Sara found herself in the breakroom going over everything in her head. The senselessness of the whole situation, of the deaths and the harm to the civilians. People were scared and were taking it out on the cops, the criminalists, and fellow citizens. She was learning sign language thanks to Grissom but she needed to learn Spanish. She lived in a city with a large Hispanic population and even had as a child, but she hadn't thought to learn the language. Grissom had told her that Brass and Sofia were having a hard time.

The talk a month before about children or the idea of children at least, had been promising. Suddenly, the world was turned upside down again and the idea of children was an impossible dream. Children didn't need to enter a world where everything turned upside down in the matter of minutes. She remembered one of her foster mothers had gotten cancer and then gotten pregnancy by accident. Sara had watched her slowly die because she wanted the baby to have a chance. When Sara told her she was making a horrible decision, the woman had told her that children embodied hope. Babies were innocent and full of hope; hope for the future, hope for humanity, just hope eternal. Sara didn't know if she'd ever believe what her foster mother had said. The woman had died a month after giving birth to a little girl and Sara had been sent to another foster family. A month before she'd graduated high school, she'd asked her social worker if there was a way to meet the little girl. She rarely asked for anything so the woman made it happen.

Sitting at a picnic table with the wind blowing softly, Sara looked to her social worker as the seventeen year old trying to wait patiently. "How much longer?"

"A few minutes Sara."

Sara watched from afar as a car pulled into the parking lot and her former foster father got out. After going around the car, he pulled out a little girl who couldn't be more than three years old. Sara stood up as the two approached and found herself pulled into a hug by the man who had housed her for over a year. "Hi Sara."

"Hello Mr. Thompson."

The man sat down and held the little girl in his lap. "Sara, you remember Nadia, don't you?"

"Hello Nadia." Sara pulled something out of her pocket and held onto metal chain. "I have something for you. I know you'll never remember me but I want you to have this." She held out a chain with a locket. "Your mom, Heather, she told me you're a sign of hope. I don't believe in hope but you should. You should remember her because your mom, she was one of the good ones and she loved you." She put the necklace around Nadia's neck. "My mom would have never done what yours did and for that, you're special."

Mr. Thompson took ahold of the locket to see the word hope on the front of the locket. He opened it to see a picture of his late wife and Nadia's mother. "Sara, you didn't have to give her this."

"I'm going to Harvard, Mr. Thompson. I uh, I'm going to be emancipating withing the next few months. I've thought about what Heather told me when she was pregnant with Nadia. I'll never forget because she told me babies were hope. However, she also told me that hope is something inside of you. I don't believe it, I can't after my past, but Nadia is the closest I'll ever get to a little sister. You guys were the best out of all the foster families. I want her to have hope because without it, Nadia will end up like me. Alone in the world."

"Did Heather ever tell you Nadia's full name?"

Sara shook her head, curls flying around her as she did. "No."

"Nadia Sara Thompson. You did a lot to help Heather during the pregnancy, even though you thought she made a bad choice. Heather loved you a lot and if things had been different, you would have been adopted. We were discussing it when we found out about her diagnosis and Nadia. I know that doesn't help you now, it probably hurts but we would have."

Tears formed in her eyes. "Thank you for letting me know. It means a lot."

"If you ever need anything Sara, let me know." He looked down at the toddler in his arms, "if you ever want to visit, our door is always open. Doesn't matter how old you get, we're here for you."

Hearing her name, Sara found herself being pulled out her memories. She looked at the doorway to see Grissom there. He must have read something across her face because he crossed to her and sat down in the chair next to her. She turned completely and tried to smile but it failed to meet her eyes.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"Hope." She only uttered the single word.

"What about hope?"

Sara sighed, "I almost got adopted once but life happened. My foster mother told me that children are hope. Being out in the field the last few days, hearing parents fearing for their children as I pulled bullets out of their walls. I just keep thinking, how are children hope?" She looked up to meet blue eyes. "Children grow into teenagers and adults who shoot aimlessly and injure without thought. They're not hope, they're everything that escaped Pandora's Box. Pain, anger, selfishness, never ending horror."

Grissom took a breath and grasped her hand. "Humans are complicated beings, Sara. We can be full of hope or full of death, it depends on the choices we make. I think she saw the potential we have instead of the anger and pain that exists when we lose faith in ourselves. If everyone held hope as tightly as she did, we'd never have all the pain and anger that exists in the world. We certainly wouldn't have a job."

"I can't do it right now." She glanced at him. "The last few days have shown me that right now, having kids is a horrible idea."

"We don't have to have to make a decision today or tomorrow."

Sara nodded. "I want children with you but not now. Maybe next year."

"We'll make that decision in the future." He sighed and stood up, reaching out to push back her hair. "I have to get back to the morgue."

"Yeah, I need to get back out there and find the bullets. Ecklie called in the day shift so I was able to get some semblance of dinner."

"They can afford to be without you for a few hours. Curl up in my office and get some sleep. I'll tell Catherine so she can cover you with Ecklie."

Sara nodded, "okay." She smiled for the first time when she leans down and kissed her softly, chastely.

"'You are beautiful when you are happy.'" He quoted to her before leaving her in the breakroom, smiling unlike when he arrived.

Walking into Grissom's office to find Sofia, during the middle of a massive police-involved officer shooting had Sara on edge. He wouldn't have just invited Sofia into his office knowing policy as he did, so it meant the woman had just walked into his office uninvited. Also his expression was bewilderment at the fact Sofia was there.

"Hey Gil, I have a question…" Sara looked up to see Sofia in the office and Grissom looking stunned as if he didn't know what to say or do. "Sofia?" A glance at Grissom told her that he didn't know what to make of it either. "You're on administrative leave."

"I know."

"You shouldn't be in this building."

Hostility rose from the blonde. "I was just talking to a friend. If I can't talk to a friend, who the hell am I supposed to talk to?"

Tempering down her tone, Sara went for calm. "Any friend outside the department."

"And how many friends outside of work do you have Sara?" She grew even more hostile, "or maybe I should go talk to my mother. Oh sorry, she's a cop too."

Leaving her tone inviting, Sara spoke. "I can recommend a departmental psychologist." She knew the woman so she could recommend her to Sofia.

Looking back at Grissom then to the side. "All right, then. This was a really bad idea. Sorry."

Once the blonde left, Sara glanced at her boyfriend to see him confused and bewildered also. Taking a step inside, Sara closed the door behind herself and walked to the desk. "If I…"

"You didn't overstep, in fact you helped." He looked down at his file. "I already tried to stop her from talking but the hint wasn't taken."

Sara looked at the clipboard in her hand, "I'm questioning some of the trejectories. The way that the bullets hit the homes, it was at an angle that seems off from the location cops firing their weapons. The only way I think this could happen was from an abnormal angle or counterintuitive shooting. I'm suggesting we need to do a reconstruction, a physical reconstruction. What do you think?"

"We'll do that later." Grissom told her while putting the files in his hands on the desk. "For now, the Undersheriff has demanded that we find the bullet that hit Officer Bell. I spoke with Ecklie and you're going to be heading the field teams for now. Day, Swing, and Night will be reporting to you."

"Wow, that's a lot of responsibility."

Grissom nodded, "you can do it, I believe in you. More importantly, Ecklie and McKeen believe you're the right person for the job."

"Since when does Ecklie think putting me in charge of three shifts is a good idea?"

"Since I have to stay at the lab to handle the politics unless something in the field requires my attention. Catherine is running down a lead regarding the shooting. Nick, Warrick and Greg are processing evidence. You're the only one left."

Sara put her hands on the chair in front of his desk. "Days and Swing Shift supervisors are out there also."

"McKeen wants our team fronting the investigation. So, that leaves you."

"Well, wish me luck."

Grissom sat down in his chair. "You don't need luck, but good luck."

Moving around the desk, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"Hey Sara." Sara turned as her hand grasped the doorknob. "Would you be opposed to me inviting my mother to Vegas for Thanksgiving?"

The brunette smiled at him. "If you want, my ASL is still weak though."

She watched as Grissom signed to her and she grinned. Get to work, Boss.

Signing back, she watched him chuckle. Right away!

Returning from speaking with Brass, Grissom entered the townhouse to find it quiet. Hank didn't greet him so he knew Sara was around. Making his way to the bedroom, he paused in the doorway at seeing Sara curled up in bed asleep. She looked peaceful after days of working and managing some of the field work. Catherine had texted him to tell him that Ecklie was giving Sara a commendation for her leadership over a period of days. Apparently, both the Day and Swing Shift supervisors were impressed with her ability to manage over thirty employees in the field and keep evidence under control from start to finish.

Hank was curled up at the end of the bed with his head on Sara's feet. He picked up his head just long enough to see it was Grissom before putting it back down. Leaving the doorway, Grissom walked over to the bed and sat down on his side. With Sara facing him, he reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear. It was curled, meaning she'd taken a shower and washed her hair. Watching Sara sleep was something he could do forever if given the chance. However, a glance at his watch made him aware that he was due to speak to his mother over video chat on the computer.

After a quick shower and change into lounge pants and a grey undershirt, he settled into the office. He'd taken five extra minutes to make sure he hadn't woken Sara before leaving the bedroom. Grissom opened his computer and signed in to make the connection as the clock hit the assigned time he'd arranged with his mother. Immediately, he saw his mother's smiling face and like always, she began signing as soon as she saw him.

Gil, why haven't you called in weeks?

"I have some news for you Mom." He had a habit of signing while he spoke. "I have a girlfriend and we'd like to have you for Thanksgiving."

Who is she? Is she from the college?

"No, we work together." He signed and smiled as he did. "You'll love Sara."

How long have you been together? A few weeks? And you want me to come meet her already?

He shook his head, "no, almost seven months."

Seven! His mother took offense to being told late, it seemed. You've waited seven months to tell me you're dating? Gilbert, it's almost a year!

"I love her Mom." He smiled fondly as he remembered something and spoke of it. "Do you remember my time with you in 1998, when I seemed different? That's where I met her. We've worked together since 2000, but recently the team dynamic changed so we were able to start dating."

How long have you loved her?

"Seems like forever and not long enough at the same time."

His mother put her hands to her chest, not signing but clearly surprised at his admission. Her hands started flying again. I have to meet her! I have to know the woman who has made such a different in your life.

"Hey, everything okay?" Sara diverted his attention as she stood in the doorway. "Sneak in while I was asleep again?"

Grissom looked at her and pointed to his computer. "My mom." He continued signing as he did.

"Oh, really?" Sara put up a finger and then motioned to her cotton shorts and tank top, disappearing into the bedroom.

Grissom chuckled and turned back to the computer. "Sara is in pajamas; she doesn't want to say hello until she's decent." His signs continued as his mother watched him.

Do you live together?

"No, Sara has her own apartment but she does stay over quite a bit. I have my dog and if her apartment manager gets wind of a dog, she loses the place."

You have a dog? He watched his mother look confused, probably because he always stated he didn't want a pet.

Grissom whistled softly and Hank came into the office, putting his front paws on Grissom's leg. The entomologist signed to his mother. "His name is Hank, he's a rescue."

Sara came into the room in jeans and one of her older shirts, it had the SFPD logo that was faded. "Hank, no!" She snapped her fingers and he got down off Grissom. "Down." The dog laid down at their feet as Sara came over to the computer.

Looking at Sara as she sat in the second desk chair next to him. His expression was pure adoration before he looked back at the computer where his mother was. Sara made the first move by saying hello both verbal and with signing. "Hello, Mrs. Grissom, my name is Sara."

Hello Sara. I'm Betty. Gilbert says you work together.

Sara looked between them, "we do, we have for years." Her signing continued, very new and often she resorted to fingerspelling but she was trying. Grissom knew that meant more to his mother than Sara could understand. "I first met Gil at a conference in 1998."

"She had a ponytail." He stated as he watched Sara and the woman shook her head before looking at him.

Sara turned his mother. "Ignore him. He'd tell you what I've worn every day since we started dating, if given the chance."

"I know the only type of jewelry you prefer are necklaces." He smiled at her and she turned her head in time to smile at him.

"You're so weird." She rolled her eyes and looked back at the screen.

His mother seemed to be laughing at Sara's comments and signing. She makes you smile; I miss your smile.

Sara yawned and turned her head to the side to cover it. Eventually she turned back around and signed to his mother. "It was nice to meet you Betty but I'm going to have to back out. I was up for close to 24 hours managing a large scene."

Goodnight and goodbye Sara. The woman smiled at the brunette.

Sara stood up and moved the chair out of the way, pausing to put her hand on Grissom's shoulder. "Come to bed soon. You've been awake just as long."

"I'll be there soon." He continued to sign despite talking to her. His hands stopped as he put his hand on her arm as she leaned over to kiss him.

Sara left the office, calling Hank as she went. "Come on Hank, bedtime." The boxer immediately got up and headed after her.

Grissom turned back to his mother and smiled at her as he signed. "I told you that you'd love her."

She's so young Gilbert, much younger than I expected.

"Mom, I know what you think because I thought it for years." Grissom's smile disappeared as he signed to his mother. "I've loved her for years and I thought 'she deserves better than me' so I did nothing, said nothing. Then, in the span of two minutes, I almost lost her. All I thought as I watched her be taken hostage was 'I never got the chance. I never told her,' and then she was okay." He looked back up at his mother as his gaze had been lowered. "What you don't know is that it's never been one-sided. Sara's loved me just as long as I've loved her. I pushed her away years ago and she still never wavered. She said she'd have rather loved me as a friend and coworker then leave and not love me at all. After that hostage situation, it changed. We changed. We both knew we wasted too much time."

Are you happy?

Grissom nodded, "yeah mom, we are. Infinitely and immeasurably."

Well that is what matters. You mentioned she likes necklaces. Have you gotten her a necklace yet? You have to give her gifts, Gilbert. Have you bought her flowers?

"I give her plants." He signed to his mother while grinning. "She likes vegetation, not flowers that die easily. As for necklaces, she balks at anything of expense so it's costume jewelry. I've bought her several costume necklaces but I did get her a silver necklace for our six month anniversary."

I not able to come for Thanksgiving. I am hosting the Thanksgiving dinner for the college here.

"Alright, but some other time you should come out. Sara and I would love to host you." He waved at his mother, "I love you, Mom."

I love you too Gilbert. I'm happy for you.

He left the office after ending the call with his mother and entered the bedroom to see Sara laying on her side with her head propped up on her elbow. She was reading the Journal of Forensic Science they were sharing; it was her turn to read the article on DNA Recovery. She glanced up when he sat on the bed looking down at her.

"Sorry, I faked the yawn so you two could talk."

"Well, she likes you."

Sara closed the journal and smiled at him. "I heard you talking to her. How do you tell your mother you love her time after time but you've only told me once?"

"You once said that your father and mother aimed those words like weapons. I try to find other ways to tell you so you know I love you, but you never hear the words that were once weapons." He picked up the journal and set it on his nightstand. "You need sleep, we both do."

Rolling her eyes, Sara nodded and laid down as he left to head to the bathroom. "Just for the record," she called after him, "I'm demanding sex tomorrow! Be prepared to pay up."

"I always take care of you." He called to her from the bathroom.

Sara sat up before she stood and pushed down her jeans, throwing them into the laundry basket by the dresser. "You know, I just thought of something. If your mom can't come, we could invite the team for Thanksgiving dinner." She grabbed the shorts she'd left on the floor by the nightstand. "I know Nick is staying in town and Greg is going to be alone. Warrick is on-call but it's not New Year's or July 4th, so crime is usually down. I'm guessing Catherine will be with her mom and Lindsey." She stated as he came back from the bathroom, turning the light off as he did.

"Inviting everyone sounds like a great idea. I'll ask tomorrow what everyone is doing." He suggested as he moved around her as she pulled off her old shirt to replace with the tank top she normally slept in.

"Are you sure you're okay with inviting the team?" She asked as he pushed back his side of the covers and she sat down on her side. "You're a really private person. It was just a suggestion."

He turned his head to look at her. "We both are private people but sometimes it's good to come out of our shell."

"Okay." She smiled as she laid down and faced him as he turned off the light on his side. Her smile disappeared as he laid down, meeting her eyes. "I'll be hosting this dinner, I don't know anything about hosting a dinner."

He ran his hand up her arm. "Honey, you can do anything you set your mind to."

Let me know what you think of this in-depth, long intense chapter.

In the show, Sara knows very little sign language but I felt this was a huge disservice to Grissom and his mother. Signing is a part of his communication with his mother, so I actually believe Sara would ask him to teach her ASL or she'd learn on her own.