Chapter 34

Again and again, I glanced back and forth between Motoki and Mamoru. Motoki's mood seemed to be dropping with every passing second. I took my usual seat, right in the middle of the two, and a sudden shiver ran down my spine. I waited for a moment, but neither of them said a word.

"Mamo, what happened?" I asked, gently stroking his back.

He moved his beer closer to him and let out a deep breath without looking at me. Yet, I could see profound pain on his face.

"Ectopic pregnancy," he muttered, then took a swig from the bottle.

"Ecto-what? You know I can't understand your medical terms."

"Rei had an ectopic pregnancy. She underwent emergency surgery... but it was too late," Motoki whispered to me since Mamoru still had the bottle to his lips. I felt an icy coldness in my bones.

"What do you mean, too late?" I whispered, though I could already guess.

"It means they're both dead. Another one," Mamoru said, slamming the bottle on the counter.

I stared at him with my mouth agape. This couldn't be true. It was just a few days ago that I met Rei. Just three days ago, he told me he was going to be a father! It took me a while to process this information.

"Mamoru, I think you've had more than enough to drink. It's not even coffee time, and you can barely stand. Yes, you're going through a difficult time, but your Bunny will take you home now so you can get yourself together," Motoki said, and my face lost all expression.

Motoki seemed to notice my shocked expression. He pulled me aside. "Usa, please. He's been sitting here since early this morning, to be precise, he woke me up at 6. Makoto is on a training course right now, and I can't leave. You're all he has left."

"But Toki, you know we're separated, right?" I had to ask him once more, just to make sure.

Of course, I saw how much Mamoru was suffering, and there was no doubt he needed help. But was I the right person to talk to right now? After all, our breakup wasn't that long ago. I followed Motoki's gaze back to him, and my heart broke once again. How much more could he endure? Hadn't he suffered enough recently? The longer I looked at him, the more urgent my desire became to just hold him in my arms. Fate had dealt him another cruel blow. I gave in and rolled my suitcase behind the counter. "Give Mina the message when she arrives, and explain everything to her."

He needed me. Everything else became secondary now. Carefully, I hooked my arm with his and led him away from the stool.

"Mamo, come on, let's go." He staggered slightly, but fortunately regained his balance. This would be an interesting journey home, considering Mamoru was more than a head taller than me and well-built. I probably wouldn't be able to hold him if he fell. Motoki handed me his keys over the counter, which he had taken for safety. I wrapped my arm around Mamoru's waist and draped his arm around the back of my neck. At least I could support him a little. In all the years I had known him, I had never seen him so drunk.

"Bunny... my Bunny..." he slurred as we walked on the street, running his fingers through my hair. His strong alcohol breath wafted towards me. He had clearly consumed more than just beer.

"Mamo, stop that and focus on walking. We're stumbling again," I hissed and tightened my grip around his waist.

"Do you even know what you still mean to me? I loved you so much. I still love you," he said, swaying and coming to a halt.

Great, now he was pouring out his heart to me while intoxicated, right on the street, in this cold weather.

"You were the most important person, and then everything went wrong... Look at me. The love of my life gone, new girlfriend gone, child gone. What do I have left? I've ruined everything."

I wrapped my arms around him, gripping his shoulders and looked up at him. "You still have me... I'm right here, standing in front of you. I haven't gone anywhere, Mamo, and what happened to Rei is not your fault. Don't start blaming yourself for it. Now please, let's go. Your apartment is just two streets away. I'll freeze if we take any longer."

He looked at me, delicate tears glistening in his eyes. He gently brought his hand to my cheek, then closed his eyes and slowly leaned down towards me with pursed lips. When I realized what he was about to do, I quickly stepped back. It was a clear attempt to kiss me. His alcohol breath hit me once again, and in the next moment, he began to retch uncontrollably.

Yes, Mamoru vomited directly onto my shoes. How much had Motoki made him drink? He was in for an earful. First, he gets him drunk, and then I had to bring him home. Next time, he could handle it himself.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked as the retching sounds slowly subsided.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Mamoru mumbled in a dazed state.

I hastily wiped his stomach contents off my shoes with a tissue, secured him under my arm again, and we continued walking in silence. There was a stifling silence between us. He was clearly embarrassed about throwing up, and I felt uncomfortable about his attempted kiss.

Arriving at his apartment, I leaned Mamoru against the wall as I fumbled for his apartment key in my coat pocket to open the door. Mamoru was still staggering heavily. Once he reached the living room, he collapsed lengthwise onto the sofa. The worst was over. He had made it to his apartment.

I felt immense sorrow for Mamoru. He had been through so much: first the illness, then the failure of our relationship, and then he tried with Rei... probably because of the baby. And now both of them were suddenly and unexpectedly gone. He was at his breaking point, and it was evident. A gentle snoring escaped him as he peacefully slept off his drunkenness. He hadn't even taken off his jacket. I could hardly imagine what he was going through. I had never seen him in such a state before.

I crouched in front of him and brushed a strand of hair from his face. Poor Mamo, he really didn't deserve this. As I did, I felt a slight tingling in my stomach.

I knew that we had ended our relationship and that I had Seiya waiting for me. Only Seiya... I couldn't explain it to myself, but I missed the long conversations and discussions with Mamoru. I missed his hugs, his know-it-all attitude, and even his baka remarks. The man lying before me was just a shadow of his former self. Suddenly, I longed for him so much that at first, I didn't notice tears streaming down my face. I just stood there, clutching his jacket tightly and looking at him as he slept off his intoxication.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a large bucket, a glass, and a bottle of water. I placed a pack of headache tablets next to the glass. I sat down next to Mamoru on the sofa and watched him for a while. I gently stroked his cheek when I noticed him tossing and turning restlessly. I whispered softly, "Everything will be okay, Mamoru. I'm here with you."

Letting out a soft sigh, I stood up and started tidying up the apartment a bit. It struck me that Rei's suitcase was now in the bedroom. It made me feel strange; I couldn't stay here and clean up her things. No, the feelings that overwhelmed me were so confusing. It wasn't fair that I stood here now, feeling with him, even though I had already chosen Seiya. We were supposed to go our separate ways. But the past couldn't be easily shaken off, especially when you had been connected to someone as deeply and intensely as Mamoru and I. Fate always brought us together, ever since our youth.

My phone snapped me out of my thoughts; it was Seiya calling. Mamoru didn't seem to notice as he continued snoring peacefully. I went to the kitchen to answer the call.

"Yes? Hello?"

"Hey, darling. Since you're back already... how about meeting up tonight?"

I swallowed. Could I leave Mamoru alone in this state? Definitely not. I would be afraid he might harm himself.

"Um... I'm not sure if I can make it."

"Why? Do you have something else going on?"

"Seiya, I don't want to keep any secrets from you anymore. I'm with Mamoru... wait before you hang up..." I waited for a moment; he hadn't hung up. His steady breathing was audible, but he didn't say anything. "He got extremely drunk, his girlfriend and the unborn baby passed away. He could barely walk straight. I just brought him home, but I can't leave him alone in this condition. I'll only stay until Motoki, a friend of both of us, finishes work. After that, I'll have time."

I prayed that Seiya would understand. Of course, I would have liked to kick myself, but there was no other option. The whole situation with Mamoru was still hard for Seiya to digest, and here I was, with him.

"Seiya, I love you... should I let you know as soon as I can leave here?"

"You can do that if you manage to find the time."

Well, let me correct that: He wasn't just angry, he was furious. But I couldn't think of a way to appease him. Besides, I didn't have the opportunity because he had already hung up. I peeked through the door to Mamoru. I couldn't leave and leave him alone in this state, no way. But I couldn't stay either. I had to go to Seiya, and quickly. I couldn't let it be like this, or he would never talk to me again.

I decided to call Motoki.

"Usa? Is everything okay over there?"

"No, Motoki, everything is not okay! He vomited on my feet. How much did he drink? You should know that alcohol is not the solution! Besides, I can't stay here any longer. Seiya is really mad because I'm with Mamoru. I have to save my relationship now, or at least what's left of it. Think of something and come here!"

"Wait, Usa. Is Seiya that singer?"

"Yes. I'll explain everything to you calmly sometime, but please, come over now so I can leave. Mamo can't stay alone like this."

I heard Motoki exhale heavily, then he put the receiver aside and started discussing with someone.

"I'll be there soon. Mina is here right now and she agreed to cover Crown for the last few hours. I'll just give her a brief explanation."

A wave of relief washed over me. Mina once again saved the day. I had to come up with something to repay her. With how many times she had bailed me out recently, it had to be something special. I would think about it once things settled down here a bit.

I sat back down at the foot of Mamoru's sofa and sank into my thoughts. The many beautiful moments we had shared, the challenging phases we had overcome, the heated discussions we often had. It all felt so close yet so far away. About 20 minutes after our phone call, there was a knock on the door. I threw on my coat and opened it to Motoki.

"Thanks, I'll explain everything later," I called out to him as I passed by, jumped into the first taxi outside the door, and gave Seiya's address. Our apartment, which he had casually bought.