Chapter 47

I woke up in the guest room, the bed was empty. The whole apartment felt deserted, mirroring exactly what I felt inside.

There was a note on the coffee table, and as I read it, I felt a pang of regret.

- Good morning, Bunny. I'm on the early shift, call me if you need anything. Mamo -

Beside it lay the empty wrapper of my chocolate from last night – he actually had my chocolate for breakfast.

I made myself a latte and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to sort out the turmoil of my thoughts. There were so many things I needed to discuss with Yaten and Taiki – from Seiya's funeral to the matters with Diamond and Saphir, and our shared apartment. There was just so much to clarify.

With trembling fingers, I sent a message to Yaten: Can we meet? I hoped he would bring Mina with him, as I could really use her support now. I left the phone on the table and shuffled to the bathroom. But even here, I was overwhelmed by memories. When I stepped out of the shower, I felt like any moment the door would open and Seiya would walk in with his mischievous grin. The loneliness in this apartment, filled with memories, was unbearable.

I put on Seiya's jogging pants and his oversized sweater, put the phone in my pocket, and set off. At first, I walked aimlessly through the streets, but then I noticed that my legs had led me to the Crown Arcade. I took a deep breath and entered the familiar place.

Motoki stopped in his tracks when he saw me. The mix of compassion and sadness in his eyes was enough to activate my tear glands again. I fought back the rising tears and forced myself to collect myself, not to sink into despair again. With trembling hands, I took my usual spot, while Motoki silently placed a chocolate shake and a blueberry muffin in front of me. His silence spoke volumes – he knew I couldn't bear any more condolences.

Yes, when and where? A message from Yaten popped up, he seemed to be awake now.

I'm at the Crown Arcade, just come whenever you have time.

Motoki kept glancing at me, but he didn't dare say anything. He sensed that I wasn't ready for a conversation and wanted to wait for me to take the first step. But at this moment, I just didn't have the strength for more conversations. My thoughts were still spinning like a carousel, and the emptiness inside me seemed to swallow me up.

Eventually, I broke the silence and turned to Motoki. "Toki, could you give me a piece of paper and a pen, please?" I asked with a broken voice in the stillness. Motoki placed a notepad and a pen in front of me, and I gratefully took them. I felt overwhelmed by an avalanche of thoughts whirling around in my head. I needed to write everything down to clear my mind. The apartment, Seiya's things, the funeral, Diamond, and Saphir – those were the major topics I needed to address and explain. I started jotting down further details for each point, while my hand could hardly keep up with the writing.

Motoki occasionally glanced over the counter and peeked at the paper. He understood that I was in some kind of exceptional state and needed to sort out my thoughts urgently. His silent support gave me some strength.

The point about the funeral turned into a torrent of words. I wrote down everything that came to mind – from the floral arrangements to the choice of music. It was the last thing I could do for Seiya, and it had to be perfect. Tears mingled with the letters on the paper, but I didn't let that stop me from writing. It felt like I was trapped in a frantic state, driven by the need to plan and organize every detail.

By now, almost three sheets were filled, when suddenly someone tapped on my shoulder from behind. I flinched and turned around.

Surprised, I looked up from my paper, and there they were - Yaten and Taiki. Their faces still reflected the agony we had been through in the past days. My heart ached at the sight of their drawn faces, and I felt a lump in my throat. Slowly, I got up and clutched the notepad tightly to my chest.

I glanced briefly at Motoki. "Is it okay if we go to the kitchen to talk? These are Seiya's brothers," I explained softly. Just mentioning Seiya's name brought back the stabbing pain in my heart. "Yes, of course. You know the way." On the way there, I asked hesitantly, "Would you like something to drink?" Yaten and Taiki shook their heads simultaneously, and so I led them silently to the kitchen door.

We sat down at the small table, but none of us knew how to start the conversation. The uncomfortable silence hung heavily in the air, intensifying the tension between us.

Determined, I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts one last time, and turned back to the first page. It was time to address the open questions.

"Thank you for taking the time," I began with a hint of gratitude in my voice. The exhaustion in their faces was unmistakable, yet I knew we had to clarify these important matters, no matter how difficult it was. "The first thing we need to discuss is the apartment," I continued, making a brief pause to gauge their reaction. They looked so exhausted, but I couldn't remain silent any longer. "I am aware that the apartment is now yours. I only ask for some time to find an affordable place for myself. I know how difficult the current housing market is, but I promise you..."

I couldn't finish my sentence, as Taiki raised his hand, silencing me. He rummaged briefly in his briefcase and slid a paper over to me. My hands trembled as I took it and unfolded it.

"No, Usagi," Taiki said with a gentle voice. "It belongs to you. You don't have to find something new. Seiya registered you as a co-owner from the beginning."

In amazement, my mouth dropped open as I looked closer at the paper and read the words written on it. Owners: Seiya Kou and Usagi Tsukino. It was written there in black and white. I quickly wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes. Why had he never told me? In that moment, I felt a gentle touch on my hand, and as I looked up at Yaten, I saw understanding and solace in his eyes.

"Just be happy about it," he said with empathetic tone. "It was Seiya's wish, and we should respect it."

A smile appeared on my lips. "Thank you. Okay, let's move on to the next item on my list." I took a deep breath. It was much harder than I had imagined. My gaze was fixed on the paper, and a queasy feeling spread in my stomach. "What... what should we do with his things?" I asked hesitantly.

Taiki closed his eyes for a moment, probably to think more clearly. Yaten, on the other hand, couldn't help but let out a dry laugh. "Do you mean his stuff or his boutique?" A smirk appeared on my face. Yes, it was true, Seiya had countless clothes, at least three times as much as I did.

"Both. Would you like to have some of it? Or what should we do with the things that..." My voice trailed off. Actually, I didn't want anything to change. I wanted to keep his overcrowded wardrobe, the chaos in his office, and the full shelves where he randomly stuffed everything. I realized I wasn't ready to let him go yet. A lump formed in my throat as the pain burned inside me.

"Usagi, we don't need to decide that now. There's time for that," Taiki said empathetically, as if he could read my thoughts. Gratefully, I nodded. My gaze returned to the paper, and an icy coldness enveloped me. Funeral.

"Seiya... he told me once that he didn't want a traditional funeral," I began with a trembling voice. "We only briefly discussed it, but he wanted it in the American or European style. I've looked into it a bit... Here are some possible speakers, and for the wreaths, I thought of red roses and white lilies. If it's too much, just stop me. I know I'm talking fast, but I'm afraid I'll start crying again and won't be able to continue." I took a deep breath to control my emotions and continued, "At such funerals, modern songs are also played. I think it would be nice to have something from Three Lights played as well. That way, Seiya's voice would still be with us. Also, close relatives can give a memorial speech to honor the person. I just want everything to be perfect."

"Do you really want to take care of the entire organization? Or is it too much for you?" Taiki asked with concern, glancing at my trembling hands. His words hit me right in the heart, as he could see the fear and vulnerability inside me.

"I love your ideas and would like to help with the planning," Yaten added. A soft nod was my only response. Whether I liked it or not, I had to do it. Seiya deserved it. My gaze moved to the last point on my list, and in that moment, it felt like my world was crumbling. With trembling hands, I crumpled the papers in my fist. It was time to close my eyes because I couldn't bear to look into Yaten's and Taiki's eyes any longer.

The memories of that fateful day became so vivid that I could hardly keep myself upright. "Now it's my turn to tell you something... I don't even know where to start," I whispered softly as tears rolled uncontrollably down my cheeks. "So... I have a friend, Diamond. I met him through work and became his personal consultant... Diamond has a brother named Saphir. A few years ago, Saphir experienced a severe tragedy for which he blamed Diamond. When I started meeting Diamond regularly, Saphir decided that I should be his target. He wanted to pay him back in the same way... He believed that Diamond and I were a couple... And that's why his target was my life... His first attempt on my life was during my car accident while you were on the China tour. He had tampered with the brakes of my car and provoked the accident... Seiya knew nothing about it. I didn't want him to worry. From that moment on, Diamond hired a bodyguard for me... Haruka was also in the park that night... She followed us and... and saw Saphir aiming his gun at me. She jumped in front of me and pulled me out of the line of fire... Right at the moment when Saphir pulled the trigger... Seiya was standing where I had been... It was my bullet! The bullet that took him from us was meant for me."

My body trembled with fear and pain as I curled up on the chair.

"Why isn't this Saphir in jail if you know who he is?" Yaten finally yelled in anger, as he regained his composure.

"Because his father is filthy rich. They locked him up in a cell on their private estate. I went to confront him, but I couldn't say a single word," I whispered, my voice trembling.

Yaten was filled with a rage that manifested in his clenched fists and his sparkling gaze. His voice trembled with anger as he announced his decision: "This is ridiculous! He can't get away with this unpunished. I'll make sure that Saphir is brought to trial and gets what he deserves!" His voice trembled with anger.

Taiki, on the other hand, remained silent, observing me with an inscrutable expression. He slowly stepped back. "Forgive me, but I need some time alone to think about what has been said," he said softly. His words sounded like an echo of the hopelessness that surrounded me. While Yaten continued to stare at me with anger, I could see the pain in his eyes. His outburst was an expression of the internal torment tearing him apart. The room filled again with a heavy silence as I desperately tried to suppress my tears. The pain of his loss was so overwhelming and tangible, as if it had just happened.

Suddenly, Yaten stood up, tossed his chair to the ground, and swept everything off the table with a single motion, causing it to shatter on the floor. In that moment, he had to give voice to his anger, and I could understand exactly how he felt.

When Motoki heard the noise, he rushed into the kitchen in panic. I still sat there, mesmerized, on my chair, staring at a spot on the wall. I couldn't take it anymore. I had reached the breaking point.

I vaguely noticed Motoki guiding Yaten outside. The worst was over.