A/N: This was my first time actually writing any semblance of ideas I had to page, a lot of which I came up while reading Firestorm and Dance of the Dog God.

Update: 7/23/23; I originally posted the first 3 chapters of Team-assignment up to the start of bell test as a one-shot, but I think I will continue this, just not with a regular update schedule, so I edited somewhat and split up the first 12k words into 3 chapters.

This is massively AU, with my own ideas of lore and TL heavily borrowed from canon, so probably better saying a canon-rewrite, but there are some lore things, I will utilize. I use the names 'Naru' and 'Sayuri' because I really dislike 'Naruko' and 'Satsuki' as names.

Naru Uzumaki laughed.

She was sitting atop the Yondaime's head on the hokage mountain, the sunrise just now erupting from the horizon, its rays alighting her blond hair, giving her a golden glow. Scattered around her were many painting and rock climbing supplies she had borrowed (stolen) from many ninja and civilian stores, usually ones that had refused service to her or had upcharged her. In front of her was a long list of requests she needed to fulfill and today was the last day she could.

What a beautiful day it is, she thinks. A perfect day to perform her greatest work yet.

She made a sign and 50 clones popped up. She briefly checked her list and then, she had all of them henge as different people on the list, such as those who she or another had a vendetta against, whether it be civilians, academy teachers, and even some of the ANBU she's managed to find the real faces of. She assigned the Academy-teacher clones to paint the hokage mountain, the civilian clones to cause havoc at specific sites, and her ANBU clones to set up orange and pink glitter bombs in the ANBU headquarters. Hopefully Anko would get home to see that one. She did say she'd try to make it back for her genin assignment.

Caught up in the excitement of vandalism, however, she had almost forgotten that she had to be at the academy for team assignments soon.

After pondering whether or not to go herself or send a clone, she decided to send 2 clones, one to attend class and one to check on the progress of an errand there, just in case. On their way, they passed by a garden, belonging to a lady who had always liked to throw rotten tomatoes at her. She picked up a few fresh ones, scanning for the biggest, to give as an offering to someone for helping her cover for her last prank.

The academy clone opened the door to the class and shouted out, "Guess who's one step closer to being hokage? Thas right, Naru motherfuckin' Uzumaki!" She took a running jump and landed onto the desk in the middle row of class.

Everyone groaned.

Naru smiled.

Sayuri Uchiha didn't groan.

She did yawn though, as she was shaken out of her delicate, sleeping-while-sitting-up stance.

All could be forgiven, she decided, because a fresh red tomato was held to her mouth for her to bite into.

It's not like she had a family to tell her to stay away from the local menace, and Itachi never turned her away, but instead, in some cases, covered for her.

And really, everyone knows not to bite the hand that feeds you, especially if they bother to learn and feed you your favorite food-

-but anyways, today was team assignment. She wondered if it would be any different to her current life, if she would get a team that would die like Itachi's, serving only to upgrade her Sharingan or find people she could trust and form bonds with, like the village would want. She wondered if she still had the ability to form bonds in this god-forsaken village.

She wondered that if she came to an early death, would the village celebrate it like Itachi's or mourn the loss of their founding clan?

"Not even an Uchiha grunt for my efforts?"

"Naru, what kind of people would you want on your team?"

"Hmm," the blonde made a show of tilting her head side to side with a finger held to her chin. She was sitting at the edge of the desk, rather than on the bench, swinging her legs back and forth. "Someone strong enough to be my rival and someone smart to be my friend. Maybe they could help me with my pra- erm traps! And then a super-awesome-strong sensei to make us strong." She grinned, seemingly genuinely excited about teams. Well, Naru had always been more sociable.

Speaking of teams and bonds, Sayuri was reminded of something. "Hn. You know as kunoichi, they expect us to be the heart of our teams. Do you think you'll get along enough with your team for that?"

The heart, the fool and the assassin team model, usually with two male ninja and a kunoichi to serve as the 'heart' to bind their bonds together as a team. However, once her brother had explained it to her, it was obvious this model played on the effect of hormonal imbalances between the child soldiers and assumes that the kunoichi would be the emotionally intelligent and well adjusted one to draw the other 2 members to her. Not that it would change anything for her; just another reason to not care too much about team assignments.

"Oh, that thing. Ummm, I think I'd make a good heart, since there's nothing in here to break, haha," said so cheerily, yet her face was carefully blank, a worried look in her eyes.

Of course, even if they weren't the most emotionally intelligent, it was assumed that a kunoichi could withstand the most conflict, without breaking. After all, there wasn't many, if any, rogue, kunoichi in all the history of the leaf. Except for one, she noted, but the higher-ups tried to keep quiet about her, considering her S rank status. Most kunoichi weren't expected to even make it past Chuunin, career-wise.

"Hn, whatever."

More of their fellow graduates started filtering into the classroom. Most of them glanced at her still, but had long since given up trying to get to her with greetings. For all it was a rare sight to see an Uchiha willingly make conversation, let alone to the village outcast, nonexistent was the sight of her returning even a glance at the rest of them. It's not like it was a detriment to her pride to simply accept goodwill and attention, but she didn't want to give off the impression that she was willing or able to build a bond with them. At least Naru understood that. Her usual attitude of take and take, but never give, her brother had approved of. However, some of the others thought her accepting their gifts meant she was returning friendship. Hopefully her team would understand, or at least be smart enough to not take it personally that she couldn't reciprocate any of their kindness towards them. One tended to lose their desire for such fickle relationships after watching their family implode in real time.

She was shaken out of her musings as she heard more bickering and shrill squeals. Ah, Ino and Sakura must've arrived, she thinks.

"Ha, take that billboard-brow. Hey since, I've beaten you, I guess that makes me the better ninja in this rivalry," As far as Sayuri knew, she'd thought Ino was purposefully provoking Sakura for her attention.

"Ah well, it wouldn't be a rivalry if you didn't give me a challenge. But let's not get it twisted, who knows what will happen once we get our teams." Sakura chirped playfully, engaging Ino, but still in full control. It's funny really. Back when she started the academy, before, when her mom had encouraged her to make friends, Sayuri used to watch their friendship, as a model for what that would entail. They were once as thick as thieves, so she wondered what could've caused the two girls to fall out and challenge each other with thinly veiled insults.

"Hmph, whatever," with a signature hair flip, Ino, undeterred, tried to pile it on. "I already know I'm stuck with losers, but at least it can't be worse. They'll probably stick you with other civis." she shrugged.

Sakura wasn't really bothered though, "Heh, well I don't really mind. It would be nice to be teamed with other kunoichi though," she lamented.

And then Ino with her complete lack of Yamanaka subtlety. "Oh my god, imagine if you got on a team with Naruko-"

Sayuri lamented the loss of a perfectly good tomato that had splattered against Ino. But she wasn't too mad, as the resulting pink hues were pretty. And, oh, it kinda reminded her of how Izumi's head looked when-

"NARUKO, I'LL FUCKING GET YOU."

-never mind, she was annoyed. Her peace and quiet was ruined.

"Huh, that's crazy, why would I have tomatoes, I hate veggies," the blonde stared at her outstretched hand like it betrayed her. Which was rather odd since Naru wasn't the type to openly attack or even get into arguments really.

"Why you- Not like a dobe like you would understand the time and effort it takes to be presentable. And stay away from Sayu-chan, while you're at it; no need to rub your reputation onto her."

And not like Ino would understand what it takes to be a ninja. The privilege of clan kids these days honestly astounded her, but unlike them, her family (Itachi) taught her manners (the classic Uchiha stoicism) and how to keep her mouth shut.

The blonde without complimentary red streaks hummed and then said, "nah I don't think I will," and moved back onto her bench, right next to her. "And yeah, I guess I wouldn't. Not like a dumb kunoichi like me would ever understand," she said loudly, lips twitching into a wry smile that didn't reach her eyes, but something dark flashed through her eyes.

Ino swung. She missed.

And then-

"Uzumaki!" Iruka burst through the door. "What is the meaning of this?"

"um, what do you mean, sensei?" she tilted her head and asked coyly.

"The entire teacher's lounge is covered in glitter. Who else could that be, but you?"

"But c'mon senseeeeei, I was here for the last thirty minutes at least, I haven't been at the academy in like a week, and like, classes have still been running, soooo it couldn't be me. Maybe one of your students has it out for you. Konohamaru might actually start to gimme a run for my money." She cocked her head back and let out a sardonic laugh, eyes light and teasing.

"SENSEI! Naruko's lying, I've been here since dawn and she just got here, even Sayu-chan can confirm." Ino smiled a sweet, sugary smile. She must really be pissed off about the tomato, Sayuri thought amused.

She hadn't planned on getting involved, but Ino just had to bring her into it. But Naruto's gaze was now directed straight back at Ino, her presence suffocating, her chakra leaking and Sayuri was drowningdrowningdrowning-

"Actually sensei, Ino's been with me this whole morning, and we just got here," Sakura, armed with her heavily saccharine voice that the academy teachers couldn't help but dote on, helpfully supplied.

-Sayuri let out a sigh, sat back and licked tomato off her fingers nonchalantly. Ino sat down in the row behind her with 2 other clan heirs.

"Tch."

"Yosh!"

"Hn."

The bell rang.

Sakura sat down beside Naru and smiled at her. Sayuri checked her eyes: glassy and dead. She now understood how Sakura disengaged Ino so effectively. She moved to be more alert, fingers interlocked against her forehead. Those eyes indicated that a more dangerous foe had appeared.

"I'm really proud of all of you, for everything you guys have been through. However, it only gets worse from here…" Iruka started off.

Yeah, now Konoha will chain us as slaves with these so-called bonds, and hollow out our insides, just like they did to…

"…And with that I will now announce the teams."

Now for the moment of reckoning.

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruko, Uchiha Sayuri, Haruno Sakura."

Oho, three kunoichi on a team. Sayuri was perplexed.

Sakura kept her eyes down, face unreadable, so it looked like Naru would ask instead. The blonde stood up.

"Hey, sensei, why does a prodigy kunoichi like me have to be put on a team with these bottom feeders?" She huffed out, making a whole show of growling and waving her hands about, looking annoyed. Sayuri would count that slight against the blonde, but she still tasted the tomato from earlier. "Especially two other girls instead of shinobi, who could support me." And pffft, as if she cared about such things, while looking up to two of the craziest kunoichi the Hidden Leaf had ever produced. She sounded irate, but her eyes were taking in all the attention the class had on her.

Iruka snorted. "You shouldn't throw around a word you don't understand, which is prodigious, not prodigy. And, for your information, Sayuri and Sakura were the #1 and #2 ninja of the year, respectively. You were last among the whole class. That being said, the hokage hand picked these teams." Of course he did. The hokage's idea was probably to throw the flight risks together, her and Naru, and hope they placated each other and threw in Sakura because surely she could handle it, with everything she'd been through. And if not, well, nothing of value was lost with the civilian born. She sighed.

It was rather easy to read into some things, really, once Itachi revealed many truths to her.

"Fuckin' last but, I still graduated," Naru slammed back down in her seat. "Guess, hokage's not far off for me, even jiji sees it!" she scoffed, but Iruka ignored her and kept going.

Not like Sayuri could blame Iruka for his dismissive coldness towards Naru because that's how many chose to deal with someone of her character, and so had she, once upon a time. However Sayuri would blame Iruka for what she heard him say about Itachi the other day.

Iruka announced that they were to wait for their teachers. But, did Sayuri really feel like doing that?

Her teammates surely didn't. "I'll give him five minutes," quipped Sakura after Ino's team got picked up. She still had the dead eyes; still not safe to engage, Sayuri decided. But Sakura turned towards Sayuri and smiled something dangerous. "Would you like to go shopping together, Sayu-chan, for ninja supplies?" It was hard to see her as someone dangerous, when she acted so friendly. But Sayuri knew, underneath that sweet and calm exterior, hid a foe capable of harming others without a second thought. And she had, granted the girl had deserved it.

"She doesn't need any, 'cuz she's got the entire Uchiha repository to pick weapons and stuff from," the blond saved her from answering, while lost in her musings. Meanwhile, Naru was fiddling with a rope trip she had set up at the door.

"Ah, I suppose you would. Oh and Naru, how exactly are we supposed to leave?"

"Oh uh, I don't know, use the windows? Anyways, I'm out, have fun!" she burst into a cloud of smoke.

"Well, it would not do to meet sensei like this," Sakura wiped imaginary dust from her blouse. "So, I will simply come back another time." Sayuri would be astounded by both Sakura's and Naru's flippant attitudes, but being well familiar with Naru's antics and not bothering to decipher Other Sakura's antics, she found herself following in their lead.

Sakura grabbed Naruto's dropped bag, which had good quality rope at least, (probably stolen though) and she opened the window.

Sayuri cursed the blonde for forcing her to help Sakura to escape from the academy.

Once they dropped down outside, they were greeted by the site of the hokage mountain covered in tons of graffiti paint. It was rather creative; the Shodai had warping lines that looked like tree branches coming out of his face, the Nidaime red eyes, with bloody tears, the Sandaime had a nosebleed and blush, and the Yondaime had on a complete face of Kabuki makeup.

"It's a shame, really, for such skills to be overlooked," Sakura said serenely.

"Hn."

Sayuri wasn't sure why she was left alone with Sakura, but this was a different Sakura, a Sakura she didn't know how to deal with. Now that they were on a team, however, she would need to.

She rushed away towards her apartment, contemplating why she didn't follow her brother into the Naka river.

A/N: For each chapter title, I'm using a song name. So for this chapter, the song is Young Girl A by Siinamota/PowaPowaP.

7/23/23: edited narration for better flow and better context.