhoods and on your parseltongue ability. It's entirely possible that the story he told about being beaten as a child for speaking with snakes wasn't true. Expect the Dark Lord to lie to you to manipulate you. He wants to gain your sympathy. He knows you are an empathetic person and one of the best things he can do in his case is to get you to see him as more than the enemy."
Her forehead wrinkled as she seemed to think. "You think he made up a story about being abused?"
"It could go either way. I don't know if it is true, I rather doubt there is anyone who could speak to his young childhood, but I want you to be aware of the possibility," he said, knowing this was a difficult topic for Rachel. He would not sit back and let her be manipulated.
She rested her hand over her mouth and sat still for a long time. "I don't know," she said.
"When he's talking to you, and afterward, notice where he's trying to make connections to you, whether it is to cast you as similar to him, to say you had similar experiences, or to say that your understanding of your experiences is skewed. Always ask yourself what he gains from what he's saying. Do you have any questions for right now?" he asked, sensing that Rachel was done with this conversation.
"No, not right now. I'm ready for dinner and then I'm going to have an early night in the dorm," she said.
"Let's eat and then you can get some rest," he agreed. He wanted her to eat and rest as much as she could. There was no doubt that this was going to be a difficult school term.