Chapter 16: Loo Loo Land Part 1

One morning in the Goetia manor, Octavia is fast asleep in her bedroom. However, she wakes up to hear the sound of smashing.

And then she hears her mother, Stella scream in pure anger, "I can't believe you slept with an Imp, IN OUR FUCKING BED!"

Octavia lets out a long groan with an annoyed and a bit disturbed expression as she sits up.

Then she hears Stolas, her father shouting, "It was unexpected! I didn't have time to go to a motel!"

Soon, Octavia grabs her earbuds and places them on her ears. Then grabs her Hellphone.

Then hears Stella screaming again, "A motel?! Like a fucking PLEBIAN?!"

She turns on her phone, and presses the play button on the screen. Soon, she plays a song called, 'My World is Burning Down Around Me.' Then increases the volume to turn out her mother's screaming.

Moments later, Octavia is dressed and is walking down the hall.

As she walks down the hall, a potted plant has been thrown to the ground. The plant is lying on the ground as the vase is shattered and dirt is scattered. Octavia then walks over the smashed remains, and into the kitchen where her parents are having a heated argument.

"You want to fuck this one, TOO?!" Stella angrily shouts as she grabs the Imp servant and violently tosses him at Stolas' direction.

Stolas quickly dodges.

Stolas quickly says, "No! Of course not! And I told you before! I didn't even do that to him, honest!"

"You are a goddamn embarrassment! I'm not spending another moment looking at your pathetic, IMP-SUCKING FACE!" Stella shouts in rage and storms out of the room.

She continues to shout and scream as she smashes more potted plants. One even got thrown in the kitchen. Stolas sighs in exhaustion until he notices Octavia sitting at the table with a box of cereal and a cup of coffee.

Stolas turns to see his daughter and happily says, "Good mooorning, Octavia! Did you sleep well, my owlet?"

"Was that a serious question?" Octavia comments after drinking her coffee.

"Mm-hmm... What's that you're listening to?" Stolas asks, skeptic, and opens the fridge.

"This song is called My World is Burning Down Around Me. It's by Fuck You Dad... It's a band," Octavia says,

"Oh! How charming..." Stolas replies.

He then takes out a piece of zebra meat and feeds it to a massive potted plant that looks like a large white venus flytrap with eyes on the bottom close to the roots. After feeding it, Stolas then pets the plant.

"Is she still mad about what happened

"So, you two done screaming for the day?" Octavia asks and takes a sip of her coffee.

"Um..." Stolas reluctantly says, but soon hears his wife let out a scream of rage and an object shattering.

He then has an idea and walks to Octavia with excitement, "You know what I haven't done in a long, long time? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land?"

"I'm not five anymore," Octavia says, not interested.

And yet, Stolas happily says, "You always were so happy when I took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, just the two of us!"

"I'd rather kill myself," Octavia comments.

"There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security," Stolas says.

Then picks up the phone that is being carried on a platter by the servant who is bruised and battered.

"Security for a theme park?" Octavia says, confused.

"We are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies!" Stolas says.

Octavia says, under breath, "Our money, maybe."

"Speak for yourself, Princess," Stolas says to his daughter.

He dials on the phone, "Now, I'm calling the only man who can protect us."

"And who would that be?" Octavia questions.

"Sarge of course. And you get to hang out with your old friend, Loona," Stolas says.

"Well, I suppose so," Octavia says.

Then mutters, "At least I get to hang out with Loona. "

Then Stolas says, "Besides, being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know."

Octavia groans and pulls her hat down over her eyes, feeling so embarrassed.

Meanwhile, at I.M.P HQ, Sarge is in the office as he polishes his weapons on his desk. There haven't been many clients so Sarge is busy fixing up his gears in case there's work to be done. Just then, he hears his phone ringing.

Sarge then picks up the phone and answers, "Hello?"

"Good morning Sarge. How are you doing this morning?" Stolas asks over the phone.

Sarge sighs and says, "I'm fine, Stolas."

Then Stolas says, "I have a special request."

"Let me guess, you need us to become your bodyguards again," Sarge suspects.

"You are correct. I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land and I was hoping you and your brave colleagues would accompany us. And maybe you can bring Loona along so our daughters can have a little playdate," Stolas says.

Sarge sighs, "I suppose that means we'll be guarding you while you go have fun with your daughter. Well, we haven't had that many clients today so yeah, we'll take the job."

"Excellent. I'll see you at the palace, and remember to take Blitz with you, I'm sure he'll love to see it," Stolas happily says.

"Yeah, sure," Sarge says, and hangs up the phone.

Moments later, Sarge walks out of the office and into the lounge. There, they see Berry and Loona reading magazines, Moxxie, Millie, and Razor are doing their target practice. Randall is doing stuff on the computer. Blitz is reading a book.

Sarge says, "Listen up everyone, I've got a call from Prince Stolas. We've been assigned on bodyguard duty at Loo Loo Land."

Confused, Moxxie says, "Loo Loo Land?"

"Loo Loo Land?!"" Millie shouts with excitement.

"Alright Loo Loo Land!" Randall and Razor shout in excitement.

Drew and Berry happily cheer, "Loo Loo Land!"

Loona groans, "Loo Loo Land… really?"

Confused, Blitz asks, "Loo Loo Land? What's Loo Loo Land?"

"It's an amusement park in the Greed Ring," Drew says.

Millie happily says, "There are so many rides and games, and a lot of places to eat."

"Really?" Blitz asks, interested.

"Loo Loo Land's okay, but Lu Lu World is a lot better. At least that's what everyone thinks," Randall says.

"I actually used to work there as a mechanic before working for the company," Razor says.

"You used to work there?" Berry asks, taking an interest.

"Yeah. It has its ups and downs, but it's still an okay place to work at," Razor says.

"That's right. We're going over there to watch the two Goetias and Loona, you can hang out with Octavia if you like," Sarge says.

"Sure. I don't mind," Loona says.

Then Sarge turns to Blitz, "And Blitz, Stolas also likes to know if you want to come."

"Me?" Blitz asks.

"Yes. You," Sarge says.

"Well, I don't mind going if Stolas said it's okay," Blitz says.

Moxxie then expresses his concern, "Are we all okay with bringing Blitz with us. I mean, we're going to a different Ring of Hell, and Blitz has never been to another Ring of Hell before. He's only been with us for almost a month.

"Relax Mox, Blitz has to explore a different Ring of Hell sooner or later," Randall says.

"True, but I'm sure Blitz will be fine," Drew says.

Sarge says, "And also, it will be a good learning experience to see what another ring of Hell is like. Loo Loo Land is in the Greed Ring, and the place is different from the Pride Ring."

"Maybe so, but why Loo Loo Land of all places. No offense, but that amusement park looks like a death trap," Loona says.

"I thought you liked Loo Loo Land?" Sarge questions.

Loona rolls her eyes, "When I was a kid, but looking at it now, it's nothing but a run down amusement park, especially with that creepy jester… clown… over there." and shudders.

"Not too fond of clowns, huh?" Blitz questions.

"Not really, but you're kind of a clown yourself, so you're the only one I'm okay with," Loona says.

Sometime later, the I.M.P van drives to a parking lot as they arrive at Loo Loo Land Amusement Park, even though the park is practically empty. Moxxie exits from the van and opens the side door to let everyone else out. Stolas walks out of the van with excitement. Octavia however doesn't feel the same as she walks out of the van. Stolas then puts on an apple-themed hat and gestures towards the park gate. Octavia groans as she pulls her hat over her face, feeling embarrassed. Soon, everyone begins to walk into the park.

Soon, the group enters the park.

Blitz looks around and says, "Wow. So this is Loo Loo Land. It does have a lot of apple theme decor and toys here."

"Yeah, but there's a lot more stuff here than just apple theme stuff," Berry says.

"Yeah. Berry and I haven't been here since we were kids," Drew says.

"And I haven't been here since I worked here," Razor says.

Blitz continues to look around the park. To Blitz, it's different from the other amusement parks he has gone to. He looks up to see the sky is a different color than the Pride Ring. Suddenly, Blitz bumps into someone, and looks up to see Stolas turning his head and looking down to Blitz.

Blitz blushes and steps back, "Oh, sorry about that, Stolas. I wasn't watching where I was going."

"That's alright, Blitz. I remember this is your very first time to Loo Loo Land," Stolas says.

"Yeah. It is. I still have a lot to learn about Hell," Blitz says, still a little flustered."

Stolas kneels down and taps on his snout, "You are so cute when you are flustered."

Blitz blushes even more and turns his head away with a smile.

Octavia groans, feeling embarrassed, "Dad."

"Sorry Via," Stolas says and hugs his daughter.

Berry walks to Blitz and says, "Come on Blitz, let's go have some fun."

"Okay," Blitz says with a smile.

Millie takes off her sunglasses and says with excitement, "Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot!"

Millie and Moxxie look around and a large letter falls off the sign and crushes a teenage Imp close by.

"It hasn't changed a bit!" Millie says.

Then Millie turns her head and points ahead with excitement, "Oh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly!"

The malformed animatronic dinosaur roars and lets out a terrifying demonic shriek.

"That is...deeply upsetting," Moxxie says, feeling disturbed.

"Oh come on! It's fun! You've never been here?" Millie says.

Moxxie turns away and answers, "No. Theme parks always disturbed me. Especially the mascots." and shivers just thinking about it.

Right on cue, Loo Loo Land's mascot, Loo Loo appears behind Moxxie. The apple is a reddish color with a big grin on the face and missing a tooth. It has green on top and the leaf and wears a top hat.

Loo Loo happily says, "Well, hey there!"

Moxxie then screams in fright.

"I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us!" Loo Loo says.

Blitz turns to the others and asks, "Does he mean metaphorically or literally?"

Loona, Berry, and Drew shrug their shoulders.

Stolas happily says to Octavia, "Look! Via! It's Loo Loo!"

Then Octavia turns to Loo Loo and asks, "I have a question."

"Well ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!" Loo Loo happily says.

Then Octavia asks with a smirk on her face, "Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?"

Loona smirks to hear the question.

After a moment of silence, Loo Loo answers, "No?"

"This place reeks of insecure corporate shame," Octavia says, narrowing her eyes.

Stolas chuckles nervously and leads Octavia away, "Why don't we go check out the rides?"

"That chick's creepy, huh?" Loo Loo comments.

"Eh, I think it's just a phase. You know how teenagers are," Drew says.

"What's that mean?" Loo Loo asks, turning to Moxxie and Millie.

Moxxie sternly says, "Don't talk to me! I know you're a pervert under there."

He then takes Millie by the hand and leaves the scene.

"Yeah..." Loo Loo says, feeling dejected.

Moxxie and Millie hurry down the pathway, and Moxxie is sweating as he stops to catch his breath.

He turns to Millie and asks, "You really like this place, huh?"

"I love this place!" Millie says, excited.

Then says "My parents would bring me and my siblings here, when they could swing it. Money-wise."

"Yeah, the prices do seem rather criminal," Moxxie says, and looks at the sign.

The sign says that the cups practically cost 29 souls, "I mean, that much for a novelty cup you use one time?"

"'Cause it's Loo Loo Land!" Millie says, excited.

Blitz and the others look at the stuff that are on sale.

"29 souls?" Blitz says, surprised, "And I thought the amusement parts I've gone to on Earth were that expensive."

"Well, this is the Greed Ring after all," Razor says.

Then Randell says, holding a novelty cup. Then nudges Moxxie on his elbow, "I suggest you listen to your hoe, Mox."

He then takes a drink from his novelty cup.

Sarge says, "Alright Stolas suggests that we have a good time while we're here, so maybe you guys can have some fun."

"Oh!" Millie shouts with excitement.

Then picks up Moxxie and runs off, "We gotta do my favorite ride!"

Drew and Berry quickly follow after them as Moxxie asks, "Oh yeah? Whi- which one?"

He looks ahead to see the roller coaster known as 'The Lawsuit' . A Imp is riding on the coaster and it plunges off on the tracks at a 90 degree angle at top speed while it's in green fire.

Moxxie nervously says, "Oh crumbs!"

As Millie carries Moxxie to the line for the ride.

"The Lawsuit," Blitz says, reading the sign.

"Awesome! I haven't been on this ride for a long time!" Randall says, excited.

"I haven't been on this ride for a long time!" Razor says.

"Looks cool," Loona says.

Stolas looks a bit weary, "Uh, how about we go on a different ride?"

"Oh don't be a chicken, Stolas. It's going to be fun," Randall says, practically dragging Stolas to the ride.

Berry and Loona drag Blitz and Octavia to the ride.

Berry says, "You're going to love it guys."

"So Blitz, do you like Roller Coasters?" Drew asks.

"I do, but I never see a roller coaster with a 90 degree angle," Blitz says.

"You'll love it," Millie happily says, and runs back in line with Moxxie.

Moments later, Moxxie is vomiting in the trash can after having gone on the ride. A family covered in vomit walks by and glares at Moxxie. And a massive dragon creature from nearby looms overhead to Moxxie as well. Stolas, Octavia, and even Blitz feel dizzy and a little queasy from the ride. The others do try their best to help ease their dizziness.

They soon go on more rides around the area, and some are more easy for Moxxie to handle. After having fun with the rides, the group looks around to see what they can do next. Of course, the I.M.P employees, well, ones with weapons are watching around the area in case someone tries to attack. As they inspect the area, a group of Imps secretly peek out from behind the tents with weapons, ropes, and a sack and plan to capture the Goeita demons.

Razor turns to Blitz, "So Blitz, how are you enjoying Loo Loo Land?"

"It seems good so far, but I think the place could use a little fixer upper," Blitz says, looking around the park.

Loona rolls her eyes, "A lot of fixer upper."

"You said it," Octavia agrees.

Just then, Stolas pulls his daughter over in excitement, "Look, Via! You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!"

The group turns to see a circus tent. With a robotic clown on one of the posters.

Octavia doesn't feel the same, "Oh no…"

Razor mutters with frustration, "No fuckin way…."

"God damnit…" Loona mutters with a glare.

When Octavia's little, she is frightened to have walked in the attraction, then is pushed to the stage by the excited Imps. There she sees a robotic clown with sparks and cackles maniacally as he leans to Octavia with a creepy smile. Octavia is so frightened that she cried. Razor, who is still working as a construction worker at the time, glares at the Robotic Fizzarolli with annoyed expression. Loona however, just hates it.

Razor, Octavia, and Loona mutter "I hate that fucking clown!"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Blitz says, confused.

Razor calmly turns to Blitz and says, "Nevermind. Let's uh, go inside. Then head somewhere else."

With that, the group then walks inside. Stolas, Octavia, and Blitz sit on the bleachers to watch the show. Sarge, Randall, Razor, and Loona head off to different areas of the tent to keep signs out for any more Imps. Millie, Moxxie, Drew, and Berry remain at their seats with Blitz and the two owl demons.

Suddenly, a robotic voice appears on the stage, "Hey hey hey hey hey, Implings! It's me, the Robotic Fizzarolli!"

Arriving through the curtains is a robotic jester demon. It wears a blue and black with red and yellow stripe jester cap with yellow bells, a yellow ruffle and a black collar with bells below, two yellow eyes, a happy face on one shoulder and a sad face on the other. He also wears a yellow ruffle and a black collar with bells below, two yellow eyes, a happy face on one shoulder and a sad face on the other.

The robot takes a bow while on the stage and says, "Shipped from Big Ozzie's factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo Land, spelled with 'O's, to avoid lawsuits!" Then shows a contract.

Then turns to the stage, "Hit it!" And snaps his fingers.

With that, the lights turn on as music begins to play."

Robo Fizz:

Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land!

Everybody sing along with the Loo Loo band

Robo Fizz sings and dances as the curtains open to reveal the band.

Robo Fizz:

Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man

Robo Fizz moves to point to some of the audience.

Robo Fizz:

Loves Loo Loo Land!

The jester returns to the stage and stacked platforms rise up on the stage in three layers.

Robo Fizz:

Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land!

Everything is beautiful at Loo Loo Land

The robotic band continues to play the instruments.

Robo Fizz:

Ugly children holdin' hands

The Robot cloud then grabs a row of Imp children and pulls them into a hug.

Robo Fizz:

In Loo Loo Land!

He then spins in the air and throws the children across the area.

Robo Fizz:

Everybody's friendly,

The robotic jester hugs the robotic dinosaur.

Robo Fizz:

and nobody is mean

Then smacks the back of the two headed bear, and it sprays oil on a teenage Imp.

Robo Fizz:

No copyright infringement's ever seen

He then sprayed gasoline on a pile of copyright papers. Then throws a match of fire that bursts into flames.

Robo Fizz:

I have a dream (he has a dream)

Now he's sitting on the piano.

Robo Fizz:

I'm here to tell (he's here to tell)

He then stands up as he raises his hand.

Robo Fizz:

About a magical fantastic place called Loo Loo Land!

He then twirls his legs together and spins like a top, as the piano is actually cardboard cut out. Then slides down to perform a split as he continues to perform.

At the stands, Octavia and Loona sit with disgusted boredom while Blitz is a little confused about the robot's performance. Everyone else continues to enjoy the show.

Sometime later, Octaiva is practically groaning throughout the whole show, banging her fist on the bench. Stolas and the others do seem to enjoy it, especially Stolas. Blitz kind of enjoys it, but is a little creeped out by the robotic clown. Loona is typing on her phone, ignoring the clown.

The Robotic Fizzarolli continues to sing.

Robo Fizz:

sing along with the Loo Loo band!

Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man

Loves Loo Loo Land!

The show ends with some technical difficulties with the machines falling apart, and Robo Fizz is having sparks come out of his neck.

Stolas happily claps as he says, "Oh hohohoho, how delightful!"

Octavia simply pulls her hat down, completely embarrassed.

Blitz nervously chuckles, "Well, I have to admit, the performance is very different than I expected."

"You have no idea," Octavia says, annoyed.

Behind the tall Goetia, there's three Imps standing behind Stolas. One is holding a gun, another is holding a dagger, and the last one is holding a rope. Before the three can attack, Sarge, Randall, and Razor fire their guns at the enemies, blasting their heads off. Stolads and Blitz turn around to see the decapitated Imps as they fall over.

"I'm starting to understand why you need bodyguards. You get attacked around every corner," Blitz says.

"I suppose so. It's actually a bit normal for me," Stolas says.

"I would be very annoyed or worried if it happens to me all the time," Blitz says.

Octavia sighs and asks, "Can we go now?"

"Of course Via," Stolas says and snuggles his daughter.

With that, the group leaves their seats, and soon meet up with Sarge and the others who are on the upper floor and begin to leave the tent. As they leave the Robotic Fizzarolli notices the group leaving the show once it's done, specifically Razor.

The Robot evilly laughs and says, "Well well, looks like today is just getting interesting," and continues to laugh.