She didn't know if it was fortunate or not, that she decided to take her vacation days during this time. Then again, it was not as if she had much of a choice. Mia, as usual with her tough love, noticed how she was getting sloppy with her service. Thus, Syr, who had rarely missed any days in the Hostess, was forced to take a long break, using her saved up free days. And yet, here she was. Her hairstyle changed ever so slightly with twintails, glasses on her face, her body language a bit more stiff and mature compared to the silliness 'Syr' would radiate. In a corner of her own workplace, observing her target, her fated one.
Her Odr. Ah, how loveable he was. How bright and blinding his soul was. Radiant and pure white, it should hurt her eyes. Instead, it was mesmerizing. It was hypnotizing. It was captivating. She shivered, clutching her left arm. Ah, the excitement was getting too much. She had to contain herself. But each time she heard his songful laugh, his adorable smile…she could feel the chains, the restraint within her, screaming and groaning, on the verge of breaking. She took a deep breath, trying to contain herself nonetheless, for she was better than Ishtar. Better than anyone. Unlike a certain author's opinion, she was not a mere 'slut' to her own desires.
But it was difficult. To be just an observer, to be satisfied with just those things. She and Bell were in separate worlds, as if an invisible barrier kept them apart. She witnessed as Bell and his captain, the one who stood against him, who committed the great sin of staining his soul, if only temporarily, being chided by little old Hestia. Pouted at by the Renard and the Kaleidoscope of colors. She flinched when he entered her peripheral vision. At this point she adapted to Kojiro's soul, being able to withstand the urge to retch, but that ability was limited to mere glances. She frowned deeply. Then there was the other girl that accompanied the two in their meeting with the Legiones.
Aiz Wallenstein. A grand wind, the golden light, tainted by the black flame more and more. Though at the moment, it seemed to be at its weakest. Mostly because of Bell. She bit her lip, as the young elf fussed over the girl, while shooting flushed glares at Bell. Ah, why. Why couldn't she be in the Wind Princess' shoes? What did she have? What was different? And why couldn't she be like Ryuu?
The thought of her closest friend caused her to flinch, putting her palm against her right eye. Ah, Ryuu. Ryuu. Ryuu. Ryuuryuuryuuryuuryuu-
She missed her. Missed them. Her lovely friends, the heroines of justice, the ones who made her feel normal. Made her feel unrestrained, like a normal girl. The ones who enabled her act, her play, so that she could enjoy herself to the fullest. How she wished they were here. But they weren't. They weren't here. They would not serve as a bridge between the frail, weak, mortal minds and her own, hidden divinity. They were missing from the picture, and thus, missing from her own heart.
The chains rattled. She could hear creaking. She could hear even cracks.
Oh, her vision was getting blurry. It appeared she was hyperventilating. How shameful. She stumbled to her feet and left the Hostess while nobody was looking. Cutting a corner, she pressed her back against a wall, slowly sliding it down as she ran her shivering hand through her hair.
Maybe. Maybemaybemaybe…she should stop with the good girl act. The girls weren't here. Bell was here. Now was the best cha-!
"There you are."
She froze, the all too familiar deep voice piercing through her mist of madness. She couldn't help but let out a chuckle as the small form plopped down next to her, arms resting on his knees. A twisted pain blossomed in her heart. Was it guilt? Shame? Or was she so deep in the dark, that a small light was enough to be akin to a burning sun?
"My, meeting an innocent maiden in a dark alley like this? What would it do to your reputation, Mr. Andersen?" She smiled, her waitress act coming up without her intending to. And as expected, her natural beauty and charm, separate from her Charm, radiated from her, easily grasping her Mimir. And as expected…she received a scoff from him. It grounded her, dragged her down from the high heavens.
"Cut the crap. I can see your fraying sanity from miles away. Stay down and let's talk."
Shaking her head, she pushed herself to her feet, already feeling calmer now that the sharp tongue was distracting her.
"Again, dark alley. Surely there are better places-"
A hand pressed against her shoulder. She stopped, her smile wavering when she saw the glare behind the glasses.
"Stop trying to distract me."
"I don't know what you're talking about," she responded, tilting her head. Hans in turn pushed her down with ease, a level three above the power of a mortal body. She let out a grunt, rubbing her shoulder a bit.
"It's a real pity that your lie detector doesn't come with an inbuild lie creator." He pointed down at the ground."Sit. Your ass. Down."
She rolled her eyes, but decided to humor him. Thus, a pitiful existence between divine and mortality sat with an idealist author hidden behind rusted and sharp steel. For someone who was nothing like her other children, bright and wonderful warriors in their own right, none were able to keep her…calm like this. Usually it was quite the opposite, excitement and lust guiding her every step. And yet here she was…no longer hearing the chains rattling. Instead, they were gently stirring, as if slightly moving while they were asleep. As if sensing her soul calming down, Hans glanced at her, adjusting his glasses with a frown.
"I can see it in your eyes. The urge. The temptation. To just flip the board, with no regard for your surroundings."
It would be oh so easy. She has been holding back this entire time, on her own Charm. Many believed her to be on the same level as other goddesses of love. That she was 'merely' able to seduce and enslave souls. If only it were that simple. If only she was that weak. Then she wouldn't actually have to think about her own actions, how simple it would be to twist and turn everyone, rewriting history itself.
All because of her own Charm.
She let out an ugly laugh, unlike her or her. She raised a mocking eyebrow as she faced her Mimir.
"What, are you telling me I am regressing? Do you think so little of me that I am but a wild animal in heat without Ryuu and the others?"
"I didn't mention any of them." He crossed his arms, smirking for a moment as she pressed her lips together in frustration. Then his smirk disappeared as he gave her a pointed glare. "And don't try the passive aggressive act."
Hah…why was she even trying? Sometimes her child terrified her to her core. That insight that was equal or sometimes even beyond the gods. That was why the divine descended. To interact with mortals just like this, who kept surpassing expectations. It was a nectar she could never stop partaking in. She hugged her knees closer to herself as she closed her eyes. Imagining the greatest of them all, with the best of souls. The red eyes glowing with hope and determination, that smile, that damned smile.
"...I want him. His pure soul shines more and more with each passing day, with each passing challenge. How could I possibly stand back, watching all those harlots try to steal him from me? I want his smile. I want it for me and me alone. I want his body, mind and soul, all dedicated to me. Only me."
"He isn't yours," Hans responded, his voice eerily calm. Freya formed a fist as she giggled to herself.
"Not yet."
"He never will."
She felt her eye twitch. She glanced at him, his demeanor ever so calm. It was so much more aggravating than if he was being sarcastic, being a rose with thorns instead of being…being…
A mirror. She gazed into the reflection of his eyes, and couldn't help but look away.
"Is that a prophecy I hear?"
"A fact." He crossed his arms."A fact especially true if you treat him as this perfect panacea to all your wooes instead of a person you cherish."
Freya's eyes snapped wide open, her breathing hitched and her muscles tensing up. She didn't treat Bell like this, right? He was her Odr. Her fated one. The one who would…who would make her complete at last. He wasn't just some ointment to rub on her soul.
Then why did it sound so right, so wrong?
"Remember what I told you when we first met?" Hans asked, his voice dragging her out of the whirlwind he created himself, her mind calming somewhat. She scoffed at the memory.
"You insulted me."
"I meant after that."
"More insults."
Hans flicked his finger against her forehead, causing her to hiss at the pain flaring up. She focused on the pain, to distract herself. The author pointed at her with narrowed eyes.
"I said you are a goddess of love who desires something else entirely. Well, let me add something to that. You desire something else but you don't want to confront it because of what your mantle represents." He let out a heavy breath. "Your domain isn't who you are. It doesn't have to be your prison."
Whatever she desired was not wrong to desire, went left unsaid. She should feel grateful. To hear such words, such comfort. Instead, a disgusting boiling feeling crept up in her heart. It was akin to acid, to the molten earth itself. Ah, it was anger. At the audacity of this mortal. At the gall, to make it sound so easy.
He had eyes but could not see the heavens. That was what she was telling herself at least. After all…if it were that simple…then what had she been doing all those millenia? With a spear hovering above her skull, for the slightest of missteps?
"How nice it'd be if that would ever be the case. Alas." She licked her lips. "If I am not a goddess-no, THE goddess of love…Then who am I?"
"How the hell should I know?" She gave him a flat look, which he countered with an even flatter look. He raised his arms up in exasperation. "Contrary to what you delude yourself into believing, I'm not all knowing." He poked her against her heart. "All I'm telling you is that you should look hard into who you are. Nobody should run around with a blindfold. Lots of things can break. Including themselves."
She pressed her lips together. Then, she rose to her feet, staring up at the sky with a wistful expression.
"...it's hard."
A groan sounded from Hans. He stood up as well before he slapped her back a few times.
"Whoopdeedoo, welcome to the suffering that we call existing." He sneered at her as she pouted ever so slightly at his lack of tact. "Anything worth having or figuring out is painful. Get over yourself and get to confronting."
"What if you don't like what I turn into? What I decide on?" Would he become another jailor, watching her, ready to take her down? Was that the freedom he was offering? What if she didn't like who she was? What then? How was she supposed to live as a goddess of love if she was incapable of loving herself?
Did she even love herself right now in the first place?
Contrary to her own, distorted thoughts, Hans barked out a mocking laugh. Shaking his head in amusement, he pointed at himself with his thumb.
"Then I'll watch whatever trash fire you started from a far away distance and write it down so I can say 'I told you so' with a backed up source." At her wide eyed look, he spat to the side. "What, you think I'd be around for the fallout? No, thanks, I like to live."
A giggle escaped her. It wasn't funny. To imagine the worst case scenario, where she would get smited by her own hubris, her own madness. And yet…she couldn't help but laugh at the image. Of Hans Christian Andersen, eating snacks, on a mountain as he saw Orario burn, taking notes of the chaos. Just watching. Just observing, like always.
She knew him better though. He wouldn't merely watch. After all…what did he call himself again? Oh right.
He was a Heroic Spirit. He wouldn't just stay idle…and would reach out to her no matter what. That was the truth she knew, of her lovely Mimir. It calmed her heart as she adjusted her hair.
"Hmph…To be cursed with a child that bullies me so much. For shame."
"You consider it a blessing and you know it, you kinky cow."
Ah, there were the insults. She was starting to get worried. The two of them walked side by side, towards their home, unprompted with no words, yet their intentions synced up with ease.
"...what brought this on? It can't be just because your girlfriends left town," Hans muttered, with his hands inside his pockets. She smacked her lips, before letting out a sigh.
"A storm is brewing. I'm not the only one who noticed it." She could pretend that was the reason her mind was wandering, but that would be a lie. But as a factor? Oh, that would certainly be true. "I suppose…I'm afraid that if I do not act now, I might never get the chance."
The world moved even if the divine didn't. The narratives would progress, and they were converging. Convering into a Singularity that not even they, the deities of heavens, could predict.
"Acting sloppily will only hurt more." Hans slapped her butt, causing her to yelp. "Besides, they're strong. They can handle it."
"But will they come out unscathed? Untainted?" She asked in a quiet tone. The memories came to the forefront. The image of justice being broken, battered…Would they survive a second time? Would a blade once broken be broken without return? Hans shook his head, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. As if he was older than he looked. A weight, invisible to most, but not to her.
"Stop trying to want everything to go your way. As much as we want it to…the world isn't so nice. Not yet."
"But you still strive for it," she asked in a soft tone. Hans gave her an incredulous look.
As if her statement was akin to saying the sun was hot.
"Who do you take me for?"
As if it was only natural, that despite all his rough demeanor, he believed fully in hope. In the sweet dreams despite the cold reality surrounding him.
Ah, how envious she was, of such principles.