SONG: Blood brothers closer than your next of kin…Thick as thieves and the best of friends ~ Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan

Chapter 8

Scott:

Its Thursday night, the night before the full moon, and I'm traipsing around the woods with my best friend, again. This time though we are looking for any clues we can about the missing girl, Malia. Going to her house did no good. It's been eight years and I pretty much knew I wouldn't find anything there that could help. We did have a picture that Stile's snapped a picture of, of Malia and her mother and sister. It was hard telling the Sheriff that you got nothing from the whole thing. He was disappointed but understood.

Stiles and I decided to take a little trip to the crash site, where the car still was, and see if we could find anything. Stiles is worried about his dad losing his job. With all the things that have happened that we couldn't solve legally people are starting to worry that the Sheriff isn't living up to his title. So, we are hoping if we can close a few cases for him that it will get the town off his back.

Stile's is using the flashlight from his phone and I'm using my night vision to navigate. We found the site quick enough, now it was just a manner of seeing if there was anything there that we could use. Poking around the wreck we were only able to find an old doll that startled us both when it talked. We kept going until we found what looked like a den, wolf, or coyote I couldn't be sure. It didn't smell like wolf, but it was something. I held him back before we could go in. if it were a den for an animal, I didn't want to add our scents to it, the animal wouldn't come back if we did. I wouldn't invade its home like that. We searched for just a little over an hour before we gave up, promising to come back next week to check.

"Hey Scott?"

"Yeah?"

He didn't say anything else, and I turned around to look at him. He had stopped and was just standing there kicking absently at the sticks and leaves on the ground.

"what's up?" I asked going back to where he stopped.

"I uh, I talked to Lydia."

"Okay." Wondering why he was telling me. He talked to Lydia all the time.

"About me… and her. About us. If there would ever be an us." He finally said.

"Oh? What did she say?" I asked. He looked up at me searching for something.

"She said… that uh…" he cleared his throat. "That she doesn't feel that way about me. That we would probably not be anything more than friends."

"Oh man. I'm sorry." And I was. I know how much that had to hurt him.

"I mean I already guessed that anyway. It's been years now and besides a few moments we never really connected that way you know."

"Yeah but…"

"It's okay. I'm working through it. It's not so much an open wound anymore, more of a dull ache now."

"Well, now this frees you up to find the girl who will be it for you, right. I know crushing on Lydia has held you back. But when you are ready you will finally be able to find someone to truly see you as more and I'm sure you will be even happier than you would have been with her, right?"

"Yeah, right." He said starting to walk again. I followed after him. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you promise to be completely honest with me?" he asked stopping again and turning back to me.

"of course, man, you know that."

He nodded and then took a deep breath.

"Do you like her?"

My heart jumped into my throat.

"Who, Lydia?" I clarified even though, of course he was asking about Lydia.

"Yes, Lydia."

"of course, I do. We're friends. I like all my friends." I stated and walked past him hoping to put some distance from this impending conversation.

"Come on Scott, you know what I mean." He grabbed my shoulder turning me around. "Do you like her, like her? Do you have feelings for Lydia?"

I didn't want to answer this. I couldn't lie to him, not after promising to be honest. But the truth would cause problems.

"Stiles, do we have to talk about this now. Its late, we should get going." I shook my head.

"Just tell me Scott. The truth. Do you have feelings for Lydia?"

The seriousness in his expression told me he already knew, or at least suspected, but he wanted to hear it, to know for certain. I scrubbed a hand through my hair and sighed.

"Yes."

He tensed and gripped the flashlight tighter in his hand as he nodded once.

"Right. Okay then." He stalked around me heading back down the path we made while searching.

"Wait, Stiles."

"I got it Scott."

"No, you don't." I ran around in front of him stopping him. He looked at me with a deadpanned expression. "nothing's going to happen with Lydia and me."

"Really?" he questioned disbelievingly.

"Yes, really. Do you think I would do that to you? Do you think I would go after a girl that you have been in love with for years? You're my best friend Stiles, the closest thing I have to a brother in this world. I would never, NEVER, hurt you like that. I'm not going to go after Lydia."

"Never?"

"I wouldn't hurt you like that Stiles, never. Okay?"

His eyes searched for a lie in what I said but there wasn't one. I could bury my feelings or continue to. I have been for months now. I could ignore the hollow feeling whenever I think about not being with her, the crushing feeling of drowning.

"Okay." He said. We both continued on to the Jeep.

"When did it start?" he asked after we had been driving for a while.

"When did what start?"

"When… did you first realized that you may have feelings for her, what was the moment?"

I sighed and leaned my head against the window.

"Last year." I admitted.

"Your second full moon."

"Yeah."

"When you kissed her. I thought that was just the effects of the full moon coming." He said.

"It was, mostly. It was the full moon, and Allison and being a wolf and so many other things that played into that moment. I didn't really think anything of it afterwards, chalking it up to the breakup and the moon. But…"

"It was more."

"Yeah. But I knew how you felt, and I felt so guilty for having kissed her at all. So, I didn't really think anything of it after that. And I was trying to work things out with Allison because I really did love her."

"But you thought about it."

"Sometimes."

"And you still think about it."

"Sometimes." I admitted quietly.

"And now…"

A pregnant pause, saturated with tension filled the jeep.

"And now… my best friend is hurting because he just found out that the girl of his dreams just wants to be friends with him, and my feelings don't matter. Not one single bit."

Nothing more was said until he dropped me off and said good night.

I made my way into the house to see my mom and Isaac sitting at the dining room table drinking tea.

"Hey guys." I said tiredly.

"Did you find anything?" mom asked.

"We found the car with a creepy doll in it, and we found a coyote den, we think, but that's about it. We'll try again next week after the full moon passes. Isaac, you think you will be okay tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. But I'm still coming to the lake house just in case."

"Okay." I took a seat with them and propped my head on my arms on the table.

"Hey, what's going on?" mom asked rubbing the top of my head like she used to when I was a kid.

"You ever wish you could rewind time and stop certain events from happening?"

"Yes, all the time." Mom said.

"Half my childhood, I would love to just erase or change." Isaac commented.

"Yeah, I bet." I said sitting up.

"What event do you want to erase?" mom asked.

"My second full moon last year."

"why?"

"Because that's the moment that changed everything. I betrayed my best friend, hurt him, not that he knew it then, well not fully. But he does now."

"What happened on your second full moon?" Isaac asked.

"I kissed Lydia." I told them, staring off into space. Reliving it, loving, and hating it at the same time.

"No shit?" Isaac exclaimed.

"Isaac!" mom snapped.

"Sorry." He apologized.

"So, I take Stiles knows how you feel now." Mom said delicately.

"Yeah, turns out-. Wait, Isaac if you repeat any of this…"

"I won't I promise, not even to Allison." He held up his hands.

"Turns out that him and Lydia had the talk where she admitted she didn't see him as anymore then a friend. And then tonight, he cornered me and asked me if I had feelings for her. I couldn't lie to him."

"Good, you didn't need to lie. He needed the truth so he can start to move on." she said.

"Yeah, but you didn't see his face when I told him. He was so… angry and hurt."

"And he will be for a while, but he will process it, understand, and move on. it's a process honey. But at least now he knows so he can start to heal."

"So, are you going to go after Lydia, now?" Isaac asked.

"No, of course not."

"Seriously?"

"Yes seriously. Just because he knows doesn't mean I'm going to do anything."

"Honey."

"No mom, I've hurt him enough. Lydia and I have hurt him enough. I can't imagine what seeing us together would do to him. He's my best friend, I can't lose him."

"You won't." she said.

"You don't know that. As much as he tries to put on this tough vibrato and act as if nothing phases him for long, this could break him. His best friend and the girl he's been in love with for over how many ever years. I'm not going to pursue this. You told me once that teens fall in and out of love all the time. This is just gonna have to be one of those times." I stood up. "I'm gonna head to bed. Good night." I kissed the top of her head.

"Good night, Scott."

The next morning, I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I let the hot water beat against my skin and built up my resolve to not show my feelings today. We would go back to how were before all this became known. But first I need to talk this out some more, with an impartial person. I sent a quick text, dressed quickly, and raced out of the house before my mom and Isaac were up and moving.

I made it to school in ten minutes and was just parking when the red SUV pulled up next to me. Allison waved as she got out.

"what's up Scott, you said you need to talk."

"Yeah, lets head to the courtyard."

We walked in silence and sat on top of the concrete picnic table. My mind was racing on what to say, how to say it and why I felt the need to unload this on Allison. But after Stiles she was the closest person to me.

"Scott, what's going on?"

I blew out a breath, and just told everything. From the kiss last year to last night to my feelings and what I decided. Just everything. I told it all and it felt pretty good to be able to just talk without people pushing me to do this or that. Without worrying if I would hurt someone or someone would hurt me. It was an outlet for everything building up in me over the last few months. And Allison listened. She didn't interrupt or push her own opinion, she just let me talk until I finally ran out of steam and out of words.

"And now I'm stuck in this... turmoil. My head is telling me that this is the right thing to do, to not go for it to not put us all in this tense and awkward situation."

"And you heart, what does that say?"

"What doesn't it say." I huffed out a laugh.

"How do you really feel Scott. About Lydia, I mean. If you could listen to only your heart and nothing else, what does it tell you?"

I closed my eyes and let myself just feel for once, not thinking about what it could mean for anybody else.

"I love her. I love her so much that it hurts not to be with her. Not to touch her, kiss her, be with her. I want to be with her so much, love her, protect her. Make her smile and laugh, hold her when she's stressed or scared. I want to tear the world apart just to have her. I want her, Allison. I want her so bad." I opened my eyes to see Allison smiling brightly at me.

"Stop smiling like that." I bumped her.

"Sorry, I can't help it. I think you and Lydia would make an amazing couple. You two have a connection that is just, remarkable."

"But we can't. we can't have a connection. We can't be together. I can't… want her."

"But you do."

"But I can't."

She placed a hand on my arm and looked me dead in the eyes.

"But you do. Scott this isn't going to just go away. This isn't going to be one of those, fall in and out of love situations. I mean it could, but I don't think so. You didn't have nearly this much intensity when we were dating. Not to discredit what we had." She continued before I could object. "We were each other's first everything. First love, first real relationship, first times. We helped each other through some really rough times. But that's just it, we were each other's first, doesn't mean we would be our last. I don't know if you and Lydia would last or not, but I do think that you owe it to you and her to see."

I looked out over the courtyard and saw students roaming around. I saw Lydia, Stiles and Isaac heading in our direction.

"Thanks for the talk."

"Anytime." She smiled. Her eyes flicked to our incoming friends and her breath caught when Isaac laughed at something Stiles and Lydia were arguing over. I bumped her shoulder and she looked at me.

"You gave me advice, now I think it's time for me to give you some. But I have to be quick about it."

"Okay, about what?" she asked warily.

I looked at my ex-girlfriend, my best friend, and my sounding board. I knew she wouldn't do anything unless I gave her a push.

"Like you said we helped each other through some rough times when we were together. But we aren't anymore. I know you feel guilty over the fact that you want Isaac and he's a wolf and you believe the reason we broke up was because I was a wolf. But Allison, it's not the same. We didn't really break up because of the wolf/hunter thing. We broke up because it was time for both of us to admit that we were no longer right for each other. It's really okay if you want to be with him. You two fit together better than we did. So don't hesitate on my account or the werewolf's account. Just be happy and make him happy. That's all I want for you."

I waited for her to process what I just said as she looked over at a laughing Isaac, her face softening.

"Thank you." She gave my hand a squeeze. I nodded to her and watched her get up and go to him.