Somehow it wasn't yet midnight when everyone came together in the Kamados' front room. Mitsuri and Shinobu-sensei had left the police station by the time Aoi returned with the girls. After speaking with the constable, Shinobu-sensei had reported back to the hospital, though her shift had ended already, to apologize for and further explain her abrupt early departure. She joined the others at Tanjiro's and Nezuko's house a short while after Aoi came in, saw that the little girls were safe and sound, and embraced them, though they were still a little sore from the crushing hugs a tearful Mitsuri had given them.
All of the children, excluding Rokuta, who was fast asleep in Takeo's arms, were glad of an excuse to sit up long after their bedtime. Nezuko made tea for everyone and plates of hot food for those who had not eaten, but Aoi, Sumi, Kiyo and Naho were far too tired to be very hungry. As all of the others conversed in soft tones or, in the case of Tanjiro's young siblings, excited whispers, the little girls blinked and rubbed their drowsy eyes in an effort to keep them open. Kiyo was curled up in Zenitsu's lap, Naho in Kanao's, and Sumi, who was losing her battle with sleep, sat propped up against Aoi's side, as delicate and almost as still as a little doll, with her caretaker's arm wrapped around her.
Shinobu-sensei, seated beside Kanao, reached down to stroke Naho's head. "Poor dears. Did you think Aoi didn't like you anymore because she scolded you?"
"No, ma'am," Naho, now ashamed of the trouble she'd caused everyone, whispered.
"To tell you the truth, if a day went by when Aoi didn't scold someone, I'd have to check her into the infirmary and stuff her with medicine."
The image of Aoi being forced to take medicine made all of the children giggle. Even Aoi had to suppress the beginnings of a smile.
"Shinobu-sensei's right," Zenitsu told the girls. "I had to come into the hospital for a stomach problem one time. Aoi-san spent the whole visit getting angry at me!"
"I wouldn't have if you'd cooperated with me when it came to your oral medication and your injections, Zenitsu-san," Aoi reminded him.
"I would've cooperated if that medicine had tasted a little better and those needles hadn't been so big. I thought I was going to die!" Zenitsu stroked the backs of Kiyo's hands. "Aoi-san told me if I wouldn't be quiet and work with her, she'd just put me out on the streets. Still, I know she still likes me. She just got frustrated because she wanted me to let her do her job."
"Ami got mad at me when I came in with a broken leg," Inosuke pitched in. "She wouldn't let me help the other people in there, threatened to tie me to the bed because I didn't want to lie around all day, and kept telling me I was breaking hospital rules. But I didn't mind her getting mad at me; I sort of liked the challenge."
"That makes one of us," Aoi retorted. "If you ever come into the hospital as a patient again, Inosuke-san, I'll find another job!"
She didn't speak very sharply, though. She could endure some teasing from her friends. It was only because they had stayed by her side all night that her girls were safe at home again.
Amid laughter from everyone, Kanao admitted, "Aoi even gets angry at me sometimes. The week before last, I agreed to take laundry duty from her on Wednesday so that she'd get extra time in the workroom. When Wednesday came, I forgot about the laundry like an idiot. I know at least you three would never forget if you promised to help Aoi."
"Of course," Shinobu-sensei felt the need to add on, "our Aoi isn't perfect, either. Fairly close, maybe, but she's only human, and once in a while she gets in trouble herself."
"Sensei!" Aoi didn't mind being teased a little, but there was such a thing as going overboard.
"What is it, dear? Are you saying you don't have slipups of your own sometimes? To be fair, it is hard to believe the responsible Aoi we know was the girl who put pain reliever in all of the tea without asking one time when she was on cooking duty."
Now the little girls were wide awake, and their eyes were all on Aoi. Kanao covered her mouth, but her eyes laughed from behind her hand. Aoi's face burst into flame. I pulled that awful stunt more than half a decade ago. Why does Shinobu-sensei still remember that?
"But what was wrong with it, Shinobu-sensei?" Kiyo asked. "Putting pain medicine in the tea? Wouldn't it make everyone feel better?"
Aoi, unwilling to allow Shinobu-sensei the mischievous pleasure of going on about naughty nine-year-old Aoi, stepped in to answer. "Pain medicine is good to take when a patient actually needs it, but too much of anything can be a bad thing. People have suffered from overdosing on pain medication. Besides, it's wrong to give a patient medicine without letting him know he's taking it. That's why a medical assistant should never do anything that her doctor didn't tell her to do. I wanted to help, so I gave medicine to everyone staying at the hospital, thinking that it couldn't do any harm. But I didn't ask for Shinobu-sensei's permission or know enough to discriminate between people who had already had enough pain medicine and those who needed it." The memory of what she'd done made her color more deeply, but she went on for the sake of being a responsible adoptive big sister. "When Shinobu-sensei found out about my actions, she punished me and suspended me as an assistant."
"How long were you suspended?" Sumi, as awed by the punishment Aoi had received as by her childhood naughtiness, wanted to know.
"Aoi was suspended for two weeks," Shinobu-sensei informed the little ones. "She was afraid I wouldn't reinstate her at all. I let her worry a little over those two weeks. After all, a big nine-year-old girl should have known better than to be so meddlesome. But in the end, no one had been hurt, and Aoi learned her lesson and became an excellent assistant."
The eyes of the girls turned back to Aoi. The look in those eyes said, We want to be amazing assistants one day, too.
Well, they would have to wait at least a day or two to find out whether they would be allowed another chance. It wasn't because Aoi wanted to let them worry. She was most inclined to give them that second chance, but only because they wanted it so badly. Beyond that, she still wasn't really sure how she felt about it. Her stunt with the pain reliever had been terrible, and she'd been the girls' age and two years over when she'd pulled it. But ultimately, as Shinobu-sensei had said, no one had been harmed. In the first place, Aoi's doses hadn't been heavy enough to seriously affect any of the patients. Sumi had avoided burning herself to death this afternoon through pure luck, and all three girls had put themselves in danger by running off as they had. Before she could make a final decision, Aoi would need at least one good night of peaceful sleep.
"We'd better go now." She gently moved Sumi off of her shoulder and took her hand, coaxing her to her feet as she got up herself. "We've kept you all up far too late. Kiyo-chan, Sumi-chan, Naho-chan, say good night to everyone."
The girls flitted through the room like butterflies, hugging everyone. Never before had Aoi been as happy to be home as she was when she herded her charges into the house. The start of her shift was only six hours away, and she wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed.
The girls were heavy-eyed and none too eager to move, either, but Aoi forced herself to prepare baths and to wash up, then managed to get the girls into the tub and make them go through the motions of cleaning themselves. She didn't bother with hair-brushing tonight. She would just have to rush to be ready before work, and the girls could take care of their hair whenever they woke up. She placed their decorated hair-ties on their nightstand for them to find in the morning.
The girls, with eyes not even half-open and walking like little zombies, made their way into their room. Aoi helped them into their bed and tucked the blankets in around them. "You three should just be glad you don't have to get up in the morning after all the trouble you caused."
Of course, the girls didn't hear her chiding - they had fallen asleep as soon as their heads had touched the pillow. As always, Aoi made sure that the blankets were properly tucked in. Before blowing the lamp out, she reached out to stroke each little face.
Dear God, thank you for giving me a second chance. Shinobu-sensei, Mitsuri-san, Tanjiro-san, Nezuko-chan, Kanao and Shigeru-kun. . .all of you. . .thank you for everything you did. . .for being there for me.
Sumi, Naho and Kiyo spent the next day at the Kamados' house. Aoi spent it fighting to keep her eyes open at work. She brought food home from the hospital for supper and announced a very early bedtime. The girls protested a tiny bit, but as usual, they were obedient, and they seemed to need the extra rest nearly as much as Aoi did, for it didn't take very long for them to fall asleep. By the evening that followed, Aoi had slept off the exhaustion of the "leaving home" night and had come to a decision with regard to the little ones and the hospital. She waited until after supper, when they were still sitting together in the front room, to broach the topic.
"Girls, I was able to think about whether to allow you to help me again."
The girls all drew sharp breaths and seemed to forget to exhale. With their hands folded in their laps, they gave Aoi their full attention.
"I've decided to give you a second chance." As faces brightened and happy gasps went all around, Aoi continued. "It's not because you don't deserve to be punished - you do, and you will be. But I'm not going to punish you by not letting you learn to do something that's important to you, at least not right now."
"Yes, ma'am," came the meek reply from Kiyo and Naho.
"I was the one who spilled the hot water, Aoi-neechan," Sumi ventured to remind her guardian. "Kiyo-chan and Naho-chan didn't touch it. Besides, we tried to punish ourselves already by going away."
"I understand that. But this isn't only about the kettle. It's about your running away. No matter how upset you were, you shouldn't have tried to punish yourselves, least of all by leaving home on your own. The scolding I gave you hurt your feelings, but by running off, you put your safety at risk. Medical assistants-in-training can't afford to be so reckless. I'm giving you another chance because I trust that if I can make you understand how serious your actions were - and if I try my best to be more patient with you three from now on - you won't frighten me and our friends by making anymore mistakes like the ones you made the other day. I don't expect you three to disappoint me, but if you pull anymore dangerous stunts, I'll have to put you on home probation until I think you're old enough to handle the responsibility of working in the hospital. For now, I'm not going to suspend you, but I will spank you."
Every girl flinched at the mention of physical chastisement. They all kept quiet, though.
"Kiyo-chan, Naho-chan, you're going to be spanked with my hand. Sumi-chan, for meddling with the hot water on top of running away, you're going to be punished with my belt."
The little girls gasped. Aoi watched as their eyes grew huge. Sumi, who looked as though she were already about to cry now, huddled down to hide her face in her hands.
Aoi managed to maintain eye contact with them and keep her voice steady even though she was afraid that if she looked at them any longer, she would cry herself. "If you had gone home from the hospital and waited for me there like I asked you to, you wouldn't be getting punished now, but by not doing that, you showed me you didn't learn anything from being scolded. I would never seriously hurt any of you. I love you three, and I want you home with me. It's your behavior that I don't like. I'm going to give you thirteen with the belt, Sumi-chan, six for each of the bad things you did and one more to make sure the lesson sticks. Kiyo-chan and Naho-chan, you're each getting twenty smacks with my hand. I won't spank any of you hard enough to mark your skin. It will just leave a stinging that will be gone by this time tomorrow."
Sumi removed her face from her hands. She made herself answer, though her lips quivered as she spoke, "Okay, Aoi-neechan." The others conceded with tiny nods. Aoi guessed that they had been spanked once or twice in the past - the idea of being smacked wasn't a great shock to them. Most likely they had never been whipped or even threatened with a belt before, though. Aoi had never been punished with a belt, either. In her lifetime, she had been spanked with hands, wooden and bamboo cooking utensils, house-slippers, and a small, thin wooden slat that had fallen off a damaged door, the last of which had, for some reason, always seemed more dreadful than all of the others.
At least her work uniform belt was not made of wood or any other wickedly-hard material. She had considered using the thick-backed wooden hairbrush, but had immediately discarded the idea - it would be too cruel to strike any of them with that thing for a first offense. She did not want Sumi's spanking to hurt more than the others' so much as she wanted them all to think she was getting the most painful punishment.
"Good girls. Now please go in your room and wait for me while I clean up in here. When I'm finished, I'll call you each into my room for your turn."
The little girls got up to obey, wrapping their arms around eachother for comfort and support, but they moved as though their legs were made of stone. So that she wouldn't have to watch them, Aoi bowed her head and began gathering the eating mats to take them to the front door and shake the crumbs out on the lawn. The girls went shuffling into their bedroom, and Aoi heard the door creaking before it stopped without shutting, as if one of the girls had been deliberating whether to close it and had decided it would be safest to leave it open a gap. They wanted to hear when Aoi was headed for the back. Aoi knew because she remembered well the times when she had waited in her room, listening out, with her stomach in knots, for the heavy sound of footsteps.
She was in no hurry to finish sweeping the front room and tidying the kitchen. She knew that the waiting had to be miserable for the girls and felt mean for stalling, but she dreaded the task she'd assigned herself. When she figured she could put it off no longer, she went to her room, at last, passing the girls' open door on the way. From the hanging rod in her closet, she took the grey leather belt that she wore with her work uniform every day. She stood there and regarded it for a few moments. It wasn't especially long or very broad, but the knowledge that it would be used to redden soft child's skin made it feel heavy and terrible in her hands. At length, she took the awful instrument over to the bed and laid it at the foot, where it could wait until it was needed. She stepped into the hallway and gave the girls' door a gentle push to open it further.
The little ones sat side-by-side on the bed, pressed close together, hands intertwined. They had been staring in the direction of the door before Aoi had entered, she could tell. She broke the silence.
"Naho-chan, come with me, please." Her voice was quiet, but as firm as she could make it.
Sumi's and Kiyo's grips on their friend's hands tightened. The girls sat there, unmoving, until Aoi began to feel that Naho would not come without being forced. Eventually, though, Naho tugged herself free of the handholds. With her head bowed, she came over to Aoi step by tiny step.
Aoi laid a hand upon her shoulder, turned her around, and led her across the hall into her bedroom. There she seated herself on her bed. Naho came to stand before her, lifting her enormous green eyes at last to fasten them to Aoi's face.
Aoi remembered the little girl's bashful words three nights ago. You take such good care of us, Aoi-san. We think of you as our big sister.
I still don't know why they want me of all people for a big sister, and after tonight, I doubt they will anymore. I scolded them, I made them run away from home, and now I'm about to spank them. She steeled herself - a thing she was not accustomed to needing to do. But I have to discipline them because I'm their big sister, the one who's looking after them, even if it does make them stop liking me.
"Naho-chan, explain to me why you're going to be punished, please."
Naho swallowed a few times before she could speak. "It's because I left home. I'm sorry, Aoi-neechan."
She was so tiny and so sorrowful that Aoi's heart burst with the desire to sweep her up and hug her half to death in a completely uncharacteristic way. She forced that urge down and hoped that it didn't show on her face. The girls had all had enough hugs to last them a year the evening before yesterday, and they would have many more when their punishments were over - if they would accept them.
"Why was it wrong of you to leave home, Naho-chan?"
"I. . .could have gotten hurt."
"And why else was it wrong?"
Naho's gaze drifted to the floor. "I made everyone worry and come looking for me."
Aoi took the little chin between her fingers and tilted it up, guiding Naho's gaze to meet hers. "And what were the other reasons it was wrong, Naho-chan?"
"You told me to go home, and I disobeyed you. Medical assistants mustn't do reckless things. And. . . .children shouldn't punish themselves." The little voice quavered and cracked here.
Naho really had listened carefully to everything she had said. Again, Aoi had to fight to keep her own voice clear and steady. "Good girl. Let's get this over with."
Taking Naho by the arm, she helped her up onto the bed and guided her until she lay facedown across her lap. She placed a hand on her back, to help her more than to restrain her. Then, raising her right hand, she brought it down with a resounding CLAP on the upturned bottom.
Naho jumped and let out a a squeaking cry. The spank had not been forceful enough to sting, but not nearly as hard as it had been noisy. Aoi dished out two more smacks, pausing for a second or two after each one to make it meaningful.
Naho was a brave little girl, braver than Aoi ever had been at her age. She couldn't hide her distress, but she only kicked twice in response to the spanks, gasping to try and stifle her whimpering cries, before digging into the bed with her toes to keep herself still. Aoi pushed on with the spanking, keeping her pace slow and delivering the smacks with careful firmness.
"Whether or not you work at the hospital, whether I'm upset at you or not, this is your home, and it will be for as long as you want it to be. I love you, Naho-chan, and I would never want to be rid of you. You should know better than to run away from home. It was an incredibly naughty thing to do. There are evil people out in the world who take pleasure in hurting children. You could have been kidnapped, beaten or killed. I was sick with worry over you!"
Naho could keep quiet while in pain, at least for a time. When she was scolded, however, she broke and began to sob without restraint. Aoi thought she could faintly hear Sumi and Kiyo, across the hall from them, sniffling, too. She was glad that she had chosen to summon them one by one into her room for their punishments - she knew that the little girls preferred to stick together, but had she tried to punish them in front of eachother, she might not have been capable of going through with any of it.
"Children have no business running through the woods and across railroad tracks by themselves. Our friends all came out and spent four hours searching for you, and it was only through luck that we found you the other night." Aoi moved back to sting the undercurve of the bottom, guessing that it might hurt more to be spanked there. As she'd expected, Naho shrieked at these smacks. "Hanako-chan cried, she was so worried about you three. Kanroji-san and Shinobu-san went to the police."
Naho managed out between sobs, "I'm sorry, Aoi-neechan!"
By keeping her mind on the girls' crimes and all the distress they had caused, Aoi was able to remain dry-eyed. If she was to get this done - and she needed to, for their benefit - the last thing she could afford to do was fail to be strong in front of them. Though she wanted to hurry through the last few swats, which she delivered to the center of the bottom, sparing the sitspots now, she took her time with them to make Naho think about every bit of this ordeal. "Will you promise me you'll never run away like that or cause so much trouble again?"
"Yes, ma'am," came the shaky reply from below. "I promise."
The very last spank landed, and one out of three terrible deeds was out of the way. Aoi helped Naho to sit up. She ached to hug the little girl, but she figured that she would want to be with her friends as soon as she was released. She wouldn't deny them a few minutes alone together to comfort eachother. When all of the punishments were over and everyone had had a few moments to calm down, Naho might be open to a hug and an apology.
Once she was sitting upright, however, Naho caught Aoi off-guard by throwing herself onto her. She wrapped her arms around her and buried her face into her chest, where she continued to let her tears out. Immediately Aoi returned the tight embrace. As she rubbed the quivering back, words came pouring out of her, all truthful and earnest, if clumsily-offered.
"I'm sorry. I know it didn't feel good, but you're all finished, Naho-chan. I love you. We all love you. It's normal to worry that you're a burden; even I feel that way sometimes, but if you just go missing, no one knows how you feel or what's happened to you. Even though I might seem mean, if you'd talked to me that evening, I promise I would have listened. I thought you'd all been taken away or killed, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I love you, Naho-chan. Everything's all right now."
When she could speak, Naho sniffled out, "I - I love you. . .Aoi-neechan." Her words were half-muffled by the front of Aoi's apron.
Even after all of this, the little one still accepted Aoi not only as her guardian, but as her big sister. The notion of being a big sister had ceased to feel strange to Aoi. More than she'd realized before, she wanted to be more than just their guardian, "Aoi-san," in their eyes. She didn't believe she could ever learn to be as warm and sweet as Nezuko was towards her siblings and all other children or nearly as cheerful and eager to pet and spoil as Mitsuri was. She couldn't always be gentle with children the way Zenitsu was, be as patient and wise as Tanjiro was, or be a playful roughhouser like Inosuke.
But she had loved the night before the hospital trouble, when she had sat with the girls as they'd all brushed their hair, had given them the pretty hair-ties and watched their faces light up, had talked to them and listened to them chattering and giggling, had heard Sumi say, "Can we call you Aoi-neechan?" and been filled with a warmth that she'd tried to hide. She wanted to cuddle them sometimes and tell them stories, even embarrassing ones like the pain reliever story. She wanted to be the one who helped them to pursue their dreams, even if she worried about them in the process, because that was what big sisters were meant to do.
Naho, still pressed close to Aoi, was quiet now, but Aoi went on shushing her, whispering all of those other silly things that people usually murmured to soothe unhappy little hearts. All the while she traced warm pathways up and down Naho's back with her hand. She paused only to dab the tears from the girl's eyes and the wetness from her cheeks with the corner of her apron, though she knew that she would be crying again before very long out of sympathy for her friends.
After a long while, Naho spoke. "I was so scared, Aoi-neechan. When the hot water almost spilled on Sumi-chan. . .I felt so scared and so sick."
Aoi began to comb the soft dark hair with her fingertips. "I know." If that accident had frightened her, how much worse must it have been for two helpless seven-year-old girls to witness - for Sumi to experience? "It scared me, too, so badly, Naho-chan. But if it's so easy for children to be hurt in the kitchen if they aren't careful, it's even easier for them to run into danger when living on their own. I'm thankful nothing happened to any of you."
"Yes, ma'am," Naho whispered. "We were scared out there in the woods by ourselves, too. It wasn't like when we left the orphanage to be on our own. Back then we were happy to run away. But we love living with you. We got used to you taking good care of us. And even though we tried to be brave again when we left. . .deep down, I kept hoping you would come for us."
"Of course I came for you, silly girl." Aoi stroked the tear-dampened cheek with her thumb. "If you go missing, I'll always come for you, and so will Kanao, Nezuko-chan and all of our friends. But I don't expect ever to have to search for you again. It was only natural you were scared to be alone out in that forest, especially when it got dark. I felt unsettled myself, wandering around out there at night."
"You did?" Naho drew back to look into her face. "I'm sorry, Aoi-neechan. I didn't know older people could be afraid of the dark, too - aside from Zenitsu-san."
Anyone would have been uneasy about walking through the bleak area around that railroad track with no light except that of the moon, Aoi thought, and at night, little old temples sitting in the middle of nowhere made her think of graveyards and restless souls. Her imagination had run wild as she had searched for the girls, and neither the darkness nor the eerie spots through which she had passed had been of any help in that regard. She chose not to go into detail about any of that, though. She did not want to deepen Naho's feelings of guilt or make the conversation about how frightened she had been instead of focusing on Naho's feelings.
After a moment's hesitation, Naho added, with some shyness, "But nothing scared me that much on the way home because we had you, Kanao-san, Tanjiro-san and Inosuke-san with us."
Aoi wanted to tell the little girl that she had felt the same way - neither the railroad track, the big grassy field nor even the ugly little temple had unnerved her so much once she'd had her little ones with her again, safe and sound. But she refrained. "In any case, be a good girl and stay at home, and you won't have to be afraid of anything."
"Yes, ma'am; I always will."
They were both quiet for a few moments. Though she had two more punishments to administer, Aoi did not want to rush Naho out of her arms. She didn't hear anymore sniffling from the other room. Sumi and Kiyo must have sensed that Naho was all right now, that she was being held and comforted.
At length, Naho spoke up timidly. "Is. . .is Kiyo-chan next, or is Sumi-chan?"
"Kiyo-chan's next. Sumi-chan will go last."
"I thought so." Naho's gaze drifted downward. "I. . .I don't want to keep them waiting. Do you want me to get Kiyo-chan?"
"You're a good girl, Naho-chan, but I won't make you do that. I'll go and get her."
Aoi helped Naho off of her lap and to her feet. They went together to the doorway of her bedroom. They found that Sumi and Kiyo had moved from the bed to sit to the left of the door, presumably so that they could better hear the proceedings in Aoi's room. No sooner did Naho set foot into the room than both of her friends scrambled up to hug her. As Aoi had suspected, they had been crying - their cheeks were flushed and their eyes pink-rimmed.
Aoi gave them a few moments to reassure themselves that Naho was all in one piece. Then she moved in to begin the next task. "I'm ready for you now, Kiyo-chan. Come with me, please."
"Yes, ma'am." Kiyo's voice was tiny, but she hesitated for only a moment before obeying, breaking away from her friends' embrace to go to Aoi.
In her room, seated on the bed with Kiyo standing in front of her, Aoi began the discussion with the same request she had made of Naho earlier. "Before we start, I want you to explain to me why you're being punished, Kiyo-chan."
Kiyo twisted and toyed with the corner of her sleeve. "It's because I ran away."
"Why was it unacceptable for you to run away?"
"Because it scared everyone when we disappeared."
"And why else was it wrong?"
"I don't know." The little voice was already beginning to crack. "But I'm sorry, Aoi-neechan."
Aoi was careful not to let her own voice or her manner betray any sympathy. It was awkward to transition from hugging and comforting to disciplinarian mode, but she held firm. "We talked about this earlier, Kiyo-chan. The main reason you shouldn't have left home was the fact that it was dangerous. Now climb up and lie down over my lap so we can get this done quickly."
Slowly, Kiyo did as she was told, getting up onto the bed and turning around to place herself over Aoi's knee. Aoi gave her a second or two before she began to bring her hand down on her bottom. The spanks were firm, and though Kiyo made an effort to be brave the way Naho had been, she gave up on holding still after the second smack. By the fifth one, she was bawling.
"Children do not punish themselves, Kiyo-chan." Aoi spanked with a little extra force to emphasize her words. "Punishing yourself is an unhealthy habit!" She felt a bit like a hypocrite here, as she knew that sometimes she punished herself in small ways if she fell short of a goal or her own standards. But this was about the safety of her girls, not about her own troubles. "In the first place, you're too young to know what a reasonable punishment for making a mistake is. I was upset when I made you leave the hospital, and I know I was too harsh about it, but that wasn't a punishment. I did out of fear for your safety."
Aoi began to aim swats at the sensitive undercurve of Kiyo's bottom, eliciting louder cries and causing her to rake the bed with her toes. "You three could have gotten lost out there in the woods. You could have had someone stroll right into that rickety old cabin and kidnap you. I won't stand for you putting your safety or health at risk for any reason. This is why we will never have anymore running off. Do we have an understanding, Kiyo-chan?"
"Yes, ma'am," Kiyo choked out. "I won't do it again!"
Aoi dished out the last three spanks, targeting the center of the bottom now. Upon permitting Kiyo to sit up, she did not waver about hugging this time, but took the little one into her arms so that she could cry into her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Aoi-neechan," Kiyo quavered between sobs.
"I know." Aoi's hand moved over Kiyo's back in slow circles. "You don't have to keep apologizing. I promise I'm not upset with you anymore. I'm sorry I had to do this. I don't like punishing you. I just don't want anything to happen to my Kiyo-chan."
These reassurances seemed to calm Kiyo down. Gradually, the sobbing ceased, leaving sniffles and hiccups in its place. Kiyo drew back to wipe her eyes.
"Aoi-neechan, I. . .I really am sorry. It's my fault we left home. I was the one who said we should. Naho-chan thought we should do something nice for you to show we were sorry for giving you a hard time at the hospital, but I thought you didn't like us anymore."
It hadn't occurred to Aoi to question whose idea it had been to leave home. She had pictured them deciding all at once to run away, but it made more sense for them to have talked it over. With that being said, did it really matter who had suggested the act of wrongdoing? While she wasn't sure she thought it mattered much, it was apparent that Kiyo felt guilty, probably more because she had led her friends to earn spankings than for any other reason.
"Kiyo-chan," Aoi answered after a few moments of consideration, "thank you for being honest with me."
Taking the girl by the hand, she guided her back into position across her knee. As Kiyo lay there, stiff with anticipation, but obedient, she gave her two whacks to the rear end. Though they were firm, unpleasant enough to make Kiyo jump, they were not as forceful as the previous ones.
Kiyo held still as if expecting more spanks, but Aoi helped her up and into her arms. "It was naughty of you to tell Sumi-chan and Naho-chan you should all run away, Kiyo-chan. But they were the ones who chose to listen. You can't take the blame for their actions just as they can't take the blame for yours."
"Yes, ma'am." Kiyo appeared confused and uncertain. "But I thought you were angry at Naho-chan and me for just watching while Sumi-chan grabbed the hot water."
Was Aoi sending the girls mixed messages? The poor little ones. She did her best to explain. "No, I wasn't angry with any of you, not even Sumi-chan. I was just upset about the fact that Sumi-chan was almost burned. I should have told you that from the very start. I'm sorry I made you three think I didn't like you anymore, but I do love you. When I think you're in danger, it frightens me. That's the only reason I reacted the way I did."
It felt a little strange - not wrong, but odd - to apologize to children, children whom she had scolded for behaving thoughtlessly. She supposed it shouldn't have felt strange, though. Shinobu-sensei had apologized to her the other day after reprimanding her. Shinobu-sensei regularly apologized to people, now that Aoi thought of it, even if oftentimes the apologizing was just a routine part of interacting with whiny patients and she did it in that cheerful, breezy way of hers. She did not try to take herself seriously the way that Aoi did.
Kiyo offered her forgiveness in the form of a hug. "I love you, too, Aoi-neechan. We'll be better from now on. We won't do anything to make you worry again, I promise."
"It would be hard for you never to do anything to make me worry again," Aoi had to admit. "I'm always worrying about you three. All I ask is for you to be good girls and not do things that could get you hurt. If you'll follow that rule, I promise I'll do my best not to lose patience so often."
"We'll be good girls." Kiyo diverted her gaze to her feet before going on. "Aoi-neechan. . .I know we're responsible for our own actions. But please, can you not spank Sumi-chan with the belt? You said you wouldn't have punished us if we hadn't run away, and I'm the one who told her to. I feel bad."
Even though she did not really intend to make Sumi's punishment much more severe than the other girls' had been, the thought of what she had promised to do made Aoi's heart feel heavy enough to weigh her down. Of course, she could not reassure Kiyo that Sumi would not receive a harsh punishment; that would defeat the purpose of her using the belt to begin with. Instead, she tried to address the feelings of guilt. "Kiyo-chan, if it's anyone's fault other than Sumi-chan's that I have to punish her with the belt, then it's mine, not yours. But I promise I won't hurt Sumi-chan. The spanking will be over before you realize it, and Sumi-chan's might sting for a little longer than yours did, but she'll feel better soon."
Kiyo's tiny shoulders sagged, but she did not put up anymore of a fight. "Okay."
"You can go and sit with her and Naho-chan now. I'll come in for her in a little while."
Kiyo obeyed, though when she stood, her eyes fell upon the belt and lingered until she made herself take baby steps out of the room. Once alone with the terrible object, Aoi took the belt into her hands. It was not heavy, and the leather was still new and hard, the polish fresh - it was flexible enough to be looped up, but not enough to be very whippy, the way she imagined a belt that was used for punishing usually was. Flexible, whippy belts either were old, she guessed, or had been "broken in" through regular use in punishments. Thirteen strokes with this shouldn't hurt Sumi very much.
But suppose they did? What if Aoi hit too hard and managed to hurt her still? It wasn't as though she knew what she was doing.
Aoi folded the belt into a loop. She turned her left palm up and gave it a whack. The blow didn't smart very much, so she gave herself a second, harder whack, then a third, as hard as she could make it. Her palm stung, but she wasn't certain this was really helpful in gauging how bearable the pain would be for Sumi, and she knew that the sound of the whacks was probably frightening the little girls. She could not keep putting the belting off - if she thought about it for too long, she wouldn't go through with it. She laid the belt aside for the moment and went to the doorway of the girls' bedroom for the last time.
The girls sat huddled up on the bed, with Kiyo and Naho on either side of Sumi and their arms around her. When her name was called, Sumi slowly rose, and, very reluctantly, her friends let go of her. Kiyo gave her hand a squeeze and Naho gently patted her arm as if to reassure her that she would be fine. As bravely as she could, she went over to Aoi.
Aoi left the girls' door open, but, once she and Sumi were in her room, closed her own. Though she stood shakily, Sumi managed to keep her eyes dry until Aoi picked the belt up and doubled it over. Then the tears flooded those wide blue eyes, and her lips parted and began to tremble.
Aoi let the belt hang at her side. Somehow she spoke steadily. "I don't want you to think that I'm punishing you to be mean, Sumi-chan. Before I start, I want to be sure you understand why I have to do this. Can you tell me what you're being punished for?"
No words came out of Sumi's mouth, but after a few moments, she did nod.
"What did you do to earn a spanking, Sumi-chan? If you need a little time to answer, that's fine; I won't rush you."
Sumi closed her mouth, then opened it again. "It's because I. . .because we. . ." The sniffles won out over any further efforts to speak.
Aoi wanted to drop the belt, to sit down with Sumi and hug her until the tears slowed, explaining to her all the while just why she had to protect her by punishing her. She recalled the days when she had been in Sumi's position, though. Having Mother try to comfort her before a spanking would only have prolonged her distress. She would have wanted to get the punishment over and done with.
Ignoring the ache of the knot that had gathered in her throat, Aoi placed her left hand on Sumi's shoulder. Turning her around, she moved her to the edge of the bed, then, with gentle pushes, guided her till she was bending over it. She stepped back. As the belt dangled from her hand, the tinkling of the buckle was the loudest sound in the world. The belt was aimed, hesitated for a moment, then reared before swinging in to cross Sumi's bottom in the first stripe.
CRACK! The hit was firm, but not very forceful. Still, Sumi, probably as shaken by the sound as she was by the pain of the spank, screamed outright and scrambled to her feet.
"Back over the bed, Sumi-chan," Aoi commanded. "Do your best to hold still, and this will be over soon."
Sumi, from whom small sobs were escaping now, made no move to get back into position. In the end, Aoi had to guide her over the bed once again. The belt came in with another CRACK, then, after a pause, a third. Sumi jumped and shrieked at every lick she received, but by gripping fistfuls of the bedding, she was able to hold herself more or less in place.
Aoi spanked slowly, pausing for a few seconds between licks, to make each stroke count. She spoke over the pitiful cries that came from below. "I know that you wanted to help me in the kitchen, Sumi-chan, but you should have known better than to meddle. There were specific things I asked you three to do, and touching the pot wasn't one of them. If you think this spanking hurts, imagine how horrible it would have felt to have boiling water -" she emphasized these words with an especially-hard whack "- spilled all over you! I've had to treat children who have suffered severe burns on their arms, legs, even their stomachs because they were careless while handling scalding water in the kitchen. That kettle was almost your size, Sumi-chan, and that water was past the point of scalding. You could have burned your whole face and body. You could have sustained injuries that would have lasted you a lifetime - or even died."
Sumi sobbed without speaking. It was just as well for Aoi, who probably would have cried herself if the little girl had given a frantic, tearful apology, as Kiyo and Naho had during their spankings. She had a feeling that unlike with the other two, Sumi would only have been apologizing because of the pain and not out of remorse, which would have made Aoi feel even more like a torturer. A child's remorse stemmed from the love she had for her caretaker and disciplinarian, and Aoi was sure that at the moment, Sumi did not like her very much.
The belt licked the backs of the thighs. "You will never run away again. When I tell you to wait for me at home, I expect you to be there. Nor will you ever again touch a piece of hospital equipment that you haven't been trained to use without permission. If you risk hurting yourself at the hospital a second time, I will suspend you as my helper, and I will spank you twice as severely as right now. Do we have an understanding?"
The belt stopped, pausing before the final stroke until Sumi managed out, hiccuping, "Yes, ma'am."
With one last whack, the punishment ended. Aoi laid the belt aside. She reached down to rub Sumi's back.
"You can get up now, Sumi-chan." Now that she didn't need to scold anymore, her voice slipped back into that gentleness she wasn't sure would ever stop feeling strange and clumsy coming from her.
Sumi stood as soon as she was granted permission. Her tear-sodden, glistening face was pink from the exertion of crying. As her hands went back to rub her rear end, Aoi continued. "I'm sorry I was so harsh, but I had to be. It hurts me to think of anything happening to you, so I wanted to make sure you wouldn't forget this lesson."
When Sumi stopped nursing her smarting backside, Aoi ventured to ask, "Can we hug?"
Sumi's arms did not leave her sides. Aoi hoped that the hurt she felt did not show in her face. She was a nurse, a healer; her Sumi was in pain, and she so badly wanted to take that pain away that she had pushed past her natural shyness to offer her a hug. But it was understandable that Sumi was not interested, and it would be more harmful to force affection onto her than to respect her wishes.
"It's all right if you don't want to. You can go back with Kiyo-chan and Naho-chan or do anything else you need to in order to feel better. I'll be in later to put the lights out."
Sumi wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She answered, still wet-voiced and almost inaudible, "Yes, ma'am."
The little girl turned to trail out of the room. Practically as soon as Aoi's bedroom door opened, Kiyo and Naho could be heard hurrying to their own door to meet their friend. Sumi retreated to the safety of her room and shut the door behind herself.
Alone now, Aoi returned to the bed to retrieve the belt, which she took to her closet. As she hung it up on the rod, she wondered whether using it had been the wrong decision after all. Her bond with Sumi would probably never be the same.
At least she was sure that she would never have to follow through on her threat to take the belt down from the hanging rod again. Sumi had acted as though she'd been getting the worst spanking in the world, which, Aoi supposed, was the reaction she had been aiming for. Did that mean she had made the right decision?
Slowly, Aoi made her way into the kitchen, where she got to work on tomorrow's breakfast and lunch. To whom could she turn for advice? Her first thought was of asking Shinobu-sensei for help. Surely she would know what to do; she always did. But Aoi had already worried and burdened her once before with her poor handling of the girls. The same went for Mitsuri, Kanao, the Kamados, Inosuke and Zenitsu. No - she couldn't dump her troubles on them again, not so soon after the disaster that had started at the hospital. She would just wait until tomorrow, when Sumi might be more open to talking, and apologize to her for using the belt.
Even an apology might not be enough to mend their relationship, though. And if Sumi wanted little to do with Aoi from this point on, would she stop wanting to help out in the hospital? It might even be in Sumi's best interests to live with and be looked after by someone else. That thought was awful enough. But in that case, what would be done about the other girls? Kiyo and Naho still wanted Aoi to be their big sister, and yet the three girls hadn't been apart since the day they'd run away from the orphans' home together. When they saw how badly she had upset Sumi, Kiyo and Naho's feelings towards Aoi might change, anyway.
If she wanted to be the girls' guardian and big sister, Aoi had to do the right thing even if it meant they might stop liking her. That, in any case, had been Shinobu-sensei's philosophy with regard to child-rearing. It couldn't be healthy for a child, though, to be forced to remain in the care of someone whom she hated. For Kiyo, Naho and Sumi, it would be almost as unkind as forcing them to go back to the orphanage.
Aoi, having finished cooking, was washing a skillet, doing her best to ignore her worries in favor of work, when she heard the girls' bedroom door open. There was the sound of someone, then of one or two others, tiptoeing down the hall. Most likely someone had to use the washroom - Sumi, perhaps, who was bringing one or both of the other girls along so that she wouldn't have to leave the room alone. But the tiny, timid footsteps came into the living room, then, after a halt and a lengthy silence, headed in the direction of the kitchen.
Sumi was the first to appear in the kitchen doorway; the heads of the other two came into view behind hers. Aoi turned away from the sink and wiped her hands on her apron. Sumi stood there studying her own hands. Her eyelashes still gleamed with dampness, but her cheeks were dry.
Aoi decided to speak. "I'm sorry if I was too harsh, Sumi-chan. I. . .I would never want you to have to feel afraid of me or anyone else you know."
Unexpectedly, Sumi came forward and wrapped her arms around Aoi's waist in a tight hug. She hid her face against the apron.
"I wasn't scared of you," she confessed, small-voiced. "I was just angry at you for spanking me. But I deserved it. I know the boiling water would have hurt more - much more. And I scared everyone by touching it and even almost got Kiyo-chan and Naho-chan hurt - and again by running away. Both times. . .if you hadn't saved us, Aoi-neechan. . ."
Aoi could have cried at being addressed by that title, which she'd convinced herself that she would lose. She controlled herself, however, and, instead, knelt down to draw Sumi fully into her arms. "There, there. You don't need to make a fuss about that. I'm your big sister; it's my responsibility to protect you. You were punished for the things you did, and we'd already forgiven you besides. All I ask is for you three to behave yourselves so that you won't be hurt. You don't know how thankful I am for the fact that you weren't the other night."
Sumi laid her cheek against Aoi's. "I'm just thankful you're our big sister."
As Kiyo and Naho joined the hug, Aoi answered, "I'll be your big sister for as long as you want me to be."
"Does that mean we can go back to work at the hospital tomorrow?" Kiyo wanted to know.
"Yes, you can come to the hospital with me tomorrow so long as you settle down and get plenty of sleep tonight."
Sumi drew away to ask, "Please, Aoi-neechan, can you put my hair in two ponytails again?"
"Oh, that isn't fair," Naho protested. "Aoi-neechan did your hair last time, too, Sumi-chan!"
"Yes, we want a turn, too!" Kiyo pitched in.
"Don't start to argue, girls. I want you three to be recognizable by your hairstyles while you're at the hospital, so only Sumi-chan gets to wear ponytails. But I'll do your hair for you tomorrow morning, Naho-chan, and, Kiyo-chan, you'll have a turn after her. Now start getting ready for bed. I'll be in soon."
This solution seemed to satisfy the girls, who did as they were asked, retiring to the back. Before Aoi was finished in the kitchen, the sounds of chatter and laughter were warming the air of the house.