Hestia was the first to move after the incredibly tense silence. She cleared her throat, putting on a smile as she raised her hands in a placating manner.
"N-Now, let's not-"
"This is important, so please." 'Shut it' was unsaid, but it was certainly implied by Solaris as her eyes didn't move from Bell, still glaring at him. The expression was mutual, as he crossed his arms. He refused to believe what she said was what he actually heard. But the heavy air in the room, the awkwardness radiating from everyone, including the Astraea Familia, made this all too real.
"Why?" He asked, with a bit more heat than he was comfortable with. His captain in response exhaled in frustration, running her hand through her hair.
"It's obvious."
"Pretend I'm stupid then," Bell countered. Solaris threw her hands up in the air, unable to hold back a snarl.
"You're not, damn it!" Just as quickly, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose. Still aggravated, but not too aggressive, she put her palms together and pointed her fingers at him. "Alright, fine, I'll spell it out. Us. Them. Simple as that. They are monsters. Mon. Sters."
"Xenos."
Bell's correction came almost out of reflex. He didn't like that…generalization Solaris did. He knew she was better than this but she just wasn't right now. As if sensing his own growing anger, Solaris slapped the table, causing it to crack a bit.
"They can call themselves Saints of Goodsville, it doesn't change the facts! The only good monster is a dead one!"
"You didn't even meet them yet!" Bell yelled back. Horror and frustration rose in his heart, as he imagined the bodies of Wiene, Lido, Ray and the others, mangled and disrespected like that, with their formerly shining eyes dull and empty. However, Solaris saw none of that. All she saw was a foolish boy instead.
"I don't have to! I have enough common sense to know that this entire thing is insane!" She pointed outside the window. "Evilus is still running around! We got bigger fish to fry than socializing with those things!"
"This and that are two seperate things!"
"Oh please, nothing exists in a vacuum!"
"You sure pretend that it does!"
At this point, their throats began to hurt as their volumes rose and rose. Veins pulsed, the skin of their faces became red and their bodies moved closer and closer, tense and ready for combat. Sensing that something that should never happen could occur, it was Ryuu who stepped forward first.
"Liste-"
But before she could say anything, Alise put a gentle and calm hand on her shoulder. Shaking her head ever so slightly, she smiled wryly.
"Not our Familia, Lion." She nodded at Solaris, who cooled off at bit due to Alise's own calm aura. The Scarlet Harnel pointed her thumb over her shoulder. "We'll be outside."
"We'll be going too," Kojiro said, gently guiding Haruhime, who sent a worried look behind her before leaving. Hestia was the last to leave, stopping just before them. Then, she hugged them all of a sudden, causing the two to freeze up in surprise, followed by shame.
"Don't do anything you'll regret. Please."
With that final whisper, she left. Thus, the captain and vice captain of the Hestia Familia were left alone in the Stardust Garden, seated in front of each other. Solaris crossed her legs as she leaned back, tapping on the cushions impatiently. Bell, with his elbows resting on his knees, let out an exhausted sigh, lips pressed together.
"Look, I get it. They don't look like us. Honestly, I think we were all freaked out when we met them." He smiled weakly. "But…they are just like us. They laugh. They cry. They just…wish to be free."
When Lido smiled softly as he shared his dream. The motherly warmth Ray showed the childish innocence of Wiene. Even the dismissive air of Gros and his group. They were all too human to dismiss. But his words landed on deaf ears. Solaris merely scoffed, unable to imagine what he meant as she waved him off.
"That's nice and all, but that doesn't change the facts. Their dream is just that. A pipe dream. And I for one want it to stay one."
He gritted his teeth. He didn't want to yell at his captain. He didn't want to lose his respect for her. But she made it so difficult! He shot up, raising his arms in aggravation.
"Why?! Why are you so against meeting them?! Getting to know them?!"
"Because it'll bite us all in the ass!" Solaris shot back, slamming the table with her palm, the air literally heating up."This isn't like facing Evilus or facing someone that is picking a fight with us! In those cases, we had no choice! But here, we have one. A choice to stay focused! To not make ourselves the enemy here!"
Bell stepped back in surprise, needing a moment to process her words. It felt like it came entirely out of nowhere. Make themselves the enemy? Was just interacting with the Xenos such a sin?!
"What are you-"
Solaris raised her hand, taking a deep breath as the surroundings cooled down somewhat.
"You want to help them. That's the main issue. If it were just meeting them occasionally, I could stomach that maybe." She sent him a pleading look. "But you want to go down to hell with them."
"Don't just write them off like that!"
He was never under any illusion that it would be easy. Still, hearing Solaris write them off just like that as if it was an inevitable conclusion made him cut the air in front of him with his arm. Weren't heroes meant to overcome the impossible? To have faith when no one else had it? Solaris didn't seem to think so, or at least didn't seem to think like a hero. Instead she jabbed her temples as she leaned forward.
"Think, Bell, think! This isn't about proving your worth! This is about trying to change everybody's mind when it comes to monsters!" She scoffed as she sat back down on the couch. "What was that dream? Live in harmony on the surface?! Get real!"
Solaris Crozzo pointed her finger repeatedly at him, each time harder than the one before as if trying to stab right through him.
"Do you really believe that just by you trying hard anything will change?! That monsters won't just be monsters?! What will you have by the end of this, huh?! When the entire world stands against you because you wanted to protect some sapient beasts?!"
Staring at his captain, Bell was at a loss of words. He knew there was more to this but at the moment he was taken aback by the…worry she radiated. He expected she would be all over the prospect of fighting everyone. But he underestimated how protective she was of her Familia. That she saw Evilus as something she couldn't avoid, unlike the Xenos. And yet…Bell had to reject her worry. Reject her words, her questions that border to sarcasm.
"My Familia. Astraea Familia. Kojiro's friends from outside." Bell took a deep breath and smiled weakly. "You. I'd still have you."
Just for an instance, Solaris seemed to waver, flinching at his words. The Albion bit his lip, before shaking his head slowly.
"This isn't just about worrying about us though. This isn't about Evilus." He lowered his head, unable to look at her. "You…just refuse to give them a chance. That's it."
The anger radiating from Solaris caused the room to heat up once more. He could feel her opening and closing her mouth several times. He hated that he put her into this situation, as he grit his teeth. But he knew that him reducing her to that sentence angered her. But what angered her more was..that she was unable to refute him. The heat vanished and Bell heard a tongue click. Looking up, he flinched at the hurt in Solaris' eyes as she crossed her arms.
"Doesn't change my points."
"Doesn't change mine either," Bell muttered back.
"A monster is a monster. An adventurer is an adventurer." Weakly, the Captain twirled her hands, as if trying to show her point. "We are never supposed to mix. We are meant to kill each other. Simple as that." She pointed at herself. "You know what my Falna says, right? My ability?"
Bell blinked. Solaris sighed and turned around, pulling her shirt up a bit. He stared at the skill in question.
Ira Inferno: Increases fire based attacks effectiveness. Increases effectiveness against monsters and even more the higher one's emotional turmoil is.
"Killing monsters is what I'm good at. It's what I do. And it's what everyone does. I've killed so many of those suckers I know their weakpoints, their dangers, in my sleep." Her shoulders slumped as she shook her head, back still turned as she let her shirt fall back in place. "Am I supposed to hesitate now? In case some of them may be a 'Xenos'? Choose between my fellow humans and a godsdamned lizard?" She hissed through her teeth. "No. Forget it. I won't compromise who I am, compromise my life or yours just because you want me to feel bad."
She turned around, arms wide open helplessly as she pressed her lips together.
"Yes, maybe they deserve our pity. Maybe they aren't that bad. But that's just it. I don't care. I don't want to care. I got enough on my plate and forcing myself to see things your way is just…Too tiring." "We live in different worlds. They need a savior? They need an ally? They can find them somewhere else. But not me." When he didn't say anything, conflicted expression on his face, she growled. "Damn it, Bell. It's…It's…"
She lowered her head in the end and the words that came out of her mouth created a gaping pit in Bell's stomach.
"They are monsters. Isn't that enough?"
Solaris was just set in her ways. In her upbringing and her belief that all monsters were evil. It was as natural as breathing to her and thinking otherwise, as in to 'not breathe' was too mindboggling of an idea to her. And just like breathing, she didn't need to think of a justification. Didn't need to explain herself. Which was why, all things considered, the two of them knew that Solaris was coming short if this was a battle of wits. And yet, it wasn't a contest. It was a matter of belief. And her belief was just too strong. That realization caused Bell's shoulders to slump, his face falling. Seeing that, Solaris bit her lip as she looked away.
"Fuck... Why are you the one looking disappointed?" She turned to him, hands behind her head as her eyes were moist with a pleading look. "Why don't you get it?"
Bell could've asked the same from her. Thus, the two Familia members shared their point of views…and realized they were completely out of touch with each other. The gap between them felt oh so real, even though they were sitting so close to each other. For a while, neither said anything, letting the reality sink in that they didn't find a common ground. Eventually however, it was Solaris that stood up. Pacing around a few times with her eyes closed, she exhaled slowly before narrowing her eyes with a tired expression.
"Fine. I'll allow it. You can keep your relations with the…Xenos." She raised her hand before Bell could brighten up. "But I'm not going to meet them."
"Solaris-"
"Don't fucking push it, Bell," she barked at him. Rubbing her eyes she turned her back on him, pointing at the door. "This is insane. All of it. I like my world view as it is. Just…just go."
She heard the door open. The hushed talking. The resignation in the quiet voice of Bell. Then the footsteps becoming more and more distant. Solaris almost laughed at the hilarity of the situation. She was the captain of the Familia. And yet…the rest of her Familia stood against her. Kojiro and Haruhime followed Bell, not her.
A hand touched her shoulder. She glanced to the side and felt her heart become a bit lighter as Hestia smiled at her, a bit frail, but still genuine.
"Didn't go too well?"
"We have…a cease fire I guess," Solaris whispered, feeling like a child all over again. Her shoulders slumped as she fully turned to Hestia. "You agree with them, don't you?"
It was a credit to the goddess that she hesitated. Licking her lips, eyes conflicted. She shook her head, frustration in her voice.
"I think everyone deserves a warm home." She looked Solaris straight in the eyes with a deep frown. "But I won't ridicule you. Never in a million years."
Solaris sniffed. Wiping the upcoming tears, she nodded with a weak smile, one that Hestia reflected back on her own face.
"Thanks."
"But…" Hestia glanced at the open door. "What would you do when Bell decides to protect the Xenos against other adventurers?"
She didn't want to think about it. Even entertain the notion. But…just like Bell had his beliefs, she had hers. This was a mistake. A mistake that will burn them all up. So…even if she would become hated…even if she had to leave her post as captain…she still had a duty to fulfill.
"Do what a captain has to do. Save him from himself if I have to."
Her voice shook. She hated that weakness. But if Hestia noticed, she ignored it. Instead, she pressed her lips together and slowly shook her head at her first child.
"Please don't fight each other."
"I'll do my best, goddess."
"I know you do. Always."
They both knew that Solaris didn't promise anything. And yet, their smiles, fake and frail, were what they wanted the most as they shared the hug. When the captain left the house as well, Hestia collapsed on a chair, covering her face as tears welled up. Why did this have to happen? She knew that her Familia loved each other dearly and yet…all that anger and frustration…
"You did good, Hestia."
She looked up, seeing Astraea Familia having returned. The goddess didn't hesitate hugging Astraea, burying her face in the woman's stomach.
"I don't feel good."
Astraea gently brushed Hestia's hair, humming like a mother.
"It's their trial to go through. Yes, you could put your foot down and she would listen…but do you think that would be the best choice? Commanding her into compliance?"
That would have made things even worse. Hestia knew that. With a sniff, she sent an apologizing smile at Astraea, who waved the snot on her dress off. She turned to Alise and the others, giving them a respectable distance.
"What do you girls think?"
Alise glanced at the others. They shared a knowing look before the captain cleared her throat, scratching the back of her head.
"Well…"
But before she could lay out the Astraea Familia's stance on this, Lyra raised her hand. They all turned to the blind girl who took a deep breath.
"Before we talk about that, I got something to say." She turned her head. "Kaguya."
Hestia gulped, not liking the pressure increasing in the air, as the Senbonzakura narrowed her eyes ever so slightly.
/
Bell felt a bit empty as he walked through the streets of Orario. They met with the Xenos as soon as they could in the dungeon, in order to relay the…issues Hestia Familia were having. Lido's falling face alongside the others didn't feel very good, but they were sympathetic about it, stating they expected opposition. Gros and his group were a bit less diplomatic about it, scoffing and jeering at the 'obvious' outcome. And yet, Bell could feel the frustration from them as well. Wanting to help, Bell asked if they could have done anything to help. Fels gave them a report after all, about how Ikelos Familia was slowly but surely gaining on them, on the secret entrances. It led to the Xenos planning to get moving, as they apparently at several villages spread all over the dungeon. Yet Shirou and Lido declined. In Lido's words, he didn't want them to fight with Solaris any more than they had to and that their well wishes were more than enough. Shirou was more laid back about it, stating that it was not the time for the hero to arrive yet.
Which led to the now. Bell just wandering around, unsure what to do. His mind was in chaos. The Xenos. Solaris. Ikelos. Evilus. So many things to focus on and too little time to process it all. So lost in his thoughts, he didn't watched where he stepped and managed to collide with someone. He stumbled back a bit, but remained on his feet. An apology was already on his tongue but it died just as quickly. His eyes were wide just as hers. He didn't expect to see her. Her hair, gold and white, fluttering in the wind as she brushed it back.
"Aiz…" He whispered in shock. She flinched before looking away.
"It…has been a while."
"S-Sorry."
"No, I wasn't…watching either."
The air was too thick. Too awkward. 'It has been a while' indeed, Bell had no idea how to talk to her now! The last time they interacted was when she caught him on a date and had that scary look on her face before leaving with Kojiro! He felt his face heat up as they just stood there in the middle of the street, awkwardly fidgeting around. It was Aiz who broke the pattern first. She put a hand on her chestplate, took a deep breath and forced a weak smile on her face.
"I never congratulated you. You and your Familia. F-For the War Game."
Bell blinked. Didn't she? He could've sworn she…oh no. They never talked afterwards. After exchanging stories with Artoria and the others, they were immediately wheeled back to the Stardust Garden. There wasn't even remotely any time to talk. He lowered his head in shame. And right after Aiz and the others took the time to say goodbye before the training! Aiz sensed his embarrassment and coughed, realizing her words did not break the ice at all. But then something unexpected occurred.
She bowed to him. Bel stammered but before he could ask her to raise her head, the words escaped her mouth.
"I'm sorry."
"Huh?"
She raised her head, biting her lip as she grabbed her left arm.
"I…acted like you were a stranger. You didn't deserve that." She shook her head. "After everything you went through, you deserved some free time. Me blowing you off like that was…childish."
The question of 'why' was about to escape Bell's tongue. But he forced it back in the last second. He doubted she would share the reasons for her aloof actions. So in the end, he took what he could take, in this case a chance to return to normal with her. Or even a chance to get further. He blushed, remembering Ryuu's words, reinforced by the encouraging and imaginary whistling of his grandfather. Not the time!
"It's alright-Okay, well, not really, but…I get you have a lot on your plate. W-What I mean is…well, we all have our bad days!"
"It's not an excuse." Aiz smiled softly. "I do miss our sparring sessions."
His heart skipped a beat.
"R-Really?"
She nodded, almost shyly.
"Hm."
Mental Bell pumped his fist and hollered. A step forward! Yes! Reality Bell blushed furiously before laughing loudly, scratching the back of his head to distract his inner turmoil.
"Oh. Err, m-me too! I'm no Kojiro but I'd be happy to share pointers!"
"Hehe…" Aiz giggled, visibly brightening up. She nodded at him. "Kojiro is a tough teacher. But I'm learning a lot from him." She pointed at him. "It explains your own skill."
"Hahaha…"
With that, the two began to walk alongside each other, the air cleared. They made a stop at the potato stand. Slowly chewing on the food, he let out a sigh of relief. He needed this. Just…a distraction from everything. The fact that Aiz munched on her potato with small but fast bites was just the icing on the cake.
"What level did you reach with your Familia already?" Aiz asked all of a sudden. Bell blinked, having to think about it for a moment.
"Uhm, the thirtieth. We didn't go any further than that though. It's a bit difficult organizing enough help for the Deep Levels."
Skill wise there weren't too many issues. Their formation felt rock solid, with each of them covering an angle each. They trusted each other completely, entrusting their backs to each other. The only issue was the lack of supplies. Obviously Aiz knew that too as she nodded with a small frown.
"Hm. Skilled or not, few numbers make it difficult to advance unless you are on the level of Astraea. And even then, they don't get as much drops due to the lack of bags they can carry."
Their talks went on like this. Idle conversations about some details in the dungeon and its monsters that Bell didn't realize. Some weakspots not mentioned in the Guild's informations. It showed Aiz' experience as a veteran, despite her young age. Eventually however, their conversation died down, but left behind a comfortable silence as they sat on a bench together. It was then that they both began to fidget. Aiz was the first to open her mouth, causing Bell to give her his full attention as he leapt at the new distraction.
"...Are you and Ryuu…" She trailed off before looking away. "Nevermind."
Bell felt panic. Were he and Ryuu what? He needed more context! Was she actually jealous? But if he was wrong and asked her that, it would completely burn the bridge they painfully build up. So instead, he gave her an encouraging smile when she glanced at him. It only made Aiz look away once more. But at least she didn't just leave so he didn't offend her. However, with the silence, his thoughts went back to earlier the day. The sun was already setting, but the color it painted the city over reminded him of his captain.
He shouldn't approach this topic here. But…he couldn't help himself. Bell Cranel wanted to help the Xenos. Thus, he had to know what people thought about the concept. Needed a bigger sample. Because of that, he spoke up, slowly and with great hesitation.
"Say Aiz…"
"Hm?"
"If monsters could think and feel like us…what would you do?"
Aiz froze up, her eyes becoming blank. Bell knew in that instance he made a mistake. He felt a shiver down her spine. Her eyes were…it was like the light in them were replaced by black flames. As if she was lost in memories of a worse time. Her hand moved to the hilt of Desperate and for a single moment Bell thought she was going to strike him down. But then he realized, that her hand was shaking and was looking for the comfort of her own weapon. The Wind Princess took a deep breath, shaky and unstable.
"Do you know how Tiona lost her legs?"
Bell flinched. He connected the dots in his head and felt horrified. She couldn't mean…Yet Aiz confirmed his fears without hesitation as she stared into the empty space in front of her.
"It was a monster. A wolf monster. And a dullahan of sorts." She glanced at Bell, her eyes still uncompromisingly empty. Bell could swear her golden air was beginning to turn even whiter than before."They both could think and feel. Do you know what their emotions were?"
He could only shake his head slowly, unable to speak up. Aiz let out a scoff, so unlike her as she closed her eyes.
"Hate," she bit out the word. "Hate beyond what the dungeon usually brings out. They planned to inflict the most damage on us. They acted to hurt us in body and mind. They used the advantage we humans had to cripple my friend. My family."
She looked back at Bell, shaking her head. Her blank eyes glimmered with the slightest hint of life. But Bell leaned away, taken aback by the sheer disappointment behind them. Or rather…the anger and hate behind them.
"Monsters capable of feeling hate should be exterminated without question. Monsters that make people cry, make people despair, need to disappear. I don't care about anything else. No…" She took a deep breath and stood up. "Especially if they can think and feel like us, they need to die."
"I…"
She winced all of a sudden. Blinking furiously, her eyes seemed to return to normal. It was like she just awoke from a trance. Biting her lip, she took a deep breath. Then she smiled, forcefully, weak and frail as she looked at him.
"You are a good person, Bell." She turned away from him, the wind carrying her last whispers. "But don't be fooled. Please."
Thus, Bell was left behind. He sat there, motionlessly, before he covered his face with his palms. One step forward, two steps back. The gulf between Bell Cranel and Aiz Wallenstein, so painfully narrowed ever so slightly, widened with ease once more. Not only that, it showed him that even one of the girls he loved would never give the Xenos a chance. No, it was even worse than with Solaris. Aiz had her own personal experiences with them and it only reinforced the bias to kill all monsters. He couldn't imagine her giving a chance to Lido, no matter how disarming his words and smile would be. He looked up at the sky, his eyes glistening with tears.
What could he do? How could he possibly make their dreams true, the dreams of co existence, if the ones he loved were one of his enemies in this regard? Only the silent park answered him, as if mocking him.
/
AN:
In which if I were to give this chapter a title, it would be "The CEOs of Racism".