Chapter 35
Feeling greatly disturbed by the whole situation, I stood in front of Seiya's apartment shortly after. I didn't even know if he was actually home. He could just as well be at Yaten's or Taiki's place. Would he even open the door for me? Trembling, I lifted my finger to the doorbell. He had put up a doorplate, and I cautiously ran my finger over it. Kou / Tsukino. My name was written there. It took me a while to gather the courage to press the button. With all the tension, I held my breath. Only when I heard footsteps behind the door did I dare to breathe again. Seiya opened the door and looked at me coldly. I had never seen such an expression on his face before.
"Hi, can I come in?" I squeaked softly, to which he pushed the door further open.
With hesitant steps, I entered, and my heart was pounding wildly. Seiya stood before me with his arms crossed. When I saw him like that, I knew I had messed up quite a bit. His expression told me that he was not only angry but also hurt.
"Oh, how come you have time now?" he said after a while.
"Seiya, there was nothing going on. Please believe me, I really only took him home as a friend. He was completely drunk... He's really in a bad shape, so bad that he even puked on my shoes," I tried to explain the situation, pointing to the still visible stains on my shoes.
As I said the last part, I clearly saw him suppressing a small laugh. He probably thought I deserved it. I took a step towards him and gently held his hand. Then I lifted my head and looked deeply into his eyes.
"I love you. Only you. But Mamoru needed me. He lost everything. His new girlfriend was pregnant, he had told me before my business trip... and now she suddenly passed away. I couldn't leave him alone. Please look at me, Seiya. I had already told Mamoru that my heart belongs only to you. Please tell me that we can make it, that we still have a chance to grow old together."
I couldn't hold back anymore; I was on the verge of tears again. The desperate images of Mamoru were still in my mind, and on top of that, there was the fear that Seiya would kick me out any moment.
He took a moment, looking at me intently before finally pulling me into his arms. My head rested on his chest as he gently stroked my hair. "I hope so. I really hope so," he whispered.
We stood like that for a while, and I could hear his steady heartbeat as we completely shut out the surroundings. Eventually, he pushed me back slightly.
"But you have to promise me one thing, darling. No more hiding and no more secrets, ever again."
I knew what he meant by that. He wanted us to be seen together in public. For me to step forward as his official partner in front of the whole world. I had resisted this step for so long, but if that's what he wanted as proof of my love, then so be it.
I had already separated from Mamoru and Diamond, but in Mamoru's current situation, it might give him another blow. But he knew how I felt about Seiya. I would definitely talk to him again, about everything. Even though we were no longer together, I knew he would need me in his situation... and Diamond... well, who knew how he would react. He was always unpredictable.
"What does your manager say about it?" I asked, trying to remain calm but having a queasy feeling in my stomach.
"I don't care about that. He'll come up with something. Besides, he still has Yaten and Taiki to play the singles for him."
"Good, no more hiding. Let's show ourselves to the world," my voice sounded much more fragile than intended. There would indeed be no turning back, but I didn't want that either.
He brushed his thumb against my cheek and pulled me closer to him. Then he lightly kissed my lips, a shy kiss that awakened all the warm butterflies in my stomach that I had almost forgotten.
"Perfect, wear something fancy. You can accompany me right away," he said with a broad grin.
"Um... and where to?" I asked, confused.
"To the red carpet. We have tickets for a film premiere because Three Lights took over the theme song. I didn't want to go originally, but this way, you won't be able to back out," he said, winking. Obviously, he wanted to make things happen right away.
After all the drama of the day, I really didn't feel like going out. I just wanted to soak in the bathtub and slip into bed. I looked deep into Seiya's eyes, and it was evident that he was serious. He genuinely wanted to go to this premiere with me tonight. Of course, he wanted the whole world to see that I was with him, that I stood by his side. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
Who could have guessed that he would come up with something like this right away? I would have expected us to just go downtown and get ice cream or something. There were always plenty of his fans there, as we had seen during the movie outing. But it was Seiya, and such surprises hardly surprised me anymore. If we had met tomorrow, he would have surely had another event on his calendar to take me to. Backing out was no longer an option; I had to go through with it to show him that I was serious. Besides, there were definitely worse things than walking on a red carpet once and watching a brand new movie. At least I wouldn't have to talk to anyone during that.
While my stomach still grumbled, I nodded. Then a glimmer of hope struck me. Saphir would see it too. Maybe it would deter him from continuing with his plans if he saw that I wasn't still seeing his brother. That I was happily committed to another man. Yes, I liked that thought. Maybe he would finally leave me alone.
"Do I still have the dress you gave me in the closet?" I asked hesitantly, standing in front of him again. Nervously, I fiddled with the dress.
Seiya shook his head slightly and pointed to a large suitcase and a bag at the end of the hallway. "I think it's in there, in the bag," he mumbled.
So he had already packed my things. He had been so close to erasing me from his life. My stomach clenched painfully. I had just managed to turn things around. Slowly, I walked towards the bag and pulled out my dress, which was on top.
"When do we have to leave?" I asked hesitantly, fidgeting with the dress.
"In half an hour. If you need more time, we can go later. Don't stress yourself," he replied, and the atmosphere became slightly tense again.
"No, half an hour is enough for me."
I briefly thought of Diamond. Something like "We can go later" would never have come out of his mouth. I would have had to run there in my underwear instead. I gave Seiya a quick, tender kiss on the lips and then disappeared into the bathroom. My things were all gone here as well. The drawers and cabinets were empty. A sense of guilt quietly crept over me. I had truly hurt him deeply, and I regretted it. Behind the door, I spotted a box with my hairdryer peeking out. I breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was still there, although unorganized and removed from his sight. I rummaged through the box to find the essentials and then started getting ready.
A glance at the clock told me that I was done in 23 minutes. I had really become much faster. Seiya sat casually on the sofa in his suit, watching TV. I still couldn't believe my luck. He had actually forgiven me, or rather, he was giving me a second chance. With love and little butterflies in my stomach, I looked over at him. Then I cleared my throat.
"Are you taking me like this?" I asked, spinning around once, causing the dress to lightly billow.
Seiya grinned, approached me, and wrapped his hands around my waist, tilting his head down towards me. A slight shiver ran through me.
"If you put on clean shoes, yes." He seemed to be getting more relaxed in his interaction with me again, and hopefully, that was a good sign.
I playfully nudged him back. "You idiot, I'm well aware that I need different shoes. I mean, does the rest look good?"
"Of course, but I would take you even in a potato sack. Does that mean you're ready?"
"Yes, I think so. Are your brothers coming too?"
"No, Taiki is on vacation with Amy, in the Canary Islands or something, and Yaten... oh, I don't know... he's probably grumbling somewhere as usual."
This evening passed by me like a dream, as if I weren't really myself. Seiya held my hand the whole time, occasionally pulling me closer for some photos or giving me a tender kiss. Photographers were everywhere, shouting his name, and flashes were coming from every corner. I didn't know what to do or where to look. I was overwhelmed by all the new impressions. However, Seiya continued walking smoothly, without engaging much in conversation with anyone.
Suddenly, I stopped. A familiar face nodded discreetly at me from the crowd, Haruka. I stood there, still as a statue, staring at her.
"Hello, miss, can you tell us your name? How long have you been together with Seiya?" one of the photographers called out to me.
"Do you know each other for a long time? Is it true love?" shouted another.
"You're doing great. Just ignore them," Seiya whispered encouragingly, guiding me forward with a gentle push. Then he turned around once, beaming his brightest smile and winking at the cameras. "No comment." His hand rested on my hip.
When we finally took our seats, the tension eased a bit. I would never understand why he loved these public appearances. Would I ever get used to them?
The movie was a typical action film, and I snuggled closely into Seiya's arms during the screening. I enjoyed the tranquility, finally able to organize my thoughts and feelings. It felt right and good to be here with him, but Mamoru kept sneaking into my thoughts. How was he doing now? Would Motoki stay the night with him? What would have happened if I had just stayed with Diamond in the Philippines this morning?
For a good two hours, the carousel of questions spun in my head while I lay in Seiya's embrace, and he gently stroked my back. I didn't pay any attention to the film.
After the movie ended, I quickly headed to the restroom. As is often the case in women's restrooms, there was a huge crowd with a long line. To pass the time, I glanced at my phone. Four messages.
Bunny, let's talk again, please. Mamoru.
Red carpet! Are you serious! Mina.
Beautiful dress ;-) Mina.
Crisis meeting tomorrow at the Crown! Motoki.
I left them all unanswered and put my phone back in my pocket. The rest of the evening belonged to Seiya. Just him and me. I would deal with Mamoru, Mina, and Motoki tomorrow after work.