Moonlight in Forks

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Revelations

It didn't take long for Sam to track down Jacob on First Beach. His scent was easy to follow. Jacob was still in deep discussion with Quil, working out the best way to break the news to Sam that Quil wanted to leave and join Jacob's pack. Both were taken completely by surprise by Sam's sudden appearance right at the same time they were talking about him.

Sam didn't bother with pleasantries. "Bella needs you." He said to Jacob.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth Jacob was gone. He didn't bother saying goodbye to Quil, or asking Sam why Bella needed him, he just rushed off, his bare feet leaving deep indents in the wet sand as he tore off at a fast sprint for home.

Quil climbed hastily to his feet, feeling a little ambivalent now he was face to face with his Alpha. "What's going on?" He asked Sam cautiously.

Sam studied Quil appraisingly, already knowing that something was up. Guilt was written all over his face. "I think I should be the one asking you that." He countered.

Quil held his unwavering gaze for a moment, feeling even more uncomfortable and awkward. He had always gotten on well with Sam and had always considered him a good friend and responsible leader. He didn't want to leave the pack due to anything that Sam has done. He felt it was time for a change, he wanted to mix things up a little, but most of all he missed his friends.

Sam seemed to sense what was going through his head. Out of all the pack, he had always found Ateara easiest to read. Quil hid nothing. He was always open and honest, the joker of the pack, but since his imprint with Claire he had become more reserved. Caring for a child was a serious business and it had forced Quil to mature quicker than he would have otherwise. This had saddened Sam. Quil's levity and amusing pranks had always managed to lighten the load, especially when there was tension among the ranks.

"You don't have to worry, Quil. I know what you want." Sam assured him as he cast his gaze to the horizon. The air was pregnant with the smell of salt. He breathed it in as he watched the rollers of gem-blue waves dash the sand.

"You do?" Quil questioned, the tension in his body easing.

"You want to join Jacob's pack."

Quil nodded slowly, amazed at how relaxed Sam was being about the whole thing. "Its nothing personal, Sam."

"I know." Sam murmured; his eyes still trained to the horizon.

"And I didn't want to pressure you…I know you've had troubles of your own – "

"Emily has left me." Sam interrupted him before he could go on. "She wrote me a Dear John letter; she's not coming back."

"What?" Quil's mouth went slack. He was completely astounded. He didn't think it was possible for Emily to just leave like that.

As far as anyone knew it wasn't recorded in any of the old legends about what would happen if a wolf was rejected by his imprintee, though it was always assumed to be virtually impossible by the elders. The imprinter was deemed to be the "perfect match" to the imprintee—he will be anything she may want or need, making rejection unlikely.

"And are you okay?" Quil continued when he got over his shock.

Sam's brow furrowed slightly as he thought through his answer. "You know, Quil, I think I am. I'm remarkably okay, actually. I feel…I don't know…relief."

Quil didn't know what to make of Sam's response. He wondered how the break up would affect his imprint with Claire. Was this the reason why Linda had been so reticent when he had asked if he could come and visit her daughter? He didn't know what to make of it. Or how he actually felt about it. For so long now Claire-Bear had been the focus of his entire existence, but when he thought about it some more, he realized that he had been perfectly at ease with her absence. He had missed her in a vague kind of way, but it didn't impinge on his life like he had expected.

"What are you going to do now?" He asked Sam.

Sam finally turned his head to look at him, his expression contemplative. "I don't actually know, Quil." He admitted honestly. "And, for probably the first time in my life, I'm actually okay with that."

Being so immersed in his talk with Quil, Jacob had lost track of the time. He was supposed to be having lunch with Bella, but it was already way past midday. Then Sam had appeared, and the first words he'd uttered were-Bella needs you.

The words set Jacob's heart racing immediately. He took off without waiting to hear more. Bella needed him. That was all that mattered. After the untimely death of his mother, and the subsequent decline in his father's health soon afterwards, Jacob had learned to control panic as a child. It gave him a survival advantage in a dog-eat-dog world. He was for the most part oblivious to stress and fear. It enabled him to survive better in the short term, to be able to cope better with the increasing strain of responsibility that was put on his shoulders. Even more so after the twin's desertion. That's the way it was... but it shouldn't be.

However, when it came to Bella needing him, Jacob found that he had no control at all. Panic was biological, and from what he could see there were two kinds, though strongly interwoven, naturally. The first was a kind of intense worry that it was possible to override, that in this panic, painful as it could be, he was able to keep on functioning. It was the second kind which was worse. The second kind was when his brain became so bombarded by fear that his actions became erratic and escalated, overriding rationality. Jacob had experienced both kinds in his life, both had been to do with Bella.

He guessed there was a level three too, when it was possible to become so incapacitated by panic attacks, making a person unable to make any choices at all, when PTSD takes over, when the brain fails to function in any normal fashion. He had felt this when he phased for the first time, his panic and fear that he had hurt his father during his transformation, and that now he was a monster he had to stay away from Bella. That panic was burned into his brain. It would forever haunt him, no matter how deep he tried to bury the memory.

These thoughts flew through Jacob's mind as he ran, feet kissing the land. His body was made to travel at speed, his breathing steady, heart strong – soon he saw his house in the distance. His panic eased off when he saw Bella sitting on the top step of the front porch, waiting for him.

Jacob grabbed Bella as soon as he reached her, lifting her into his strong arms and hugging her tightly to his body. In the short time since he had left the beach, it had started to rain.

Even under the porch roof, the occasional gust of wind blew the cold rain in on them. Droplets of water sparkled on Bella's hair and skin like perfect little diamonds. Jacob set Bella carefully down on the floor just inside the door and kissed her, running his warm hands up and down her upper arms to infuse some heat into her frigid skin.

"I am so sorry, honey." He apologized, raining more kisses over her face. "I was at the beach with Quil and I lost track of time. And then Sam turned up and said you needed me. I panicked and rushed straight back here."

"It's okay, Jake." Bella put her fingers over his lips to quieten him. "Stop stressing."

"But I should have been here. I let myself get distracted." Jacob castigated himself. He wouldn't be reassured. "You're all cold and wet. You should take a hot shower." He ran his fingers through the wet strands of her hair, looking guilty.

"You're all wet, too." Bella pointed out.

"But I'm not cold, and you are. You should put something dry on at least."

"So should you." Bella reluctantly peeled herself away from him and led the way into the tiny kitchen. "Then we can eat and I'll fill you in on what happened."

"Should I be worried?" Jacob asked as he rested his hands on her shoulders as he followed close behind.

"No, I've dealt with it for now-well, Billy anyway-as for the rest you'll have to make up your own mind on what you want to do." Bella sighed.

After her hot shower, Bella strolled into the Black's front room to find Jacob, wearing a fresh pair of cut off sweats and a t-shirt, sitting on the old couch waiting for her. She sat down beside him and began to fill him on everything that had happened: from her revealing talk with Leah, to the Dear John letter from Emily to Sam, and finally the heated argument between Rachel and Paul which had led the former to flee to her twin in Hawaii.

"Billy was devastated when Rachel took off." Bella pictured the older man's ashen face. After checking Billy's blood sugar levels and making sure he took his insulin, she had made him something to eat, before insisting he lie down and take time to rest. "The last time I checked in on him he was asleep."

"Damn Rachel and Paul!" Jacob cursed bitterly.

He already resented his sisters for leaving him to pursue their own lives and interests, essentially forcing him to care of his sick, wheelchair bound father alone. It wasn't that he had minded taking care of his dad, he enjoyed his father's company, it was that they never bothered coming home to visit or share the burden even during the holiday season. He was left to cope with it all by himself.

And then Rachel suddenly decided to finally come home after graduating from college, imprinted with Paul, moved Paul in, lording it over her family, making their life a misery and pushing him out of his childhood home in the process. Then to add insult to injury, she had taken off again without so much as a word to him, pushing their father to the brink of despair, when she decided she didn't want that life after all.

"Rachel has always been selfish." Jacob raged. "But this is a whole other level of selfishness. I can't believe she could be so callous." Then the guilt set in. "I should never have moved out. I'm always the one who makes sure that dad takes his meds on time. I thought Rachel would have least done that much. What if you hadn't been here to look after dad when she just took off? Anything could have happened to him."

"Hey, Jake, come on now. I won't have you blaming yourself." Bella hugged him, as if she was trying to act as his human shield, to let him know-body, brain and soul-that she was with him. "Some things are impossible to control. You weren't to know Rachel would just take off like that. She is not like you, Jake. She's not built that way. Just focus on the people who really matter and don't waste your time and energy on getting mad at the people who don't deserve it."

Jacob smiled despite himself. "Didn't I tell you that you were the wise one?" He teased.

Bella laughed quietly. "Growing older means being wise enough to know when to let things go and let things be." She said, stretching against him to make herself more comfortable.

"That's true." Jacob agreed, reaching out and mussing her hair.

"Hey!" Bella complained as she smoothed the messy strands back from her face.

After that they sat in contemplative silence for a while. Outside the rain had finally stopped. It was peaceful. Quiet.

Bella loved the quiet days, the ones of still telephones and silent clocks. She loved the random sounds that came sailing in the breeze; the birdsong that came so sweetly, almost tangible, as if it were softly spun sugar. On those kinds of days, she would sit, calm and collected, her thoughts untroubled. It was on those types of quiet days, just like this one, that ideas came as natural things do - from the sunshine, rain and earth.

"Jake, don't you think it's odd?" She mused.

Jacob was caught up watching the changing colors in her hair, from a vibrant red to shiny chestnut, lit up by a tiny shaft of light shining in through the window. "What's odd?" He asked distractedly.

"It's odd what's happening to all the imprinted couples-first Sam and Emily, now Paul and Rachel…and then there's Quil…. they're all fractured or broken. I wonder why that is." Bella added, finally grabbing Jacob's attention.

A/N-thanks for reading!

Theories anyone?