Chapter 21

Mamoru eventually sat down next to me on the edge of the bed, took his phone in his hand, and called his voicemail, switching to speakerphone. I felt uneasy as I heard a sweet, slightly husky female voice on the other end.

"Hello, Mamoru. I just wanted to let you know that your blood test results are nearly normal again. It seems we've made it. You have no idea how relieved I am about that. Well, you're probably already back in Tokyo, so you can celebrate properly now. Have a drink for me, but don't overdo it. I'll get in touch when I'm back in Japan."

Now I didn't understand anything anymore. Blood test results normal? He can celebrate now? Who was this Rei? What should I do with this information? I caught Mamoru's gaze, and he was now waiting for a reaction from me. Which of the hundred questions in my mind should I start with?

"What did that woman mean? Are you sick, Mamo?" I whispered softly, and he lowered his gaze. "Bunny, my visit to America wasn't just for the new working techniques. I have a rare illness. It's an inherited condition where the liver doesn't function properly, and the body gradually poisons itself. It was an incidental finding, and there was a study being conducted in Seattle on new treatment methods," he said calmly, taking a thoughtful pause. I looked at him in shock. He had been sick all this time and hadn't told me anything. It felt like someone was pulling the ground from beneath my feet. I reached my hand to his face and gently stroked his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He took a deep breath and turned to me. "Because this illness often ends fatally. I had to go through this journey alone. I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on the therapy if I had to worry about you too." "I thought we were a couple, in good times and bad. So why did you shut me out when you were feeling bad? I should have been by your side." Tears started running down my face as I spoke. He could have died, and he hadn't told me anything. "Because I wanted to avoid exactly this situation. I needed to focus on myself to get better. I wouldn't have been able to support you on top of that. When Rei told me about the research in Seattle, I knew it was my only chance for improvement." "So instead of me, she was by your side? Who is she, anyway?" Anger, jealousy, and disappointment were battling for control inside me. "She's an old friend from the past. We were together in high school... She's now a priestess and works part-time as a counselor in some hospitals. That's how she knows many people and was able to connect me with the contacts I needed to participate in the study."

Gradually, my features began to change. If she was such a good old friend, why had he never mentioned her before? But he also didn't seem to understand why I was angry. He put his arm around me, trying to pull me close. Instinctively, I jumped up.

"No, I can't do this right now. You deliberately excluded me from your life. You kept such a life-changing thing from me!" I said, my words rushing out full of anger. He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Bunny, I'm fine now. I'm back. I just didn't want you to worry." "Do you even listen to yourself? I'm fine now, I'm back, I wanted... You, you, you! You should have played with open cards! You should have told me that you were sick! That's what you do in a relationship! Yes, it would have been a shock for me at first, but I would have coped with it. I would have accompanied you to America. We could have gone through it together. I would have supported you." The words poured out of me, driven by anger. Yes, I know I'm the last person who should give lectures on how to behave in a relationship, but I couldn't help it at that moment. "Was she with you the whole time?"

I felt Mamoru searching my gaze, but I couldn't look at him, not at the moment.

"Yes, she accompanied me to the therapies," was his sober answer, and my words seemed to make him reflect. "Was there something going on between you?" I hissed angrily. Mamoru ran his hand through his hair, one of the things he always did when he was nervous. "I... I don't know." Was he trying to fool me? "How? You don't know? That was a simple yes or no question. Was there something going on between you or not?" Mamoru sighed and lowered his gaze to the floor. "I can only remember one kiss. It was the evening before I left for Boston, two days after my last treatment. My blood test results had improved significantly, and we went out to celebrate. I... she... well, I really don't know what happened that night anymore. I woke up alone in a hotel room the next morning. I also lost my phone that night."

My heart raced, of course, just a kiss, and why was he in a hotel room? Tears streamed down my face as I tried to sort out my feelings. It all felt surreal. Once again, he took a step towards me, trying to comfort me by putting his arm around me, but I pulled back.

"I'm sorry, Mamoru, but I can't process all of this right now. I need time to think about how to move forward," I stammered and turned to leave.

Mamoru hesitantly reached for my wrist, his eyes filled with sadness.

"I respect your decision, Bunny. I'll be here when you're ready to talk to me. I'm sorry for hurting you."

Everything I thought I knew about Mamoru and our relationship seemed to be called into question. I wasn't any better either. After all, I had betrayed him with Seiya and Diamond, knowingly and repeatedly. But he had also kept things from me. The trust, the foundation of a relationship, was shaken. I nodded silently and left, feeling a mix of emotions. I closed the door behind me with conflicting feelings.

It had been so nice to have him back with me, even if it was just for a brief moment. I sat behind the wheel of my car and let my tears flow freely. How had my life turned into such a disaster? My Mamoru. I was about to get out and run back upstairs to him, if it really was just a kiss with this Rei... My hand was already on the door handle when my phone rang.

Seiya.

"Yes?" I answered, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Darling, is everything okay with you? You sound like you've been crying."

"Yeah, everything's fine," I lied, slightly better.

"By any chance, are you at home?"

Home, he meant the large apartment that felt infinitely empty without him.

"No, I... I'm still out. Why?"

"There's a black notebook in the bedside table in the bedroom. On the first page, there's a number for a Michiru. Can you send it to me, please?"

"Michiru?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah, our opening band dropped out, and she's really good. I wanted to ask her if she can take over for the next concert."

"And why don't you have her number in your phone?"

"Because I only have important people saved in there."

That actually managed to make me chuckle briefly.

"Well saved. I'll send you the number later when I get home. Is it urgent?"

"Nah, no rush. Have a nice day, my darling."

"Thanks, you too."

That brief conversation with Seiya grounded me somewhat. I had to figure out my feelings now. I urgently needed to find out what I wanted: a life with Seiya? Forgiving Mamoru and starting anew? Or whatever it was with Diamond, continuing that?

I started the engine of my car and drove off. The new apartment was at the other end of Tokyo, and I decided to take the long way through the countryside. I turned the music up loud and enjoyed being alone with my thoughts.

Mamoru had just come back, and I had really enjoyed it. It was like old times, if only for a brief moment, and all the emotions had overwhelmed me. I loved him from the depths of my heart, but he had kept his illness from me, he didn't want me by his side, and instead turned to this Rei. It hurt.

Seiya was amazing, he always wanted the best for me and would treat me like a queen, but being an international star made it complicated. I never wanted to be in the spotlight, and that would inevitably happen if I chose him. Consider the close call with the snapshot at the cinema, and he could only grin about it.

And then there was Diamond, whom I had tried multiple times to break up with. Why couldn't I let go of him?

Suddenly, I was overtaken by a red car that merged right in front of me and immediately slammed on the brakes. I reacted instantly and also hit the brakes, but the red car accelerated again and then abruptly slowed down. My heart started racing; I couldn't understand what this crazy driver in front of me was planning. This dangerous maneuver repeated a third time, just before we entered a curve. I had already increased the distance between our cars, but this time, the car suddenly came to a stop. I pressed the brakes with all my strength, but this time, my car didn't slow down. My brakes didn't respond, and all I saw was the tree rushing towards me. In the last second before impact, I pressed the button on the bracelet, and then, after a loud bang, the lights went out.