My life? Why would anyone want to know about my life? Even as the darkness around me finally reaches the point of recognition these thoughts dwell in my mind. A part of me didn't even want to know why there was only darkness. I found myself wishing I could stay like this. It's quiet, with no worries or responsibilities. No one to shove me around or tell me what to do. Yes, the darkness is quite attractive to me. It was as I felt myself become unstable as if I was being jostled around that threatened to push me to leave this darkness. This safety. "I think she's coming to." A woman's voice sounded far away and I could only look up through the darkness to see a small dot of light as if it were miles away. Should I? I ask myself to hear my own voice echo within this solitude. I don't even know who that was. Am I supposed to leave here to see? Why would someone I don't know be here? No one ever visits so why?
I felt compelled to walk towards the light with those thoughts in my mind but before I could even hesitate or think twice about my decision, the light was suddenly right upon me. As if it knew I wanted to turn back to the darkness. I was then enveloped by light and I felt myself jostle around again. Only this time I was sitting, slightly angled as if I had fallen asleep somewhere, and slid down. What I noticed first wasn't the blast of freezing cold air in my face, or the all too welcomed chill lingering on my exposed skin. I noticed the sound of horse hooves clicking against something hard and uneven matching with the jostling I was feeling. How can there be horses nearby? Scratch that. WHY would there be horses nearby? The sound was familiar yet still foreign compared to what I have gotten used to from having moved to a rather large, in my opinion, city when I was but a teenager.
Opening my eyes I nearly hiss at the brightness of the world around me before I blink a few times in order to clear my gaze. I notice a light-colored wood at my feet which are covered in white cloth almost like socks. A brown rope-like substance that stood out against the white caught my attention. Yet as I went to sit up so I can further investigate, I found I couldn't move my hands. I move my gaze to my hands and notice the same brown rope around my wrists causing my skin around the bindings to turn a shade of red from the irritation. Moving my left arm towards my right so I can bend my elbow I find something wooden is behind me. So I rest my elbow on top of it and use it as leverage in order to sit up straight.
Once I accomplish this feat I take in a slow breath. I'm tied up, somewhere cold and I hear horses. WHAT THE HE… "It's good you are finally awake." The woman's voice comes again this time from next to me cutting into my thoughts. Raising my gaze I turn my head to my right and I take in her odd attire. Brown leather with a blue sash, sporting blue over her skirt and brown boots. Her hands were bound just like mine though from first glance it doesn't look like her ankles are bound as well. Why would they not tie her legs? She was a rather petite blond with green eyes, but even as we sit here I can tell like so many others if standing, she would be taller than me. In my eyes, I don't think I am exactly short standing at a whole five foot three and a half. Never forget about that half, it means I'm almost five foot four.
"What…" My own words are cut off as I look around to finally see the bright white snow on the ground and snow-covered trees. We were sitting in some sort of horse-drawn wagon and as I look up towards the grey sky I almost close my eyes as soft flecks of snow land on my face. I've always been good with cold, I could run out into the snow wearing nothing but my exercise bra and shorts then roll in the chilly substance. The only downside to it all was that even when the sun is blocked by the clouds the world is all too bright for my eyes at first. Once I've been out in it for a while though the brightness wouldn't bother me as much. The problem is, I was always drug back inside before I could get used to the brightness. "Where are we? What happened?" I finally manage to tear my attention away from the snow to look back towards the girl.
"You don't know?" She questions before she sets up a little straighter, her eyes softening upon me almost as if she was pitying me. "I thought I didn't recognize you. There was an Imperial ambush meant to catch us storm cloaks off guard that I guess you got caught up in. All of us here are either storm cloaks or otherwise involved with them." Tilting my head I finally take notice of the men around us intently listening in on our conversation. There were two of them wearing dark brown leather-looking clothes with a blue sash or something over the top just like the woman. I believe from what I know of medieval times it would be leather armor sporting the colors of their king… or leader. But that can't be correct right? "As for why we are here… We are meeting our end. Sovngarde awaits us." Huh? What's that? But that's impossible.
"Do you mean we are going to die?" I question containing the inner fear and unsettling anxiety. Surely she's just messing around with me. If not, however, why would anyone want to know my feelings on the matter? Why is it even bothering me anyway? I wanted to stay in the solitude of the darkness that I guess was brought on from my unconscious state. Why am I feeling fear over her words of death? What is Sovngarde anyway? It sounds like something I may have either heard or read about before but I can't quite place it.
"It's the chopping block for us." One of the unknown men speaks drawing my gaze to his blond hair. My eyes widen in his direction before I could properly contain myself. "Oh…" I look back down at my hands falling silent as the carriage or whatever takes us to our end destination. One thing is certain, however. These people look weird, have weird sayings about death. Wait no. This whole thing is weird. As if horse-drawn wagons will truly be pulling me towards my death out in the middle of nowhere. That's a laugh. It's highly unlikely, maybe I'm dreaming. Though…. I found myself hesitating on my initial thought. For just in case I'm not I need to get these bindings off me. Openly nodding I hear them give a sound of question as I use my feet to sit back as far as I can before bringing my feet up to the bench I am sitting on. With the annoying rope around my wrists, I couldn't maneuver quite the way I wanted to but… pushing my left arm as far as I can towards my right I bend my arm painfully back, as my fingers mess with the knot in the rope at my ankles.
The rope kept slipping between my fingertips causing me to frown and close my eyes in my concentration. Once the first loop was undone my eyes shoot open and I nearly shout with glee as it gives me more rope to work with. By the time I manage the last loop my left arm was throbbing painfully in its protests. I move my feet back to the wood flooring below and wiggle them enough that the rope finishes unraveling around my ankles as I roll my left shoulder and bend my arms a bit in order to work out the pain. "What…" The man who has stayed silent this entire time speaks as I hold my arms out in front of me before pulling my elbows out and tucking my forearms down. Rolling my arms so my hands were now towards my chest with ease. That wasn't the hard part. No, the hard part is what I need to do next. And here I thought undoing my legs hurt. Moving my hands up towards my face pulls on my elbows in a new way as the tendons scream in defiance to what I am currently putting them through.
Latching onto the knot with my teeth I try to ignore the taste of leather, sweat, and whatever else that foul taste was. "How can you?…" The woman next to me utters quietly as she watches me work at the knot holding my binds in place. She really needs to shut up, if these guys that have us see me… well I don't even want to think about what would happen then. As I heard some sort of wooden doors slide open on protesting hinges I finally work out the last loop. Though the binds were wrapped tight enough that simply untying them wasn't enough to completely loosen them. Un curling my arms I breathe a sigh of relief as the pressure is taken off of my elbows.
"Can't everyone tuck their arms like that?" I finally manage to say as I slowly begin to wiggle my wrists. Her eyes widen but I can see her give a slight shake of her head. "Really? I thought it was nothing special." I shrug but when the carriage comes to a stop I nearly feel my heart lodge in my throat. We stopped! But then that means… Oh no. I whimper as we are told to get out of the carriages and I force myself to stand. Coming to the edge I look down at the step with a raised brow. If I try to step down right now my binds will come off as I fall. In case I am not going to die right here I need my binds to be kept secret. So I can escape when they aren't looking and maybe help out the others that are tied up too. I'm not exactly understanding what is going on but I know… No one and I mean absolutely no one deserves to be tied up like this. I can barely tolerate handcuffs that cops use even though I know most of those who are arrested actually do deserve to wear them for the officer's protection. Leaping off of the wagon I find that the socks I'm wearing do little to cushion the impact. Successfully shooting pain through me beginning at my feet and radiating up my legs. The uneven ground causing new waves of pain as I step forward to stop behind one of the men that were on the wagon or carriage with us. As if hiding behind him will save me, yeah right. The woman stops next to me and tries not to glance down in my direction as I peek out from behind the man towards the two in front of us. Clad in dark brown leather with red trimming their skirts… men in skirts? What the Fu…
"Step forward as I call your names." One of them speaks as he holds what looks like a quill and parchment in his hands. This is soo weird… My best friend at home is a Wiccan and she showed me some of her stuff before. She keeps a quill, bottle of ink, and a couple of rolls of parchment for reasons I am unsure of. So I guess you can still buy that stuff but even so… why would they be using them? Looking away from the two weirdos I glance toward the carriage or wagon... Let's just call it a wagon, next to us. There were four men in that one. Two blonds then two wearing the same sort of outfit as me. One with brown hair and the other… Is that what people would call strawberry blond? When in the light you can see red flecks mixed in with the golden yellow tendrils? If it is, that's so cool. I wish my hair was like that! I wonder, if I ever get home, if I can find hair dye that matches? Ever since I first got into high school I had begun dying my hair. At first, it was only to make the black mass dark enough it would shine blue in the sun but then as I got older I've been changing the colors. I do not allow my hair to be cut since I started bleaching it. It seems the longer it is the slower it grows so I have to use less bleach the next time I dye. The man with strawberry blond hair was tall, nearly taller than the others. Though I couldn't see his face he definitely looks younger than them. Probably early twenties while the others could be in their late 20s to early thirties if not older. Curious, why are we the only ones that are young in this group? Even those on my wagon couldn't be any younger than thirty.
"Eyes front!" I heard someone yell drawing my attention away from the tall muscle-bound male in order to look around. It was then I find myself the only one left standing in my line facing the two in brown leather. One was glaring at me as the other was looking down at his parchment again. "Step forward." The one who had yelled, to begin with, commands. His voice was firm and tense as if he was ready and more than willing to have me killed just for not listening to him. Stepping forward I find my eyes meet the ground at my feet. Why does everyone have to talk to me like that? What the hell is going on anyway? Where am I? What is this place? How did I get to… wherever the hell the ambush took place?!
"She's not on the list, what do we do?" A gentler male voice reached my ears nearly beckoning my eyes to his form. "Captain!" The other one hollers out in that same angry tone, leading me to believe that tone is normal for him. "Yes, what is it?" A woman's voice reaches me filled with annoyance and irritation. Is being angry the only emotion these people feel? "We have a prisoner, not on the list. What do we do?" The first man's voice softens slightly as if showing he was afraid of what that woman would do. Then again he did call her captain so it would explain a lot. Captains are leaders of their own forces but they themselves have leaders they need to report to and obey. I don't know much about the military but that much I understand. Anything else like gunnies and sergeants, privates, and well everything else really I do not understand. It's all too complicated. "She goes with the rest of them, just like the other one."
"I am sorry." The gentler male voice speaks but this time I let him draw my gaze from the ground. Making contact with his warm brown eyes. "What is your name?" My name? I give him a tilt of my head as I look back through my memories…. Why is it… I remember most of my life but not… MY NAME?! What is going on?! Did these guys hit me too hard or something?! Why don't I know my name?! "What's wrong?" Shaking my head I look down as I feel tears starting to prick against my eyes. Okay, my mom's name is…. My dad's name… My best friends are… I can picture faces but not their names! Why can't I remember the names of anyone?! "I…I…" Quick think of a name. Make one up until I can remember! What is it that guy who was friends with my brother used to say? Don't show weakness. Not sure what showing weakness is but I'm pretty certain that not knowing my name would be one of them. "Twilight" I mutter before my eyes widen. Why the heck did I just say Twilight? It's the hour between night and day, or day and night. Where the sun is just over the horizon sending the first touches of shadows over the ground as the sky lights up in gentle colors just before the darkening stretch that is night. It's a beautiful moment that only happens twice a day but the one just before the night is full of more mesmerizing colors. "Twilight. I am sorry." He whispers just before my shoulder is grabbed and I am pushed towards the half-moon-like circle filled with the people in brown leather and blue sashes.
Looking around I notice the strawberry blond near the front but the other one dressed like the both of us was nowhere to be seen. What happened to him?! Did he escape?! It was then a tannish white lump caught my eye on the rocky road we had ridden in on. He's… He's dead! We really are going to die! It was then I heard a sickening noise and something rolling coming from in front of us. Hesitantly I move my gaze as I feel my breath come quick and my chest constricts on the verge of a panic attack. My eyes widen seeing the body knelt over a block of... Cement? Or stone. Blood squirting out from his shoulders where his head had just been. Oh, my Gawd! Ohmyohmyohmygawd! We are going to die! I'm going to die! "Next the Nord in rags." A dark-colored woman says wearing metal plated armor as she eyes the strawberry blond guy. Eyes that held no emotion for what is happening here. No feelings passing her gaze for sentencing people to their deaths or the fact of watching a huge metal ax-like thing slice their heads right off! What are these people?! Are they, psychopaths?! Showing no remorse for something so horrible would be the perfect definition of one. They are murderers! Did they abduct me just to kill me?! I saw the strawberry blond guy walk forwards until he is met by another man clad in leather who grabs his arm and yanks him the rest of the way to the slab, before kicking his knees out from under him. Forcing him to hit the wet stone hard. No! I. I. I. I can't watch! Shutting my eyes I find myself holding in a pant that didn't wish to be held. My heart thunders in my chest painfully. I really am going to die! There was suddenly a weird animal-like call echoing over our surroundings. "What. What was that?!" Someone questions as I keep my eyes squeezed closed. "Don't worry about it. It was nothing. Finish up." The woman captain orders just before another echoing screech-like call happens.
Raising my gaze I look up towards the stone building just as a huge black… Dragon! Lands on top of it causing the ground to shake. Knocking my legs off of under me. Pulling my hands apart sends the leather rope flying as I catch myself before my back could bounce off of the ground. A rock digs into my palm but as I stare up at the huge black dragon, I could feel my blood run cold and I couldn't feel my skin breaking against the rock beneath it. Heat washes over me as I watch the dragon spew fire from its mouth directed at the people around me that are running in a multitude of directions in fear. "Archers!" Someone calls just before I watch arrows fly into the air towards the dragon just as it takes flight. Its wings sending gushing wind around us feeding the flames that had begun burning things around us. D. D. Dragons… they aren't supposed to be real! But that was definitely a dragon! Is. Is this the start of the apocalypse?! The world is going to end by the actions of dragons?! I. I need to get out of here!
Finally, my self-preservation instincts kick in forcing me to push myself to my feet as the dragon's calls echo around me and I hear people screaming as they are shot with flames. Taking a step sent pain through my feet again causing me to look down at my sock-like foot coverings. I need clothes if I'm going to run. There are hot embers everywhere, a dragon set on killing everyone wherever the hell this is, and people that had just been trying to kill me! Looking around frantically I notice crumbled walls and burning wood everywhere. Houses that once stood untouched billowing black smoke into the air. Bodies were the only thing around me right now as those who had been trying to kill me move to confront the dragon. Idiots. Running over to the nearest body I notice its brown leather and red clothes showing it was one of the ones that had been trying to have me killed. His skin was charred black and the smell coming off of him was enough to nearly make me puke.
Reaching out to grab his boots as I choke back bile something white catches my gaze. The hell breaking loose around me muffles to dull incoherent murmurs as white words enter my gaze. armor, misc, food, weapons, Imperial. "What the fuck!" It was then an odd memory of an anime I had only seen once comes to mind. I think it was called Sword art online where people had become trapped in a game. I think.. If I am not mistaken this is what it looked like on that anime. With hesitating hands, I reach up and touch the Armor word causing it to flash before opening a new tab of white letters. Light imperial armor, light imperial boots, Imperial cuffs… what the hell are these?! As the echoing roar of the dragon reaches my ears I look around the words. Take, Take all, Equip, Equip all, Back, Exit. I'm not much of a gamer but this seems pretty self-explanatory. I touch Equip all and suddenly I feel the weight that hadn't been there before. Looking down I nearly cringe seeing I was now wearing the same armor that man had just been wearing when he died. Clicking back I look at the other options before clicking equip on the weapons and take all for the entire inventory. I suddenly felt like I am fifty pounds heavier. "Ugg.." If this is a game then… How am I even here?! What the hell is going on?! Exiting out of the now-empty tabs I look around. There were people inside another stone building just down the road from me. The building I was still in front of was crumbled enough I couldn't get inside to hide from the dragon.
"Duh, knowing what I do from all those fiction books I've read. You wouldn't want to hide inside anywhere a dragon can get his head into or even bring down with its massive weight. Doing so is just stupid. It was then I saw the dragon land on top of another house and push his head into the stone building just down from me. I could see remnants of the flames shoot past the open door. See, stupid. Looking around again I feel my heart stop. That's the only building I can get into! Except for the one, the dragon is on and its weight is making the roof cave in! I could hear a boy screaming from inside that same house just as the dragon takes flight again causing more of the roof to fall through. With my heart in my throat without much thought I run towards the house. Leaping over the burning steps and into the door. Looking around frantically I begin to cough from the falling debris and building smoke. "Kid!" I manage to yell out as I hold my left arm over my face to try and block some of the falling debris.
It was then I seen something cowering in the corner next to a weird-looking bed that was made up of a normal wooden frame but the mattress itself was just hay or something with what looked like animal skins on top. The echoing roar of the dragon pushed me forward towards the balled-up kid. Grabbing onto him I suck in a breath seeing his dark brown hair, his light skin covered with ash and light burns. "Come on! We need to go!" I yell over the noise around us. The boy's frightened gaze meets mine just before he stands the rest of the way up and nods. "Stay close!" That being said and done… I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this predicament. I think I'm stuck in a game and that would mean the people around me are all NPCs right? But what if they are just like me? Somehow being brought from the real world into this one? Yes… the risk would be too high to let this boy die. There is a fifty-fifty chance in my mind that he's a real person and I don't know if dying here means we die for real.
Quickly glancing around I nearly shout with glee seeing a wall had fallen apart opening a way for us to run through. Moving my grip from the boy's arm I take hold of his hand firmly, but not hard enough to hurt him, and start running as fast as his legs can carry him. If I remember the wagons didn't move far after hearing heavy doors open So there should be a way out of this place somewhere nearby. Once we leap through the gap in the wall, I look around noticing heavy wooden gates just a couple more houses down but there were boulders from fallen buildings in our way. ShitShitShitShit! Looking towards my left I notice a small walkway with someone already dashing in that direction. His brown and red armor nearly made me cuss as I realized that's the only way I can go. "Come on!" I needlessly shout to the boy as I run in that direction. But almost as soon as we were hidden in between a stone building and what I believe used to be a house the huge dragon lands on top of the already crumbling wood. A sudden burst of heat forced me to grab whoever was in front of me and pull him back towards me with my right hand as I push the boy against the house with my left.
The guy made a startled choking sound just as flames engulf where he had just been standing. Breathing heavily once they face me and the dragon flies off I release him and look back to the boy checking to see if he's okay. The look on his face shows only fear so that means he isn't hurt right? "This way!" The guy yells before leading us from between the buildings and into another burning one. Only this one was missing its roof. Seeing the flames everywhere I stop long enough to grab onto the boy and pull him up onto my back just like I used to do with my niece. "Hang on!" I shout just before I feel him grip his arms just below my chin and wrap his legs around me. His face burying into my long hair in order to shelter his skin from the heat told me he was ready. Running through the flames as quickly as I could I feel the heat of the burning wood threatening to melt the leather protecting my sensitive flesh. The flames nearly brush against my cheek just as I bolt through what used to be the door of the house. The guy pauses in the road to glance back at us.
"We need to get to the keep!" He shouts pointing through the rest of what I am beginning to believe is a town and my eyes widen. "Are you insane!" I shout back at him causing his newfound steps to falter and his gaze to shoot back in my direction. "Running through a burning town into a stone building with not only a boy on my back but a dragon flying through the air hell-bent on killing everyone! Is not smart!" As I watch his mouth open to voice his thoughts I point ahead of us. "There! There is a gate. We need to get out of here and find a place to hide!" He turns his head to follow where I was pointing then nods without an argument. Taking the nod as agreement I hook my arms around the boy's legs and take off running towards the open gate. A huge shadow covers us forcing me to let go with my right hand and grab onto the guy in front of us. Yanking him in between two fallen buildings as I look towards the sky. Why is it during times of crisis brains go into overdrive and force us to do things out of our character? Adrenaline. Amazing, I've never felt it before. I feel almost twenty-foot tall and bulletproof but my mind is also telling me that I'm not and I need to play it safe. When the dragon passes overhead to spew more fire in front of a huge stone building we take off running again. Leaving our cover to run through the open gates. It was only now that I realize there may be snow around us but over the horizon shows that the snow wouldn't last for long. Just great. I'm going to be scared, tired, exhausted, and hot. The call of the dragon reawakens my mind and pushes me forward. Running down a hill I usually would prefer walking to prevent myself from falling. Instead, feeling the arms tighten around me pushes me to go faster. Running past the guy I force him to keep up with me as he runs behind me. Just as the snow ends and warmer weather begins I veer off the road and into the trees finding a large boulder that the ground had begun to fill around. I drop to my knees behind it keeping my grip on the boy.
The man ducks in with us breathing as heavily as I was as he watches the skies around us. It was only now that safety being at hand allows my mind to veer more off of the dragon. Seeing the man has shoulder-length brown hair, muscular but not too muscle bound hair-covered arms. Defined calves with hair growing every which way between his skirt and boots. Why the hell are all the guys wearing skirts? I tilt my head before he finally turns to me. "What's your name stranger?" He questions as his gentle dark eyes fall upon me. I felt my bottom lip quiver with the reminder that I don't remember my name. Should I tell him I don't remember? Or should I tell him the name I gave the other one? Wait what am I even thinking about? I already decided I would go by that name until I remember my real name. "Twilight." I whisper to him showing less courage than what had gotten me out of that town and away from the horrifying scene. "I'm Hadvir. As soon as the dragon is gone come with me to Riverwood. My aunt and uncle live there and they'll put us up for a while." I look down, questions pulling themselves to the forefront of my mind as my breathing finally steadies out. "Why?" I whisper the first part of all of my questions. "Huh?" He makes a sound of question as I see his booted feet turn more towards me. "Why… Why was I tied up, why was I in that wagon, why am I here, Why… Why even though I was called a prisoner are you being so nice to me?!"
Against my will, my voice flows louder and louder with each question as I jerk my gaze up to meet his own. Gentle emotions flow past his eyes just before he turns his head away from me and towards the sky again. "I can't answer all of those questions just that. You saved my life, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have made it out of Helgen alive. I owe you my life. All I can offer you is a place to stay and rest for now, but I…" He pauses as he looks back towards me his dark eyes meeting my own in the momentary silence. "You aren't like the others. I can see it in your eyes. Your soul is pure for someone that isn't a Nord." My eyes widen before he pushes away from the large boulder and moves to the road. I found myself standing and grabbing onto the boy's thighs. Lifting him higher up on my back as I can feel his silent sobs wetting down the hair at the nape of my neck. As I walk down onto the road to Hadvir, I pause to look towards the blackened smoke of the town he had called Helgen. The dragon was nowhere in sight but the scent drifting on the breeze towards us made my stomach turn. The smell of burned flesh mixed with wood wafts around us. So many died there today. Who knows how many of them were like me and are possibly dead for good. "You... You can put me down now… I can walk." The boy's quiet words reaches my ears and I could tell from Hadvir's pained gaze he had heard the same heart-wrenching emotions I had. Slowly I kneel back down as his legs unhook from around my waist and his arms loosen around me. When his weight was completely off of me I stand and look down at him. Placing my hand on top of his head I force his eyes from the ground up to me. "When we get to this, Riverwood. First priority is to send word to any living relatives you have and let them know you are safe." I watch the boy's eyes widen as he reaches out and grabs onto my leather armor. "Please…" He begins as I watch tears begin to form in his eyes. Forcing a gentle smile down to him in order to try and soothe him even if just a little bit. "Don't worry. I won't leave you until someone comes for you. You won't be alone." The boy's eyes light up as his tears seem to be quenched for the moment even though no smile reaches his lips. "What's your name?" I ask him gently.
"Haming. And my only living relative is my grandfather. He lives in the mountains near Riften. His name is Froki Whetted-Blade." I give him a nod and take his hand again. "Then I will find some way to get word to him. Let's go." I finally look towards Hadvir who had a gentle, knowing smile as he watches me. I raise a brow but move forward as he turns around and starts walking in the direction I believe to be towards Riverwood. "We may meet Imperials on our way, just let me do the talking." He informs me as I look ahead of us. "At least you said it. I didn't know what I would do if more of you showed up and tried to finish what was started."
"Don't worry, what happened in Helgen was to be kept quiet until after Jarl Ulfred's death in order to proclaim victory and celebrate the end of the war. So no one else beyond who was in Helgen knows about what was happening and well... You know what happened to them." I nod and gently squeeze Haming's hand in order to comfort the boy I know is seconds away from breaking down. Poor kid. Losing his parents because of a dragon. Well losing his parents period, must be devastating. A more painful time than even what I am going through…. Wait… I'm stuck in a game right? I don't know how to get home… I'm free, right?! I'm free…. But I'm somewhere I know nothing about. I'm not a gamer, I don't have time to play games I'm usually busy being ordered what to do and having normal.. -chores- expected to be done. If I take my time I'm usually in a lot of trouble for doing so. Is this unknown place really better than home?