Chapter 16: It's So Hot!

It's rabbit vs rabbit! Can Judy hold her own against Roger Rabbit? Recently Bob Igar mentioned that the hot, humid Florida summertime weather was a factor contributing to the slump in attendance at Disney World. I guess he would know, after all, he was once a weatherman. Far from being a expert, but just a mere farmer, I think he needs to take a closer look at how far apart their current creations have distanced themselves from what their consumer's want. You don't plant peanuts when everyone wants soybeans and then blame the buyers when you can't sell your crop.

It was so hot that...

"Reading fanfiction is like plunging your hands into a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans."

Clin Lai, 3 warnings to keep in mind if you start reading fanfiction [The Liberal Arts in Singapore: A thought space for the Yale-NUS College community blog.]

"Is that a Harry Potter thing?" Old Goat

Employee's Lounge

Walt Disney World, Florida

"Carrots," the fox said, smiling after he leaned forward slightly. "It's so hot that my sweat is sweating. " The fox chuckled at his own joke as he sat back in his chair and watched the bunny take a seat on the other side of the breakroom table. The fox had loosened his tie even more than usual and had unbuttoned his green tropical print shirt, revealing more of the creamy white fur on his chest.

Next to the rabbit and fox was a table bustling with activity. Flik and some of his ant friends were chomping down on a grape jelly sandwich.

Clarabelle Cow was sitting at another table with her long-time boyfriend Horace Horsecollar. " I can't believe that they are calling the Contemporary Resort here at Disney World one of the ugliest buildings in America!" the horse fussed as he handed his cell phone to the cow.

"P-p-please, you call that a joke, fox?" a familiar voice loudly called out from nearby, and Nick glanced over to where Roger Rabbit was sitting with his wife, Jessica.

"What was wrong with my joke?" Nick asked.

"Your 'It's so hot' joke was lame, is that the best you can do?" the white rabbit in the red overalls and yellow gloves replied.

"You think you can do better?" Nick challenged.

"Sure, fox, leave the comedy to a professional," Roger answered as he stood up and with a flourish of his paws, he announced, "It's so hot that you can't make a chili dog."

The fox began to respond to the challenge, but he was surprised when Judy put a paw on his shoulder and bodily yanked him back into his chair. "Don't worry, Slick, I have this," the bunny said.

"Carrots, are you sure?"

"Well, it's so hot that my canned corn started popping," Judy proclaimed. She had stood up and had her paws on her hips and was giving the other rabbit as close to a foxy smirk as a bunny could make.

"Roger, her joke was better," Jessica commented. The overly curvy toon was daintily sitting in her chair wearing her usual very tight dress, her legs were crossed, showing almost too much of her thigh. In all fairness, it wasn't her fault that she was so seductively sexy, as she once explained to Detective Eddie Valiant, "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way!"

"Oh yeah, well I've just started!" he said with a bounce. "I'll show you why they call me the King of the One-Liners."

"Rodney Dangerfield was the King of the One-Liners. You're the Boisterous Bunny of Slapstick." the red-haired toon corrected the rabbit before she returned to reading the paperback romance novel she was holding.

"That's right! Do you remember the night when Rodney, Baby Herman, and I were on The Tonight Show? We had the audience rolling in the aisles with laughter."

"Are we done? Have you given up?" Judy challenged.

But once Roger started, there was no stopping the funny bunny. "It's so hot that the chickens laid hard-boiled eggs," he shot back.

"It's so hot that cows are producing evaporated milk," was the other rabbit's comeback.

"Hey!" Clarabelle protested.

"Sorry!" Judy apologized with a shrug of her shoulders.

"It's so hot that I called my ex to get some shade." Roger quickly countered. He had crossed his arms and gave her a raspberry.

"What ex?" Jessica asked with a pout.

"There is only you, Sweety Pie", the bunny quickly answered.

"Good, otherwise there will be no patty cake for you tonight."

"It's so hot that birds have started pulling out worms with an oven mitt," Judy interrupted with her joke.

"It's so hot that the bread I bought at the store turned to toast on the way home," Roger countered.

And so it continued one bad pun after another, back and forth. It seemed that there was no stopping the two rabbits.

"It's so hot that even artificial plants are wilting."

"It's so hot that my dream house is now an igloo."

"It's so hot that my clothes dried right after I took them out of the washing machine."

"It's so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down."

"It's so hot that the ocean only has heatwaves."

"It's so hot that my AC has to have an AC."

Nick tried not to groan, for the competitiveness had gotten out of control.

Suddenly the breakroom door swung open and everyone but Roger looked over to see who was standing in the doorway. There stood what appeared to be a girl engulfed in fire! "It's so hot that someone has burst into flames!" Horace cried out in surprise.

"That wasn't funny," Roger said, not realizing what was going on. "If you're going to do a 'It's so hot joke', you have to..."

"No, someone is really on fire!" Clarabelle interrupted the rabbit with a scream as she pointed at the door.

Nick leaped to his hindpaws and dashed over to the fire extinguisher on the wall. Yanking it from its mount, he aimed it at the startled girl and pulled the trigger.

......Nothing happened......

"Nick, the pin!" Judy yelled out. "Pull the pin!"

Just before the fox could pull the pin free, someone else stepped next to the flaming girl and he appeared to be made out of water. "It's so hot that I thought I was going to..." he started to say and then he saw the frantic-looking fox standing there. "What's wrong?"

"Ahh...nothing," Nick replied as he tried to nonchalantly hide the fire extinguisher behind his fluffy tail.

'Hi!" the flaming girl said as she waved at everyone in the room. "I'm Ember Lumen and this is Wade Ripple."

"Are you with Disney?" Flik asked.

"We're from Pixar," Wade quickly answered.

The Contemporary Resort was recently dubbed one of the ugliest buildings in Florida by Travel Alot. It was considered very modernistic when it opened in 1971 and the monorail runs through the center of the building. it was also the site of President Richard Nixon's infamous 'I'm not a crook' speech in 1973.

The late, great Rodney Dangerfield was famous for his stand up comedy. "I don't get no respect," was his catchphrase.

Amber and Wade are from Pixar's new movie, Elemental. Some online critics have branded the movie a Pixar ripoff of Zootopia, without the animals. I have not seen the movie, but the reviews seem mixed. Worldwide it has grossed over $360 million.