Kotori felt oddly calm for someone who had survived a botched assassin attempt by Root. She almost wondered if she should feel flattered that she was enough of a thorn in Danzo's side that he wanted her dead. The vindictive side of her silently screamed for him to come after her himself. There was a bloodlust and desire for vengeance that had taken root inside of her ever since waking up in the hospital three days ago.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was completely rattled and keen to keep her far away from the village elder. She could feel his lone eye watching her from where he was standing with the rest of the jonin. As if someone would dare to attack her in front of so many. Or perhaps reaffirming that she was still alive.

She met his eye, trying to communicate that she was fine. Or as fine as one could be at the funeral of someone they considered a mentor and friend. The photo of Hinoki stood at the front, a candle burning brightly in front as Tsunade solemnly gave a speech. Kotori's heart was somewhere in her stomach as she listened to the same old words that were spoken at every funeral.

It never got any easier.

Kotori stood dressed in black with the rest of the ANBU captains in a show of respect for their fallen comrade and leader. To her left was Yamato while Ken and Mamoru were to her right. The four of them had been kept overnight for observation to ensure that the antidote Sakura created worked. After that they were allowed to leave.

Surprisingly, things had been kept quiet for once. Tsunade had declared the entire situation need-to-know. The last thing she wanted was for it to be known that five ANBU captains had been attacked and one killed within the village. Most of ANBU weren't even aware and it caused an unease amongst their forces. Kotori could see it in their faces as her eyes scanned the funeral. Her eyes lingered on her own team, Kouta, Ryoku and Mimi, who stood together. Every so often she could feel one of them glance at her. Kotori wished she could have kept them out of it, but they had been briefed on the barest of details by Yamato.

Her eyes then wandered over to Hinoki's family in the very front. Kurenai stood next to Masato, the rest of the Sarutobi clan behind them. They had had suffered the losses of Asuma and Hinoki only a few short weeks apart. Masato was trying to hold himself together, although the only thing seeming to keep him grounded was his hand on Konohamaru's shoulder. Naruto stood grimly on the other side of Konohamaru in a touching show of support. The young genin was inconsolable, his shoulders shaking as he hastily wiped the tears and snort running from his face.

Kotori's heart clenched at the sight of him. She had to look away from him or she would start crying too.

Long after the service was over, Kotori found herself called to the Hokage's office. She could see the pain and grief still in Tsunade's eyes. Along with a burning rage. She knew that this would be about continuing their mission and seeing an end to Danzo once and for all.

Kotori felt an almost eager anticipation for her next assignment.

She didn't consider herself a particularly violent or bloodthirsty individual. Shinobi like Ibiki made her feel uneasy, even if they were on the same side. She had no issue killing those who threatened Konoha. When you spent your childhood on the frontlines of a war and nearly a decade in ANBU - when your entire life is spent in survival mood - you don't hesitate. Still, she never enjoyed it and often did it as cleanly and quickly as she could.

But Danzo? Oh, she would gladly carve him up. Kotori would have welcomed coming across Danzo in a dark and empty corridor.

"Well, I didn't want to have to do this so soon, but I have little choice," Tsunade began. "The vultures are already circling. You'll be taking over Hinoki's position as Head of Internal Affairs."

"I - what? No - !" The blood drained from Kotori's face.

Out of all the possible requests, Kotori had never expected that. She had been prepared to walk into Root's headquarters and execute Danzo, consequences be damned. But leading an entire department within ANBU? She wasn't that kind of leader. She had learned to handle the responsibilities that came with being a jonin sensei and then ANBU captain. She could handle a team on a mission. If worse came to worse, her backup plan was always to defend her comrades to the death and send them back on Raiden. But those were just missions.

She had no business running an entire department. Kotori remembered the brief time she had stepped in to help Hinoki in the aftermath of Lord Third's death. Those weeks had been pure hell. Hinoki oversaw the section of ANBU that was in charge of home security. That included village patrols, ANBU bodyguards on key buildings and persons, background checks, internal threats, flushing out spies and traitors. Not to mention replacing the ANBU Commander whenever he was out.

"Hinoki is dead," Tsunade said. Her brown eyes watered at the declaration. "And Masato - he's lost his wife and his brother, weeks apart. Yamato is on a long term assignment. Konoha is vulnerable. I need someone I can trust in that office."

"There's dozens of captains - all more capable," Kotori immediately protested.

"That's bullshit and we both know it. Hinoki believed in you." Tsunade's voice was firm. "It had been her will for some time that you would succeed her should the worst happen."

It was in that moment that Kotori's resolve crumbled. Hinoki had believed in her. How could Kotori let her down now?

"Here," Tsunade softly said. She opened her drawer and pulled out a scroll with a black ribbon around it and handed it to Kotori along with a set of keys. "Take this, we'll debrief tomorrow."

Kotori managed to keep her hands steady as she accepted the scroll and keys from Tsunade. She dismissed herself, taking one of the secret passageways to the underground ANBU Headquarters.

Kotori unlocked Hinoki's office and stepped inside. The office was devoid of any personal possessions, leaving no hint of Hinoki's civilian identity unless one already knew her well. It was poorly lit and a little dingy. Hinoki probably didn't trust genin to clean the space regularly and was too busy to do it herself. There was a simple tapestry on the wall with the word Endure in elegant writing. A small, plastic haworthia sat in a white pot on the desk. A dark green teapot and cups on the shelves behind it. Three photographs were hung on the wall depicting common sights of the village, the Hokage Monument, Senju Park and the Memorial Stone. It could have been anyone's office.

Kotori sat in the leather desk chair, looking at the scroll in hand. She bit her thumb, dropping blood onto the seal.

Kotori,

Years ago you told me you were happy in a supportive role. And I suspect that you would have been content to live your life as one of the countless shinobi and kunoichi who work tirelessly and silently to ensure the safety of our village.

I'm sorry for I have once again taken the decision out of your hands. For if you are reading this letter, then I am dead and you have inherited my office. I know you never wanted to become an ANBU captain, never mind Head of anything. But I know you are far more capable than you have ever given yourself credit for. In my darkness moments, it was you alone who offered to turn on a light. I think Konoha deserves someone who will lead with the strength and compassion you showed me.

I love Konoha. So much that I named my only son in her honour. She gave me the home and family I never had as a child. I believed Hiruzen's words that the entire village was my family and would have done anything to protect her. And it devastates me to this day to know what I allowed to happen behind the scenes.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning. Minato, Arashi and I were all born at the same orphanage outside of Konoha. The village had been losing shinobi faster than they could replace them and so their recruitment stretched to orphanages. It was a better life than the one I had known and so I took a chance when the Hokage himself came to visit. Orphans like us didn't stand much of a chance. Hundreds were sent to the frontlines as cannon fodder with no knowledge but the academy three. The shinobi clans loathed and pitied us in equal measure, not wanting us to learn the shinobi arts that had long been coveted by clans, but treating us as a necessary evil to booster their numbers.

Everything that I have and am I thought I owed to Hiruzen. He gave a poor orphan a home and purpose when I had none. He shaped my career, hand picked me to learn from the legendary Jiraiya and then later entrusted the education of his youngest son to a no-name kunoichi. He welcomed me into his family with open arms when I married Masato. Like so many, I loved and trusted him. I stood by in a supportive role for many years letting my voice be silenced by him and his council. I silenced the questions in my own heart, trusting he knew best. It hurts to admit that as I still loved my father-in-law with all my heart. But I suppose even the best of us make terrible mistakes. As I write this, I'm forced to reflect on my own mistakes that I am now asking you to amend.

I do believe in one thing he taught me - the Will of Fire. I can see it in the eyes of my son and his friends. I can see it in the eyes of the shinobi I have taught and mentored over the years. I believe that the Will I have passed on burns brighter than my own. I believe that this village will overcome the mistakes of its past and that those who come after us will always surpass us. And that is why I have left my office to you. I believe that you can do better. You have a good heart. Listen to it. Don't let those stuffy old coots push you around like I did.

All of my best,

Hinoki

(P.S. There is sake in the trap drawer, unless Tsunade has figured out how to raid my desk. You're going to need it).

Kotori's hands were trembling as she set down the letter, allowing her grief to finally overflow. Her tears felt thick and heavy as they slid down her cheeks. And she grieved for herself too. For the part of her that had to become someone she was not again and again for the sake of the village.

xXx

Hours later, she abandoned the poorly lit office for some sun. Kotori took a long walk around the village. Until she eventually found Ensui training Rika in one of the practice fields. Kotori smiled softly to herself as she watched Rika try to string her shadow underneath the arrow she let loose. Ensui dodged the arrow, but the shadow underneath pined him for a second. Her heart sang for that tiny victory Rika had over someone much larger and stronger. In time, she would be a force to be reckoned with.

And then Ensui reversed the Shadow Possession jutsu and trapped Rika by her own shadow.

"Oh come on!" Rika grouched as she tried to regain control of her jutsu. Her eyes lit up as she noticed Kotori watching them. "Tori-neechan!"

"Hey Rika-chan." She cleared her throat. "I see you've been practicing the jutsu I taught you."

"Oh, yeah. Dad said I should try using it while moving around - that I won't always be still. I've mostly gotten the hang of it, but can't hit all of the targets yet."

"Good, that's good," Kotori lamely agreed.

Her mind had been made up for a while, but she felt oddly nervous as she fiddled with the scroll in her pocket. She had never asked someone if they wanted to sign her hawk ninja contract before. It was silly, any shinobi or aspiring shinobi would - in some cases, quite literally - kill to be able to sign such a contract. But Kotori thought it was highly personal. Even more personal than teaching someone her techniques. But who else but Rika would Kotori want to ask to sign it? Rika who had grown up before her very eyes. The energetic little girl who stole her heart along with her old things.

Perhaps one day Rika would succeed her. Or perhaps not. That was Rika's choice and Kotori resolved that she would fight tooth and nail to make sure Rika had a choice. But regardless, Kotori wanted to give her everything so that whatever she choose, she would succeed.

"Because I have something that will help you with the next step."

Ensui recognized the scroll faster than Rika did.

He seemed stunned. "Kotori, that's your family's contract. Are you sure?"

"Yes." Kotori felt oddly insecure in that moment, wondering if she had overstepped. She had always considered the Nara to be like family to her. She knew that the Nara didn't have a summoning contract. While they had a unique bond with the deer on their land, it wasn't the same.

Rika's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes."

Kotori felt a sense of peace after Rika signed the empty space next to her own name. It wasn't the fancy ceremony that had happened when Kotori signed it at six. The contract was a family one, traditionally held by the Sorano clan leader and any children born into the clan would sign it before starting at the academy.

Still, Rika stared in awe at the young ninja hawk that had responded to her chakra, stroking the feathers on his head. Tenjin was only a few months old and about the size of a regular hawk. But he would grow over time.

Ensui wrapped an arm around Kotori and held her tight to his side. His voice seemed unusually thick with emotion. "Thank you. Rika has always idolized you."

xXx

It was late by the time Kotori got home, emotionally wrung out from the day. She wordlessly curled up next to Kakashi on the couch. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her into him and providing what comfort he could. They sat there for a long time in silence, before tentatively breaking the ice with stories about Hinoki. She had been one of the jonin sensei for Kakashi's year and due to her close friendship with Minato, the two teams had been paired up frequently during the war.

Kakashi's chin rested on top of Kotori's head. His voice going quiet as he said, "I was there when Masato arrived. They wouldn't let him in to see her - Tsunade was still operating. Yamato and I had to restrain him."

Kotori could hear how much that single confession haunted him. His voice cracked and raw as he spoke. She couldn't say she knew the ANBU commander well. He wore the mask so often that it was hard to see the man underneath. But he had always had a certain softness when Hinoki was present. There were a few times he had interrupted them, bringing dinner to Hinoki after a long day or simply checking on her.

Kotori could only imagine how hard he had taken her death.

"I keep thinking it could have been you," Kakashi confessed. "If things had gone differently, if Tsunade-sama hadn't arrived when she did - "

"Don't do that to yourself."

"I know, I just - " he stopped speaking, shaking his head. "If I had lost you, I would have burned his entire organization to the ground."

Kotori felt a chill go down her spine at the steely promise in Kakashi's voice. She could remember all too well the last time he had destroyed an organization in anger over her.

"What did Tsunade-sama want?"

Kotori almost welcomed the abrupt change in conversation. But she dreaded Kakashi's reaction to hearing her new role. If he was worried about her now…

"Just handing off some of Hinoki's projects for the new Head of Internal Affairs."

"Already? Who is it?"

She could see Kakashi's stress over the Akatsuki threat and her, every time he thought she was in danger. She didn't want to be another burden on him. And more selfishly, she didn't want to have the argument that she knew would ensure. There would no doubt be a larger target on her back with her taking over Hinoki's role.

Her throat was dry, but she knew what she had to do to keep him from worrying. "No idea. After Hinoki - they think it's better if this leader is more quiet, operating from the shadows. So I passed everything I knew over to Tsunade-sama."

Kakashi's shoulders seemed to relax, although he said nothing. He stroked her hair as she rested her head against his chest. Kotori could hear his heart beating, a steady rhythm that brought her comfort. She only wished she could give him the same comfort he brought her.

Kotori hoped that she was doing the right thing by not telling him.

AN: Thank you everyone who continues to read, review, favourite. They always make my day and help me push forward with finishing this!