Once more, she was someone else. In this realm of unreality and dream, once more, she was in the body of someone else. Or rather, in the body of nothing. This time, she was but a witness. She saw a little girl, receiving a revelation of heaven itself. Blonde, just like her…yet so much more bright, so much more pure, than she ever was. It was almost blinding, seeing her grow up so fast…and her light only growing more radiant.
As she fought against injustice. Against a country, an army, bigger than hers, and pushing on anyway. She truly looked like a savior. But like all saviors…it didn't last long. Eventually, she would get betrayed, imprisoned and at last…executed. Burned alive. A terrible way to go. It would've been normal, if her light was extinguished in that moment.
Yet it never did. She maintained the goodness of her heart to the bitter end, not holding any malice whatsoever. She was a true saint. A true hero. Someone with pure goodness in their heart. It reminded her of…him. And yet, no matter how uplifting, how heartwarming and heartbreaking the sight of that individual was…it didn't change the fact that her most trusted ally didn't understand.
Why? Why didn't she scream in pain, in anger? Why didn't she curse the heavens, the humans that betrayed her? How could she still remain so pure, against all odds? No, it didn't make any sense. She had to have some anger, some hatred in her heart. But there was none to be seen.
Thus, in a time that didn't exist, that ally turned insane. In a time that was against the order of all, he created her.
The alternative to Jeanne D'arc. Someone who was capable of humanity…of hate. No, not capable. Someone…who was made out of hate. Hate for the world that created her. Hate for her original, for being so perfect that a human made had to create this Alter just to cope. Hate for heaven for the world giving birth to such imperfection. And what could she do, with that hate, then use it as fuel?
To burn them all. With her own flames. With the disgusting vermin, the dragonkin, heeding her every call and demand, as they breathed devastation across the fertile lands, scorching people into ashes.
Burn what they love. Burn what they cherished. Burn what existed. It didn't matter if they were directly responsible for her painful existence, it didn't matter if they were innocent or not. This hate of hers…just kept spreading. Kept growing. Because once the fire started, it would never, ever stood. She cackled, not out of any positive emotion, but out of a body reflex. Because it was something she should do, because if she was such a pitiful existence to erase all, she should at least enjoy it, right?
But there was no room left for enjoyment in her heart. For she…was an Avenger. So she kept the fire alive. She kept spreading the fire. Burned herself, until the bitter end. No, FOR the bitter end. For it would be the only moment where she would finally be rid of this hatred. Until then…
The fire kept burning and burning and burningandburningandburning-
And it would never sto-
A hand grabbed Aiz by the collar, shattering the vision of flames with one simple tug. Aiz doubled over, covering her mouth as she felt sick to her soul. She barely managed to prevent herself from puking in this mindscape of hers, taking deep and heavy breaths as she tried to center herself, to remind her that she was Aiz Wallenstein. Not…not that person.
She wasn't real. Just a made up image…So why could she easily imagine herself in that place, laughing in misery, surrounded by the burning of the world? She tried to distract herself, from that invasion in her mind. It was then that she remembered. That something…someone pulled her away. Her head snapped up, and this time, she could make out more of the shape that saved her last time. Clothes she was unfamiliar with, cloak, hat, all of it. His glowing yellow eyes shone with lightning, his greyed hair curly and reaching his shoulders.
And he was completely ignoring her, as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"Hmph. Once more…truly a frail of mind. It cannot even be compared to gold, such a soft soul..." He crossed his arms, frowning deeply. "Then again, instead of seeing the present, the past was witnessed this time…a side effect of the control they suffer…? Hm."
Aiz felt her teeth gnashing against each other, as frustrated bile rose up. She growled, pushing herself up to her feet. She pointed at the person within her, her lips quivering.
"Why didn't you stop me when I used... !" She stopped herself. She didn't want to remember. Her mistake, her actions, her hate, the wolf…all of it. She clenched her eyes shut to center herself, before opening them again. She saw the man turning towards her with a passive expression, merely raising an eyebrow at her. "You are real! You exist! In my mind, or, or, in my soul!" She tugged at her hair as tears formed in her eyes, the only gift left from her mother, tainted by her own disgusting existence. "So why aren't you stopping my hair from turning?! Why aren't you saving me from this if you save me from-from them?!"
The man silently stood there. Just staring at her, even as she started to hyperventilate harder and more with each passing second. Her eyes begged, for salvation, for penance. Seeing them…the man scoffed. He shook his head and sneered down at her.
"Foolish girl. I am not saving you. I have never saved you. I am driven by my own motivations."
Aiz froze. Her greatest wish, denied just like that. Her greatest fears, confirmed just like that. Nobody would save her, not even the one within her. The man leaned forward, looming over her. It was as if he grew in size.
"I, the Count of Monte Cristo, hate when individuals like yourself lose yourselves to something else. Nay...I despise outside interference. The mind belongs to the individual. No mortal, no monster, no god, can be allowed to taint another one's soul."
He raised a singular finger, showing a wide grin, more appearing like a feral animal than a human being.
"However. You ask why I am not saving you? I ask of you this then." He spread his arms open, the lightning crackling, blue flames flickering in his palms as he tilted his head ever so slightly. "Why should I save you from yourself?"
Aiz fell down to her knees. No, it had to be someone else. She was fine before. This…this couldn't be her. Yet the Count had no mercy, as he laid the truth bare, pointing at her with the flames of judgement.
"You will be tortured by yourself, Proto Avenger. You, child, who does not dare to dive into the endless abyss, yet keeps her back to the shore. A soul with no determination. No steel." He chuckled darkly. "The visions you see are not your future set in stone. But they show what we Avengers are. What you will, perhaps, one day become. A taste, as you will."
"I don't want to become like you!" She screamed, only for him to point at her chest with a scoff.
"If you truly didn't, this Black Flame would have been extinguished by now. Face it, for you shall only be broken if you do not."
"I…" She clenched her hand around her collar, feeling the burning in her heart, threatening to eat her up alive. "T-tell me how to control this then!"
The Count for the first time, froze in his tracks. He stared at her with wide eyes, as if he didn't expect her words. Then, his body began to shake, as he covered his eyes. Aiz could only blink at him…as he began to laugh.
"Fuhahahahahahahahaha! Control? Control?! Control, she says!" His laughter came to a sudden stop when he smashed his foot down on the ground, creating a shockwave that sent her on her back. "How utterly INSULTING!"
For the first time, the Count appeared to be genuinely enraged, as the flames intensified around him.
"Hate is no such fickle, such feeble thing, like a pet to make use of! Hate, is not something so small, so weak, that it will submit! Nay, true hate, the hate that fuels an Avenger, is not something one chooses! It simply is! It is a force of nature that forces our every action, that drowns us, until we are nothing but hate! What you desire to control does not exist within you! No, you are too far gone!" He ignored how Aiz recoiled, as he cut the air with his arm."Have you not paid attention to Jeanne Alter's emotions?! She put it best! All we live for are fleeting dreams, as we pointlessly aim our hatred at everything, until nothing is left! That final moment of ours, where all is gone, is the moment we, Avengers, live for!"
"No…"
She didn't want to accept it. That this was the only path for her. And yet…she couldn't imagine it. To destroy that thing that took everything from her, without the darkness within her. But she didn't want to lose everything. Not again.
If she wanted to win, she had to throw everything away. But if she wanted to be with the others…she would lose everything anyway. Was this even a choice? She didn't want to make it…so all she could do was weakly shake her head. The count huffed, turning his back to her.
"You are standing still in front of a cross road. If you do not choose the darkness or the light, you will not accomplish anything. Discard your hate and become free. Or leap into the depths of it, and ALL will be open to you. The 'good' and 'bad'."
"I…I…"
It sounded so easy. Just pick one or the other. But she, the greedy little thing, wanted the best of both. She didn't want to be alone. Neither did she want to lose the power that the black flame granted her. Seeing her indecision, the Count began to wander away from her.
"Truly a fledgling. This conversation is over." He snapped his fingers. The world around them began to twist. "Awake, girl. Awake, and figure out your answer."
"How?!" Aiz screamed, reaching out for him, to get a different response, a new path. Yet his form was already losing its coherency. In that final moment however, he fully turned around, showing his teeth.
"Hahahahahahahaha! Is it not simple, Proto Avenger?! There are only two things you can do, if you are truly lost with no idea what to do!"
He raised his finger up, still laughing like a lunatic.
"Wait and hope!"
/
Aiz' eyes snapped wide open as she shot up, her breath raspy. Immediately, she reached for her hair, before letting out a whimper. The grey color spread again. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to calm her beating heart, her burning lungs, before forcing herself out of the bed. She more stumbled than walked out of her room, her feet dragging her to the large office within the Twilight Manor. She just wanted to fall unconscious, to have a dreamless sleep…but duty pushed her on nevertheless. She opened the door with her shoulder, not even knocking. The executives and Loki, the latter blinking blearily, perked up, wide awake in this early morning. An admonishment died on Riveria's lips when she saw the disheveled, heavy breathing state of her protege.
"Aiz?"
She swallowed some bile that was rising up, but grit her teeth. Then, straightening up her back, she looked Finn dead in the eyes.
"I had another dream."
The captain frowned deeply before gesturing at Aiz.
"Take a seat. Riveria, get her something to drink."
It was times like these that she remembered how much she loved her Familia. They believed her, no questions asked. Yes, they had a previous case to go by, but Finn out of all people was usually more rational than this. Their trust grounded her, making those emotions she felt during her dream…more distant. More bearable. Thus, she focused.
Not on the hatred. The motivations. All meaningless facts were discarded. All she concentrated on to deliver…was combat information. Jeanne Alter's strength, agility, endurance, mana level. The way she fought with her flagpole, pure aggression guiding her attacks. The control over the wyverns she had, navigating them, not with strategy, but instinct guided by the will to kill. Last but not least…her flames. More specifically, that 'special move' she saw. A barrier, absorbing the damage of her opponents, before harnessing them into an attack that converted all that potential damage into her own flames.
By the end of her recount, Aiz' hand was shivering. Riveria gently grasped her hand and squeezed it, giving her a reassuring smile. Finn bit his thumb, eyes closed as he took in the information they received. After a small period of silence, he nodded at Aiz.
"Thank you, Aiz." He let out a sigh, leaning back as he crossed his arms. "We have to stock up on Salamander Cloaks then…" He bit his lips in frustration. "It'll be difficult, given the string of murders lately."
The mood plummeted at that reminder. Aiz frowned at Finn, who took the reminder the worse. Every spare moment he had, he would go out and try to support the investigations of the guild and the Ganesha Familia. Unfortunately, Finn was still the captain of the Loki Familia, so his spare moments were not many. The reason for his personal interest in the killing was only natural.
After all, if one's race was specifically targeted, wasn't it natural wanting to help? Indeed, there had been the sixth Pallum corpse found in a ditch this week alone, their heart pierced like some sort of sick calling card. To say that morale was at an all time low was an understatement.
"Sure puts a damper on the economy," Loki commented casually, patting Finn's head a bit. The Braver raised an eyebrow at her before rolling his eyes, but allowed the action anyway. Either way, with the information from her dream delivered, Aiz rose to her feet, about to excuse herself. But she stopped when Riveria's hand still held onto her, a soft look on the elf's face.
"Aiz, it would be better if you stayed in the re-"
She frowned before Riveria could finish her sentence.
"No."
"Aiz-"
She shook her head once more, pushing past the admonishment the elf was about to utter. Aiz knew she was being stubborn. That facing the dream, and the soon resulting reality, head on, was a fool's errand. It would only worsen her mental state. However…She put a hand against her chest.
"Bell and Lefiya are doing their best out there. So is Ryuu."
Ryuu in the Far East, dealing with an unknown entity that plagued Kaguya's family. Meanwhile, Bell and his Familia, alongside others, supporting Lefiya in her own personal task. She remembered how the elf begged for her 'selfishness' to be permitted. Knowing full well about the assault on Knossos being in its final preparation stages. Yet her desire to face Filvis head on, no matter the consequences…none of them could deny her. On the pessimistic side, Lefiya being with them meant they could distract Evilus more, force them to focus on two fronts instead of one. On the more optimistic side of thought, Finn openly admitted he prayed for their success, in taking down something vital, in whatever they had to do. Officially, they went down into the dungeon to investigate the reason Rivira went silent…Unofficially, they all knew they desired to look after the Xenos.
Aiz clenched her fist before forcefully relaxing it. No, they were not the enemies, no matter how wrong it felt. She remembered Lefiya's eyes after raising her head from bowing. Even if it turned out that her best friend was a traitor to the core, her eyes never wavered. It was something that Aiz felt was something to be envied that day. She nodded to herself once more.
"I'd hate myself more if I wasn't out there, doing my best as well."
"...Very well," Riveria muttered, still against it, but realizing she couldn't talk Aiz out of this. "But do not overdo it."
"I will try."
"That's the best we're going to get," Finn said with a light laugh, causing Aiz to blush a bit. They made her sound like some sort of delinquent. How mean. With a smile, he leaned forward, raising an eyebrow at her."
"Anything else to share?"
She did leave out one thing. It didn't feel relevant. She tilted her head thoughtfully. Then again, who was she to decide what was relevant? Thus, she made up her mind as she raised her finger in the air with a neutral expression.
"...I think a man was inside me last night."
The silence was deafening. She stiffened up, her lips quivering nervously. In that moment, Aiz felt this all too familiar feeling of pressure, of her heart squeezing together. It was the sensation…of a social faux pas. Ah, did she phrase something wrong again?
"I'MMA KILL 'IS RABBIT ASS!"
Loki's reaction was all she needed to know, that yes, she phrased it wrong again. Why was talking so hard?
"That Bell kid ain't even here, relax, Loki!"
"I WANT EVERYONE CHECKIN' IF HE AIN'T!"
Aiz felt her cheeks blush while Gareth tried to hold Loki back. Finn blinked a couple times while Riveria palmed her face in utter exasperation. Meanwhile, Aiz felt her face heat up more and more for no reason.
W-why did they mention Bell? She said man, didn't she? She never registered him as a man, more as 'friend' or 'rabbit' like Loki said or…She paused in her thoughts, looking up at the ceiling. Then again…
She felt her face heat up once more.
…He certainly grew in some ways, didn't he…? His muscles were much more defined since their first meeting…especially his legs…and he grew in height… Calling him a man wouldn't be wrong after all…Why did she never-
"Aiz, expand."
The Wind Princess blinked at Riveria's flat voice. She cleared her throat, her face still blushing.
"Hm? Ah, y-yes."
She ignored how everyone in the room zeroed in on her flushed expression. Instead she focused on talking about…the Count. Not that there was much to talk about, besides the philosophy and…that he existed in the first place. Suffice to say, none of them had any idea what this meant. Having another soul inside oneself…ironically enough, Kaguya and the others might know more about this once they returned from the Far East. From what she understood, Kaguya's sister was being possessed.
…Aiz blinked. Was she being possessed? She didn't feel any different lately, but perhaps…She shook her head. No, whatever entity was inside her was…rather passive most of the time.
"We really have to catch Hans and the others, and make them explain this crap," Gareth grumbled, causing Finn to raise an eyebrow at that.
"Why do you think he would be related?"
The dwarf gave him a pointed look.
"Why do you think he wouldn't be?"
"Touche."
Hans usually was the first suspect to ask about these kinds of things. But he usually avoided giving straight answers by virtue of being as polite as barb wire. It didn't help he was flat out not on the surface right now, following Bell into the dungeon as well.
Aiz couldn't help but smile. He sure had a way to gather allies around him…something she could never-
"Captain! Captain!"
They heard the rapid footsteps before he even slammed the doors open. Finn closed his eyes in exhaustion before putting on a professional smile.
"Raul, it's early, what's with the shouting?"
For some reason, it was not reassuring him, as the level four still hyperventilated as he pointed down the hallway.
"T-T-The guild is here!"
"About the murders?" Finn rose to his feet, his interest piqued. "Did they find a suspect?"
"Yes! And it's you!"
Everyone else in the room snapped their heads towards Finn. The Pallum himself blinked owlishly, before slowly pointing at himself.
"...Ha?"