Chapter 11
"Darling? Are you okay? You look pale," Seiya said, concerningly stroking my cheek. I felt the tears welling up inside me. No, I can't cry now, that would be my downfall.
"Yes, I'm fine," I forced myself to smile. As Seiya started driving, I looked at him from the side. What did Mina say again? Pros and cons list.
Pros of Seiya: His laughter, his openness, his humor, his lightness, the way he loves me... oh, I could go on and on with this list.
On the con side, there would always be one word: Star.
No matter how I turned it around, he was an international star. He was in the spotlight, and if I chose him, sooner or later, I would be too. Seiya wasn't like his brother Taiki, who had been together with Amy for two years, and it was perfectly fine for both of them to not be publicly presented. Seiya loved the big show, even though he was often annoyed by clingy fans. I knew that if I gave my consent, it would only take a few days until we would be on the front pages.
Seiya turned into the hotel parking garage. "Are you really okay? You haven't said anything the whole way."
"Yes, really, everything is fine. I was just lost in thought."
"And what were you thinking about?"
I couldn't quite interpret his expression when he asked that. It was a mixture of concern and interest.
"About how incredibly lucky I am to have you by my side," I whispered, leaning towards him, causing a mischievous grin to spread across his lips.
Gently, he ran his finger down my cheek to my chin. He pulled me closer, and as our lips were only a few centimeters apart, he stopped.
"I'm also incredibly lucky to have found you. I love you, my darling."
While he spoke those words, I froze and was simultaneously flooded with a fluttering sensation. I felt both hot and cold. It was the first time he said it out loud. He loves me. Seiya didn't wait for a response but closed the remaining distance and kissed me. It was a passionate kiss, and I immediately joined in. He loves me, echoed repeatedly in my mind. I had already read it in the song, but hearing him say it out loud was something entirely different.
We slept in late the next morning. Seiya had breakfast delivered to our room, and then we leisurely made our way back home. We were about an hour away from Tokyo when Seiya's phone rang, and he answered the call on the speakerphone.
"Seiya? Are you home?" Yaten's voice echoed through the speakers.
"Only in an hour, why?"
"I'm on my way. Since I finally met your girlfriend, I wanted to see your apartment. You've kept it such a big secret."
Seiya looked somewhat caught off guard and glanced at me. I thought for a moment, but there was no point. I couldn't come up with a suitable excuse for why his brother shouldn't visit us.
"No problem. We're looking forward to it. I'll send you the address," I said a bit louder for him to hear.
"Oh, I'm on speaker. Hey Usagi. Great, see you soon."
As soon as Yaten hung up, Seiya looked at me again. "You don't have to do this. I can cancel on him."
"Why? Are you embarrassed by our apartment?" I asked, puzzled. He seemed to give off the impression that he didn't want his brother to visit us. "No, not at all. I love our apartment."
He took a deep breath, and I could tell he was searching for the right words. "But... It's still more your apartment than ours, in a way."
"What do you mean?" I couldn't quite follow. Of course, it was my apartment. It had been mine for almost five years now.
"Darling... What would you think about getting a bigger apartment? Two rooms, kitchen, bathroom were fine for a start, but I still have most of my stuff at Yaten's loft... Our 55 square meters are already fully utilized. Yaten has been pestering me for a while to clear out my things. I'm afraid that once he knows where we live, he'll bring my stuff over."
"You want to move with me to a bigger apartment?" I had never thought about that. My apartment had been the only constant in my life so far. The last time I had considered giving it up, Mamoru suddenly left for America.
A shy blush spread across Seiya's cheeks. "Yes... Uh... It was just an idea. You can think about it."
Wow... I had to let that sink in first. He really meant it with me. For real! With "I love you," a big apartment, and him by my side. Of course, I had long been aware that things were moving at an incredible speed with Seiya and that he was becoming more and more important to me. But Mamoru would be back soon too. If I take this step with Seiya and move in with him, I really have to be sure about it.
"I... I'll think about it," I said when I noticed he was still looking at me expectantly. The rest of the drive, we spent in an uncomfortable silence. I can't exactly say what it was, but it felt somewhat strange.
Yaten leaned against my apartment door in the hallway, with a large black suitcase next to him. When he heard us approaching, he pushed his sunglasses up a bit and grinned at Seiya.
"I thought since I'm coming here, I'd bring some of your stuff with me. They've been missing you," Yaten said, patting the suitcase.
"What did I tell you? As if I could smell it. He's going to keep doing this until he unloads everything here," Seiya whispered in my ear from behind. I suppressed a laugh. Yaten and Seiya were quite the pair.
"Thanks, Yaten. How generous of you. I did tell you that I'll pick everything up soon," Seiya snapped impatiently, which only made Yaten's grin wider.
"I thought I'd remind you. Your 'soon' has been months already. Hello, Usagi, thanks for the invitation," he suddenly addressed me. So far, I had just stood by and listened to their conversation.
"Hello, Yaten. I'm glad you found it," I greeted him and took out the key to let us into the apartment. Yaten casually rolled Seiya's suitcase into the apartment. It's going to be really cramped under my bed when Seiya goes on tour again. I can barely fit everything in there as it is. Seiya quickly showed him around the apartment; there wasn't much to see. Then we ordered food because Seiya and I were already starving. We had only had a late breakfast, and the car ride had exhausted us.
Shortly after, there was a ring at the door. We were surprised at how fast it came today. Seiya opened it, and then Minako's voice echoed. "Is she here?"
Before Seiya could respond, I was in the hallway. "What's going on?"
Mina pushed Seiya aside. "Do you have any champagne or wine?"
Mina seemed like she could explode any moment.
"Yes, both." I knew I didn't have to ask again; she would tell me everything soon enough. She was furious, but at whom? She headed straight for my fridge. She knew that I always had a bottle chilled for emergencies. Minako sometimes felt at home here too. She placed two glasses on the countertop, popped the cork, and poured us drinks. While doing so, she started talking, handing me a glass and continuing her chatter into the living room.
"I had a date, ahhh, this guy drove me crazy. We had been chatting and talking on the phone for a while, seemed quite nice. Anyway, I just met him, and he was such a dud, you can't imagine. A handshake like a dead fish, he only talked about himself the whole time, and in the end, I had to pay for my own meal. Usa, I think I'm turning lesbian..." Minako suddenly stopped, both physically and with her words, and I almost bumped into her.
"But that would be a shame for the male world if you switched sides. You look quite cute, you know," Yaten chimed in from the sofa. Now I also understood why Minako suddenly paused. She didn't even know that I had Yaten as a visitor besides Seiya.
Slowly, she turned to face me, blushing like a tomato. Her expression said it all. We had known each other for so long that it was as if I could read her thoughts right now.
"You rushed in so quickly. I forgot to mention it," I whispered. Mina lifted her glass and drank half of it in one go. I gently turned her shoulder and pushed her towards the sofa.
"Yaten, may I introduce you to my best friend Minako? Mina, this is Seiya's brother Yaten." Of course, I knew that Minako knew exactly who was sitting in front of her. Yaten extended his hand to her and moved aside a bit. Seiya had taken a seat in the armchair, and in that moment, I realized what he meant. The living room was already tight for four people, and he still had a brother and his girlfriend. Should I consider agreeing to a bigger apartment? But how would I explain that to Mamoru? It was impossible to hide Seiya's stuff in a shared apartment. What if I moved in with Seiya but kept this apartment for now? That could be the solution until I made a final decision.
Suddenly, Seiya waved his hand in front of my face. "Darling?" He practically snapped me out of my trance. "Yes, what is it?"
He held the pizza boxes out to me. I hadn't even realized that the doorbell had rung again.
"Could you please put these on the table for now? I'll get the plates." I took the pizzas from him and placed them on the coffee table, sitting down on the other side of Yaten. I couldn't miss Minako's gaze as she looked at him. It was probably due to the alcohol and her current frustration with men. Seiya handed me a plate and also grinned at the two of them. He leaned down towards me and kissed his way up my neck, sending a delightful shiver through me. "Looks like two people are finding each other," he whispered in my ear. I shrugged, knowing full well that Mina was very complicated when it came to men. We would see what time would bring.
I enjoyed this lovely double date atmosphere. Minako insisted that we watch a movie together. It felt good and right. Seiya would already leave for his tour on Tuesday morning. I decided to push Mamoru and Diamond aside until then and focus entirely on him. I snuggled closer in Seiya's arms and tried to concentrate on the movie.
From Tuesday onwards, I would deal with all the remaining unfinished business. Seiya pulled the blanket over me and gently stroked my back. Mina and Yaten still sat at a distance from each other, but the chemistry between them seemed to be there. I would also put that on my agenda. I could already see the huge pile of tasks rolling towards me. It would be anything but easy. I closed my eyes and breathed in Seiya's scent deeply, listening to his steady heartbeat and feeling the gentle touch of his hand on my back. I rarely felt as safe and secure as I did now.