The Deal

Chapter Summary

Ratchet has come to accept the emotions and feelings that have blossomed inside of him for Rivet. Upon learning of something which the female Lombax wants very, very much, Ratchet decides to acquire it for her as a gift and hopefully win her affection. However, the current possessor of this fine treasure is not going to give it up easily, leading us to Ratchet's first test of the day - what sort of price is Rivet's happiness worth?

"Are you sure you do not need more rest? It was a late night for all of us, I will more than understand if-"

"No, really pal I'm fine; I'll get back into it once I move around some more and get some food."

It was late in the morning; Ratchet and Clank were among the last in the cafeteria eating breakfast. The pair had been held up by the Lombax, whose mind was so clouded with new emotions and anxieties that he hadn't fallen to sleep until somewhere between 3 and 4 AM, his mind forcing image after wonderful image of Rivet upon him, then image after image of Talwyn, either in tears or in a rage at him, throwing the male into a constant tug-o-war between pleasurably flustered and throes of dread.

Ratchet had hoped the sight of the female Lombax would give him the boost he needed to shake him from his anxious and sleep-deprived stupor, but she and Kit had clearly finished their breakfast hours ago, as neither were there when he and Clank arrived, and they never showed up.

Clank watched as his best friend brought the spoon to his mouth and back to his bowl of oats with unusual listlessness. Although Clank couldn't complain at the lack of poor table manners, he did not need to study the Lombax's behavior to know that something beyond his obvious lack of sleep was troubling him. Out of respect for his friend however, he declined to comment further, knowing that he would tell him once he was ready.

"Morning guys."

Both looked up. To Clank's moderate pleasure and sending yet another spike of anxiety through the Lombax, Talwyn approached the table.

Clank wish her a good morning and returned to his toast. Ratchet however had frozen.

"H-h-hiya Tal…!" he said. He hadn't expected to see her so soon; he hadn't put a single thought into when or how he would break the news to her that he was no longer interested in calling himself her boyfriend; it was much too early for this sort of thing!

Talwyn smiled somewhat forcefully but sat down beside the Lombax nevertheless, and Ratchet had to fight the urge to inch away. He was not put off by her, no of course he wasn't. But he definitely did not feel comfortable with her so close.

The Markazian looked intently at him for a while as he tried to resume eating his oats in a natural manner.

"…No offense Ratch, but you look terrible." She said, her expression somewhere between concerned and uncharacteristically studious. "You all right, Fuzzy?"

"Oh… Well, don't worry Tal, just… didn't sleep too good, that's all."

He tried to look up at her as he spoke, but found it difficult. He resorted to taking another bite of breakfast as she continued to look thoughtfully at him.

"Don't s'ppose you know where Rivet is do you?" she said after a moment.

Ratchet's hand gave an involuntary shake as he brought his spoon back to his mouth and he instinctively looked up at her.

"Uh, n-no … She an' Kit got up before us; dunno where they are, she never said last night where or what they were gonna do tod-"

He faltered to a stop. Though her expression was still concerned, he definitely saw a muscle in her jaw twitch subtly as he mentioned his interaction with Rivet the previous night, and the storm of unease in his mind rose a further notch.

But it was only there for a fraction of a second. Talwyn's face was relaxed and her eyes looked caring as she took in his face – his green, emerald eyes – which were heavy with sleep, the slightly scruffy fur around his cheeks and jawline, his brown nose, the nostrils of which were unintentionally semi-flared in his apprehension, and his overall expression in full, which was somewhere between exhausted and fearful.

She gave him an unexpected hug and Ratchet barely suppressed a gasp. She was warm and held him unexpectedly gentle in her arms. His eyes darted to the door, praying Rivet would not come in and see them embracing, and wondering what on earth was going on. At one minute she appeared suspicious and cold toward him, but the next she was caring and kind, as he was used to her behaving.

She released him, the embrace lasting only a few seconds.

"I gotta get back with Locke and Derek; Skidd's been showing 'em hoverboard races on his digiphone and… well, they're hooked. They've been putting them up on our holoscreen where most of our plans go, and someone's gotta keep 'em focused. Take care Ratch, and please…. get some rest."

She stood up, and Ratchet saw, if it were possible, a hint of sadness upon her visage before she turned away.

He watched her leave, his curiosity muffling all else for a minute. Talwyn, displaying sadness? This was just as unusual as everything else about her had been lately. The Markazian never ever displayed this sort of emotion, with the one exception of the day she learned of Cronk's and Zephyr's deaths.

"(No. Absolutely not… Not today…)" he told himself silently.

No, Ratchet didn't love her anymore; if he was honest he hadn't for a long time, but he still… cared deeply for her as a friend, distant and cold she may be now, and he was still very much concerned for her feelings, which he now realized, amazed it took him this long to notice it, that this was partly responsible for that thunderous storm of anxiety swirling around in his head. She had been his girlfriend for seven years. How would she react when he told her it was over?

"Shall we return to the dorm then? I think Talwyn is right, you need som-" "No, really Clank, the last thing I need right now is more time to think." Clank raised, as it were, a theoretical eyebrow at the Lombax. "'More time to think'? What on earth are you talking about, Ratchet?"

"Err…" Ratchet said, his mind working fast. "There's been a lot of… stuff and... and things, goin' on… y'know! A lot to think about!"

Clank stared up at him.

"…You have been thinking? Fascinating… Even after all these years you continue to impress me with newfound talents."

Ratchet scowled at him for a moment. Clank chuckled as their eyes locked.

"I was only joking, Ratch. Very well, if you believe a walk will do you some good, then let us see what is on the third level; we have never been there before."

The pair continued through the long open hallways of the Phoenix, their reflections shimmering below them in the polished surface of the floor.

They found an elevator and took it to the third level, the lift humming softly, a gentle tune playing over the speakers, and Clank observing a poster on his side of their mode of transport, on which was an advertisement for a comic book convention, now dated seven months old.

The doors opened and both stood in the doorway for a second, stunned at what they saw.

The room was vast and open, and flooded with sunlight which shone upon a vast crowd of people and small stalls and tents that had been erected all along the walls. It looked as though many refugee merchants and civilians had turned the area into a sort of marketplace, reminding Ratchet strikingly of an old street market which he and Clank had once visited in Corson V during their "retirement".

The two walked through the crowd of chattering, shopping refugees mingled with store owners, discussing prices, attempting to haggle, or sharing news and stories. Small Fongoid children were chasing around a large water fountain in the middle of which was a collection of holographic palm trees in the center of the room.

A sign in the distance catches Ratchet's eye – a Kerwanian humanoid wearing a helmet that covered its eyes in orange lenses and wielding a Warmonger – undoubtedly a weapons shop, though not one that the Lombax had ever seen before. As his eyes lingered on it, an itch to go investigate rising steadily within him, he notices another sign right beside it in large, red letters –

'Do YOU like shooting things?! Then step right up, have we got the GUN for YOU. Straight from the Zurkon Armory is the latest in the line of DEADLY™ Precision-Shot™ Weapons™ – The Skull Crusher™! We are pleased to be the first to bring this weapon to the public, but buy quickly! There is only ONE in stock and it is being sold on a First-Come, First-Serve basis!

His ears perked up in interest at once and excitement flared inside him. He had heard Mrs. Zurkon was designing a new and improved model of the Head Hunter… He needed this weapon!

"Ratchet, where are you going?!" Clank called in surprise as Ratchet bolted off in the direction of the small weapons stall, his tail flying behind him and his ears flopping as he ran.

But as Ratchet approached, bumping into several people, a familiar and wonderfully pleasant voice fell on his overlarge ears, though at the moment it was raised in indignation.

"What kinda sick con job you trying to pull?! That's ridiculous!"

"My apologies, miss… But THIS is the VERY first release of this fine work of art, I simply can NOT make any exceptions, no not even to Alliance Rebels!"

Rivet came into view just in time for Ratchet to see her give the rather seedy looking stall owner who crudely resembled the Kerwanian on the poster a rude hand gesture. Ratchet couldn't help but snicker; he had never seen her do that before. She was undeniably rather cute when she was angry...

"Ratchet! Hah… Thank heavens you stopped… My legs are not as long as yours, you know!" the small bot said indignantly, then he spotted Rivet and Kit. "Oh! Good afternoon girls!" he called.

Rivet's ears perked up and Kit's head turned. Rivet's bushy tail gave a single sweep as she saw the two boys and she walked over to them, her look of frustration fading.

"So you two finally decided to get outta bed?" she asked, smirking, her bionic hand on her hip and Kit at her side.

"Yeah." Ratchet said stupidly, unable to resist looking into her twinkling blue sapphires.

Fortunately, Rivet didn't seem to notice, for she continued –

"Guess you hotshots saw the sign too huh?"

Ratchet blinked and forced himself back to earth.

"Wha… Oh! Yeah! I heard the Zurkons had put out a new rifle, but didn't think they'd be back in stock for months at least!"

Clank's look of mild confusion cleared instantly.

"Oh, of course, I should have known; nothing else would have made you run off like that." Clank said, half exasperated, half amused.

"It is fascinating is it not, Clank? So much firepower in a hand-held device… I am most interested in the finer details of how it works… and what they may create next!" Kit said, looking both excited and impressed.

Both Ratchet and Clank stared at her. Sometimes they both forgot that she was a former warbot, spending so much of her time lately in her usual, small form and aiding the three of them in hacking devices and keeping track of their surroundings during firefights.

"I… Well, it certainly is, I will admit." Clank conceded, and both Lombaxes grinned.

Rivet looked back at the advertisement, her amused expression fading.

"The most advanced rifle in existence…" she said.

"Four-leveled scope, semi-automatic action, movement tracker, humidity and distance indicators, high-velocity proton cartridges, recoil-absorption stock… the works." She sighed.

"…Being sold by some con artist prick taking advantage of the limited resources of course…" She added, her ears drooping and glaring back at the stall owner.

Rivet gave a sad sigh.

"Guess I'll try an' save up for one after the war… If I can find one... Ah well, c'mon Kit, they're open til noon then they close for lunch."

"Where are you two headed?" Clank asked.

"Oh, there's a shooting range on level four; Phantom told me about it this morning! How about it hotshot? Wanna come with? Bet I can hit more targets before they close for lunch than you!" said Rivet. Her ears had perked back up and she had a smirk growing on her face, the twinkle in her eyes returned, as well as that now-familiar flame of competition.

Ratchet's mind froze. She wanted to… spend time with him? The beast in his chest leapt and began to spin around excitedly at the thought, eager excitement filling his entire being. Yes, of COURSE he would go with her, he would love nothing more!

But right as he opened his mouth to accept her invitation, a sudden rapid influx of thoughts sprang to mind…

"(The Skull Crusher Ratchet… she can't afford it.)"

"(There's only one; there won't be any more for goodness knows how long… The 'most powerful rifle in existence'… you COULD get it you know)"

"(Wait, are you STUPID?! No way, Rivet wants it! She got there first! Would you do that to her?!)" "(…you're right… Sheesh, why did I even think that?!)"

"(Don't beat yourself up, it's natural when you've really wanted something like this for so long.)"

"(…But…)"

"('But' what?)"

"(What if- and hear me out- we buy it anyway?)"

"(What?!)"

"(No, shut up a sec and listen – we buy it anyway… for her!)"

"(…We 'buy it for her'…?)"

"(Yes! It's brilliant, don't you see?)"

"(…)"

"(For gods' sake, maybe you should get more sleep. Okay, listen – Rivet really REALLY wants that gun. You saw the look in her eyes; you heard how upset she was. Think of how happy it'll make her!)"

"(…OHHH, right! Yeah that's an awesome idea!... but… but what about going with her to the range…? I… I really wanna spend time with her… what if she gets mad, or worse, SAD that I don't go with her?)"

"(You know her Ratchet; it won't bother her for long, if it does at all. Besides, worse-case scenario, what's a few minutes of disappointment compared to hours of joy? Don't you want to see the look on her face when she sees that brand new Skull Crusher?)"

"(…Yeah… Yeah! All right! I'll do it!)"

"'s'matter hotshot? Lombax got your tongue?"

Ratchet shook himself mentally. His mouth was half open, his tongue still in the middle of etching the skeleton of his eager 'YES' then, remembering how to talk, took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't be upset at his answer.

"…Sorry Riv, I normally would, and I'd love to show you who the real best shot on this team is, but y'see… Clank an' I we… were just on our way to do some… ship work we talked about last night!"

"We… were?" Clank asked, looking at the Lombax in confusion.

"I mean, ah yes, of course! Yes, I remember now, how foolish of me to forget." The bot added at a nudge from Ratchet.

Rivet raised an eyebrow. Ratchet was smiling, his hands behind his back, standing up straight, his tail swishing from one side to the other, and trying his hardest not to look or act suspicious.

To his consternation, Ratchet distinctly saw her ears drop a fraction of an inch and a flicker of disappointment flash across her face. It was gone in a heartbeat though as she shrugged and gave a boastful smile.

"Chickened out huh? Oh well, your loss! You two have fun! And don't blow yourself up with any more nuclear power sources!" she added, smirking. "C'mon Kit; if it really is gonna take some time for Phantom to repair your weapons package, we'd best get you accustomed to shooting things the traditional way."

The female Lombax and the yellow bot turned and departed, heading for the elevators. Ratchet watched them go, his eyes on Rivet – her bushy tail swishing behind her, her hips swaying ever so slightly…

"'Ship work', Ratchet?"

The Lombax wrenched his eyes away from the female and turned to face his friend. Clank was giving him that look – the one he always gave Ratchet whenever he knew the Lombax was planning something.

"Y-yeah! Just a bit of… Okay, no, not exactly..."

"Then what, may I ask, are you planning? Do I want to know?"

"You'll see, c'mon."

Ratchet led Clank back to the weapons stall. The seedy-looking owner spotted the approaching Lombax and hitched up a smile.

"Ahhh, welcome, welcome honored guests! You, my fine furry friend, have the look of someone that is here to do more than merely window shop!"

"You're right. Show me that Skull Crusher."

Clank's head jerked toward Ratchet.

"Ratchet, you are not seriously about to buy that are you?! Was not Rivet wanting to-"

"Easy there pal, I'm not buying it for me!"

Clank looked greatly astonished. Ratchet not buying a gun for himself? Was this really his Lombax friend of the last ten years? Maybe Ratchet needed more sleep after all…

"Ohohohoo!" the merchant said, a smug grin on his face, "I see… Getting' a little somethin'-somethin' for your special lady, eyyy?"

"Wh-what?! Nononoooo, you got it all wrong, she's not my… We're just friends!" Ratchet said quickly, feeling the heat intensify in his face.

"Riiight, riiiight…" replied the merchant, still with that annoyingly smug smile, "Whatever you say, 'Stripes'. So ya wanna see it? Well take a gander-"

The merchant reached underneath the counter of his stall and lifted the Skull Crusher onto its surface. It truly was a thing of beauty - to any gun enthusiast. The weapon seemed to glisten in the false sunlight pouring in from above – its textured grip, the smooth, raritanium-reinforced barrel, the wide muzzle, the long scope in which were orange lenses that automatically switched between day time and night vision.

He felt a pang of longing as he gazed upon it, but fought back the desire fiercely as an image of Rivet's face, glowing with glee and admiration, sprang irresistibly into his mind's eye.

"How much?" he asked.

The merchant raised an eyebrow.

"Before I tell ya, y'gotta remember this is the first release of this beaut. Fresh offa the assembly line, and they ain't goin' to be seen in no shops for months – too much demand, see?"

"Look, I got the bolts - I can pay for it!" Ratchet said, a little impatiently. If he was quick, he might even get to join Rivet and Kit at the shooting range after all… It'd be the perfect surprise!

The mechant gave a half-amused smile at Ratchet's eagerness.

"A hundred and thirty-two thousand."

Ratchet felt as though an anvil had dropped into his stomach.

"A a-a-a-a hundred an-an-an-and thirty-two-"

"Thousand."

"B-b-b-bolts…?"

"Bolts."

Ratchet stared at him.

"Surely… You can give-"

"Nope, sorry Stripes. It's like I said to your not-girlfriend: can't make no exceptions."

Ratchet felt a prickle of frustration. Now he understood what Rivet meant. Was he real?! Sure it was new and demand was high, but not even a Warmonger was THIS expensive!

He stood there, frozen in his disbelief. Clank looked up at him, and seeing the look on his face gave him a nudge in the side.

"Ratchet, come. Let us go meet with Rivet and Kit. Forget the Skull Crusher for now, they will be more readily available and sold for more reasonable price in a few months."

But Ratchet didn't move. Didn't Clank understand?!... Oh wait, no of course he didn't. Ratchet had, obviously, not told him any of what had gone through his mind earlier, nor how much this meant to him. Rivet needed that Skull Crusher… He HAD to have it – needed to see it in Rivet's hands, MUST see her glowing face at the sight of it.

"I'll pay it!"

Clank, who had turned to walk away, snapped back around, his green fluorescent eyes wide with shock.

"Ratchet! What do you mean by this?! Neither of us have that much money!"

The merchant gave a sad shake of the head.

"Sorry 'Stripes'; no bolts, no deal."

As he placed the Skull Crusher back beneath the counter, Ratchet's mind raced, thinking of how he could scrounge the bolts he needed.

"Don't be silly Clank! 'Course we got the money, we just… gotta goooo… to… our reserves!" he blurted out.

The merchant paused and looked up at him.

"'Reserves'…?" The merchant was giving Ratchet a half amused, half incredulous grin.

"Yeah! We… don't trust banks! Not since Qwark forged a check in my name and pulled half my savings out!" Ratchet said, inventing wildly, "And so I…we buried it!"

Clank face-palmed and looked away. The merchant however was now definitely grinning at the Lombax's story.

"Look, just gimme a couple days to go… dig it all up again, and I'll buy that Skull Crusher – I'll pay every last bolt!"

The merchant rubbed his chin, looking thoughtfully, and humorously, at the flustered Lombax – at his wide eyes, his drooping ears, the grimace of a poorly-told lie on his face.

"I'm half tempted to say yes just for that story Stripes! But I dunno. Money's not exactly been loose an' flowin' lately…"

"I can not imagine why that would be." Clank muttered, his eyes fixing on the price for shatterbombs, which were four times more expensive than they were sold for at Mrs. Zurkon's.

"-Say some rich shmuck comes meanderin' by and takes a fancy to this lovely thing?" asked the Kerwanian, lifting the Skull Crusher up briefly once more. "-What do I say to him, ey? Look, I'm sorry but I can't do it."

The merchant turned his back on him. Ratchet was panicking now. He was thinking fast – he had to get it, and he had to find a way to convince this lousy con-artist to hold it some—

An idea struck him suddenly – a stupid, insane, and yet brilliant idea - one that Clank would definitely not like, but which would assure him that the Skull Crusher would be his…

"Double." Ratchet said firmly.

Clank's mechanical jaw dropped. Surely his audio receptors were malfunctioning! There was no way Ratchet had just offered to pa—

"'Double…?'"

The Kerwaninan turned to face the Lombax once more, and Ratchet glared into those orange lenses, a fierce determination burning inside of him. He would do whatever it took to get that weapon, and he could tell the merchant was interested in his insane offer.

"…You sure she ain't your girlfriend Stripes?" Ratchet blushed, but he didn't break eye contact. "Well? What is it? You gonna take the offer or what?"

"…This certainly changes things… All right then Stripes, you gotta deal. Go dig up this 'reserve' of yours, an' I'll hang onto this gun for ya… I ain't unreasonable, so I'll give ya a couple days… I dunno why, but-" the Kerwanian snickered. "-I gotta feelin' you're gonna need 'em!"

The Lombax and the Kerwanian shook hands, Clank holding his head - unable to believe what he was seeing and hearing.

"Ratchet what in Zoni's name has gotten into you?! Where are we going to get two hundred and sixty-four thousand bolts?!"

They were walking along the passage on level two of the Phoenix again, Clank's endless, incredulous questioning battering against Ratchet's large ears like a swarm of needle wasps.

"Could ya relax a minute pal? Don't worry so much, it'll work out! …Like always! Now c'mon,

that map back there said server room's this way."

"Do I want to know why we are visiting the server room?"

"D'ya really want an honest answer?"

Clank hesitated for a moment.

"…Upon reflection, no, that will not be necessary. I suppose we had best do whatever it is you are up to so I can try to talk you out of it only for you to say something to make me think everything will be easier than it will actually be... Like always."

"That's more like it! Just through here…"

The two walked through a set of sliding doors, which hissed as they opened and which closed behind them. They were in a room with desks and computers lining the opposite wall, at which sat a number of Terachnoids discussing amongst themselves or muttering to thin air as they worked. A few tables were interspersed throughout the room, some stacked with papers, others bearing strange instruments that hummed or beeped – most likely devices the Alliance used to trace signals or intercept messages. The room was chilly – undoubtedly to keep the large mainframes along the wall from which the heroes had just entered cool.

"Yo, Ratchet and Clank!"

Ratchet turned, his eyes alighting upon the two only non-Terachnoids in the room, and precisely who he wanted to see.

"Hey Phantom, Skidd!"

He walked forward; Phantom was at one of the tables, on which a number of small tools and a piece of Kit's sisterboard – still bearing signs of heavy damage, and which Phantom was still trying to mend. Skidd was reclining at one of the computer desks, his headphones on, and a terminal up on his computer monitor, although the Lombax also noticed what looked like a shrunken down window of what appeared to be Hoverboard races on some unrecognized planet in the corner.

Ratchet had thought it out. The two Aridians were much less likely to question him about what he was up to, and they were also less likely to let something slip in the event that somebody started questioning where one of the Phoenix's starfighters had gone.

"Quick favor –", Ratchet began, "-would you mind pulling up our current location? Galaxy, Sector, all that stuff."

"Roger that little dude."

Skidd spun back around in his chair and brought up a galactic map.

"Terradon Galaxy, Vectress Sector… Was that all…?" he asked, looking a tad confused.

"Not quite; There any exciting things to do around here?"

"Ratchet, what are you-", Clank began, but -

"You'll see, Clank!" interrupted Ratchet, looking intently at the Aridian.

Skid spent a few seconds masterfully typing in a few simple words and clicking some checkboxes, bringing up a list of planets and outposts near their coordinates.

"Small planet nearby – Achilles Minor. There's a old-fashioned colosseum there where the locals hosted traditional-style fights for honor, with cash prizes!"

Ratchet's ears perked up at once.

"Send us those coordinates Skidd, Clank an' I got some business there we need to take care of!"

Clank spun on the spot, looking at Ratchet, and a look of incredulity on his face yet again.

Curiosly, Skidd also seemed a bit hesitant.

"Uhhh, are you sure? Looks like the planet's-"

"We'll be all right, don't worry about that! Phantom, when ya get a chance we need starship B-62 cleared for takeoff. C'mon Clank, we got us some bolts to win!"

And he turned and left the room without another word, a light spring in his step. It was GENIUS! Probably one of his best ideas… Crash the competition on Achilles Minor, win the prize money, dash back to the merchant, buy that Skull Crusher, and present it to Rivet!

"Another death arena… When will we just go someplace that is warm and sunny, where the water is clear, and a breeze can pass through our servos…?"

"C'mon pal you make it sound like we never go anywhere tropical! We've been to Jowai Resort before, don't you remember?" Ratchet said, giving Clank a playful nudge as they made for the hangar.

"Once. We have been there once, Ratchet. And it was to stop the Blarg from sapping the planet's water supply."

"Oh, come on Clank! Where's your sense of excitement? Adventure?"

"*Sigh*… We went on one adventure after years of no action and now the adventures just do not seem to stop… Sometimes I wonder if it were foolish to say I preferred hero-work to retirement…"

"Okay, so yeah you're right, we have been on the move a lot these last five months… But hey, at least we're not bored!"

"That is true… I certainly cannot complain about that. But still, is a death arena what it takes to keep you from becoming bored nowadays, Ratch?"

"You know this isn't about the thrills, buddy! This is so we can get that Skull Crusher for Rivet!"

"All of this work so you can buy a gun from a crooked merchant…" Clank sighed, the hangar doors coming into sight. "I do not think I have ever seen you spend so much money in one place. I do not know what is more astonishing – the price that you offered, or the fact that you are spending it all on somebody else! What occasion warrants such frivolous, rock-star-level spending?"

"Oh! Ahh…"

Ratchet's heart skipped a beat. Really, he should have known Clank would expect an explanation. He couldn't tell Clank the real reason though. Clank had teased him on numerous occasions in the past for his relationship with Talwyn, and he knew it was because he, Ratchet, was 'supposed to be' the big, strong guy of their little team, and Clank seemed to think it amusing envisioning his stronger, snarky, daredevil friend having a place inside of him, small it may be in Clank's eyes,

that was caring and affectionate. How much more would Clank take the teasing and jokes if he found out that not only was Ratchet experiencing those 'affectionate' feelings for Rivet, but was utterly smitten with her? …Aaand there was also the fact that he was moving beyond Tal, whom Clank still believed Ratchet had feelings for.

As much as the Lombax didn't find Clank's jokes about his and Tal's supposed 'romance' amusing, he'd hate to break the news to him when he, Clank, was after all the one responsible for Tal being on this dangerous adventure in the first place. That would be an awkward ordeal…

"Well, y'see… it's… almooost Rivet's birthday!" Ratchet said, his mind working fast, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

Clank stared at him, giving Ratchet that familiar look he always gave whenever he was detecting oddities or flaws in logic... a gaze he frequently gave Qwark.

"Her… birthday…?"

"Yeah! It's next week actually! And I thought… You know, since we're all friends now, maybe it'd be nice if I… got her something!"

Why did his face have to turn red now? He could tell Clank was going to see clean through this lie as clearly as he could see someone's heat signature through walls. Clank cocked his head to one side.

"…Will Talwyn not become jealous if she finds out you spent two hundred and sixty-four thousand bolts on Rivet?"

Ratchet's stomach gave an unpleasant lurch. Clank's question opened up a via of possibilities the Lombax had not thought of. Talwyn would surely know of the Skull Crusher's existence aboard the Phoenix, being head of Command. Word would surely reach her that it was purchased… and if not that, then she'd eventually see Rivet using it in combat.

"(But…)", Ratchet thought, "(She doesn't have to know I bought it. Rivet coulda bought it herself!)"

"What Tal doesn't know won't kill me." He said bluntly.

Clank froze, staring at the Lombax as the hangar door opened in front of him, his mechanical, logical mind confused.

"That statement… does not compute. It is not Talwyn I am worried about killing you, it is the bloodthirsty arena fighters we are marching toward. What does Talwyn have to do with-"

"Clank, pal… You completely missed the—It's a figure of-… Actually, let's just forget this conversation for now and go win some bolts. Whaddaya say? That's straightforward and logical isn't it?"

Clank remained in place for a moment, but finally he blinked, shook his head, and sighed.

"Unfortunately… yes. Very well then, let us go and, as father once said, 'lay the smack down', Ratch."

Ratchet beamed at the small silver bot as Clank returned to his side. The B-62 starfighter humming to life as the two approached, Phantom clearly having just activated it remotely.

"That's more like it! Let's do this thing!"