Tank in a breechcloth.
Ranger in a leather thong.
Santos- holy shit, that was really Lester Santos shaking his ass on stage.
They could be the perfect cover for the weekend's events.
But their inhibitions would need to be lowered. Significantly.
He sat back in the corner and watched the night's events unfold.
Their target was the Freddie Mercury singer- clearly a wanted man. Well, patience was its own reward. He would allow them to capture the criminal. Then he would get to work. He set a recording device up to capture the events. Nobody would believe him otherwise.
They actually won. And posed with the trophy. Ranger and his men never disappointed. He watched as Tank and Ranger positioned themselves to take custody of the Mercury character. The five men made a flawless team. He was casual as he stepped out to have a cigarette, remaining in the shadows. He caught sight of Brown, serving as the driver of the SUV taking away the criminal along with two of Ranger's men. He had wondered where Bobby was. He heard Bobby call, "I will drop them off and be back in twenty." He also heard Lester's response, "Now we can get back to your bachelor's party, Ric."
Ranger was getting married. But Ranger was recently married to a child bride… Unless his last report was incorrect. No matter. He could make this party unforgettable. And Ranger wouldn't remember a goddamn thing. A smile crept across his face. Ranger would get payback, but it would be worth it.
After arranging for the first dose of Rohypnol to be dissolved in the martinis the men were drinking, he took stock. The effects of that single dose would take 30 minutes to be felt, but would last only 8 to 12 hours. He would need to ensure they were dosed repeatedly until he had completed his work. Which meant he would need to arrange a constant flow of entertainment. Hookers, Dancers, Musicians, booze and food- the best Las Vegas had to offer- all with strict instructions and professionals well paid enough to follow his directions. But he would start with a free upgrade to the best suite in their hotel, so all the events of the next 30 odd hours could be filmed- you never knew when such a video could prove handy. Plus, it would ensure the four had a solid alibi- this was essential.
His plan was perfect. The heist was scheduled for midnight Friday- and FBI and local law enforcement would never know what hit them.
Before heading to the hotel vault, he checked the video feed. A game of quarters was underway, and the Blue Whale punch, made of several different liquors and Mauna Lai Paradise Passion guava/passion fruit punch was ingested a shot at a time. The ice in the punch bowl was frozen vodka. Tank and the girl on his team were on a run and Bobby, Ranger and Lester had downed shots for themselves as well as the female partners. He loved the look of Lester's girl. The feathers on her mini skirt nearly matched Tank. It had been a stroke of genius to have the girls convince them to stay dressed as the Village People. But then the Blue Whale got splashed around and the guys all had to change clothes and the game changed to strip poker. These guys weren't going anywhere. He shut off the video feed and headed down to the vault.
Once all the security points were passed, he would have twenty minutes to pack out the money before the silent alarm would alert law enforcement. He was in and out in ten. By the time the police and FBI task force responded, he was at the Craps table of the casino. After their arrival, he causally made his way to his room and drew up the feed again.
More people had arrived- some of the men from the gay bar- Lester had invited them to stop by. Also the couple from the suite across the hall. Bobby invited them. And now, there was a rousing version of "I Will Survive" being sung by Tank, of all people. The RangeMan guys knew how to throw a party. He wished he could be there. But they knew him too well, so he couldn't risk it.
Then at 3am, just as the party was starting to wane, the door to the suite burst open and a large group of armed men flooded the room. Ranger and his men moved with precision in front of the civilians and all hell broke loose.
By the time the RangeMan team was in cuffs, he was pretty sure Booby's arm was broken, Lester had a concussion, and Tank had cracked ribs. It took five guys to take down Ranger and several of the armed men were disarmed and unconscious. It was a shit show. But it proved the superiority of Ranger's team- drunk and drugged, they took out several of the enemy without a single civilian coming to harm
The lead FBI agent had Ranger and Tank sedated, and taken to LVPD to be locked up. Bobby and Lester went to the hospital under police escort. FUCK!
The debrief waited until 11am, and the first statement made by the LVPD detective was that the two men they were holding had to be sedated a second time, as they were enraged at being locked in a cell. No kidding. And the fact that they remembered nothing was not going to help them calm down. After this meeting was finished, he would need to dose them again so they wouldn't wake up till the next day. It was going to take some time to clean up this mess.
The lead FBI agent, Supervisory Special Agent Ryan of the Criminal, Cyber, Response, and Services Branch started his presentation by saying that less than an hour after the robbery, which they had responded to in force in less than twenty-five minutes, they received a tip that four men had upgraded to a VIP suite and were throwing a lavish party. In less than three hours, the men were taken into custody. This was clearly the team they had been looking for over the last eight months. There was no ID or luggage in the suite.
"Have the men in the hospital given you anything?" He asked casually from the chair at the back of the room.
"They each requested to make a call to an attorney, and have refused to give any information until an attorney is present." The LVPD representative, Detective Shires stated.
The men had flights to depart Las Vegas for Miami Saturday afternoon. Their luggage and ID were in the room they originally booked. But of course, this group of underwhelming talent hadn't discovered any of this information. And when the attorney arrived, RangeMan would end up suing everybody in this room for false arrest.
His next question silenced the room. "Did you find the money?"
Then he rose and walked to the front of the room and asked everyone to take a seat. After everyone settled down, he advised them that last night's robbery was a field test. The money that was taken is already back in the vault. "It was simulation, to test the skills of this task force, and gentlemen, I must say I am very disappointed in the outcome."
Multiple voices rose around the room and he ordered everyone's silence.
"You will remain silent while I go through the the entire exercise." He looked down at the reports. "At many points last night, there were missed opportunities. A fuller examination of the evidence and available information. A review of surveillance video at the hotel. And then there is the whole scale debacle in the hotel room- Not one of you had a Raid Jacket on. Nobody announced that you were law enforcement…"
Ryan jumped to his feet, "You weren't there…"
"TAKE YOUR SEAT AND REMAIN SILENT. DO NOT MAKE ME SAY THAT AGAIN." His voice boomed. Lowing his voice, he continued, "The hall was under the hotel's surveillance and while many individuals joined the party, none of the men you arrested left the suite at any time in the hours between 11:30 pm and your breech of the suite door. Something you would have learned if you had examined the footage."
Detective Shire raised his hand. After a small nod indicating he could speak, the detective stated, "Even if they didn't commit the robbery, they attempted to kill my officers."
"They incapacitated a number of your team, because they perceived you as a threat, because YOU NEVER IDENTIFIED YOURSELVES. And I promise you, if they wanted to kill your men, they would have. It is what they are trained to do. They are the team that gets called in when Delta teams need back-up. And now, instead of a training session, we have a shitstorm of epic proportions. No wonder your leadership asked me to test your task force. You cut corners and didn't even run a basic investigation before leaping to the wrong conclusion and fucking up BY THE NUMBERS." He took a big breath. "Now I have a mess to clean up."
Fuck!
Calling the General sucked. It was worse than he thought it would be. Telling General Welkin how he set up Ranger's team to look like suspects didn't win him any points. But when the General told him he had fucked up Ranger's wedding, there was ice in his voice.
"The poor girl can't reach any of them and she is absolutely panicked. You said Santos can be released from the hospital? Get him on a plane to Miami ASAP. Bobby should stay to make sure Tank and Ranger have no serious injuries. I want them out of Las Vegas as soon as the anesthesia wears off. Get every charge dropped- like it never happened. And DO NOT tell them what you did. Bobby can tell them when they are on the plane."
"I will arrange everything, Sir, I am so sorry, Sir."
The General paused before responding, then said, "Diesel, when Ranger finds out you did this to him, there will be nowhere you can hide."
"Well, the 'Stans are really lovely this time of year."
Author's note:
There is an almost pornographic picture on the RangeMan Wall of Fame of Junior, Ram, Tank, Lester and Ric singing and dancing to "Y.M.C.A" with their backs to the audience, buns in the breeze and a big trophy at their feet. The actual trophy sits on Lester's desk. If you are ever at the headquarters, you should check them out. The existence of the bachelor party tape has never been proven. Diesel is denying it till he is blue in the face, but insists Tank singing "I Will Survive" made his year, so you decide…