A/N: Miss Ma'am is back so hopefully this means I'm in the clear in terms of health for a long while. Anyway let me know how you feel about this chapter.

JPOV:

"Have you lost your mind," Sam growled.

"This is the way we've always done things Jacob. The less people that know the easier it is to keep things under-wraps," Old Quil.

"That's easy for some of us to maintain but none of you are thinking about those of us that can't," I glanced at Embry briefly as I made my argument.

"A decision like that poses an unnecessary risk, Jacob," My father tried to reason with me as he no doubt agreed with Old Quil's and Sam's sentiments.

"Yeah well you're not even thinking about how much easier this could make the lives of those of us without parents that know," I shot back.

"They don't need to know!"

"You're not even considering Jacob's view on the issue!" This time it was Embry that pushed back against Old Quil's argument.

"There is nothing to consider. We don't need the risk!"

"That's easy for you to say. You're in the shifters main bloodline," there was bite in Embry's voice as he responded.

"There are already several kids ready to shift whose parents don't know a damn thing about this and we already have several here. I bet you didn't know that Tiffany is so close to kicking Embry out."

As soon as I mentioned the situation with Embry's mother, Old Quil's rebuttal caught in his throat.

"We have plenty of people willing to take Embry in if it comes to that," Sam said.

"That's not the point and you know it Sam," Paul snapped. He had already experienced the impact of what keeping this secret meant. His parents were divorced and his father had custody. He kicked him out and disowned him for the constant problems he caused sneaking out and skipping school and his mother refused to take on the task of putting up with an unruly teen. He was currently staying in the guest room at Sam and Emily's place.

"Fine. Since this is so important to you all, the council will take the time to consider it," dad said. I rolled my eyes because I knew what that answer meant.

"How about not," Jared spoke. "This is an issue that concerns all of us. How about all of us vote on it?"

He looked to me to confirm his suggestion.

"Let's all take a week to think about it and then reconvene to vote," I confirmed

"You're not Alpha yet, Jacob," Old Quil pointed to me with his shakey shriveled finger.

"For months you've been insisting that I take on my birthright as Alpha. I'm doing just that. You should be relieved old man," I smirked.

When the meeting finally ended, I quickly left refusing to let my dad try and convince me to change my mind. I could feel his eyes on me as soon as my idea was made known to everyone.

I didn't wanna hear it.

I got back home within 5 minutes. When I walked in Bella was lying curled up on the old beige scratchy couch in our living. She must not have been asleep for long because the sound of the screen door slamming shut woke her.

Her face scrunched as she stretched and looked in my direction. She smiled dreamily as she attempted to push herself up off the couch and stumble towards me.

I don't think I can do this again.

"Jake," she sighed as she wrapped her arms around my waist and nuzzled her face in my chest. My hands hovered as I was caught between returning affection we had always shared or pulling her off of me to protect myself.

She pulled back and looked up at me.

"I missed you," she said. She said it in that same soft tone she used at her wedding when I finally showed up.

Of course I missed you. How could I not?

She locked her arms around me as I reached for them to stop the hug. If I was the same scrawny boy from when we reunited there's no way I would've been able to release myself from the grip she had me in. Then again that version of me would've gladly hugged her back.

But I wasn't that scrawny kid that she flirted with at the beach anymore. The kid that brought her the dreamcatcher for her birthday wasn't me either. The bikes, cliff diving, the charm bracelet, the kiss, the newborn battle, the wedding. None of that was me anymore. The Jacob that practically kills himself trying to save someone that doesn't wanna be saved was gone.

Even if that someone was my bestfriend and the love of my life.

"Jacob, please. Just talk to me. Please," she begged.

"Bells..." Her eyes had a spark of hope in them as I said her nickname. "I'm not doing this with you anymore."

"You're suppose to be my bestfriend," she insisted.

"Your bestfriend, your Sun, your second choice, your last resort," I couldn't help but throw the spite that bubbled up inside me at her.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not gonna get my hopes up of you never turning. Knowing you, you're just going to press the head leech to search for a "cure" to whatever stopped you from turning."

There was pain in my chest as her eyes began to well with tears.

"Jake you don't understand," she looked to me with desperation.

"I understand perfectly. You made it so clear after the battle and you solidified it at your wedding. You love your friends, family, and me. But not enough to turn on leech that broke you. Not enough to live your life with us."

"That's not true, Jake!"

"Oh it isn't? Feel free to explain your logic behind being lost to everyone that gives a damn about you to be undead, perfect and beautiful for eternity."

Her eyebrows scrunched and her jaw clenched as she seemed to bite back whatever she was going to say.

"That's what I thought."

"I know why you're doing this. I deserve it. But why now," she asked as tears streamed down her cheeks. "You were by my side through the most horrifying experience I ever had. Even now that thing that was inside me terrifies me but at least I had you beside me."

"I don't have just you to think about anymore. I have my pack, my family, and my tribe to think about. I still love you so much it hurts but what's the point in fighting for your life when you don't even want it."

"You couldn't be further from the truth."

"Well when you can tell me the truth, you let me know. Until then I have my own duties to tend to. I'm sure you have an undead existence to fantasize about."

I immediately felt an ache as I released her wrists and stepped away from her. She looked at me in disbelief.

"Goodnight, Bells."

She gave me a small smile at my term of endearment.

God, why am I so weak?