Chapter 47
Warning: Major Character Death and Suicide
Octavia reached across the table and grabbed Echo's hand. She held it, trying to offer the other woman comfort. She knew what was coming. She'd heard it just a few days before, but she knew now that she was going to get so much more. She'd heard the pain in Echo's voice in their hut. She'd heard the same pain in Clarke's voice over the past hours as well. She knew that they were close. Hell, she was close to both of them, but now, knowing this, knowing more of the story, things that she knew made more sense and it hurt. It hurt so much to know how much pain and suffering that they had both shared over the multiple lives that they've been through. She could tell that they just knew each other, and now, everyone there knew why.
Deep green sought out the dark hazel. She gave Echo's hand a squeeze. She didn't let it go. She knew that Echo needed the contact. She could see the tears building. She knew that the rest of them were mesmerized by what they were seeing. Most of them only knew Echo as a cold-hearted spy and assassin, but Octavia and Clarke knew that she was so, so much more. They saw the woman behind the masks that she wore, and they knew why she wore them. There was something so complex and simple about Echo, but they could all see how deeply her loyalty ran...especially for Clarke as she continued to tell them tale.
Octavia also knew that they weren't all sure what to do with this news. She hoped that they maybe they would realize that they only knew so much, they hadn't suffered like Echo, Clarke, and she had with all the rebirths. They didn't understand why Clarke was cracking, but now, they would begin to understand it more. They would forgive Echo and Octavia for leaving them, because they could finally understand the heartache that accompanied them through each rebirth, each new life, as they followed Clarke in trying to save all of humankind. It wasn't an easy thing for anyone to do, and they would understand that some lessons have to be learned on their own from personal experience. That kind of devotion and loyalty couldn't be taught, only earned.
"Ash?"
"I'm fine, Ou," Echo replied. "Clarke used my body for two days. I am not ashamed to say that I let her. I thought that if she took her emotions and aggression out on me that we could find a way to live without Madi. I was wrong. I knew it was wrong, but I loved her too much to let her go. I knew it wasn't healthy, but I thought that it was working. I didn't see the signs, really. But, then again, I was battling my own grief."
"No one blames you..." Lexa started.
"I blame myself," Echo hissed back, took a deep breath, and then calmly continued. "I blame myself for them both, for their deaths. I wasn't worthy to serve Wanheda. I hadn't been worthy of the blood. I had failed them both."
"Ash, you know how Clarke is. If she doesn't want you to know, you won't. She was lost in her grief. You can't blame yourself for that," Octavia tried.
Echo's eyes burned with fiery emotion and loads of passion as she stared Octavia down from her seat.
"Oh, I can, and I do. I swore to protect them. I swore to serve her. I swore to help her save Mankind. I did none of those things," Echo lamented. "Sure, we had six great, wonderful years together in Eden. We fell in love with each other. We raised Madi together. We lost Madi together. I taught her how to survive in Azgeda and in our world. I taught her the legends of Wanheda that I knew and believed.
"You have to understand that in this life, I had dedicated myself to Kwin Nia because I had no choice. I did her bidding, even though I knew that it went against the prophecies and tenants of those that served Wanheda. But, the Keyronkepas knew that I was doing it to survive. They didn't fault me for it. They made me learn the legends and the prophecies harder. They reminded me that my faith was to be in the Truth of Wanheda and their return.
"The first time that I laid eyes on Clarke was just after the Fall of the Mountain. I couldn't believe that someone so young, so untested, so naïve could be Wanheda. It just shouldn't be possible, but I watched her anyway. I could see the way that the commanded those around her. I could see the wisdom beyond her years. I could hear it in her voice, but she was still my mission. Nia wanted her and I had to deliver her. I'd heard the rumors and the gossip by the time that I caught up with her in the woods weeks later. She was losing her mind. I thought that Keyron had left her.
"And, then, I saw her blood on the trail back to Nia," Echo told them. She paused as she gave a self-depreciating laugh. "I should have known then how much that woman was going to change my life, but I didn't. The longer we were on the road, the more signs that I saw. I let my mind show me things that I wanted to see because deep down part of me wanted it to be her. The child that had grown up on the tales and the legends wanted to be in the presence of greatness and see its wrath as Wanheda did whatever she'd come to do.
"I couldn't deny that she was from the stars. I couldn't deny the color of her hair or eyes. I couldn't deny the way that spoke to elders and leaders as if she wasn't just their equals, but sometimes their superiors. I know that I wasn't the only one that noticed it, too. Ontari did as well. She might not have known the stories or the legends, but she knew that there was something about Clarke that scared her. She scared me, too, but for different reasons."
"Because it was so easy for her you to follow her?" Raven asked as she pushed another cup of hooch across the table.
"Yes," Echo replied, taking the glass, lifting it, chuckling quickly, downing the beverage and then dropping the glass back on the table. "Clarke unnerved me."
"You aren't the only one," Octavia added.
"Oh, I know that I am not. But, she was ain Skaifaya. I had to protect her. I had to save her from Nia. I had to betray my own people."
"Would you do it again?" Octavia questioned.
"I've done it every life since," Echo stated as she cocked her head, letting her words sink in before continuing again. "In each life I woke in after that, I knew that Clarke was coming. I did what I could to prepare Lexa for it, but sometimes I was not listened to. Others, I was killed before I could reach the capital or Clarke. It took many lifetimes before she realized that giving me the serum worked."
"That was after we were caught together," Octavia stated. "But, you died getting us out of Azgeda and back to Trikru to Indra."
"I did. But, before I died, I let Clarke know that it worked. I told her that I'd been working in secret, in the shadows of Azgeda, to help prepare for the coming of Wanheda, and to turn the people against Nia and for Lexa instead. I knew who I could trust and who we couldn't. I knew what to do to turn the tides in Azgeda, so I was. I'd sent word to Indra to pick you both up and carry you to Lexa. On Clarke's body would be a series of tattoos that would explain everything. All I had to do was get you both to Indra, and then Clarke would do the rest. I would take a warrior's death in protecting Wanheda. I was okay with that. It was something that I could do to prove my worth to her. I knew that she didn't want it. I knew that it would bother her, but I knew that it was something that I could handle. She needed to live. I knew the horrors of Praimfaya, and no one else did. My life was not worth thousands of others.
"So, with the knowledge that I would live again, Clarke kept our secret and ran with you. Indra took you in and took you to the lab. She made you sisters in the eyes of Trikru. She made you Trikru in the eyes of the Kongeda. And, in TonDC, you were her daughters and sekkens. No one would touch you. She would get you to Lexa and you would save the world. My job would have been done."
"But, you woke up again?" Luna inquired.
"I did. I realized that there had to be something that Clarke and I missed. So, I changed my goal. It wasn't to find Clarke but to get to Lexa early enough to betray Nia and save Azgeda from war, famine, and anything else that Nia could do. I was glad to do it.
"It wasn't until our last life though, that the memories of our first life together pushed me beyond my limits. I cracked. I failed her again. And, I knew that I would as soon as we got to the lab. I remembered staying there with her, learning about the craziness that Praimfaya caused and the lifelessness that I would see. I was still healing from the serum, but I was learning about the world before the bombs. I soaked up everything that she told me. I learned how to use simple tek, or at least she told me it was simple. I remembered the fun times that we had and life that we shared...especially the movies.
"And, then that warrior struck her down with his sword in front of me as I was fighting my own people to get to her. I was trying to protect her, and I'd failed again. I'd failed her again. I hadn't gotten caught by the Mountain. I was on my way to Lexa. It was the best and farthest that I'd come without any setbacks, only to lose her anyway. My heart broke, shattered into thousands of pieces.
"I felt like I did the morning I woke to the crack of the pistol, and I knew...I knew that she was gone. There was no other explanation for the sound."
The sniffle echoed through the healer's hut. No one spoke as Echo collected herself. They could feel her pain. A few of them even turned to make sure that both Clarke and Madi were safe on the cot in the back, together and still with them, alive and well. Lexa was one of them. The emotions running through them all were palpable. Lexa couldn't deny it. She'd felt it, too. She looked at her defender, her spy, her personal guard, and dare say she a friend in awe of all that Echo had suffered in order to serve Wanheda, and in doing so, Lexa as well.
"I found her near the place that we had Madi's pyre. She'd placed the pistol to her head and pulled the trigger. I had been asleep as she died. I hadn't felt her leave. I didn't even know that she was gone until I heard that sound. I awoke with a start, but my brain and my body were at war trying to make sense of what I heard and knowing what it meant. But, that isn't the truth.
"I was now the last person on Earth, but I'd died with her," Echo said as her eyes flicked up to meet Octavia's lush green again. She let her words sink in. She let everyone feel her pain. She'd lost Madi, only to lose Clarke and be alone. Death would have been not only a godsend. It would have been an obvious choice. It was also something that was inevitable. There would be no more of Man on Earth after Echo's death. Man was extinct.
"I picked her up and took her to the lake to bathe her body. I dressed her in the finest things that I could find. I built her pyre in the same place as Madi's. I didn't eat. I couldn't. I had to send Clarke back to Keyron in hopes that she would wake and this would all be a horrible dream. I prayed to Keyron and the past Wanhedas that this wasn't the way her story would end...the way that mine would end as well. I had failed and I begged to be able to fix it.
"I worked through the day and night, and by the next morning, I had her pyre ready. I wrapped her in the finest blankets and furs that we had. I wanted her to cared for in the next life. I wanted her to be warm enough. I wanted her to be protected. I sent her with my sword and bow. I had no use for them. I laid her on the pyre, but I didn't light it. I went back to the village for a few last things.
"I went into our house and changed into what little armor I still had. I was a warrior and I was going to go out like one. I made up from the ashes in our hearth and some clay the face paint of Azgeda. I covered my face, but I took no weapons save my knife. It would serve its deadly purpose one last time. It was all I needed to prove myself to Keyron and to Wanheda. I would follow Clarke into the afterlife and Keyron willing into each rebirth for her. I would serve her again, if I was allowed, but I knew that no one would mourn me. I knew that my body wouldn't be burned. I knew that if it were to happen, it would be at Keyron's discretion. I was the last of all of Man. Keyron was the only one that could stop me, now.
"Before I walked, solemnly, back to Clarke's pyre, I lit the house on fire. If Clarke's fears were answered after our deaths and Diyoza came, I didn't want them to have anything about us. We weren't theirs. Clarke was from the stars and that is where she would return. I was of the ground and I would give myself back to it. I owed Keyron for a lot in my life. I was finally ready to repay my debts. No one else would be allowed to know our story. We had been the last.
"When I got to where Clarke's pyre was, I made a small fire beside me. I had everything that I needed to complete the ritual. Now, I just had to send Clarke back to the stars. I had to let my Skaifaya go and burn brightly again. All I had was the hope that I would be with her again. I'd brought along a bucket of what Madi called 'burning sap.' It was a pitch that those from her village used to start wet fires, but it also helped fires to spread and burn hotter. I poured it over the pyre and reached for a stick with flames from my little fire to light Clarke's pyre. As soon as it was alight, I fell to me knees before it, watching her burn brightly before me. Ain Skaifaya fleim em blainen au. (My star burned up brightly.)
"I cried. I sobbed. I pushed away the pain of my grief as I plunged the knife into my stomach. I welcomed death. And as I was dying, I saw Keyron. He came to me and I saw all those that had gone before me...my parents...the real Echo...Madi and Clarke...They were all waiting on me to join them in the afterlife.
"I completed the ritual to ensure my death and felt myself losing the battle to live. I said the words that I had so many times in anger on the battlefield, over a pyre of friend or comrade, but this time I knew that they were for myself. 'Ai goplei ste odon.' I saw the flames of Clarke's pyre rise up and claim her as my body perished and I was no longer the last living person on Earth.
"I don't know what happened to my body. I don't know if any thing found me. I don't know if the wildlife came to claim me for their own food. I was dead. It didn't matter. There was no one to mourn us or our passing. I could only hope that Keyron would be merciful to me."
Echo paused here as she looked around at them. She didn't see pity in their eyes. She saw understanding. Which is why when she laughed, they all looked at her worriedly. She knew that they might not understand the juxtaposition that she found herself in, being alive there now with them all, but she did.
"I only took my knife with me because I knew that I was going to use it to kill myself," Echo stated, starting up again with another self-depreciating laugh. "But, I sent Clarke into the next life with my prized bow and sword. I wanted her to be protected. I gave her everything that I could as I let myself die in dirt of Louwoda Kliron. I was far from home. I'd betrayed my people. I'd betrayed my Heda. I felt like I was dying for nothing, but I knew that I would do it all again for Clarke. I would follow her to the ends of the Earth and beyond. I have. And, I know that I'll do it again.
"I woke up sometime later. I was back in my same body. It was before Skaikru came back to the Ground.
"I pricked my finger and saw that it ran dark, almost black. I knew that I couldn't let Nia find out. I knew that I couldn't Ontari know. I knew that I had to get to Lexa. She'd just come into power as Heda and I knew that I could tell her things. I could help her. I knew that in helping her, I would be helping Clarke. There was nothing else for me to do. I had to get to Heda before Clarke came, so that I could prepare her for their coming..."