The State Verses Derek Morgan-Ch 13
It was late in the evening when Hotch and Mia finally left the jail, Mia headed back to her office while Hotch headed back to the BAU to see if the team had been lucky and found something, but, sadly they hadn't. Reid looked at Hotch and said, "how was Morgan when you left?", Hotch said, "he still can't remember anything at all, not what happened to Garcia or how he got those scratches, nothing, nothing at all".
Shane looked around and said, "so far we haven't been able to find anything either, everybody is accounted for, either in prison or dead and that's even the family members, so we're back to square one". JJ blew out a deep breath and said, "we need to talk about Garcia for a minute", everybody turned to look at her, Dave had come back into the room after calling to check on Fran to see how she was holding up.
JJ said, "we need to discuss funeral arrangements, what are we going to do?", Hotch said, "you, Emily and Reid know her a lot better than I do, so I'll leave the planning up to the three of you". JJ looked at Shane and said, "what do you think Shane, do you have any idea where she would like to be buried?", Shane said, "someplace with beautiful flowers, she always loved flowers", Dave said, "I think I know the perfect place.
Reid and the others were all smiles after Dave said, "what about heavenly hills cemetery they are surrounded by beautiful flowers and lots and lots of trees, I think kitten would have liked it there", everybody nodded their heads yes in agreement. Emily said, "Jayje and I will go tomorrow and make the arrangements", Hotch said, "Penelope deserves only the best", JJ said, "and the best is what she's going to get"
Meanwhile, at the jail, Derek had finally drifted off to sleep, at first he was dreaming of a smiling Penelope but that dream changed into a nightmare fast when he could see himself slapping her face over and over. He could then see her trying to run away from him but him hitting her in the back of the head and dragging her back to him, different pictures were flashing in front of him, he was doing various things too her, things like kissing her to ripping her clothes off and pushing her down on a bed.
He could see Penelope scratching him all over, where ever she could reach she was either scratching him or hitting him and in order to get her to stop he put his hands around her neck and started squeezing. When she stopped fighting he saw himself ripping her panties off and thrusting himself inside her, she was screaming and begging for him to stop but he wouldn't, she kept trying to fight him off but he was to strong for her.
In one of the final visions he saw himself push her down on the bed and hold her face down against the mattress as he entered her from behind and started having his way with her, when he saw that he woke up screaming, "nooooooooooo" with tears streaming down his cheeks.
He sat up on the side of the bed and said, "is that what happened, did i do that to baby girl, did I, did I rape her and do all of that horrible stuff to her, no, no, I couldn't have done that, not to her, not to my baby girl". He buried his head in his hands and allowed the tears to fall, was that what his baby girl had gone through, was she tortured like that, did he do it, would he ever learn the truth, he shook his head and said, "I couldn't have done that, I just couldn't have".
He leaned back and laid his head against the wall and said, "was Carl right, am I a monster, am I the monster that raped, tortured and killed the woman that I loved with all of my heart", if I did that to her then I don't deserve freedom, if I did that to her I deserve to die, I deserve to die", he looked up and said, "please help me, please help me" as the tears continued to fall down the brokenhearted Derek Morgan's cheeks, sleep eluded Derek for the rest of the night and all he could think about was the bubbly blonde that called him her say over and over, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry"