Moonlight in Forks
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.
Sam and Bella
"I just came to talk." Bella said nervously.
"To talk? Did Jacob send you here?" Sam demanded. "Can he not speak for himself?"
"Jake doesn't know I'm here."
Bella's concerned gaze quickly darted to Emily, who was supporting herself against the kitchen counter, her breathing labored.
"Sam, I don't think Emily is feeling very well."
Worry immediately clouded Sam's eyes. "Emily." He murmured, and so much guilt saturated his voice that Bella had to turn away.
Bella felt like she was intruding, as she watched him cross the room in one stride and take Emily's face in his wide hands. He peered down into his imprint's eyes, before pressing a gentle kiss on the dark scars scoring her right cheek.
"I'm okay." Emily said weakly. "Its just a touch of morning sickness."
"Did you go to see Sue like I suggested?" Sam said, his tone softening.
"Not yet. But I will." Emily jerked away from him, returning to dishing out the muffins on the platter. "I have to get these ready for when the boys finish their patrols."
Bella found it odd that Emily referred to the imprinted souls who made up the remainder of the pack as boys.
"They can take care of themselves." Sam reached out and caught Emily's busy hands in his, pulling her close again. "You should lie down and rest. I'll call Sue, she can come here and see you."
"I'm fine, Sam." Emily insisted.
"No, you're not." Sam leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "Go and lie down for a while, Emily, please."
Emily didn't have the strength to resist the weight of his concern. With one hostile glance across the room in Bella's direction, she finally did as he asked and headed to their bedroom. The last thing Bella heard was the sound of a light click as the door closed behind her.
Silence descended. A stillness like a storm suddenly quelled.
Bella felt awkward. She regretted intruding now, wondering why she had ever thought it would be a good idea to talk to Sam or Emily herself in the first place. She was interfering in something that she didn't fully understand. Her intentions had come from a good place. She had seen how much Jacob was suffering and just wanted to fix it, instead she had just made everything worse.
Since Emily had left, Sam still hadn't said anything. His head was bent, hiding his expression, his broad shoulders drooping, almost as if there was an unbearable weight pressing down on them.
Bella finally built up the courage to speak. "I want to apologize, Sam." She winced at how loud her voice sounded. She tried to quieten it. "I didn't know that Emily was pregnant, or how fragile she is. If I had, I would never have intruded."
At her apology Sam raised his head. There was such a look of hopelessness on his face that Bella was taken aback. Normally Sam was an expert at keeping his feelings hidden behind an expression of indifference. It was shocking to see his emotions on such raw display. She didn't know what else to say or how to react.
It was Sam who eventually rescued her. "Let's go outside." He said huskily, leading the way.
Bella hobbled after him more slowly, finding it difficult to keep up with his longer strides with her leg in a cast. As she emerged into the dreary light, she saw Renee's car parked a few feet away. Bella saw her mother throw her a look of concern through the side window, but thankfully Renee stayed put.
It had started to rain while she was inside the house. Bella hovered under the eaves of the porch, staring out at the glistening droplets as they coated the leaves on the trees, looking like millions of sparkling jewels. Bella breathed in the wetness, the fresh breeze lightly caressing her skin.
Sam leaned against the side of the house, his gaze far away, the rain drenching his skin and hair. He seemed lost in thought, his dark eyes deeply troubled.
Bella began to wonder if he had forgotten she was even there. She folded her arms around herself self-consciously, loth to be the one to break the silence again, but she felt she had no choice, as Sam seemed too lost in his own head to bother.
"I should go?" She said, framing it as a question.
Sam seemed to rouse himself then. He ran his fingers through his shorn hair, scattering the water droplets clinging to the wet strands. The look of hopelessness on his face indicated his low mood, like his brain was trying to construct a thousand plausible reasons that someone else was to blame for his problems. He stared at Bella, his lips parting as if intending to say just that, but he quickly clamped them shut again, as if realizing he needed to own his feelings and find the path to get himself out of it.
"Sam." Bella began cautiously. "I don't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I think you need to speak to someone. Emily is clearly not well. I think its more than just morning sickness-she's painfully thin – "
"You think I don't know that." Sam broke in. "You don't think I don't see and feel how much she is suffering?"
"Of course, you do." Bella felt like she couldn't say anything right. "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying sorry." Sam snapped.
"So – "Bella bit the word back as it came automatically out of her mouth. She saw Sam's lips twitch and she fought a weak smile of her own.
"She won't listen to me." Sam confided suddenly. The brief glint of amusement in his dark eyes was quickly replaced with despair. "I've tried to get her to see Sue, but she keeps putting it off, convinced that its just a touch of morning sickness."
"How far along is she?" Bella asked.
"I'm not sure-a few weeks at most." Sam ran his fingers through his hair again in frustration.
Now that Bella looked closer, she could see the purple bruises under his eyes, a sure indicator he hadn't been sleeping properly. She had seen the same shadows under Jacob's eyes. It was what had prompted her to act in the first place.
"Is there anyone Emily can talk to if she won't go to Sue?" She wondered if Emily was putting off consulting the Clearwater matriarch because she was Leah's mother. "Maybe one of the other imprints? Kim perhaps?"
Sam snorted derisively. "Kim is too caught up with her own issues."
It was a roundabout way of saying that Kim was oblivious to anyone's needs but her own. It was the first time Bella had heard even a slight criticism of any of the other imprints. It was shocking that it was coming from Sam.
"What about Rachel then?"
Sam gave her a dark look.
"Maybe not." Bella conceded, thinking of Jacob's sister. Rachel wasn't much better than Kim, always focusing on her own wants and needs, instead of others. "Do you want me to try and talk to her again?" She offered.
"Thanks, but no." Sam looked at the darkening skies. The rain was still falling steadily without let up. "I'll handle this myself."
"You shouldn't have to." Bella pointed out cautiously. "If you're struggling, there is support out there, Sam. You just have to ask for it."
Sam's brows drew down into a fierce frown. "You talk of support? Where was the support from Jacob when he split the pack?"
"I am not going to debate that with you. Are you sure the pack splitting isn't really about your heart being split?" Bella replied calmly.
Sam stiffened, his frown turning into a furious glare. "You don't know what you are talking about!"
"Jake confided in me about what you told Jared to say to Leah." Bella refused to quail under his harsh stare. "Why would you play on her emotions like that if you still didn't feel something? It can't just be guilt. If it was, you would let her move on, but you keep pulling her back."
"You have no right to say such things!"
"I have every right. I may not be Jacob's imprint, but I will support him just the same as if I were."
"That's right, because Jacob always gets to choose. He gets to choose when he becomes Alpha, he gets to choose who he loves…" Sam immediately clamped his mouth shut when that last bit slipped out.
"And you didn't? Is that it?" Bella dared to ask.
"I stepped into the role of Alpha because Jacob was too busy chasing you around to fulfill his duty. So why should I relinquish it now, just because he's decided its time? It's the only thing I've got left that is mine. I won't have that taken from me like everything else." Sam seemed to instantly regret his outburst. He scowled, returning his attention to the rain, that drummed on the roof of the little house like wild maracas.
The air was so brittle it could snap, and if it didn't, Bella thought she might. Neither she nor Sam spoke for a while, what was there left to say? Platitudes weren't going to cut it right now. All Bella had wanted to do was to try and ease the terrible burden of worry from Jacob. But all she had done was increase it.
"I should go." She said eventually.
"Yes, you should." The flame of Sam's ire had burnt out as soon as it ignited. He sounded tired now, weary. "I need to check on Emily." The defeated looked on his face was enough to break even the hardest heart.
"I'm sorry you are going through this alone, Sam." Bella said as she turned to leave. "You need help. So does Emily. Especially now that you have a little one on the way. If you would only just talk to Jake, I'm sure that some compromise could be made. A compromise that would work for both of you."
Bella said no more, but hobbled slowly toward her mother's car. Renee looked at her curiously as Bella eased herself carefully into the passenger seat, but she refrained from asking any questions.
"Ready to go, baby girl?"
"I'm ready." Bella agreed as she pulled the seatbelt across her body and snapped it in place.
As Renee started the engine and pulled away, Bella looked out of the passenger side window at Sam. The last impression she had of him was of a defeated young man, stripped of all his choices, floundering in a sea of discontent.
A/N-thanks for reading!